The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Graduation Ep. 22: Open and Shut

Episode Date: August 20, 2020

The Thundermen have been brought before an Unbroken Chain tribunal. They need to prove that they are worthy of membership or they will lose the chance to win the group's help in the upcoming war. Winning them over might be tricky, especially since the head of the tribunal is Argo's nemesis!You know what they say: If at first you don't succeed, try tribunal again!  Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Hey, it's me Gary. Previously on the Adventure's own graduation, the Thundermen are preparing for war. They attempted to get the clandestined group, the Unbroken Chain, on their side, but they've hit a bit of a speed bump. See, the Unbroken Chain didn't like Argo sharing their secrets with non-members. Now Argo, Fitzroy, and the Fearbok have been called to a tribunal for judgment. If they're judged as being unworthy of membership, their minds are going to be wiped of all memories of the unbroken chain. Ago and the Fear Bowl were knocked unconscious, but Fitzroy was able to stay frosty and see what was happening.

The boys were in for a rude awakening because sitting in judgment is Ago's mortal enemy, the Commodore. All right, so just to remind everybody, including the players, because it has been a grip of time. since we were recorded. I remember all of it. Would you like me to... Yeah, you know what, Justin, do it. So at this time, in the last episode, in an effort to try to win over the secret organization,

the Unbroken Chain, to win them over to their side, he let it slip, Argo let it slip about the group to the Fearbol and Fitzroy, about the group's existence. And then he went to the... unbroken chain to talk to them about helping with the the whole thing with Hieronymus and everything and in the course of that he admitted that he had told those two told the Fitzroy and the fear bulb about the group this enraged the jackal

and told him that enraged is probably a bit strong word he was not happy about it he was peoed he organized a tribunal to see if they could join up or if they They were going to have their memories wiped. When they got to the, they were, they were stolen in secret away from the tribunal. Everyone except Fitzroy was unconscious. And when they awoke, they found the school's nurse was among the unbroken chain, but also more importantly, a senior member of the group, the Commodore. And he said he was about to start the proceedings.

That's where we left off. Very good. It should also be noted that Commodore, One might describe him as Argo's immortal enemy. Yeah, that's worth noting. Fitzroy, because you were able to fend off the drugs and able to maintain consciousness, you can identify, you know, who all is present. Now, Fearbug and Argo, you cannot because they are hooded and behind you,

but they were not aware of your state of awareness. Nah, that's a terrible way to say that. They didn't know you were awake, Fitzroy. And so, you know, the Commodore, Mosh, and Marie, the blacksmith and Marie, the school nurse, they are sitting at the tribunal. They are the three in front of you that you all know. But also present behind you are Jackal, Sabor,

the Torto librarian, Dakota, social teacher, the drinking teacher. And Ramos, the shield work teacher. Okay. So there's a council of seven then. Did you mention Crabtree? Oh, and of course, yes, thank you. Crab Tree. Council of Eight, yes.

Crab Tree, the artifice teacher, artificing teacher. Okay. And so the Commodore settles himself into his chair and says, yeah, so this shouldn't take very long. Just what? We should be in and out and say five minutes, pretty open and shit. Objection. Seconded. This is not thirded.

Okay. Not only is this not a court of. law. It's also not a board meeting. We don't need things to be second. We don't vote on things, especially you don't. But before we begin, I guess I should say, any questions, any confusion, anything we need cleared up before we get on with it. Sure. If it's not a trial, then what is it? How does this work? It's a tribunal, right? We're going to ask you some questions. some other people will speak and then we'll decide what to do. Okay.

So that's the, that's the boiled down version. Did you get that? Was that clear? I got, I got it, boss. I just, because you say it's not a trial, but it kind of sounds like one. Well, a trial usually has like a jury and it's about laws and stuff. Sounds like you. You're splitting hairs.

Yeah, there is a sort of jury-like thing. Do we get to call witnesses? Or it's literally, because this, can I be honest, sounds more like a quiz. We get to call witnesses. This doesn't feel super fair if I'm being like perfectly honest. That is why I specify the difference between tribunal and a trial, because a trial is about justice. And this is about our decision, you see. Sure.

Okay. Sure. Let's get it started and we'll play at a disadvantage. Permission to approach the bench? Denied. Permission to treat the tribunal as hostile. Okay, we're going to move on. You know what, Mosh?

This is your chapter. This is your HQ. Please feel free to proceed and I will sit as the head of the tribunal. And you see Mosh? the Goliath blacksmith stand and say, uh, yes. Um, now we, we do, uh, first have some questions.

Um, let's, we can start off generally. Why don't, uh, the three of you introduce yourself, uh, and, and, and tell us things about yourself that you think we would need to know. Um, uh, Argo, as more or less a current member, why don't we begin with you? Well, okay. You invited me in to join this group, and it was a great honor, especially when I found out the connection that my mom had as a,

I guess I was a legacy, so to speak. And when you told me all the things that you stood for, it just sounded like something that I could really get behind. And so I joined your group freely. I sincerely took on the charge that you gave. I honestly embraced what you stood for because you said that this group takes responsibility. When they think somebody needs help, that something needs to be done or that somebody needs stopping.

And the first mission you gave me, you gave me a mission to prove myself, to show I was worthy. And you asked me to find out all I could about the source of Fitzroy's magic. Well, okay, here you go. Mission accomplished. Here he is. Right here. Hey. And I feel like I've done what you asked me to do.

and it's just that the circumstances have kind of changed a little bit. I see. Okay. Well, Fitzroy, since you have already been introduced and we are aware of you here, how about you go now? I mean, you'll know what I'm all about. I have outrageous magical powers, a righteous tuesday. I'm a student of some of yours doing okay. in the classes, Sabor, don't hit the books as hard as I probably should.

So we're like new friends. When you name somebody who is not visible to you, you hear a bit of a murmur and everybody grows a little bit tense. Oh, sorry. Should I, this is, I want us to all be on equal footing. And right now I feel like we are at the disadvantage. So, you know, jackal, Sabre, Dakota, Ramos Crabtree, you all can just go ahead and sort of plop on out.

Like, let's put all the cards on the table. If we're going to do a thing about us knowing too much information, the true extent of how completely bad you are at this needs to be outed. So, yeah, anyway, I am a superpowered, super cool sort of night in training and trying to put together a war effort to stop someone who is bad, who some of, we don't know who's working for them. So that's all I'm going to say about that. Nice try.

And, yeah, I think that's it. Well, since it seems that our efforts to maintain anonymity were not successful, Sabor has already informed us of what the Fearbulg told him this afternoon about the threat of the oncoming war and the research that needed to be done. So we are aware of that Master Fearbolg if you would introduce yourself to the tribunal. I am here. that that's all you have you you're not going to attempt to justify yourself or endear yourself hmm uh no okay i am uh fairbog i um am trying to join a secret organization which would present some challenges.

I am done with my statement. And Jackal steps forward. And Jackal says, excuse me, if I might offer a suggestion and the Commodore starts to speak and Mosh quickly says, Now, normally, this is highly irregular. We would not take suggestions from anyone not on the tribunal questions,

but this is clearly an unusual scenario. So, Jackal, please, you are very familiar with Argo. We would welcome your input. And the Jackal says, as we are determining the worthiness of all three, instead of just an individual and the three of them who've worked together. Perhaps it might benefit us to let them speak about each other. And you hear murmur of assent. And Moss says perhaps it would be a more objective take on things

if we were to get your opinions about each other. So let's begin. Argonaut, why don't you tell us about Master Fearbug? I honestly think he's not only the most honest person in the world. I think he goes even beyond that. I think he personifies honesty. I think sometimes to his detriment. sometimes, you know, to our detriment.

But you can't get past the point that he hates any kind of, any kind of subterfuge. He hates anything that's a lie. This isn't really helping. So this is the pitch for why I should be allowed into the secret organization. I can't tell lies and I'm honest to a fault. Well, I mean, I'm a, okay, I'm a rogue. You can lie. You realize that.

Yeah. And look how bad I am. Keep it secret. I just think that if he is the kind of person that you need if you're going to take on these big challenges like this organization is supposed to take on. For somebody who needs help, somebody needs something needs doing or somebody needs stopping. You need somebody here whose word you completely and totally trust. Doesn't mean you're always going. to hear what you want to hear. But when Furbulk is involved in the process, it forces everybody

to be better and to think about other people and to make decisions based on that honesty. And he's just a good dude. He's just a good dude. I can't imagine any kind of organization not wanting somebody there who is the touchstone for honesty. If, if, if, if, if, if, If you don't want him, if you're worried about him spilling the beans, then, then, you know, don't put him in situations where he's going to tell anybody. He has become very good at avoiding the truth. Because if he doesn't want to talk about it, he doesn't. So, yeah, he's, okay, let me back up a little bit. I think we've heard enough.

Argonaut, thank you. All right. Okay. Argonaut, I want you real quick to make a persuasion check. I almost forgot to include Dungeons and Dragons in here. 14 plus two, that's a 16. You hear murmurs of, um, um, um, around, and you feel like maybe you might have won a few folks over regarding the fear bog. Now, Master Fearbulk, why don't you tell us what you think about Fitzroy Maplecourt?

This should be great. When it came time for the Thunderman organization to hail a leader, We both decided to follow Fitzroy Maplecourt. He is dependable, motivated, results-oriented, and the kind of leader one could only dream of. he has his challenges sometimes his spells don't go his way but the all

struggle this is Fitzroy Master Fearborg now you make a persuasion check and I feel like that was a fairly convincing argument So I'm going to give you advantage. Two. 14 or 13. It's ladies' choice.

Between 14 or 13. And you have nothing to add? I'm going to go, well, I'm kind of debating between these two, but you know what? I'm going to go 14 plus 1, 15. You hear some murmurs too? No. Pretty convincing. Pretty convincing stuff.

And let's see. Fitzroy, I think that leaves Argonaut. I stand up and just very discreetly cast enhanceability on myself, channeling specifically Eagles Splendor. The target has advantage on charisma checks. Great. Your armor? No.

Now I might be a simple country night. Do it, coward. Commit. Do it. No, I'm not going to do the voice. I feel like that would be too much. Yes, because we've always shown restraint here on the adventure. Your Honor, my client,

Oganotki, is about a stand-up or rogue as one could possibly conceive of. Now, does that. make him a bad rogue? Yes. Yes, he is not good at being a rogue. There is a certain amount of maliciousness that is mandated by the job, and he does not possess even an ounce

of malice in his body. In fact, I would say he possesses much less malice than he deserves, then he rightfully should be able to possess, given his lot in life and the certain betrayals that were laid at his feet. I sort of throw that at the Commodore. And you see the Commodore's nostrils flare. Just a little, if you weren't looking at him, if you weren't looking for it, you might not have noticed.

But this might be the first time that you see his veneer break of just very slightly away from the, you know, the larger than life, a big blustering kind of figure, and you see just a touch of rage. I am a knight in absentia of the realm of good castle, which means, of course, you can believe what I say. My path is true and righteous, and yet I do find myself here upon the villain track at the Hieronymus Wiganstaff School for Heroism and villainy. And it's funny, would look at our organization that we have here, a rogue of a fearbog and a knight in absentia, and you would assume the rogue would be the master villain and I would be his unwilling accomplice. But the opposite is true. I have never known a more heroic person than Mr. Argonaut King.

The fact that we are all here, this trial is a sham. We are all facing off against an apocalyptic foe. and the fact that you all would do anything to hinder our efforts to thwart them proves that maybe you don't know quite as much as you think. But let me say this. If any of y'all try to touch a hair on Argonaut King's head, I'll explode the room. And I don't know how to do that. I don't know how I'm going to do that,

but that is the sort of loyalty that he demands and has earned. And he's a good, he's a good guy. Make a persuasion check with advantage. That almost felt like an intimidation check at the end. Well. Okay, that was a two. Not great. Not a good roll.

That is much better. That is an 18 plus 7. 20. Oh, yes. Like, everyone, the sound of nodding is audible. Necks popping in chorus. You hear like everybody's head. rubbing against the inside of their hoods as they're going,

mm-hmm, yes. They are agreeing so hard. That was great. May I say something on my behalf? Um, and Mosh looks up at the Commodore and the Commodore nods. If you know, fear wolves, you know that we cannot lie. This would seem

an ill fit for your organization. While I cannot offer you mendacity, that I can offer you is silence. I cannot pledge to lie for you. But on my life, I will stay silent when needed. Marie speaks for the first time and says, We are well aware of the fear bogs and their strengths in certain areas,

including their painful honesty. But as you are already, aware, among our number is one of the most skilled artificers in NUA. And I'm sure we would be able to figure out something. But that was well said and will be taken into account. But there is something else that must be taken into account. and she looks at you, Fitzroy, and says, I treated several students when your powers ripped chaos through the battlefields

during what was meant to be a practice of shield work and dodging, and you unleashed a wave of thunder on your fellow students, and several teachers. You are not a paragon of control. I do not know that you would make a good fit for our organization. Objection, I already stated he was the bad boy of magic. This is known. Thank you.

I'm not sure if that's helping in this particular. Okay, I'll come clean about something. Ramos, you were there. Leading the class, yes? Yes. I emitted a thunderwave intentionally. I was frustrated with my performance in the class. I am a night in training.

My shield work I thought was exemplary. I faltered. I was embarrassed. and I wanted to assert myself to the class. So as much as I am embarrassed to say it now, I think I've grown as a person that was not a chaotic use of my powers. I would never ever allow something like that to happen without my controlling it. This is a lie.

Yeah. How about a deception check there, Fitzroy? Wait, wait. Oh, I still have advantage, Dad. Don't worry. It's going to be fine. I mean, that was a 10, which is not great. Yeah, confident words from Griffin McRoy.

That is a 15 plus 722. Convincing. Ramos makes a deferential nod. Ramos doesn't talk a lot. Ramos is not a big talker, but her body language and her movements convey, like, that is, okay, that is an acceptable. answer, but you see that with that answer, the Commodore smiles, and it's not a warm smile. And he says, well, yes, that would go along with another report we have from the Centaur camp, where you, I believe violently, any checks his notes, tore that.

hand off of a wizard named Calhane and used magic and intimidation to cow a large group of centaurs and basically got your way through blood and fire. Is that correct? Would you call that a correct assessment of those events? When you say you, you mean all three of us? Because I believe I believe I'm the one that initiated the hand removal. Yeah, he loosened the lid on that particular pickle jar. Yes, but I believe, as stated, you are the leader, are you not? Oh, yeah. The CEO is actually the title that I prefer.

Ah. I mean, you use the tools you've got. We were in a thorny situation, and you had to assert yourself. Surely you would know something about that. Commodore of the seas. Surely you know something about leadership through force occasionally, yes? Yes, but that is in my public role as the leader of the naval forces. In my role as a member of the unbroken chain, I operate in secrecy. I operate with restraint. Can you tell the tribunal here, that you have shown restraint in your dealings, in your operations? I think I'm showing quite a bit currently at this exact junction, don't you? Hmm. So threats. Is that what you're going to bring to the tribunal?

Like I said, Commodore, you use the gifts you got. I see. Are there any current members here who would like to speak on behalf of these three? And Jackal steps up and says, I'll speak on behalf of Argonaut. Argonaut is a good kid. He has helped me. He's grown in his skills, though he may not be a master of deception. His rogue skills have improved amazing.

immensely, his sneakery, his lockpicking, he is growing adept, and more than that, he reminds me of his mother. And we all knew Shabby. She was a valued member of the Unbroken Chain, and she was our friend. And if Argonaut is half the member that she was, we would be left. lucky to have them. And aside from bringing in his two best friends, which, let's remember, I did the same. Mosh wouldn't be here if I hadn't brought him into the group. And, you know, normally I am senior to Mosh. I would be up there too, but I had to recuse myself because of the

connection I have to Argonaut and to Shabby. And that's how important this is. It matters enough for me to recuse myself so that there's no question that Argonaut

belongs. I'd stake my membership on it. And he throws you a smile, Argonaut. And Mosh smiles too. And I smile. And you smile. Anybody else? I'm gonna like one of those little mysterious half smiles.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got that, got that, got that. Which nobody can see because of the handlebar mustache. Yeah. I think I want to not break a full-blown stink eye lockdown with the Commodore. I am surprised. I, Griffin, I'm surprised at how much he has gotten my hackles up. So I don't think I can interrupt that with a smile. And Sabor steps up.

And Sabre says, I will speak on behalf of the fear bog. In my dealings with him and with the fear bogs I have met, I have found them to be deeply committed to their principles and their morals. and they are the epitome of restraint, and they operate for the good of the many, just as we do. I think the fearborg would represent a valued asset to our organization. And the Commodore says,

Is there anyone willing to speak on behalf of Sir Fitzroy-Macon Court? Crabtree? Come on. We spent some time in this shop. Crabtree knows what it's about. We did. Why can I never remember Crabtree's voice? Because you want to do the voice of Crabtree,

the character that dad used to do on the radio show? Jackie Crabtree. That's absolutely true, I do. Hell yes. Where's that, Tazark? I have worked with the boy, but I, I, I'm sorry, if it's really not enough to stake in my reputation on it. But I haven't done anything to necessarily, like, bone you during our time to, like, you know, me, you know what it's about. Come on. I'm sorry.

Frick, Dakota, Dakota has seen it. Point of order. Could I, could I bring up a point of order? Yeah, yes, you can. I'll speak on behalf of Fitzroy. I thought I already did that. I am still a member of the Unbroken Chain. Oh, Bazinga, yeah. Correct?

And Mosh says, yes. Here's my endorsement. Here's my endorsement statement of Fitzroy. I nominate him to become a member of the Unbroken Chain, officially the whole give them the coin because one person, one member, can invite one member. So I am officially inviting Fitzroy to join the Unbroken Chain. That's great.

And then I'll invite the Fear Bowl and this whole thing's over with, baby. It still has to be approved, though that does carry some weight. I mean, are we wrapping up here? Because this is feeling a bit climactic. Well, I have a closing statement to make. Since I called, since I'm the focus of this whole problem, may I make a statement? And the Commodore gives you a deferential knot. I am inspired by my friend the Furiburg, and I'm inspired by my friend Fitzroy.

and I think I am inspired to say this, and this is coming from my heart because you already know how much I suck at deception. If you want to kick me out of this group and redact my memory of this whole organization, fine. Because if you're not willing to help us and fight us, against this humongous, crappy threat against us, then you're not of any good to us in our efforts anyway, and neither are any memories of you because you haven't contributed a damn thing as far as I can tell. Oh!

So, I ask that if you decide to kick me out and chop out our memories, that's fine. But if you do, please, please, please look into what we've, told you today, check out the things that we've mentioned to you today, because that's more important that any memory of a fraternal organization that won't support its members would mean to me. And the Commodore says, well, it seems like it's time for the tribunal to rule. And I know how I feel. But first, Mosh, Marie, if you would like to to speak?

And Mosh says, I came into this, prepared to continue the membership of Argonak-Kean, willing to allow the membership of the Fearbulk, but I was not prepared to extend the invitation to Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt. But seeing the links to which his friends are willing to go, to defend his worthiness.

It's hard not to take that into account. Because that's what the unbroken chain is about, the bonds that we form with each other and our willingness to operate as a cohesive unit. And that is what I see before me, a cohesive unit. And Marie says, I feel the same.

I see before me three equals that do not allow titles or positions, background, their lot in life, as you said, to get in the way of that. And that is what we are all about. and I move to extend membership to all three. And Marsh says, I. And the Commodore says, Well, that is not how I feel, but I seem to be outvoted. And as this is your chapter,

and I am just a visitor here. I will have to defer to your judgment. Henceforth, all three of you will be full-fledged members of the unbroken chain. But try to keep it to yourselves. Yeah, that seems like something we're definitely going to do super good. So are we fully members now? Yes. We won?

the tribunal voted in your favor that's great news so yes the full we now have the full power in the words of my dear friend Gary suck it this is what Gary says

when a moment is triumphant he says that's right suck it has Gary ever said that I don't think this is what my The one Gary I know. Off-screen, Cool-Gerry.

Cool-Gerry. I can say, suck it. I say. When people get in Cool-Gerry's on his last nerve, he tells them, he says, look at this Joker. And then once he triumphs over them, he says, yes, suck it. Joker. He always, Cool, Gary always puts people in their place. He is a great inspiration.

Hey, you ought to invite him to join the Unbroken Chain. I will never speak of this group. Here again, I'm trying to get my triumph finished, so I may begin never speaking about it, ever. I say, can the three? of us have a quick sidebar real quick? Just a quick one. And we'll get, we don't want to be rude. We'll be right back. Just a quick sidebar. I do a huddle with you two. And I say, I'll go, I kind of have an idea and I kind of want to go after the Commodore, but I'm not going to do it unless it's something you want. And it's not something I'm going to do unless I know you're going to back me. So I will 100% back you.

I am with you whatever you want to do. What are they going to do? Kick us out again? That's a great point. I feel like we have a sort of immunity for at least, what, an hour or so? And Fearbog,

I don't really know how this is going to go down, but your emotional support is, as always, much appreciated. Yes. And the Commodore says, now if you three are done, we do have the second matter to discuss

this so-called upcoming war that you are seeking our support in. Yeah, I mean, are we members? Can we add to the agenda? Yes.

Cool. Jackal, tell me about the tribunal rules. Like, what do you have to do to get a tribunal called against you? Something bad? Um, yes.

Um, you would bring it to senior members like, myself or Mosh or, you know, Marie, or in this case, Commodore, and one of us would have to call the tribunal. Okay. What if one member of the Unbroken Chain was responsible for the death of another member of the Unbroken Chain? That would be pretty bad, wouldn't it?

Uh, yes. One might call that a qualifying event for a tribunal, yeah? I. Well, then I think. we should probably call a tribunal against the Commodore. Just like if we're being fair and we're all doing tribunals today and we're all here and we already have the pizza and the Commodore is visiting. Like he's here.

When else are we going to get the opportunity? Excuse me. How dare you? What possible reason could there be? I, you have been a member all of two minutes. and your first action is to insult me, insult a senior member? I mean, it's only an insult if it's not true. Actually, no, that doesn't.

That's libel. I'm thinking of libel. But yeah, I guess that was my first order. I was going to get some pizza and then insult you, but it sounded like you were making moves. So, yeah. Jackal, what do you think? You think that's tribunal worthy? Uh, I, it, it could be.

What's your, what are you getting at, boys? Argo. Basically, the commenter's responsible for my mom's death. He betrayed her. He was the one who set up the ambush that got her killed, and he is responsible for her death. It's my whole reason for being. It has been up until very recently the only reason I had for living.

He betrayed her. He was responsible for her death. If this organization can be the tool for me getting him, fine. If not, I'll figure out another way to get him. but Commodore, you lion's sack of shit, you're the reason my mom is dead. I think it's time for you to answer for your crimes.

You're about to get tribuneed. And as you've been saying this, Argonaut, you can see the Commodore growing red in the face and beginning to splutter and standing. But before he can speak, the jackal turns to him. and you've, you realize that you've never seen the jackal stand to his full height and make himself present. It just never occurred to you how he moves through scenarios trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. You know, his whole existence is based on sneaking, moving through.

and so he always tries to make himself as slight as possible, but not now. He stands to his full height and makes himself there. And he turns, his eyes full of rage and hatred, looks at the Commodore and says, I, as a senior member of Kinshain, call the Commodore. To tribunal. As soon as this proclamation is made, this group, whose entire ethos is based in order,

erupts into chaos. The Commodore is on his feet, and he is moving towards you, Argonaut, saying, How dare you, your little spray, I'll crush you beneath my boot, as Ramos, steps between the two of you, and she doesn't say anything, but her physical presence is enough

to break his stride. And she says, finally, return to your seat. And he stares at the Goliath, having to look up to make eye contact with her. He begins to speak, but then looks around and realizes all eyes are on him. And he moves to return to his chair, but Mosh says, not that seat. And he gestures to the seat that up until now has been occupied by Fitzroy Maplecourt. Kept it warm for you. Farted in it, lots of farts.

I don't. have to stand for this. I... I am... No, you sit. You sit in the chair. I thought we made that clear. You have a chair.

We, like, did a whole thing just, like, five seconds ago about the chair. Uh, let's say fear bulk. Make a perception check for me. Uh, 18 plus seven. As all this is happening, you... have noticed something out of the corner of your eye that no one else seems to have noticed.

Winding between your feet and the feet of your friends, a cat is flickering in and out of existence as it moves between your feet, nuzzling against your legs. The cat? Yep. Is it the cat that... It is the cat that you've seen so many times hanging out in your dorm room budding up to the three of you.

You know what? I'm going to try to use... I don't want anybody to panic, but I'm going to use a magical spell. Whoa! I know. I've been hiding my incredible powers... From you.

Wait, there's magic in this game? Only me. I thought it was just court cases. I'm the chosen one, and I have the incredible ability to cast a magical spell. I'm just looking for the one about aminals, because I know that I got it. Yeah, it's in there.

Hold on. Oh, here it is. I think it's called Aminal Good Friend. I cast first level divination, speak with aminals. And I mean, I can speak with the... Can you tell me what the text of that spell says? I gain the ability to comprehend and verbally communicate with beasts for the duration, the knowledge and awareness of many beasts limited by their intelligence, but it may be. At minimum, beasts can give you information about nearby locations and monsters, including

whatever they can perceive or have perceived within the past day. You might be able to persuade a beast to perform a small favor for you at the GM's discretion. Great, great, great, great. All right. Well, now you can talk to this kitty. What brings you to the... This is in cat. Yeah.

She has me. Knows my shit. I just sound like an absolute maniac. Well, yeah, we could just subtitle it. So if you want to just say it in cat... Okay. What brings you? you to the tribunal.

I had to decide what a cat sounds like. Well, I feel like that's pretty well established at this point what a cat says. What? Meow. Want treat? Damn.

Would you like a berry? Fish jerky. Fish jerky. Argonaut I require fish jerky and no questions He pans over Like a half foot

Like six inches of fish jerky This is too much jerky It will kill the cat Three inches Perfect It's tilapia I chucked the tilapia's jerky Three inches of tilapia jerky right at that silly cat

What do you want from this kitty? I don't fucking know you threw it in my path. I have no quarrel with this cat. You just put a cat there. I talked to the cat. I know, I know, I have nothing for this cat. I mean, so far, I'll say, I was in the transaction, the cat's up.

The cat's up. The cat's up. So let's bump back over to what is going on in, uh, the second tribunal of the day. where the Commodore now sits before Marie, Mosh, and Ramos. Because once again, the Jackal, he's a little too invested in this to be able to sit the tribunal. And Mosh now sitting in the tall seat says, perhaps Commodore, we should begin by explaining your involvement. in the death of Shabri Keen.

And don't lie! I had nothing to do with the death of Shabri Keen. It was a complete, unavoidable accident. She sailed on her own. It was supposed to be through calm waters. It ended up being an ambush, but there's no way I could have known. Mosh shan't to you, Argonaut, and says, what evidence do you have to the contrary?

Well, she was involved in this whole process. She got this whole job from the Commodore. Do you admit the fact that you were her supervisor, that you were the one that gave her her orders? And I admit freely that I was her privateer contract, that she worked directly under me. But that doesn't mean I don't. knew there was going to be an ambush?

How could I know? That's the very definition of an ambush boy. Well, otherwise, how would the ambushers have known where she was going, except for the fact that you sent her there? Nobody else would know. Nobody else would know where she was going, and yet they knew the exact right place to ambush her. You're the only other person that knew where she was going.

She didn't even tell us. I, the ambushers could have been there. for any number of reasons. The seas are dangerous. You know that. Jackal, you know that. One doesn't need to be told where someone's going to be

for pirates to attack. Do you have any counter for that Argonaut? Really, really should have thought this out ahead of time. I mean, it was my boner, if I'm being honest. I really got a little excited for justice. You know what? Let's bring a little bit. of Dungeons and Dragons back into it.

Argonaut, you've had a lot of time to think about this. You have had, what, how long since your mother died? 20 years. Make an insight check. I have advantage because of the monocle of misdirection. Well, there you go. Make that roll and see how it goes. That's 15 minus 1.

That's a 14. And that's a 19 minus 1. minus one and 18. With that 18, you have looked at it again and again. And the thing is, it's always been tough for you to figure out why would the Commodore do this? Because your mother was an incredible captain. And she made the Commodore look good on countless occasions. And seeing him here now, it clicks. he was jealous. She was better than him.

The crew liked her better than him, and perhaps you would be willing to guess his higher-ups, his commanders, liked her, and he felt threatened. Threatened like he is now. And you can see that when cornered, when threatened,

The Commodore gets angry. And probably your willing to bet is willing to kill to protect himself. Okay. I want to make a deception check. 14 plus 5. That's 19. It's pretty good. I know for a fact that the Commodore wanted my

mother to fail. I have proof. I have a letter that she wrote to me expressing concerns that the Commodore was felt threatened by her, her success, and that she would eventually threaten his position as the Commodore. He had made open threats to her, to her. and those around him that he felt threatened and he would do anything he could because he wasn't getting the credit for all these great things. And he basically is a coward who has always hid behind the accomplishments of those that worked for him and around him, taking the glory, taking the credit. when he has never really had his own success,

he's always contracted with all these other people without fighting a single battle of his own and certainly without winning a single battle of his own. And for that reason, that is why he wanted to get rid of my mom. And he's a coward, and he's basically a failure at everything he's tried to. to do except steal the credit for everybody else. You know, I love a dad ratching up the already solid deception role by adding to that.

And I also have physical, demonstrable proof in my possession should anyone need to say. He'd already tricked them. And his trick was, I have this thing I could show you whatever. Just let me know. And the Commodore says, you lie. I am the greatest naval hero that has ever lived, boy. And no such letter exists because I never threatened your mother, and I would never do that. And the jackal, without looking away from the Commodore says,

Argonaut does not lie. I have seen the letter. What? And suddenly, the Commodore, his body language shifts. And he says, don't you see what's happening here? These boys, this liar, and he points at Jackal, they're turned against me. This is some kind of vendetta.

They come in here lying about some kind of war just to make their way in here. because he, and he points at you, Argo, is looking for blood because of an unavoidable event that happened to his mother. Don't you see? This is all the lies from the demon war to this accusation. None of this. None of this is true. And Mosh says,

I think you're going to need to come with us. and crab tree steps forward with a set of manacles. And the Commodore reaches into his coat and withdraws a vial. And inside the vial is a dark, ink-black, smoky liquid. And he raises it and says, if any of you take one step towards me. I'll smash this on the ground and you'll all be dead before you can take another.

Can the Commodore make a wisdom saving throw? Yes. Because I'm a cast hold person. So he doesn't do that. Yeah, he shouldn't have announced it. He shouldn't have said it. He did announce his intent. I'm going to make him not do it.

With a hold person. That is 18. Now, but hold on. Uh-huh. Because I have a thing, I think. A thing. I have a thing. Okay, it's heightened spell.

When you cast a spell that forces a creature to make a saving throw to resist effects, you can spend three source. Do I have three sorcery points? I think so. To give one target of the spell disadvantage on the first saving throw made against the spell. I do. I have four sorcery points. I will spend three of them on this.

So he has disadvantage. failed on the second one. What does hold person do? I mean, this is like the oldest D&D spell. I feel like I should just know this. Choose a human one. You can see within range. They must succeed on a wisdom saving thrower,

be paralyzed for the duration. You know, if we're going by one round of battle, we have six seconds of paralyzed time, which should... He's frozen. Get the thing. And you hear him mutter a word as you all step forward

and coming through the shimmering doorway is gray the demon prince. Oh, shit. Who says, you called?