The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Ethersea - Episode 30

Episode Date: March 3, 2022

Cambria's Call: Part Nine Zoox, Devo and Amber finally go toe-to-toe with an ancient, evolutionary force, leaning on an uneasy alliance with The Biggest Baby to do so.Additional music in this episode: “Release the Hybrids” by Bryan Teoh http://www.bryanteoh.com/; and “Around the Mountain” by Spinning Clocks https://soundcloud.com/sip_groop. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Hey folks, quick programming note before we get started, we're going off next week. Since we're going weekly now, we're going to try and take a week off between sort of major arcs. Just so I have a little bit more time to prepare and we're not rushing things. So, yeah, no episode next week. We'll be back in two weeks with the start of a new arc as this one wraps up today. So enjoy the episode and see you in two weeks. Previously on the Adventure Zone, Ethersea. you reach the huge drop-off down into this, this cauldron at the bottom of the sea.

The temple itself, though, the bubble that is surrounding it is much larger. What you see are sea creature-esque shapes. They look like they're on patrol. Okay, Amber Stent, here's the deal. You are going to monitor Zabay. And here, take my sharephone. If it goes south, you have the big baby just destroy everything. We're going to stealthily pop down to the middle of the temple.

We're going to grab what we need and get the fuck out. I'm going in. Cambria knows we're here. Draped around themselves in a sort of towering coil is Cambria. And standing just in front of this massive worm, it is Phineas call. I was just curious by seeing that fucking phytoplankton. Yeah, it is, it's hanging overhead. So you would prove to me that I am unnecessary. And then Cambria lowers their face down toward the three of you.

And with a voice that reverberates around the room, they say, So be it. Hey, roll for initiative. Okay. All right, we're doing like a Final Fantasy boss fight where we thought like we've stopped them, but now they've turned into their second form. Or wait, is there another form coming, Gervyn? You don't have to tell us, but I'd like to know.

I got a four. Jeez, I got an eight. Uh-oh. Oh, I hate winning initiative fights. And that is a net 20. That's bad. And I feel like I hate getting a net 20 initiative because I feel like you're burning it. You know what I mean?

Like, you could use that a lot later. I'd much rather get a four. All right. First up in the order is Zooks. Hmm. Why is, well, you're in the encounter tracker that I have going on. You are flashing in rainbow colors. I guess because you've got a Nat 20.

That's crazy. I'm flashing in rainbow colors? That's so awesome. Yeah, it's beautiful. Okay. I shoot the Phineas creature with my crossbow. I will say this is a very, very, very difficult fight, and y'all should try and use everything at your disposal here.

Okay, go ahead and make a range attack roll. I'm sure you've already said it 100 times, but how high up off the ground is the sphere of phytoplankta? About 20 feet up. this battleground, you're in a large circular room, and sort of wrapped around it all along the sort of exterior is Cambria, who has sort of encircled you, essentially, with its large gray worm body. There is a mound in the center of the room that leads down to a small hole. That is where you saw sort of Cambria coming out of in past memories. This room is maybe 50 feet in diameter, or yes.

There is 20 feet off the ground in the center of the room is that phytoplankton sphere that is chained up and hanging from the ceiling. And at the rear of the room, there is a huge sort of mosaic of sea glass, and there are some, like, floating lights behind it. the door that you all came into is sort of cut off with Cambria's big body. Big beautiful worm body. Big beautiful worm body. That is the situation. Okay, wait, hold on. Before we start the action, I realize now that you mentioned this sea glass thing with flashing lights behind it and we did absolutely not.

We then didn't mention it again. Is there anything to glean from just like what we've seen looking at it or would we need to like do a better position? I mean, it's sea glass, so it's not like transparent, fully glass, like a window pane. You just see sort of shapes and lights. And is there a tank of water on the other side you said? There's a tank. You don't know what's in it. Okay, great.

Okay. Zooks, the action is to you. Zooks casts Hale of Thorns at first level. Okay. And then shoots the crossbow at the Phineas creature. Okay. go ahead and make a ranged attack roll. And that is 13 plus 8.

That's 21. That is definitely a hit. Go ahead and roll damage for the crossbow. It's one plus three. That is four. Good, good. And? And then your Hail of Thorns damage.

Just a reminder, Hale of Thorns does additional piercing damage to, The target of the attack in every creature within five feet. Oh, actually, we make a dexterity saving throw. Okay. That is an eight and a one. So both the Phineas creature and the body of Cambria missed this save. So go ahead and roll damage. 1D10.

That's a six. A six. Okay. And cast gathered swarm. So it's an addition. D6 damage. Right. This is not a cast.

You keep saying cast when you talk about your... I use gathered storm. Yeah, that's good. It makes it less confusing about like how many actions you're actually taking.

Okay. And it manifests as a bunch of piranhas. Okay. Because I've been sitting on piranhas. I've been waiting... And it's sitting on piranas, Dad? Get out of there. Get out of there, man.

And that's a net six. Is that such a thing? Wow, shit. Yeah, okay. With that... You hit Phineas call with a crossbow shot that just like catches him in the shoulder. And when that happens, you just see like some green spray, just a flash of it, come out of the back of him. And then the arrow just sort of pops out.

And then a bunch of thorns pop into him and into Cambria's side, which, you know, the same thing happens. just like you see some holes. Just holes appear in him. Like fucking death becomes her. And then those holes close up. And then a bunch of fucking piranhas hit him. And he just starts plucking them out of himself as these parts of him reform.

And as they hit Cambria, its body kind of tightens up as it does not like this sensation. How big is Cambria at this point? enormous. It is, I mean, it's a 50-foot diameter room and it is coiling around it and sticking its head up and, you know, upwards into this tall chamber. So bigger than 50 feet. I can't wait until eventually mathematics is advanced to a point where we're able to figure out the circumference of a circle based on the diameter.

I mean, there's no way to do that now, but oh, fuck, someday. Someday, we'll get there. It's going to be so awesome, guys. You figure that out, Archimedes. If you times it times three in some stuff, but nobody's ever talked about it. No one's sure what that stuff is. Yeah. I bet there's a one in there.

Next in the order is Cambria. So the first thing that happens is a wound opens up in Cambria's side. And from it, green liquid pours out, like, pours out. Some of its body actually becomes thinner. as this green liquid sort of pours out all over the room. And I need everyone to make a Constitution saving throw. Constitution saving throw. 12 for Zeus.

A four for me. And a six for me. Okay, that's everyone. It is going to take 11 points of poison damage. This fluid as it touches your skin, it makes your whole body feel like it is on fire. So that is what Cambria does. Phineas Call takes a step forward toward you, Zooks,

and he reaches back his hand like he's going to punch you. But when he swings his hand forward, it takes the form of an enormous lobster claw that he is going to try and smash down onto you. that is a 19 plus 928. That does not hit. It hits. Yes. And you are going to take 12 points of slashing damage.

And then he rears his head back. And as he leans forward, his mouth grows and distends and his teeth turn razor sharp. And he is going to try and chomp down on you. That is 12 versus AC. that does not hit okay uh yeah with his second attack uh he tries to bite down on you but is surprised when your coral

body doesn't just like give in to the strength of his of his chump that is their turn next up is amber green you are standing in gross poisony stuff uh and yeah basically have uh zooks to one side in melee combat range with Phineas, and Cambria's just like everywhere, man. Cambria got like a face? Yep. Yeah, I'm going to start climbing towards Cambria's face. Like you're going to climb Cambria? Yeah, exactly.

What the fuck's Cambria gonna do? Okay, make an athletics check for me. Okay. Come on, baby. Oh, that's a seven. God, that's two plus five. Like, can I just catch a break? Sorry, go ahead.

You attempt to climb up Cambria's body, but as you start to get a foothold in there, you reach up a hand and it just digs into like slime. And all of a sudden, like, its body is not holding you up anymore. And you slip and fall back down into the bad green water. I need you to make another constitution saving throw for me. That's more like it. Five plus two. Seven. Yeah.

I got a four last time, so it is more like it. Okay. You splash down into this water, and because you splash down into it, more of it kind of hops up and gets on your clothes and soaks through. And you take seven points of poisoning damage. Okay, got it. That was just your move action, though. Are we in communication with Ambercyon? Yeah.

Um, Amber San has Devo's shelf phone. Okay. Ambersan, come in. Yes, yeah. Roger. 10-4.

I need you to go down to the weapons bay. Look for a button. Are you there? Yeah, just, yeah. Okay. There's lots of buttons everywhere on this ship. Okay. So here's what I want you to do.

I want you to go down to the weapons bay, and I want you to look for the button that says, slug launcher. Okay. And I want you to blow a hole in the roof of this motherfucker. Um, all right. Um,

and what if I hit you guys? Well, I'm hoping that that won't happen because the roof will absorb the impact, but honestly, I think we're going to die anyway, so I'm kind of playing with house money. Um, okay.

Uh, let me, Roll initiative for ampersand. Amper sand will act later. Okay. That is just speaking, though. Speaking is a connection. So you still have a move or, you know, an action to yourself.

Do one of those kinds of my, well, neither of those is my bonus action, right? No, you've taken a move action. Free action. Free action. And I bump out my big fists. Okay. That is your bonus action, I believe. Yes, that's my bonus action with my.

Let me mark my key point there. And I'm going to, you're going to love this, punch Cambria with my fists. The punching ability. Yes, no, yes, the punching ability for sure. Are you just punching it in the side where you tried to climb up it or? I mean, I can't move anywhere else. So, yeah, right? Yeah, that's a good point.

Right. I mean, I'll punch where I can reach. When you summon your arms, each creature of your choice that you can see within 10 feet must succeed in a dexterity saving throw or take 2d6 force damage. Okay. So I will roll that for both Cambria and Phineas. That, holy shit. No, both fail.

That's a four and a one. Great. So 2D6? Yep, roll 2D6 force damage. Six. Wow. How did that get a wow? Is this 3 plus 3?

Oh, I guess you had two. Yeah, all right. Right out of the middle. I thought it was 1D6. Okay. You see Phineas get knocked away from Cambria. and the sort of threads are like separating the two of them, the flesh between the two of them is stretched out even more.

And Cambria just howls. You get the sense that like that punch hurt Cambria in a way that maybe it's never been hurt before. And that's just you grow in the arms. That's your bonus action. Now I'm going to punch. Okay. Go ahead and roll an unarmed attack roll. Now are you punching at Cambria?

Okay, right, because you're standing by Cambray. that is. On camera. Got you have to punch. Got you. 17. 17 hits. Seven points of damage.

Wowzers. Uh, okay. And then you get to act again. Yeah. You get extra attack on your attack roll. Whenever you take attack as your action, you can attack twice instead of once. Okay.

This time it's a eight. Which must. That does not hit. No. Okay. Now I'm going to use. Flurry of blows Okay

So I'm gonna make two unarmed strikes Is a bonus action You already did use your bonus action Okay well then I'll just wait for that then Okay Next in the order is Devo Devo same thing You are standing in this gross water

And you see Phineas Sort of still regrowing From the latest salvo Of blows From Amber and you see the giant worm Cambria is sort of still encircling the room.

So Devo is going to try something that he's never done before. He's going to think before he acts. Okay. So he's trying to not a lot of new things today. So he is going to call out to Zooks and Amber and say, we don't need to beat it.

we just need, you know, what we came for, right? Pop, pop, pop. Yeah, I mean, yeah, for sure. But, like, how do you get up? How are you going to get up there? Devo's going to ready an action. Okay. With his boomerang.

He's going to hold his boomerang up high. And he's going to say, get ready to catch. Okay. So he's readying in action for when they're in place. Okay. Can we talk through the physics of this? Yeah, why would I catch a boomerang? That's not how boomerang.

No, no, no. To catch the... He's aiming for the chain. Oh, okay. Hmm. Okay. Yeah, okay. And he's also going to move out of the gross water.

Well, where is that? Because it is pooling all around the room. Is there any rubble or anything? Is there anything to climb upon? No. There is not. There is the mound at the center of the room. I did actually establish that.

So there's a very small sort of, like, mound of dirt and stuff in the center of the room with a hole in it leading down to God knows, you know, where Cambria used to kick it. Okay. Well, then he's just going to stay where he is and take the damage. Okay. Roll a constitution saving throw. You might not take the damage. We'll see, won't we? It's a 19 plus 1.

Yeah, 20. Yeah. You do avoid the damage. You know, your body's. still feels bad, but you feel like you've had the worst of it at this point. To make it clear, you are readying a boomerang attack action for when somebody else gets to go? Yeah, when somebody else is in place. Okay.

Well, next in the order is ampersand. And I'll do a public role plus a sensor as Amper San fires the slug launcher at the roof of this building. So, that is a six plus six. So that is a 12 total. I think what happens with that is that the roof where it had cracked around, there are a couple of pieces. We'll say two pieces of this dome roof that fall down into the water. one of them How about just everybody

Make a dexterity saving throw We'll see who gets unlucky All right Where is all Oh wow, Devo Yeah 19 plus 4, 23 Oh my God Four

19 plus 6 is a 25 Dang everybody's avoiding this one Amber you got a 4 Yeah I know it seems low to me too Okay One of these chunks falls and lands on Cambria.

And Cambria howls as this falls and like pierces into Cambria. You get the sense that like Cambria's form is like semi-solid at this point. And so when this falls down into them, it hurts. Cambria is going to take, ooh boy, 11 points of bludgeoning damage. Amber, the rock that lands near you doesn't hit you, but it does knock you backward. And again, you fall down into the poison water. And now you are just fucking coated in it.

Like you just won a Nickelodeon case choice award. So make another constitution saving throw for me, please. This is going to be the one. My bad luck is going to turn around right here with this beautiful ten. Plus two, twelve. No. You are going to take... Eight points of poison damage.

How's your health looking, Amber? Not terrible. That is Amber Sand. Amber Sand said, how do I do? How did I do? Was it good? You tried your best. Okay. Should I try again? Get him back to the bay.

What? Get him back to the bay. Get him back to the bay. Well, he's got to recall us, right? Get who back to the bay? to the back. Amberstant, you told him to leave the blink bay. He's got to get back there, right? Wait, why would he leave the blink bay? Oh, because you told him to go fire the weapons. Well, why are we leaving? We can't leave yet. I guess it wasn't clear. My thought was, we get the fight of blinkton, we get out, and have the biggest baby blast him to shit.

We can't be recalled by the blink bay. It's been more than 10 minutes. I think you're still within the 10 minutes. I don't know that the holes are, you know, that just got blasted into the ceiling are enough for, you know, okay. You know, enough for you to be spotted through, you know, the windows of a ship. But yeah. Are the, is there water pouring in? No, because the top of the temple is still inside of the bubble.

But the, how did the, how did the weapon get through the bubble? It was a, uh, it was a projectile fired at great speed. The bubble is just like a permeable, like air bubble. Yeah. Oh, okay. That didn't quite have the result I was hoping for. I kind of expected, hi, Justin Macquarie here, I'm playing on the Adventure Zone. I kind of expected, and I think all you did at home, too, was when the, thank you, Dad, was when the thing went through, I thought water would start pouring in because the bubble would have popped and all things would get all crazy.

What happened was the role of the slug launcher was pretty bad. Pretty bad. And so it did at best. superficial damage to the structure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Next in the order, we're back to the top with Zooks. Zooks is going to

tie a rope, maybe. On what? Tie a rope to a crossbowl and shoot it up towards the chain. Okay. And then try to climb the rope to get up where the chain is connected to the sphere. Okay. So just to set this up, huh?

Basic. Basic stuff, buddy. This is D&D 101. All right. Jesus Christ. I mean, this will be your whole turn. This is like several actions. That's fine.

Okay. You do have rope in your inventory. So go ahead and I will also tell you this is a fucking wild shot. to shoot a crossbow bolt that is tied to a rope to hit a chain is going to be a... Not just hit a chain, Griffin, through the chain or in some way attached to the chain. Yes. You can do this.

You can do this, but it will be extremely difficult. Okay. All right. Then I'm going to, can I, I would say an acrobatics role? No. To fire this thing is going to be a weapon attack. Okay. I believe in you, Dan.

Thank you. I don't know why Griffin's being so negative. I believe me. Okay, so I want to roll on my crossbow, right? Yes, you're going to roll a attack with your crossbow bolt on the chain. To try to get off the chain, you know what I mean? That's a 10. Yeah.

No. How much defense could a chain have? It's not about defense. It's not about defense. It's about you threading a chain link with a crossbow bolt that you have. tied a rope onto. There is no universe in which Well, when you say it like that, Griffin,

it sounds wild. Yeah, it is wild. You see, Cambria laughs at you. The big worm monster laughs at you. You hear him go, oh, were you trying to shoot through the link of the chain? You absolute duffin. To be fair.

You hear the monsters outside go, bleh, ha, ha, ha, ha. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Now, when you make an attack roll, you're rolling against somebody's armor class, correct? Did you, dad? Wait, no, wait a minute. Can we talk about this?

Oh, I don't know what to talk about anything else. All the jury members stand up and shut, objection at the same time. And the judge is like, this is how court works, but I agree. I just have to win over you. Yeah, you're not going to do that. I've made my position perfectly clear. You can say that you rolled a 10. What you did was rolled a 2 plus 8.

No way. All right. I want to hear that out. Yeah. Now, now, let him speak. Okay, no, no. Make your impassioned armor class. All right.

Let's hear it. I'm just a simple fantasy lawyer. But my client, let's hear it. I may not understand the dynamics of chains and bows, your honor, but. I might be a simple winged unicorn that went to fantasy law school. All right. I'm for real. You want to tell me that the armor class of this solid metal chain is going to be hit by a 10.

I would also hear that. And I would also. That's not my point. What's your point? My point is it's accuracy. It's not attack. Yeah. And with a 10, that's not very accurate.

That's also. But that was also. Okay. You can't polish this turd, Mac. You roll the two. That's it. I just think, though, with all that did to raise you right and sacrifice. if I see you could have a good life.

Yeah, you can spot him this one. No, no, no. I don't want your pity. I don't want your filial pity. I'll spot you this. It, it shoots into the wall. So you have in the far wall, just sort of to the side of the sea glass panes,

you have a rope now dangling from a wall. I'll take that. I will take that. Okay. That was just, I guess you haven't used your move action yet. I'm going to say generous. that the bonus action was preparing this wild grappling arrow. So you do have a move action left.

Okay, going to grab the rope and jump up in the air. Okay. And start swinging around like a tether ball tied to a tether ball. I mean, you could swing into the wall like a George of the jungle, but it's not like suspended from the ceiling. If the rope, the rope did not go through the chain, correct? No. It's off to one side, correct? Yeah.

So if I run from in the other direction, it'll start wrapping around the chain, correct? Mac, God in heaven, Clint. I like better than when we forget that this is a podcast to be consumed. This is exactly what it would be like at our house. 100%. No, no filter. This is as real as it gets, folks. All right.

Then I just, then Zutz just runs and stands directly under the tether ball of slime. Thank you. The tether ball... The chain with the sphere of Fred O'Waylorke. Okay, in no way could that ever be described as a tether ball of slime. And yet I knew what he meant. Yeah, I mean knew exactly what he meant. Okay.

Because some people are tolerant of my actions. Two of dad's sons love him. It's just like if you were like, and then I jump up to the sun. And I eat... In no way did I say that. I take a bite out of the sun, bring it back down to Earth, and shoot it. out of my butthole. If it had worked, we would have all been extremely thrilled.

Sorry. It would have been dealt. Creativity is stifling to you. Right. Devo, are you, is this the thing you have prepared for? Is this your moment? He's going to look to Amber as well, because the more the merrier. I love this.

I love this. Zooks goes to run under it after doing some basically Ranger jazz and then runs under, like, I got it. And Devo's like, uh, I'm going to wait for, Amber, I think, on this one. It's just that it's why we came here. Yeah, sure. He's got, hey, Amber gives a thumbs up. He's got it. He's got it.

Divo goes, uh-huh. All right, and now Amber gives two thumbs up. He's got it. Trust me, he's got it. Okay, yeah. Diva's gonna. Oh, still not convinced? Amber gives four thumbs up. Okay. He's got it. He's fully got it. Give the kid his shot. Divo is gonna throw. throw finish the sentence

in a complete way please and listen to yourself Evo is going to throw his boomerang at the chain attempting to cut the chain

yeah with a boomerang sounds like an attack roll to me of course it is Clint but describe the describe the boomerang for me

well it's a boomerang with psychic blades traveling behind it okay so you are going to use your second razor sharp yes I am okay make a range

attack roll to the razor sharp edge. But to do it, you have to say, 12, two more than dads. No way that works. This absolute nutty shot works. No, you throw the boomerang up at the chain, the metal chain,

and it hits it and then dinks off of it and falls down and lands on Zook's head. No, wait, if it hits it, Griffin, I'm going to use psychic bligs to expend 3D6. Okay, it doesn't hit it in the traditional scenes. That's not what you said. Hey, listen, this is a game of words, and you used a word. We're using, okay.

When you, oh, no, no, no, no, no, we're using words. We're using words. We're using words. You hit the chain, but psychic blade says when you hit a creature with a weapon attack. Yeah, it's a creature. Chains isn't a creature. Also, you can't deal psychic damage to a fucking chain. I can't deal psychic damage to a chair.

You're a dumb-ass chair. doesn't work. I think that's emotional attack. I want everybody to flashbacks a minute when Griffith was like, this is going to be a very, very difficult fight, and you need to use everything at your disposal. This is what that looks like. Yeah, this is what you rot.

Griffin meant like Webinson spells and stuff, but we heard like dumbass ideas. Yeah, let me just say also that in this initiative view, in this encounter tracker, I can see the HP remaining of every piece on the board right now. And fellas, it's not looking great. Not looking awesome. Because next up is, in fact, Cambria.

First things first, the Phineas construct is now sort of separated, I guess, from Zooks since he moved. Instead, Zuz is going to come for you, Diva, since you are sort of the last thing that moved. He is going to reach back and swing forward his lobster claw. And that is 9 plus 9, 18 to hit. Yeah, that does, yeah, that does hit. Okay. That's going to hit you for 11 points of slashing damage.

Well, shit, okay. And then he's going to reach forward and try to take a big bite out of you. That's a 7 plus 9, 16 to hit. Yeah, I mean, that hits too. Okay. And that is 6 points of 1%. Okay. Beans.

Um, hi, I'm looking for a movie. Oh, I got you. Uh, there's that new foreign film with the time travel. There's an amazing documentary about queer history on streaming. Have I told you about this classic where giant robots fight? Or there's that one that most critics hated, but I thought it was actually pretty good. Ooh, I know. The one with the huge car chase, and then there's that scene where...

The car jumps over the submarine. Wow, who are you eclectic movie experts? Well, I'm Evie Waddyway. I'm Drea Clark. And I'm Alonzo Duraldi. And together, we host the movie podcast, Maximum. Film. New episodes every week on maximum fun.org. And you actually just walked into our recording booth.

Oh, weird. Sorry. I thought this was a video store. You seem like a lady with a lot of problems. Well, Manolo, we have a show to promote. It's called After Game Show. It's a family-friendly podcast where listeners submit games and we play them with callers from around the world. Oh, sounds good. New episodes happen every other Wednesday on maximum fun.org. It's a fast and loose oasis of absurd innocence and naivete. Are you writing a poem? No, and just

saying things from my memory. And it's a nice break from reality. Is that, are we allowed to say that? I don't know. It sounds bad. It comes with a 100% happiness guarantee. It does not. Come for the games and stay for the chaos. That is it. That is all. that happens on this round. Next up is Amber. Am I still in the yucky water?

You are still in the yucky water. What is above the yucky water? Air? I mean, okay. I will say this. There are now two large chunks of ceiling that are above the yucky water and then there's still the mound

in the middle of the room. One of the things is like poking out of Cambria right? Because it like landed on top of of Cambria. So that is another sort of safe zone. The chunks of like rubble or whatever? The chunks of rubble that fell from the ceiling. Yeah.

Okay. I'm going to try to get up there, get up to that chunk of rubble. Okay. Why not you make, are you jumping up to it? I need to know what verb you are using to get to the rubble. Yeah. How far up is it? Not too far.

It's like maybe, well, I mean, okay, it is far for any non-munks, but for a monk like yourself, who has wild movement. Okay, then that's an athletics check. So go ahead and make an athletics check for me. This one will be lower than the one to climb. 16. Yes, that is a success. You are able to climb, are you climbing the rock next to Cambria or like that is jabbed down into Cambria? The one that's jabbed down into Cambria.

Okay. Cool. Yeah, you are able to do that. and you are now out of the poison. That was just your move action. Yes. I'm going to try to attack that the, Kimber is wounded, I'm assuming, by this.

Oh, yeah. I want to try to attack that wound. Okay. Just another melee attack. That's all I got in the toolkit. Okay. So go ahead and roll an arm strike. 11 plus 516.

That is a hit. Okay. Eight. All right. Now I will use flurry of blows. Oh, you can actually, you actually get one more free attack whenever you take an attack action. Right. It is two.

That's right. Comes another unarmed strike. That's a nine. That's not going to hit. Now come my flurry of blows from all my incredible arms. 16. Yes. How many comes in a flurry?

Two. No much of a flurry, really. No that I say it out loud. Yeah, I've only two. snowflakes fell, people wouldn't be like, oh, no. Yeah. Okay, four points on that one. Okay. One more. Wow, a natural 20.

Whoa, shit. Okay, double damage. Double damage. That's going to give us a 14. Oh, sorry, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine. For double damage? Yeah, because you don't double the modifier, you just double the dice roll. Yeah, exactly. That's why I was confused. Okay. Okay. With that, Cambria's head

slumps down just for like a moment. It falters for a moment. And when that happens, Phineas' head also slumps down for a moment. And yeah. Next up is Devo. Devo Le Mans. So wait. Slumped down.

Explain to me further. If I were in the room and I saw that happened, slumped down like you just hit a boxer in the face and they're knocked like loopy for a second? or slump down like, fuck, this is over, man. You are fighting an ancient, like, demigod, essentially, and you all have done a non-trivial amount of damage to it. Okay.

Cambria, speaking of evolution, I am going against my nature to say that we don't have to do this, right? This can be done now. You have hurt us. We have hurt you, right? I don't know what point you are trying to make, but this can stop now. Roll a, what is this, a persuasion check?

Yeah. Okay. I want you to know to set your expectations that like, if you are ever in a fight with the big bad, right, not that that's what this is necessarily, that like one good persuasion role will not save the day. Let's get a dialogue going on. 11 plus 9, maybe at 20.

Okay. Cambria takes a look at the three of you, and Phineas speaks and says, I don't know, I like my chances. Do you? Because positioned above us right now is an incredibly powerful warship with a word.

We will destroy everything you have built here. So that's not a lie. Roll an intimidation check. I should have done it. I got a really intimidation. Yeah, no, it's a four plus eight. Or four plus four, eight. Cambria laughs and says,

you are my child, Devo. Do you not think I know when you're telling the truth? Devo cast sending. Okay. To Kodira. Okay. And says, begin at one end of the bubble and work towards.

towards the temple. Okay, what are the rules for sending? I can send a message to anybody anywhere. Is that right? Yep, you can send the message across any distance and even to other planes of existence. Okay. But if they are on another plane of existence,

there's a 5% chance that they don't get it. Oh, geez. And as long as they have an intelligence score of at least one, they understand the meaning and I have to be familiar with the person or the creature. Okay, but they can't speak back, right? No, they can, and can answer in a like manner immediately.

It is a third level spell. Coderre says, are you clear of the blast radius? Do as I say. Okay. Another spell slot? Okay. That's fine. No wait, no bullshit.

Is that another? Yeah, I don't think. I can't respond unless I cast again, did it? Okay. Well, then, yeah, she asks that question. And you are unable to respond. Fuck. Well, the spell enables them to understand the meaning of my message, right?

Right. So, like, that's the signal that she's been waiting for, right? Would Kodira question it? Yeah, this is essentially a ready to action. So I want you to tell me again, an exact word. words what you told her. I said to start at one end, it was far like out at the end of the bubble, and start working her way in towards the temple.

Okay. Then this is going to put things on a timetable. Yep. Now. Okay. I don't know if you remember this. It was kicking our butts. Yeah, it is kicking your asses. Okay. You hear Cambria kind of vibrate with laughter again. And then you hear a sound like a, like a transformer on an electric pole exploding outside. And with that, some small pieces of rubble kind of fall down into the green water. And Cambria now isn't laughing anymore. Divo says Tick-Tock

Okay I think that's I think that's a I think that's a good turn I think that's a round Next in the order is

Ampersan And Amper San says So another one then Why don't you get back To the blink bay Oh okay Are you sure

Because I feel like I'm really dialed in now No no no no no You've done enough Thank you Okay and ampersand runs, you hear the sound of footsteps as Amperstan runs back to the blink bay. And Amperstan says, it's hard for me to kind of see you. There's a few little holes in the ceiling, but I don't know that I could really zap you all from where I'm at now.

Just tell them to be ready. Just hang tight. Okay, okay. I will effectively move Amper Sand out of initiative order to drop in when necessary. Uh, Zooks, you are up next. Okay. I take a rope. Yes.

Never defeated. I'm going to down, but not out. Do we know how the chain is attached to the sphere? It is wrapped around it, essentially, in sort of two circles, sort of wrapped around it twice in a manner that that is the way that it is holding it up. Zooks cast summoned beast. Okay. brings up Whaley on, the elephant seal. Hell yeah. Welcome back.

It tells him to attack Phineas. Yeah, dude. Yeah, fucking get him. Okay. Remind me, I think the animal acts after you act, right? You mean in the like initiative order? Yeah. You call forth a bestial spirit and manifests in an unoccupied space.

You can see, that's fine. Let him run after me because I'm not going to do anything else. A Zooks is not going to do anything else, but stand underneath the sphere. Okay. You need to make a constitution. Because at some point that sucker's got to fall and somebody's got to catch it. Sure. And you want to be that guy. Make a... You want to be that sucker.

Make a Constitution saving throw as you are still ending your turn in this yucky water. By the way, Zooks has a resistance to poison. Should have pointed that out to me, dude. Yeah, man. I didn't know it until after you hurt me. Why did you just roll Thunderclock damage? I didn't mean to. It was an expert. Okay.

Uh, yeah, roll Constitution Saving Throdevo. I mean, Zooks, sorry. Okay. That's a 14? Uh, that is insufficient. Well, then what is, what is resistance? It means you're going to take half damage. Okay.

So that is five points of poison damage. Okay. Now Whalion can go. Whaleon. Attack him. Okay. So you're going to roll a D20 plus four. 15 plus four.

That's 19. Uh, that is a hit. So that's 1d8 plus 4 plus 2. So 1D8 plus 6. 6 plus 6. 12. Okay. Wow, everybody on the board is bloodied now. Every single person is bloodied.

Except for Whaleon, I suppose. Oh, yeah, whaling is the best. I hit the wrong. Stop rolling thunder clap damage. There's an accident again. I wonder what Travis is going to do on his turn. Has anybody else figured it out? When that happens, where the rock fell down onto Cambria, the piece of like tail behind it just like separates and falls off and dissolves into goo.

The result of that is that the part of Cambria that was covering the door is now gone. So the door out of the room is now available. Cambria is still very big and very imposing, but they are not fully wrapped around the room anymore. One thing that you do realize is that in the entrance to the foyer, there are some of those green patrolling, like mutant fish monsters that are starting to come into the building, sensing that something is going very, very wrong here. And next in the order is Cambria. Cambria, diva, you're the one that ordered the shots, right? Yeah. So that's going to happen again after your turn.

Okay, first Phineas is going to go. Uh, Phineas is going to step away from Cambria even more and swing a lobster claw at you, Zooks. That is 21 versus AC. Pretty sure that hits. And hits you for, well, 15 points of slashing damage. Yikes. Yeah.

Uh, and then, and then it's going to attack you with a bite. with the same sort of shark bite that he has been doing, that is 17 versus AC. Yep, that hits. Just five points of piercing damage. How are you doing, Zooks? One point. Okay, so you're doing good.

Got it. Cambria is going to sort of pull its body back toward the back wall of the room where those sea glass window panes are. And it's just going to like press itself up against that wall. And that is Cambria's turn. Amber, you're up next. You are now like no longer standing inside of like,

you're not standing on the rock that was inside of Cambria because that is essentially where it, Cambria was cut in half. Instead, you were just sort of standing on this rock out of the poison goo. Um, so I'm staying on the rock. How far is Cambrian here for me? Um, maybe, maybe 15 feet. Uh, I'm going to, uh, leap onto Camrya.

Okay. Uh, first I'm going to use step of the wind. Ooh. To double my jump damage and my jump distance. Oh, wow. Okay. Yes. And, uh, and I'm going, and I'm going to leap onto camera effortlessly and gracefully.

Yeah, make an acrobatics check with advantage. 17 plus 522. Yeah, I mean, easy. No, but do it again. Do you get this one. Okay. No, and that failure. Let's not talk about the second one.

You know what it is with your 22? You run along the wall and swing on the rope that Zooks had shot into it earlier. There it is. No, there it is. Run across the wall to land on Cambria's back. Yay! And as you land on it, Camry's head, like, looks down at it. you and you can sense like panic.

All right. And Amber rears back all of her fists. Okay. And she looks at Cabri and she says, Fix my eyes. Roll an intimidation check, I guess. 19.1.18.

Fuck. Cambria. And remember Amber has epaats on. Yeah, I know, yeah, for sure. Oh, wow. Cambria shudders and says, Your eyes are beautiful. What is...

Punch. That's one punch. That's my first attack. Okay. It's a one. It's all right. Oh, you stop just shot. I stop just before.

I don't make contact. And then she shouts, that was a warning. Fix my eyes. Cambria again, it says, but you'll have the ocean's eyes. Why would you not? Nine. No, I mean, that's another miss.

Oh, it's getting closer now, though. Oh, Cambria's scared now. Fix my eyes. Flurry it was. Okay. There's a 19 plus 5, 24. That's a hit. Mm-hmm.

Five. You punch Cambria and send some, like, slime sailing away from its body. You just, like, hook it right. Ooh, not 69 points of damage. Wow. Nice. How much was it, total? Nine.

Nine. And Cambria doesn't even seem to react to that. Cambria seems, like, focused. And, in fact, Phineas has turned his back. and towards Zooks and is now facing you and is looking at you. And you can tell that there is like a wild amount of concern on his face. And Cambria says, these eyes are made to see in this new world.

They are special and perfect. Why would you want to change them? Because I've always had my papa's eyes. And I want my eyes back. Are you going to do one more? I'm giving them a shot. They have a chance. Tell me something I like, or you get the fourth bunch.

They, Cambria's body just goes limp. And they splash down into the ground, and they are still breathing. And Phineas walks towards the body of Cambria and puts a hand on the body and then just walks into it. And Phineas is gone and now it is just Cambria who is laying down in resignation. And you hear a voice resonate through the chamber and they say,

I've overstayed my welcome, haven't I? Yes, I think this is a way to look at it. There's another explosion outside. Yeah. There's another explosion outside, and the doorway into the temple out in the Fourier collapses, and you hear the creatures that were out there shrieking very quickly in protest,

and then their cries are gone. Devo cast sending again, using my second, third level spells lot to contact Kodira and he just says, hold. Kodira says, we just fired another salvo. And so based on how that went, how long do we have? Not long. Cambria says, are you all your city? What is its name?

Founders wake. It must survive. I pray for its survival, they say. And then it, in one last sort of flailing gesture, it rears its body forward and then slams it backward into the wall with all of the sea glass window panes. And a big, a big, chunk of the ceiling falls down as that happens.

And in fact, this whole building starts to reverberate like a bell that has been rung. And moments later, you hear the whistling sound of more cannon fire on the way. And Cambria falls down and is not moving. Does anything happen with that pane of glass? No. But it opened up a big chunk of ceiling, right? Yeah. Okay.

Zooks, you absorb water, right? Sure. And Devo cast Thunderclap inside of the sphere of phytoplankton. Zooks is still standing right under it, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Roll, what is that?

It's a constitution check. Constitution saving throw. I'm not going to roll that. This is a sphere of, well, you know what? Actually, let's see. how it affects the living organisms inside. A 15. So we'll say with a 15, the phytoplankton saves.

The glass sphere does not. And it shatters. And like the flash dance music video, a bunch of water falls down onto Zooks. And Zooks, when that happens, you feel like you're standing in like a wind tunnel as this water lands on you. You feel very weird.

you feel very cold as the water lands on you and you feel these microorganisms start to infuse with your body. And the pieces of the glass sphere sort of fall to the floor. And there's another explosion and then the foyer is just gone. And you all feel the heat of this explosion comes shooting down the hallway into the room that you're standing in. Tell it. Blink! I don't have a phone. Yeah. And with that, you look up

and you can see the choreolas floating over the city through this huge chunk in the ceiling that's gone. And just as you hear the whistle of another projectile coming down through the bubble, before that you hear a pop. And then you are standing aboard the ship

once again. and through the windows of the blink bay, you see the last missile hit the temple of Cambria and collapses in under the weight of the explosion, but also as the phytoplankton is removed from the city, the bubble that it was creating, it is gone to, and the whole installation just goes up in a cloud of dust. And for a moment, it is still down there. And then from the tank that was attached to the back of the temple, it is cracked open and fallen away from the temple.

And you start to see shapes pour out of it. And they are vaguely humanoid. You see faces on these beings. like the faces of like people, only they are iridescent. And they are attached to similarly shiny bodies that are significantly larger than any of your own. And you see familiar limbs on these creatures, but with unfamiliar proportions. Their arms stretched down way below their waists, and they end in hands with these wildly long, slender fingers. Their legs are, there's too many of them, and they drag behind them.

And they're much longer than the rest of their body. They're like trails of silk being pulled through the water. And when you look at them, the only kind of association that you have is that there is some version of murfolk that exist in the lore of this world. But these creatures are unlike the stories. They are ghostly and graceful. And in a flash, their iridescent flesh shines, and then they are gone. It is several days later. And the three of you alongside Amper Sand are standing in the cradle, watching as the engineers in here finish installing the new phytoplankton, which I imagine took some time and effort to remove from your body zooks.

They probably got like a couple shramps that popped out of you, and they're like, just push that shrimp, push that shrimp. That's not it. I'm going to, what is this, a piranha? Ow, fuck, you got piranhas in there? Sorry, what are you doing? Oh, it's a menagerie in there. Yeah.

It took a while, and it was an uncomfortable process, but now the tanks that once held the large phytoplankton have these new colonies of, you know, small phytoplankton going through them. They are glowing bright. And the single surviving giant phytoplankton sees the new life surrounding them. And they kind of curl up into a ball and rest. And the high baluster Hermene walks away from the engineers and she sighs. She looks as tired as someone who has had, you know, the last week or so that this city has had. But she looks relieved at the same time.

She's also wearing a fleece jacket with the Nermel's Pile branding on it. Oh, hell, yeah. And she looks at you first and she says, Fuck, I forgot to tell Cambria about Nirmus Pyle. God damn it! Normel's going to be so pissed. She says, yeah, I wouldn't tell Nirmal about that because it seems like the kind of thing that she would get pretty upset about.

Yeah, I won't tell them there. I don't know what to say. You all have done a tremendous thing. You have saved the city in no uncertain terms, and I am in your debt, and believe me when I say that I am a very good person to have in your debt. And she looks at you, Zooks, and she says, and I also want to apologize for my actions earlier when you told me about Phineas.

It was childish of me and I have tried to put that in my past. When I came to the Shoreside community, I was a royal brat with visions of grandeur, and I wanted to be the savior of mortal kind, and I was a pretty big asshole. about it and Phineas was the one who helped me learn the error of my ways. And I don't know. I can't believe he's gone. Well, you know, we appreciate that. We really do.

She says the thing he taught me most was that heroism isn't some title that you earn for yourself and that you get to trot around, it's a thing that you do. And your actions today have reminded me of that once again. So thank you. Well, you're very welcome. That was very, I know that was hard for you. That was very hard for you to say. Boy, yeah.

Hemming, I know that you, we've just finished this, but. It has been on my mind, and I must make you aware of it, on our journey, we found a golden ship that we believe was a vessel from hominine, new, I mean recent, not an ancient ship, this close to us. I don't know what this means, but it is important that you are aware of it. Her eyes go wide, and then she closes them and takes a breath, and she says, let's make that a worry for tomorrow. We've all had a long week. I think we owe it to ourselves to relax and as much as we can enjoy the festivities. And outside of the cradle, up in the ballast, hundreds of people have gathered by the city gates, which is essentially an enormous airlock facing the sea.

And attached to that airlock at the end of a long tunnel is the flagship of the Ark Fleet. And the people assembled here in the ballast are a motley crew. There's a lot of fidgeting, a lot of nervousness. And when the airlock doors open, the people behind them, they see the citizens of the founders wake and see their new dramatic transformations. And it does not break their stride as the two communities, these distant relations rush into. Maximum fun.org. Comedy and culture. Artists owned, audience supported.