The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Ethersea - Episode 24

Episode Date: January 20, 2022

Content warning: this episode contains themes involving highly contagious diseases Cambria's Call: Part Three A completely unnecessary bar fight has broken out at an otherwise quiet marshland bar and grill. As Devo and Zoox clean up their mess, Amber chases down a former friend-turned-smuggler.Additional music in this episode: “Palaver” by ROZKOL https://rozkol.bandcamp.com/; "Eutrophic" by Mystery Mammal https://soundcloud.com/mysterymammal; and "Fearweaver" by Three Chain Links https://soundcloud.com/beardmont/.  Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Previously, on the Adventure Zone, Ethersea, I want to go with you all to figure this out. When condensed down enough, Grotto can produce a sort of hallucinogenic effect of shared memory? We don't need to pound the pavement I know a guy. We got to go see Shred. You're going to need to talk to her, okay? Okay. And don't mention you know me. Okay.

she doesn't like to be found. Where she makes her home is actually a boat, like a ship restaurant. I would like to go, but like in incognito. Yeah, can I, um, can I help y'all? I'm here to kick ass and suckheads and I'm all out of crawfish. I am not with him. We are looking for Shrette. Where is she?

Nobody here by that name friend. I'm afraid you might be in the first. wrong place of business. The chef reaches down and grabs a huge butcher knife. And he says, you want to get spicy, huh? And all of a sudden, his butcher's knife catches on fire. And he says, let's make it spicy. So when we last left off, if I remember correctly,

Devo started a bar fight on accident? Oh, it wasn't an accident? Was it really? A thunderous explosion that knocked down. many people in the room. Yeah, go ahead and roll initiative. Now, hold on. Now, you say that like that automatic, I stand by that that could have gone either way, that that could have been like, oh, this guy means serious business. Or it could have mean like, let's pound this little torp into a pulp. It could have gone either way. You're

right. You're right, Trave. Man, you sound like me. This time it did go just the one way. Okay, I got a nine. Nice. 20. Dirty 20. Wow. Oh, cool. It automatically fills in it. So I'm using the encounter builder in D&D Beyond, and it automatically fills in all your initiative. Nice. Which is very cool. Amber? Amber has got a eight.

Eight, okay. Let me paint the scene a little bit because I didn't give like a very like descriptive. Didn't know that it would be a big fight in here. Yeah, exactly, right? So you all are in front of what is essentially like a bar that this chef was cooking behind. It's close-ish to the entrance to this establishment. And across the room there was a large table with just some workers who are on their lunch break up here in the marsh. You have knocked down some of them.

Devo, the ones that you knock down don't appear to be getting up. But there are five who have stood from the table and are now basically running at you all, you know, with some clubs and bottle. in hand. There is the chef, of course, who has a large flaming butcher's knife and a bottle of some sort of flammable liquid that is also a sort of flavor element for his cooking. So that table is sort of across the room. There is a set of stairs that go up above the bar to like a loft, a closed off loft area with doors at the top of these two sets of stairs. And you cannot see up into that chamber. And then of Of course, like outside the building, you have all of those, like, personal hovercraft things that these workers have sort of docked outside.

And this bar also opens up just to open marsh. Like, it is on a pier that is, you know, there's water and swampy stuff everywhere. And so how many combatants total? The chef and five customers here who are running right at you. Zooks, you're up. Zooks cast Summon Beast, waves his hands, and from one of his,

it has like a mage hand manifestation, however that is, and it coalesces between him and the five oncomers. Is that? Sure. And it's a huge elephant seal. It was like the size of a great big grizzly bear, and they've got these huge tusks, and they're extremely carnivorous. And he calls him Leon. And Leon is there between them and the five attackers.

Okay. So this is a water-type bestial spirit, I'm imagining. Yes. Well, a whale seal who also can move on the ground. Okay, land and water beasts have the sort of same stat block here. Right. Wow, this is a pretty dope spell. So this beast will take its turn immediately after your turn.

Okay. Which I guess that was your action. Do you have any bonus action that you want to do or move action or anything along those lines? I think just ready to crossbow? I think he readies his crossbow ready for action. I think readying an action is an action. Okay. Bonus actions.

I don't know if you have any other spells that count as bonus actions or, you know. Not that I'm ready to use now. Oh, I know. Looks like Hale of Thorns is a bonus action? Yeah, that's wild. I think, yeah, we should keep that in mind because you've only ever used that as an action action. Okay. Well, then, immediately after up, after you is Leon.

So what's Leon going to do? If you, just looking at his stat block here, he has one ability called Pack Tactics, which means he has advantage on an attack roll against a feature. If one of the beast allies is within five feet of the creature and the ally is incapacitated, which like right now you all were right up against the bar, so that would count for the chef. And it can make a number of attacks equal to this half the spells level rounded down. And you're casting this as a second level spell, so it's just one attack. Yeah, I think he would

I don't think he wants to get to killing right away. Yeah. But I think he would use his tail and swat at whichever one of the five oncomers is closest. Okay, you could do that. That's not going to give you advantage, but you can definitely get at one of these guys. So I guess that would be mall, right?

Yes. So your... It's your spell attack modifier, to hit, so plus four to the attack. Okay. And I'm rolling. So he rolls the D20. Everybody gets to

see, my beautiful dye. It's an eight. An eight plus four? Or an eight total? Eight plus four would be 12. Uh, let me look at the counterbuilder.

That just hits it. Yeah. Okay. So roll 1D8, and then that's going to be plus six. six piercing damage. And that is a... It's a two plus six, so that's eight, right? Yeah, I mean, he jumps up and chomps down into one of these oncoming sort of ruffians, and they like, they collapse down to their knees and are hurting in a major way.

Next up in the order is the chef. This chef is going to come after you, Devo, because you're the one who just started this ruckus. He has this big butcher's knife that is already wreathed in flames, and he is going to attack you with the butcher's knife twice. So the first attack is a crit. Oh, no. A critical hit, unfortunately. So that hit is going to do five points. plus three, eight slashing damage, plus an extra two of flaming damage.

So take 10 points of damage. And he is going to use his move action to sort of like come out from behind the bar to start moving towards you all. Okay, next up in the order is the bandits. The one that got bit by Leon is going to swing back at Leon as he. is one of his buddies to try and get him out of his clutches. Leon has AC, yes? Yes. Leon's armor class is 11 plus the level of the spell, so 13 armor class.

So the first guy who got bit misses terribly. The second guy is going to try and help out his buddy. That is 14. That does hit. So Leon is going to take three points of. clubbing damage. It looks like Leon starts with... You clubbed a seal, Griffin?

Yeah, that does not do much to Leon. Leon has 30 HP, so... Yeah, barely does anything. If you can keep track of that, that's great. I am. I am. The other three... You got a hit for how many? Three points of damage.

The other three are going to come after... Well, they have no reason to go after Amber. So they are also going to come after you, Devo. So I'm just going to make three attack rolls against you. Actually, two of them come at you with clubs. That is a 17 versus AC. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

And an 11 versus AC. The 11 misses. Okay. So the one that did hit you is also going to hit you for three damage. And the last of these customers here pulls out a crossbow, a small crossbow, and fires it at you. and got a 12 versus AC. And misses. Okay.

It just barely goes past him and explodes a bottle of booze that was behind the bar that shatters, upsetting the chef terribly. Devo, you're up now. Devo is going to take a breath and raise his hands in a very, like, see my hands around two way, and say, I am sorry. I have clearly overplayed this And is anyone here old enough to remember When Zasalo first affected the colony on the shore? I think you're going to have to roll to see if these dudes even pay attention to you. Okay.

So why don't you roll a persuasion check? That is an 18 plus 9, a 27. Okay. I'll say that the two guys who just came after you and attacked you kind of stop and look at you curiously. I think that's the only people who are, who's going to buy into what you're saying right now. You two, the Salo is back, as you can see, and Devo gestures towards the, the fins on his neck now. They gesture to their, to their own piecinge features. Like one of them has barbels and the other one has fins that kind of go out past their ears.

So please, please forgive me, but understand, though. It is a panic and fear and the fear which I am operating under. Time is of the essence and without Shret's help. People might die. The only way we can fix is this is with Shretz help. So I acted rashly, clearly, but we need Shred for this. Hmm. I don't think they like it when they hear you talk about Shret,

but you have definitely caught them off guard. I think they're going to look at each other and, like, talk with very hushed and very concerned tones, and they are going to step back from the action. They're going to back away as they have this private conversation. Okay, Deva's going to move. Okay. He's going to back towards where Amber is. Okay.

Amber, dude. I'm in the huddle. What? I'm over with them. Yeah. What? Yeah. He's pretending to be one of them.

Yeah, I'm just listening. Okay. What are they saying? The two guys who just backed up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm with them. Okay, well, one of them is like, yeah, man. I mean, is this guy telling truth?

Because I've seen pretty persuasive. And the other one's like, yeah, maybe, but if we tell him, like, where Shred is, she's going to be so angry. She's going to beat our butts, dude. Yeah, I guess you got a point there, but, like, I don't know. I don't want the world to end. Yeah, man, me neither, but I also don't want my butt to get beat by Shret. They're just really debating this, this, they are really torn between getting Shret and not one.

to get chastised by Shret, and it has paralyzed them into inaction. Dio is also going to cast cure wounds on himself. Probably a good idea. Yeah, level one there. We're going to get, oh, great, a two plus a three. It's five more. Could have been a lot better, it seems. Could have been a lot better.

Okay. We are up to Amber now. I still am going to back away, though. Yeah, yeah, sure. The two guys who were, like, engaged in a melee with you are the ones who scooted, so there's no attack of opportunity here. I'm just going to hold my turn. You're going to delay your turn until you're ready to go?

Thank you, yes. Okay, cool. I'm sure there's a way to figure that out in this encounter builder. How about this? In your patience, you have a beat here. I want you to roll a perception check for me. Okay. Me?

Yeah. I got a 22. Wowsers, Bowser's. you hear and only you hear the sound of movement up in the loft above you. Okay, what do I see? You can't see anything from the ground. Typical. Typical.

With a 22? I just hear a sound? 22 still doesn't make your vision bend around corners. Walls, right? That's a 32 at least. Do you still want to delay your action? Is there a visibility? to the upstairs or is it closed off?

No, no, it's totally closed off. It's not like a loft overlooking the room. It is like a, you know, like a foreman's office at a factory or something like that. Are there stairs up to it somewhere? There are stairs up to it. It would be a pretty shitty loft if there was.

I mean, like, in this room or any... This is my lofted is also a prison. We can never bother Larry when he was. There were stairs at some point, but they weren't well-built. The loft. of a montalado. Mother Gothel locked me up here because it's my long, beautiful hair.

All right, we've all had our turn to do one of them. Right. Let's move on. Okay. Zooks, you're next up. Let me know, uh, juice, when you want to hop back in. Thanks. I don't know how to play yet, so I'm kind of waiting to see the way the wind blows.

I got you. Okay. Which one of these, uh, hurt, uh, seal whale, Leon? Leon. Whaleon? Whaleon. The one who was trying to rescue his buddy who got chomped and is looking in bad shape. Okay, I kneecap.

Wow. I kneecap the buddy in bad shape. But we're, okay. Whoa. We were just trying to de-escalate. No, you know what? This is another way to de-escalate. It's Zook's way.

All right, Zooks. Okay, so you're going to make, are you using your crossbow? I'm just going to hit it. I'm just going to. No, I don't want to. I mean, I mean, Zook is not completely oblivious to what's going on, but he's also a fighting machine. Sure. I think he kicks the guy in his kneecap.

Wow. Okay, just an unarmed melee attack then. Unarmed strike. Yep. An armed strike. Okay, go ahead and do that. That would be a 23. That's pretty good.

That's a really good role. So that's going to be just two flat damage as you kick this fellow in the knee. Oh, actually, you get two attacks now, right? Or is that Amber? Yeah, no, I get two attacks. Extra attack, yeah. You can attack twice whenever you take the attack action on your turn. Yeah, okay.

Okay, while I'm there so close, I'm going to shoot the crossbow pinning his foot to the ground. Oh, all right. Go ahead and roll that attack now. That is a 19, 11 plus 8. Yeah. You don't have to worry about damage on that one. You put an arrow through this dude's foot. And even Leon looks back at you, like, ooh.

For God. Oh, shit. Hey, Zook's got a roll. How Zook's got a roll. Yeah, the guy you just shot, like, looks down at his foot and then looks back up at you, recreating that hilarious bit from Ace Ventura, too. And then he just, like, faints and falls to the ground. because you have knocked him unconscious.

Okay. Okay. Next up in the order is the chef. The chef is going to multi-attack again. First, he's going to take another swing at you, Devo. You have upset him a great deal. I get that. Yeah, that's going to hit.

That's a 16 plus 420. Yes, this does, in fact, hit. Okay. That's going to be a nine. plus three fire damage, so 12 damage altogether. Yeah, this dude's huge. This is a big person with a flaming big butcher knife. I know.

I just don't like facing the consequences of my actions, you know? Yeah. But seeing the wanton violence on display across the room, he's going to pull out a heavy crossbow and fire a shot off at Zooks. So that's going to be a 13 versus 18? Wait, how did he hit me? I moved away, Griffin. No, Zooks.

I mean, you moved away, but this dude has a speed of 30 feet. So he just walked over. Yeah, yeah. 13 versus A.C., Zooks? I thought he was still in the kitchen. Does not hit. Zook's armor is 14. Okay, it launches into your shoulder and just like, blink right off of your coral hide.

Next up are the only two remaining bad boys now. The one who was trying to save his friend and the one with a crossbow. And I think they're both going to go after you, Zooks. So the first one just swings his club around at your face. And that's a six. That's not going to do it. The other one is going to fire a crossbow bolt at you. That's 14 versus AC.

Tie goes to the runner. Yeah. So that's going to be five points of piercing damage. This crossbow bolt does not blink right off of you. Next in the order is... Whale Leon? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get Leon.

Okay, so how many are left? How many that are actively attacking? The chef and then two of the customers. The two customers are the ones who both took shots at you. You, those two customers and Leon, are basically right next to each other. I think Wei Leon just lumbers over and lays. He's across the two of them, flattens him out. He's huge and he's bulky.

And I think he just flattens him and tries to pin him to the ground. Okay. We can do that just by using sort of both of his multi-attacks. Right? No, no, no. He only gets one attack per turn. That is like spell level rounded down. So we can attack one of these guys.

Okay. The one that's shot at him, right? Has he been shot at? I don't think so. I think the crossbow guy has only come after. Well, somebody hurt Leon. for three points of image. Yeah, it was the one who clubbed him, yeah. Okay, then he just flops over the clubbed one. Okay, well, we can use the mall stats for this. So roll a plus four,

D20. 20 to six, plus four, that's ten. That is not sufficient. This bandit ain't, ain't going to get fooled like that. He just moves out of the way as Leon tries to smash. down on him. Okay. Okay, now it's Steve's turn. I realize, I should have said this first. We want to pay Shrette money and buy something from Shrette? That tag, I'll tell you right now, that tag's not going to work.

Anytime you bring up Shrette's name, you see that it is like worsening the vibe. They're already pretty bad vibe in this room. Fine. And he's going to cast charm person on the chef. Okay. So you're going to make a wisdom saving throw. You're going to do that with disadvantage, right? Because you're in the middle combat.

So you're doing it with advantage. Wait, what? Yeah, so if you and your friends are fighting it, then the creature you're trying to charm has advantage. Oh, okay. Well, then I will roll the first. There's one thing I know. Yeah.

Just trying to charm people when you realize you fucked up by fighting. Yeah. The first role is a 14. That matches. The next role is a 15. Okay. Shit. The chef realizes what you just did to him and says like,

man, you don't know when to stop, do you? I'm going to make a boat for the stairs. You're going to take an attack of opportunity. He just attacked you, so he is in, he is in melee range. Okay. Yeah. Is that okay? Yes. Okay.

That's a critical failure. That's the one. So that's not going to happen. But he looks so stupid. He does a pretty stupid. I'm good. I got you. He's like, farted and fell out.

Yeah. Okay. So you're doing what now? I'm running for the stairs to upstairs. To the upstairs? Okay. You managed to get up to the door of, of what? of these sets of stairs.

It is locked. And there... I'm going to grab him and pull him down. Oh. Yeah. Okay, well, when, okay, Devo, when Amber grabs you, what is your...

What is your response? You're taking me down to the ground? Yeah. I didn't realize that was the next thing I was saying, Griffin, I would have stopped him as he approached the stairs. I don't want to deal with, like, trying to pull him down off the staircase.

Okay, well, don't you just talk to him as a free action then as he's I don't want to talk to him I want to tackle him oh like you're on their side still okay um well I Travis and confused by this so I would love to say that diva would go with it and not challenge it but I think he's in fight or flight yeah and I think if someone tries to tackle him it's a challenge he's gonna be challenged we're playing fast and loose a little bit because technically you delayed your turn you didn't ready in action so um but yeah I I know what you're saying, but he's not taking an action. Well, I guess he is. Okay, I'll say this. He gets to the top of the stairs, but you can't grab him until it is your turn. Okay. So, yeah, Deva, you get up there.

The door is locked, and there's a small window looking into the room, but it's like frosted glass. So you can't make out anything except there's like a shadow moving in there. Amber, are you doing it now? yeah, I'll yank him. How high are the stairs? Like, how high up is he? I mean, it's like 10 feet up. You can't grab him from the ground.

I don't necessarily want to risk, like, falling downstairs. Although I guess it's Dungeons and Dragons not a life alert commercial. We probably pull through somehow. Has anybody noticed me? Like, I had a 22 perception. Yeah. Yeah, what I will give you for being inactive in this battle is like nobody's clocked you. You're just some, you know, rando patron who is...

I'm gonna, you know what? I'm gonna let him play it out. Okay. So you're going to continue to not act. I would... So you all know, I figured Shrette would fucking kill him. And I don't want, I didn't want him to die. So I was trying to prevent him.

But now he's up the stairs. I don't know. We'll see how it goes. A Zook's cast web. Conjuring a thick, a massive thick, sticky webbing. And it's all, and I cast it. Sticky blue foe. And it's all around, I cast it on the chef.

Okay. And it kind of anchors him to the bar and the wall behind him. Okay. And as a bonus action, let me think. That's that. Okay. and then casts, I'm the only one fighting, cast a hail of thorns on the dude that still,

there's two guys still fighting or one? There is, there are two of the customers. Okay. He shoots at one of them with his crossbow and casts hail of thorns. Okay. So you need to hit him with a... Oh, actually, you can't do this, because you already used Webb, which is an action.

This Hail of Thorns takes place after you have already hit with a ranged weapon. I see. So when it says bonus action, it's not... It means... No, it is a bonus action. It's just what you... You have to take it immediately after a range tank.

It's got to be trained to. Right, exactly. Well, with two attacks... Well, Webb wasn't an attack. That was a spell. Okay. If you want to undo web, we can... No, I don't.

I do not want to undo web. Okay. Then I'm just going to move into position a little closer to the two guys still coming. Yeah, I mean, you're still right there. You and the seal are just like having your own little Helms deep situation right in the middle of this bar and grill. Okay. So it is the chef's turn. starting his true. No, it's Whale Leone.

Oh, it's the Whale, sir. Okay, sorry. Yes, go ahead, whale. Go for whale. Whale, Leon, um, what have I not had him do yet? Um, make him dance. Not the most sort of, it would be so cute, wouldn't he?

Yeah. Balance the ball. He, uh, no, I think he just, uh, attacks. He just bites. He just bites one of those guys. I mean, I tried using his tail, and that didn't seem to go well. Okay, there's club guy and there's crossbow guy. Oh, well, he's going to attack crossbow guy. Okay. So that's, um, D20. And that is a, an eight plus you said four? Yes, that hits.

Okay. You also have advantage, actually, because you are within five feet of him. So if you want to try it. Oh, then try it again? Yeah, sure. 12 plus 4, 16. Yeah, sure. All right, so that's going to be 1D8 plus 6. That D8 is a... One plus six, a seven. Yeah, I mean...

Well, we don't want to kill him. I feel terrible. Well, I... I don't feel terrible. Diva feels terrible. You've knocked a few people unconscious. Okay, the crossbow guy is looking pretty bad. He, like, pulled away after getting, you know, mauled by...

by Leon, but he is in rough shape. Okay, next up is the chef. And because the chef starts his turn inside of the web, yes. He has to make... You didn't let me have that one. He has to make a dexterity saving throw. Because the web is flammable. Oh, yes, that is also...

We are going to rectify that immediately after. So, no, you know what? I don't think it... I don't even think the web would have a chance to restrain this guy. I think this guy's got a flaming sword. The webs are flammable. And the flame burns away the web in one round dealing 2D4 fire damage to any creature

that starts its turn into fire. I think that happens immediately. So can you roll 2D4 damage? And the chef is just going to take it outright. Okay. A 3 and a 1, that's 4. Okay. He takes four points of fire damage.

He mostly just kind of looks annoyed. That is 8. 14 plus 1, 15. And I think he has to beat your spell save, which is 12. So he does save. He's not entangled.

He is burned. We'll say this guy's in like rage mode. I don't think the chef is seeing straight. So like being webbed and then set on fire, I think presents a more clear and present danger than this, this silver-tongued beauty who keeps trying and failing to convince everybody to stop fighting. So he is going to come for you. now Zooks.

And when he gets right up to you, he's going to take two swings of his long sword at him. Okay. The first one is 13 versus AC. Does not hit. The second one is a 21 versus AC. That hits. That's going to be nine points of slashing damage plus four points of fire damage. So 13 points of damage total.

Okay, next in the order Dare I say it, things are getting a little dicey. All right, sure. Okay, the crossbow one is going to take a step back and fire off at Leon just because he knows if he doesn't kill this thing, it's going to kill him. Ten versus AC does not cut it. The other customer is going to swing their club at you, Zooks.

That is a crit. That is a natural 20. So he's going to hit you for six plus one. Seven points of bludgeoning damage. Oh, I'm sorry, no, no, no. It's seven plus two, nine points of bludgeon damage. And that brings us back to Devo. All right, so Devo is going to pound, knock on the door.

Okay. Raise his voice and say, I am sorry if you're there. If you can hear me, I am sorry. Please, forgive me time is of the essence. we need you, you without you we will not be able to help. We need

you. We have money. We can pay you. We need help. Please forgive me. I have shown you great disrespect and I understand this and I acted without sinking and I know that this is unforgivable, but please, please,

please, please, please, I am begging you. As you are speaking through the frosted glass window, you realize that at some point in the last six seconds, you don't see that shadow in there anymore. And you can actually tell just from where you are standing that the room that you are now in front of is now empty.

Devo, he is going to... You know what? He's pretty angry. That didn't work. It took a lot out of him to apologize so much bag a little bit. He is going to cast... I'm going to try something, Griffin. Use the spell and you tell me

if you will let me do it. Sure, sure. I'm going to use glyph of warding. Whoa. On the door and set it to go off on a command word. Okay.

And it will have 5D8 explosive damage. This is a very complicated spell. Hmm. Okay. You, okay, so you're using explosive runes, and what is the trigger?

Command word. All right, yeah, I'll let you do that, sure. And he's going to back down the stairs. Okay. And he's going to say, I said, please. And on please, it explodes. Yeah.

When you do that, the door is just blown off its hinges. I'm not going to make you roll damage. 5D.A. is almost certainly enough to destroy a door. And it just blows backwards into this office. I'm going to say you have enough movement left to go see what's happening. Okay. This room is, it is an office and there's a small desk at the back of the room. But the sort of like key feature in here are these like two long shelves at the back of the room just like lined with tone wheels.

And each one has like little labels that say words that you divo would like do not understand. They are, you can tell they're like proper nouns. maybe the names of like places that these tone wheels reach out to. But otherwise, like, this room is pretty empty. There's some, like, pretty simple weaponry kind of, like, around the room, just kind of like a bugout bag situation. And they are mostly, like, staves, like brass knuckles. And you can tell from, like, the area where all this is kept that some of them have been,

have been picked up lately. And the other thing that you notice is that the window overlooking the marsh outside is open. And you see a large woman with a wide-brimmed hat on, with a big staff over her shoulder, and she is boarding one of those personal hovercrafts. and starting to rev the engine. Shret, please, wait. I don't think she can hear you over the engine. Okay, then.

Okay. So she can't hear me. Okay. I got it. Fuck. I see that happening, right? Yeah, I'm at the time of this there. Yes, Deva, did you have a bonus action or anything?

No. I think I've used my special. I used my movement. No, I'm done. Is there a window from the bar where I can see that, like, that escape happening? I think you would hear me say Shrette.

Wait. Well, no, I heard you say Shrette. Is there a window? How about through the blown open door? No, I think that... Well, no, that's upstairs, right? Oh, right. Okay. Yeah.

You can, there's a window. It doesn't give you necessarily line of sight on Shret, but you can hear, you heard what Devo said, and you can hear the revving of the hovercraft engine. Fine. I fucking jump through the window. Fuck. Okay. Make an acrobatics check.

We'll just call this your movement. Eight. Okay. I'll give you an option. You either land clumsily and are prone or you take slashing damage from the broken glass. Yeah, I'll take slashing damage. Okay. That's going to be a 1D8. There's a flat 1D8.

Let's see. That's four. You take four. You take four points of slashing damage. You jump through the window, but it's not like a clean break. And so there's some shards that, like, you cut, like your forehead on as you jump through. But now that you're on the pier, you can see about 20 feet from this hovercraft that is starting to kick up water. I need another one.

Is there another hovercraft? Courser is. There's one hovercraft? That'd be crazy. Yeah, there's another one. I'm going to grab one. Actually, you know what? There are three.

Ah, okay. No, it's interesting. Maybe you're the tiger. Maybe there's four. Look again, Griffin. Check your heart. What's your heart tell you? Check your loom, weaver.

Okay, actually, I'm reluming. There's two. One of them. Oh, the threads once again. One of them is kind of, it's just sort of a rusty brass color. It looks kind of beat up, but you can see that the keys are in the ignition. And then there's like a fancy fucking Kawasaki bright red, like super turbo, you know, hovercraft, but there doesn't appear to be any discernible, like, key anywhere that would start it up.

So wait, there's no... Okay, so what we got? A fancy one with no key, or a kind of beat-up jillopi one with a key. I got to get the jalopy. I mean, I got to... Okay. Yeah, I got to give chase. All right.

Fuck. Okay. You hop on and start up the engine. And as you start to move away from the pier, she is also starting to jet away. And you are keeping Chase about 10 feet behind her. her hovercraft. That was your action, though, right? Bording the thing and

turning the ignition and starting to pull away. I think that's... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I jumped out of window and got on a hovercraft. That's an action. Is that an action? A good turn. Yeah.

Okay. Then while the two of you, Zooks and Devo, continue to deal with the fracas inside of this bar and grill, you see Amber in pursuit. behind Shrette peeling away into the horizon out into the swan. I'm John Moe. My show Depresh Mode is all about mental health.

And this week, I talk with Amanda Knox. She spent four years in an Italian prison for a murder she didn't commit. That's a lot of trauma. And she's okay talking about it. If I touch on something that you'd rather not get into, just say so will cut the whole exchange out. But it also seems like you're pretty open about a lot of things. Yeah, yeah. I am having trouble imagining anything that you could talk to me about.

I know. I know. What are we going to throw Amanda Knox with? Depressmode with John Moe, only on Maximum Fun. For over a decade, Max FunCon has been an incredible weekend of learning, connecting, and laughing with folks in the Max Fun community. And, if all goes according to plan, the last regularly scheduled Max FunCon will take place in Lake Arrowhead from June 3rd to June 5th, 2022.

We have a very limited number of tickets remaining. To make them available to the maximum number of people, we'll be able to be able to opening our wait list for tickets on January 23rd at 5 p.m. Pacific. That'll be your chance to be first in line to purchase tickets and we'll go down the wait list until we're at capacity. More details at maxfunkcon.com and mark your calendars for Sunday, January 23rd at 5 p.m. Pacific. So we are back up to the top of the order, which is Zooks. I think through this broken window that Amber just jumped through now that in, you know, giving chase they, you can see, you can see those. those two off in the distance now. The only enemies remaining right now are the chef. One customer who has been thoroughly chomped on by Leon and one who is pretty, pretty fresh still. Okay. Zook raises up on one knee.

Neals down. I don't know if he was standing or not. No, no. He kneels down. Be weird if he just took a nice seat in the middle of the battle. He kneels down, takes a bead on the chef with his. crossbow and shoots him. Okay.

Go ahead and roll your attack roll there. That's a 10 plus 8, 18. Plus 8? Holy shit. Yeah. I guess, yeah, you're pretty good at using a crossbow. Yes, that hits. Okay.

Actually, does it? Nobody's really hit the check. Oh, yeah, that does. His AC is nothing to sneeze at, but 18 does hit it. Okay. And that does eight. Piercing damage. Okay.

You can attack twice also. Okay. Did he shoot him again? Okay. And this time it's not as good, a nine. Total? Yeah, that's a huge. Yeah. That's a big whiff.

It's a big whiff. Go Salem past his head. He got all cocky because he hit him the last time. But he casts hail of thorns. Okay. Okay, wait a minute. Hail of thorns. The next time you hit a creature with a range weapon attack before the spell in.

Okay, so we got the order of that wrong. You cast hail of thorns and then you attack. And you still could not have used it last time, but we can reccon and say you tried using Hale of Thorns. You used Hale of Thorns before you just landed at the attack, right? Right. Okay. Okay. So Hale of Thorns.

So Hale of Thorns is like automatically successful. It's just if he can get the decks save to avoid the thorn damage, yeah? Okay. So does he have to make a deck save or do I... He does. He does not, though. That's a six, which does not beat your spell casting modifier. So I roll it and that would be a...

Wow, one whole damage. Oof. Yeah, a single thorn comes out. Then hits him. He's like, now it's Leon's turn. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. You have a fourth thing you can do?

Once on each of your turns, you can cause the swarm to assist you. Okay. Gathered swarm. He takes one D.S. piercing damage. Okay. Roll that. So that would be

1D6 piercing damage. Another one. Nice job. Woo! Okay, so you shoot with a crossbow bolt bolt and he's like, ow! And you shoot another one and it goes wide

and he's like ha. And then a single thorn pops out of you and hits him. And he's like, okay. And then a single like little B comes out of you. It's one quadet because you ate the rest of them. Yeah.

One quaddad just hits him in the face. And he's like, ironic. But, ow. Okay. And at that moment, Zooks looks up at him and says, I could do a lot worse, so maybe you ought to stay in. That's a bold move after hitting him for one point of damage twice. I know.

Make a deception check, Zooks. Although, you know what? It's not a lie. It's not a lie. You could do a lot worse. I could do a lot worse. Well, I think the removal of the word hypothetically is what makes it a lie. Okay. All right. So it is now your seal's turn. Just reminder, there's one that he already bit who is looking real bad and then one who hit him earlier that is not looking real bad.

The one that he bit is laying on the floor. Yeah. So I want Hway Leon to take his tail and just smash it on the guy's head, driving it into the floor. Jesus Christ. What do these guys do to Zooks? They- Travis, you have no place. You have no place to say this. You have no place. You did hit them all with a big stormfront. I hit them with a little storm front.

It was one D6. A tasteful. A tasteful reserved, if I might say, a polite storm. If anything, I think I hit it for two. What do I roll? And then you came and you were like, have my big oil sit on their heads. I don't know what's happening. I was trying to make a point to them.

You're trying to make a point to their grandkids. kids. Yeah. Rolls a seven. This guy's wounded and laying there, right? Yeah. Even Leon has more of a heart than since then. Leo's like, no.

I won't. He also has advantage on the attack. I do? Yeah, because you're within five feet of him. Oh, okay. Well, this time it's 16. Well, yes, definitely. I'll always remember him.

That's a 1D8 plus 6. And that's a 1D8 plus 6. And that is five plus six. That's 11. Yeah, I mean, what you wanted to happen happens. Did you remember to say non-lethal damage? Uh, I mean, it's fine. I said to knock him out.

Yeah, all these folks are unconscious. Uh, yeah, you, Leon smashes his tail down on the guy's head, and then his head is now inside the floorboards. I take it back. This guy's dying. This guy's going to need a, emergency medical attention in the studio.

Whaley on immediately feels guilty and starts licking him in this real adorable, you know. I don't think he doesn't notice. He's wicked unconscious and dying. I didn't have a chance to press my button. Hold on. Oh, that got me good. You all right? A piece of that tip just got me.

A piece of that just, the tip just got me, O'Dell. It's really good. That kills me every time. It's so good every time. Devo. I would say, Devo, you have complete situational awareness. Like, you know where Amber and Shret went, and you see that there's only one customer and the chef remaining in the room below. Okay.

Devo's going to run down to the dude that Whaleon just smushed. Okay. And he's going to cast heel wounds, cure wounds on him. Interesting. Okay. Yeah. I'm just going to have to Whale Whomp him again? Well, we'll see.

And that's, I mean, it's one plus three, it's four, but it's going to stabilize him, right? Yeah, I mean, he's conscious again. And ready to fight. Okay, everybody stop. Zooks, the seals thing? What is, who is this? Waylon? Waylon.

Weillon. Stand down as the fight's done. Whoever was upstairs, he's gone. And I, I am so sorry. and Devo pulls out four locks and says, I can pay for damages and to help everybody heal, and I can do more heals, and please, I am sorry. Roll a persuasion check.

I think the only person that's like listening is the chef. The guy who you just brought back to life is like pretty out of it. What happened? I roll the one, Griffin. What? I rolled a one. It looked at, it showed 10 on my show. Plus nine.

Yes. Ah, okay. Uh, yeah, there's, there's nothing I can do for you there. Uh, here is, here is what happens. The chef takes a beat and realizes you just healed this dude and then like looks down at the four lux on the ground. And it seems like for a moment he might listen to you. And then he just shakes that thought off and raises his butcher's knife and starts walking up the stairs.

And then something is thrown at him on like a string, almost like a bolo. And it wraps around both his ankles and pulls him. and he is ripped down the stairs, hitting each stair with his head on the way down. And then the object on the, you know, rope or whatever is pulled away from him. And in the doorway, you all see Amper Sand 5 holding onto the lantern with Phineas call in it, which is what he just used as a sort of mace. And Amperstand 5 says Sorry, I followed you here

I can kind of, I know where you are at all time, Suks Because I think you poked around I hope I'm not interrupting anything No, no, no, come on in, come on in It's fun! It's like a bar room brawl With some fatality, it's awesome. Oh, well, Where is Amber?

No, no. Waiter. She gave chase. Oh, okay. Should we go to? Do you know how to drive a hoverboat? You actually look out the front door and see that there is like a large hovercraft, like a proper one with a big fan on the back of it, like a pump.

pontoon boat almost. And the engine is still running. And Amperstan 5 says, well, no, but the lantern lights up. Infinious Call says, but I do. Devo picks back up the four locks. Okay. Listen, I offered, he didn't take it. It's not a standing deal.

That's all fair. And Amberstand 5 walks back out to the hovercraft and sets the lantern sort of above the steering column. Does anybody look especially bad? No, nobody here is... The only one that was actually in mortal danger is the one who got his head smashed. And he's awake now, right?

Yeah, he's awake. And looks at you very scared. Looks at you, Anzukes, and the seal. Very, very worried. Listen, listen to me, okay? This was all my fault. I absolutely fucked up. Please tell all of your friends here

that I am very sorry. and if I could do it again, I would do it different. However, if any of you attempt to seek retribution against me or any of my friends here, do look around the room and see that while I was trying to make peace, my man Zooks over here, just completely wrecked shop, along with his whale friend, his seal friend. And so imagine how much worse it would be if we were actually trying to hurt you. Huh?

Yeah. Roll an intimidation check. Really? Oh, Fuck! Are you kidding me? Travis! Yikes.

It's a one. It's another one. It's back to back. Another one. Flings. The, okay, the guy who you were just trying to intimidate looks up at you and spits on your nice jacket.

And then faints back downward. closes his eyes. Okay. Yeah. Fuck. Okay. I deserve this. Let's go.

Before we go. I need a tender moment. Please, may Zooks have a tender moment? I will be in the boat. I don't want to seize this. Yes. He takes Whalion's big probosciscus face. I don't think that's it.

It's big proboscis, maybe. His big, yeah. And he holds his face in his hand. and he says, this is not goodbye. This is until we meet again, because I promise sometime in this arc,

I will conjure you again. Goodbye, friend. And kisses the only his Proboscis knows, and he vanishes. As he does, you see tears in his eyes. And you hear a voice, his mouth doesn't move, but you hear a voice,

say, I love you, Papa. Papa, can you hear me? And then he's gone. And a voice outside shouts through the window at you. And it's Phineas Call's voice. And he yells.

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