The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Graduation Ep. 10 "Dark Arts and Crafts"

Episode Date: March 17, 2020

A new semester has begun and with it comes a new guests, new questions, and new mysteries.The Thundermen have moved into their new dorm. The Firbolg confides in a friend, Argo ignores hidden dangers and Fitzroy takes on a project.  Can friends be trusted? Who is this person asking question? And where did that new crepe station come from?! Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

It's me Gary the Gargoyle. Let's see, what's been going on? The Thundermen, Fitzroy Maplecourt, Argo Keen, and the Fearbug are students at Hieronymus Wigginstaff School for Heroism and Villany. They all started as sidekicks and hench people, but recently, Fitzroy got bumped up to the villain track with Argo and Furby as his sidekicks. Fitzroy was a student at Clyde Knight's Night Night Night School, but one day out of nowhere, he developed some bonkers kind of magic. and got booted out. Also, Argo recently joined a secret society called the Unbroken Chain. That seems like a pretty big deal, huh?

Let's see what else. Oh, yeah, the Fearbug has been acting strange and he doesn't seem to know why. Before the fellas went off fighting imps, he dreamt about Leon talking to Hieronymus's younger brother Higelmiss Wigginstaff about contacting the heroic oversight guild, and then Leon disappeared. Oh, whoops, the music's over. Enjoy the episode. Are there going to be any skeletons in this one?

I don't know, Griffin. Why? I just need to know up top because we're starting a new chapter, it feels like, and I just want, I need to know, I need to prepare myself. Last time you dropped skeletons on us, like you didn't warn us that there were going to be skeletons,

and so when they showed up, Trave, I got piss pants scared. So just trying to get ahead of it. I actually think, I'm glad Griffin races this point. I'd really like to know if there are going to be skeletons in it. There are skeletons that work at the, school. Yeah, those are the offending skeletons.

If you could just tell us next time that they're going to be there. I'm not going to tell you which episodes they're going to be in or even what runes they're going to be in, but just no. Like, brace yourself all the time. When I worked at Blockbuster several decades ago, a woman came to me with the DVD copy of, or perhaps a VHS copy of the movie Hush, starring Blythe Aner, Goethe Paltrow. And she said, excuse me, do you know if this movie has a supernatural ending? I was appreciate that. She didn't want to take that journey. If that's where she's going.

I don't believe it. Who do and witchcraft? No, thank you. No. So, a new semester has begun, and with it, you have moved into new quarters on the opposite side of campus

in the hero in villain's dorms. There are two bedrooms, both about 10 feet by 10 feet. Fitz's room contains one bed, a bureau, a fireplace, and a chest at the foot of the bed. Argo and Furby's room has two beds. two chests and a much simpler fireplace.

The main chamber has a sitting area and a small dining area. And in this collective chamber, there's a private restroom. Oh, God. Wait, what were we working with before? It was like a communal bathroom situation. With my butt where everyone else's butts is? Yes. That's not good.

I've gone, as soon as we get in here, I use the bathroom room for the first time in six months. It is. It is terrible to behold. That's really keeping in the Griffin McElroy brand, too. Yes, that's true. Actually, you know what? I change it.

I went to the bathroom once during this campaign, and it was at that shithead lawyer's office. And I blew it up, and then I did it in our room. So that's two now. There are windows in both bedrooms, and your dorm overlooks the battlegrounds. And there's a Gary in this room as well. Hey, it's me Gary. Gary!

Gary! Hello! With the current setup, Gary, as it stands, you are no longer able to watch us sleep at night. And I'm just wondering if we have deprived you of some sort of perverse. No, I can still see you. And the way that it's situated is Gary is at the intersection of the three rooms. And so there's basically like a corner cut out of all three rooms. that Gary is accessible from whichever I'm you in.

I take it back your creepy penopticon continues to function. And it's me the same Gary that was in your room before they moved me over. This is an upgrade for all of us. What a nice room. It doesn't matter to me which Gary we have. The same Gary. Great. I also just want to say, isn't it weird that such a nice room was open in the middle of the

So master, you notice that? Weird, huh? Are you just sitting empty? Yeah, what, where did it come from? It's haunted. It's not haunted. It is haunted. Hey, boo.

Argo was looking around very carefully to see if the cat has followed them to this room. Not yet. No, you did. When you woke up this morning, the cat was nuzzling against you again. Cat came back. Gary, you need to tell me right now if you're BSing us about the ghost or ghoul that haunts this... I've heard that it's haunted. From who, Gary?

From who? From the hive mind that is Gary? But the hive mind Gary had to hear it from someone else, or else it's a hive mind Gary folk tale. Well, one Gary told another, Gary. You know how it goes. Okay, so you're making it up. I heard it was haunted. Oh

Master Fearable You seem fairly attuned to the elements Do you pick up on any sort of spiritual dwelling here? I will need several hours to ascertain Oh, I was just joking. Can you actually do that? Please, silence.

I'll detect magic. Okay. Uh, there is definitely some like spectral traces and leavings. You know you can't lie. You can't lie. You know that, right? Yeah, but what am I supposed to do? There's ghost magic everywhere?

There's definitely some ghost traces. There's a cold spot and the clocks don't work. And you see, I don't know, a small child at the top of some steps or whatever the fuck. The room is haunted. No. So there go steps too? Their steps are the mind, Justin.

Okay. This is exhausting. So what do you guys think of your new room? Well, Gare, I liked it a lot better three fucking minutes ago. And that's right, I cuss now. Did you hear that Gary? Whoa, that was a good one. Those emps taught you something, eh?

Yeah, those emps taught me a lot about life and love. Oh? Yeah, we don't have to. get into it, but... Did you make a new friend? That's one way of putting it. Okay. I'm just kidding.

Did you smooch an imp? You don't need to put it in such a crass term, Gary. Did you make love to an imp? Gary... Gary... No. So, um, what, uh, do we get access to, like, you know, an in-room dining service now? No, same dining hall for.

for everybody, but Fitz, I heard a little rumor that I think you'll be excited about. Better go check it out. Gary, I swear to God, if there is a crepe corner and for, Gary, do not mess with me, Gary, are you kidding me right now? Ah! I bolt out of the room. Oh, follow. When you arrive at the dining chamber, indeed, you do you see a brand new crepe station.

I charge it. If someone's in my way or currently using it, I'm going to roll to attack them. No one is in your way. Okay. You need it to attack. I hope it's the Crape Station 5. I hear that the crapes load pretty much instantly. It's a Crape Station 6.

Crape Station 6. Holy shit. Those are supposed to be illegal. Yeah, it could do savory or sweet. No. Oh, the forbidden crepe. And you know what? You heard a rumor that if you picked the right settings, it could do savory and sweet.

This calls for it. Oh, yeah, rip it. Ripping it up. I think that I'm trying to make that savory sweet crepe just like instant. I think I'm in a trance. Uh-huh. Roll? Just do, give me a straight-up.

Let's say wisdom roll. Oh, well, that's not. Uh, 11. You know what? Is making crepe's wisdom or intelligence? Have you read about making crepes? Or do you just feel it in your bones? Travis, Fitzroy, Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt has eight intelligence points.

So, I don't think he, I don't think he's up. Maybe it's dexterity. Making crapes isn't easy? Okay, well, then it's a 13, but it's a flat 11 is what I got. That is an edible crepe. Okay. He did. He made the sweet, savory

crepe, and just like that, two food trucks explode. And somewhere, he's done it. Oh, boy. So you, after getting yourself a crepe and everyone else getting their food, you see Buckminster Eden sitting by

himself, and he catches your eye and invites you to sit with him. This is for the audience's benefit. Like, we're, you know, sometimes it takes a little, we have a lot of characters in this world. We're returning to them after some time away. Remind us, who's Buckminster? Buckminster is another student, the one you met on the first day, who gave you the tour

of Horanus Wiggins staff's campus. He is also one of your main friends here. I'd say your two main friends here on campus are Rainier and Buckminster. Rainier is a villain. Buckminster is a hero. And he has since, I think, for lack of a better word, lost Leon. But after the last episode, he seems okay with that, as determined by U-Fits. There was some kind of enchantment magic that were happens with his memory. And now he is gesturing for you to come join him at the table.

And he looks happy to see you. By the way, I've been thinking about this, and I do not think I told the other two. Oh, okay. About what I saw there. Like, I do not think I would tell them about that. Okay, great. So have a seat.

Argo spears a couple of cum quats and goes and plops his shiny-hine next to Buckminster sits at the table. Dad, can I ask you a question? Yes. Do you have any idea, and this is not a trick question, but do you have any idea what a cumquot tastes like, or do you just think it's a funny word?

No, we used to have cumquot. tree when I lived in Daytona Beach. Because I'm trying to picture one, and I can't even picture the ding-dang thing. They're also known as Japanese plum. Oh, okay. Now I, oh, yeah, okay, if you said that, okay. So you say, I knew I put it wrong. Yeah.

So you sit next to Buckminster, and he goes, oh, welcome, friend, yes. Tell me, I go. I've already heard about it from Fitz, but tell me about your imp experience. I heard that it was quite thrilling, deaf-defying, in fact. Well, I did, thanks to my new hero, Fitz, I escaped from the brink of death. I missed a lot because I was at zero hit. No, I was unconscious. Oh, your blood was out, I think is what that means.

Yes. You went out of the stuff. By God, the little guy came along and brought me back to life. and I owe him a life debt. Oh. Yes, and a lot of times when people say this, they do mean it sort of metaphorically. At this school, there is actually a sort of fungible,

like, equivalent to a life debt. And we can get into that later. And what about you, Furby? Did you have fun, squishing them? Squishing them. It was unfortunate. Okay. They some seem nice.

Others seem. Mean? No time to tell the difference. Oh, wow, you really brought it down. Made it sound like a whole kind of war epic thing. I, I, okay. This is not the first time I have soiled the mood. it is a great shame

No, it's okay I asked, it's fine I mostly just, you know, hung out I will tell joke Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes Go for it Step back They all scoot away a little bit

How many seats Does it take to grow The mighty birch How many? Yes, how many No wait, we need to try to guess, don't we? No, it's not a riddle. It's not a quiz.

It's a joke. Oh, gosh. Okay. We don't know. One seed. Okay. Wow, that's some real Stephen Wright shit there. This we call a thinker.

It's a creeper joke. Okay. Here in a few hours, you will sit in silent contemplation of your mortality. and start a very thick chuckle, disruptive to your colleagues. Boy, looking forward to that. One seed. Okay.

Fitzroy, I wanted to say, that is a lovely new brooch. Yes, thank you. A magic bird flew down and gave it to me like in a fairy tale, so. Oh. Yes. It seems so familiar to me.

Uh, I mean, is it, did a hawk famously steal some of your, your accessories? Oh, no, it just, it reminds me of one I gave to Leon. Oh. It was, uh, it was, uh, it was birthday last year. Oh, that's funny and weird. Because Leon's okay, right? Yes, yes, of course. He's traveling.

Yes, I will see. Where has he gone? Um, and you, you see him kind of, thinking really hard and suddenly he looks kind of confused and then his face relaxes again and goes oh just traveling you know here and there I'm going to roll

on this I'm going to roll was that insight yes the 17 plus 421 much like what you saw fits fear bulk you see that his eyes kind of glaze over a little bit as he says they become slightly unfocused and you can

see that from his facial expressions he believes what he is saying but he is not actually referencing any kind of concrete memory as he says it and is like he is delivering

a monologue almost delivering lines I would love to try and get ahead of what I assume is going to come next from our Fearbulk friend who is extremely literal and a lot of the things he does and try and maybe this is like a slide of hand roll or something like that just to kind of like try and make eye contact with him and

like shake my head like no a little bit to not like press the question because I am worried about what happens if that happens. Yeah, I'll call that a slide of hand. I mean, not literally, mind you, but yeah. I think my, I've been thinking about like where Fitz is at after that. I think it's like paranoia is maximum and so he doesn't want to like alert people. That's a 17 plus. 2.19. Yeah, so it will be up to you, Fearbug, how you respond to this, but you do very clearly, without

catching Buckminster's attention, Fitzroy makes kind of eye contact with you, and you can tell just like a slight shake of the head and his eyes go kind of very pointedly at you. Well, I wish him safe

passage. Oh, yes. I'm sure he's fine. Nothing to worry about. And Rainier makes her way over from getting breakfast and says, oh, I'm so happy to see all of you. How was your break? It was impossibly fun. Oh, cool. I went and saw my dad. It was, hold on, wait, can I try again? It was simply delightful. Are you okay? Are you having a stroke? No, we did an imp thing. Oh.

It's kind of impudent for you to ask him. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Rainier, it was terrible. Oh. We have murdered so many of the imps. Some were good. Others bad. No time to tell the difference.

Oh, okay. I went and sought my dad. How is your... dad, my friend Carl. I don't actually know Raynor's dad. I don't know why I was going to pretend like I knew. Rayneur's dad was.

My dad's dead, but he's fine. How was that? Oh, it's good. It's always great to see him. Sorry, you just kind of casually slipped in there that your dad has passed away and I'm guessing. You didn't, hey, Rainier. Hey, Rainier. Uh-huh. Hey, hey, hey, hey, Raynear.

Yeah? You didn't like squirrel ties him, did you? No, don't be silly. He's a litch. Oh, yes, that was silly of me to ask the question I asked, considering the answer that you then gave to me. Yeah, he's, you know, undead, maybe it would be a better way to put it. He's not technically a lot.

You get it. He's not not dead. Yes, thank you. Was he a little? Lich venue were crafted? No. But, I mean, he did teach me everything I know about necromancy, so, you know, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. A latent life, lich.

It is so important for our seniors to follow their bliss and not become complacent. Life begins at death. This is what we say. Now, normally, this would be the part of the morning where you've grown used to Gary taking care of the daily announcements. But you are surprised to see Hieronymus Wigginstaff himself stepping up on the stage and saying, I have some announcements to make. First, welcome back, students. We're so excited to begin another semester here at Hieronymus Wigginstaff School for Heroin.

and villainy. Yay! Yay! Get them, Ron. Okay. We've had many wonderful reports of your adventures over the break, and you have made us all proud.

Next announcement, I would like to encourage all of you to focus on your schoolwork. It's so easy to become distracted by every little thing that comes along, but keep your nose in the books.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah. Finally, I have the pleasure of introducing Althea song to you all. He gestures to the person sitting next to him on stage. She is a full-blooded elf with autumn orange hair. She looks out at the crowd with a raised eyebrow. Althea is a representative from the heroic oversight guild. She will be joining us for a while to check in and to make sure we are running

a tight ship. All three of you make an insight check. Six. Plus, it doesn't fucking matter. 15 plus 4. 19. 8 minus 1, 7. All right. Fearbul, you notice that even though he is smiling, the smile is not touching his eyes.

And you get the very distinct impression that he is annoyed by her presence. So be sure to answer all her questions and help her with anything. she needs. And as always, if you need me, my door is always open. And he leaves the stage. Yeah. Hey, remember me the new person's name? I'm so bad with names. Althea song, A-L-T-H-E-A. Well, I want to talk to Fearbolg about like what just happened, but I don't necessarily want to do it right now in the middle of the dining hall with God and everyone around. Totally cool. Hi, friends. It's me. your kind and benevolent DM Travis McRoy. I have some announcements.

First, I'll start off with the fun thing. This episode introduced a new character named Althea Song, and she is named after a young lady that I met at Pensecon, who was traveling with her family named Althea, and she was very cute and very sweet, and her family asked that I name an NPC after, her and I asked her what she wanted to be and she said she wanted to be an elf cleric. And so there you go. And welcome to the show, Althea. Now, on a different note, as I'm sure you have heard, we have

postponed the Max Fun Drive, which is why you've not been hearing us talk about it in this episode. It would have started Monday, but, you know, it's a stressful time for everybody and we know that there's a lot of uncertainty going on about what the future might hold. So we didn't want to stress people out by, you know, talking about support and how much we need the support right now because, you know, it's scary for everybody. And we didn't want to stress anybody out. Max Fun Drive should be a fun thing full of excitement and bonus content and, you know, all that stuff. And it just wasn't the right time. There's too much, too much bad stuff. But that doesn't mean there can't be good stuff too so we'll keep trying to put out you know more fun content it's why i put this

episode up early so you have plenty of stuff to enjoy uh also on another announcement we have postponed our april shows uh the 20 funny tour we're gonna hold off on those for a while until uh you know after uh all all the scary stuff is done but hold on your tickets uh because they will be uh you know they'll be honored for the rescheduled shows and we'll be announcing those rescheduling dates as soon as we can. Now, enjoy the episode. Argo, let's start with you, but first, twist. Fearable.

As you all disperse from the dining hall to head on about your day, you find yourself making your way to the office of the head of the signkick and Hinchperson Annex, Higglemus Wigginstaff. You knock on the door, a moment passes, and then you wake up sitting under a tree in the middle of campus. You must have fallen asleep. Argo, so you head to your independent studies class with Jackal that you are slated to take this year, supposedly to perfect your roguing skills. So you enter Jackal's chamber. There are no other students there. And you close and lock the door behind you. And as you walk in, he stands from his desk. He says, ah, welcome back. Young Argo,

It's good to see you again. Um, hello, Jackal. Is there any kind of a secret handshake we're supposed to do? You know, being in the unbroken chain? Are we, do we do something in secret, you know, like a handshake or a... Have you seen the view from my balcony? Come, join me. I'll see you.

Take a look. I, I will. As you step on the balcony, uh, you pass through a, much like when you passed into the room that was hidden in the forge, a kind of shimmering curtain that you hadn't noticed before now. And as you stepped through, Jackal says, there's no Gary's out here. There's no listening. We got some words out here so no one can listen.

So how is your mission? Well, I mean, it was interesting. It was kind of creepy. But, yeah, I almost died. So that was a kind of a sucky, you know, angle to it. Argo, I'm not talking about the imps boy. I'm talking about what did you learn about Fitzroy Maybocourt? What did you learn about his family?

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Well, listen to this. You're going to love this. His ma, her name was Dendra. And she handed out really good gum. Had a big purse, had a huge purse. And in this purse, she kept like jewels, a jibes. and amulets and hot mint gum, apparently.

So that's about the extent of what I learned. These guys don't like talking about themselves. They don't want to share. I mean, they kind of bond together, and they got their little things that they talk. Argo, Argo, stop. Calm, calm yourself for that. Sorry.

It is important that we must understand where this boy's power comes from. I don't think his parents had magic. And it has something to do with him being a barbarian and raging out. Because it's not like he just can, you know, can, you know, clap his hands together and do magic. He's got to kind of wig out a little bit. At least that's what it looked like to me. it's not uncommon for for barbarian to be able to tap into something

when they feel the rage come upon them but it's the nature we so you don't care about the gum at all you don't think the gum is important that was kind of a big get for me I was kind of proud of that hot mint is nothing new Argo that's that's the most common kind of gum there is in this world you know that well no no I know by fish jerky but not hot mint gum.

Okay, when all of this is done, I'll get you a pack, okay? Now, it's the nature, the why we've never seen magic like this before. Well, that's not entirely true. We've never seen magic like this before from a person. This kind of wild magic, it's something else. And it's vital that we understand. But what I'm, let me answer. question and you know be as honest as you can be you know being you know a rogue and you know

named jackal are you going to use this information to hurt him no no argo it's not because listen the the guy could have he had a chance to help himself or save my salty ass and he saved my salty ass. I don't feel so comfortable spying on him, especially if it's going to lead to something bad happening to him. He's not a bad guy for an arrogant jerk. He's kind of a nice arrogant jerk. Argo, I promise you, we don't have anything bad planned for Fitzroy. It's about information. It's about understanding. I'm going to tell you something. This is perhaps one of the biggest pieces of information that I could share with you from our branch of the unbroken chain.

But I trust you, I do. And so do you want to know why there's so many of us here at the school, while there's a whole branch here at the school? Yes, that had been plaguing my thoughts, trying to figure out there was a bunch of you. Jackal gestures towards the Godscar chasm, and to remind those listening at home because they can't see it, the school, to its northern point,

is bordered on one side by the unknown forest and the other side by a large canyon called the Godscarcasm. And he points towards the Godscarcasm and says, about 50 years ago, Argo, we detected wild magic. bleeding out of the godscarcasm. We can't determine the origin. We don't know why it started, but it's a mystery to this day.

We've been studying it for 50 years. Now, it hasn't increased. The bleed hasn't increased. It's stayed pretty steady, but we're here monitoring that. And then here comes this boy, this Fitzroy Maplecourt, and he has the same kind of,

of magic and that can't be a coincidence, Argo. Well, why can't I just come out and ask him? Why can't I, instead of just sitting around, you know, trying to be... Argo, when you joined the unbroken chain, you knew what you were getting into. We are a secret organization. You can't just ask him. Okay. You can't raise any questions, Argo.

No one must know what we do. We work in secret. I understand. Okay, let me just tell you something. That's fine. And I'll pursue this up to a point. But if it reaches the point where something bad's going to happen to him, you may have your first broken chain link, my friend.

I can promise you. We don't have anything bad planned for him. It's just about information. All right. I'll keep working me magic. Now, we should probably do some rogue practice to keep up the illusion of our independent studies class. So come with me. You step back inside and you can see that he has laid out three chests.

And now he says, okay, today we're going to work on lock picking. Now, each one of these chests, it's going to get harder as we go. So let's start with this one on the far left. Why don't you pick that lock for me, Argo? All right He points at that one on the left And says I pick that one

That's good I liked it I liked it Dad That's the best one yet dad Well you know it's no country band But it'll do Yeah

That is very funny Now use your thieves tools To open that lock Okay So I'm going to use, I'm going to make a sleight of hand roll. Well, so basically the way that lock picking works in fifth edition D&D is you roll a D20 and then you're going to add your proficiency bonus to it because you are a rogue, you are proficient in your thieves tools. Anybody can attempt to pick a lock assuming they have the tools to justify it, but only like a rogue and maybe a bar, depending on what their specializations are in, have proficiency.

Okay. All right. All right. Here's my roll. It is a three plus two. That's a five. Okay. Well, it didn't work.

And you're going to take two damage as a needle springs from the lock and pierces into your finger as you're trying to pick the lock. And Jackal starts laughing. Remember, you can prick your finger. All right. Okay. Can I try another one? please. Yeah, but Argo, are you even going to ask about the trap?

You need to... Okay. You kind of missed the point here, Argo. My point is, before you pick any lock, you need to look for traps. That's rule number one. That's why I said should I do perception or insight or something first. No, what you said was sight a hand,

and so don't try to rewrite history. I was listening. All right So before you do it I want you to look At every lock I want you to investigate every luck Now I say that

It's actually a perception chat But I don't want him to say I want you to roll a perception check Because that's not good DMing All right I'm gonna really Wait a Really looking at that lock

Okay And roll an 18 Plus Why am I still talking in character? plus one, 19. Okay. So that now you see that actually the lock you are trying to pick is actually a keyhole on the side of the lock that you were using. That front one is a trapped lock that will pierce anyone who is trying to unlock it.

So now, why don't you roll a check on that second lock? All right. Here we go. That's a 17 plus 2, which is 19. That one pops open. Okay, Argo, now the lock on the next chest is a little tricker. Why don't you try that one? Okay.

Perception check. 15 plus 2. No, plus 1, that's 16. Very good. There is no trap on this chest, but good job looking. Thank you. Okay. And that's a 14 plus 2, 16.

That locks brings them as well. Okay, Argo, one last chest. This one's the hardest. Yeah, I'm feeling so good about this. I may just do it without trying the perception check. I got a little confidence going for me. I'm kidding. I make a perception check.

Jeez, Louise, what a tough room. That is an 18 plus 1, so that's 19. You do not find a trap, but you also, just from perception, cannot find the lock. Well, well, all right. How about investigation? Okay. That is 11 and I add three to investigation. So that's 14.

As you are investigating, you find that the bottom four corner plates on the chest are loose. And you press upon them and a plate in the front of the chest springs open revealing the lock. Okay. So I better do another perception check on the lock. I, Dad, I want you to know that I, Travis, am so proud of you in this. I don't care how boring this is to anyone listening. My dad is learning how to be a careful rogue and it's making me very proud. 16 plus one, 17.

How careful is that? There is no trap present. Good looking out. And so I love picked the shit out of it with a 15 plus 12. The lock springs open. Good work, Dad. You did it. And what's inside it?

What's inside the box that I get? A cookie. There wasn't going to be anything in it, but I'm so proud of you. It's a delicious, somehow, magically still warm chocolate chip cookie. Let me write that down. You're not going to consume it? No. No, he's going to throw it at the final boss.

Okay. In a moment of day of X. Travis, this is the ever-warm cookie of Glade Sprintzny. It's worth 10,000 gold pieces. I slip it into my rogue's case. And we leave this scene as you and Jack will kind of jump up into the sky and thrust your fist into the air. Wait, I want him to check a few more locks for traps. Well, there's plenty of time left for that in the rest of Adventure Zone graduation.

Hey, guys, just hit our Patreon. You're going to get tons of bonus content. you're to get my dad checking like 30 more locks for traps. Just make sure you smash that like a subscribe button so you don't miss any of our updates about how many traps you checks, how many doesn't.

And don't forget to follow me on Instagram for all my pictures of trapless locks. So next we find let's go with Fitzroy next. Hello. Hi, I'm Fitzroy Maplecourt.

Hey, everyone. It's me Fitzroy. Maplecourt. Welcome to my... We've had a lot of fun here today, but... So, Fitzroy, you, you, uh, have been worried this, this scene that played out with Buckminster, uh, on your last day of break has kind of stuck with you. And as you have said, it has made you quite paranoid. You found yourself kind of checking your shoulder. Um, and at this point, you're pretty sure that there is lots of kind of mind altering shenanigans going on here at the school. So what?

What have you been planning? What have you been thinking about? Yeah, I think he, here's, here's where I think he's at. Because like the swashbuckling, like, heroic thing is like, start building a coalition and of truth seekers, a Dumbledore's army to figure out, but like, I just want, man, I just want to fucking graduate. Yeah. and go to move to Good Castle where I can be a night. And so part of me is just like, I don't want to, whatever this is, it's big and I don't want to fuck with it.

But I also do not think I'm going to make it across the finish line here with everything that's going on. And I do not know how to even begin tackling it because anybody could be involved in it. It's not just, it's not just Buckminster, right? It's the, it's the, that ploy at the end of the imp hospital mission. Like, there's a lot of stuff going on. So I think first things first, like he wants to figure out a way to protect his own brain. But I didn't want to do the Harry Potter, whatever it is, occluency series. So I am going to try and learn how to make magic items to try and find some way to protect myself.

Okay, excellent. So you are heading back from class. to you have like a solid two hour break. So you're heading towards the main building where you know that the artificiary lab is. And as you're going, you see the Fierborg waking up underneath a tree. I'll pop in.

The Fierbug, you see Fitzroy as well. I wave. Hey, Rumi. Aye. There, what happened? Uh, you were napping under a tree, and then you woke up, and then I'm here, and I said, hey, Rumi, and waved. I do not recall coming here. Wow.

Uh, late, java late night? Wait, I saw you this morning. Hmm. So, like, when did you decide to take a nap here? Fitzroy, may we talk? Um. This is, this might not be the best time or place. Of course.

I tap the side of my nose. Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Oh. But a discussion should take place. Hmm? In your nose.

Um, you'll know the time and place. Hmm? This is all. Great mystery. Yes, isn't it? I would love to get into it right now with you, Master Fearbug, but I cannot promise that we will be safe. So, until, until next time, hmm? But if there was a place in the forest?

Yeah, I mean, if you could scout out a place in the forest for us to have a clandestine conversation, that would be pretty great. I will investigate and I will send a word. And just to be safe, just to be safe, hold on. Oh yeah, the library. That's a great place to meet, Master Fear, Bulg. Do you think the library, it seems there would be many to watch and listen? See, I was starting to get excited over breakfast because I thought we might be forming a sort of like unspoken connection. Like we could sort of pass messages back and forth without necessarily.

having to speak them out loud, but I guess we're not necessarily on that wavelength. That's not to say we won't get there. Let's just find a place in the forest for us to talk and we'll talk. I will do this. Great, great. I'll see you soon. So Fitzroy, you continue on your way to the artificing lab. You enter and you are greeted by Crab Tree, the artificer. Her long gray hair is tied back in a well-manicured braid, as is her beautiful long-gray

beard. Is this the first day of class? Well, there is no class going on. She, normally, you do not take artificing until your second year of school. So she is surprised to see you and she says, can I help you? Are you? Is there, what's going on? Hello, Crabtree.

My name is Sir Fitzroy Maplecord. I'm a knight in absentia for the realm of good castle. and I was recently escalated to the villain track here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right, yes. It's very exciting, and I am so proud to be a part of this institution. You know, I bleed blue. What are the, hey, what's our school colors? That's up to the merge people to decide.

Okay, so yes. Green and gold. purple and black, something like that, probably. That all sounds great. I was wondering if I could take sort of as an elective, an impromptu sort of crafting lesson. Oh. Huh.

Well, normally the, it's so hard for me because my default voice is to just kind of give everybody a little bit of a country accent. Thanks, West Virginia. Well, I suppose you could, but you don't normally take the class, the artifices thing, until second year. Oh, yes, I'm aware of that. But, you know, I, may I be honest, Crabtree? Sure.

I possess the soul of an artist. So I don't know if you can tell that just looking at me. Okay. And I've tried a few different. sort of disciplines, painting, sculpting. I did the thing where you decorate the flowers you like arrange that, like flower arranging. Uh-huh.

None of them have... Flores and floristry. Yes, none of it has provided succor to my soul. And so I continue to look for a discipline that will give me that sucker. So I think that it all is going to hinge on art of fissing. It's the only thing I haven't tried yet. I watched some cool videos about it, and it seems fun. It seems like I can do it.

But you know what? I try to do it in my dorm room. I hurt my fingers. So I would love to learn from an accomplished master like yourself, Crabtree. Oh, well, thank you very much. Is there something in particular you're hoping to craft? I guess it's just where the art leads me, the muse. Who can say?

Who can say what they're going to craft when they sit down at the crafting bench? I'll be honest with you. I don't have time to teach you everything about the crafting of, you know, artificing. I could guide you through like one project if you could kind of teach yourself the basics. Oh, yeah. That sounds great. Let's do just that. And, you know, I'll take it from there.

Anything I can glean from you, I, oh, is. is worth more than money can buy. Oh, okay. Well, I do just need a little bit of guidance to understand what you want to craft. So I know what materials to order and what kind of stuff you need. Just whatever you got laying around. I'm sure we'll be fine. Oh, okay.

Well, we could make, um, let's see. We can make like a glowing item to help you see in the dark. Oh, cool. No, but not that, though. Okay. Let's try something fun where I can make something without you and you don't know what it is. That, hmm, that doesn't really work. Maybe you can teach me how to make ten different things and I'll randomly pick one of them and you won't know which one.

Well, it really kind of depends on what materials you need. How much do I? Let me roll to see how much I actually know about artificesing. if you don't mind. Yeah, go for it. What is... Don't say intelligence. Don't say intelligence.

Don't say intelligence. Don't say intelligence. Give me a wisdom check. Oh, that's an 18. If it's intelligence, it's a 17. If it's wisdom, that's 18. Either way. You understand the principles of it.

You've never, like, really done it before as far as, like, made a whole thing. Explain to me, Griffin, what the principles are. Because, like, are we talking about sort of the general, like, you know, how enchanting works in Skyrim? Or is it literally like you have to... We're talking about like the creation of magic items, right? Correct.

Is this discipline more about the imbueing items with magic? Or is it about the actual like forging crafting of it? It is the creating of an item that has the ability to be imbued with the spell. So you have to make an item that is compatible. You couldn't just take any ring and slap like, you know, frost resistance onto it, right? You would have to craft it in such a way that the materials included the mixing of, you know, the making of the alloy, basically, would make it suitable for that.

So if you are wanting to create something that you would be able to put, like, a resistance to basically enchantment, you're going, that one's a pretty tricky one. Right. I think less enchantment and more, like, specifically, like, dominate person, like an anti-spell to whatever like dominate person charm. I mean, that's the thing.

Like I know broad strokes what's going on with Buckminster, but not enough to know like, I think, how to combat it. So I'm kind of flying blind a little bit. Some sort of, let's start here. How about if I wanted to create some sort of protective ward that would protect my head

and the organs inside of it from external control. Oh. And that's just one of like, you know what, forget it. That's just a random. How random. I'm being random.

So you're talking about something that would protect your mental faculties. Just as one example. Like there's also like a laser bracelet. Oh, we can make a laser bracelet. No, let's do the first one. Actually, I'm thinking about it. But I don't really care.

It could be either of them, but let's do the first one. Well, I think that that is an ambitious project, and I sure would be happy to kind of coach you through that. I will say the issue is that that's one of them where the materials are a little bit more pricey than what we normally do. That's not a problem so much as we are going to need kind of some higher up permission for that in order to, to use those. How much we talk it? Well, it's not about money. It's about permission.

Because that's usually not something that we let, even our first or second or third yet. That's usually like, we're talking about, you know, gold and jewels and stuff. That's usually like a fourth and fifth year kind of budget. Crabtree. I think we both know.

It's always about the money, isn't it? So how much money? Well, I'll tell you what. Here's what it is. You get, a sign note from either the Wiganstaffs and we'll call it even. I just, I don't want to lose my job over this, you know? Oh, gosh. Yes. It's, um, yes, absolutely. Yeah. Well, yeah, that should be easy to get any, just hypothetically, is there literally any other way that I can convince you to do

this for me? Literally any other way. I mean, like I said, we could make, you know, like a headband that lights up or, you know, something that, I don't know, makes it a little easier for you to cool down drinks, something like that, that's fairly cheap to make. Can you, I will work on that, but it will be easier for me to get permission if I know exactly what it is that I am looking for. So would you mind writing down a list of exactly the sort of regents that I may need to craft this item? Absolutely. Okay. I take that list. I say, okay, well, I will.

work on it. Say, I mean, I don't want to insult your discipline. It seems like it is quite difficult. Do you think that once I acquire these things, I will be able to make such an item? Oh, I wouldn't try it. When you're dealing with things having to do with your mental faculties, anything like that backfires and you might not recover from it. Okay. Well, I appreciate your time. I will be back soon, hopefully, with a signed permission slip from one of the the Wiganstaffs. So that should be great. And I look forward to that. What is the, give me a sense of like what, what, what, what she wrote down? Like what, what kind of stuff we're talking about? Um, mostly it's some pretty precious metals. There's, uh, it's kind of a

platinum based, uh, alloy. Um, but it does, uh, require certain jewels to kind of be increscent. Basically what you're looking at is like a design, the design is like a three-pronged, uh, thing that would sit on your head. So it would be like, you. you know, kind of a circlet within an additional piece that goes over the top of the head, and at the end of each of those is a jewel. So not a cheap piece to make. All right. I was trying to think if there was any way I could argue that Fitzroy would have these things, but it sounds like that is fairly... No. And like she said, when it comes to artificesing, the reason that this is not... What makes it very different from blacksmithing is that with blacksmithing,

you're worried about durability, right? You're dealing with things like, will the shield take the damage? Will the sword break on impact? Will your armor be able to withstand the attack? That kind of thing, right? With artificing, it's much more about precision because if you get the mixtures wrong,

if the gems are not cut right, anything like that. Not only is it possible the thing will not work. It can blow up my brain. Exactly. Yeah, okay, that's fine. So this is, artifacing is not an, area where you want to cut corners.

Absolutely. Okay. I was trying to think in the moment I almost like cast press to digitation to like make a fake signature on a thing. And then I realized like, oh, that could break so fucking bad. And I'm not good at magic. So let's not do that. Now I will say because I am a kind of benevolent GM and it's been a while since we spoke

with them, you have met another talented artificer here at the school. You met Mimi the Gnome when you were doing the game of dodgeball. so you do know another talented artificer. I got to stay true to like if I Griffin didn't remember that. Like I don't think that. Yeah. And you know what? Even if like if what I just learned is true and I could blow up my own mind.

Travis, I don't know if you know this, but it's not really a place where you want to cut corners. Yeah. I want to fuck with the best. So I'm going to get the signature somehow. Um, okay. So we cut to, uh, the fear bulk. Uh, I assume you are now exploring. looking for a safe place to talk.

Yeah, that found one? Well, maybe paint me a little picture first and I could tell you. Where did you go? All right, I look at one tree and then I look at another tree and I just keep looking at them to find a good spot. Are you actually venturing into the unknown forest?

I mean, not too deep, but just like a little bit. Just kind of duck it in there to get out of the view of Gary's. When you enter the unknown forest, there is definitely a magical darkness So as you enter, the light doesn't seem to pierce very far, even though it's midday, there's not a lot of light piercing from the world outside the trees.

So you do get the very distinct impression that this is maybe a world separate unto itself in some way. Sort of like if you crossed below the surface of a lake, right, you suddenly the sound would not travel the same. The light would not travel the same. And if you look into the surface of the water, it would actually. the light would be defracted in such a way that you would not get a clear picture of the thing beneath. That is the quality of the unknown forest.

Difficult to perceive, hence the name. So this seems good here? Yeah, you don't have to go very far. That said, any time you set foot in the unknown forest, there is danger. Well, let the wiki show, Your Honor, I ain't scared. Okay. Julie noted.

Just for the boss of the sake. And then I, I guess I text. You do have the books of far speech. Yes, the books of far speech. I'll send a message with my approximate GPS data. And what do you, what do you two there fits, right now that you're done speaking with Crabtree? I, I want to, I guess I start making my way there. I think about, um, I think about, like,

trying to get Argo in on this, but, like, there's a part of me that watched him leave the room a lot while I was asleep, like, through my trance sleeping. And I think that there's just, like, still enough, um, like, there's, there's still enough uncertainty there that I do not know if he would bring him into the fold. Like, hence the, hence the, the secretive nature of this. Yeah. I think that that tracks. So, yeah, I go to meet him. You are able to follow the Fearbulks very literal directions. That has to do a lot with like take three steps, step one to the right, see a tree, look to the left of that tree, like that kind of thing. They're very precise and maybe a little too precise to the point of like, yeah, I see you. I don't know.

Okay. And you step foot past the kind of boundary of the unknown. forest as you do. I'm going to say that the kind of cold and darkness maybe hits you a little harder, Fitzroy. It's not really a world you're as comfortable in as the fear bog. Definitely when you enter, it just sends a chill up your spine. And maybe it's all placebo. Maybe it's just in your mind. It's that feeling of when you enter an abandoned building and you just feel like I'm not supposed to be here. I pull my cloak a little tight. But I am, let the wiki show, I am scared, but I'm going anyway.

Well, that's real bravery as far as I'm concerned. Sure. Thank you for coming. Thank you for finding such a very spooky location for us to have our rendezvous. How are you feeling right now? I am afraid. I can understand that. not because of the forest oh okay that's

I am not scared of the forest let the record show um I I have been doing things that I do not remember I do things for reasons that I cannot recall. I am not in control. I am not in control. I am afraid. Feetroy.

Yes, I'm, I am quite afraid of that too. There, uh, you may have questions that regard to the specifics of the situation. I am referring to. I'm trying to remember I look around for Gary's. I look, Gary Check. Gary check. Are there any Gary's out here? Did we buy the pocket Gary? I mean, you did, but you tell me.

Do you have Pocket Gary with you? Who bought the Pocket Gary? I believe it was the Fear Bowl. There's no fucking way I brought Pocket Gary with me. Come on. Okay. That was me trying to, I'm trying to think of every way that Travis could fuck us on this.

I think we're good. I say, I know of what you speak and I am afraid as well. But before I can say another word, Master Fearbul, I have to make sure that we are the only two people listening. Do I know, we have known each other for a bit now and I do not know what you think of me. And so before we go any further, I need to know if you trust me. You are my CEO. There is no stronger bond. At least there is not for me.

No. Okay. I want to use my, my like, organic detect magic stuff to, to see if I pick up the same sort of signature on him as I did on Buckminster. Go for it. I do not think I roll on that. Okay. Let me double check.

It's weird because my, my, the reason we keep checking this is my. It's different, right? It's different, right. Yeah, it's a different thing, so I need to make sure. Yeah, I don't roll and I'm checking, yeah, I have to pick a school of magic. And so I'm just checking for the same sort of, Enchantment. You do detect the same school of magic, the same level of enchantment.

Roll a perception check for me. That is a 12 plus 2, 14. And you are pretty sure it is exactly the same. That it is not just the same school, but that it has a very similar, like if you're seeing the color, right? that it has the almost like the same tone you remember. Okay. Then I put my hand on his shoulder and I cast charm person on him. Okay.

And I don't know like when you cast charm person on somebody, they must make a wisdom saving throw and do so with advantage if you or your companions are fighting it. And I don't know like what the rule. Like, if somebody can like... I mean, it depends on if he is going to resist it or not. But he is... I think I wouldn't because we just now established that I trust him. I agree.

I am looking for a conflict. Like, I am looking for... You can't charm a charmed person. You can't, right? Like, you can't mind control a mind-controlled person. This is, that is literally what I am trying to do here. I'm trying to, I guess, battle some sort of... you know, domination on him with my own.

So you are able to charm him, but it feels wrong in a way. The best metaphor I can give you is imagine putting a record on and you put the needle to it and the music does play. You are able to play the music. But you can tell that there has been some kind of damage to the record, albeit minor, that makes it. not play quite right.

So you are able to cast Charm person but it feels like there has maybe been been some other forces at work in the recent past on his psyche.

Can I I don't know we're in a weird sort of psychic battlefield here where we are also pretty far from the rules of D&D. Yep. Um, is there any way that I can try and probe a little deeper to figure out the nature of the, the spell that was there already? I, I think it depends.

I, you know what? Here's what I'm going to say, Griffin, to answer that question. I don't know that you have any other, unless you have specific spells at your disposal. I don't know that you have the tool set to probe deeper. Okay, cool. I mean, that's, that makes sense? Just wanted to ask that. That's kind of why I'm doing the other thing with the crafting.

Okay. Yeah, I break concentration. and break the spell and uh is the spell broken on his charm spell or he burned the spell? The charm spell is broken. Yeah the one I did. His charm spell.

So to put it in more concrete terms, right? Because Fitzroy was able to cast this, it's clear that there is no ongoing spell on you. That's what I was checking, right? I didn't want, I didn't want this, the warlock's unseeing eye inside of your fucking brain, like constantly beaming everything back to home base. And now I've confirmed that that's not happening.

No, this is more like somebody surgically removed something. Yeah. Okay. So good news, bad news. Good news. There's no warlocks on seeing eye inside your brain, beaming everything back to home base. So, like, you're good right now.

Excellent. So nothing. Yes, great. Let's celebrate that small victories because the bad news is there's definitely someone up in your brain. But the worst news is I have no earthly idea how they're doing it. So I should have mentioned there was worse news. Decent news, so this is kind of average news.

I know there's a lot of news. I am working on a way to protect you and I and whoever else joins our merry band of freedom fighters or whatever, uh, from outside influence. So that is a good thing, yes. Uh, awful news. I do need the help of the two deans of this, uh, university, um, to get that done. And I think that's all the news. So do you have any news for me? I have only gaps missing pieces. I know, do you remember that I grab the mercury in the hospital? Yes.

I do not know why. And Travis, am I safe and assuming that it's gone? Correct. And I do not know where it is. to not be in control of myself is uncomfortable. I am also very afraid of that, Master Fear, Bulg, because I know what you are capable of, and I do not want that in the hands of someone who would use it for ill, ill, good, or bad, as some people call it. Hmm.

I don't know. Can I help with your project? Do you have like a wicked lot of platinum and precious gemstones and stuff? I have something much more precious. Yes? Patience. No, that's not. That doesn't.

All the jewels in the world will not. My patience. Let me ask you a question for your bold friend. I need, through what will most likely end up being a criminal act to either obtain some signatures or just some straight up gold and jewels and stuff. And of all of the people that we cohabitate with, I think we know who's the best to get something. like that done. But I don't know how much you've been paying attention. Argo sneaks out at night very frequently. He does not talk very much about the classes he takes. I know he is a rogue by nature, and so there is a certain amount of that to be expected from him, but I, there is something very

big and strange happening. And there is also something strange happening with our friend Argo-Kean. I don't know if we can bring him in on this. Well, who charmed me? Perhaps you must charm him as well. I don't know if he's doing whatever he's doing under the influence of some sort of magical domination. Well, you solved this with me? You know that I am...

Not to be fully trusted. Master Fearbug, I trust you with my life. It's what happens to you occasionally that I don't trust. I don't know that I can say the same for Arco. And I don't necessarily know how to get there. So I think at least for right now, it would behoove us to stay quiet, at least until we can protect ourselves from whatever is doing this,

to students at this school. This is your decision. It is. Truth is the honor of the tribe. You all have had a fairly busy day, accomplishing your various tasks, and you all three make your way back from different locations

and with different purposes towards your dorm. As you approach the door, you realize you are all pretty much getting there at the same time, and the outside Gary, the Gary that is at the front of every building, It says, oh yeah, good to see you guys. Before I forget, oh, I'm downstairs, Gary.

Hi. Hi, downstairs, Gary. I have a message for you from Crush, the Battlegrounds teacher for villains and heroes. Congratulations, by the way. I haven't said that to you yet on your ascension. Crush said he heard about your fights with the imps. And he said that he heard that two of you almost died. So it seems like you guys are going to need to start your battlegrounds training in earnest starting tomorrow.

But he said rest up, get a good night's sleep, get everything ready, because tomorrow time for fighting. Is it like fighting with our hands fighting? I mean, yeah, and swords and magic and knives and stuff. I Downstairs Gary I do need you to tell me right now

if there will be skeletons involved in this battle I mean there's always a possibility you know we got skeletons

at work here right if you don't tell me there's skeletons it's entrapment there will

probably be skeletons okay well I'm not going to sleep tonight so so y'all

want to watch a movie wow one seed to grow a burst tree yeah I've gotten it.

And you all make your way laughing of the dormitory steps. You reach your room, you unlock the door, and you enter. And upon entering, you realize that you have a guest. There is someone sitting at your dining table. It is the red-haired elf woman, Althea song. And she looks up and says, Ah, I'm so glad you three have returned. Please sit.

I have. so many questions.