The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Graduation Ep. 11 "You Can Call me Al(thea)"

Episode Date: April 2, 2020

Investigator Althea Song has some questions for the Thundermen. Meanwhile, each of the fellas has their own missions.A friendship is forged in favors, allegiances are questioned and a letter is sent. Also, the Thundermen go toe to toe with an Arena Champion. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Hey everyone, it's me, Gary. Let's see, what's been going on in the Adventure Zone graduation? Well, uh, Fearbug has been forgetting stuff, uh, and going places and doing things, and it's really freaking him out. So he told Fitzroy all about it. Now Fitzroy and Fearborg are working together. They're trying to figure that out. Uh, let's see.

Uh, Argo is trying to find out all the information he can about Fitzroy, uh, an investigator from the hero. Oversight Guild named Althea Song showed up and she's asking some questions. She showed up in the Thunderman dorm to ask them about it. Let's see. Anything else? I mean, mostly everything is just kind of weird and mysterious. You know, no one trusts anybody.

It's a whole thing. Let's see how it plays out, shall we? So, you were able to convince the Heroic Oversight Guild representative Althea Song that her questions could wait till morning. mostly you did this through you know argo lying and uh fits were like crying and the fear bold really not doing much of anything uh and basically just kind of looking a little worn out and she took pity upon the three of you and said she would be back tomorrow uh she also said that she would like to interview each of you individually so the other two are free to go about their business but be sure to be back

in time for your interview window now she has decided to begin the day with Fitzroy. Cool. So do we need to come up with something that we're doing? Well, we'll get to that right now so that we are not too dispersed. We're going to focus on one scene at a time. But I will ask you what you've been doing here in a little bit.

So if you want to be thinking about it, it's not a bad idea. They're probably going to be playing Animal Crossing. I don't know how to have thoughts that aren't recorded anymore. I've been in the game too long. I understand. What if I think something and it's like, this is somewhat entertaining? This could pass for entertainment.

And I'm not saying it out loud. It's like, did anyone even hear it? If I think and don't say it into a microphone. That would be like if you were like a chef at a restaurant and you made a meal and then just threw it away. Right. Thank you. Yes. Or if a tree fell on you in the forest and you screamed and nobody heard it.

Well, that would only, that only fits the metaphor if you are professional at having having a tree fall on you. Like if your job is like, I'm here to have trees fall on me and this time it happened and no one was watching. Which don't gonna be wrong, Jackass exists, so maybe that is a John. We need them now more than ever, right? Yes, get out there, Johnny.

Come on, Johnny. No, get in there. Stay in there. Johnny, I know what's gonna. Just let a snake bite your nuts or something. Johnny, we need this now. In your house, how does the snake get to his house? In this current time, like the jackass guys,

their dares could be like, I'm gonna like ride a public bus. Yeah, I'm going to Lowe's. Oh, no, don't do it for a non-essential product. Yeah. Okay. So, you are, Fitzroy, you're sitting at the little dining room nook in your, in your dormitory, sitting across from the red-haired elf woman, Althea song. And she says,

you are sir Fitzroy Maplecourt knight in absentia of the realm of Goodcastle. Is that correct? That is so correct and it sounds so nice to hear someone actually say the whole thing out loud. I've only heard it in my own voice, which I find quite sonorous and pleasant, but to hear it slip between another's lips is it is exquisite and I appreciate the effort. Well, we do our best at the Heroic Oversight Guild to be accurate and respectful. So first, before we get to any kind of official questions, I'd like to get to know a little bit about you, Fitzroy. So what is it that brought you to this fine institution?

Well, fate, I guess you could call it, destiny, maybe, if you prefer that name. Why does anyone go anywhere or do anything? If you want to think about it that way, Althea, if you don't mind me using your first name. So, I mean, there was also a magical sort of cataclysm that may have resulted in the dean of a particular knight-based academy becoming a muck-dwelling fish for like a minute there. and it's like not even a big deal and we're so cool about it. So if it's right, let me go ahead and stop you there. Yeah.

I am aware of the events. You were a student at Clyde Knight's Night Night Night School and you turned the dean of the school into a catfish. I am aware. And it's funny. And like we laugh about it now. Like now when we get together and talk about it,

like we laugh about it because it's fun. Like it's water under the bridge. It's so funny. I've spoken to Sylvia Knight about it and she doesn't necessarily find it as funny as you do. Inside joke, really, like an inside joke between friends and colleagues. But what I was really asking is what, not the events, but more the motivation of what brought

you to this school. Well, I had to go to some school, didn't I? Got to get some learning. But why? So I can become a better night and serve the realm of Goodcastle to the utmost of my, you know, my half-elvin abilities. So, yes, I mean, I guess I could have just sailed overseas or over land or across the skies or to another plane or planet. I'm not entirely sure where a good castle is, so secretive is its location for its own safety and security.

But I figured, you know, why not make something of myself before then? Well, that leads me to my next question. You speak of make something of yourself. Is this a family tradition? Does your family have a history of heroing or villaining or side-kicking? Oh, sure, sure, sure. Really? Big, oh, sure.

Big history? How do you think we acquired such vast sums of fame and fortune? Well, because I've been going through the Heroic Oversight Guild Records, and I can't find mention of the Maple Horse. We're from the other heroic Oversight. site guild, this other one. You know how there's another one, like a competing guild? No.

Oh. Yikes, you may want to hire a few more sort of investigators to your little group, because let's just say there's some fierce competition out there, and the heroes and villains that they're churning out, baby, you would not believe how, and I'm sorry I just said, baby, I don't own that. That's not me. but you make me very nervous. I'm not here to judge or to get anyone in trouble.

I am merely gathering information. Okay, well, yep. So big family, lots of heroes and villains, and that's my final answer. I see. Now, you are now on the villain track, I see in your records. And so once you become a professional villain,

I know that you will be registering with the heroic oversight guild. Tell me, what do you know about Hogg? Well, I mean, that is assuming I don't go with the Shadow Guild, which, oops, I've said too much already. But should I go with Hogg?

I assume that I will be instantly rewarded with vast sums of fame and fortune? I'm not entirely sure. how it works on your side of things. Ah, well, let me clarify that point because I think that that is an important one. The heroic oversight guild is not in charge of compensation. That will be negotiated with whatever township or principality or whatever location you end up being

hired as a professional villain for. The heroic oversight guild is there to make sure that you behave within the the structures, the rules and legalities of being a professional villain or hero to make sure that, you know, you stay on the straight and narrow, as it were, whether that means being the right kind of villain or the right kind of hero. And should you stray from the path? Well, the heroic oversight guild is there to gently guide you back, or in some cases, take a slightly extreme measures comparatively. But I'm sure that we will have no issues with you.

I mean, it sounds like you're trying to put the Thunderman in a box. And Thunderman don't fit in a box. I believe you'll find that out about Thunderman. He is not a uniform box shape. I'm so sorry. Thunderman? Yes. Oh, sorry, I was answering to you saying,

powerful name. Oh, you are, you are Thunderman. Let me just make a quick note of that. Well, my friends call me Sir Fitzroy, Maplecourt, and absentia of the realm of Goodcastle. Speaking of friends, I know that right now you are the registered villain at the school, and that Argonaut Keene and Master Fearbol are serving as your permanent sidekick, so I'll hear at the school. Will they be traveling with you once you graduate as well? plans. Oh, we like to keep it more fluid around here, more jazz-like with our long-term planning. I mean, right now, we've got a great thing going on.

We have a fantastic thing going on. My CFO is always cracking the books, trying to ink out every little bit of gold and copper and coin that we can possibly squeeze into our coffers. and Argo is doing something equally vital, I'm sure. But, you know, they understand this is a business, and the wheels of business are powerful and strong, and they will grind you up if you sleep on it for just even a second. They will turn you into jelly,

and then you will become lubricant for the great machine. And we all know this. Like, we all know this. So, like, right now it's great, but they do know if they slip up even for a second. They're badabing, bada boom, their business lube. Well, you'll just want to make sure once you begin your professional work

that you do register them as your sidekicks or hinge people, if you prefer, so that they will be afforded all of their rights and protections and all of that stuff. You understand. You know how the guild rules work. I think I actually just explicitly stated that I don't, but I am a quick learner, so don't worry about that. So now down to business, Sir Fitzroy. This hasn't been, what has this been?

This has simply been a getting to know you session. Okay. What has your experience at the school been like? Awesome. Awesome. The tutelage is top-notch. There's a lot of, there's not a lot of bugs. there's not a lot of bugs all over and they do there's working the plumbing is just works and you can rely on that and that's fantastic i'm like anxiously looking around is gary is there a gary in this room oh yes okay oh and it's good and i'm having a real good time no real serious problems that i can think of i'm surprised if i may i sense that perhaps you are worried about some some listening in

You needn't worry about that. And she taps a silver ring on the index finger of her left hand. And when she taps it, there's a slight blue glow. And she says, this provides just a little bit of privacy for these kinds of chats. So you needn't worry about anyone listening it. Cool. Can I get one of them? Do you have an extra one of them?

No. I'm sorry. these are heroic Oversight Guild issued only to investigators. Okay, I would love to get my hands on one of them, though, if I can put in like a request or if there's like an online order form, like a sort of sharper image. You could become an investigator like me, and then you would be issued one as well.

Okay, my needs are a bit more immediate than that. Things aren't going so great at the school. Things aren't going so great at the school. Did you get perhaps a letter from a letter? a student here requesting help and then maybe that student doesn't live anymore? Well, the nature of my investigation, the details are not exactly for public consumption at this time. Suffice it to say that we did receive perhaps a message with some concerns. But beyond that, I'm not at liberty to share.

Yes, I may have goaded on that said student to share said concerns and may have led to said extinguishing of said life span. And so that's where I'm at, little bit, little bit, little paranoid. Wasn't kidding about the bugs and plumbing. That's all top notch. But the fear of my being killed while I sleep or being brainwashed. into, you know, jumping into the God's carcasm or a dragon's mouth. Brainwashed, you say. Yeah, yeah, that's kind of the going theory.

The going concern. Yeah, yeah, that's sort of where I'm at. That's a very serious concern, Sir Fitzroy. That would break one of the most major tenants of the heroic oversight guild. Don't brainwash. That's a good tenant. Yeah, for sure. The thing is, even the most villainous of villains is not allowed to compromise someone's free will.

Yeah, I think there's maybe someone who's having a little bit of fun with the laws, with those rules. So may want to look into that. Wow, don't know about the Shadow Guild. Don't know about all the brainwashing. I'm just saying maybe you need to step up your investigation game a little bit, huh? I see. That was rude. You make me so nervous.

I'm sorry I keep talking to you like that. You needn't be nervous, Sir Fitzroy. We are on the same side, it seems. Well, this has been very informative. Thank you so much. If you would, please, on your way out, be sure to send Argonaut Keane in. Okay, are you going to leave after this?

Because as nervous as you make me, you do make me feel a certain level of security being here that I have not felt for. a few days now. So I don't know if you're going to be like on-campus investigator, like a sort of like, you know, HR rep for the hog, if you will. That would be fantastic. Well, if what you have told me is true in combination with the concerns that brought me here,

I think that my time here will continue for the foreseeable future. Okay, cool. Let me just Okay Sorry, I just unclinched my butt cheeks For the first time in like three weeks And it's fantastic I understand

Which one of those two knuckleheads did you want again? Argo But, so Fitzroy before you go One last thing If you have any other concerns If there's anything that bothers you Do not hesitate To talk to me about it

Do you understand? Yeah, sure I'm trying to think like plumbing, bugs they keep taking my cloak away but that seems a little bit of way below your pay grade. No, yeah, everything else is great. I mean, they got crapes.

Yeah, it's really just the brainwashing and murder. Like, that's it, really. Well, those are fair concerns. Thank you so much. Before we begin Argonaut session, Fearbul, what have you been doing while Fitzroy has been meeting with Althea song? Well, I wanted to talk to Gary.

Okay. Just to like have a friendly chat? Like, what does the coffee remind you of? Ah, that little bistro in Venice. I want to talk, well, I mean, do I have to tell you what the conversation is going to be about? Or should I have the conversation? Would that be better? No, but there are, so there are multiple Garys throughout.

It doesn't matter, right? It shouldn't matter. They are all, so, as a quick, brief reminder about the gear. They are a hive mind, but they do have individual consciousnesses as well. They just share the information that they have, if that makes sense. Yeah. I want to talk, what's the closest Gary to Higelmus' office? There is an outside Gary at the front.

Yes, there are inside Garys and outside Garys. It just depends on their potty training. Upstairs, downstairs. Yeah. Got it. There is a Gary stationed at the entrance to the henchperson and a sidekick Annex. Yeah, let me talk to that, Gary, real quick. Hey, Master Feaborg, how's it going to meet outside, Gary?

I'm the Annex, Gary. Hi. Greetings. Okay. I was wondering if I could ask a... strange question. Hey, listen, buddy, no questions too straight. No strange questions, only strange answers.

You know? This is not worth arguing about, but here did you see me? Would this be yesterday at this point, Trevor? Yes.

What was our time for it? Yes. So yesterday. in the time frame of the recording versus the time frame of the game. Yesterday was in the last session when you did approach Hicklemas' office and then woke up sometime later under a tree. Did you see me yesterday? Yeah. I saw you.

There is a magic or I don't know. word, but I don't remember yesterday this part. What did you see? What did I do? Oh, well, it was pretty straightforward to me. You kind of came wandering in. You know, you went in, you were inside for, I don't know, 15, 20 minutes maybe, you came back out and you kind of wandered away.

And then you kind of went off in the distance there. I could just barely see you. You laid down under that tree and took a nap. Uh, hmm. I did nothing strange. Did I have carry anything or? Well, I mean, you didn't say hi. back when I said hi and I don't know if that's strange are just rude.

You were kind of out of it. You know, your eyes half closed. I just assumed you were a real sleepy boy. Did I, hmm, well, did you notice anything else strange yesterday? Huh. Anything else strange yesterday? Um, I mean, I could. Check with the other Gary's.

Yeah? Give me two seconds. And his little stone eyes closed. And they pop back on moving and he goes, uh, listen, you didn't hear this from us. But,

uh, while you were in Higelmus's office, Higel, Mrs. Gary, uh, was out of commission asleep, uh, for that 20 minutes.

So, we're not sure what y'all were talking about. Uh, But he's not normally, we don't go to sleep. We're statues, you know, so we don't really require a lot of sleep per se. So, yeah, I guess that's strange. Does that count? What do you mean?

Well, I mean, it would take some pretty powerful magic to put a statue to sleep, wouldn't you think? I have no frame of reference for this. Oh, okay. Let me make it a statement. then it would take some pretty powerful magic to put a statue to sleep, period. Yes. Yes, that's a, that time it was a statement of fact rather than kind of a rhetorical question. Hmm.

What do you think happened? Well, I mean, I just figured you've had a pretty standard, you know, appointment. You've come wandering in here and wandering out about every other day. So I didn't really think that much about it. every other day? Yeah, thereabouts. I mean, sometimes it's every three days. But yeah, about every other day.

I have a favor. Oh, like a favor between buddies? Yes, a buddy favor. We're buddies? Now we are forged in the fires of buddies. Yeah. If you see me walk this way again, I need you to ask the other Gary's to find Fitzroy. Okay.

And make him stop me. Oh, okay. Now listen, if I do this for you, you need to do a favor for me. What do you ask in return the oldest? form of currency from time immemorial favors between bodies. Could you give me a little hat? It would be my great honor. Thank you.

Something with a big brim. It gets real bright out here. A little hat with a big brim. Yeah, that would be great. Or maybe like some little sunglasses or just something. I don't want to be squinting all day, you know. sun hits from about like 10 a.m. to like three. It's just right in my eyes. I will do this for you. Hey, you're the best, buddy. Yeah, I'll, I'll make sure, uh, tell Fitzroy, uh, I'll pass it through the

Gairies. If we see you go in, get Fitzroy, make him stop you. Thank you. Hey, no problem, buddy. Yes, buddy. Yes, buddy. So, It's time. We're back in the dormitory. Argo, you have arrived for your questioning session. Now, tell me, what's, how do you approach a table? You enter, you see Althea sitting at the table. She says, ah, yes, Argonaut Kean. Please, join me. Certainly, yes. I would be happy, too. I was just out taking a little stroll, finding out the news of the day. Okay, well, then you're going to need to walk over here to the table. Oh, well, yes.

Okay, so he walks over to the table and looks and says, may I sit? Oh, yes, please. Oh, and he sits. May I offer you something to drink, some tea, perhaps, and, I don't know, a beverage of your choice. I can summon whatever you want. Juice? Do you have any kind of juice? Sure, what kind of juice would you like? Um, do you have tangelo?

I do, and she waves her hands. I love tangelo's. And a frosty glass of tangelo juice appears. Ooh, still a little frothy. Yeah, I like that. It's fresh. I like that juice. Yes.

Wait, let me try it. Oh, good. Just the right amount of pulp. Damn, this is a rich tapestry. So, Argonaut. Yes. I, before we get down to brass tachshund. as they say. I'd like to get to know a little bit about you. I don't like going straight to

business. I feel like it's cold. Yeah, sure. Absolutely. What would you like to know? So what is it that has brought you here to the school? Well, I just, I have had a dream where I want to, I've always wanted to work with the Commodore, the great naval hero. You know, You know the Commodore. Yes, of course. Yes, he is one of the heroic oversight guild's prized heroes. Yes, and to me as well.

And I've just admired him since the day I met him. And it's just been a dream. When did you meet him? Oh, well, he and my mother used to work together. Well, my mother kind of worked with him for him in the past. Oh, I see. Was she a sidekick or a hinge person? Oh, no, no, no, no. You see, oh, boy, you want to hear the whole story?

Oh, yes, please. All right. My mother, Shabrikin, used to work on a narwhaler, you know, the ships that go out and, you know, hunt narwhal. That's a disgusting, disgusting job. I know. It's a terrible job. And there was an incident. And as the aftermath of that incident, my mother decided she didn't want to do that anymore.

And she, and I say this with pride. I mean, it sounds bad, but I say with a lot of pride. She kind of led a mutiny on board the ship. And they didn't want to hunt narwhals anymore. And she was able to sway the whole crew. and we even convinced the former captain to join us. And my mother, from that day forward, was forever changed. And we became privateers working for the crown, acting like pirates,

but working for the crown. And in doing that, we kind of, we were working with the Commodore. He was kind of our official liaison to the Navy. and that's how I first met him. Ah, I see. There's only one kind of incident that happens on a narwhal hunting boat, right? Like somebody for sure got impaled by a narwhal tusk. Or there might have been like this narwhal was special.

This was like a free willy level narwhal. All narwhals are special, Trave. Well, actually, she fell in. His mom fell in. To the water. While they were hunting, while they were hunting the narwhals, and he, Argo jumped in because he can breathe water, and his mother obviously couldn't.

And before he could do anything, the narwhal surfaced. And there was his mom standing on the nose of the narwhal holding on to the horn. And she was just a changed woman after that. And she just couldn't bring herself to kill these beautiful creatures. So, you know, it's actually not. It had a free willy thing to it. It's not actually a horn. it's actually a specialized tooth.

Get them, Trave. Yeah, it's a specialized tusk. But anyways. Burn that, daddy. Scorching. Thank you, Jack Hanna. You're welcome. Please, Jeff Corwin.

So, um, now, Argo, once you graduate is your plan to be, uh, to be, it sounds like a professional sidekick to the Commodore. Oh, yes. That's, that is the goal. That's the only thing I'm fixed on. It's, and, nothing else is going to make me happy. Well, that's, uh, that is a lofty goal.

Um, good luck. Good luck in that. And as you know, I am a, uh, I'm a representative of the heroic oversight guild. Tell me, what do you know about Hogg? Mm-hmm. Uh, well, uh, nothing. I don't, I don't know. I really, I'm, I'm sitting here thinking and, uh, I'm going to,

to do a knowledge check. Okay. So give me a history check. Okay. That's six plus three. That's a nine. Okay.

Well, not great. You know that the heroic oversight guild is in charge of heroes and villains. And you know like the basics. You know that the heroic oversight guild exists to make sure that no villain ever goes too dark and that every hero stays in the light. You also know that they have some kind of like influence and that they're in charge of psychics and hinge people in some way, but you're not exactly sure what they do for psychics and hinch people. And I know their badges

say hog, which I think is rather unfortunate. Yes. That, you know, in retrospect, maybe they should have changed. But yes, I tell her back what you just told me that I knew. Well, I will tell you this specifically for you, because you will need to know this. There are two ways that one can become a registered sidekick or hinge person for a hero or villain. Way number one is that you would have some kind of connection with said hero or villain, and they would specifically request you as a psychic or hinge person. The other pathway is through placement where you, you, you would register with the Heroic Oversight Guild. You would fill out a couple forms, you would do some questionnaires, and then a couple interviews, and you could request said hero or villain, and we would

see if the pairing makes sense for both parties, if the hero or villain was even looking for new psychics or hinge people, but if your first choice wouldn't work out, we would then place you with another hero or villain that we think would be a good fit. But you would, of course, have the final say. Okay, fine, but I would probably say no to anybody else because this is my dream. Listen, I have dedicated my entire life to achieve in this. Well. And so, you know, I'm going to do whatever I can.

Can I pursue both routes? I mean, can I go both ways? Certainly. If you would like, in fact, Argo, I respect your dedication and your hard work, and I would be happy. I actually know the Commodore person. Get out. You do not. Yes. We have worked together before on cases and investigations. I would be happy to put in a word for you, if you'd like. Yeah, you know what, let's... Miss Althea. Please, just Althea. Athia, I really, you know what?

I want to earn this. I want to make this happen on my own. I don't want any special treatment. I don't want any favors. For the time being, don't say anything to him. Let's see if I can become the kind of sidekick that that Commodore deserves. And if then, if I do that, then I say we get in touch with him. Is that okay?

I respect that even more. I think that that sounds like a plan. Now, Argo, this has been such a pleasure chatting with you, but I do need to get down to business and ask you a couple questions about the reason I came here to the school. First, how has your experience been here? Has it been satisfactory? Hey, it's, yeah, it's been satisfactory.

I'd say I'd give it a, you know, a six out of ten, if that makes any sense to you. I mean, I've got some concerns and some, you know, there's a lot of good stuff. There's more good stuff than bad stuff. Well, I'm happy to hear that, but could you share with me some of your concerns? Listen, it's personal. I got me two roommates. And, you know, they're great fellas.

They're really good. And they really seem to have really kind of connected. They've got, okay, they're both CEO and CFO of this Thunderman thing. And I don't have a title. And it bothers me. I kind of, you know, I was kind of thinking CCEO, which is, you know, like over communications. Because I'm, you know, I fancy myself as a little bit of a writer. Oh? But I don't know. I'm kind of the odd man out where, you know, with the two fellas.

And it's, you know, like I said, it's not a big thing. It's just a fitting in, you know, kind of thing. I've never been one to make friends fast. But, you know, I feel a little left out, especially at the meetings. You know, they all get to make official reports. And I just sit there writing all the stuff down. You know. she sets down her writing utensil for a moment she says now argo this isn't necessarily within my purview but have you spoken with them directly have you told them that you feel left out that you would like to be closer friends have you opened up to them well here's the thing i think fitz thinks i'm kind of an idiot. Hmm.

And a furbul, I don't know what the hell he's saying most of the time. And, you know, conversations with him tend to take a long time. So, no, I guess I really haven't expressed it. I didn't want to seem like a baby. I didn't want to, you know, be a whiny. Oh, Argo. Expressing yourself and opening yourself up and telling others how you feel

that's not whiny, that's not a baby. That's the thing that allows us to grow closer to others. And let me just say, I don't think you're a dummy, Argo. I think you are not giving yourself enough credit. But I'm sorry we have gotten off topic. If I may, one last question. Sure, sure. Is there anything?

And thank you. Thank you, by the way, for the compliment. Oh, I appreciate that. Of course. So far, all I've been complimented on is like, like stealing things and killing. Well, it's, it's nice to get a compliment on, you know, being smart. I thank you for bringing this up because this was another question I had,

which was do you feel that you as a signkick or hench person are being treated fairly here at the school? Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. You know, I, uh, it's, it's more than I, uh, uh, you know, anticipated on some levels and less on others. But you know what? Surprise keeps us alive, you know, changing up the speed, changing up the action. It keeps it interesting. And by golly, I got to tell you, it's interesting here. But no, no, I think everybody's treated me, you know, fairly well.

No complaints. Well, Arga, before I let you go, I do have one more question. Mm-hmm. I realize that this is going to sound very ambiguous, and I apologize for that. But it sounds that way because there is no wrong answer. There is no answer too small to this question. And that is, since you have arrived here, in your time here at the school, have you seen anything strange? Everything I've seen at this school is strange.

They got skeletons bringing drinks to people, and there's, there's, there's, turning into backs and vice versa and everything about this place is strange. Sorry, I do see my mistake there. Please allow me to clarify. In an environment like this, with a school where magic is taught and battles play out and there is weirdness happening all the time, then that becomes the baseline for ordinary. So then I guess my question would become, what have you seen that you would consider after, you know, observing what daily life is like here at the school, anything out of the ordinary?

Huh. Uh, no? I sure haven't. No, I, uh, no. Can't think anything above or below that baseline of generally weird and magic and creatures. and no, I'd say it's been pretty much straight down the line. I see. Well, Argo, thank you so much.

It's been a pleasure speaking with you. Now, I would ask that if anything does come to mind that would be out of the ordinary, that you'd talk to me and tell me what it might be. This is very important. Do you understand, Argo? Oh, yes. I understand completely. I think I think I have a very, very good handle on what you're saying to me

and the purpose for this conversation. Narrator, he doesn't. Thank you so much. And would you please send in Master Fearwalk when you see. Okay, but don't be in a hurry because like I said, 15, 20 minute conversations. at the least. So Fitzroy, during this period of time, what have you been doing during Argo's question session?

I think I... Hmm. I'd like to find out more about Althea, and I don't know what that necessarily means, whether it's like doing some research in the library about Hogg or talking to... to somebody who might know more about Althea, but like this, I think that my paranoia, now that I've been away from this situation for, you know, 15 minutes or whatever has started

to spike back up and now I'm realizing like, oh, Jesus, I just told this stranger everything. Well, who at this school do you trust enough to talk to about this? Oh, yeah, no one. So, hmm, I mean, I don't even know who would know enough about Hogg. Maybe Festo. Okay. I mean, Festo is a tenured professor here. Correct.

So I think I would be, I think under the guise of, like, going to, like, work on some spell and then trying to just sort of, like, you know, sidestep into it. You arrive at Festo's office and you find them asleep on their desk underneath. It looks like possibly, like, student test papers, but that they have, like, crumbled up into a little pill. and maybe are using like as sheets and stuff and they're a little wrinkled. I'll come back later. Oh, is that, is that you, Fitzroy? Yes, Festo, it is. I apologize for interrupting your hard-earned slumbers.

Oh, that's all right. I was just sleeping it off. Yes, it's important. A little, little hair of the dog, but for sleep, that's nothing. Can I come in? Well, no, I am extremely hung over. Yes, fantastic. From partying?

I didn't know if that was clear or not. No, it was clear. I'm worried that you are a little bit single-minded about your desire to sort of rage all the time. I see you don't know much about the fairy folk. I clearly do not. I am actually fairly restrained as far as fairies go. Good Lord. Yes.

Okay. Well, I'll need to be even more careful out in those unknown woods, huh? Because I do not want to stumble into a rave that I will not survive. Absolutely. They would, who? Oh, boy, you wouldn't even make it one hour out there with fairies with no self-control. Yeah, tell me about it. That's why there aren't very many professional fairy folk.

Well, then I admire your tenacity. Thank you. And it is that tenacity. I have come to you today to employ because I'm having some trouble with a spell, and that's why I came here to work on that spell and that spell. Yes. You know, let me see here. Disguise Self. Oh, yes. Oh, it's a tough nut to crack, isn't it? It can be a tricky one. Yeah, let's work on that. And while we're working on that, hey, do you know, do you know? anything about Althea song. What an awkward transition. It felt normal to me. So yeah, do you know anything about her? Because I just noticed her today on campus for like no reason. And it seems strange that someone, I mean, do visitors often stop by from the hog?

It's been a while. You know, when things are running smoothly, they let us go about our business. Okay. Um, uh, so do you know anything about her, like, specifically, or what's up? I know about her, Thea. Okay. Uh, next question. Can you tell me those things? Oh.

You want to know a little bit about her. Yeah, like, what's the dish? What's the goss? She is an investigator with the heroic oversight guilt. Festo. Yes? I know this. Huh?

I'm talking about the goss. Oh. I want you to dish the dish. What's the skinny? You want the hot gauze. I want the hot dripping wet goss. I see. Well, Alphia is an investigator with the heroic.

Festo. Yes? That's not goss. That's a fact. That's a fact. It's on her, look at this. And I can pull out her business card. It's on a business card.

That is a beautiful business card. I like the embossing. It's incredible. But if it's on a business card, Festo, it's not gau. So give me the dish. What is the skinny? What is the scoop? And they pull out a tiny little flask and they take a big swig.

A big fairy-sized twig. Yeah. Well, she is, from what I understand. If you say an investigator for the Heroboverside guild. That is on her business card, as you have pointed out. I'm not, Festo only does bits twice. No rule of threes for Festo. Sure.

She is one of the prized investigators. She tends to be the one that they send on very important missions. She has worked her way up through the ranks of the Heroic Oversight Guild. I've always liked her. She seems cool. She seems fun to party with. She's nice. Okay.

I guess to frame this, are they here for our benefit, the student body, or are they like your boss checking in to make sure that you're doing? Do you mean Althea or the heroic oversight guild itself? I guess Althea in this specific context. Is she here to make sure that you all are doing, when she stops in on your class, do you, do you, get a little bit nervous that you need to like really crush it. Yes. Okay. But I mean, Festo always crashes it.

That's true, Festo. I'm always saying that. Yes. Anyway, I think I got to SkySelf. You were right. The magic was in me all along and crushed. Did a good job. Fidzie.

With it. Can I ask you a quick, Fitsy? Oh, no. No? Mm-mm. just Roy. Uh, oh, no. FM.

Sure. FM, can I ask you a question? That's only fair. Um, Festo is not always good at picking up on social cues. Mm-hmm. But are you asking if you can trust our fear song? Oh, yes. Yes.

Do you, somehow you turn that into a two-syllable word, which makes me think you didn't actually mean it. In Festo's experience, Althea has always done right by Festo. She is kind and true. But she is also committed to the Heroic Oversight Guild and committed to doing her job. Festo does not know if Althea would put person first or job first. That is helpful. Thank you, Festo.

Now... Aber-azam! And I disappear. I still see you. I ducked behind a desk. Yes. But that was, it was good bit. Yeah, thank you.

Now, before the Fear Bowl question session, the Thundermen have a date with the battlegrounds. As the three of you approach, you see the hero and villain trainer Frostus, Crush Crushman, sitting in the center of the battlegrounds. All three of you make a history check for me. Sorry, my dice are frozen to my desk from me. disuse. There's a thick layer of dust on them. Hey, listen, you know, some episodes are about action, and some episodes, you just need to do a little character building, okay, Justin? All right, they disintegrated. Oh, no. The molecules, they've, they've, the lost structural. Roll the dice of your mind.

I got a nine minus one, eight. Not great. Not a great brain. That's a fine brain. A 16 plus zero, which is a fancy way of saying 16. 16 plus 3, which is a fancy way of saying 19. Here he goes. Okay, so I'm going to say that Argo and, well, actually, I know why Argo knows this, because in the first episode, it was established that Argo was a fan of Jimson and Crush's time in the arena. And so I assume that Argo has been talking about the trainers in the dormitory.

So all three of you know this. Frostus Crush Crushman is a former arena champion in the heavyweight division. He is a silver dragon born and he fought with unbridled ferocity and never lost a match. And you can be certain that he was undefeated because every fight in the arena is to the death and he is not dead. After eight years, he was a... Thank you, dad. Get some solid proof. Thank you very much.

After eight years, he was allowed to retire. And word on the street is that he was actually forced to retire because, everyone was too afraid to face the blood-soaked silver-scaled monster. Now, you know that Jimson was also an arena champion, but he was in the featherweight division. You also know that the two of them are married and met during their time in the arena. But currently... So I'm guessing they never fought each other.

Correct. They were in different weight classes, yes. A wild story. Okay. And so currently, Crash appears. to be meditating. You also see, standing placidly to the side of the field, a young-looking silver-haired elf woman, and Argo, you recognize her as the same elfin woman from the night you were

initiated into the unbroken chain. So as you approach, Crush rises and says, ah, well, well, well, if it isn't the fancy lad turned villain and his two buddies. Hello, three of you. sneak attack okay you want to roll against crash

you make a sneak attack yeah okay go for it 17 no what am I am I rolling am I adding

my like combat mod uh that's a yes 23 sneak attack

yeah okay roll damage fuck yeah sneak attack wait you don't have sneak attack well I mean

I just did it fast you were just doing a surprise attack I know He's always ready for attack. You don't have sneak attack. You're not allowed to sneak attack. Okay.

He sees you try to sneak attack. I pulled back at the last set. I like stop the mall like an inch from his face. Like I coulda. Now who's the teacher? And he doesn't blink. He doesn't flinch. Damn, that's cool.

Yeah, it's real cool. Everyone knows it's cool. Well, okay. So have you got that out of your system? Is that you're good? Yeah. Sneak attack. Okay.

I'm standing right here. You're looking at all three of you and you're saying out loud sneak attack. So this is going to be lesson number one. I was trying to encourage, I was trying to encourage Fitzroy to try to do it. Sure. If you're going to sneak attack, and this is just kind of basic 101 stuff, don't yell sneak attack before you do it. No, don't. Okay.

Sneak attack. See, this is what I wanted to talk to the three of you about because I heard about your mission at the hospital with the M's. Say it. The Mission Impossible. Oh. And that's really meta hearing Travis be embarrassed of Travis's joke. Thank you. And like, it took me there.

I heard that basically y'all almost died. So. Ogo technically did for like a second. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what we're going to do today? I saw this white light. Okay, nobody cares, Argo.

And the three of you are going to square off against me. Everybody in these realities died. Everybody's died a bunch. Yeah, right? We've all been dead a little bit. Listen, there's magic and shit. You know what I mean? It's fine.

We're going to go two rounds. You three versus me so I can get a feel for what you need to focus on. And I've invited Marie here, any gestures, towards the silver-haired elephant woman. She is the school's physician, if you haven't met yet. And she is here to make sure that I don't kill you. So, let's go. So the three of you roll initiative. 10 plus 212.

Gee, many Christmas. Another 16 plus 6. That's 22. I'm weighing my options. It's a fancy way of saying, I got a one. Plus two. The master strategist, watching the battle unfold. I'm only watching the game controlling it

Okay I will allow the three of you to go first I will go last So that I can get a good feel for what's going on So Argo you are up first Argo has two weapon attack So Let me ask you something

I've got a belaying pin, a cudgel. Uh-huh. But I don't see any weapon stats on that. I'm going to say that it has the same stats as a club, because that's what it is. So you would basically, I assume you're proficient in it. It's a simple melee weapon. So you're going to add your same bonus like you would to your sword or anything.

like that for the hit and then the damage is 1d4 plus uh your proficiency number i believe no not for the second no what is it no not for the second attack right if you attack with the second weapon it is just the straight up 1d4 okay so i'm going to attack with the rapier in one hand like take a swipe with the rapier and then with a big sweeping arc follow through with kind of a backhanded blow with the cudgel Okay. Well, the belaying pin, which is a nautical club. Yes.

Yes. Okay. So I roll. All right. That's 10 plus six for the hit with the rapier. That misses. He steps nimbly out of the way. Oh, I would say impressively nimbly for a dragon board of his size.

Okay. And then with the belaying pin, that's a 15 plus six. So that's 21. That one does. hit. Okay. And that's 1d4. And that would be a whopping two. Okay. So it makes a solid kunk when it hits his scales. Right up against his melon, right off his melon. Bonk. Yeah, it mostly bounces off. Yeah. I mean, it definitely hurts him a little bit. You feel like you made solid contact, but it doesn't seem to, you know, phase them too much.

And so then he turns and looks at you, Fitzroy. Well, and I disengage. Okay. I disengage. That's my bonus action. Cunning action. Well, technically, taking a two-handed attack is a bonus action also. Sorry, I wanted to get in there and do that before anybody else did it.

Well, this is called cunning action. You can take a bonus action on each of your turns to take the dash. Right, but when you use the two-up and attack, it also uses your bonus action. Fitzroy, you're up. Um, can we use magic on you or is it just hitting? If that's what you've got, use it. Are you sure? Because I've got some pretty gnarly stuff, man.

Yeah, go for it. Okay, don't say I didn't warn you. Um, I'm going to, uh, use chromatic orb. Um, and I say, hey, you're a silver dragon bo. What's that, like, what element does that mean? Is that lightning or whatever? Frost, okay. So like, would you say you're weak to fire?

I'm not really weak against a lot of stuff. Okay, well, that's what a person who's weak to fire would say. And then I use chromatic orb, and I channel an orb of fire. I'm also going to use Tides of Chaos, which is my wild sorcery feature to gain advantage on this attack roll. Okay. Let's see how it goes. that is a 12 plus 5 17 no that is an 18 plus 5 23 that one hits okay that is 3d8 fire damage 4 7 7 15 15 fire damage or should I say 30 fire damage he's not it's not he's not weak to it

I also need to get better about this every time I cast a spell rolling to see. Oh, it's a three. That's so close. If I roll a 1 on the D20 roll after casting a spell, then it, then shit blows up. But it hasn't happened yet. Okay. So up next is the Fearbug. And he turns and looks at you and says, yes, Master Fearbug, your turn.

It's not fire. It's not fire. Am I correct in assuming that defensive spells are not necessary in this sort of situation like that's what uh maria is there for correct okay that i mean i was going to do something like supportive but um i'm gonna cast hold person okay i feel like targeting wisdom is my is my best bet here um so you have to succeed on a wisdom saving throw okay you have to beat my spell casting modifier which is god why don't they just have it on the sheet They do. If you click spells, it says save DC at the top of it.

Yeah, I see it. It's on the sheet. I rolled in 18, brother. Fuck me. Come on. Yeah, you're fun. Yeah. Didn't do nothing. I'm like, stay there. And you're like, nope. I'd rather not. And Fearball's like, right. Okay. I also, it went so bad. I talk like this now. It's my new voice. Also, I meant to tell you, my name's Jerry. It's been Jerry the whole time. Okay. Sorry about trying to do a little bit of magic on you, fella. That's real everything on my face. All right.

Okay. Now it's my turn. So now I need all three of you to make a Constitution saving throw. Oh, that's something. 11 plus 4.15. 16 plus 117. 6 plus 1.7. Oops.

Okay. So Fearbol and Fitzroy, you're going to take half. Damage. Nice. Half of what? Half of a million. Half of a million. Each take 500,000 damage.

All characters are dead. Newark begins two wings. That is going to be 12 points of damage. So the two who succeeded would take half damage. Six points? Yeah. Wow. That is good.

It's tough. This is first to eight attacks. Yeah. Okay, so we're back at the top of the order, and it is Argo once more. Hey, get feel. Sneak attack. Okay. I feel like we talked about this, but okay.

Okay, he's using Florence, which I believe adds plus three, and he's going to deal an extra 2D6 damage to the, creature hit with an attack with a finesse or ranged weapon. Okay. All right. So there's a 13 plus 6. That's a 19. Wait, hold on.

How did you get plus sit? Okay, keep going. Yes. And then plus three for Florence? Got it. Okay. So that's 22. That hits.

Okay. And then I roll 1D8 plus four ordinarily. for Florence, correct? Yes. All right, that's a three. And then I roll two, the sixes. So three plus four, plus five.

Okay. Plus five, plus five, two fives. So that's... Okay. 17. Yep. 17. Okay.

Up next is Fitzroy. And I, Disengage. Okay. All right. I mean, that was sort of my big nasty spell, and it seems like, did it, can you be honest? Did it even hurt? Uh, I mean, listen, it did some damage.

Okay. Did it do a cool amount of damage or? No, I'm a big, beefy boy. Oh, yeah? Well, I mean, at this point, you guys have hit, you guys have hit him collectively for 44 points of damage, and he's not bloodied yet. Okay. Well, let's see what I can. do about that.

Rage mode. Thunder strike. I don't know what to say yet. I'm working. I'm workshopping it and I go into rage. Okay. Which means is an eight.

Sorry, I need to find my effects of wild surge. Oh, okay. A beam of brilliant light lances from my chest in a five foot wide, 60 foot long line. Each creature in the line must succeed. on a constitution saving throw or take 2D8 radiant damage and be blinded until the start of my next turn.

Oh boy. So that's probably, I do not see any scenario where that beam does not include at least Argo. Yeah. As I Iron Man proton blasts from my chest. Uh, let's see.

Uh, I got a six plus seven. So a 13. So I did not pass. 13 is my save DC but does that mean Does in this in this case of a save I think actually it ties saves Yes Oh okay Argo how'd you do

Ugh Which one do I roll D20 Plus your con save And add what to it? Constitution 16 18 plus 1 19 Okay

Yeah you both dive out of the way of my laser blast. Oh shit. Wow. Okay. Was that? What the fuck? Spell was that? Dude. Yeah, man. Like, it was yesterday, it was Taco Tuesday yesterday, so I don't know if it was something I ate, but good Lord, that was a new one. You haven't seen that one before, have you? Fantasy Jesus, no. That was like a chest laser. That was radical. I even, that wasn't even my action. Can you believe it? Holy shit. And then I say, oh, and dodge this. And I jump in with my mall. to do a big crushing attack with it. That is a 14 plus 6, 20.

That does hit, yes. Fantastic. 2D6 plus 4. 5, 9 plus 6 is 15. Whammo. 15 damage. Oh, it was a good hit. Yeah, thanks.

I'm angry now. Wish the laser had gotten a little nip of you too. Now he is bloody. Good job, you guys. Yeah, let's see that teacher blood. Let's see. Now you're messing with the Thunderman.

Is he blinded? No. No, that missed. That missed. Okay. You're up, Master Fearbul. Just get hit it with my best shot here. Yeah.

I mean the best sort of like I think my best chance at him is moon beam so we're going to go with that just blaze him with a silvery beam of pale light that shines down in a cylinder I want to make it

so that he's on the edge of the cylinder so none of us get light blazed okay you don't have to center the cylinder on him it's not that wide of a cylinder actually so I think it would be fine but you got to do a Constitution, I think, hold on.

Yeah, Constitution savings throw, beat 14. He rolled a net 20. Fucking. Holy shit. Yeah, dude. He's an arena champion, you guys. That did not affect your roles. That doesn't make any sense.

Think about what you're saying. That's fair. I mean, I know that, but I'm just trying to give you a little bit of, like, like a little bit of word soup to explain why he's so good at it. A little bit of honey. I got you. A little bit of honey. I'll roll a D10 here.

Six, eight, 14. So you take seven incredible points of damage. Okay. Now it's my turn. And he is going to go into a rage as well.

What? And he is going to draw his radiant great sword. Uncle. Can we do that? And he is going to attack, let's see, who's done the most, let's say he's going to attack Fitzroy. Say psych right now. He rolled a 16 plus 8, 24.

Say psych right now, Travis. And that does 2D6 plus 4 plus 3. So that is 10, 14, 17 damage. What type of damage? Yeah, it's a radiant great sword, so I'm going to say radiant and slashing. Well, I'm good with one of those, so I'll just take full damage. How much was it? It was 17 points of damage.

Yeah, that'll do it. Now who's bloodied? It's me. It's you. All right. Can I tell you guys something? That was great. Why did those imps?

You just cut me with a big sword. Can I have like a second? Right, right, right, right, Marie. Are we done? There's no more fighting? Marie, would you please? I had a great move. Well, we're only going to go to...

I don't want to kill you. Yeah, let's call it. I think it's a tie, right? Well... I think we can take him. I do. Look at him, he's bloodied. Not as bloody as you, but he's bloodied.

I think we can get him. Don't you think so, Furbul? Come on. Surely the goal cannot be to kill this fight. Yeah. We have both shown, I believe, are levels of expertise. And Marie steps over and uses cure wounds. So you each are going to recover 2D8 plus 3 damage.

I rolled a 2 and a 1. Wow, cool. Good heel. I feel so much better now. Oh nice Just a little bit of my blood scoots back in Oh there it goes back out again I don't want to go on one of my

World Famous Rants here Because we've all got a lot on our plates As a species But the D8 is the least satisfying D-Roy to roll Yeah get them Every time I roll it it sucks It feels like I'm rolling a slice of velvita cheese

Or a small tree There's just no satisfying way to roll the D8 I don't enjoy it Have you tried spinning it like a dreidel Like in a fucking What's that Chris Nolan movie? Inception yeah

Finding Dory That's what I was thinking of Which one's your totem So now that you've healed a little bit Uh Crush says Yeah that you guys did fine Why did those emps

Kick your ass so bad What was wrong? What was off? Wait, you weren't there. They didn't kick our ass, we beat every one of them. Okay, you died. For like a second. Well, yeah, they kicked their asses then.

Wait, who? Verbold here and Fitzroy. They kicked their asses. Hey, you did a fair amount of ass kicking before you were killed. But imps should be easy. Hey, they turned into bats, and I'm afraid of those. The difference is there were so many of them and one of you. When there is one, we can work together.

But many is no good. There was also a big monster guy who said that he was responsible for all the imps. And so they had a leader They had a boss What? They had an evil boss That was made out Like a big imp?

He was an emperor Okay Yousa No he was made of something What was he made of boys? Do you remember? It was like he was made of Nipples or something

Ecor Chains No No Oh that's right Yeah It was made of chains Yes not nipples

Oh he was Like a chain demon Yeah. Ah, yes. This was the technical term. Well, fuck, that's way out of your guys' league. But we did it, didn't we? Vanquished him good.

We did vanquish him. Oh, see, you should have led with that. Now I'm actually kind of proud of you guys. I have been waiting my whole life for someone to say those very words. I mean, we're still going to train and shit. Good job. Thank you. Thanks a lot.

So the time has come for the Fearbulks question session, but before that happens, Argo, what have you been doing during the other two's question sessions? Well, you know, he's supposed to be investigating Fitzroy for the Unbroken Chain, and he's, you know, he doesn't feel real comfortable with this whole spy thing, so he's going to change genres. He's going to try being like a private eye. He's going to investigate.

So I think he wants to find out more about Fitzroy. So, I mean, I can remember you making the statement that the school has one of the most extensive libraries in our reality. So I think he's going to go to the library and talk to the librarian and see what he can glean. Excellent. So you make your way to the library and you meet with Sabor, the Torto. And also, a quick reminder, Sabor is one of the people who is in the unbroken chain with you. He was present at your initiation. So you can speak freely with him. Okay. As long as no one else is around. And he greet you and says, ah, hello. Hi. It's good to see you again. Um, hello, friend. And he slowly pulls up his sleeve and reveals his, uh, beautiful, uh, unbroken chain tattoo that he, he got at the hedgehog pin. Um, and, um, which he has continued to have embell, it's almost, it almost wraps around his whole arm.

He's continued to have it added on to all the time. And he, and he, he raises an eyebrow and kind of gives a very pointed look to say bore. Yeah, no one is here. Oh, we, yeah. I was giving you a chance to admire my tattoo. Why don't we step into my office? Does that, is that code for going into your shell? Because I don't think I can do that.

No, there's not like a house inside my shell. Oh, you're kidding. A cartoon. No. Oh, I always thought there's like, you know, like a little set. tea and a recliner and stuff. Oh, no. Come with me into my actual office.

Good. And he kind of gestures his head and shows that there is a Gary out here. Ah. Yes. But not one in his office. Correct. Okay.

Okay. Listen, I'm I'm checking out. I want to check out things on Fitzroy. You know, I'm on my secret mission, which I assume you know, so it's not that big a secret. Oh, yes, yes.

I was thinking like any, like a social register from Goodcastle or old issues of Knights Illustrated, especially the bathing suit of armor issues. Yes, that's very funny. I have to tell you, Argo, I'm sorry to go ahead and dead end that investigation, but I thought of that. I've poured through every social registry of, you know, rich families, bloodlines, nights, all of that. And I have not been able to find Fitzroy Maplecourt on any of them. Well, I was just thinking like a new, a fresh set of eyes, you know, a different perspective kind of thing. Maybe I, you know, I figured you had already gone through this stuff. But, you know,

maybe I could, you know, investigate it. Bring it from my viewpoint. It might come at it from a different angle. Well, what information have you been able to gather? Any specifics that might help narrow the search? Let's see. His mom carried a big purse with gum in it. It's been really tough getting any info.

Did you happen to catch her name? that might be more useful than what was in her purse. Oh, yes, sorry. Yes, it was, Dendra was her name. And she, like I said, she kept things in a great big purse, and she would give him candy that he thought sounded repulsive, but I thought sounded absolutely stunning. Dendra.

Hmm? Dendra. Wait, hold on. I feel. like, and he closes his eyes for a minute and thinks, yes, hold on. And he goes over to a stack of books and he picks one out and it is, uh, uh, you see it is labeled. M-A-L through M-A-R. And he starts flipping through. Uh, yeah, there, there is a listing here, but it's not, it's not, it's not from a bloodlined family.

This is not, huh. Okay. I'm, um, could I take a look at it? Uh, yes, but she's just listed as like, a cousin four times removed.

She's not, huh. And he hands you the book. And basically in, in the listing, it's just kind of a small footnote. Well, let me do it. Let me do an investigation check. Can I do that? Would that? Yeah, go for it. Okay. Investigation check.

That is a 14 plus 3, 17. That's very good. So, yeah, in this volume he has handed you, it's basically just like a small blurb under Maplecourt. But it basically, she's listed, she is listed as being kind of many, many, many, times removed from a bloodlined family, and you can see that it is not, so it does not seem that she came into any wealth or power or anything through this, that she just was like many, many, many, many times removed from this. So you are able to glean from your investigation check, that she was not her immediate family of any note or wealth or privilege.

So would that mean that Fitzroy really isn't royalty? It would seem that way. You also see that it is listed that she was married to a man named Jerry Maplecourt. And Jerry, it lists his profession as long haul caravaner. Wow. Caravan. Huh. So he was a truck driver?

Basically, yes. Oh, I'm not mean it to laugh. I... There's no way Fitzroy knows this, does he? Well, there is one more thing, and Sabre points to you can see a mailing address for Dendra. Oh, okay. Where is that? Well, I mean, I'm not going to tell you.

I don't know what the mailing address is, Clinton, but you could send her a letter. Oh, okay. I could write a letter to the mom. Yes. To Dendra. Hmm, I'll have to come up with some kind of clever ruse. You've given me a lot to think about there, friend Torto. Anything else in there?

Anything at all? No, I'm sorry. I wish we knew my... more. Well, this has given me a good start. I think what I'm going to do is write a letter to the mom and see where that takes me. Meanwhile, do you have any other books I might like to check out, you know, for entertainment purposes or maybe you have anything on barbarians?

I'd really like to find out, you know, more about, you know, his magic and all that kind of stuff. Anything at all? Any resources? We have many books. on barbarians. I will have some sent to your chambers. I will pick out the ones that I think will be most

useful. Also, I wanted you to know that the book you requested, the Adventures of Larry the Lime, that came in, I will have that sent to your chambers as well. I am in for a fun evening now. Thank you so much, Tortle. You are, Sabor, my brother, my friend. And so we have returned once more to the Thunderman Dormitory, and the Fearborg has entered.

And Althea says, ah, Master Fearbug, hello. Please, would you join me at the table here? I just have a few questions. The Fearbug comes in and sits down and pops his feet up on the table. So you will want to speak to the resident by the boy. Oh, is that you? Can't believe I got called into the principal's office. Oh, I, sorry, there must have been some kind of mis-cure.

I'm not the principal? I'm... Go ahead, teach. What did I do this time? Oh, you're not in trouble. I don't, I don't work here at the school. I'm a representative. from the heroic oversight guilds?

We're a governing body that make sure that heroes stay on the straight and arrow and that villains don't go too dark. We also make sure that hinge people and sidekicks are taken care of. Blah, blah, blah, pretend I am lowering sunglasses I do not have. Okay. I would like to ask you a few questions, Master Fearboat. I am sorry, this feels terrible.

Okay. Rainier told me. that it would be the proper approach for this situation. I have no frame of reference and I feel very bad about this. Yes, I think perhaps your friend Rainier might have been having a little fun. I am not the resident by the boy.

No, I figured that out, yes. I do not know what this means. Actually, at the Roelag Oversight Guild, we respect all races and cultures, and I actually know quite a bit about the fearbook, and I understand that fearbogs do not lie, Is that correct? Yes, it was very painful.

Ah, that's why you were squinting and crying the whole time? I held my stomach. Yes. I tried to pretend it was a cool guy pose. Yes, I did notice. This is a great shame. Okay. Well, as such, since I know that it hurts to lie,

I will try not to press you on anything that you do not want to decide. discuss. Is that okay? Thank you. You're welcome. First, I'd love to get to know a little bit about yourself. I have read in your file that you came to the school after it says here, wandering for quite some time and arriving here, is that correct? This is true. Now, I know that usually fear bogs do not leave their clans. So what made you decide to leave your clan and wonder? this was not my decision oh i am in exile oh master fearbook i'm so sorry to hear that i assume that this is one of the things you may not want to discuss if that is all right i understand this is not germane to my business here so i will not press you i do not want to make you

Thank you You know what I think it'd be best if I just got to the matter at hand How has your experience been here at the school? It is very different From the Home Ah yes I imagine so

I imagine it would be quite different being here surrounded by Non-fearable Yes so many bathrooms. Ah, yes. Have you enjoyed your time? It's very difficult. I have friends. I enjoy to study.

I I have a strange experience. experience? Oh. That I can think of little else. I... Master Fibbock, I do not mean to pry,

but this is why I am here. Can you tell me about this strange experience? I am being compelled to do things. Things I now have no memory of. Ah. Well, that is very serious, Master Fearbug. Yes, I am not liking this feeling of not in control.

Yes, I imagine that would be the case. Thank you for telling me. I do not tell you to unburden myself or... for your investigation. I need to know. I see. I, all of us live by a code. And I think there is nothing more sacred to us.

and for the first time since I came from the forest since I came from the mother I don't know if I am following this code make a persuasion check with advantage for me 14 plus 115 and 8 plus 1 9 to 15

Althea says I too believe that one must live by a coat, Master Fearbulk, and I take this matter very seriously. May I offer you something? May I loan you something, which I think might help? Yes. You say that when whatever happens happens, you then have no memory of it. And you see her fold back her lapel slightly and unpin a beetle-shaped brooch. and she says, I use this as a recording device to help me remember the things discussed in meeting so that I don't miss any details. Perhaps this might be of some advantage to you.

Is this kingdom a two-party consent state? No. We have no such. when it comes to the breaking of the law and someone's free will being compromised, the investigation takes precedent. So many small businesses like Thunderman LLC are tripped up in the early days by not being aware of local and federal regulations.

Well, I do understand that, but in this case, I think we'll let it slide. I must tell this is a secret bug I this bug I wear for a secret perhaps if

and I must not tell that I've worn a secret bug well if you are asked you should tell huh but perhaps it is underneath my leaf shirt

yes I think that That would be the way to go. And I must ask, Master Fearbog, if you do discover anything and if you need my help, do not hesitate to ask. Do you understand? Yes. Thank you, Master Fearburg. It has been my pleasure speaking with you.

Dear Dendra Maplecourt, greeting, salutations, and General Hazaz. We haven't been formally introduced in the flesh, so to speak, but I am Argonaut, keen friend, roommate and business associate of your son, Fitzroy. Let me just say right off the bat, your son is quite well. He is excelling in his class work, wreaking a lot of havoc among imps, and making fast friends with many of his fellow students, most notably myself, his best friend, and our other roommate of Furbog, named Bud, Furby, Dr. Fungus.

I tell you what, that can wait for another letter. Actually, the friendships are the reason I'm contacting you. We've all grown quite fond of Fitzroy and would like to surprise him with a kind of social event. Here at the academy, they have a tradition called a roast, and no, it does not involve cooking of any kind. I had to explain that to the fearbook. It's where friends gather and show their affection for a designated buddy by standing up and making speeches. most of them good-natured ribbing of the honoree. I am organizing just such an event, and Fitzroy will be the honoree.

I was hoping perhaps you could tell me about Fitzroy's childhood, tell me about yourself, Fitz's father, any detail at all to help me come up with some facts about Fitzroy that he will be surprised to hear coming from me, his best friend in the world. Of course, it's all in fun, but the more personal, the deeper the secret, the more effective the japerie will be. Of course, I in return vow to watch over Fitz and allow no harm to come to him here. That is a solemn promise that I do not make lightly.

But to ease any concerns you have over the safety of your boy, my BFF. By the way, this is going to be a surprise, so please don't tip my hand. Don't let Fitzroy know that I'm planning this. Looking forward to hearing from you, and in the words of Larry the Lime, Don't be rickety! You're humble and obedient Argonaut Keen, CCO, unofficial, of the Thunderman Corp. P.S. If you have any of that hot mint gum, I would love to surprise him with some of that at the roast.