The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Graduation Ep. 20: Group Assignment

Episode Date: July 23, 2020

A new day is dawning and it's time for Thunderman, LLC. to get down to business.  The boys set out to interview some potential candidates for associate positions, but not before seeking to acquire some new assets. Fitzroy makes a spectacle(s). The Firbolg hits the books. Argo is surprised by a familiar face. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Hey, it's me Gary. Previously on the Adventure Zone graduation, a lot has happened. Three students, Ago, Fearbol, and Fitzroy started at Hieronymus Wigginstaff School for Heroism and Villany. Originally, they were all sidekicks at the Hinchperson and Sidekicks Annex, headed by Hieronymus's younger brother Higlemus, but then Fitzroy was promoted to the villain track. After having some adventures slash becoming BFFs, Higlmys dragooned them into helping him save his brother. Turns out he turned the real Hieronymus into a dog 50-year-old. ago to save him from the curse of a demon prince named Gray. Then, that very same demon prince

disguised himself as Hieronymus and took over at the school. While on a mission to collect a magic apple, Fitzroy had a vision in which a being called Chaos visited him and explained that they were the source of Fitz's magic. The Three Thundermen returned to the school to discover that Higglemus had been lying to them. Fake Hieronymus, aka the demon prince Gray, found out about Higgs plan and were there to confront them. Gray said that a war was brewing and they had six months to repair. That night, our three boys each had their own dream sequence in which chaos appeared to them to show them their possible futures. I think that brings us up to date. After everything unfolded in Higelmiss's office, you attempted to push the issue, you wanted to talk to him about it, but he waved you off.

He needed to care for his brother, and it was far too late in the evening to get into it. He promised you that he would explain everything that he would talk to you later, but he needed time. So you headed back to your dorms and eventually fell asleep. You woke the next morning from a strange night of dreaming, and the three of you made your way wordlessly to the dining hall. After loading your plates with breakfasts, you sit down at the table, just the three of you, for a quiet moment alone. I had a pretty rowdy, non-erotic dream last night,

and I don't know how you've done. too-too fared. I heard some mumbling and some grumbling. So I'm just wondering if we were visited by three spirits getting us to change our ways around the holiday times or what's up. I believe chaos was trying to lead me us three.

I had a very similar experience with chaos. Want me to kill a bunch of people. Whoa. Yeah, I know. It was very disturbing. But I looked good. It was like 10, 12 years in the future.

And I had a beard and a scar. Oh. Yeah. And I had a boat. It was, it was, okay, a lot of it was awesome. A lot of it was pretty damn awesome. Yeah, no, mine was too. I said non-erotic, but I will say I spent most of it topless, and my sort of rigid, muscular frame was a sight to behold.

And I know that's a strange thing to say about your own future self, but it was not bad. So yours was in the future, too? Yes, it was a, I assume now we all had visions of the future with sort of, there was a lot of lusciousness in mind, a lot of success. and a lot of success. But then I did have to blow up a man. So, like, there was also some, yes, there was also a little trade-off in mind. So I'm glad you all have gotten in no chaos. A real sting for that one.

Ferbo was yours lush? Did you have a lush one? I went home. Oh, that was good, right? That sounds good, I guess, yeah, for a lot of folks. And they were nice to you? It was just a dream. Okay.

Yeah, I mean, it was a spooky dream that the three of us all kind of shared, I think. So it was a very special kind of dream, but I find myself somewhat unsuaved by Chaos's plight because I just, I'm getting big bad guy vibes off that one. Yeah, right? Okay, so who is this chaos person? They happen to have said something along the lines of that they should have, you know, been brought up in conversation by you before that? Sure. They're somewhat, I mean, it says what it says right there on the tin, right?

They're the sort of embodiment of chaos, or I suppose a lack of order and sort of the implications of that on the world. And they're like sort of like all about that. And also the powers that I have are, they can be somewhat uncontrollable. And so I guess they're the source of that. They're also the source of gray's powers. And I don't know, I got the impression that, like, we had a sort of secret arrangement, me and chaos. But now that I think about it, that's silly. Yeah.

I'm, I'm fueled by chaos, I guess. And they really want me to just go hog wild with it. So that's where I'm at. They seem to suggest that if I do go hog wild, we could beat gray, and then the future that we all foresaw would be cool and what would happen. And, I mean, it's not the worst offer, but it's literally a devil's bargain, it seems like. We are not taking them up on the dieation. I mean, we're up against a demonic sort of force of nature, so like maybe let's not. just burn any bridges, you know what I'm saying?

Keep your options open. I, you know, my dream was really pretty cool. I mean, there was a lot I really, really liked about it, but I don't know if I like being put in a position to have to kill a bunch of people. That, I don't know. I mean, that's a pretty good baseline for any moral compass, I would say, Argo. Well, I'm growing. I'm growing as a person. You sure are. I think we need a game plan, and I do not think banking on my unruly powers

is a great sort of like foundation for that plan. So maybe let's diversify our power portfolio a little bit. Well, I've been given it some thought. I think we need to build up our corporation. I think we need to maybe do some recruiting. I've got some people that kind of a secret society. And I guess me telling you this makes it not quite so secret, or at least I'm just not very good at being a member of a secret society.

But I might be willing to see if I can talk to them and see if I can. see if I can get them over on our side is to combat gray. I mean, recruiting into our organization is one way of saying building an army, which is probably what we're actually going to need to do. Yeah, I was trying to be clever. Okay, yeah, let's, yeah, I mean, I think we all need to sort of lean on our connections, our sort of social links, if you will, and put together a winning team. I do think maybe our first step should be talking to the two people that we know have faced off against Gray and knows what they're capable of.

And that would be Hieronymus and Higgleness. I would love to get Hieronymus's take on this since he'll be now able to add more than bark, bark, wolf, woof, and sniff his butt. So that's cool. I think maybe we start there. I too would like to speak to them. Let's go. Let's go. see if they're taking office hours.

As you raise up from your seats, you are momentarily interrupted in this action. As you see, Hieronymus take the stage to make the school announcements. And he throws you a grin and winks, and you get the very distinct impression. Well, how about everybody roll an insult. It's fucking, it's the gray. No, fuck off. That's gray. And phoeronomist says, Ah, good morning, everyone. Just a couple quick announcements.

One, welcome back to everyone who went out on their real world assignments. And also, oh, we're so excited about this, everyone. It's been in the works for a while, and we were finally able to make the timing work. We have a special guest lecturer for this semester, joining us now. Now, please, welcome. I don't know what it says about the time I spit with my family. I can't tell who made that noise. I have made a loud fart noise during the announcements.

This guy's wild. This guy's so wild. What won't he do? Consider yourself. prank. As I was He just done it again. You are incorrigible.

Incorrigible. I am the bad boy now. I will continue to thwart the dean. And you see Phoronamus snaps his fingers and I want you to make

a wisdom-saving threat. A seven plus Probably doesn't matter, but it's four. You feel yourself going to make another fart noise And suddenly you are unable to speak You are unable to generate noise The deepest violence Robbing someone of their ability

To make hilarious fart I'll take the torch from here, partner You must use them Shut up, I got it. I'll do it. Try your armpit. Try blowing into your armpit. We're sorry. Go ahead with your announcement.

Like that. As I was saying, we have a special guest lecturer this semester, joining us one of the most renowned heroes in all of Nua. Please put your hands together and welcome the Commodore. And you see the Commodore, take the stage in his full military regalia, carrying himself proudly, chest lead, walking with a swagger, with a grin that just is perhaps the most shit-eating grin you've ever seen in your life. And he's doing little polite waves as he takes the stage.

Who is the Commodore? Let's remind our listeners who the Commodore is. Why don't you remind the listeners who the Commodore is, Dad? The Commodore is one of the great naval heroes of this world. Think like John Paul Jones. Ah, yes. Ah, yes. Or Admiral Nimitz? Maybe.

Captain Crunch. Captain Crunch, Popeye, the Sailor Man. Okay. He's like the biggest military hero of the seas. And he's also the man that Argo blames for the death of his mother. because he betrayed her. He's a real... I'm trying not to oversell it.

He's a real creed. He's a real, a real piece of crap. Poopy pants. He's a poopie pants. Give me a perception check, Argo. Shit, three. You do not know at this point if you have been spotted or registered. He has not seen you for quite some time.

I would say if he remembers you at all, it is still as like a little boy, as like eight years old. That said, Janossis are not super common. And so there is always a chance that perhaps he has clocked you. Well, Argo has grown a mustache. He's growing that great handlebar mustache. There is that. I mean, yeah, listen, that can't be denied.

And that is the go-to disguise facial hair. Because when you were eight, you just had the go-te. and now you've switched, you've inverted it. Yeah, and he's wearing his hair different too. Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah, it's kind of a swept back thing and feathered at the sides. So now he is just kind of sitting up there on stage next to Hieronymus and the two of them are talking. But he doesn't seem to have registered you at all.

This doesn't seem to have any direct impact on your action at this moment, but it is definitely a new wrinkle. Hmm, I mean, we're going to have. to address that eventually, yes? I mean, unless you're just going to kind of fucking creep all around, I imagine you will be bumped into by this fool. Oh, well, listen, he, I don't, I don't think he knows that I hate his guts. I don't think he knows that I want to, to kill him. I mean, that, that, listen, this whole thing that's cool, I've been trying to angle it so

that I could become like a sidekick to him. to him. That's why I went to this school in the first place, because I was going to work my way into his trust. And then, you know, when he wasn't paying attention, you know, backstab him like any credible rogue would do. Right. So I don't know if I have to worry about him. I mean, I'm sure if he came right up against me and recognized me, he'd see me as shabby's little boy. but I don't think he knows I want to kill him. Well, I do just want to say

their Count of Monte Cristo that your revenge plot was enough for me to pick up on and I am a grade A dunce. So I would not sell him too short. That's a cold blast of water in my face. Thanks. Let's just lay low

and do your best. I'll twirl my mustache. I'll twirl the mustache. That'll really enhance the effect. Good. Yeah. Our morning announcement's done. Correct.

Okay. I think, I think, how long has this been after the confrontation with Gray? Is this the next day? This is the next morning, yes. All right. Let's go, let's go, let's go talk to, here's what's weird. Gray, just like being here means we have to operate with like a constant level of discretion that I do not think the three of us, either our characters

or us as actually humans are capable of maintaining. So Well, you know what? I believe in you, Griffin. I have to go to the bathroom. I stand up and start to walk to Higelmiss's office. I have to go to make sure he washes his hands afterwards. I am following them.

You make your way out of the room. I love the furbow. Yeah. Everyone does. You make your way out of the room and head towards Higgumus' office. You arrive there, no one stops you. You're just making your way across campus in the middle of the day. It's a perfectly normal behavior, really. You arrive, you see cool Gary.

It kind of waves at you. He has a lip piercing. He has a lip piercing and a septim piercing, and he's got an industrial. He's a really cool Gary, you guys. How do you pierce a Gary? Man. So you make your way into the annex and you make a way up to Higgelmiss's office. And I would say this being your third time as a group kind of approaching the office,

this is definitely the most confident you have been walking up to this fool's door. I mean, I'm still looking for traps. You don't know. That's the problem with these magic sigil traps. You fucking forget where you place one of them and it's kaboomskis. You know what I mean? Like, you're just walking your dog one day and you're like, oh, shit, I did place a magic sigil trap there.

And then you're gone. Well, as you attempt to detect magic, your skin has no glow. I mean, aside from its natural glow, you know. Sure. A little bit. Maybe you do, like, a dusting of glitter from time to time. But, like, I spray tan. Yeah, I spray tan.

Oh, you do. Oh, for sure, for sure. What about me? What about Fitzroy makes you think he doesn't spray tan? That's fair. And I bet it's magical as shit, too. Yeah, it's good. It's good stuff. So you make your way to the door, you have since no magic.

Come in. I thought we had a whole system. Okay. Yeah, come in. You open the door. You enter you find the much younger Higgumus caring for his brother, who is currently resting on Higelmuss's overstuffed, a very worn couch. I thought you were going to say dogbed. Dogbed, no. I thought that would be funny. Like, what if I came up and I was like, here, have some kibble. That would be so rude. I would never.

So I shouldn't scratch him behind the ears. That would be... I mean, not without consent. Right, of course. I mean, but to be fair, shouldn't do that to a dog. You don't know either. Come on, folks. Got to ask.

You don't know. How's everyone feeling? Oh, please. He's resting. I know I owe you an explanation and an apology. I'm not sure where to start, honestly. Well, how about you start with what parts of the story of your brother getting turned into a dog by the bad guy was a lie? Almost none of it.

He was cursed, and I turned him into a dog. so that he could survive, the backlash aged me rapidly. All of that is true. The one difference was I could have turned him back at basically any point, but I was so afraid of losing my brother again that I couldn't I wouldn't do it until I knew I could hide him from gray. And that's why I needed your help. I needed your help with being able to conceal him from gray. And it was to protect him.

I swear, I didn't use. to consider myself a coward, but I know I am now. I was only brave in reflection of my brother, and without him, I did not know what to do. And I am sorry that I used you, and I'm sorry that I lied to you, but I just couldn't risk losing my brother again. Was that the end of your plan? Get your brother back and yay? And just hide out and try to ride the storm out. You are hoping he has a plan.

Yes. I don't. I'm not a hero. I understand. Idolizing the oldest brother is very common. Seeing them as godlike, infallible, sexual superiors. This is a common trait. Damn it.

I can't even deny that that's what's happening. If memory serves, he needed the, at the end of that episode was kind of a blur. He needed the apple not to turn his brother back, but to create a, what, potion or spell or something to hide away? Correct. Okay, cool.

Yeah, I mean, you beefed it. You screwed up, but that's in the past. And now let's look onward to the future. And that's not what you have done to wrong us, but what you can do to help us build a righteous, badass army to kill a demon king. Uh, I don't, right now, I'm still trying to get my brother back on his feet so he can tell me what to do. Well, he can, he doesn't have to get on his feet. He can lay there on the dog bed and give us ideas. he doesn't remember much of his life before.

I'm still working on that. Think of it like I'm doing work on his brain to rebuild it, and it will take time. Okay. See, I almost said brain surgery, but I don't think that exists in this world. Well, me magical brain surgery. Think of it like magical brain surgery.

Sure, sure. How much time do we have again? What did he say? Six months. Okay. All right. So we got six months to start whipping something up. I don't know about you all.

I don't feel like sitting around waiting while you do fantasy brain surgery. So I think we need to get the wheels of spinning and start building up the ranks, juicing our power levels, if you will. And, yeah, any tips you got on that front you've faced off against Gray before, anything you can tell us, would be pretty helpful and good. And also, the first helpful and good thing you have done for us ever. Ooh, burn! Not a burn, a literal observation. Gray is clever.

and he will oftentimes strike from a direction that you wouldn't expect, but he has a temper, and if you can get him worked up, he is very off-kilter. He will make mistakes. That's how we've been able to beat him before. He is more powerful than any mortal I know, even hero. but when angry he is vulnerable. And I should also warn you,

as you attempt to find help, he was able to make it past my wards because he had mortal assistance. They were masked, disguised, so I don't know who, but someone at this school helped him get through my wards. and pass the doors. And even then, they shouldn't have been able to make it through.

They had some kind of Aegis that allowed them. Only my brother or I should be able to make it through the wards without someone lowering them. And they were able to make it through. Like I said, he's clever. So be careful who you approach. And so we got spies on the inside. Fantastic news. That's for sure not going to make us a,

big paranoid mess. What of his other forces? We did square off against, I would say, some pretty bad boys back in town. And it seemed like there was infinite of them. So of the, what do you know of the demon army? Gray is a demon prince.

He, one of the hell dimensions is his. Say that again? One of the hell dimensions is his. That sucks. guys. That seems like a... It sounds so bad.

It sounds so bad. Really bad. To contrast, he runs a hell dimension and we share a toilet. Okay. I know that this won't help much,

but it is one of the smaller dimensions. That's why he's always thinking... Oh, good. And why did you not say so? This is much... well, not better. It's worse. And we have a bit rather large toilet, so, you know, there's some balance there.

It is a nice toilet that I have in. I do not use. You do not avail yourself of this particular indoor toilet. Um, okay. So what, a smaller hell dimension. What are you, what are you talking? What do you think like a hundred of these big pit demons or? Is it a fixer upper?

Two, two hundred? I've never been there. I couldn't tell you what his forces are, but if he's been amassing them for the last 50 years, chances are he has been gathering as many troops as he can. Could we get there if we wanted to do a little reconnaissance? Everything in my limited powers makes me think that his connection to his dimension and to this world, has to do with the God's sarcasm.

So I would look there. Okay. I mean, I don't know about you all. I feel a plan of brewing, and it's not a good one. Mm-mm. But something's cooking in the kitchen. What are you thinking?

I mean, we have six months. That's enough for us to have a sort of multi-layered approach with many prongs. I think we scout the hell dimension. I have been more. wanting to make a field trip to the gods carcasm for quite some time, because that's apparently where I get my special sauce from. So that seems good. We need to get, you know, as many fighters as we can on our side for the confrontation. We need to, yeah, right? Like, are you all

picking up what I'm putting down? I don't think this is going to be a, we find the magic sword and then plunge it into gray's chest and then we win. Wait, wait, is there? Is there a magic sword? Is there a magic? Oh my God, yeah. Is there a magic sword? Let's not assume. No.

I mean, there are lots of magic sword. You have a magic sword, Argo. It's strapped to your hip right now. If you're asking if there is a magical sword specifically known for killing gray, not that we've found. What about a gun? A magic gun?

Um, once again, if I had knowledge of a magic gun, that would kill Gray, I'd have it. I'm going to feel silly after I asked this, but what about a big magic piano that we can like drop on him? Oh, that'd be so funny. And then when he smiles,

the keys would be in his mouth. Yes, it's a big smile. I love that gag. Or a safe and then we drop it on him and then you open the door and he's inside, but he's got like stars going around his head. But he dies also. We have, in the last couple centuries,

killed Gray many times. Oh, how? This is wicked useful information. You realize this, yes? Like, we were asking, like, what Gray could do? Like, you could have told us he cannot be killed? It's never, it's, he's not, not killed, killed. He has a form here in this dimension.

Right. And we can kill that form and send him back to his dimension. But he always comes back. Okay. So we got to kill him in hell. That's very handy to know. Thank you. Cut off the highway to hell dimension.

Sure. I don't know what that's going to mean for me. Probably nothing good. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I feel like I'm ready to start pounding the pavement. Higgelmiss, before we get moving, I do want to say one thing. And you know that I'm not your biggest fan

and have been suspicion of your actions and was totally right. And that's good. That trophy's going to stay in the old case for a while now. Called it and that was totally great. I know you've had a tough time. And although you have sort of engaged in a dereliction of duties as an administrator of this school,

that shall go down in history, I do not completely hold it against you. As you know, Gray did destroy the apple that we did fetch for you, thus making your escape and your cowardly retreat impossible. Well, and I reach into my bag and I pull up the second apple that we acquired, and I hand it to him. And I say, if you're going to be half in on this thing, by thing I mean war against the demon prince, we don't necessarily, I don't necessarily want you here. I think you're probably going to do much more harm than good.

So if you're going to spend the whole of our war preparation effort looking for a way out, here it is. This is the way out. Get going now so that we know we don't have you. But if you and your brother actually do want to do something useful for this school and this world, we'll see you around, I guess. and he looks at you for a moment and looks back at his brother and then looks back to you

and says Hero would help you so I'm in oh thank God oh man that would have been so bad if you all had dipped because like we have our beef but I don't know what we do if we don't know

We don't know anything. Also, pro tip, don't eat that apple. It is mealy as heck. I can use this to help. I give me a little bit of time to rework the formula. And I think I can make you a potion that would protect you from Gray's detection. Hmm. Do you think you could brew me a potion that would shrink me down eight inches so all my clothes would fit again?

Okay, so you are taller? Oh my gosh, much taller, yes. Okay, I couldn't remember if it was, you know, my change gave me a different perspective or what, but... No, my pants are very short on me like I'm a little sailor boy, and that's not just sort of an aesthetic decision on my part. There is one other thing. I have a reconnaissance team that I think might be able to help. They're not well skilled, but I have some cats that are good at getting into places. Your cats.

Wait a freaking moment. Are you telling us the invisible space cat that keeps kicking it in our dorm room is one of your, one of your, your little sparrows listening in? Oh, they go where they put, I didn't send it to you. They are just around. I was testing out a new spell on some of the feral cats around the grounds.

Nothing dangerous. And I found that I could create traveling cats. Well, all cats could travel, you dingus. Oh, interdimensional. that's that now that is new that's a great band name too interdimensional traveling cats maybe just have them keep a couple of their furry pointed ears out to see if they can suss out who the evil bad spy is oh uh yes of course so review in the minutes action points for you are you're going to heal your brother so we can ply his brain for wisdom on How to Defeat Gray, you're going to brew up a special magic apple potion that will serve as like a bulletproof vest for us, fantasy bulletproof vests. More like camouflage.

Just to be clear, I can't protect you from danger from gray. Oh, got you. You've made that so explicitly clear with your every word and action since the moment we met. And your third assignment is to dispatch cats. spy cats to send out spy cats. So those are your three action points, right? And one more point of clarification. I don't control the cats.

Have you ever tried to control cats? That doesn't happen. They just, they sometimes come back to me, and I've gotten pretty good at communicating with animals nonverbally. And so I can suss it out. I have ways of communicating with animals, and I, I control. try to gather information from them.

Okay. Check, check and check. Those are your three action points, right? Yes. Everybody roll an insight check for me. Gladly. 17 minus 1, 16. 4 plus 0, 4.

5 plus 4. 9. Argo, you see that with this like clear plan and an instruct. that have been given him, but more than that, a level of trust and responsibility, he's standing a little taller and he seems a little more present. And you get the impression that this is a position he is way more comfortable in than being the one who makes the plan. Middle management. He's a middle management guy.

Okay. I mean, are we the teacher? now. Well, we're definitely the corporate heads. Sure. Well, you are. Okay, don't forget that. And break.

So where to, fellas? I have an idea. I feel like what I'm interested in is kind of like loose end mode a little bit. I feel like we, I feel like in all of the, um, the hubbub and excitement, there are like a couple, like, things that we started doing, or that at least that I started doing that we started doing that we, we didn't sort of see through to the end. Okay. So I personally would love to finish up my little home act project of the mind control apparatus, although I think it's going to sort of be a different form now, the one I was working

with the artificer who, whose name I cannot remember. Crab tree. That's it. Crab tree. Yeah. I'd like to dip in there, but that doesn't have to go first. That's just what I, that before I do anything else, I feel like squaring that away, like, I'm not going to be able to sleep at night.

Also, I went through all this trouble to get this fucking permission slip signed. I want to pay off for that, damn it. Okay, so what about you guys? Because I'd like you all to stick together as much as possible for this, you know what I mean? So Griffin wants to check in on the artificing project with Crabtree. What about you, Argo and Fierbold? Um, I, I, well, I, I mean, I think Arga would probably like to check in with the unbroken chain.

I mean, that's, you talk about, that was kind of a dangling plot line or dangling loose end for him. And especially if he wants to try to recruit the unbroken chain to their cause. Cool. What about you, Fearbug? I think I will go. To the library. Ah, with the power of books. Nerd alert.

Okay, so let's do artificing first. So the three of you make your way down to the basement of the main building where it's located the forge and the artificeing chamber. You make your way in there, you see a crab tree working your way,

carving some sigils and runes into a metal plate. You would guess, some sort of armor, and she looks up at you, and she says, oh, hey, welcome back. Were you able to get that permission slip signed? Can we get to work on your, what was it, a headband? Oh, it's going to be a different thing now. We sort of squared that whole thing away.

But yeah, I do have a sort of blank check permission slip here for whatever stuff we need. And I know I say that, and it probably sounds very, very suspect. But, yeah, it's on. put it on Higgleness's tab, he said. She strokes her gray beard for a second, and then she takes the permission slip from you, holds it up to the light of the fire. And as she does, there is a watermark across it, and the ink glows for a second. And she goes, yeah, that's legit.

All right. Well, is this the kind of thing where you want me to, like, show you how to do it? So, you know, teach a man to artifice kind of thing. And she smiles. And this is like apparently a joke she has made many times. Oh, that old chestnut. Love it, love it, love it. You know, because it's like teach a man to fish, but it's art of fish, right?

Yeah. Oh, I didn't hear it. The art of fishing. Okay. Teach a man the art of fish. Sorry, I said it wrong. Teach a man the art of fishing. I'm going to pass out.

I'm going to pass out. Yeah, I mean, that would be helpful. You know, if we could get a sort of mass production going. But headbands are so last season. And this season, the whole world's going wild for a new look that just debuted at the Fantasy Met Gala. And so I need you to teach me how to make and I take off my glasses. I say, some of these. Glasses?

Yeah, not prescription. well, magically prescriptive. What kind of enchantment you're looking for? What are they going to do? Protection? Well, you know, I was looking for something to protect against mind control, but now I'm sort of thinking a bit more big picture, a bit more broader, rather than sort of mind control,

like mind suggestion, just being able to kind of see through that. to put it in game terms, I'm hoping to artifice the... I mean, what we had talked about in talking about artifacing is like putting a spell inside a thing. And there's a spell called true seeing. Here's where I'm at.

I don't know that it makes sense for us to do much of anything until we are able to sort of crack the case of Gray has somehow convinced the entire world that the God's carcasm has been there forever. and that power of like, you know, mass hypnosis, it seems like it's going to be pretty tough to whip. Oh, gotcha, gotcha, got you.

So you want to make something that you can put on somebody else so that they will see through things? I mean, I don't know if that's the only thing my man has like, or, yeah, I don't know that that's the only thing that he has, like, sort of, like, bamboozled us all. So I would love to make some glasses of true seeing, I guess. the spell gives a willing creature you touch the ability to see things as they actually

are for the duration the creature has true sight notices secret doors hidden by magic and can see into the ethereal plane all out to a range of 120 feet okay um does that sound does that I don't want to like pitch something that's going to break the game does that sound like something that is I think that is probably something where we can do

like a charge of it since it is like a permanent fixture in the glasses that we do like a one-time charge you know and not something it's like wear these glasses and you can and see through everything for all time ever. Sure. So it would have to be like, you know, a 60 second charge that you could, you know, use maybe once a day or twice a day or something.

Okay. Yeah, that sounds good to me. That sounds fair. So Crabtree was kind of stroking her beard and she says like, well, huh. Yeah, I think I could handle the lenses part. I could definitely show you how to do that, but to have frames strong enough to hold it. I'm going to have to get Mosh's feedback. And she grabs kind of a, you know, speaking, listening horn device from the wall and says,

Mosh, get your ass in here. And Mosh, who you recognize Argo as a member of the Unbroken Chain, but is also the blacksmith and the blacksmith professional. comes in and says, yes, Crabtree, what is it? And Crabtree says, now, don't take that tone with me, Mosh. I'm working on a project, and I need your feedback. I was working on a project to Crabtree, and then Crabtree says, well, okay, calm down, no need to fight in front of the boys. So I'm trying to make glasses of true seeing. Fashionable, preferably like fashionable brow line glasses. That's kind of my look. Do you have a preferred shape for the frame and the lens?

I mean, a browline frame, I guess, a boxier than the current spectacles I'm wearing. The lens, I'm not imagining any sort of tint. Actually, transition lenses. I don't know if you all can do that. They're so stylish and they look very good on everyone. Yeah, we can do that. Okay. And Mosh says, oh, yeah, you would have to have frames with the charge built-in to the frame. Well, a brow line, a brow line, you know, gives you lots of room to etch there on the brow. So.

And the two of them begin sketching. And they begin drawing out plans and you hear them, their tones shift from bickering to collaborative very quickly. And they get into a groove of it and their voices lower as they're talking. You're not able to keep up with every step. But after about five to ten minutes, they kind of break their huddle. And Mosh says,

okay, there you go. Please don't bother me again for the rest of the day. I have to finish what I'm working on. It's going to be really cool. And he leaves. And as he leaves, Cratry says,

don't bother me for the rest of the day. It's going to be really cool. Get him. Got him. Good. All right. I've got the plans here. And she kind of, you know,

gestures for you to lean over. And is showing you the different instructions. She says, Now, I never made anything like this before, so I'll tell you what. Give me the rest of the day, and I'll see if I can work up kind of a prototype before you and I, like, kind of get into it. Okay. So check back in with me maybe tomorrow, day after tomorrow, and I should have something

ready for you. Sounds good. Loving it. Check. I'm going to check the first thing off the big list, y'all. You can't see the list, Crabtree. It's a secret list. So stop asking.

Okay. It's the demon war list Sorry, I couldn't hear you Over the fire Because I wasn't whispering to you Oh, okay So that's one checkmark done So let's head to the library next

Books, check them out Read about stars and cars and electric guitars Books, check them out Heavyweight champ It's craziest about books Check them out Check them out At your library

Hey remember when they decided to use California raisins To promote literacy Remember when California raisins were invented to promote raisins And then people were like I can't I'm already buying all the raisins there are And I still can't get enough these fucking raisins There's got to be more that these people can tell us There's got any more that we could use them for

Do you remember when we dressed you guys in garbage bags And you dressed up for Halloween as the California raisins? Classic. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, that was a classic. Do you remember when Hardy slash Carl's Jr. paired with California raisins to sell cinnamon raisin rolls And you could get old.

It's still make them. And this is the end of the episode? This is how the episode ends. It's just a slow fade. Supranos, don't stop. Okay, we've reached the library. It is, you know, early morning, most people are in class. You guys are probably playing hooky, if we're being honest.

But who cares so much about attendance when you're trying to stop a demon prince from taking over your world? You head into the library. It's fairly empty. So what is, what's your goal here, Fearbug? Where's the librarian? You're looking for Sabor, the Torto. Sabor. Sabor, the Torto is over, you see him stocking the non-fiction shelves, returning books back to their appropriate place.

Hello, Saber. Oh, Master Fearbug. How are you? I am well, and yourself? Very well, thank you. Well, I have a lot on my mind. Okay. Every one of my friends is talking to their friends about a project.

And I think on this, you and cool Gary are my best friends at this school. Oh I cannot talk to cool, Gary Cool though he may be He talks to Many others Uh Well

I'm flattered Master Fearbulk How can I help you To You like Hieronymus? The head of the school? Yes.

I respect him very much. He hired me over a hundred years ago, and I've never had much issue with him. I don't see him much. He hasn't made his way down to the library in some time. What? Did you notice he becoming different? Maybe 50 years ago.

These questions sound crazy to ask. Hmm. Now that you mention it, he did become more involved in recruiting and bringing in new students 50 years ago thereabouts. Turtle, can I trust you? That is a tricky question, Master Fearbol, because my answer is dependent on whether you trust me or not. I will of course say yes you can

But it is up to you to decide Whether I am being honest It is too early for the logic puzzles Feel like I need a chart I want to roll It's called an insight check Go for it To see

Well I drop it ding ding ding Dang, dang it. Can we watch our language, please? 16 plus 4. You get the sense that this total is on the level. He has done nothing to indicate otherwise

you're feeling real good about your relationship with Sabor. Could I help you real quick? I didn't realize you guys were here. I'm playing with a fucking like ball and hoop, a stick and hoop because that was the slowest, most boring fucking

conversation I have ever heard. You all talk, it's like the slots in Zootopia. I'm fucking asleep over here. Let me just talk, let me just talk to the guy for one more second. I'll speed up a little bit. Sabor. Yes. The Hieronymus that you know is not the real heronimus.

The Godscar chasm is Invinist. and the being calling itself Hieronymus wants only to bring chaos and destruction to this school. He is well connected, he is powerful, and the only hope, hope of stopping him lies with the three of us. Now, you have a library full of books. In one of them, you must be able to read that they fear Borg can not.

And Sabor nods slowly. and you see him look over at Argo for a second and kind of, you know, tilt his head inquisitively at Argo. Argo raises his hand like he's scratching his head, and when he does the sleeve of his jerkin, um, slides down revealing his unbroken chain tattoo. And Sabor turns back to you, Fearbolg, and says, I will begin my research and walks away from his cart and heads towards his office. Oh, Saber, yes. Congratulations on your promotion to secondary character.