The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Ethersea - Episode 5

Episode Date: August 19, 2021

The Gallery Job: Part Five Our three intrepid Etherseafarers have survived their first gig, though, boy howdy, it was a close one. With Lux in hand, they go shopping for a gently used ship to call home. Join us for the start of a new adventure in the undersea metropolis of Founders’ Wake! For more info on this new setting, give a listen to our Prologue mini-series (or our special, abridged recap!) to hear how the Ethersea first took form. Additional music in this episode: "The Elevator Bossa Nova" by Bensound https://www.bensound.com Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Previously, on the Adventure Zone, Ethersea. Back, Skittles, get to a ship. Now, I do not know where Emery is. He may be dead. Let's do an old Wild West quick draw. You go to throw your net over onto Guthrie, but you are just a fraction of a moment too slow as he draws a hand crossbow

and puts a bolt right in your chest. And he goes in the recall pod, and you all watch it, zip away. All right, you weird, son of a bitch, it's time to wake up. As you jam that strong yum nut spice into his smelling holes, the bolt is loosed enough for you to remove it. By the authority of the chaperones, this vessel is ordered to follow us into ducking procedures with Founders Wake. I need you and your friends to follow. Follow me. I'm here to bring you to the curator. He owes you an explanation.

We've just returned from going to the museum where the stuff was. Guthrie blew up the other ship, at least it appears that way. It killed that other captain. Back in Skittles, the octopus, came back with us, but Guthrie got away in the escape pod. When we returned, we were approached by the paramilitary group, and then they brought us into the main hub of the dock, where we were met by an emissary of the curator who said that the curator was waiting to speak to us. So the next few minutes are a flurry of activity, a fleet of dock workers set upon the dreams of Debra, beginning the extensive repairs required after your dog fight and your turtle fight, all under the barking orders of the fancy man who... I thought we agreed on food. Fish fight. Fish, well, no, it was a, okay, yeah, fine.

It was a fish fight, but then there was a turtle fight. See, this is why it's confusing. You're probably not going to fight a dog under the eition. Fish fight. So Beck and Skittles are apprehended by the chaperones with five sets of handcuffs total. Zooks, you are placed in a wheelchair and hooked up to a tank of fluid sort of hanging off its back. And moments later, Zooks, you are revived. You aren't dead, but you were unconscious. You are coming too, as you and your party, now led by this huge dude in the black suit, are taken up the Crystal Ascension and into the conservatory. And this tier of the city, I don't know if any of you have really spent a whole lot of time here. It is unlike the others. It is this lush, well-tended, grassy park, basically. There are these pristine white, buildings that sit nestled between these gentle rolling hills. There's galleries and museums and a

concert hall and sort of the biggest building here is the headquarters of the Benevolent Parish. But the building that you all are being led to by this dude in the suit isn't quite as fancy as all that. It's just this sort of unassuming squat tower by the salt glass exterior wall overlooking the ravine outside. And this guy, the suit ushers you in and you find yourself in an office with the same, you know, wide, oceanic view. And there's a wild-haired, bushy-bearded man seated at a wide, messy desk. And he waves off your guide and he walks around the desk to greet you all.

And he says, hello, hello, come on in, come in, come in. Can I get you something to drink? Walter. Devo turns to Amber and Zooks and says, Let me handle this. Hello, my name is Jack Noir. I'm a private detective. I'm sorry for the confusion.

I was hired by the CERN family to investigate a Brynar named Guthrie, who they suspect of being a murderer and all around bad person. And so we went undercover to work with him. And so you see everything we did was in the pursuit of law and order. And now, if you will excuse us, we will get out of your hair.

Do you turn, do you turn to get out of his hair? Yes. Okay. Of which, of which there is a lot. Yeah. Uh, yeah. First of all, the curator looks at the three of you, specifically, you, Jack Noir. Jack Noir, private detective.

Very confused. Make a, make a deception role for me there. Divo. That's a gnat one. Oh, that's so good. Indeed it was. I love it when the number's back of reality. Okay, then you know what?

I was going to say, the curator looks at you and he's confused. The curator is not confused. He gestures to the guy who led you up here. And he actually says, docent, can you? And this guy, the docent, grabs you by the, the shoulders and says, why don't you have a seat?

And, okay. The curator said, is that your real voice? No, this is my real voice. I mean, yes, this is the voice of Jack Noir. Private detective.

I should, I should start with this. None of you are in trouble. Oh, this is, oh, okay. This is good. Here comes a surprise. He walks. over to a teapot and pours a couple, you know what, he pours around and he just like sets it on

his desk and he sits down and he says, no, I brought you up here to explain. If anything, I am the one who should apologize to you for the terrible inconvenience that you all have faced. And here I am inconveniencing you bringing me into my office when I'm sure the three of you probably just want to, you know, go have a fish stick and a nap. But. Because this does sound good, yes, a fish stick would be. Oh, I miss them. Are the three of you okay? Are you hurt?

Are you injured? Well, Zuchs was hurt very bad, yes. I'm fine. I'm okay. I can see this. I am very sorry. I need to tell you the truth about Guthrie, although I am sure you have figured out some of it on your own.

Guthrie is Guthrie is a source for my collections here As you know I am almost single-handedly responsible for collecting the relics of the

surface world and Guthrie has proven a very prolific donor to my galleries and for that I say donor he has been handsomely paid but the veracity of his works have

come under some scrutiny lately, let's say. And so we have had him investigated by a detective not unlike yourself, Mr. Noir. Oh, he's, my name is Devo Le Maine. Oh, right. Jack Noir was just, here's a figment that I created. The character looks at you, Amber, and says, I'm very sorry. I did not ask your name. Are we still? Do I do a fun one? This is up to you. If you want to do a fun one, you can. I have drops the phone one, but whatever you want. My name's Kurtz Figgums. Roll a deception check.

19 minus one. It's good to meet you, Kirch. Ms. Figgums? Just Kirch is fine. Okay. Kurtz Kurtz Devo,

Zooks. I should show you something. Now I decided Miss Figgums. All right. Miss Figgums, Zooks, Vivo, let me show you something. Dosen, and the guy in the suit walks into a

side room and brings in a painting, a big painting, in a sort of gold-embossed frame. And I don't know how much of a, I guess, Amber or Devo, you all might be familiar with, you know, some surface world culture, particularly you, Amber, I'm saying as, you know, you lived there. But this painting is, you recognize it. Like, without a history role or anything like that, you know what this is. It is a very, very famous. It is a very famous piece of art by the painter's Sable Chorosol. He says, this is we have learned not the genuine article and in fact Guthrie was making his way out to the gallery

where you all faced your misfortune not to recover the works of art located there but rather to destroy them so that his malfeasance his deception would not be uncovered so that's kind of why that happened and we had an and could have said something about it,

could have probably arrested him on suspicion before he set out on your ill-fated journey. But we were, we wanted to be certain. And because of that, you all have faced such hardships, and I am genuinely very sorry. This, so you waited, and because of this, Zupes almost died, and more than this, a man that a new friend of mine cared very much about did die. And now a child is on her own because you waited.

He looks aghast when you say that. He says, I did not know about. Gussri killed a man named Emery, leaving a child to fend for herself. he stands and whispers something in the docent's ear and he nods and walks off and he says I will make sure that this child is not hassled by the chaperones and I'm very sorry to hear about that I please have it taken to Brasser Sheldam I will I will do that you have my word The octopus too

There's an octopus? Yes, is the octopus. I love octopus. He's a very good guy. Make sure he goes to Brussels seldom as well. Are we, I don't want to be rude, but I don't necessarily care if I am. Are we done? This is a good question.

He says, I want to make sure that you all are compensated for your hardship. because I cannot help but feel partly responsible for them. And he walks over to his desk and he opens up a drawer and he picks up a clipboard and he turns it and he slides it towards you. And he says, I am willing to compensate the three of you handsomely. 25 luck to be specific. But for this, I would only ask one thing and that is for your discretion. I would ask you to sign this non-disclosure agreement that says you will keep what happened to you on your adventure, if we could call it that a secret. The works that are in our galleries are incredibly important to the future of our society.

And though Guthrie submitted certain counterfeits, not everything we have is phony baloney. and I worry that if this story got out, then that would become the narrative. So I'm willing to offer you 25 lucks for your silence. And he slides the clipboard towards you. We need, could you please give us a second to discuss this in private? Of course. Here, have the room. And he stands up and he walks out of the room.

I am very new to money. Is this a lot of money? I have absolutely no idea. Is this a lot? I mean, for me, who's sort of... I'm on the unemployment spectrum, I would say. It is a considerable sum. Yeah, I think we could probably, you know, scrounge a bit more, Kepa.

You know, it occurs to me. Zuchs, you was the one most affected by this in a very painful way. And taking this money means that you would be unable to pursue any kind of legal recourse against gusory. I do not think this is our decision to make entirely. What, how are you, what are your thoughts? Whatever you want. Whatever you two. Zeus, you seem so sad.

I'm having a great deal of trouble. Wrapping my head around what's been going on for the last few days. I, I thought I was dead. And it was not a pleasant reminder. of what being dead is like. That on top of the fact that, you know, Guthrie's the one that told me not to stick a weapon in somebody's face. And the minute I didn't stick a weapon in somebody's face,

I got shot and almost killed. And I didn't like it. And I'm, I'm, I don't know what to think. So whatever you two want, I would just say make it divisible by three so we don't have an argument about splitting up the money. Maybe 27.

Well, that's why not 30, you know? Or 24. 30 feels clean. 30 feels clean, yes. And I was thinking we could use this money to get the ship so that we could get jobs. so then we would not need to split it. We would use the money.

I assume is this enough money? Investing in us. Yes. Is this enough money to get a ship? I do not. I honest to God, I have no idea. I can answer it. 25 is enough to get you a ship. Maybe not, you know, heated seats.

Maybe not a Bose bassy sound system in it. Maybe a leak or two. It might be a leak or two. So a premium pre-owned vehicle, is what you're telling us. Yes. Yes. This is within the price range sort of outlined by Mona. Not a lot of, 25 would not give you much to chop and screw it with, but it would be enough

to sort of satisfy the basic requirement of employment at the bluespan broker. And I'm sure they've got that stuff that you, you know, smear on a screen and it becomes watertight that that guy sells. Yes. You can scotch. You can scotch guard this whole thing. Yeah. Griffin, how much, for my own edification, how much is the improved crew quarters cost in station? There's no, there's no cost listed?

Oh, don't. Well, I have a reason for asking. Would you say five would cover it? I mean, 25 is not enough to, I think, get those kinds of improvements. Okay. You would need more. Okay. You, Devo wouldn't know that.

So I don't particularly compelled to. Okay. What about buying the dreams of Deborah? You could not. 25. Are you kidding me? It's pretty beat up. Deborah, it's a choice, baby.

Are you kidding me? That's a sweet ride, man. You can't. You can't. Okay. I think if you're ready to bring the curator back in. Are you ready to bring the curator back in? Are we ready to give him an answer?

Yeah. he comes back in. What have you decided? I think that this could be equitable, but I would like to add two conditions. Because this money will not only go to us. We are also going to use it to make sure that the young girl and the octopus that I mentioned will have a home. So you will increase this accordingly. And also, completely off the records,

you will do everything in your power to help us locate Gassri moving forward. He laughs. He says, oh, you have my word that that is my top priority. I'm sorry, that sounded maybe like it was like I was laughing at you and like lying. No, I'm, yes, I will find him and I will put his bleached bones on display. It is a beautiful art. Yes, we would like to be a part of this art making process. Yes, it'll be a group murder process.

And I will shoot you an invite and we'll get together and we can all sort of ritually murder this person. And that'll be fun. We'll make a day of it. Seconded. Okay. So you're really busting my... Go-Nus here. How much are you asking?

35. Six. 36. Clean split. It's a clean split. And with an added benefit, as we are using the ship we will buy, we will keep our eyes open for works of art or things of this nature,

and we will bring them to you to. who sells into you before anyone else. Roll a persuasion check, Devo. That is a 17 plus 7, a 24. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I have you guys. Devo. Yeah, I had you all level up, and we'll talk about the things you leveled up.

But I assume your fucking plus set. God, your skills are bonk. Okay, we'll talk about it. He says, okay, you sign them on disclosure. agreement, you promise to offer me write the first refusal on any recovered relics you may discover out

during your travails. And I would ask one more thing. Was anything anything recovered from the cortisol gallery? We had the little scrap, right? Like, but there a little scrap of painting?

Yes. You know, whether or not you I wasn't involved with that I just heard it on the podcast. Yeah, okay. I actually have something. I don't know how much it's worth, but here.

He holds out the scrap. Did we establish that it has Sable's signature on it? I cannot remember, but when you hand him this scrap,

he slides you over the clipboard with the non-disclosure agreement on it and hands you all a pin and then reaches down in his desk and pulls out a little box and opens it up and removes 36. I don't know what Lux looks like. I'm imagining kind of like. Go with hexagonal. Griven hexagonal coins? Really cool. I'm thinking more like interlocking blocks. like interlocking, translucent purple blocks that, you know, when they, when they lock together in certain quantities, they change, they change color. And that's how you know, like, oh, well, this is 10.

I do like that. I do like that. It's cool. That's sweet. So he slides 36 of those across the table to you all. And then he stands up and actually takes that scrap over to that. This is so embarrassing. The 36 is the cost of our silence.

The scrap will need to be negotiated separately. He turns to look at you, Devo, and his demeanor has changed completely. He looks, he looks angry, not at you, but he looks, when he saw what you handed him, he looks like heartbroken and angry. And he walks over to the painting and holds up the scrap and you can see where it lines up with this forgery. And he takes it back to you and throws the scrap back on the table. And he says, I don't need to pay for it.

I don't need this. So we could take this out and sell it to somebody else? I believe you have just refused it first if I remember. I will, I will, I will, I will give you 40 for everything. As we said, this must be a clean split, 42. Final offer. Or 39. No.

Um, roll another, hey, this is a separate deal. Make another persuasion check. This one's going to be high. That's a nat 20. Plus seven. Holy fucking shit. I will let y'all trust me on this one that is we're doing it in the app wild okay he takes out but you know what you're like laughing up now that he just

use that fate you know what I mean right that karma for three listen if we're gonna use this money to buy our ship dude yeah but like you're gonna someone's gonna be like swinging the hammer of delfar at you at some point you're gonna need you're in these fucker rolls oh I'm gonna be yeah I'm gonna beef it for sure yeah for sure you'll be like but my goal But my three Lucks, but my three Lira, my Zinny. Okay, he takes out six more of those, of those blocks and throws them down. And they, some of them snap together to create now 42 Lucks, a king's, a king's ransom, I will say. And then he grabs the scrap back and shoves it in his desk drawer.

And he says, please sign it and go. and I suppose we will be in touch. Can Zooks make a perception check as to whether or not he knows the one he has in his wall is a fake? Yeah, he said it. He said that much. The one he brought in as a forgery. That is what he said. Okay.

Some of the things that Guthrie brought in, including this like masterpiece are forgeries. And the real one was destroyed. And the real one was destroyed. Okay. You get the impression that as somebody who is spent most of his life sort of solely responsible for making sure this exact thing doesn't happen, he's having a pretty fucking bad day now. And he basically is no longer sort of speaking with you. He's just kind of looking out at the ravine outside. Well, Devo signs it, takes the money, and goes.

Amber, Zooks. Amber, what name do you sign it with? Amber, I forgot it with. I've already forgotten the whole thing. French Dillips? It was, no, it was clunch, clunch figgins. Something like that. Figins?

Something like that, all right. Clunch figums, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. And Zooks? And when Amber, Amber looks at it, and he notices that Amber signed it, Ambergrie, and she looks at it and says, check bite. Zooks, are you signing as well? Sure.

Yeah, he signs. But he's, um, but he's, It lines it backwards. Okay. Zuse? That'll show him. All right. Lesson, lesson learned.

Okay. He turns back and says, thank you. My docent will show you out. And the docent shows you out. And the docent does. Roll for docent. Y'all got some money to throw around now. I will say your trip back home was much slower.

than your trip out. So you are not in danger of running out of your sort of 48-hour deadline, but like it is the day of. And so what happens? It's time to take care of this. Yeah, it's time to take care of this. You don't have a ton of time to kill,

but you got enough to. Then let's go to Mona's. Okay. Enough farting around, Griffin. It's cool. You zip on up the Crystal Ascension up into Mona's. Oh, here in the Lowe's.

It's fair, like. Amber, I have to ask, I'm not all that good with the social situations just yet. Did I overplay that? I mean, check your wallet, bud. I mean, I know, but... Seems like it went okay. But at the beginning, he seems like he liked us, and by the end, he seemed a little pissed. I mean, yeah.

I don't know. I think there were some some currents we couldn't necessarily see from the surface. But, I mean, I ain't sweating, honey. Listen, we got 42 looks in our pockets. I think things are going fine. Don't second-guess yourself too much. You know, you can play it safe and skate by.

Then you end up belly and what was the point? I say go big. Go big and get that. money, you know? This works for me. Yeah, I agree with this. It will make us more comfortable. Give us room for back.

Oh, I should ask. I'd be careful. Can I say one thing, though? Yeah. I do want to point out, I would be careful with the fibbing. That didn't seem to be your strongest. I practiced this all the way back from. Maybe that was made it worse.

You can over think it. You ever think too hard about how to. to tie your boots and then you go to do it and it won't come. Mine zip up. Nice. Yes, they're very nice. Real nice. I should ask, so that we are on the same page,

I would like to perhaps extend an offer to Beck and Skittles in positions in our crew, in our new ship. But I suppose as a team, I should. speak with you before I do this. Fuck, no. Now, not split in five ways. It's going to be hard enough to make a live with three of us. Let them work on commission.

Could they work on commission? What do you mean for every fridge they sell? They get another two lux? What do you mean commission? Yeah, like a percentage of whatever we take in. I was a small, tiny little percentage. I mean, can't we try out with the three of us, first and see, I mean, we're barely sort of filling out how we jail.

I don't want to necessarily bring in a bunch of other hungry mouths. And that would give them a chance to recover from their awful tragedy as well. Uh-huh. Maybe we do a mission just us. Yes. How about this, right? We will set them up. I will get back in Rodin's school here with Brother Seldom.

and perhaps Skittles can attends to school as well. I do not know what the position is on octopuses, but I assume Brother Zeldom will be open to this. And then they are there if we ever need to hire them for a job. Of course. Yes. Sounds good. Yes.

Absolutely. There's one guy in the corner of the elevator. later, who's just been quiet the whole time. Can I work, can I have a job? No, I'm sorry, we are a job. Are you? Now this guy here? Yep. You all see the spark, right? You all see it, right?

He looks like a real pervert to me. I put it my arm at his shoulder. Now look at this fucking claspher. Look at his face. No, he has their face of a pervert. What's your name? Don't they? Just answer. No. No? I don't want to tell you my name. name.

That's good. It's a classic, classic pervert dodge. Do you know a guy named Guthrie? Oh, yes, we should start asking this of everybody. Yeah, we'll ask around. Yeah, Mr. No? He's our fucking Count Rook.

Or doctor. Um, I am a doctor, a medical doctor. Doctor No, okay. No, that's not my name is... You said your name was no. Let's move on. Shack. Dr. Shack?

My name is Dr. Shack. Griffin, I want to warn you, Griffin. Listen, listen, I want to say something about the Adventure Zone. We're going to take a quick break here because I need to say something. Making up fake things about someone is the Beetlejuice of Adventure Zone. So far, you've made up two things. It's the voice and the name Dr. Shaq. I am telling you, I am telling you.

I am telling you now As a fair warning is your brother That if you make up one more thing about him You'll never be rid of him Ever will be obsessed This is your warning This is your one warning about Dr. Shack He could get off at the next floor

Or he could have one more facet Which is enough to make him a living, breathing human The door actually opens And it's not up to the gunwale yet And he steps out and he says I'm sorry about you guys I really don't usually put myself out like that. I'm just really...

And his neck expands like a puffer fish because that's his like fish-like thing. And he's like, there I go, there I go, there I go. Oh, no. Oh, no. Is that a third thing? Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Fairhaven's a city in a bubble.

An actual bubble. It keeps the monsters out. Most of them, anyway. I never liked the look of movies on Blu-Rae. For my money, Max is the superior format. I'm thinking of deleting Facebook and going back to MySpace. As far as beverages go, I'm just kind of over water.

Though I guess at any given party, you're going to meet some dudes like that, even if you're not in the middle of a nightmarish wasteland. Bubble, the sci-fi comedy from Maximum Fun.org. Just open your podcast app and search for Bubble. You all get off at the gunwale And make your way over to Desda Mona's hall And Mona doesn't even sort of see you all As you all walk in

She has her tone wheel headphones on And she's just kind of bumping it And she turns and sees you and pulls them off And says, ah, okay, so, like, how'd it go? Where's my split, you know? Did you all, you know, make it back with the goods? Or what was the, how to go? No, it turns out, Gussary is just a real asshole.

Who's that? It was the guy we went to meet. So we didn't go on the adventure at all. But we did find a kind benefactor who gave us money for a ship. Oh, good. All right, cool. I'll be straight. I was worried about you all, and I was feeling a little bit guilty about it.

But if I find out that everything's great and that you actually had a pretty kick-ass day, then that really alleviated. a lot of the pressure off me, the salesperson. So thank you. So y'all got the money? Well, we signed it in DA, Griffin. Oh, that's right. I didn't say that to Mona.

Right. No, we sound like, I've got a cold. She says, all right, so y'all in the buying mood then? Yes. I think we'd like to make a deal. Maybe, you know, we're still kind of on the fence. You know what? This isn't a good idea.

We should go. I'm sure there's another place. What are you talking about? We're here to buy a ship. We need a ship or else we cannot get work. I'm kind of with Amber because I can swim underwater. I don't know if we need to. It does not make any sense.

We have to go very far away. So we need the ship. Without the ship, we cannot get the job. There's probably other places to buy a ship. Mona, I do not know what they are talking about. We need the ship. Oh, I see. Oh, I understand what you are doing.

Yes. Yes. Maybe we did not need the ship. Hmm. Do you all want a minute to like get your negotiating? No, just tell us what you got. I mean, I got, like, whatever you want. Cool cuss, by the way.

Real choice. Cool, cool job. Here, let me, I'll show you some of my sort of less dilapidated stuff. And she. Oh, hold back. She opens up this large door behind her sort of sales desk here and walks you through, and she flips a couple switches and lights illuminate. She got a showroom?

Well, it's not much of a showroom as much as it is a sort of an indoor junkyard. Like there are definitely a lot of ships here that are just stacked to the rafters. And then there's a few that are out for display. And some of them are, you know, aesthetically, they look very, very nice, the interior quality of them. You are not quite as certain about. But she walks you through and she says, yeah, so knowing y'all's budget, I think maybe these shinier ones aren't your, if you see one that like light reflects off of the surface of it. Just assume that it's probably too

expensive. How much would this be? The shiny ones? I mean, this one here is 60 Lux. OBO, as we say. I will give you five lux for it.

Make a fucking make a roll. If you say the shit, you make the roll. 10 plus 7, 17. No. five? No. I said, no. I said 60.

Is there a, this is a, uh, sort of a meta question, but is there a floor on that, like, you know, if you try to buy something that's a hundred bucks for a dollar, like, there's zero amount of rolling. If you had crit, I would have, I would have, I would have countered, but not with the, okay, okay, okay, she just got it. Okay, I don't know if y'all are serious anymore. why don't you just take a look around and holler if you see something that catches your eye. And she walks back into the front room. And you all basically have free rein in here to walk around and look at the inventory. It is a sprawling showcase, though.

So I had an idea for how to sort of find y'all's ship. And it's going to be... Let our hearts guide us. Well, I'm thinking more of a sort of design by committee idea because your ship, whatever you end up with is going to be the main setting, I would say, for this campaign. It is going to be y'all's home. It is going to be where you live and what you invest most of your earnings into to, you know, continue to take on tougher and tougher jobs. So it's like an important thing. And, you know, it's much like how the fifth sex in the city. person is the city. Well, that's the sixth one, as we all know. And the seventh is Barreleague. He's an entity.

Yeah, from an ancient one. He lives in the sewers. And the eighth is just the fashion. But for y'all, it's, I mean, the ship is going to be important. The ninth is Ghost Rider. Go on. I want you all to do a D20 role. And I'm going to just ask you all some questions.

So should we do the role now? Yeah, just do the role now. And this role will determine sort of the order in which you will answer the questions. I got a seven. That's a seven for Devo. A 19 for Zooks. Damn. The J-Man pulls a 16.

Okay. So the first question goes to Zooks. And I have these kind of ordered roughly in like impact on what the ship is and what the ship is going to look like. And so Zooks, you get to answer the first question. You are the first one to notice this ship. And these questions, by the way, I want you to answer very specifically. I do not want you to sort of go broader on the answers because you might sort of bleed over into another question. I want you to answer specifically what I ask about the ship.

And as we go along, we will paint a picture together of what this ship looks like. So, Zook, this ship catches your. eye. Maybe it's not sort of on the showroom floor. Maybe you find it behind a couple stacks. But you see a ship and though you are new to life, Zooks, you sort of recognize this ship as being of a design of a certain purpose. This ship belonged to a certain vocation before. It was piloted by people who had a job to do, and that is my question. What was this ship's former purpose? And I want you to keep in mind, like, what that could mean for the undersea city of Founders

Wake, right? Like, what are some reasons that you might need a ship other than just, like, going out and adventuring? Whether it's, you know, transportation or delivery or, you know, smuggling, if you want to go a sort of Millennium Falcon route with it. What is this ship's form or purpose that you find? Exploration. Can you be more specific than just exploration?

I think it's designed for mostly a case of durability. I think for deep water survival. Okay. go down to the depths to survive the crushing pressures of deep seas. So it's a deep water submersible, if you will. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I mean, everything in this that we're dealing with is submersible.

Yes, yes, yes. But I mean, like, there's a different design to, like, the ships that they take, like, into the Mariana's trench and shit. Right. When I say specifically, I didn't mean sort of more specific to the purpose, but rather the purpose itself, right? When you say exploration, that could mean, it could mean. like one of those ships that found the Titanic, one of those big bulbous boys, or it could be like a glass bottom boat. It could be... But do you want me to be specific? Because I had something in mind when you asked me that.

As long as it's about the sort of vocation that the ship sort of fulfilled and not the design of it. Oh, well. What did you, what did you have in mind? A bathescape. You know, something that incorporates a bathysphere, but is still sturdy and bigger. Okay, I feel you. That is broad enough, I think. If we stop there, basically this ship that you find, maybe you've seen one, right, because you have a bit of cartography training. It is a big, not sleek, not stylish-looking, like, unit at all. It is broad and wide and, and it has space for a bath. Oh, Dad, I'm looking at a picture of a bath escape. Really cool.

Yeah, it's nothing like particularly intricate or anything like that, but it is a hardy vessel. And it doesn't look flashy in any way, but it looks, it doesn't look like it has, you know, leaks in it because if that was the case, it would implode under the sort of deep sea pressure. It was kind of designed to navigate. Okay. Next, we go to Amber. Amber. Now, we're going to build on these questions, right, but don't feel like you have to, we all maybe just looked at a picture of a bath escape. Don't feel like you need to, like, answer, like, what a bath escape looks like, because, you know, I want a zebra to come out of this,

not a horse, or a camel, I guess, is what is designed by committee. Zooks calls you over and shows you the ship. What does its propulsion system look like? Hmm, propulsion system. And don't feel like you need to answer based on, like, physics or or what is real? Like, I want you to answer based on what you think is cool. Some inspiration here, like the sort of dual rails of the enterprise or the sort of horizontal slit to return to the Millennium Falcon. Maybe it's big turbines. Maybe it's a propeller.

Maybe it's, you know, whatever. You know how if you get in like a bubble tub, there's like the bunches and bunches little holes that the bubbles come out of? A bubble tub. You know, like a jacuz. Ah, yes, of course. You know what I mean? You know, like, in a jaccus. A jacuz, yeah.

There's, like, a bunch of the little holes where the bubbles come out. Yeah. Right. Thank you. You made me Google bubble tub, and then it was like, do you mean bathtub? And I was like, click, yes. And then it was like, here's what bathtubs look like. Here's a bathtub.

You unwashed monster. You know, like a bubble tub. Right, okay. So, and it's got like the, all the little holes where the bubbles come out, right? Right. Yeah. So this is like there's a the ship surrounded by like a pressurized air bladder around all sides with all these like holes and depending on where the jets blow out that it pushes in that direction. Okay.

So it's like fully maneuverable depending on where the air jets shoot out of. Okay. So it's not just like propelled in one direction. You can kind of shift the where you want the airflow to be dispatched from. Cool. And I imagine that also has a sort of ballast effect also, right? That's how they, you know, how you go up and down in summary. Yeah, exactly. You make the air go to different parts of the ship or release it or whatever. Okay, cool. That is, that is sick. Devo, you walk over now too and you see Amber and Zuc eyeing this ship. My question for you with the same sort of like principle of Amber's decision there is where is its bridge located and what does it look like? Ooh, okay. Rich being not a, you know, structure connecting to land masses, but a... I know Griffin.

I know that. For the listeners at home. That was insulting. God bless, man. I'm an adult. Right, okay. I've watched movies and TV shows before. He watches movies and TV shows.

I would say that, so you have a somewhat conical, In fact, I'm going to say a conical body with the ring of air bladder at the widest part of the cone in the back. Well, I think Amber described the air bladder as like surrounding the ship so that it can... It's not just at the back.

Like the jets can go off to the side to push the ship left to right, yeah. Okay, yeah. Then you know what? You have the air bladder right in this two. tubular form? Does that sound more along those lines? I think, I think,

think of it as like a skin, like a very thick exoskeleton of air. Around the hall. Around the hall. The bridge is a kind of like flat on, on the top and the bottom disc that is raised, you know, above the ship, so it sits on top of the body of the ship.

Okay. So that you can see. see 360 degrees depending on where you're looking out of the bridge at any point. Okay. Yeah, so it's like a raised, almost like an air traffic controller tower. Yeah. Or I mean, it is like the top deck of a, of a ship, like how there's, there are actual, on a, on a proper, you know, above water ship. Like the, as they call them.

Yeah. Like the, that is what the folksill, which is how far. Fourcastles pronounced. And boy, howdy, I got some notes about that when the first episode came out. That's, that is, that is sort of, but you are saying. Someone who only recently read that word for the first time, that's a stupid way of Yeah. So is, so is Gunnell, because Gunnell could be pronounced Gunwale, which, like, is so much better.

Okay, but this is like a circular sort of thick disc that sits on the top of the, you know, big, bulky bath escape sort of structure. Yes. Oh, I like that. Okay. Yeah, that's sick. Can I can I Suggest one thing? Maybe there's

Maybe there's rails on the side of it Running up and down on on two sides of it So that the bridge can drop down into the body of the ship Like almost like a turtle pulling its head into the into the bulk of the ship Yeah, I think it's it's currently raised right But there is a like complicated I would say instead of rails it's like the teeth of a gear where like it can crank down the central tube that it's on to like yeah to kind of brace cool god I love gears and tubes I love I love fucking gears myself because that's what I want right

what I don't want is for this ship to be too like technologically advanced I really like the idea of it having a lot of like mechanical oh yeah I mean nothing's too technologically advanced Yeah. Down here. Like, like I would say in this, the, the raised bridge is not nearly as sleek as you might. Like, you can see every rivet and weld and like the 360 degree like viewport is not a seamless thing. It's like, you know, there's like six inch wide like metal structure, like crossbars like bracing every foot of the window. You know what I mean?

Like it is not perfect. So the three of you are standing here looking at this ship, which is kind of starting to take shape a little bit. And Zooks, there is something about this ship, just like an odd eye-catching feature of it that looks maybe like it was aftermarket. Like maybe you don't know what this thing is doing or this design is doing on a ship built for deep sea exploration. What is the most eye-catching feature of the ship? Not including its jacuzzi propulsion system or sort of super cool raising and lowering bridge. The bathosphere structure underneath is detachable. Interesting. Okay.

With its own built upon look to it. Okay, I see now. Okay, I'm looking at this picture now. So, yeah, a bathescape is not a bathysphere. It is the ship that transports the bathysphere to... Well, a bathescape uses a bathysphere as part of its underbelly. Right. So it's sort of basically kind of a submarine, classical submarine-shaped ship a little bit,

but with a bathysphere attached to the bottom of it with a... Yeah, kind of like those zeppelin's, you know, that then have like... Oh, that's exactly right. Yeah, it looks like a... It looks kind of a little bit good year blimpy in terms of structure. Cool. Okay. I'm good year blimpy.

The sphere underneath is, looks like it could be its own craft. Okay, cool. That is very neat. And you start checking that out, too, because you walk towards this detachable sphere on the bottom of the ship and start checking it out. Amber, a light flickers and comes on and illuminates this ship so you can see it a little bit more clearly. and now it is well-lit enough for you to catch the color scheme of the ship. What is the color scheme of this ship? It's like, what color is Zooks?

Zooks is... Is Zooks? What color are you? Kind of your coral parts, he means. The armor parts? Like if someone looked at you, your primary color would be. Yeah. Teal. Teal.

Teal. Because I think he would want to blend in with underwater. Cool. I'm going to go with like fuchsia. Okay. I love that look underwater. Kind of like a bioluminescent fuchsia. It kind of glows a little bit underwater.

Love that look. Um, so all fuchsia or is, is like the whole fuchsia or the, um, whatever it is, the bladder, uh, propulsion system fuchsia. Like, is it all just all fuchsia all the time? No, that's more about, like the propulsion system, or the propulsion system is the, the whole thing. Right. Right. This is what we've talked about. Maybe the detachable is like, uh, a very dark purple. Okay. That could look cool because it could be a little bit more sleek and stealthy. Right. And maybe like the bridge too. So you have the fuchsia and then the bridge and the bottom one are the purple. Cool.

I think that'll look cool. Any other colors you want to throw on here? Yeah, definitely. Flame decalceded. There's green flames because that looks cool. Yeah, Dad's got the idea. Yeah, that's what comes up when you... Fuchsia.

It's like a fuchsia. There's no fuchsia. I think you are without realizing it going in a sort of Evangalion direction, and I'm fully, fully here for it. As you know, that's a huge cultural thing for you. Absolutely. Okay. Nerve, right?

Hey! He raises his hand over the table waiting for high fives. Nerve anybody? Yeah, sure. Slap, slap, slap. And finally, Devo, you approach the show. and notice through, maybe through this like elevated bridge, you can kind of see down into the sort of inhabitable part of the ship.

Briefly, like what does the interior look like? Without sort of saying, well, it's got a, it's got, don't be specific about like the chambers that are there because that's something that, you know, we will build out mechanically. But if you were to describe sort of what the vibe of the inside, side of the ship is like. Right, right, right, right, right. Baring in mind that it was built for deep sea exploration and that is what I would say

that what like a series of like let's say eight foot by eight foot basically like squares and the appearances that they are kind of bulkhead that they're there as like if this chamber floods, right, this one seals to protect the rest of the. the ship, right? And so you have all these individual chambers that are there that can like individually seal off. So you can either have them all open and then seal them from the rest of the ship to to keep the damage minimized. But it also creates a very sectioned off like this could be a room for you. This could be a room for this. Like it gives you a lot of individual chambers to play with. It's pretty Spartan, right?

It's not like set up with like windows and, you know, carved wooden doors or anything. But it sounds modular is what you're describing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. Um, awesome. Okay, this is, you all have been eyeing this ship now for. Can I suggest one other feature? Um, just, just with, if we have a submersible on the bottom of the ship,

we should probably have like retractable landing gear. something some kind of legs. Yes, you can assume, yeah. This ship was used before, and that is obviously a thing that they would have also kept in mind. So, like, yeah, there's landing gear that pops out of the bottom.

It's a deep sea exploration vehicle. Like, it, of course, that is that. Yeah, we don't want to land on the bathysphere. You don't want to land on the bathysphere. That would be silly. Okay. So Mona sees you all looking at this, this ship and she says

Oh really? This, y'all like this one? It's kind of a kind of an eyesore I thought But this is it I mean I love this Bubble Tubs skin it's got This is I do like the bubble tub skin

This is nice and a cushy bridge I'm going to say very nice bridge And uh Look at the colors Duke The colors What would you say that is? Kind of a fuchsia Oh yes definitely a fusion

It was a little bit of the deep purple. And the sphere underneath looks so cool. And I like the way to say that this landing gear. The landing gear is such a genius. Yeah, because I was worried you'd land on the bath. This would not make it. Otherwise, this would make no sense. Oh, Amber, Amber.

She grabs some. Did you see these modular rooms? She grabs some paperwork and she says, okay, all right, I'll make y'all a deal. I could let this one go for 30 luck. Nice. Wait, now hold on. Nice. I think the best that we could do is 25.

You did say it was an eyesore. This is true. So we'd kind of be doing your favor when we took it away. Roll a persuasion check, Devo. Five Lux is a chunk of change. So this is not going to be a auto-o-eastern. I feel like I should get advantage, though, because the eyesore thing, because that was a good point. No.

13 does not pass. She says, no, it's 30, but I tell you what, I feel bad that you all apparently had a rough day. Your coral friend looks like dead as fuck. He looks like a dead body like that's like walking around. like a scary zombie and that scares me a lot. Oh gosh. Am I paling out? Am I paling out?

Oh, no, Zooks. You're going to be okay. Oh, I'm so sorry, my friend. Oh, okay. She says 30 and I will throw in a very special bonus. I will throw in a pass to a very exclusive,

very exciting aftermarket for any upgrades. you might need. And this is, you can't, this is a secret thing. Like, you can't go around telling everybody like, hey, yeah, Mono hooked me up and, like, go ask her and, like, all that. Like, it's secret, secret stuff. But, gosh, are you sure?

I wouldn't want you to get in trouble with your boss? Because it's such a cool secret. No, it's not my, it's not here. It's not. I don't have the, I don't do upgrades. I just sort of sell the junk. I mean, the great ships. But, um, I'm telling you.

This thing's worth worth its weight in gold. And it doesn't have a weight. It's worth the money. Before we sign anything, could we tech it out for a test run? Absolutely not. This is the ocean and you could just go. And I would have, and Zooks, I would have no way of finding you, would I. Because do you know why?

Well, people who take a car out for a test run. Hold on, hold on, hold on. It's the ocean. Like, it's not like I can hop in another boat. and then like follow you and you know what I mean? Like I guess I could come with you, but then I would be kidnapped and you could just like kill me out there and nobody would know.

And you know why Zooks? It's the ocean. It's the ocean. The OnStar doesn't work in the ocean. Do you have a return policy? I do not have a return policy. Okay, we'll take it. I have a no returns policy, which I guess.

Does it have weaponry? Can you tell me that? No. I mean, from what I can tell, this thing was used to, like, you know, scope out like weird mollusks and shit by a bunch of nerds. But if, um, I, dad, go back in time and say that it was a warship. A big battleship used for killing big dragon. Yeah.

It was for shooting through walls and stuff. But don't we, won't we need some armaments, though? I'm telling you, that's what my aftermarket guy is going to look you up with. Gotcha. Okay. Gotcha. Couldn't see the forest for the coral. Yeah.

So, uh, what do you, what do you say? we got a deal. Amber? What do you think? Yeah, let's do it. All right. You're here. You all hand over the 30 Lux, leaving you with 12.

We had a little trouble unlinking them from the other 12. Yeah, sure. Because they all fit together. I'm not used to that. And she writes a couple more things. She's like, all right, I got the title here. Oh, this is just a formality, but it needs a name. do y'all have one

figured out or what you folks think okay so can we just talk on this ourselves yeah yeah oh let me let me shake off my character okay yeah yeah yeah okay do you guys have any

I I want to get it right and do it perfect yeah because I feel like here's our record for naming ships Starblaster it's perfect huge fucking merchandise, get the model,

right, get the model glue it up, you know, like huge. Still under option from Aurora. Biggest baby? Yeah, biggest baby, perfect. I think we can all agree not. Fucking crushed it. Oh, how about

littlest baby? Littleest baby. Okay, this is actually a short conversation. Yeah, it's the littlest baby. Littleest baby. Littleest baby. I feel like I should have the ability to black, to black ball.

Now, Griffin, I'm sorry, but Griffin, you ask, the littlest baby. Think about how funny it will be for you to say like, so the littlest baby is out exploring. The littlest baby cuts through the waves. The littlest baby is in a fight, right? All right, well, let me say a few things, and then if you still decide it's a littleest baby,

the biggest baby is the monolithic body of a god that single-handedly keep. When I say the biggest baby and the chaperones, I am basically saying like the military force that protects the city. And people have different feelings about that. Yeah. But it doesn't change the fact that it is a, it is an icon. It is a thing with a strange name. And y'all are basically saying, here's the squeakwell.

It's an homage. Yeah. It's an homage to a big baby, a very good. It'll also have the listeners remember the time we came up with the best name. ever for a boat? I am willing to compromise Griffin and change it to the littlest stinky baby.

Now you're being silly. Can I say you're saying how much as silly? What about, okay, stinky little baby? No, it's the littlest baby. Stinky little baby. The stinky little baby. Littleest baby is at least superlative.

Well, we can put it in parentheses so it'll be the littlest baby, parentheses, stinky in parentheses. Now, so I remember, did we have big baby and then biggest? No, no, no. It was originally Big Baby, and then there was a naming...

You remember this? There was a PR effort to come up with a better name than Big Baby, and they came up with the biggest baby. It's a good podcast. If you haven't listened to those episodes, go back and listen to him. So it's Littlest Baby, and I'm extending my fist across the table. Littleest Baby. Oh, man.

Griff, are you loving it yet? It's y'all's ship. If y'all want to call it the littlest baby, that's fine. That's what you've decided. Now I worry that Griffin is going to Griffin is going to use this against us And every time we talk to anybody They're going to be like, and what's the name of your ship?

We're going to be like, it's the littlest baby. Y'all had your maiden voyage on a ship called Dreams of Deborah. I don't have a fucking leg to stand on here. I just want to make sure you spend a long time designing this thing And it's, it's, it's, I just want to make sure. That wasn't really our far off our fault though. You know what I mean, Griffin? We probably would have just blazed through it.

Yeah, we could have just said we bought a ship and let. If I've been doing this by myself, I would just been pounding that B button. Yeah, right? You know, until I had a ship in front of it. Because we could have just had ship and then, like, fan artists would have figured it out for us. And we just looked over behind another pile. And there's the Sequest DSV.

Oh, yeah, we could have called that sequence. Yeah. Okay. She says, all right, Lilith baby, all right. I'm not going to call it. No, no, no, we can't call it. We can't call it. What the fuck you're talking about, Griffin?

Travis, Travis put us up to it, Griffin. I thought you'd fight harder. I didn't realize we'd broken you so badly over the years. Yay, so broken. It made me sad every second. It was a knife in my heart. I've broken, my boy. I've broken my child.

The fight's drained out of him. Y'all coordinated behind the scenes of surprising like that? Yep. Yeah, we thought it would be a better fight. But you rolled over and showed us yourself to underbelly right away. You hope to adjust the angle of the knife So it would go directly into your regular rate You made it a cleaner kill, which is

It's been a long Now that's just gonna knock me out You gotta tighten it up here Perfect, there we go, now kick the stool Let's name the boat next time All right, yeah, she writes TBD Boats, yeah, it's fine This'll prove y'all own a boat

and this is for you. And she hands you all a sort of palm-sized, like marble diamond. And etched into it is a design that kind of looks like a big round potion bottle, and floating inside of it is a ship sort of floating on the fluid inside of it. And let's just jump to. you all sign the paperwork, you get the deed, and plenty of time to kill before your deadline. And so you all follow Mona's instructions.

But we didn't even ask Mona if they were financing options. There aren't, just assume there were not. And you all go down to the base level, down to the gills, and actually behind the Blue Span Brokerage building and actually like built into the rock wall of this cliff, that the city is sort of built onto, you walk back there and there's kind of like a grotto.

But not like the drug, not like the drug, like an actual proper sort of grotto, almost just like a cave, right, back here filled with water. And it looks, you know, undeveloped. They haven't like, there's not city back here. But you do spot a big metal shutter

on the wall. And as you hold this little diamond, shaped stone up towards it, following Mona's instructions, it slides open. And you all walk into another warehouse. But this one is not the junky mess of Desdemona's hall. This one is much more intentional. It is cleaner and it is displaying just anything you could ever need for a ship. It is, you know, there are sample whole materials. There are weapons. There are tools and like models of specialty chambers for the inside of the ship.

There's an entire luxury ship sort of floating in the rear of this watery cave. There's stuff in here that you like didn't know existed, like ship technology that is beyond your knowledge. But also sort of scattered around this very close. pristine warehouse. There are just huge holes in the cave wall. And as you walk inside this room and the shutter closes behind you, there's a whistling noise from one of these holes deeper in the room and you hear a low, slow voice inquire.

New members? It's been some time. You three should consider yourselves very fortunate. you're about to depart on a voyage through values unimaginable. This, that sounds good. Excuse me, my friend, we cannot see you? I suppose introductions are in order. I am, but a humble trader displaced from my home within the Phantom Sea.

I was the proprietor of a grand aftermarket shipyard just off the coast. And while my business was lost to the rages of the maelstrom, my entrepreneurial spirit was not so easily drowned. And popping out of a hole in the ceiling right above you, you come face to face with the source of this voice. He is a long, long, long, long catfish, whose body is still sticking in the wall and hanging down. His barbles are long and drooping into the water below you. And he says, my name is Felix. Welcome to the Phantom

Sea Coast Coast Coast. Damn it, I'm proud.