The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Graduation Ep. 12 "Pop Quiz"

Episode Date: April 16, 2020

On the eve of another real world mission, the Thundermen finally get the whole story.Major questions are answered, everything is on the line and dinner is ruined. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Hey, everybody, it's me Gary. So let's see, what's been happening on the Adventure Zone graduation? Well, Argo, Fitzroy, and the Fearbolg are all students at Hieronymus Wigginstaff School for Heroism and Filony. The school is run by Hieronymus Wigginstaff and his brother Higlemus. The Fearbog has been forgetting things, and it seems to have to do with going into Higgelmiss's office. So he made a deal with the Gairies to make sure that Fitzroy knew next time he went. there, uh, Argo wrote a letter to Fitzroy's mom. So that was a thing that happened. Uh, you know, in general, there's been a lot of mystery, a lot of strangeness. So I'm sure we'll probably

find out something about that in this episode. Let's listen, shall we? A few days have passed. Earlier, you received word that the three of you drew the early slot for real world assignments this semester. Tomorrow morning, you'll be given all the details. pick up your equipment and ship out. Tonight, though, is a chance for some corporate bonding. As such, Argo has volunteered to make dinner for the three of you in your dorm room. Argo, what are you cooking on the fantasy hot plate? Argo recently discovered, you know, his whole thing about rickets.

Oh, really? He has a thing about rickets? Yeah, and so he thought all this time, he just spent some time in the library doing a little research. and it doesn't have to just be citrus fruits. There are other things that are vitamin C rich. And one of those things is chili peppers. So he is he's cooking up a whole vat of like chili peppers for dinner tonight. Oh, wow.

Okay. I don't know what they are on the scopolamine scale or whatever it's called, but it's the. The dolomite. It's going to go. Not that. Not that. It's going to be hot.

It's going to be hot. You know what else was vitamin C, rich, was school dances in 1999. Graduations. We were actually looking for graduations. He's school graduations is what we're looking for, Griffin. Okay, so you're just making a big pot of chili peppers. I'm going to go ahead and say that Fitzroyd does not eat that. Because I can role play and play any character.

You know this. But it's hard for me to. distance myself from a sentient human being enough to say like that that sounds like a good idea. Okay. How about stuffed chili peppers? Better. Stuff with what? Stuff with smaller chili peppers.

See, I knew that's where you were going to go with it. No, stuffed with the omla. Amla, those are Indian gooseberries also vitamin C rich. Okay, man. And you can pick it out. If you see the things you don't like, you can pick it out. I okay um and salmon croquettes sure

leave the tapestry that's what I said is that all come on I want more food daddy cook me more food no I think that'll be that'll be it make me suit come on bangorang dad breathe some more rainbow food in the life uh blood pudding for dessert is it blood blood pudding I dumped it on the floor next that's what came in the blue tunic box make me Fish sticks, Dad.

Dad, many fish sticks. I'm now in character. I want sweet creams and treats. Have you never had blood pudding before? This is too spicy. I want sweet dessert treats and creamy delights. Is this spicier than the gum your mom used to gave you? Ha ha!

Hot mint gum, see, you like spicy? It's hot. It's spice, but it's more of a, it's not like an acidic spice. It's not like a chemical spice. Everything you've made today is too spicy and also not sweet or creamy enough. Don't you agree, Master Fearbol? I have eaten parts of my chair. I won't eat sweet cream.

You see, he agrees with me. This is a subterfuge. All right, there's... Not sound like that, do I? There are pudding pops. I mean, would that be... We're getting closer, aren't we? With their blood pudding pops?

We're farther away. Hey, everybody, it's me Gary. Oh, thank God. Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to let Aga know that there's a letter for him. An owl is on its way with it. Gary, what is the flavor of a Gary? No, Gary's aren't for eating.

They're for loving. I was just kidding about the owl, by the way. We don't use owls. That was just a joke. Ah. It's a pretty funny joke. I mean, I thought it was pretty funny, but then we kind of just skip right over it. I was going to make it.

Anyways, we use magic. So Yoletta, it's already been delivered to your room. It's in there. It's on your pillow. Okay, thanks. What's it say? Oh, no. Fan mail from some flounder.

Yeah, because, you know, I live on the sea and I was a sailor, and it's a flounder. It's just you don't rarely get mail, Argo. I know. I just was curious who it's from. Well, you know, I, uh, I'll read it later. I mean, I don't want to interrupt this. You know, we have not spent very much time together, you know, as a unit.

And so I read it later. It's not that important, really. Okay. Did we all get these letters? No, just our go. Okay. Well, I guess we'll just talk about eating pretend dinner for an hour and a half. All right.

Okay. You want me to read the letter? You don't have to tell them. You can go in a different room. Like, you don't have to put on a little show. Well, I mean, he's wanting to know all about the letter. What I'm, you know. But there's privacy in this world.

You're not, you're not living in a Frank Lloyd Wright house with no walls. It's, okay, I have a pen pal, all right? And it's kind of personal. They, maybe they're, you know, in prison somewhere. It's just some, it's a private thing. You know what? I think you've taken a lover. Hmm?

No. Perhaps you've found yourself a little romantic liaison, uh, perhaps. But this is wonderful. Why have you hidden this love? Who's, who's the lucky person, huh, Argo? Well, we haven't really, uh, we haven't really met, physically met. It's kind of, um... Oh, you haven't met you haven't met in Congress.

Right. Well, or in person. We haven't really met like that. It's just, we've just kind of made a connection. And I just, you know, there's just something there. I don't know what it is. You know, it's just nice to have another, you know, person to bounce ideas off of. Oh, sure.

I'm happy for you, Argo. Genuinely, we all need that sort of connection in our lives. Oh, well, good. Good. Thank you. Thank you for understanding. You know, it's, you know, schoolwork is kind of tough and everything else. It's nice to have, you know, like a sounding board, somebody, you know, to kind of run things by. Are we ever going to get to meet them? Is it someone that we know or? It's, no, it's nobody here at the, at the school. No, it's, no, it's kind of far away. You know, it's safer that way. Canada It is

Yes but that's Canada with a K Canada Yeah It's actually it's pronounced canada Just real quick We'll give you your privacy So that you can Enjoy your letter

We promise not to spy That would be a good thing Thank you for letting me have that That little bit of privacy You know And after You know When things have moved along

a little bit farther, I'll share with you. I just, you know, I don't want to make a big deal of it if there's nothing really there, you know? I've gone on to caring about something else. Okay. So, Argo, you step into the bedroom and you pop open the letter is addressed from you, and you see that the return address is Dindra Maplecourt. Right?

And the letter reads, hey! You don't know that yet. Oh, okay. The letter reads, Dear Mr. Keane, it's so wonderful to hear from you. It's very nice to know that Fitz is making friends. From what he has told me, I got the impression that he never really quite fit in with all those snobs at the night school. This roast thing sounds like a lot of fun. I just wish I had more fun stories to share. The truth is, Fitz had a pretty normal childhood. He was special to us, of course, but when he didn't show any signs of magic,

we figured he'd just taken after his dad, Jerry. Maybe even become a caravaner like. him. Then he was chosen to become a knight for Goodcastle, and we were just over the moon. We took out a big loan against Jerry's caravan so we could pay the night fees and to send him to that fancy school. Then out of nowhere, boom, he starts doing this weird magic. Honestly, I have no idea what that comes from. My family's magic has always been illusory, not whatever this is. We thought his dreams of becoming a night were over. Just imagine how happy we were when we heard from Wigginstack. saying that an anonymous benefactor had paid his tuition. But listen to me rattling on.

If you can use it, Fitsy slept with a blanket named Mr. Blanks until he was seven. I hope that helps. And thank you for looking out for him. That will help me sleep better at night. Yours, Dendra Maplecourt. P.S., please find enclosed three sticks of Fitz's favorite hot mint gum. Hmm. Okay.

So, um, I think he, would take the letter and fold it carefully, put it back in the envelope, and hide it with his rogue skill so that it couldn't be accidentally, you know, like stumbled upon. Mm-hmm. Make a, let's say, stealth check. Because you're doing it, no one's watching, so it wouldn't be slight of hand. You're trying to hide something, so we'll go with stone. Ooh, not good. that's seven plus well eight that's 15 yeah that's good you hide it you feel pretty confident uh that

that it is hidden somewhere where no one will find out when you come when you come back out into the the general hall um i look up at you uncomfortably because i ran out while you were gone and i got burgers burgers king he got he got king burgers yeah I've kind of got my mouth open with some burger in it like, so it's for the Fear Bowl, he wouldn't stop. He wouldn't just, he would not stop about the burgers king. I have only consumed the tomato slice, but it was. Except.

Exceptual. Well. I will talk faster next time. I did not think about watching me talk that slowly with a full mouth.

It must be quite this spectacle. Not good, not good. It's like I'm watching like table-side salsa being prepared or something. I hate it. Artisanal. Fitzroy, and make a perception check for me.

Sure. That is a 15 plus 2, 17. You, when Argo reenters the room, you get a very distinct whiff of hot mint gum. Hmm. Now wait, now wait just a minute there. Because I'll throw this food right in the toilet. I'll take the burger right out of the Fearbolk's hands

and flush it right down if you got hot mint gum. Are you, do you have hot mint? Argo, do you have hot mint gum? Okay. I was saving it for a surprise. But, uh, here you go. And I hold out a stick of the hot mint gum to him. Mmm.

It's, uh, it's spicy men's. It's, this is the brand that we always had around the house. It's spicy mint gum. Hmm. Can't go. wrong with spicy mons. And this is the sound. Just in case people at home wanted to hear that,

the sound of gum being chute into a microphone. Yeah, I got a few sticks on G-Bay. And I thought that would be... I'm sorry, hold on, I'm sorry. What's the G-stand for? Garfield. No, no, get the fun. Got me.

Wait, wait, Gary? Gary Bay? Okay. G-B is you ask Gary if any other Gary's know where you can buy some go. And then if you want something a little more illicit, you have to get on the dark G-Bay. That's for the outside, Gary's. The deep Gary. Where did you really bought this from Gary?

Well, from the G-Bay, yeah, from the Gary Bay here. And I got three sticks all together. I want you to have all three of them. Because, okay, let me be honest. I'm trying to butter you up a little bit. I've kind of felt like I've been kind of the odd man out. Oh, I'm sorry. Hold on.

Hold on, hold on, dad. You're spitting a lot of stuff here. I need you to make a deception, Chuck. Oh. Because you did not really get them through Gary Bay. That was, let me check the records, a lie. Is this contested? Should I roll to roll insight?

Yeah, do it, Doug So deception That is a I got a 5 plus zero So not got a 10 I got a 10 plus 4 14 Okay The line plays

Sounds good to me I wanted to kind of kiss up to you a little bit Because I have kind of like felt like a A little bit of an outsider In the old Thunderman Corporation You know because you know You're the CEO And

Ferbulke is the C-O-O or C-F-O, and I wanted to be a C-something-O. And I wanted a title. I wanted to be a C-C-O. I want to be that C-C-C-O, the communications guy. Every member of the Thunderman team is a valuable component of the organization. We are more of a family. And as the Fearboat will tell you, there are certain payroll considerations to make.

There's a sort of salary cap and a very strict overhead if I'm using these terms correctly. Let me know if I'm not. So it makes new titles like that, a sort of quick acceleration like that, somewhat challenging. Wait a minute. You mean the fear bog's making more than me? A gentleman never tells. But, yes, quite a bit more, yes. Well, wait a minute.

We've been members of the group the same amount of time. Where's my spanduli? Where's my pay hike? What's my... What's the deal? Fearbug, say something dope about money. When you turn, the fearbug is gone. Hey, he left.

Yeah, where does that leave you in your argument there? I guess he just, I guess he's sort of averse to confrontation. Listen, it is nothing, it's nothing personal, all ago. I also feel a slight disqual. between the two of us, but, you know, sometimes colleagues don't have to be on the same wavelength all the time. And in fact, that sort of friction can be very, oh shit, I just realized something. Fearbug, you are vaguely aware of moving through the cool of the evening. You pass by shadows unsure if they are buildings, trees, or people.

Your feet are moving, but you are unsure why. The sound in your ears merge into a persistent buzz. As you pass from cool moonlit air to darker warmer air, a doorway perhaps, a single word penetrates the cacophony. In this word, you hear both a question and concern. Buddy? Back in the dorm. Your Gary pipes up once more. Hey, fellas, it's to meet Gary again.

Uh, I just heard through the Gary Vine that your pal Thierborg is headed up to Higlemus's office. Apparently, we're supposed to tell Fitzroy so he can stop. him. Anyway, have a good night. Argo, there is something that I haven't told you, and I know there's something you have not told me, but we do not have time to hash this out right now. I need to go and find our Fearbug friend. You can come with me if you want, but we need to be discreet. Do you understand? I can do discreet. I can do discreet very well. I am a rogue. Okay. Let's go. Gary, where specifically is he?

Oh, heading into the ANX. Okay. I'm bolting. We better beat feet. Yeah, let's go. So roll both of you a stealth check. Are we out after curfew or something? Yeah, it's mostly you're just like rushing to get there and you don't want to draw too much attention because that is not a normal thing to be doing, sprinting across campus at night.

I got a 13 plus 2. I got a 10 plus 8 18 yeah you both definitely succeed you move quickly but with purpose I'm just kind of hot stepping yeah you're you're going you're moving quietly um you're you're a natural at this I go I mean you you you are a rogue by trade um and Fitzroy you know you got a light step you're a careful runner you're agile uh sort of a sort of dandy Trot. A dandy trot, but a careful dandy trot. A dandy trot that's been on some adventures. So you reach the annex building and you have no idea how long it's been since the Fearbug has entered. I mean, it usually takes you like 15 minutes to walk from the dorms at a leisurely pace, you know, stopping and saying hi to everybody.

So you're betting maybe five minutes at a full-blown sprint. You are both, I don't know, make athletics. Check, let's see if you're winded. 16 plus 5. Oh, you're great. You feel invigorated. I have more wind, didn't me. Yeah. Two plus three, that's five.

Oh, yeah. You are winded. Hang on. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Okay. All right. Boy, I tell you what, being stealthy just sucks it right out of you.

Hey, it's my buddies. It's me outside, Gary. Hello, outside, Gary. Remind me to hit you up later for some needs I have. Word. I've just found out you can fill for me. What do you mean? Oh, you know what I mean.

You nasty. Hey, listen, have you seen the Fearbug lately? Oh, yeah. He just went in. You need to go stop him. Yeah. Yeah, he told me that that might happen. Okay, Argo.

So, God, where to start? Again, we don't have much time. The Fearbug has consistently been mind-controlled by some, force in this school and we assume it is hey Gary are you cool yeah I'm I'm cool can you like earmuff can you go on privacy mode for a second oh uh you know what for buddies you got it and he pokes his little Gary fingers in his little Gary ears it's cute listen something has been controlling the the Furiburg and sending it into Higelmiss's office and so

we need to find out what's going on because it's been happening consistently and for months. So She's Louise. Okay. And the only reason we didn't tell you about that is because you've been sneaking out at night and we don't know sort of what your whole deal is and yeah, we can again, this is a beef

worth squashing and we'll get to it later. Right, we will, yeah. Right now I think it will behoove us to save our friend. I'm with you 100% come on, let's go. You reach Higgelmiss's door, it is closed and there's

no sign of the fearbook, so you make the safe assumption that he is already inside. Can I see if it's locked? You can. Is that investigation? Yeah, make an investigation check.

Okay. It's 14 plus 3, 17. Ah, that's a great check. You are able to discern that it is locked. You can also see etched around the lock, some tiny runes, some arcane runes. And you have learned from your independent studies with Jackal that this is most likely a magical trap around this lock. But because you have investigated successfully, you were able to determine that it exists. And it's actually quite easy once you're spot.

You just scratch out the top left corner ruin. Now hold up. A little folly work there. Great. That's pretty good stuff. Let's, before we go in, do you mind if I just kind of slice the pie a little bit to find out what we might be sneaking into? Sure. Yeah.

Go for it. I pull out Snippers. I summon Snippers, I guess. I tie a little bandana around him. And I set him down on the floor and I say, now, Snippers, listen, I need you be a quiet boy. That's a little bit loud. Can you make quiet bubbles for Daddy? Okay, Snippers, I need you to sneak under that door and find and show me with our telepathic link.

Remember how we do that sometimes? What's going on in there? But it's real important you don't get caught because you are a very recognizable pet. And people will know exactly who you belong to. So can you do that for daddy? Scuttle, my little man. So, Snippers. scuttles under the door, swift, swiftest thought. And you close your eyes and you can see

through his eyes now. The angle is not good because once again, he's like three inches tall. But you are able to see the fear ball standing almost like a drunk, you know, a little bit wobbling back and forth. His eyes unfocused, lids have closed. And you can see Higglemus speaking to him in a low voice, like staring. at him pretty intensely. If you wanted to make out the words, you would need stimpers to move even closer. So sort of paint a picture, because I think it'll be important for like what happens next. Is Higgelmiss's desk, I assume, facing the door? It's kind of sideways to the door. So you would walk in the door, his desk is on the left. There's a fireplace on the right.

they are kind of standing in the middle, I would say about two feet apart. I'm saying there's no room for us to literally open the door and get inside this room without, like, I don't know how spacious and all. Okay. I relay that to Argo. Yeah, I don't think we're going to be able to get in there, bud, without rousing some suspicions by which I mean getting caught and potentially like disintegrated or something. Well, does Snipper see the Furbulk in there? Yep, I mean, I can see the Fearbug through my crab's many powerful eyes. But then why aren't they attacking the Fearbug? Who? Why hasn't the Fearbug tripped any of these alarms or anything?

Yeah, because he's been mind-controlled by Higmus. I told you this outside, Argo, you were paying attention, right? Right, I did, but I mean, okay, all right, well, Could we pretend we were being mind-controlled and walk in? Would that help anything? It certainly, it would be funny. Like, it would be funny. I think we'd get a good laugh out of it.

If we walked in there and we were like, oh, you got us too. But I think he would know that he's not also mind-controlling us. Don't you think? Sure. Then you come up with something wise guy. I think we could do I don't think we're going to go in there

We can bring them out to us With a little emergency A little uh-oh A little whoopsie Don't you think Oh okay All right Go on

So we're like an improv thing Yeah go go ahead What's the premise Okay The premise is that this This hallway can be very on fire Or a little on fire It depends on how much fire

I can I do to it And then you can run in Be like Oh no there's fire it's so bad everybody needs to get out wait a minute what hey it's so funny that you're here fear bold and like but then you'll be like yeah then you'll be like we gotta get out of here there's oh you gotta get out of here there's fire in the hallway do I sound like that is that is that my voice is that so far I've done it insults me that the two of you don't think I can

do spot-on impressions of you you don't you don't that and cussin you're you haven't really nailed those yet but I mean I appreciate that Yes, I don't. Yeah, still. Still. Okay, let's do that. Start your fire and I'll unlock the door and rush in. Gary, do that.

Okay. Gary, do you have like an automatic fire alarm system built in? Is there a Gary in this hallway? No. So, after much discussion, still connected to Snippers. You hear, you hear Higglemus say the words, banana nutmeg in a commanding voice

and then you hear the door open and there is standing Higgelmiss and a seemingly more conscious fear bog and Higgumus is very surprised to see the two of you oh uh there's a fire there's fire you need to

you need to get hell Furby hello friend And yeah, and you need to get out of here too because there's, there, according to Fitzroy, there's some kind of fire out here. We've got a whiff of something. It's a little one. A small fire. Why don't you, why don't you boys step in my office real quick? And the four of us will figure out this fire thing.

I have to use the bathroom. Oh, come on in. I have a private one. I have my own private one that I like. I think if we don't get out of here, there's the conflagration's going to get it. Also, the fire, yes, there's a lot of plots kind of going on at once, but there is a fire. The three of you need to come inside right now. Why am I here?

Uh, uh, don't you remember you? Why am I here? Seems like a pretty straightforward question. The fear ball is standing at full height. He never does this. Uh, Higgelmiss attempts to close. the door. The fair bulk starts to cast Shaleli. Oh, shit.

He's fucking done. You are, you boys are trying a lot of attention. You need to come inside right now. Before this, I had nothing. I can go back to nothing. What I will not have

is a body that is not my own. Why am I here? Cinnamon strawberries. And when he says that, you remember.

Okay, so, now, come inside, hurry. Yes, it's fine. Follow. All right. Come on, Fitz, let's go. Okay.

but you don't want to see my hand where my fire be at, because I can throw those. Should we put that out before we... There was not a fire. It was a live fire. Let's go. Oh. I was going to conjure water,

because I don't give me any chances to do that. When Higgelmiss closes the door behind you, you see him, plays a hand on the door, and glowing runes light on this side, and you can see where they've been lightly carved into the wood. And he says, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to get you boys involved in this.

I'm so sorry. Please, have a seat. Ferbul, are you okay? Are you all right, Furbul? This is fine. Okay. And so you all take seats around the fireplace where Higelmiss has indicated he sits down with his dog hero to his left. And as Higlmess begins to speak, his hand absentmindedly begins to.

to scratch the dog's head and pet hero. So, you have a decision to make, and it's a decision I've offered to many people many times. And honestly, there is no wrong answer. I can tell you everything. And you can help. But you'll help.

be in danger. Or I can wipe this right now, and you'll never remember. I will not have my memory gone anymore. I am living in the truth. Yeah, I'm with the fear bug.

Yeah, and I think whether or not where minds are wiped, it sounds to me like there's danger anyway, so yeah, I'm in. Tell us about it. So, 50 years ago, a demon prince attempted to kill Hieronymus Wigginstaff. This story kicks ass already. Yes, it does.

Well, a demon prince? Yes, we had fought him before and driven him back. And now it seemed that he was targeting him again. What? you young boys, what you must remember is time is so much older than you can perceive your lifespans

what are there, even you you half elf 250, 300 years maybe we elves can live to be 700, 800, 800 years I have seen centuries come and go. I remember the world when it was wild, not

sophisticated and ordered and bureaucratic like it is now. There was a time where heroes fought demon princes and saved kingdoms, not for money, but because it's what heroes did. And there were mistakes. There were there was collateral damage but

it was what heroes did I'm sorry I'm getting distracted so 50 years ago a demon prince targeted Hieronymus with a curse targeted him at the molecular level and the only way

to save him you see I've always had a knack for transformation spells and I could save my brother, but sacrifices had to be made for him and for me. It worked, but I channeled a large portion of the curse. That's why I'm as old as I look. And you, and your, now your brother is the dog? Yes.

Oh, shit, I was making a joke. Your brother's the dog? That's right. I was goofing. You turned your brother into it. That's a very good guess. That was a good. But who's your brother's not a dog?

Because he also like comes out and talks to us sometime during meal times and says like inspiring shit. Wait a minute. Is that the dog? We'll get to that in a second. Oh, because at least top three most inspiring dogs I have met. Incredible. Lassie one. Obviously.

Little is hobo Canadian Lassie, too. Your brother, the dog, three. No, no. That, that... What about Tramp? Tramp figures in there, doesn't he? Tramp is a bingy. Oh, yes, yeah.

Bingey. The Hieronymus that you're talking about is not the dog. Me and Hero have not been able to leave this office in 50 years. I have heavy warding in here that keeps us from being targeted again. No. See, after I saved my brother,

the next day, two big events occurred at the school. First, this new Hieronymus showed up. And second, the world broke. If you look out of the window, it used to be a, flowing field, but without sound or any kind of fury, this gigantic crack in the earth formed.

And for whatever reason, everyone else on Nua woke up remembering that the godscar chasm had been there forever. But I remember the truth. That chasm is only five decades old. And it appeared fully formed. No one, everyone is aware of the chasm, but no one seems to think of it for too long. People's minds just seem to slide off of it. That's why it's unexplored.

And so for 50 years, we've sat and we've waited and we stayed safe. Then the fearbug came, and I knew that the fearbug, they understand nature. They are connected. So I asked the fear bog about my dog, and he didn't notice anything. And that confirmed my suspicions. The transformation is becoming permanent.

His consciousness is fading. I have to undo this transformation, or my brother will be gone forever. there's a problem the problem was I don't have the materials I need to cure my brother

and I couldn't ask any of the staff or other teachers for help because it might draw the attention of whoever this fake hieronymus is and so I asked the fear bug and

And listen, I, on the one hand, he was perfect because he was honest and true, and I knew I could trust him. But that in and of itself was also the problem because I knew that he could not lie. So I discussed it with him, and we made a plan. I would tell him what needed to be done and then wipe his memory. burying the instructions in his subconscious. It was all done with his consent. He'll tell you. He can tell us whatever he wants,

but you've already confessed that you can alter people's memory. So how are we to know what is true and what is not, even if it comes from our friend's mouth? I understand. Like, I'm sorry you turned your brother into a dog, but you did sort of psychically manipulate our friend. And also, hey, quick cue, where's Leon? Because I'm assuming you were doing a little bit of mind control on him too.

Was he also like wicked plugged into nature or what was that all about? Oh, hold on one moment. And he goes and opens the window. And the hawk that you saw at the hospital comes and lands on his shoulder. and he says, Leon's been doing some spying for me. All right, animorphs. Like, so if someone does something that you don't like, you turn them into an animal? No.

Can I call dibs on like wolf or something badass like that? This is not a punishment. This is, I'm keeping them safe. I told you, there's a danger. There's a demon prince out there who wants to destroy me and my brother. And anybody who knows that the God's sarcasm shouldn't exist. that there's a fake Hieronymus Wigginstaff or that even my brother and I are alive. Like these things put you in danger.

I have to keep you safe. Don't you understand? I do. Listen, let me. I want to ask the Furbog. You just said we could ask the Furborg. If you've returned control of his mind back to him and he is the most honest creature on the face of the earth. Furbulk, what's up with this story?

Are you, is he telling them the truth? It's all true. There is something I want to ask because I know that the fear bog has understanding, so he has probably had this discussion before, so he probably remembers this discussion. So I want to ask you, just as Justin, why has he kept himself? Like, I understand keeping other people out of it,

but why is he kept silent about, like, fake brother and stuff like that. Why is he not spoken out about it? So the reason is that the fact that Hieronymus survived the curse is information that only Higelmus has. And so any questions about this is a fake Hieronymus, how would he prove it? What indication would he have any of those things? And he hasn't been able to leave the office. he's basically just become incredibly increasingly paranoid of anything happening to either him or or Hieronymus. And he also doesn't know who to trust.

He doesn't know who is working for the demon prince and who is, you know, an honest and true person, which is the reason that he trusted the Fear Bold because he knows that the Fear Bold cannot lie. Okay. Fearable, friend, I have to ask, I, you have stuck your neck out. and put yourself into a significant amount of danger and given up all of your mental faculties from time to time to help out this guy and his brother dog. Like, why? Why do all this for them? I know you're a good soul, but that goes beyond just general kindness. Eat of some valnoll. Give a thousand for nothing. This is the code.

Huh? Well, it is a code. The code of the fearbook. Oh, oh, right, got it. We have discussed this at length. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So did you scout him out from his swamp home, or was he an actual, genuinely enrolled student here when you found him? Oh, the fact that he's here is a complete, just,

lucky break for me. I had no idea that he was coming. But when he stopped by with you guys on that first day of the year, I saw an opportunity. And I, you know, I sent word that we needed to meet and work out some details of his, you know, the schedule or whatever. And that was when the plan was made. I haven't, you know, manipulated anybody. I didn't know. So Ferbaud, you're doing this, you're doing this, you're doing this.

voluntarily, right? He's not making you do this, right? Oh, no. This was my decision. I remember everything. There are no gaps. I feel as though the leaves have dropped

and I can see this guy. And Leon, is he beyond your ability to transform back as well? No, I've had decades to perfect the spell. This, I have been working on it for years. I, like I said, I have figured it out. I've got it now.

Okay, Leon, transform back now. Well, I would have to do it. But you need the components. Yes. And I'm, let's call, can I call the question here? I don't want Furbog doing this mission on his own So, I mean, would it not speed up the process

If you had like three of us helping with this Gathering mission or whatever it is? Are you volunteering? Yeah, I think I am. Yeah, I'm not the devious one. Well, I am kind of a devious one. I don't want either of these guys to be out there And of course, I don't know if Fitzroy's interested or not,

but I don't want Furbol got there being the only one that's a target of this. And, you know, I don't know if I trust you 100%, but I sure do trust the Verbald. Higelmiss, if I have learned one thing at this school, it is this. What's in it for us? And he smiles. Well, do you want to be a hero? It's come to my attention that those labels don't necessarily matter a whole lot. What I want to be is a knight in the realm of Goodcastle, where I'm currently serving in absentia.

My journey is a strange and twisting one, Higlmiss at this point, but as you seem like a great principal or vice dean or whatever, but you are asking us to put our lives at risk so that we can make sure your brother doesn't turn into a dog. You understand how that's not necessarily my largest concern, right? Oh, I might not have made myself clear. Do you want to be a hero? Did you come to this school? Did you start on whatever this path is because you wanted a title? Or because you wanted to do the right thing? Because I can erase your mind, let you go on all three of you.

I can find another way. It will be tough and I don't know what I'll do, but I could. But if you're all here to be better and be heroes, this is our chance. You like literally just said that you're not manipulating anyone. And that was like wicked manipulative. Yes, we want to be heroes. We want to be big and brave so that we can risk our lives. Again, risk our lives so that your brother doesn't turn into a.

dog. This is, that is not a great quest, Higgelmiss. There's a, there's a third option where we just kind of dip and then like, know this stuff. And so our lives are a little bit safer at this school, knowing kind of the picture of what's going on now. And then we all just kind of graduate and continue on the Thunderman business as, as, you know, successful partners. So that's the option three. And that one looks pretty good right now, Higelmus, because I I don't know that I want to die in the service of your brother not being a dog anymore. What I'm about to say, forgive me because it is going to sound very threatening, and I do not mean it to. It is just a statement of fact.

But you would not be walking out that door with the memory of this discussion intact. Yeah, that sounded a little threatening. Yeah, pretty threatening. A little bit. I recognize. Listen, I prefaced. I said. I know.

I, yeah. But the fact of matter is, is that saving my brother is just step one. Because let's look at the bigger picture here, boys. Someone ripped the world a new one. And that chasm has been leaking out wild magic for 50 years. and he looks at you Fitzroy and says, and I think you know something about wild magic. Yeah, I didn't do it.

So, like, I would have remembered blowing a butt crack in the side of the world. Oh, I'm not saying you did it. I'm saying that right now, as far as any of my research and any of my scouts and spies have been able to figure, there's only two places on all of Nua where this wild magic exists. in the godscar chasm and in Fitzroy Maplecourt.

Okay, so I guess it is me. Sorry, guys, my whoopsie, I must have just like slept walked, sleep, sleep, walk, you know what I mean.

Unless you're 50 years old, Fitzroy, I don't think you caused the chasm. I think maybe the other way around. I climbed out of its earthen moon. No,

that the magic that's... You were born from the Earth's But crack. No, that the magic that manifested in you is somehow connected to the magic leaking out of the guy. I shouldn't have to... No, yes, we piece it together. Okay.

Then why are we talking about butt cracks? It's just, it's another great lead that you have given us that we can follow up on. This is going to be awful fan art. Eaglemas. Tell them about your brother. It's hard to decide even where to begin. My brother, it sounds so empty to say that he's the greatest person I've ever known. But imagine if I said that and you truly believe that it was not, I'm not speaking metaphorically.

I'm not speaking in grandiose terms. He is quite literally the greatest person I have ever known. He has saved so. so many lives and asked for nothing in return. He founded this school so that he could train so he could train a new generation of heroes to be what heroes should be. And villains though, right? And villains?

Not at first. 250 years ago when we opened this school, it was just a training school. The world changed. around us and the school changed with it but that was not his intention when he began the school he had such lofty goals and slowly the world chipped away but he still believed that people would do good not for a paycheck but because it was the right thing to do and the world and the world still needs that.

I would have died saving my brother. If that would have... If I could have spared him any of this, at any cost, I would have. Out of love, yes, but because I know the world is a better place

with Hieronymus Wickenstaff in it. This is... What? He said to me, this, these words, this is why I let myself be changed, let my mind be vanished. Blood eton air blood com. The blood of the runt is the blood of the king. Proxterif wrong clangbird. bravery, effort, and honor over birth. This one person is worth this. This is something we can do.

Well, I don't want to speak for Fitzroy, but I'm in. Whatever we can do, whatever I can do to help you fix your brother the dog, or find out who fake Hieronymus is or whatever patch up the chasm, whatever. I'm in. I'm in. You got my hand here. I'm holding out like, you know, like the Lord of the Rings thing. I'm in.

I'm doing it. Hero puts his paw on your hand. Argo, this thing, it will look very good on your quarterly evaluation. This is the kind of attitude we look for in an up-and-coming thunderman employee. Well, I'm not doing it for that reason, but if that's a bonus, yay me. It doesn't hurt, yeah. It doesn't hurt. It's not bandy the term bonus about it makes him very nervous financially.

No, it doesn't make me nervous at all. It makes me happy about it. I want a bonus. Yeah, okay. What do you say? Yeah, I just, but. Before I say anything, I'm going to say a thing that I said like 10 minutes ago before we all talked about how brave this dog is, which was what is in it for us. Because you asked if I wanted to be a hero.

Yep, I did. And you asked if I wanted a title. Higlm is the only thing I really ask from you is for a diploma. So I think that's a pretty good trade, don't you think? Sure. Fitzroy, if that's, yes. you help me save my brother and by extension the world and I will give you a piece of paper

that says you have finished your schooling here or whatever. Thank you, right? Good. If you had started there like a bit ago, you probably could have got me to do it just for some hours, but you agreed and you all saw it that he's going to give me a diploma and that means I'll get to wear the cool robe and the cool hat and I get to sail over the ocean or the mountains or wherever direction good castles in,

and then everything's great. Listen, of course we'll do it. Of course we'll do it. This is a great chance for the Thunderman organization to prove itself. To cut our teeth on a big global chaotic adventure? That sounds radical. Well, good to hear you finally. I'm bored.

Um... Can you advance like half the... diploma? No. What? Oh, can you sign this sheet that says that I can get a bunch of golden stuff to make some cool, like rings or whatever? Sure.

What the fuck do I care? Yeah, sign right there. Okay. And right there. An initial right there. You got it. Cool. That's a good start.

It doesn't affect me. Oh, I'm happy to cost this school whatever money you need. Oh, my God. Hey, guys, did you hear that? We want the permanent whole pass But that's legend I have heard of it told in legend and myth I'll begin crafting the dark ruins

My friend Derek Told me about it during shop class I want our own private crapery Open with a full time With full time staffing inside of our dormitory This is non-negoti Well, I mean, if I make big, I can, okay, sorry, let me rephrase. I can give you anything within reason that I can justifiably say will help benefit your schooling and adventures or whatever.

I can't set you up, you know, a water slide in your dorm or whatever. That sounds cool too, and I'm adding it to the list or else, oh, sorry, puppy. You want tummy rubs? Can I tummy rub your brother? I'm a very powerful, you can. He actually really likes that. But I'm a very powerful wizard. I just want you to keep that in mind

before you start being, you know, a little shit. So if that's everything, and everyone's on board and up to date, I have been beefing up these wards. And he kind of waves his hand, and you see all carved along the rafters, in the stones, in the doors, in the window frames, everything.

Just about every surface of this room begins glowing with ruins. And the whole thing, is warded. Everything is ready, and the Fearbug has already brought me just about everything I need, but there's one more ingredient I need. Tomorrow, you are being sent out on an assignment. I pulled some strings to make sure you were assigned to this one.

I said that this would be, I don't know, good for Argo or whatever. I can't even remember. But basically, there are two her. of centaurs that are on the brink of doing battle. Every year, their sacred tree grows two apples. One goes to one herd, and one goes to the other. And this year, for whatever reason, for the first time, the tree only grew one.

And I need you, by hook or by crook, to bring me that apple. The whole thing, or just, will a slice, suffice? I'm going to need the whole apple. Not much vitamin C and an apple, so yeah, I don't want it. What's wrong with you? Why is that... I've explained the ricketts fear to you, yeah? This does not sound like the action of a hero. What is the apple for... To the centaurs, it's...

To the centaurs, it just represents balance. They don't know the power of it. It is merely a sacred tree. And this is a relic that blesses them with blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But for me, it is the last ingredient I need to make a potion that we can use over and over again to undo transformations. And we need it. Remember what I said earlier. Being a hero sometimes involves collateral damage.

But no one will get hurt, at least if you do your jobs right. They do not need this apple to live. You can figure it out, I believe, in the three of you. And also, to that point, I don't have anyone else to do it. So I kind of have to believe it. There it is. Yeah, I have a genetic context, yeah. In the three of you.

Um, yeah. Okay. Yeah, that sounds great. I've got like four or five ideas. We can go home and just sort of brainstorm it to pro and con list. I got this one where like we bring an apple from school or a big basket of apples and we just like dump them all on the ground on top of the magic apple. And then we're like, oh, no, oh no.

But I know which one the magic apple is. That's good. I like that. We can just steal it. I have a question. You don't have to raise your hand. Will we be honest with the Sintars about our intent? Well, that is a fine question, Master Fearbul.

I, and he kind of looks at Argo and Fitzroy and says, I imagine that will not be the case. Am I wrong, boys? Oh, almost certainly wrong, yes. You leave the talking to us And you focus more on the Apple stuff Because it seems like you're a forte Listen

I tell you this now And Hegelmus will attest You must not tell me The plan I am so bad to lie he must wipe my memory away. Okay.

I must not know the plan, swear it. Yes, we swear. We will keep you ignorant. It will be a need-to-know basis, and even then there's like a whole other basis below that that we will keep you on. Then let us march forward in blessed ignorance. One last thing, is this all part of,

a test of some sort. No. Okay, I had to ask. Fearbug, would you like me to wipe your memory again? It would be smart. I would love to... I, Jim, trying to think

of, as long as no one asks, I will be fine. And if someone asks, is the dog, your brother on this ship, as they say, has done the sink. You're not.

It's not in stealing me with a lot of confidence here, Mr. Feilbog, if I'm being out. Imagine how I feel. So is that a yes? It'll make things way more complicated. Please don't. No, I will be fine. These two will protect. I'll just start.

I'll cough really loud if he has to talk about something, so maybe they won't hear. Please do nothing. For the love of God, don't. Ever let the Fearborg out of your sight. If anyone asks him a direct question, if you have to knock him unconscious. whatever you need to do get him the fuck away from them

you may try this thing well to make a point he's only gotten out of our sight when you've magically ordered him to okay you know what I've explained all of that I'm not going to just I know you have I'm just saying you know

it's just we were playing fantasy fantasy cribbage the other day and he just left and that was rude That wasn't, I was, that wasn't me. And I shouldn't have to say this, but I'm going to just because it feels like the good call talking to three. No one else can know anything about this. Do you understand?

Not a friend, not an advisor, nobody, not even family. No one, anyone you tell is not only put a danger themselves, but could be, a danger to you. We don't know who we can trust. Do you understand? Oh, oh no, debug. What? Higlemus, I, I am afraid that L'DIA knows everything.