The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Ethersea - Episode 23

Episode Date: January 13, 2022

Content warning: this episode contains themes involving highly contagious diseasesCambria's Call: Part Two Founder's Wake has been transformed. As Devo and Amber adjust to their new piscine features, Finneas Cawl seeks to further reawaken his memories. A search for contraband reagents begins. Additional music in this episode: "The Apotheosis of All Deserts," and “Palaver” by ROZKOL https://rozkol.bandcamp.com/ Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Previously, on the Adventure Zone Ethersea. The three of you, unintentionally, brought something into the city that is not safe. Do you remember the sallow? So this was the disease that gave people fish-like features, yes? We had a system that helped everybody in our city to breathe and provide everybody in our city with potable water. And it was built on the backs of five enormous fighters. Now we have one who is trying to hold back the sallow single-handedly while also providing air and water into our city. Have you all met Phineas?

Call? They came up with his comatose body in a bathysphere from who knows where. My friend Zooks here. Let him go in to this Phineas person's mind. It's so easy. And then you remember something else. You remember a dark place, a quiet, dark place. And then when you come to, Devo looks up at you first, you notice that emerging from

underneath his chin, there are two small webbed fins now. And then Amber meets your gaze and she's looking back at you with fish eyes. You realize what is happening to them is happening everywhere. The city of Founders' Wake is transforming. So Griffin, here as we start, should Justin and I introduce our new player characters? Yeah, right. Mine's called Lord Professor Legume. And he's a, he's a what? What's his story?

I'm actually, careful. That's, hey, guys, that's one. Yeah, that's true. We can't Beetlejuice. He's a living green bean. Okay. Two? Don't do it, Travis, please I'm begging you, nobody.

Stop. He's got a strained relationship with his father. Yes. Okay. Amber, you open your eyes and you are looking at the ceiling of a clinic here in Founders Wake. You've almost certainly had occasion to go here in the 25 years that Founders Wake has been established. It is very antiseptic, which is, I guess, good for a health care facility. It smells like a hospital.

Oh, it's too clean. It is definitely the noisiest you have heard it. But like all of your senses are kind of taking a backseat to your sense of sight because when you open your eyes and you look up at this ceiling, you are also kind of looking at the walls around you and can almost see the floor below you. You are seeing things with a field of vision that is dramatically, dramatically increased to what you had before you blacked out in the cafeteria. You see Devo, who is seated up in a bed, much like the one that you are currently resting in. and you see Dr. Shack looking at his vitals, checking in on him.

And you also see Zooks, who is seated like a sentinel in the corner, in a chair. To what extent is this, like, am I able to process this visual stimuli? Do I have places, like patches in my vision where I can't see because I'm not genetically designed to have this sort of thing or is it like vertigo? How am I feeling? I mean, you would have to tell me about like your reaction to your site. I will say that

it may be a constitution role. Yeah, just to see how you're getting your bearing. So we don't put like a whole lot of weight or repercussions on this, but just like this is your first time opening your new eyes. Okay, 16 plus two. Yeah, you are... I must stop putting the answers

because I think it would make this show more educational. You feel like your sight is improved, right? It's kind of like when you, obviously, to a much more heightened degree, and you are actually the only person on this podcast, you may not know this sensation, the first time you put on a new pair of glasses, and you realize like, oh, man, my prescription has actually gotten much stronger. Why would I put on glasses, Griffin? I go. These beautiful, perfect peepers. Right, sure. It's like when you put on your blue blocking glasses, Justin, to protect your gamer eyes.

I forgot to get those. The thing that does bother you, it's not so much you're seeing or how much you can see or how you're processing this like bigger field of vision. The light is, your eyes are very sensitive. Letting in too much light. Yeah, because your pupils are now like a completely different like shape. Devo, you're doing okay. You woke up a bit before Amber. You know that it has been a few days since what happened in the cafeteria happened.

And Zooks, obviously, you know it as well because Zooks, you never lost consciousness. You were there when chaos broke out and you helped get your friends to the clinic that they have been resting in now for a while. Devo, the extent of your sort of like physical change is that your throat feels a bit tight, almost like you are recovering from a sore throat in that it like doesn't sting. It doesn't like hurt anymore. but it just feels like it is a little, it takes a little bit more effort for you to, to make sound out. And is there,

there's a physical, like an outward change as well, correct? Yes, you have, you have these two kind of like webbed fins that go down from your jaw line, basically down kind of to your, to your collarbone. They're not like enormous, but Dr. Shack maybe had to cut your shirt a little bit.

to sort of make room for these. Not your fancy new jacket. No, I just undid a button. I would not. Oh, okay, that's fine too. I would not cut my shirt. Yeah, other than that, like, yeah, it's a little bit harder for you to talk.

That's as far as you can tell that the changes have gone. And Zooks, you now see that both of your friends are awake. And Dr. Shack is putting a, you know, know, what's it called, an otoscope in your, in your mouth looking in there to see about your lymph nodes. And he says, oh, okay, these nodes, these nodes are dope, um, dope nodes. Uh, and, oh, gosh, Amber, good morning. And he walks over to you, Amber, and starts shining the same thing, uh, in, in your eyes now. Ah, careful, dark eye. That feels terrible. Why are you, why do you, have you had some sort of change to your vocal cords? What's...

Oh, I haven't tried to talk yet. Oh, that's better. You just cleared you... Okay, so no, you don't have like a frog situation. And I feel like your... How was that even to happen? Um, well, what do you remember? It's all really fozy.

Uh... I was trying to make a choice that she had gills, but I think that I think that I I'm going to wreck con it. It's unpleasant to do and unpleasant to hear. So I'm ret conning that. Are you sure you don't want to commit to it? No, that's what I do.

In an exclusive one-shot comic, you've got... You're joining us in the middle of a T-Tazz, in the middle of an episode of Taz. An exclusive one-shot. Yeah, there's a big fuck-up I did, and so I decided to change it. No, no, no, no, it's not a fuck-up.

It's been retcon. Oh, I see. An exclusive one-shot comic, true fan. track down where they found out that Amber was actually in another reality she met Wave Rider who took her into this reality and cured her gillitis so that's not a thing and that was unrelated to the cello that was yes right um he holds up a um like an eye chart uh can you read what's the lowest line on this that you can read i guess uh Griffin I'm sorry you just The most improbable.

A completely immaterial thing. Yeah, read this. Read this imaginary chart. I know you. If I had been like X, you'd been like, nope. That's not at the top. He just kind of shakes his face. Can you see good?

It's weird. Like the things are really bright. Like, oh man, actually, does he be? I was going to ask if he had sunglasses, there is no reality in which that would exist here. The sun? He actually points at his own eyes and he says, oh, yeah, I get it. Because he's got, he has fish eyes as well. It's fine.

It's fine. He reaches in his pocket. He pulls out one of those plastic pair. Again, Justin, I think that you will not recognize, like those rolled up plastic sunglasses that they give you at the eye doctor. when you've had your eyes dilated. That looks like... That makes sense. Okay, yes.

And he hands those to you. He says, that should help. They just look pretty dumb. Oh, that news for fan art. I'm never taking them all. Okay. Yeah. Doctor.

Yeah. Doctor. Yeah. When will this go away? When will... Here, let me show you. And then he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his wallet. and shows you one of his high school senior pictures from 20 years ago,

and he has pufferfish face there also. And he says, it does. So at least 20 years. At least it doesn't go away. This is your new life. This is your new form. It's not all bad. I found there to be many beneficial things about my, my sallow blessing.

And I'm sure you want to. I would like to take it to do a quick, I guess this would be a perception role to see if I notice any other, like obviously the I thing. Got that. I'd like to do like a quick rundown. Sure. Through Fort Amber to see if there's any other changes. Yeah. I don't think you need to roll a perception check for that.

Oh, okay. Well, you have rolled a very good perception check. No, it is just the ice. It is the only thing that you have experienced. You actually know, because, like, you were on the beach when the sallow hit, it usually is just one thing. Although you also get the impression that whatever happened here in Founders Wake was a much more sort of, like, potent version of what happened just based on how widespread it seems like it was. Okay, Doctor, what is the transformation and then what are the other symptoms? What goes along with the salo?

He walks over to the door out of the room and cracks it open and grabs a chart from outside and starts flipping through it. And he says, it's not like any other illness where you have a set list of simple. There's, let me see, hold on. Here is a, some barbels, a lot of barbels. There's, um, uh, let's see, a blowhole, a few blowholes in here. This is your physical transformation. What are the internal, what is the sickness part of this? There is, there is no, there is no sickness part of it. It is a, it is a physical change. That is usually not entirely detrimental. How are you feeling, Devo?

Point, give me a point at the face that looks like your face for pain, I mean. That is quite a sentence. You said there, Griffin, do you want to take another run at it? No, I actually, Sydney, I've been doing some consulting with Sydney about Dr. Shaq's character, and she says that that's how they say it in most hospitals. Okay, good. I am, do you have a face that portrays being very pissed off at generations of people before you that could have looked into a cure for this instead of just accepting that this is the thing that wouldn't happen again? And so now I'm stuck with having these fins on my fucking face.

What face is that face? That's not on the chart. It's mostly about. Yeah, this is what I thought. Okay. This, you please understand that these feelings you are feeling are not only valid, they are currently in vogue for pretty much everyone in Founders' wake. That is to say, the people who survived their transformations, which is not a lock. So at least you have that going for you, he says.

Have you seen other people that come down at this? lately or is this a new thing? He just us. He walks outside and he grabs like as many charts as he can carry and sets them down. He says, what happened a few days ago was an sort of instantaneous transformation of every breathing creature in the city. So it's you all should see something. and he opens the door and gestures you all to come towards it and you see like

hallways filled with with with people you see rooms with people who all look different like they all you know some some of them have scales some of them just have like this this new kind of like vibrant coloration. Some have, you see a blowhole or two. You see fins and you see sort of bioluminescent, you know, flex and lanterns and just all kinds of things. The people, everyone that you see here has some new, you know, feature. Dr. Shaq, was it? Don't pretend like you don't know my name.

I know. Dr. Shack, are we free to go? I guess so. I mean, I am curious about you, and he looks at you, Zooks. He says, have you felt anything? And Zooks bursts into tears. Just completely falling apart, wracked with sobs. What did you say to Zooks?

He is crying. He is. he goes running up and even though they're reluctant, he pulls Amber into a hug, pulls Devo into a big group hug and just starts going on and on. It says, I am so sorry. I hate this.

You're sick. I am. I'm sorry. It's really not. No, this is all my fault. Okay. Zooks has had a major revelation. Oh, okay.

Devo, you're Carrie. And, and Amber, you are Miranda. What the fuck are you talking about? And Zooks is Charlotte. Hey, Dad. Hey, Dad, time out. If you interrupt him, I'll never forgive you. I need every dollar for this.

He's got. I live for this shit. Charlotte is the emotional one. Charlotte is the one that feels everything and blames herself for everything. And Miranda is kind of the cold, clear vision of what's going on and carries the natural leader. Do you guys, do you guys not, hey, what's happening? Dr. Shack is more of a Samantha. I think we.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Travis, as much as you've made us listen to you talk about entourage, you do not have a leg to stand in honor. No, listen. But never in character. I'm not a character. He just crying.

He was crying. I'm telling you what Zooks was feeling. Zooks was feeling the feeling that one feels when they realize their friend is a Charlotte. Right. In essence, Zooks somehow blames himself for this. I mean, he had the vision. He saw the vents in the floor. And he's still confused about how much, how involved, you know, Phineas call is with his own psyche.

and he feels a tremendous amount of guilt. And how much of that do you think that just character to care, or player to player, how much of that do you think is absorbed from Phineas and how much do you think is like Zook's own feelings? Is it hard to tell? I think it's, I think it comes from Phineas, to be honest with you. But I mean, there's so many questions left unanswered.

But at least now we know, you know, a little bit about what happened on the floor that bathysphere. Yeah. But I think, in all seriousness, I really think Zooks feels this guilt, this weight upon him. And I'm not trying to be funny, but I mean, I'm kind of channeling the whole having a one role into this. No, how bad you, Clint fucked up is, I get it. Yeah, 100%. Zooks, I understand that you are feeling a lot of feelings right now.

And I can relate to this very much, but were you able to connect with the memory of Phineas call? Yeah, yeah, right. I did. I did. I saw this. It was a very dark place. It was, there were these vents in the ground, a big crack in like this sandy floor. It was very quiet.

It was very dark. And there was all this pressure. So I'm assuming it had to do with depth. So I'm thinking it was very deep, but it still had a sandy bottom, had a vent. And I knew, or at least, Phineas knew that it was a very sacred place, that all life came from this vent. And then there was a voice, and I can't not remember what it said, because then the alarms start going off and you guys were all sick.

Yes. Okay, sorry. Keep it together. And so then we, you know, we rushed you over here. I tried to, you know, pick you guys up, but it was kind of gross and scary. So I ran along with the people who brought you in here and I've been sitting there ever since, except for the time that I, you know, went to get a little something to eat or, you know, go. Something too much against you. Yeah, you can't expect you.

But I sat there. I would say I sat there. I don't know, probably two or three days. And out of that two or three days, I sat in that chair for at least half a day, watching over you, your silent sentinel. Because I love you guys, and I don't want you to die.

Ziz, I want you to know something very important. Yeah. If these circumstances were not as dire as they are, I would spend about 20 minutes on the phrase Sandy Bottom. And it's so important to, means that you know this. Right. But now we have to move past this, and you have what we might call a lead.

We need to talk to someone in this complex who knows the area better than anyone else and see if this idea of a vent in the ground, a crack where life comes from, if this connects to any locations in their mind. And then... The vent event. I called it the vent event. We're not going to choose this. Okay.

But we can call it the life crack. No. The life crack is the sandy bottom. Not the same phrase with Sandy bottom. It's pretty big, right? Maybe it's the venty vent. No, it's the life crack in the sandy bottom. And then when...

Well, it's how the whole event, because it was a big deal. It's the venty-vent vent. Okay, there is a hole for that. Okay. I hate everything. There's a knock on the open door. And you see Amperstant 5 holding Phineas's lantern in his hand. And the lantern flashes and says,

I don't think we called it the venty-venty-vinty-vint. Life crack feels good, but I also don't think that's right either. So now you do remember something. Oh, I know all of it. I just can't I just can't seem to recall that info. It's in here, though. So, wait, if we keep naming bad suggestions of information,

will it jog your memory about the correct ones? He says, that, um, That will probably take a little bit longer than the time we've got. And Amperstan Find brings him into the room and sets the lantern down and kind of waves quietly at the three of you all. And Dr. Shack. Finney's lantern lights up and says, listen, I know that I possess the information we need to save the city. and it's probably because I am not really a living thing in the traditional sense that I can't seem to pull that, pull that out. And ampersand 5 closes the door and Finia says,

I want to go with you all to. figure this out. Not only so we can let this city breathe deeply and safely again, but also so I can figure out who killed me and what happened in the last moments of my life. And I want to figure that out soon because I am, I am, I don't know a good word for it other than dying, but I am not going to be able to stay here much, much longer. Well, bummer. Yeah, it's, it's complicated, he says, to be half alive and risk losing that. But that's going to happen no matter what.

I just, I want to go on one more adventure before my light goes out. So what do you say we team up and figure this thing out together? If it gets us to the point of it, then yes, this is fine. Okay. So will I be lugging around your lamp? I mean, I wouldn't mind. No, I've, I, I, I, Amper San has agreed to, uh, come along as well. And, and Ampersand's body language is kind of like, very, um, very reserved.

You can't tell, but it, like, he almost seems sad about, like, having this conversation out loud. Um, we are wasting time. Right. So, yes, this is fine. We need to get to the Coriolis. Maybe if there are somebody, and maybe you would know this better than us, Phineas, if there are somebody in this city who knows the surrounding ocean floor and might be able to recognize a description or has, I don't know, maps that we can reference

to try to figure out where this place you remember is, then we need to be able to recognize. to get moving now. The ocean's big. No fucking doi. Yeah, sorry. No, I was sort of the O.G. Ethersea cartographer, so I know I'm kind of the maps guy. He says, the problem is that it was 25 years and one death ago. And so it's not a question of who has the right map.

It's a question of how do we get memories out of my brain without going through the usual sort of neural pathways? Hmm. Any ideas? Will you? Yes. Come here. Hmm. I'm going to cast detect thoughts.

Oh, okay. Um, and so I can, uh, I can, uh, I can probe deeper. The target would make a wisdom saving throw, but he could choose to fail it. And let's see. I don't think this spell does what you think it does. Yeah, I'm reading it now.

Why just fucking cast it? Oh, I know. Yeah, yeah, no. This would work. Okay. Yeah, that I would then ask questions and read his mind, basically, magically, and not through the neural pathways, right?

Okay, sure. Yeah, let's try it. Okay. Phineas, I want you to try to clear your mind and I want you to focus on the questions I am asking, not what you think I want to hear, not what you know, but listen to the actual question

and think about the question more than, anything else, okay? Okay, he says. When you start to cast this spell, I guess you have to vape in order to get this going. I think everybody else in the room notices first before you, but those fins on your neck glow a very faint, like, light blue. They light up with little tiny specks of,

light blue light, and they kind of like shudder a little bit. Oh, fuck yeah. I'm even more beautiful than before. You feel like this spell is a bit more, is a bit more potent. Obviously, he's like electing to fail so you, you know, maybe you can't gauge it, or Devo can't necessarily gauge it directly. But these fins have given you a plus one to your spell. casting modifier. Oh, fuck yeah. Okay.

Hear me, Phineas call. Hear my voice and let it guide you. Remember your journey. Do not worry about numbers or guidance, but remember what you saw and fell. Am I getting anything, Griffin? How about we do this? Why don't you roll a wisdom saving throw for, for Phineas? And it's not to contest its spell.

It is to, like, summon up deep forgotten memories. Because, like, this is not how this spell is used in the traditional manner, I don't think. That is a five. That is a five. Not great. Here's what I will give you. for a five, you start to detect thoughts. And it is thoughts of a party.

A party here in the city a long time ago. You are like looking around at people at this party and they are, like their style is different from the clothes that people wear now. And you can also tell that like it must be, early days of the city, uh, because they are in the ballast. And it's like all that there is. Like it's a very, it's a much smaller city, basically. Uh, and some people are like taking droppers and like taking some drops on their tongue. Uh, and they start to hand it toward you. Uh, and when you reach out to take it, you notice that you're,

Your hands are a bit like orange and scaly. And that's when you realize that you are actually detecting Dr. Schack's thoughts of a college party he was at one time. Dr. Shaq, leave? Could you please leave the room? He looks up at you and like his eyes go wide when he realizes like what it is that you just saw. And he says, uh, uh, what, uh, why? Get out. Oh, uh, um, okay.

He walks out of the room and you realize as his, like, memory fades away that the people in this room at this party are taking grotto in this, like, weird, condensed form and having, like, a real, having a real trip on it. Yeah, Diva's going to store it that away for later. Okay. And he leaves the room. Okay. Phineas, I want you to push. and there is something stopping you from remembering this thing. Someone has taken this or something is stopping you from doing it.

And the only way that we are going to be able to help these people is for you to push against this thing. And if it hurts, you just push harder. And that is how we are going to be able to be able. to help these people. Now remember this journey. Think about what you felt as your bathysphere went deeper and deeper. Remember how you felt when you saw this crack in the ground? Remember how you felt when you heard someone behind you and turned. Remember these things and push through it.

All right, go ahead and cast his heck thoughts again. I think this is just going to cost you another spell slot. Yeah, I think that's worth it. And roll another wisdom saving throw to see if you can crack into this guy's inception mind palace. You know, he was the wisdom saving throw. Okay, that's better. 19 plus 2, 21. Okay.

You start to see things. in the same way that Zooks saw things, at least what Zooks has described to you. You see the vents on the ocean floor that are

just shooting up bubbles and light and warmth and speaking in a voice that you remember this thing, you remember the shape of it, you do not remember the words that it said. But, but,

Do I recognize the language? It's not even a question of like if you recognize the language. Like that data isn't in Phineas Call's head to a degree where you, you did not pull that with this spell. What you do see is a bubble on the ocean floor. And it is pitch black down here. It is abyssal. Except for this bubble is lit up like a city.

It is strange because it makes it seem like this little self-contained city is floating in like the emptiness of space. And you see through the cockpit of a ship arriving. in this city and just passing through the bubble and landing on solid ground. And there are so many people down here. And the people all look so familiar. And in the back of this city, there is just this monolithic building with what looked like sort of water towers, enormous water towers sort of surrounding it. And you look around.

and there are also those cracks all over the ground in this city. Not as if like the city is in like a state of disrepair. It is almost like they were plotted out to be all around here. And that voice is speaking to everyone in this city. And you feel like you are in immense danger, the likes of which like you have never imagined before, as Phineas. Phineas, I can feel what you felt and I know that you were scared and you are scared now and there's some things that is stopping you from remembering more, but there are people in danger.

And you are partly to blame for this. You can act now to save them and to fix whatever it is that you have done and to fight whoever it is who hurt you, but you have to push through. You're in that building now. You're in that huge building now, and you're alone. And you pass through a door, and the doors in here are these weird, ovular, like, passageways. And inside of one of these doors is a circular room, and all around it are these two. that are like three feet in diameter stretching from the floor to the ceiling. And when you look inside those tubes, you see familiar faces.

And Phineas remembers that they are the vanguard who disappeared from the city on the coast in the previous months before this expedition. And he walks up to one of the tanks, and as he looks up into it, his memory, cuts to black and the connection is broken. Why did you stop? The light is dim for a while

and Amper Sand 5 looks down into the lantern and says Phineas, are you Phineas, are you okay? And after a few sort of uncomfortable moments, the light flicks on again in Phineas.

Yeah, Yeah. That's where it stops, he says. That's where my memory stops. But where does it start, Phineas? I need to rest, he says. No, we have to fix this. You and those that you began this with are hurting people now, and you need to fix it. I don't know what you think I've done, but I did not come and poison the entire city. From what I understand through the grapevine, that was you guys. Let me ask you this, Phineas, years ago, you found these, the phytoplankton, you put them in the filtration system,

and then you stopped worrying about it. You didn't think we don't have a way to get more of these phytoplankton. we should have a fucking plan to be? I'm, I'm, I'm, this was a mistake, he says. And Ampersan picks him up and walks out of the room. I guess that makes me the good cop. You're in a theater, the lights go down. You're about to get swept up by the characters and all their little details and interpersonal dramas.

You look at them and think, that person is so obviously in love with their best friends. Wait, am I in love with my best friend? That character's mom is so overbearing. Why doesn't she just stand up to her? Oh, God, do I need to stand up to my own mother? If you've ever recognized yourself in a movie, then join me, Jordan Crouchiola, for the podcast, Feeling Seen. We've talked to author Susan Orlean on realizing her own marriage was falling apart after watching adaptation, an adaptation of her own work, and comedian Hari Kondobolu on why Harold and Kumar was a

depressingly important movie for Southeast Asians. So join me every Thursday for the first. Feeling Scene Podcast here on Maximum Fun. I'm Lisa Hannawalt. And I'm Emily Heller. Nine years ago, we started a podcast to try and learn something new every episode. Things have gone a little off the rails since then. Tune in to hear about.

Low-stakes neighborhood drama. Gardening. The sordid, nasty underbelly of the horse girl lifestyle. Hot sauce. Addiction to TV and sweaty takes on celebrity culture. And the weirdest, grossest stuff you can find on Wikipedia.org. We'll read all of it, no matter how gross. There's something for everyone on our podcast, Baby Geniuses.

Hosted by us to horny adult idiots. Hang out with us as we try and fail to retain any knowledge at all. Every other week on Maximum Fun. Dr. Shack walks back into the room looking very nervous and he shuts the door behind him and he says, look, I don't know what you think you thought you saw, but I didn't do, I didn't do any of that. Stuff. Dr. Shack. Yeah.

There is a magical illness giving people fish fins. Oh, really? You're telling me the doctor... I don't give two shits about you taking some drugs in college. He sighs and he says, Look, I only know this because I know people who did it. But when condensed down, enough, when condensed down enough, Grotto can produce a sort of hallucinogenic effect that can

send you on a, they called it memory lane. So when you were talking about all the stuff with the memories, it made me think about that. And I'm so straight edge now and would definitely lose my license if people knew that that was a thing that I had, that I dabbled in. So that's All I have, that's all I know. That's all I have to say about it. And I'm sorry. Wait, no. Stop.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Taking a intense form of it can create a loosening effect of shared memory? Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Well, shit. But I don't party. I don't party anymore.

Ooh. Okay. Why is egg on your face, huh? Thank you, Amber. Yes. Where do we get Ciscarato? Oh, way. Whoa.

Hell yeah. What? Now, man. What's up? Yeah. What does it matter? You're talking to the wrong puffer fish, man. Why?

It is a drug and you are a doctor and... Yeah. Not that kind of doctor. You'll have to pound the paper. So they say, Oh, there's, we don't know. We don't need to pound the pavement. I know a guy.

I'm not talking about just your everyday snickle fritz. I'm talking about incredibly, like, chemist level stuff. We need, if we need, cronco. It's not. We need chib-chab. Stink crystals, what do I need? Oh, God. Please let him keep going.

More. What do you need? What do you need? You need gribib? Not trimble. Do you need beef gravy? Not tremble flex. You need trunk garlic?

Oh, trunk garlic. You're going to get all of us busted big time. I know a guy. I got a truck garlic guy. Is it cut with skunk nuts? Got a laser train guy. I got whatever. I know I'm not big into.

Different drugs I know about. You guys haven't seen things. I've seen you don't understand. You lived in like a, some sort of religious nursery of your whole life. Yes. And I've seen some things, all right?

I know, I know people that got access to whatever kind of drugs you need. Is the idea that the three of us take drugs and then share memories with Phineas? It sounds like we would take this drug. and more or less from our perspective be in the memory? It's, it's, it's, it's very, this is a dangerous thing that you are, are talking about. It's not a, it's not so much a recreational thing as much as it is a, I, I, experimental thing.

Yes. Oh, yeah, I wouldn't do it. Oh, God. No, I've seen some people get pretty, pretty cranko on that stuff. Now, doctor, here's what I don't understand. My friend Zooks here did a mind-meled thing, and this did not work. I did like a magic interrogation, and this did not work. So how is this grotto any different from this?

When you do those things, and I have a faint understanding of how all of that magic stuff works, you are talking to the mind of the person that you are attempting to scan. But doing that isn't enough to reawaken these dead parts of their psyche. You need something a little stronger than that, something that can actually readjust. just how they conjure up their memories to begin with. All right. So good luck. Please leave me out of this.

Your old buddy Dr. Shack didn't say nothing. And then he backs out of the room. He slowly backs out of the room. All right, Dan, Bear, who do we need to talk to? You're not going to like it. Oh, don't say Uncle Joshy. No, no, no, Uncle Joshy doesn't do any of this stuff. He actually won't even let anybody deal.

We got to go see Shret. Who? Shrek? Who? No, Shret. Who Shret? Come on. I'll show you.

But listen. You're going to need to talk to her, okay? Okay. And don't mention you know. me okay okay can i mention normals pile this is very important and contractually out of okay hey where does shrette live what i don't know it's your world you tell me what's worse than joshy's knuckle joshy's toe knuckle um why don't you why don't i only control amber i'm not in control of shret that's griffin's okay look into amber's memories and tell me how

she knows Shret. Are you sure? Because once I say it, it's permanent, and you're handing me a lot of power. Yeah, that's fine. Because if you're letting me say it, then I get, because I know, I mean, I feel like this is one, this is like, I've always.

Right. This is the Taz character Rule of Three's that is manifesting in a helpful way for the first time, where anything you can tell me just as a foothold for Shret would be, Shrette was Amber's next-door neighbor and they went to school together,

topside. Okay. Up in the, in the, and they, they were, you know, they went to school together.

They were friends for a long time. And then Shrette decided that she wanted to live on her own and be her own woman. So she, uh, was as sort of like, uh,

for a while, she was just sort of like a mercenary. sort of like doing whatever needed done. And then she got into dealing. And she only deals like, she tries to avoid stuff that's really dangerous. She deals like recreational stuff mainly, tries to keep a very clean organization. But that she and Amber have a troubled past, which of course will be revealed at a later date. I know it like kind of the back of my hand.

but that's a that's the story with uh with shret and she is very hard to find she doesn't like to be found um but she does know where to get whatever whatever you need does amber know where to find shrette yes okay um i can tell you i could tell you where i think it is where a lot of people who don't want to be found like to go okay And I'm just going to spit this out because it seems like a cool idea to me. And you like, you let me know. An area called the marsh. Okay.

That is an artificial wetland. So, like, if you are, like, it's a place where, like, water and aquatic life where you don't have to go out into the ship, sort of, like, a reservoir that houses, like, plant life and stuff like that. and it's on the uh there there's some patches of like dry ground where people have set up shops or whatever yeah but it's a large large indoor wetland that that's definitely up in the gunnell like that top top surface level sort of industrial harvesting area oh yeah and it's like a big chunk of it right because it's an artificial biome essentially uh that is so profoundly different from the rest of the city, just by nature of it being its own kind of, its own biodome. And it's so humid, like even more than the city, which is already, you know, it's an underwater city.

It's got moisture. Here, just by nature of what they have set up, it is sticky when you all walk into the marsh. and I think there's just narrow wooden walkways that go all over it. And, you know, you would normally, you would need a map in order to navigate something like this. But this, because you know Shret, you know exactly sort of which of these pathways, how to sort of circumnavigate this maze between these little, you know, elevated shacks that some people are living. sorry, S-H-A-C-K. Oh, thank you. These elevated Dr. Shacks that everybody's living in. Where she makes her home is actually a boat in, you know, a particularly aquatic part of the wetlands.

This is perfect, by the way, because I don't know if you guys remember or not, but Grotto is a byproduct of, like, the drying, the dehydrating of the kelp. So the fact that it's, like, coming from. from the wetlands, like, marsh and foliage and stuff is perfect. Yeah, it's, yeah, it's, uh, I don't know that, like, kelp production is what is happening here, as much as it is, like, you know,

fish and, even bugs. I think there's a lot of sort of, like, you know, raising bugs here and harvesting them in huge numbers for their incredible proteins. But this boat is like a, um,

like a ship restaurant. that does a lot of sort of like low country boil, essentially. Nice. And she is the proprietor of this very wide but shallow sort of skiff. And that's what it's called. It's Shretz skiff. No, let's just call it the skiff. Because otherwise that's the most phonetically unpleasant sort of arrangement of words.

Shretz Swamp. Are you going inside? Amber. Here's what I think it would be the most fun. I would like to go but like in incognito like separately from them

maybe just kind of slip in so I can keep an eye on things without sort of announcing my presence. Okay. Did we keep the 3D vape suit projection things that went around our neck? No. Those definitely would not be functional here

here anymore. I mean you have your actual vapor suits, but those only work when you're actually submerged in ethersea water. Sorry, Amber, you are hiding your appearance in some way? Yes. I, you know, I'm wearing like, uh, let's see if I got anything in my inventory. Disguise, disguise, disguise, disguise. Um, I actually don't have a disguise kit.

You can borrow my jacket. Oh, yeah, I'll wear his jacket. Okay. For a moment, you are a proud brand ambassador for Nermel's Pile. Griffin, I think you'll find that the brand is on my vest, but I also am probably going to look pretty different from the last time that. That is fair, yes. Big fish eyes. That's right, Dad.

Yes, that is what I was alluding to with my much more subtle way. I am here to state the obvious, son. And I actually do have a disguise kid as a bard slash actor. So I'm going to give you, I don't know, fun, fake black eye. maybe a smoky eyebrow. Love that. Maybe a hat. Maybe a hat.

Just dress up like a construction worker. Yeah. Do you want to be a construction worker? Do you want to be a biker? What do you want to be? Yeah, like a cool biker. Okay, great. Yeah, actually, when you walk in here,

it kind of does have biker bar vibes. There are a bunch of personal hovercrafts parked in front that people ride around on the wetland. for fun and for work that are sort of just like two pads instead of wheels that let them sort of hover about. All right, you all walk in and it is pretty quiet in here. I would say it is equivalent to the cloaca. I'll be it like even grungier. There's in fact, there's just one table that has people sitting at it, but it's like a big table. with like eight, you know, big, big burly folks all sitting around a big pile of, you know,

crawfish and kelp and sea corn and all kinds of stuff, just having themselves a blast. And as you walk in, there is a chef. It is a man who is, let me think, what's he got going on? He's Favro-esque, maybe? No, he's not Favro-esque. He's got black and blue streaks, almost like a blue tang that are just sort of sweep over his cheeks and up to his forehead.

That is his feature. And he looks up at you and says, yeah, can I help y'all? You want to table? Will you guys let me take the leave on this? I have an IP. What? Okay, but my whole thing is like talking people. I know.

Yeah, but like, you know, and I just try to soften them. Brian are stretch his wings a little bit. I'm just gonna soften them up a little bit. Okay. Yeah, it's just as I trained to do, but yeah, go. No, no, no. I'll be the icebreaker and you follow up.

Yeah. Trust me, I've been thinking about this. Okay, yeah. I'm here to kick ass and suck heads, and I'm all out of crawfish. I am not the way of. him. Bye and Travis.

No. He had me on the kick-ass part. Come on. It's a restaurant. He wants to eat food. He just says this. And kick-ass. I had the kick-ass part.

This chef looks at you and says, uh, you fancy yourself a, uh, uh, a craw dad blaster. That's what I meant by suck the heads. I'm not with anyone here. You're not ready. Yeah. You're not ready for the spice of these bad puppies. I correct you, my et tufe making friend. All right.

I mean, this here is a hard joint for hard folks after a long day, emarsion it, and I don't think you've got what it takes. What if I were to B-Y-O-C? What? And we don't really want. And he extends his hand and he uses mage hand and crawfish. Are these real crawfish that come out of his body? This is the implication.

Like, oh, maniacs, I've brought my own food to the restaurant. The implications are. You should see me at a steakhouse. Okay. As I produce a live cow from my buttocks. I produce a bunch of crawfish and their legs. Now, now just, dad, just to clarify, what are you trying to prove? Do you guys remember that time that I went to Ruth Chris Steakhouse and I brought my own cow?

And I was like, I'm going to butcher this guy right in front of you. To show you how hard I am. He says, uh, we usually don't encourage people to bring outside food into, how, how did you do that? I have skills. Yeah, okay. How about this? I'm diversified. I've diversified my holdings.

He sweeps. Can you cook them or not? Are you afraid? In one motion, he sweeps them into a pan that he smashes down onto the stove top and like tilts it so that the whole pan goes up in flames. And he squirts this huge bottle of like bright pink liquid into it and stirs it around and then slaps it. I feel like Xer should have to take damage. Slaps it down in front of you. No, he is going to roll a con...

If you want to eat this, you're going to roll a Constitution saving throw. You've come into this band's place of business and challenged him, so he is going to make you eat his spicy crawfish, and we'll see how you handle that. Just like in man-eat-world. Okay. No, no, like that at all. That would be a five. What?

Five. I would also say, Dad, I don't know the last time you watched a competitive eating show, rarely does the host walk in and say like, hey, fuck Ed, you eat some spicy food. You piece of shit. Cook this hot and let me eat it. I brought my own crawfish in. What are you going to do about it?

I'm challenging them to win eat off. Okay. You put the crawfish. But it's not, it's usually an established eating competition, Dad. It's not a lone man charging into it. He's like, I'm starting and eating I brought my own food

and I want you to make it I've got underwriters I've got suppliers how many hot dogs can you make this is a reverse eating challenge how fast can you make the food I want to eat and here's the rules

if I finish all this food I brought it did I get it for free and a bull cat you brought it in and I'm going to put my own picture on the wall I brought it

Don't worry. I printed it off at home. I'm a little light on the yellow, so it's kind of weird looking. You're going to take... You're going to take 11 points of fire damage. 11 points of fire damage. And like the coral inside of you is like dying.

And you can feel that it's almost like they are saying like, why did you do this, Zooks? This, it sucks so bad in here. You hear other members of your swarm like, what the fuck? You just pulled these dudes out of here and then made them spicy and dead and then you put them back in here

and now they're killing us. How could you do this to them? I loved Bruce. I think if you are going to try and keep like not let on how bad this sucks shit for you right now, now. Yeah, I am.

Okay, I want you to make a, make a performance check of you performing to pretend like you are not, your soul has not just been immolated. All right. Performance check indeed. There it is. And that would be a nine. It's like a cartoon wolf has just eaten dynamite.

Only there's so many holes in. in Zooks for like steam to be coming out of. And you can tell he is like trying to hold it together, but you can also tell that this is a dying person who is in a tremendous amount of pain. Zooks, have you softened him up now? May I try? They're soft.

They're really, really soft. They feel so sorry for me. Excuse me, everyone. We are so sorry to interrupt. your meal and your respite from work, but we are looking for stret. Is there any milk? Can I have a glass of milk? Shret.

There's a voice from across the bar. Shred's not real. It's just the name. Okay. We are looking for Shret. Where is she? Hell him. Shred's not real.

It's just the name. Where is that voice coming from? Is it coming from Amber? Yeah. Okay. Okay. We are looking for shred. Where is shred?

You hear the sound of chairs, scooting backward as the chef looks across the restaurant at that table full of people. Wait, Dad, are you okay? Restroom! Yeah. Oh, okay, yeah.

It's infiction. Gastro-testinal distress. On this show, you really can't be. Yeah, you can't be too. Sure. In the dinar has to shit? Oh, hasn't you? There's a whole for.

everything, Travis. No, not for that. As well, establish you just mush food against your face. What are you shitting? I don't want to talk about this. You see... EtherC is going to become

subtitled discussing how different things poop. Yeah. At that big table where a bunch of folks were working, you see a few of them stand up and just kind of stand behind their chairs, just watching the

Laurel and Hardy routine happening across the room. And that chef looks at the table full of people and then looks back at Ud.Vo and says, nobody here by that name friend. I'm afraid you might be in the wrong place of business. I understand. I was trying to be polite and ask a very nice thing. And so I will ask one more time.

We need to speak with Shret and it is time sensitive. Yeah, like I said, pal, I don't know anybody like that. Cast thunder clap. Whoa. What? Create a burst of thunderous sound that can be heard up to 100 feet away.

Each creature within range other than myself has to make a Constitution saving throw. All right. That includes Amber and Zooks. Yep. Mm-hmm. What's the range? Oh, nine.

Thirteen. What is your spell save, Traff? And remember, add one. It is 14. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, great. Great, too.

The chef saves. Plus, Zooks almost poops himself. Okay. Hmm. The chef saves. What is the, what is the effect on a save? Uh, then nothing. Nothing.

Um. But I mean, there's still a big thunderous burst of sound. Okay. The three people who are sitting at this big table who stood up do not save. Roll damage. To your friends and the people across the room. One plus one, two. It's just two guys.

That could have been much worse. Yeah. It's pretty bad still. Two point from a... From a sort of on the principle of the thing. Yeah. When the three people across the bar dropped down to... their knees, the other people who are sitting at that table stand up. And the chef reaches down

and grabs a huge butcher knife and grabs that bottle of pink, spicy fluid that was sitting on the cooktop just a moment ago. And he says, so you want to get spicy, huh? And he sprays the knife with this pink bottle and all of a sudden his butcher's knife catches on fire and he says, let's make it spicy. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned, audience supported.