The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Ethersea - Episode 41

Episode Date: June 16, 2022

Benefactor's Folly: Part Three The Coriolis crew, with Kodira in tow, infiltrate the coral tower to destroy the infernal machine at its peak. Amber is revered. Devo hums a potent tune. Zoox makes a sacred promise. Addition music in this episode: “Now You Are Here” by Sergey Cheremisinov https://soundcloud.com/sergey-cheremisinov-1; “Time Travel is Possible” and “A Life Without Pain” by Schemawound http://schemawound.com/; “Redemption” by Scott Holmes Music www.scottholmesmusic.com; and “Make it Till Dawn” by Andrew Wardlaw https://freemusicarchive.org/music/andrew-wardlaw/. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Previously, on the Adventure Zone, Ethersea, it is a vision that he is trying to send to you to communicate with you, and you see the gate. It is all that this being cares about. It's all that any of these bleached coral beings cares about is the gate. They are driven solely by instinct to produce this passage leading to another world. and then they show you the sort of crude shape of a man. You know it to be benefactor Orlean. Orlean has kind of taken over a chunk of their buddies, and they want us to get into that dome and free their friends. So we've got backup.

One structure just looms high above the trees here. It's a tower made of white coral. And it is easily four stories tall. Make a dexterity saving throw, DeVo. Come up with new animals. So tired of these motherfuckers. Hey, you're the one who decided to tie your fate to them. In its last moments, the alpha blink shark turns its gaze to you, Zooks.

And when it does, you feel, even without direct contact, you feel it's intent. You feel it communicate one last thought to you, and it is this. It falls to you now. Stop your friends. Save our world from devastation. Acknowledgement. And then it looks to you, Amber, with unbridled hatred. And then its head hangs low.

and the last blank shark is gone. Amber, you stand above the corpses of your mortal enemies. I don't know if you know that that was it, that you have slain the last blank shark, but how does it feel to have so thoroughly succeeded where so few have succeeded? Hmm. This is hard because, I mean, it's not how I would feel

about it, but I think Amber does feel a sense of, like, satisfaction every time she takes one out, and this is a nice batch combo. I don't think she recognizes the loss. Like, I think she's more practical than that. Yeah. She grew up, you know, her family's livelihood was fishing. Yeah. So, like, I don't think it hits her necessarily that, like, you know, the, you know, the ethics of this I don't think are that muddy for her Kodira Sheaves her short sword that she was wielding in battle

and she walks up to you Amber and she says Well that was weird Yeah Have you seen them before? Have I seen magical teleporting sharks before? Blank sharks, blink sharks I have not experienced blink sharks

I'll be honest I kind of thought they were like a ghost story and that you were kind of larping this whole time. Oh, wow. I bet this really closed your perception of me. It certainly does. Those things were extremely spooking. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. If you never see another one, well, I mean, if you see one and I'm not there, you're going to beef it. But I hope that this is maybe the end of it. I haven't been seen them, you know, very often, not like it used to be. well there's three less of them now so let's uh get on with it there's three three steps closer to perfection i say how are you zooks seeing seeing what you have seen i think zooks is a little shook i think um i would assume that he senses that this was an extinction event yeah and that that on the heels of

that prophecy that they made about you know Amber being the be all and end all of the race I think he's a little rocked not quite sure what to think and

maybe looking a little askance at Amber just a lot of questions now. He's got a lot of questions in his mind. Okay. That's understandable. And Devo, you are seeing this scene from up high. You had a brief brush with falling to maybe your death, but you did not, and your plan succeeded. And you in particular, although all of you can hear

it now, the same sound that you heard from your ship's tone wheel that sort of knocked you on your asses, except for Yuzu, your ass was unknocked. Unknockable. You can kind of hear it, like, in, like, reverberating through the coral. And it is not, you know, it's not nearly as loud as it was when you, like, tuned into that signal. But the closer you get to this tower and apparently the higher you get in this tower, the sort of more noticeable it becomes. What do you all do? Deva looks down at the scene and yells down. I think I'm just going to go on from here. I expect you two will attempt to follow, but this is up to you.

I'm going to go on by myself now, I think. How would we get up there? Can you drop us a rope or anything? Oh, I thought I was clear. I'm going to do, I don't want to go with you. I don't want you to come. Oh. Oh.

Hmm. Why? Well, Zooks, you have a death wish, as demonstrated by our entrance to Zocoral. And Ambera, you only care about. yourself and frankly I don't know that I like myself anymore

with you than I liked myself with the church and frankly this is probably on me but I also have a better chance I think of stopping Orlean with my powers and

if I fuck up then I assume you three will be coming behind me anyways and then you will get a chance at it but right now i think i'd rather just go on by myself all right good luck wait are you really going to let him he he will die like as he is so um so clearly reminds us at every turn he is a big boy and he can make his own decisions. And frankly, this is all so weird. This is not in my skill set. I got big arms. There's lots of people back home who pay big money for big arms. That'll be my slogan. I'm done.

And I, you know what, maybe we'll, we'll come clean up the mess after he's torn us under. So yeah, okay. All right. Well, how about some skin in the game, she says. And she jumps an outrageous, height into the air and grabs on to the coral on the side of the tower and she starts to climb. Hmm. Diva sees that and starts going. Okay. Careful.

She's like, whoa. Which one are you telling? Which one are you telling careful? Yeah, both. Okay. Okay. All right. Living let me. That's me. All right. So, Devo, you're going in? Mm-hmm. Okay, cool. You enter the tower through this entrance and the side of it, and you walk into what appears to be a sort of like wide open foyer. It's comprised of the same glowing coral as the rest of the tower. But you notice some things are a little bit different here. For one thing, there's apparently some living coral beings in here who have not been sort of integrated into the tower. There's maybe like a dozen of them all scattered around the room.

Still, oh, wait, are they bleached or are they like colorful? They're bleached, but they are like, you know, they are mobile. They are living individual forms, unlike the trees and the tower, which have been sort of, you know, shaped and the dome, which have been sort of shaped to fulfill these different purposes. Got it. And most of them are like sitting and, you know, kind of cradling their heads in pain. and most of them are positioned around this room's other sort of unique feature.

All around you in this foyer are ring-shaped coral structures. In varying states of disrepair, I would say only a handful of them are complete rings. The others have either collapsed or were never finished in the first place. And at the rear of the room, there is a spiral staircase that leads upward. through the ceiling and into another floor. And when those coral beings see you enter, I think that they, to the best of their ability, kind of like crab walk backwards away from you.

Devo, so we can hear the sound, right? That sound is getting louder, you said? Yeah, and you can definitely hear it from the, coming from the floor above you through that, entrance from the spiral staircase. Devo starts singing under his breath. Okay. And makes his way up the spiral staircase.

Okay. You reach the first step of the spiral staircase and you hear some scuffling behind you and then you hear Kodira shout. How often do people tell you you're an asshole? Oh, fairly constant at this point. Okay. Yes, I was trying to, why are you following me?

Oh, because the city of Founders Wake is clearly under threat, and it's my job to make sure that that doesn't happen. If you can believe it, there's lots of people who want to do what's right for this world, and it's not just you. And two of those people, you left behind down at the bottom of this tower. Okay. And do you have advanced training in resisting being mind controlled by a very powerful member of the church? Did you go through, you know, like 17 years of this as well? Because the last time that I faced Orlean with Zooks and Amber, Zooks was mind controlled to point a crossbow at me.

So can you, you're going to resist this? I don't know, I don't know, man. Give me a shot. Oh, Jesus. Okay. Benevolence. Okay. Um, just stay close to me and if... No, come on. Take over my mind. Let's go. I'm trying to cut back on this, but you stay close to me. I'm inviting you to do it. Listen to me. Please. Sometimes I'm... Oh, my God. I... Sorry. I thought he was about to get owned and I had to see.

Telling people what to do is... I'm trying to protect you. I know, but I'm a big girl, too. I just want to see you. But if I tell you not to go, then you will fight me. But if I piss you off, then I was hoping you would let me go. Hey. Oh, hey.

God, damn it. Hey. Oh, no, I just wanted to tell you good luck. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to hang back here and while you go do your thing. No, you can't hang back. If you're going to come, he's really strong.

You probably hang for a while. Stay. Yeah. Please, just listen for you. two seconds. Stay close to me. Okay. Now, I have a question. If Orlin tries anything, if Orlin tries anything, focus on me singing. Do not listen to him. Listen to me, okay? Okay. I have, I have one question that wants you think about it. Uh-huh. If you fuck up trying to control

Godira's mind, will your head explode like in scanners? I'm not going to try to control Godira's minds. He's afraid to. He knows you'll lose. Yeah, and I don't want to clean up brains. He was all like, have you ever heard something powerful try to control your mind? And it's like, yeah. Like, how about a god that, like, I brought around on you? Hey, watch this, forearms for climbing. Let's go. Wait, are you swinging from the spiral staircase?

I'm not even tired. I'm not even tired. I was just thinking to hang back and you go do your thing. And then if you need us, we're there to come riding in. Are you all coming? Zooks. Hey, y'all coming? I'm already on the stairs, yes.

Zooks, please. You are very anisasis, as respectfully as I personally can manage. You are incredibly susceptible to mind control. It has been demonstrated several times now. I need you to focus on sense of self. Please, please, please, Zooks, please. Try to retain your Zooksness. That is the nicest thing.

you have ever said to me. I am going, I am Zooks. I am Zook, we're trying to sneak up on the guy. You're not so loud. When you shout that, Zooks, a couple of the sort of down and out coral beings in this room

start sort of crawling toward you. No, stay back. Reaching out toward you. Okay, we need to move down before this becomes creepier than it is. Yeah. All right.

Come on. I'll lead the way. They are reaching for the hymn of your garment, Zooks. I am Zooks. We're moving. As you are like whispering that, Zooks, you see these two coral beings try to climb up on their feet and sort of fail. And then you see one of them touch the ground. And it does something, some sort of magic action that you can't quite understand.

and a sort of spire appears, just like a six-inch tall spire of coral comes up out of the ground, and there's little sort of barbs sticking out of the left and right side of it in like very sort of specific looking intervals. Do you know what this is? Is it their penis?

You know, I'm so young, I haven't quite gotten to that phase yet of discovery. Okay, I would like to make, Like an insight, would it insight check? Perception check? Investigation, probably. Investigate? Not history?

No. This isn't a historical six inch spire that just appeared out of the ground. No, yeah. This is something else. But I would think he would know. Okay. All right. Investigation.

That would be an 11. All right. You get right up on this thing, and it is clear. that they are trying, this coral being is trying to communicate with you. But it can also tell that you are sort of stymied by this. Is it the bleached color or is? It is. Everything in here is the bleached color.

The other one, the one that didn't create this spire, looks at the other and sort of nods. And then it holds a hand out that glows very brightly for a moment. and then that coral being falls and his body starts to slowly integrate into the floor of the tower. And then you look at this spire and you all can read it. It is a language and this other coral being has just cast comprehend languages on you with the last of its power. Oh, sick. And this spire, as you read it, it says Orlean, receiver.

Yes. Oh, no, Griffin, I feel terrible that one of the Coral beings gave their life to something so... That's so incredibly obvious. Yeah. Hey, yes, we know this. It makes another spire, and it says, are you helpers? If by helpers, you mean, like, are we going to stop or lean? Then yes.

It looks up at you, Zooks. Yeah. Would touching the spires enhance the communication? No. Between Zooks and him? You can read it pretty clearly, and you can tell that it just understands your, you know, telepathic field thing that Zook has going on. Okay. Well, then I'm going to draw closer to the other coral being and nod and say,

Yes, we are helpers. How can we help you? It creates another spire and a smaller one next to it. And you all read, Orlean creates broadcast machine. And the smaller spire says, send a message to world left behind. And then it looks at the small spire and collapses it and creates an even smaller one that says sin's command. We need to go. Whatever this is, this cannot be good.

Uh, he's a little. He must be sending it back to the, the lands. Everybody left? The surface? Why would he be sending messages to the surface? Because harmonine. It whips up another spire. And it says, Orlean has regret.

So terribly sad. Uh-huh. What is Orlean regret? It makes a very small spire that just says unknown. Do I know? Um... Listen, here's what I said, Giddo. Yeah.

I got a passive insight of 18. Am I like, oh, he always seemed kind of fucking... off. Yeah, I mean, okay, I will let you roll an insight check. 24 total. Jesus, okay. It's a 16 plus 8. Yeah, that's exceptional.

Okay, I will give you this. Something has always been off with Orlean beyond his sort of asshole nature. And I think you are specifically attuned to this because, like, he essentially helped raise you in the cloister, right? he has always had a sort of sorrow about him that you never quite understood. And that sorrow always seemed to be lessened whenever he would teach you all about like hominine history and what life was like in hominine before everything fell apart. and I don't know that you have any more to go off than that

but when it says, you know, Orlean has regret so terribly sad that is, that is I think what comes to mind. Dad, I know what you're sort of like seeming to feel like you're realizing, obviously, but like do you want to talk about what you're thinking for the listeners? Uh, no. Not at this time.

Then can I do a knowing chuckle too and then later be like, I knew it. Dad used to do this when we'd watch movies. No, hold on. I want to air this laundry, dad. Dad used to do this when we watch movies. He would be like, oh, okay. And he'd be like, what is it? And he's like, you'll see.

And when I was like 12, I'm like, my dad knows everything. My dad, and now as an adult with kids, he's fucking bullshit. Dudes. No, no, no, no. Okay, I just didn't want to derail anything that, you know, it just seems to me that he obviously left someone behind, that someone didn't, you know, or something. I mean, obviously. Someone or something or somewhere or some did. Some who?

He's communicating with somebody. He's trying to communicate with somebody. So obviously, not everybody got killed by the storm. I mean, that's, well, there's a whole hominine. Yeah, there's a, like, floating lane. of hominine or some shit that's like out there in the world hominine survived to some degree the rich nobody knows nobody knows where it is yeah but the rich and powerful of hominine there was a plan uh in place that would save them but not necessarily all the hominians my guess was that the

regret is that he you know did this plan and not that one it nods as you as you all sort of discuss what it has told you. And then it climbs over to you, Amber, and it makes a spire. And it says, are you here to open the passage? Oh, yeah.

Zook's already opened the passage. He used his, I don't know, he communicated with the cora, I think, and he opened the passage. That's how he got in here. It adds to the spire. And now the sentence ends with to the new world.

Oh, dang. No, I don't think so. I mean, I'm willing to try. I mean, if they're talking to me. They are, yeah, they are specifically talking to Amber right now. No, I hadn't planned on it. I mean, this one's fine. I'm ish.

I don't know. It makes a new spire, and it is looking pretty dog-tired at this point. And the new spire says, this world collapses as the last world collapsed. It makes another one and is barely moving now. And it says, you will become the new remnant. Vestages were the last remnant. You will be the next remnant.

Okay. Or counterpoint, this world, maybe we make it not collapse. And we just continue and regrow, you know, like a plant, the periods of dormancy. And it grows back. And we do this instead of just being like, well, what are you going to do? Let's move on. The other bleached, the coral beings in this room are, like, climbing towards you, Devo, as you are saying all this. And they look kind of aggressive.

Oh, okay. Hey. Okay. Let's be cool. I'm just saying that this is also an option. You all have clearly had it tough, and I understand that you are a little upset. We are helpers.

Remember not here to fight you? We're going to stop Berlin, and then maybe we'll figure out from there about the passage and all of this stuff, okay? Roll a persuasion check. I'm pretty good at that. An 18 total. Okay.

This holds off the advance, But the one who is communicating with you is just looking up into your eyes intently, Amber. I don't know what you want me to say. We're helpers. Yeah, we'll help. We'll help. You see the coral in its face kind of contort, almost in a grin. And then it very gently lays its head on the ground and then gets consumed into the floor.

and the spires follow along with it. And Kodira walks up to you all and she says, Okay, so I'm going to hang back just in case these guys get froggy again because the last thing y'all are going to need while you're facing down a sort of mind-controlling megalomaniac is action from the rear. so you let me take care of this situation

and she gestures to just like everything in the room and she says and holler if you get in a bit above your head oh uh godira um you might have been speaking metaphorically but uh you should find a way to plug your ears um i know amber can do this and i can do we can communicate psychically and I'm pretty sure Zooks can do this too. But what you don't want to hear is Orleans' voice. She looks at you, Devo, and she's fucking annoyed.

And you see a red eye appear on her forehead. Okay. And she says, I think I know a thing or two about which voices to listen to and which ones to ignore. But I appreciate your concern. Okay. Fine. Yeah, sure. Okay. And Diva starts up the stairs. Okay, before we move any further, can someone, I'm trying really hard. I'm just not a very smart person. That's not true. Well, and just in this sort of kind of thing, I get very in my head about what my character is doing.

And so sometimes I don't, it's hard for me to do that and comprehend like narrative stuff is something I've realized about myself. as someone doing this, can someone sort of like encapsulate for me your take on what is happening right now? If I may. That's probably better than, yes. If I just, I don't need a Griffin level understanding, just a Travis and Clint level understanding. This is how I understand it, right? So this is escalated quite a bit, right? What all began as guidance died, right? And we suspect that this was a forced move and not a free will move, right? The person that we suspected that this would be is Orlean. Orlean is very strong, and on the run, we are after Orlean, right?

And we are given, we got a tracer spike to go hunt him down. And when we arrived, we found that he is working with those beings, with the dried coral. The dried coral had some battleships outside. We thought to protect the place. but actually they could not get in without destroying, you know, basically their home. They told us, hey, this dude Orlean rolled up, said he would help us to build this passage, but actually he had his own thing to do and he's taking control of us and we want you to stop him. Now, we also know from Zooks' conversation with the blink sharks, the blink sharks were of the opinion that whatever this passage was or whatever this would do,

that Amber would be the one to trigger it, to open it, and it would be like the end of their world. Be that this world or what, we do not know. But they wanted Zooks to kill Amber rather than have Amber activate this passage. Or have Zooks annihilate basically all of the white coral. Yeah, that something about this passage was not great. And I think you would know that like rumors of, like a promised land of an escape from this ruined world that would lead you to like a world that had not been destroyed by magic is like a thing people talk about and for whatever reason.

We have also heard this from Tolliver and the place with the endangered animals where he was like nothing that we do here matters because we're working towards moving to this other world. Right. And so this world is dying and we need to find a way out of this. this world to the next. And I think Amber would be confused because, like, this is the second group of, of beings in this world who have thought that you were going to be the one to, for whatever reason, open the door to this new world. And I don't, I don't think Amber would have any fucking clue why they thought that. So, Zooks is staring at the spot where the coral beans kind of melted back into the floor and the spires melted into the floor. and he kneels down and using his power and his connection to the dead coral, I think he tries to make a spike of his own that says promise. And I mean, he has been watching his species mates, you know, die and get tormented.

and, you know, be controlled. And I think he's pretty sick of it. And I think this, his purpose, I think he sees this as being something that in one way or another, he's going to try to fulfill the promise to these coral beans. Okay. Make a constitution save. Well, that's a nine. It's hard for you to do this, even with the sort of, um,

This enchantment that is very quickly fading now that these two coral beings are gone. And you feel and see a bit of your color drain out. And you take nine points of necrotic damage. But you do create a spire. And you can tell that it does say promise it is crude. I think it's much larger than the other spire. You probably didn't have any control over that. The R is backwards.

Yeah, right. It looks like the little rascals logo. The P's not, you know, capitalized. But it is there and it is incredibly colorful. It is, it is prismatic. And you see all of the coral beings in this room sort of sit up straight when you create this. and they see it, and you hear them just kind of humming and glowing a little bit brighter than they were a minute ago. Well, every artist loves to be appreciated by their audience.

So thank you all very much. No, I think that's very sweet. Cool of it. Hey, it's John Moe. Join me on Depress Mode for conversations on how mental health shapes our life. This week, David Sedaris, with stories of his late father that he's finally willing to tell. I think there's a difference between, you know, a good person and a good character. Like, Hugh is a good character, my boyfriend here. And my father was another one of those people.

He was a really good character. But he wasn't a good person. Depression Mode with John Moe, wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Jesse Thorne, the founder of Maximum Fun, and I have a special announcement. I'm no longer embarrassed by my brother, my brother, and me. You know, for years, each new episode of this supposed advice show was a fresh insult, a depraved jumble of erection jokes, ghost humor, and frankly, this is for the best, very little actionable advice. But now as they enter their twilight years, I'm as surprised as anyone to admit that it's gotten kind of good. Justin, Travis, and Griffin's witticisms are more refined,

like a humor column in a fancy magazine. And they hardly ever say, save Bazinga anymore. So after you've completely finished listening to every single one of all of our other shows, why not join the McElroy Brothers every week for my brother, my brother, and me? Do you all, as you are going up this spiral staircase, I'm going to say it leads into sort of just a big kind of hollow chamber. Yes, we take an eight hour long rest. I was going to say, I don't think you have time for an eight hour long rest, but if you want to just kind of like kick it on the steps for a few minutes and catch your breath. This would be, I think, the time to do so. So you're thinking like short rest? Yes. Yeah, let's have a brief conversation.

And you can also heal up. I'm not going to worry about hit dice. No, no, well, do you recover keypoints when you take a short rest? Yeah. You do. I do. I don't know. Let me take a short rest and see if they fucking recover. Hold on. I have a button for this. So, Devo, you know better than anybody. Who do you think he's trying to get a hold of? Listen, is this one not surprised you? I didn't take a great interest in his personal life. Didn't maybe ask questions about him as much as, well, I basically hate him, and he, I'm almost certain, hates me.

and so statistically yes right this is yes I get it people do not like me yes well played and so

here is this thing though here is what's throwing me off and I've been thinking about this all the way here I don't think he's evil so much as he is self-centered

and self-focused and narcissistic and an asshole. And so I... Wait, are you saying what I think you're saying? No, he's not my dad. He's your dad? Oh, okay. I was going to.

I thought for sure. No, he's not my dad. I'm just saying that... Uncle. Maybe an uncle. He's not my uncle. I mean, maybe in the kind of family way of like, he was like an uncle to me. But, you know, he...

Mostly what I'm... saying is, maybe we can talk to him. Can I ask you another question? And this, I really just kind of need to know. Because, well, if you need to take him out, I don't know what we're walking into, but if you need to take him out,

could you? Do you mean, like, magically or, like, could I kill him and it wouldn't hurt my conscience? Well, I hope it. How much? It hurts your conscience, Dexter. I'm just saying, do you, will you be able to do it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, all right, come on. Oh, wait, hold on. Oh, just felt my vibe refreshed. That's delicious. Let me also just say, if you all got to fight him, if you have the option, punch him in the throat first. Right in the voice box. This is a good place to start.

He's not so good at, like, the hand-to-hand combat. So if we can just, like, larynx, then he should be pretty easy to just, like, whoop him around the bunch at this point. Now, I'm not that familiar with, you know, humanoid anatomy. But the throat is the part down, the reproductive. Oh, up there higher. It's right under the chin, but above the chest, right down the middle, front of neck. So the mouth hole and then down about six, eight inches.

Yeah, yes. Okay. Thereabouts. Done deal. Let's go get him. Six to eight inches feels long to me. Yeah. That feels like a long.

Three inches. No, here's the thing we've never discussed it, Orlean. He's a giraffe. He's a giraffe man. Yeah, there's lots of sort of, most people here have sort of, you know, fish piecing features. But for whatever reason. He's the one giraffe. He's the one giraffe, man.

Okay. So we're just kind of set on going and snuffing him. No, even though they said he was kind of sad. Stoogs, I just said, talk to him. Yeah, I just meant if we, I need to know the situation in case we end up in the, you know, fail to prepare and you prepare to fail. I just want to know that you just makes the sun. It's good, right? Oh, it's very good.

I was working on it last night I was trying to fall asleep. Here's another one I came up with. You ever for this? Yeah. Tragedy plus comedy equals time. That one doesn't make as much sense. Do we have TED Talks under water? Think about it.

All right, let's go. Okay. All right. You all finish climbing the spiral staircase, or rather you pass through another floor as you go up the spiral staircase. Yeah, it's probably pretty exhausting. You all enter through the floor of the final chamber in this tower. You look up, you can see the ceiling above you.

There are no more sort of stairs going up, save for the spiral stairs that you're on right now kind of continue on in like a diagonal up to a platform, a coral platform that's maybe 30 feet above you. It's a sort of wide, semicircular platform at the very top of the room. And on that platform, from your position, you see, first and foremost, you see Orlean's ship. It's that same sort of small spherical vessel that you saw when you first encountered Orlean back inside of the big old clam. And it seems to be cradled in some sort of coral structure that kind of boggles the mind.

All of these different sort of branches of coral that this ship is nestled in kind of branch off of it and curve upward straight up into the air. Like lightning rods or it's sort of laid out in a pattern kind of like a pipe working. It is not an actual pipe organ, though. He is not fucking Gannendorf. And as you all enter the room, you hear that sort of formerly ear-splitting tone coming from these rods. You can see them vibrating. And you recognize it as the sound that concussed you on board your ship earlier. And standing inside of his ship, you see through the viewpoints.

Port Orlean. And he has his back to you, but as you all enter, well, actually, are you all trying to get the drop on him? Yes, I think so. But, well, if our initial move is to try to communicate with it. Yeah, then we probably want to like not surprise them. We go sneaking in. Yeah. Yeah.

Devo, anytime Devo is not talking, I want to make this clear, Griffin. He is singing under his breath. You're singing. Got you, got you, got you. Okay. Is it like the door open? Like, is it open? It is closed. It is closed. I think we knock on the hatch. Really? I don't know. I'm not going to lie. I am unsure what to do at this point.

Because I'm tempted for the three of us just to try to push it. the whole ship off of the platform, but I think this is maybe aggressive. I have a slightly modified solution. Okay. If you want to knock, why don't you let me knock with mage hand? Oh, from a distance.

This is good. I love this. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Ding ditch. Let's go. Get this. It's a cantrip.

I don't use any spell slots. Okay. Now are spell slots like holes that you have for spells in your body? Yes, I have spell holes. Oh, that's weird. It's weird to just find this out now, but okay. And I have unlimited spell holes. No, you don't.

I don't know about that. No, I don't know about this. You have a very specific number of spell holes that increases when you level up. All right, so he manifests mage hand. What's that look like? I think he goes with, I think he goes with, uh, um, Something will have a little substance to it. So I think it's little hermit crabs.

And then they slam those hermit crabs against a metal door. And they got the little shells. No, but I mean, there's a lot of them. So they don't have to die to do it. They don't have to. But they go, they do the old. And see what happens. He turns and sees a fist made out of hermit crabs.

and is sort of taken aback for a second. And then as the fist sort of dissipates and the crabs go crawling all over hither and yawn, he looks down the stairs and sees the three of you at the bottom. And he says, yeah, that tracks. You had to come right now. Yes? What are you doing here? We could ask you the same question.

Oh, I love it when people say that. I meant that literally in this case. Oh, yes. Yeah, we did come to ask questions, basically, yeah. What I'm doing here is very personal. Okay. And does not involve the three of you or anyone else. I...

Here's the same. You and I, uh, we have history. not great. So, I'm just going to come right out and say it. Hand of guidance is dead. And it appears to us that this was done through manipulation and mind control.

And there are very few people in Founders Wake who are powerful enough to do this. And so we think, ah, we need to talk to Orlean about this. then we find out that you have run away. Sorry. You're telling the truth. Yes. Oh, was that the question or a statement?

I guess a statement. Sorry, that's, oh, that's, that is too bad. She was an ambitious woman and... Okay. She will be missed by some, I assume. See, this is the problem. Can I tell you the problem, Mirling? Yeah, I get it.

Honestly, I get it. If I get to say to you, I get it. To me? Yeah, okay. I get it. This is the problem. I keep trying so hard to not be an asshole, and then everyone else is an asshole.

And, like, I, like. His own father. It's not my father. This is not my father. I'm sorry. Yeah, I know. So I came here and, like, at first I was like, I'm going to fucking kill him. And then I was like, you know what?

I'm going to talk to him and give him a chance, not just rushing there and be like, this guy is evil. And then I tell you guys, since then you're like, whoa, whew, and it's like, okay, like, you're not. It's not what I sounded like. It's kind of like what you really. You're not like, do you want us to, like, fight you? Are you, I'm going to give you a chance now, right? Before we like fuck all this up and like start fighting you and, you know, make whatever you're trying to do stop working,

or at the very least cause a lot of trouble for you, right? Do you want to just like tell us what's up, not be an asshole about it, not be all like mysterious and this doesn't concern you? And instead just like, tell us what's up. I am going to correct an error in judgment that, has sent the course of my life spiraling well off track. You three are going to fling yourselves off of this tower. And I need all of you to make charisma saving throws.

With advantage. Sorry? Because I am, uh, been humming counter charm, um, whenever I'm not talking. Ooh. Okay. I was wondering what. that was. Is this a new thing? This is. Thank you, level seven.

Yes. Me and any friendly creatures within 30 feet that can hear me gain advantage on saving throws against being frightened or charmed. Okay. Everyone roll with advantage. I'm seeing a lot of low number. Not from Devo. Devo crushed it.

I got a nine, but I'm rolling with advantage. That second one is a 16. But wait, what was the thing? Perisma, save. So it's a negative one from May 15. That tracks.

And what was Zook's best number? 18. Yeah. You, Amber, and Zooks, I think you both feel this sort of like morbid instinct to do exactly what he said. But it is drowned out by the song, the Devo is humming. Which, by the way, is blue skies. Okay. Oh.

He looks down at UDivo and smiles and says, well, that's new. And he's going to make an intelligent saving throw. Oh, okay. Trying to beat a 14. That is 13 plus 4, a 17. Okay, so he's going to take half damage on 7D6 as the psychic lance pierces his brain. So, let's see, 76. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

That's a lot of dice. What is the spell called? It's a psychic lance. Jesus Christ. So he's going to take eight points of damage. Okay. Psychic Lance also one of the most popular entertainers in Las Vegas. Yeah, he's amazing.

He knew my birthday. It's actually called, like, Rallathon Psychiclant, but I'm going to call it Guy. I didn't suck it glanced. Okay. All right. I learned it from her book. As he smiles, he is sort of looking at you with like max condescension.

And then you see him almost like physically get hit with this wave of psychic energy. And he like has to catch himself to keep from falling down. And he holds his head and says, oh, okay. This is new as well. Okay. Well, I'm not doing this anymore. And he waves his hand forward, and the 30-foot diagonal staircase of coral

explodes outward, sending a shower of massive coral chunks down on the three of you. I need you all to make dexterity saving throws. Oh, it was almost done. the 20. Oh, I got a six. Ten was on the 20. I rolled to that too, maybe.

12. Jesus Christ, guys. You're the one. You can't be like... You made the next saving throw. Oh, no. But you did a bad job rolling. You did a bad job with the numbers.

Enormous chunks of jagged coral fly down toward the three of you, and you, they come so quickly. And you do not have a chance to get out of the way of them. And you all feel the crushing weight of these chunks of debris land flat on top of you. And then you awaken like from a dream. And you are standing in front of the coral. staircase and you see him reeling backwards and he looks down at the three of you and says, I'm not doing this. And he waves his hand outward and the staircase explodes outward sending large chunks of coral

sailing down at the three of you. I need you all to make dexterity saving throws. Griffin, I'm losing. I think I have a glitch in my recording. Yeah, it feels like you just said that. Mine wasn't that much better. But this time, before it goes, I do cast Bartik inspiration on myself. Oh, yeah, I think absolutely you have a moment in the window here.

I don't know that you know exactly what's going on, but you definitely have time to send out a wave of Bartik inspiration, if you so choose. Okay, wait a minute, hold on. Paint the picture for me. How much higher is ordering? He is 30 feet up. Okay, cool. All right.

So, dexterity saving throw again? Yes. And with my Bartak Inspiration, 16 total for me. Okay, are you giving, but wait, before you roll, do you give everyone Bartic Inspiration? Oh, I don't know. I only have three. Yeah.

What? Yeah. Okay. So expend two of your Bartic Inspiration. Zook, you're not going to need it. That's a 24. 24. Amber?

You got a 10 plus 515. Okay. Do you want to add your bardic inspiration to that or let it ride? I think 15's good. It is just good enough. I knew it. You feel like you've just had some sort of premonition or something because you know what he's about to do. And you know the trajectory of the coral chunks that he's about to send sailing down in your direction.

And you dive out of the way and these massive, jagged coral boulders smashed down just where you are standing in a large pile. And the three of you sort of climb to your feet after jumping out of the way and you are unaffected. And he sees this through his viewport and he goes, hmm. And then he turns around and walks away from the viewpoint. And now he is still inside of his ship attached to this coral broadcast apparatus on this platform 30 feet up. But there is no staircase leading up there anymore. Zook turns Amber and Devo and says, So it's safe to assume we've moved beyond the negotiation phase of our plan?

We're just not going to talk about like the time jump we just had? Okay. Yeah, no, we're past that point. It's time to fuck. and, like, killing. He tried to kill us, right? Try to make us jump off, didn't try to squish us. Yeah, let's fuck him up.

Did you all feel that? Oh, yes. Yeah? Yeah. I just thought it was deja vu. I want to do perception, a perception check to see if I can tell of anything that is awry. Okay. And then a 12.

You got a 12? I mean, you definitely picked up on the apparent premonition. that you just had. The coral pile behind you is still like sort of rattling, settling, maybe. But the source of it, I mean, okay, Amber, I think you're maybe a little bit attuned to this stuff in a different way, just because of the power that you have. Something's up with that signal. Something's up with that noise that you heard on the ship, and something is up with just

the sort of ambient tone that those towers are giving up. Yo, the person he's sending a message to is himself back in time. Oh, boy. And as you say that, Amber, I think you realize that the coral pile behind you is not just settling after flying in your direction. It is moving. and it is reforming. And the banisters of that staircase stretch out to the side

and form sort of smaller spires that branch out behind it. And one particularly large piece of coral floats to the front of the pile. And you see a sort of rigid line of coral lineup right behind it elongating a few feet backwards to create what looks like a rib cage. And then you see this shape fully take form.

And standing behind the three of you between you and the staircase is a massive coral dragon. Let's roll for initiative. Maximum fun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist-owned. Audience-supported.