The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Ethersea - Episode 37

Episode Date: April 28, 2022

CW: Implied suicide by poison.The Coriolis returns from its latest explosive outing, and its crew begins investigating the death of a Founder’s Wake icon. Needless to say, their search for justice rubs some people the wrong way.Additional music in this episode: “Labyrinth” by Sergey Cheremisinov https://soundcloud.com/sergey-cheremisinov-1; “Sonata E Minor” by Vivaldi, performed by Rafel https://freemusicarchive.org/music/rafael/single/vivaldi-sonata-eminor-mp3-1/; ”Lulluby” and “Owls” by Jahzzar http://www.betterwithmusic.com/; and "Beneath the Dark Clouds" by The Pangolins http://thepangolins.yolasite.com/. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Previously, on the Adventure Zone Ethersea, you will kill four-arm woman person until her death. Agreement? Oh, no. If I killed the white stick people. Yes, excellent. If I do that, if I do that, we're good, we're cool, right? We still die as noble sacrifices, but world's safe, so very good. I will keep the white stick people from hanging from.

forearmed woman person in sky to boil off sea. Let's go. Time to boogie. We got to get these animals on the ship. Yes, I agree. Come on. The rhinos did not. Oh, dear. What happened? Aloysius Supreme was part of a group called crescendo, and he helped them set up something where they stole the animals,

and then people were hunting them so that they could feel the thrill of snuffing out It's the last of an animal. There was a dude's there named Tolliver? The only Tolliver, you've ever known, the only person that ever had that name was Declan Cern's little boy. We need to go home right now. I'm, Devo, I'm so sorry. The Hand of Guidance is dead.

The Office of the Hand of Guidance is clean and bright, just as you've seen it every other time you've visited. Nothing is... Out of place at first blush. There's just guidance, slumped over her desk, eyes closed, her face one of peaceful slumber. Sitting on the desk beside her positioned with ritualistic precision are two objects. A small silver cup, about shot glass-sized, inscribed with the scales that serve as the insignia for the Church of Benevolence. The other is a small glass vial, the same.

sealed stopper for which has been cracked off to release the fluid that seemingly brought guidance to her end. And you are in here with Codira and a couple of other chaperones, and she stands from where she's been kneeling beside the body of her fellow baluster, and she is holding a sheet of parchment that she very solemnly hands to you, Devo. And it is, a note in guidance's handwriting, and it reads, hominine is gone. It was all for nothing. I'm so sorry, benevolence.

I'm so sorry, Devo. Now, when you all were brought in here, fresh off of your last mission, you received a briefing from the chaperone, who was sort of the first to report here. according to the receptionist for this parish whose name is Adelaide, brothers seldom and guidance were working in her office most of the day yesterday, which is when you last saw them together, Devo,

working on deciphering the wisp that you recovered from the wrecked hominine ship. Is it that the orb is called, you're the one who came up with this, is the orb called wisps and the spies who used them called whispers or the other way around? Yeah. Okay. And that is, that's like the, the code sending, message sending machine, right? Yes, that is the thing you guys recovered from the sort of golden wrecked ship that you all found during the Cambria sort of hunt. So seldom left before supper.

Adelaide checked in on guidance and found her in good spirits. She intended to work more on deciphering the wisp. And so Adelaide left and locked the parish. up. And this morning, she found the door into guidance's office locked from the inside. And after being somewhat alarmed, because she is not answering her calls, she busted in the door and found guidance dead in her office. And that is the briefing you all have received. So we see a silver shot glass. Yes. Right? Yes. And then there's a, like a vial file? What we got? A viol. I don't know what the difference between a violin of file is. Maybe either.

One sounds like a lot more fancy. I think it's the way it's pronounced is the main difference. And spelled. This was like a container that you couldn't just open. You would have to break it in order to get the fluid out. So like a carafe or a samovar or a decanter. Or a phallactory or a, yeah. Yeah.

But it was like. Like, it was sealed not just like with a cork. This wasn't like a bottle of like wine or something. No, this is a, you, you crack this open and it's like, you know, it's the nuclear option. One time use in case it works. Exactly. Got it. Okay.

Yeah, that is what you all see. And, uh, I think after handing you the note, Devo Kodira says, um, listen, we've taken a look here. Uh, I can give you some time. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you, and we need to start making arrangements ourselves. We've lost two balusters in the last 24 hours. So it's important to know. I want everyone to know since being told that the hand of guidance was that Devo has not said anything.

Okay. And now he says... Of first. Yeah. And now he says, this is fucking bullshit. shit. Whoa. Yeah, it's powerful, man. He took all that time to put that together. To really, yeah, those are his, the thoughts he's been sort of processing. Who does this?

I, I, it would seem that she did it, Devo. I know, this is the bullshit part. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. She would not do this. I, I, I didn't know her. Listen, you knew her better than I did, and so that's why I want to give you a chance. to take a look around. She kind of whispers under her breath. Trying to sort of say that surreptitiously to your group without the other chaperones hearing. She says it breaks protocol a little bit for something like this, but if there is foul play afoot,

I feel like you would be better at finding it because to me it just seems like she took her life. All right, can we talk real quick? Yeah, I'll give you all the room. Thanks. And her and the chaperones leave and close the door behind them, and now it's just you and guidance. All right, guys, listen, I want to be helpful. This is terrible, but this is starting to feel, it's starting to feel like a murder mystery.

And those things scare the ever-loving piss out of me. I'm really freaking out a little bit because I can't do a murder mystery, guys. Is it the murder part of the mystery part? Oh, that's half a little bit. of it. The other half? Okay. It's the mystery.

But people have died around us a lot in like... Do we know why? Contra Vos, usually. So it's the uncertainty more than the murder? It's both.

Okay. Okay. How about... I need to put my head between my legs. Hold on. Okay, why don't you step out of the room and talk to Cordyra

and get as much information about it as a decision? No, no, no. I'm not going by myself. What if she tries to tell me about a spooky clue? Oh, boy. I would also just request that you all don't immediately split up the party, please.

How about you, Breeze, and I will look around, okay? All right, all right. This might just be a regular, just a regular death. Yeah. Sure, yes. Just somebody do. Just a runner's demil murder. Or maybe you'll know who did it right away.

Yeah. There may not even. I mean, I would, if I may, I don't want to be this guy, but this is also, as much as I hate this person, someone that I have known quite literally all my life. So maybe a little bit more taking it seriously? A little bit. Okay. Okay.

I will take it seriously. Oh, but the way you said this, I don't know if you mean that. Do you mean that? Wait, wait. I will take it seriously. There it is. Okay, I believe that. That was the most serious you have ever sounded seriously.

Oh, I didn't. Okay. Now, Griffin, I've been in this office countless times. Yeah. I want to see what is different, right? What is the thing that either isn't there that should be or is there that shouldn't be, right? I'm trying to find anything that's like that's different.

All right, Travis, I'd like you to roll investigation with advantage. You know what? Because you know the room so well. Thank you, Griffin. I will. No, I didn't say that. That was terrible. My voices sound so familiar.

I rolled 13 plus 3. Okay, 16. What just happened? Oh, and a Nat 20, baby. Oh, nice. Thank goodness. No, you don't get to roll with advantage. What are you talking about?

I roll the Nat 20, Griffin. I don't get a shit. You shouldn't have wasted it on Justin Dean. But it was a Nat 20 because you said I knew the room so well. If you want a fucking DM, oh man, it would be so good, though. I don't. I just like, you're right. I shouldn't have.

You said I knew the room so on. I got advantage and so I got to. If I'm ever going to learn how to do it, I have to, to learn on the job. And that means stepping in sometimes with other people are DMing

and doing it myself Tom. Yeah. What other way can I learn? That's how all the great DMs are. It's called the ride-along, Griffin. That's why Gary Gygax

used to say, this is my nephew, Lil Matt Merzer. I'm teaching him the ropes. We'll let him duck his head in for time and just tell you how big a dragon's teeth are

something, you know. Yeah. Come sit on uncy, Guy Gygax, Neegy. Okay. So I'm at 20. No.

You're not going to keep the Nat 20. You can roll. Again, here's the question, though, is are you trying to look around the room to get a feel for what is out of place? Or are you, like, you said that you are kind of trying to cross-reference that with what you remember from the office, right? So it's not, here's something that we need to get straight before we get into this, because it is, you know, going to be a mystery. is the distinction between investigation and perception. It's always been kind of blurry with us. And this is the distinction I'm going to use from now on,

because I saw it online and it was very instructive. Perception is the use of your senses to see something. Investigation uses your mind. So knowing that and moving forward, what are you rolling here? Yeah. Yeah, so I want to use my mind to think about, okay, yeah, I want to compare and contrast how I remember the room, what I remember being like on her desk. How about that? Okay, I know you've been in here a lot. I think that's going to be a pretty high check because that's like some like, I don't know it's on my desk. Yeah, right now.

It's in front of me. So go ahead and roll investigation then. Okay, but if it's lower than that 16, I'm going to be real mad. Oh, no, it's an 18. Nice. 15 plus 3, 18. Okay. Let me think.

I can tell you specifically what I'm looking for. Okay. What are you looking for? Any indication that something was put back in place where it shouldn't be or that there's something on her desk that shouldn't be there. Okay. With an 18, you do see it right away. Because you have never known the hand of guidance to be particularly, like, technologically savvy.

But you see on her desk is, you know, her and the silver cup and the vial. And then there's a quill and inkwell and there's a lamp. And then there's a tone wheel that just looks like, you know, it looks like a pretty bog standard, like, you know, office tone wheel. Nothing too exciting. But you have never seen a tone wheel on her desk before. And just as a reminder, tone wheel is sort of the magic fantasy thing we have for phones. Or walkie-talkies or whatever. Communication devices.

Is there a way with the, you know, the. tone wheels to basically star 69 and call back a previous number? No. Is there any kind of number of storage in them? No, I don't think so. I don't think that they are that techy, right? Okay, but it does indicate that somebody left it there, at least as far as I know, it is not hers.

As far as you know, it is not hers. You've never seen it in here before. If she did own it, she has not kept it in her office. I'm also going to say, like, you notice, this is a little bit harder to notice, but, like, it's not, you know, somebody noticed it at some point. The door has been, like, damaged around the...

Because Adelaide said she doesn't get down, right? Are there any other windows or entrances or exits? Nope, just that. No windows. Because, yes, because it was locked from, as Adelaide said it from the inside. One more thing I want to look in the drawers of her desk

Okay And I am specifically looking for the hand of guidance As specific Each hand has a book Right that is like their magical Like the thing where they learn magic from Right Yeah

And how they like understand their role within the church Sure I want to find hers Yeah Yeah, you find it. I will just give you that. If that is a thing that all hands have, it has not been, you know, it has not been stolen or destroyed. It is in the drawer that you would think it would be in.

Like you're that familiar with the room. I take it. Okay. Zooks. What are you looking for? Zooks is going to make a nature check. Okay. To check out the vial and the glass.

Sure. To see if there's any kind of, because most poisons are probably going to be plant or animal-based. Yeah, sure. Or mineral. One of those three. So nature. Yeah. He's going to make a nature check of the glass and the vial.

Okay. Go ahead and this is very specific, right? You're trying to like identify the brand of poison here. So why don't you roll nature? That's an 11. With an 11, you cannot, it smells like familiar, and it smells very potent. Like when you get your, you know, face holes close to it, it has a pretty potent smell that kind of knocks you back a little bit. But you cannot identify the exact sort of poison that it is.

Just that it is like a, it's familiar, right? And so you know it's kind of like a common, a common poison. It's not the venom of this specific asp. Like it's just like some poison. Okay. And we're just assuming that that was a cause of death? That is the indication. Yeah.

Right. Is the vial fancy or plain? The vial is very plain. The cup is what is fancy. Once again, this is another thing right here, right? Look around, right? We found that golden ship, right? If there was something that was like,

this, use this, bite down, you know, cyanide tooth or whatever, he would be fucking fancies. That's what, that's like the whole MO of this place. Amber, what are you doing? Hmm. She's kind of out of her element. Maybe she's just sort of, I feel like she's kind of like, generally kind of poking around to see if anything looks weird.

She knows fights, like she knows that kind of thing, maybe some sort of signs of struggle or anything like that. Okay, make a perception check for me. Is it safe to think we hunt a rest in that time? Oh, good, a natural one. That narratively is perfect. That's just fantastic. Narratively, I love it.

All right, let me just do the scene. All right, my hands are in my ears. and my eyes are closed. Please don't be very loud about any clues you find. Okay? I'm barely hanging on here, all right? But I'm looking for clues. I am participating, all right?

But she can't hear us answer because she's got her hands in her ears. It's not that effective. Yeah. Do you not have any kind of like monk chance or anything that you can do that would No chance? Yeah, you're a monk, right? This is very reductive, Zeus. Oh, well.

Also, I mean. Oh, I see as this point. No, not that kind of monk. Right, right. Yeah, all right. Yeah, I'm not seeing anything. So I'm thinking maybe it's not murder. What a relief.

Do you want something to drink? There's probably beverages and stuff in this office. I mean, I wouldn't drink out of that cup. When Amber says not murder. Yeah. Devo walks over and he is going to cast on the hand of benevolence detect thoughts. Whoa. Oh, interesting.

Creepy. Yeah. It's, there's a lot of doubt if you can't denial being one of those, you know, things that one experiences. And he's going to, he's going to cast detect thoughts at, as hard as he can at the, quote unquote, body. And see if anything happens. Okay. What's your spell casting modifier? Plus six?

That's what you're going to roll. Yeah. Because she can't save. So I'm going to roll what? Plus six. It's your spell attack modifier. Just to see how effective this is. I'm willing to...

So I'm rolling a D20 plus six? Yes. I'm going to say you need to clear a 15. Oh, I didn't get it. An 11 total. Okay, with an 11 total, you get the faintest inkling of something. She...

And this is, again, sort of what Adelaide attested to. She was thinking a lot about the wisp. That is like the lingering thing that she was thinking of. And that is where it was last time you saw it. It's just like, you know, this pretty big table with this big black orb, sort of underneath a protective layer of glass. It is, you know, where it was. She was thinking about that when she died.

You know what? I don't usually push this, but I'm going to burn another spell slot and do it again. if that would be okay. Because, and I can justify why he wouldn't let it go. Their relationship was basically based on a lot of her withholding information from him. Yeah. And only telling him what she thought he needed to know. Yeah.

And this being like the last opportunity to not put up with that shit. Yeah, sure. I'm going to say you have not had a chance to have a long rest. Yeah. So you got the spell slots that you got. Yeah. Okay. I have those.

I burned through my first level ones and my third level ones. Okay. Yeah, but you got a second. Sure. All right. All right. Yeah. Roll that D20 again.

You're going to have to get higher to get more shit. Okay. That's a 10 plus 6. 16. There is another thought that joins the thinking about the, the Whisp, which now, like, because of the stronger nature of the second time that you cast it, he's not just like thinking about the Whisp, it is like obsession with it. And that thought is just futile screaming. That's what you get.

I think we need to talk to Brother Seldom. Even if she took her own life, which I am telling you right now, she would not do, it is because there is something more. So far, we have done jobs that we are being paid to do, that someone has hired us to do. And so I am going to figure this out. I will not stop until I do. You two don't have to. I want to do, Amber is going to do a history check. She's been around a long time.

And I want to do a history check on who might possibly have benefit from hurt being killed. That's interesting. If this is happening in my day to day life, I would have some sort of natural suspicion. Okay, sure. Yeah, you've been around for a while. You probably know the people who have beef with, like, when the parish showed up on the shoreside community, there were lots of people who were pissed about that and, you know,

maybe still were. So if you want to roll a history check, just to see who, like, would have a bias. Okay, yeah, sure. Go ahead. 19 plus three. 22, okay. Hmm. So basically providing a list of suspects, right?

Right. Or at least motive-based. Motive. Yeah. Besides Devo. Right. I wasn't entirely prepared for this. I'm sorry.

That's okay. You've really fucked up now, Justin. Oh, that shows all. How could you? Outside the box thinking. I'm going back to shoots and liars. Okay, I'll say this. A lot of people in Joshy's knuckle are not psyched about the parish.

For one thing because it's like extremely against the vibe with the folks that roll down there. But also like it's in the conservatory. So like the church got to live in the very best place in the whole city, this like lush rolling. garden while the people of Joshy's knuckle live in like a weird big bulkhead for some reason. Okay. You would definitely, you would definitely know that. She was also a baluster. And so, you know, there are people who don't love how old the city is run, right?

Like Uncle Joshi has been a frequent sort of protester of the ballast and has always sort of been resentful of the fact that, you know, Joshy's knuckle doesn't have any kind of representation on the ballast. So that is what you know. With a 22, I don't know. I don't think that it is an instant light bulb like, oh, these people hate her. probably who killed it. That is just like the, you know, something that comes to mind. Now, so just till we remember at this point, the remaining balusters, because Aloysius Supreme was a baluster of finance. Right. The remaining ones are Hermine and Declan Cern. Uh-huh. Is the baluster of transit and Kodira is the baluster of defense. So there's just three left.

And they're supposed to be six. Who is the missing one? there was a Ballister of the Voice which is like a you know representative of the people that was Adam Levine

Yes Oh I get it It was just vacated It was not filled Who was the last person to do that Because that might be somebody To interview They die

They're dead They're not important Travis I just realized Yeah Their name was Henry McGuffin Yeah right Okay Before we

we go. Yeah, please. Sure. Can we do, I just want to make sure we've, we've gone through the crime scene. I want to, uh, Zeus wants that. Okay, Zeus is going to talk to, to Devo. So you know this office inside and out, right? Yes.

And this door is the only way in, right? There's no, you know, secret passages or anything like it. There's no other access to this room, right? I will put it to this way to you, Zuchs. if there is, right, I don't know about it. So the chance that somebody in passing would know it and I don't is very small. Now, as that said, guidance was very, I can't think of a better word than shady, right, when it came to keeping secrets. So she might have had something like this because she is by name.

nature's that way, but she wouldn't have told anybody about it if she did. Okay. So checking for it would be a waste of our time. I, like I said, I don't know. I'm telling you what I know is that I don't know that there's another exit. Yeah, I'm going to say just as the GM, like, y'all be as thorough as you want to be, right? I have lots of clues. Is there a chance?

Is there a chance that the hand of guidance has a pet in this office? Like a parrot or even a lizard in a terrarium or a fish in a tank. Or are there any bugs nearby? Any insects in the room? There's a poison score. No, you don't see anything like that.

Okay. Were you hoping to interview an animal witness today? Yeah. Great. Yeah. Get some confession out of a newt. Oh, you know what? Zooks, do you have the best perception?

Is that my guess? Because you're a ranger? What's your perception? Plus one. Oh, really? Yeah. That's plus three. Okay.

Yeah. I think we should take a look at the note and see if we can discern anything about like the handwriting I mean is it seem herky jerky in any way Is it? I'm probably most educated though I mean this would be an investigation Right

And is it signed It's not signed no Okay yeah I'm going to investigate that Would Diva know the handwriting? Uh, sure. Nat 20. That's a 23 investigation check on the note. Jesus Christ.

Okay. It is unequivocally her handwriting. Hmm. She wrote this note. If this is a forgery, it is truly masterful work. And I don't know that Devo knows anybody who is capable of that level of sort of, you know, Sutterfuge. With a 23 investigation.

something hits you like a sack of bricks reading the note. It reads again, hominine is gone. It was all for nothing. I'm so sorry, benevolence. I'm so sorry, Devo. And it occurs to you that... She never called him Devo.

Exactly. Whoa. I fold up the note and I take it with me. Okay. Any other work y'all want to do here? Here's this thing. that I what we must remember

right now in this moment is that the church, the parish often operates with control. Think about what

a benefactor Orlean did to you when you turned on me. Now, that said, there is no one I know more powerful than the hand of guidance. somebody dominating her will and making her dozes to herself, that person is terrifying to me.

But it's possible there was no other person in this room. My guess, somebody called her, spoke to her over the phone, and made her dozes to herself. All right, now I'm spooked. Is there anything else you want to check up on in the office? Is there? Is there, Griffin? I'm going to roll an investigation check on my little brother. It's a tickle check.

And it's a tickle check. The only way I feel like a murder mystery works in through the lens of Dungeons and Dragons is you all ask questions and roll to find out the answers. I can't, I can't do any more than that or else it sort of goes against sort of the spirit of the thing, right? Okay. Okay. Yeah. Then let me ask this. Just in a recap form, the deal with the wisps and the whispers, right?

That's basically covert surveillance. Yeah. Right? Mm-hmm. Why don't we look to see if there's any sign of this technology in this room? There is. There's the wisp is in this room because that was what guidance and brother seldom were sort of trying to decode last, when last they were seen. I think we need to investigate that or at least.

take it with us. It is a big, it's a table. It's fastened to like a huge table that you guys ripped out of a ship. Don't, don't you think somewhere in there that that factors in because, you know, I don't know, it just seems like that's such an obvious connection.

Yeah. Amber's going to fuck with it. Okay. Yeah, that's good. She's never seen one before. Yeah. And nobody's in the room. Yeah.

And she's just kind of fucking with it. Roll to fuck with it. Roll to fuck with it. Describe to me exactly what she's doing. Rubbing on it. Like poking it, looking underneath it. Try how it works. Okay.

You know, fucking... Fucking with it. Yeah, sure. Make an investigation check. Oh. 19. A serenipitous. You fuck with it real good.

That's a good fuck I'm with. You fuck with it like Jenna Sulk fucked with vaccinations. You fuck with it really good. good. Here's what I will give you. When you all sort of brought this aboard the Coriolis on, you know, two missions ago, you had some time in the cargo deck and you got kind of curious and touched it a little bit there and it did some stuff. Now when you touch it, it does nothing. It is, it is completely inert. And, you know, I don't, what powers these things? Is it magic? Is it, I mean, I guess it's not a wall outlet?

it. No, it's got a European plug is the problem. Again, we didn't bring any adapters under the ocean with us. If you want to roll an Arcana check, I can try and turn to hand out. I know very little about magic. That's a nine.

Yeah, you don't know. It's not like, it is not like the same stuff that powers a ship, right? There's no engine or anything like that, or generator running for it. It's just like, enchanted shit is, is weird and does stuff on its own. Okay.

And that's sort of what you piece together. But this, for whatever reason, this is dead. This is an inert thing. I will say once again, if you want to solve this, Amber, you seem wildly uncomfortable by murder mysteries. Oh, you know what? You're in it now, right? I'm starting to get you. You're in it now.

I think I've got a knack. Now, listen, I cracked the mystery of calling you Devo before you did. This was very good. I'm feeling like I'm on fire. now. This is, this is, maybe this is my calling. I have two thoughts on leads and I'm open to suggestions or if there's someone else we want to talk to first, but first is to talk to brothers or seldom about their work with Zawisp and see where they had gotten with this to see if this is tied into it. Orr, we ran in to Benefactor Orlean

at Shretz's place. My guess is Benefactor Orlean is somewhere in, Founders Wake, and if we can find him, oh, I'd love to do whatever I can to get answers from him as well. But what do you think? Yeah, let's go do that. And... Which one? So, because that was two options? Yeah, you got to pick.

I think seldom. Yeah, let's talk to that, Craig, though. Talk to Selham. He's not a creep, what? Can we talk to Adelaide on the way out? Yes. That is, in fact, as you step out of the room, room, what you see Coderre doing, and she sees you as you all walk out and nods to those chaperones

that accompanied her and they step outside and she walks over. And she says, okay, um, did anything kind of ring a bell in, in there? Do you have any thoughts? Well, madame, we have, I believe, quite the cunning mystery on our hands. What are you? Me and my associates have been cluing out a little bit, and I think we're starting to figure it out. It's called sleuth. Captain, may I point out some of your brilliant deductions? If you must, Monseigneur. Okay, I'm not, okay.

First of all, there's a turnwheel on her desk. This is not hers, so not sure how it got. there, but it has not been there before in my experience. Secondly, while she did write the note, it is in her handwriting, as Amber was so brilliant to point out before the voice in my brain could point it out, she called me by divo. She would not have done this. She would have called me devotion. and so my suspicion is somebody controlled her through the tone wheel

to have her rights a note and then take her own life. Possibly because she was getting too close to something with the Wisp? Who can say? That seems a little speculative, but... Well, yeah! Correction. Oh? It's extremely.

speak. She says, look, this is, again, not how things work around here, but you all seem like you're on to something. So I'm going to give you all the bandwidth that you need to talk to whoever you need to talk and, you know, hit the streets and typically this kind of vigilanteism, not acceptable in this fair city. But if you know, if you have an inkling that you know that you know that. There's foul play.

I want to know about it. So, y'all talk to whoever you need to talk to, okay? And Ballister, I know you don't need us to tell you how to do your job, but just because I would be upset to myself if I didn't say something, it might benefit you to put a couple chaperons on CERN and their mean, both for protection. I'll want to be way ahead of you. Yeah, of course. Yeah, we've already posted up guards.

Yeah. We still do need to talk about the baluster that you, I mean. Oh, Aloisha Supreme? Zedig sucked. No, he sucked major sort of, just big ones, but, you know, you did end of life. Yeah, sure. Well, no, not to be fair, his own ship somehow malfunctioned. Nobody's quite sure how.

Yes Nobody could have done anything to stop this Yeah we're still sifting through the record So let's uh let you know We'll make goofs about it someday This will all be real This is no goof! I'm telling you it was complete accident

Priorities Priorities let's get this dealt with Yes you're right you're right okay Did Adelaide have anything else to add I just one more question Adelaide? Absolutely not Okay

Adelaide did you have a key To the office to the office door? She looks up and she's like, who are you? Who are you? Oh, God, it's you, it's you guys. Yes, this is Zeus.

Zooks. What, what did you, what did you say? We're, uh, like Miss Marple, we get called in by the authorities to investigate crimes. And so I, I, I just wanted to know if, if you have a key to, to the hand of guidance's office. No, I, I, uh, I, I, uh, I, I have keys for every door in this building. I kind of help, you know, with management stuff around here. But she was insistent that her office be sort of a sacred space.

And I, of course, did not protest that. So, no, I didn't have a key to her office. But I also, I can't remember the last time she locked it. So, um, there's that. Okay. And it was locked when you tried to get in, right? Yeah, I'm, you know, I'm not the toughest sort. And you can see that she's kind of like leaning on one elbow and trying to like raise and kind of roll the other one.

As, you know, she probably heard herself pretty bad smashing down this door. She said, but I, I would do anything. I would do anything for guidance. Devo touches her shoulder and casts cure wounds. Oh, okay. That is probably your last spell slot, I think, great. It is at my first level. Yeah, that's eight plus three, 11 points.

Okay. She comes back and she kind of sits back. Adelaide is nice. Yeah, sure. She says, wow, that was, I've never actually felt that before. That was, that was benevolence, wasn't it? Working through you? No, this was, it was Devo.

It was me. benevolence did not make me do this. I, yeah, okay. I'm sorry. No, don't make me regret doing it, okay? You're right. It's sorry, it's just, who. Anyway, okay, so, yeah, anyway, I already asked,

I got asked a bunch of questions, and I already told the answers that I knew. Do you need a statement or something? I have a question, Adelaide, right? You knew the hand of guidance really well, right? Yeah. This is the last time you spoke with her. You say she seemed in good experience?

She was excited. She was still working on the Whisp. She had been at it all day. She seemed tired. Whatever they were doing in there, it seemed like taxing work. Seldom seemed pretty beat when he left too, but he's an old dude,

so I didn't make too much of that. But she seemed. When you say she seemed excited, right? Yeah. Excited when like a normal amount of excited or like... What's a normal amount of excited? Did she seem like she was excited because she had figured it out? I don't, I don't know anything about magic stuff.

I'm really sorry. You know her, though. You know the hand of guidance. We all learn to be wary of her good moods and her bad moods. and how excited was she? She was very excited. I don't know what else to say. Has Benefactor Orlean been here, Adelaide?

Not for a while now. He's been pretty much in dereliction of his duties. So he's sort of persona non grata around these parts. He's been sort of off doing what he's. calls fieldwork. And so, yeah. But I haven't seen him in, I don't know, weeks. If you do, this is my number.

Please call my cell phone and let me know right away. Okay. She excuses herself and walks back into sort of a parlor, back in the further reaches of the parish. What do you guys want to do now? Who do I know? Who do I know in my past that would know the most about like skunk works whisper shit? Skunk works whisper shit.

Whisper shit. Yeah, that's sneaky bullshit. Yeah, like who do I know who's like disreputable? Do you need me to answer that for you? You wouldn't, does he know about whisper shit though? I mean, he's disreputable and yeah, let me get, let me get to, let me, let me, let me go holler at Joshua real quick. Okay. We can do that, we can hop down there all together, uh, if you'd like.

Yeah, I'd like. Okay. Uh, all right, you all make your way down to the cloaca and, uh, they're actually having a, they're having a, um, a birthday party for, uh, chancy. uh, Chauncey's, he's got a little cupcake and they just finish singing and they see you all walk in looking,

I would say at this point kind of bedraggled. You were, you were, yeah, I mean, you were actively pretty muddy, Amber. And they all look up and are kind of stunned in silence.

And, uh, Joshy says, uh, you mind not like, uh, tracking it in onto the floor? Oh,

I'm sorry, Joshy. Hold on. Let me get my shoes off. I'm sorry I didn't have like a trap set for you. This is Chauncey's big special day. There's the left one? And he works really hard around these parts,

so we wanted to make him feel special on his special day. How many is he? How many are you, big Chauncey? He looks up and he's like, 11. No. Was he born on a leap year? Choncy is 21 years old today.

He's having himself a crisp bed. like a bad boy Sorry, then Laces stuck on Yeah All right, there's the right Are y'all here? Hey, Josh

Yeah Let me holler at you for a second Out of prying ears Yeah Chaunt's first pound it Happy birthday Thanks, thank you ma'am Put chants a drink on my tab

All right All right He tried it once And he did a spit And I almost throw up And so I don't know That he's gonna want to do it again But yeah

I'm sure appreciate that. What y'all look like you have seen a ghost? What's going on? Yeah, it's been rough. Is there where we can take a short rest? Yeah, sure, if you want. We got a back room here with some comfy furniture on it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come back and talk to me for a day. Okay. While we enjoy short rest together. Okay. He takes you all back into the back room. There's some beanbag chairs, a foot, It's just kind of, it is kind of cramped and cozy.

Like you're also in the kitchen. This is like the room that the window behind the bar looks back into. There is a shower there for, an ether shower, rather, for you, Zooks. I think you used it many episodes ago. A lot of eight by ten pictures of all the musicians that have played there. Yeah, sure. Sign. There's Doherty.

Yeah, right. Okay. Yeah, if you all want to roll. to, you know, use some hit dice and heal up, you can do that. You don't get your spell slots back on a short rest. I do. You do? Yes.

Oh, that's a feature of the bard, isn't it? Yes, now. And I get key points back. Okay. Or no, what do I call them, vibe? Yeah, sure. Yeah, I get a vibe back. Okay, after you all have kind of, like, taking a chance to clean yourself up a little bit,

he's like, okay, so what's going on? Who do you know that's, Like, if you want something done that relates to, like, whispers, like, some real black-hop shit, who do you go to? Uh, whispers? You're asking me about whispers? Don't be a clasper about it. Just tell me. Well, I mean, you know, I'm not, like, a, you know, archbishop or nothing like that, right?

Like, that's pretty, that's pretty top tier, like, you know. Jossie. I'm telling you that. Amber, Joshy. Yeah. Who do you, Joshy, who do you? You know. Roll a persuasion check.

13. Minus one. 12. He says, okay, listen, here's what I know about whispers because, you know, I'm into the occasional sort of clandestine endeavor. And it seemed like, you know, a promising future for me in terms of infosec. But, I mean, it is, it's pretty hardcore stuff. It's pretty hardcore magic. And there's a reason why, you know, whispers are sort of relegated to the upper echelons of the church.

So, I mean, you want to know about church stuff, you ask, do you talk to guidance about this? You should say. Devo shoots Amber a look and shakes his head. I did not talk to her about it. And that's the truth. Make a deception check. But that's true I have a mission perhaps

16 Okay, minus one Minus one He nods and he's like Okay, well, I mean go talk to her It's, it's, don't get me wrong If I could sort of control them things I could see myself being a sort of

Dark broker Of the Secrets of the Deep Oh, that sound is so good You figure out how those things work You come down here and you tell me about it We could have our own little side thing going on. All right. One other question before we go.

Somebody wanted to control somebody's mind, make them do things they didn't want to. Yeah. You know any way to do that? You ever hear tell nothing? I mean, you hang with a dude who does that. Yeah. Yeah, but he's not the sort of creeper's out with him.

wouldn't make somebody do something. I have, yeah. No, I've done this. That's true. Well, all right. Yeah, that's a real good point, Josh. You thank you for that. Sometimes you just need a little inside of an outsider, you know?

Yeah, I mean, I guess. All I know is it's sort of powerful stuff. I tried to train my mind against it. You see, that was one of the main tenets of Josh. God, I wish right now I could just snap my fingers and make Joshie slap himself or something. If burn all your spells on. So, yeah, I mean, and somebody gets your mind, I can't control forget about it. Yeah.

Because that should be like a web, of illegally recognized weapon. Yeah, for sure. Do you know anybody named Orlean, Joshy? I know everybody in the city. So is that, is this a yes? It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, trying to sound pretty fucking cool. Has he been here?

Have you seen him recently? Has he been here? Have I seen him recently? Joshie. Are you trying to press him? Are you keeping something from us? Roll an inside check. I'm going to insight on you.

Oh, it's a natural one. Plus eight. Still a natural one. He says, I mean, I know of the dude, right? He's up to some sort of He studies big powerful magic shit And so, you know, in the circle I run in, you know In Ames of operators in that space

But I don't know him from Adams off locks So Okay Listen, Deva knows when he wrote the one You know what I mean? Yeah, sure Foof Well, that's my, that was my thought Is he mails 70

Any questions? Anything they want to ask old Joshie? Oh, yeah, I got a question. Hey, Joshy. Who's that? Sorry. Joshy.

What do you know about Aloysius Supreme? He's a fucking dink. And he should not be seated in any sort of position of power, because he, you know, he gets off on being sort of more in control of shit than anybody else in our city is measurably worse since he joined the ballast. So I know all that stuff about him. What if I could offer you a piece of information that I guarantee would both benefit you and you would be very excited to hear?

If I could do this, do you promise to help us now find benefactor or lean and solve the mystery we're working on when we need you? I don't know why you think I can do any of that, but you have piqued my curiosity. I'm just not sure I can up in. Do you guarantee that you will do everything you can? This is all I ask. I mean, I have no reason to what's going on? Y'all are... Aloisius Supreme is dead.

No way. There's an open spot for a balister who knows their way around finance and trade. Yeah, there is. Fuck yeah. I think that maybe this might be you, Joshy. Okay, okay, yeah. I mean, you have absolutely zero fucking power to get that done, but just the opportunity's there. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, we have very good relationship.

right now with both Kodira and with Hermine's, they owe us big time for a couple different things and so it's not that we don't have power. It's that it's how we choose to use it. He looks annoyed at you. He says, I

have very good relationships with Hermine and Kodira as well. Look, listen, kid, I appreciate that every time you come into my place, you like to you know, hang hang brain and just kind of rule in like you're the coolest dude in town.

But I know the people that you know and I've been doing this kind of stuff a lot longer than you. So I appreciate that, but I do not need the help to kind of work this angle. Josh, I'm trying really hard in my life to not be by default an asshole. And so here I come to you as information and an offer for help. if we mutually help each other. And now I can't help but think what you have offered me in return is a large amount of disrespect. And I am working so hard right now in this moment

to not be an asshole to you, but it's really hard. And I want you to understand this. And if you ever call me kid again, I will control your mind and make you slap yourself in the face so hard that you piss your pants. Do you understand me? He looks at you, Amber.

Like, are you fucking kidding me? I, um, hey, Devo, a little respect, all right? It's Uncle Joshy. He's a psychic warrior who saved us from the blink sharks. So, like, a little respect. Devo walks out of the room. I'm sorry. Yeah.

I do know that dude. I do not want him in here anymore. Every time you bring that dude in here, he makes a scene and he threatens me, which is so cool. It's like so out of line. Yeah, I'm so sorry about him. Yeah. He won't darken your doorstep anymore. Okay, see to it.

Yeah, I'm sorry, it can't be more help, but what he is asking of me, I do not know how to provide. So, uh, I appreciate that, Joshy. You all right? You're a little shucking up. I, it's just, you know, I try to keep things happy. I try to keep things. And I was right in this cloud, this cloud that I found out the aloysia Supreme. How do you go?

Exploded. Oh, yeah, that's the good stuff. They hit so right. It hits, I mean, he's a person and he's not alive anymore, but that they hit so good. And then I, you know, I. Whatever. I'm not holding grudges. He's just got a lot of growing up to do.

All right. I want to put my arm around Joshy's shoulder. Okay. And say, hey, it's all right. And I'm sorry. I'll talk to him. All right. I apologize.

Okay. I've slipped my leg behind Joshy's leg. Okay. All right. Nope. All right. We're going to take off now. Thank you for your help.

I appreciate it. Yeah, no problem. I'm going to shove Joshi over my leg. Okay. To trip. Make an arge attack roll. That's a natural. Fucking hell.

Fucking vibe check He goes Joshy Fucking got you Dog What's up now He goes flipping ass Over elbow

Across the room Into like Into a fucking Like Predinza That just shatters Under his weight And he lands on the floor

And looks up at you like That was a good one That was a really good one What's up Not me Chauncey, that was for you, dog Thanks, ma'am Happy birthday, little one

That's good To give it keeps on giving Because you can think about Laugh your ass off whenever you want Yeah, thank you And then Joshy looks at you and says Yeah, so go ahead and call the doctor Maximumfunn.org

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