The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Graduation Ep. 23: Between a Rock and a Hell Place

Episode Date: September 3, 2020

It's hard to maintain order in the court when a Demon Prince disrupts proceedings. Everyone knows that. The Thundermen have to deal with the uninvited guest and then things just get worse. Like, WAY WORSE. A perilous journey is executed. A new plan is hatched. A cat eats more jerky. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Hey, it's me Gary. Previously on the Adventure Zone graduation, the Thundermen were called before tribunal of the unbroken chain. It originally was to determine their worthiness as potential members, but very quickly, it turned into a trial for the Commodore. The Commodore, by the way, is Argo's mortal enemy, and also the person Argo blames for his mother's death. The Thunderman challenged him,

and he quickly melted down and threatened to attack the whole unbroken chain before Fitzroy froze him, at which point he muttered some kind of command word and that's when Gray the demon prince appeared. So first, here at the start, I want to answer a question

that ended the last episode. And Griffin, you asked what door did Gray step through? And the answer is not, the door to the cavern that you are in, but rather a door that seemed to be ripped open in the fabric of space. I figure he's one of them space doors.

Yes. Now he stepped through and now he is here and it seemed to have closed behind him but it is very reminiscent of the tear that the Zorn fell through. Oh, okay. Man, haven't thought about that Zorn in a grip. And Gray says, this is frustrating, if I'm being honest.

If I'm being honest, this has put me in a real pickle, gentlemen. I mean, honestly, I'm at a loss here because on the one hand, the Commodore revealing that we are in league with each other is a whole thing. That's going to make, you know, it's, what's the point of having? a mole when everyone's like that's the mole, right? But at the same time, I do need him

for like the whole war thing. Well, I mean, you can't blame us because you picked a crappy mole. You know what I mean? Like, it's not our fault that your mole stinks, you know? And it's never a good idea to pick at a mole. Really? And truly?

Gross. I mean, you guys were the ones who pressed the issue. Come on. Take a little way. It took nothing for this dude to fall over. It was gray. It was literally nothing. You picked a bad mole.

You could have just been cool. You know what I mean? So what do I do? Right? I can't kill you. Kill him? I mean, I'm just saying. Or us.

I'm concerned. Well, no, I need him. Right? He's like a good naval officer and I'm planning a war. Come on, I can't. Wait a minute. There's going to be water fighting, too, in our war? Probably.

Guys, did you know there's going to be water? I don't know anything about water fighting. I had hoped. I mean, because I'm a naval background. You know, I was thinking, oh, hoop, there's a water battle. Hoop there's a water battle. Fearable, can you turn into like an orca whale? I feel like my wheels are spinning now.

I have not seen this. I must see the animal. Here is a list of animals. I have seen. Let's see. Oh, short. Weirdly short list. There's no artworks on here.

Dog, did I do dog? I've seen cat. I have seen Gary. He's not animal. Can we pick this back up in? Sorry, Gray. Sorry, a few minutes.

This is also tricky. You have a picture of the old car oil. I'll draw you a very convincing one. Gray, we are so sorry. It is just that like also now the the unbroken chain, like knows that like conclusively I, it's a thing. Wait, you know about the unbroken chain? Oh, I guess. I have a mold.

Keep up, Arco. And now like, I have, he was going to do a whole thing where he like called you guys liars and like convinced them not to help you. And you fucking blew that up. Language. Sorry, I'm just a little P-Oed right now. Yes. Sure. I have a suggestion.

Why don't you quit? You know, like surrender to us and... Well, give up your big plan of a war. That's not going to... That's nothing. That's nothing. Why don't you quit, huh? How about that?

Well, yeah, I mean, you're the one who's got the problem. Or should I quit? Who is... So, sorry, who's hearing the... conversation. Well, you would imagine everyone. Okay. But you have not checked in on the other members.

I mean, what is their reaction to that? I don't know that anybody else in this room knows who this being is. But the Commodore does. Yes. Yes. Okay. Everyone is fairly, like, I would say taken aback, but also, like, taking it in. Right?

they have been around powerful despots before. They have dealt with threats before. They are not new to, you know, body language-wise, like, picking up a threat has just entered the room. They see the way that you three are interacting, the way that you have reacted. They're just coming off of, like, the Commodore having some kind of big explosion and threatening them. So everyone is, I would say, coiled like a spring. Okay. I have a suggestion.

Make them forget. Hmm. There is a way. The unbroken chain said that if we fail this test, then we would be, our memories of them would be erased. So someone has the ability to do this. I can't help but disagree with my friend here,

and maybe we should have. have a sidebar conversation before we start offering up our memories to the demon prince. We know the situation. The memories of the others. Things will go back to how they were before. I would love it if they would be on our team in vanquishing the demon prince. This will not happen. And if I understand this.

this struggle becoming public is not what we agreed to with Gray he could smash us now if he wishes oh yeah just to chime in that is absolutely true chaos would be pissed but I could I could absolutely do that

hmm was was Gray kind of British before No one is quite sure. Okay. I think Gray was British in the way that Fitzroy is British and that I've never done a British accent for him. I've just been kind of proper.

Hello, hello. It's me, Gray, the demon prince. What's all this then, apples and pears? Gray, listen, you challenged us to a war. Part of war... Yes, I did, yes. Part of war is organizing your forces. You're trying to do that.

We're trying to do that. Right now, you are interfering in our war. effort. And you can do that in the same way that you could squash us like a bug right now, but you want a great war. And if you step in on our war efforts, including our attempts at Sutterfuge, then you're sullying that. It will not be a true war. It will be orchestrated. You did give us a smart, right? Yeah. That is an excellent point. And now I'm British again. You know, here's what I'm. I'm thinking.

I, hmm, I will leave you your troops, but, yes, I'm just going to slow you down a bit. Now, before I act, I would like to say, up until now, it's been contentious between us. I recognize that, and you know what? I will accept partial responsibility for this. Fitzroy, I'd like you to know I am open to accepting you to Team Grey. I know.

Listen, things got heated. Things have been bad before us, between us. But before all this broke bad, before the coward decided to ruin everything. I was grooming you, right? I was going, I was bringing you on, you know, slowly to Team Gray, warming you up. I was going to have you be, you know, like one of mine.

And then Higelmiss blew that to shit. But if you could see your way to it, you know, I've been there for you up till now. I've helped you out. I've, you know, contributed. And I would still accept you. on to my team. I am already the member of a team. And this team is awaiting

S-Corp status confirmation from the Treasury Department. So until we hear back from the Secretary of State, I will have to decline. A Thunderman rolls hard, rolls together. Guys, hold on. Help me think of something cool to say. Like, Thunderman never say die

or like something cool to say. I haven't. You'll be hearing from our legal team. That's good. Well, chills the blood, doesn't it? Fitzroy, I would caution you, not to deny me lightly. You've gotten used to certain comforts, and I could take that away. Your beloved crepe machine in the cafeteria, I gave that, and I could take it away.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yes, that would be the worst thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life. So thank you for sparing me that punishment. I don't think you know what chaos has made me capable of, Gray. Ooh, now that, that was a chilling. Ooh, I got goose pimples. Then give me a bit of a buzz, a bit of a tingle.

Okay. I'm glad I could do that for you. It wasn't a threat. It was merely an observation. Our power comes from the same source, Gray. You know nothing of what I'm capable of. Now, I just want to make sure that Unbroken Chain, everyone in the back heard that, right? That one of your new members, if I'm not mistaken, his power comes from chaos. So just let that simmer for a moment. Now that we've reached that point in the conversation, Thank you so much for that, Fitzroy. So now I'm going to take the Commodore and go. You all take some time because you will have plenty of it. And he begins stepping backwards till he is standing next to the Commodore. I am going to attack the Commodore with Ice Knife. I'm going to say, I'm trying to think of how to translate. to the fact that gray is standing right next to him.

Well, so here's what I'll say. Do a slide of hand check first to see if you can cast it without gray noticing. Okay. Hell yeah, 18, plus 2, 20. Okay, yes. So you can cast it without him noticing. Okay. So now roll against the Commodore's AC or whatever ice knife the check is.

I'm going to cast it as a third level spell. Oh, 17 plus plus 7. Well, I mean, that that hits, four, sure. And then that is a, let me just use the roller here,

rather than try to pick around for a D10, because who knows, right? Yeah. Who even knows what that looks like? That is a six, and you have to make a dexterity saving throw.

Well, he is currently frozen, so that's going to be disadvantaged for sure. Wait, on the hit, the target takes 1D10 piercing damage, so that's a 6. The shard then explodes. The target and each creature within 5 feet of it must succeed on a dexterity saving throw or take 2D6 cold damage.

Okay, yeah, the Commodore fails. For sure. But gray rolled in 18, so I'm going to say that that he succeeds okay so the damage is seven from that um

and i think that the cold damage increases by one d6 for each level so i need to roll two more d6 whoa jesus christ are we trying to kill the commodore i what the fuck do we have to lose honestly we all know where we stand here it's a cool oh my god 11 that's fantastic

Fantastic. Okay, so that's 18 points of damage. I cast an ice knife when no one's looking, and I chuck into the Commodores. Well, you tell me, depending on how many hit points he has, either it went into his butt, went into his eyeball. I'm gonna say 18 points of damage.

It's fairly significant. I'm gonna say it pierces. And that is for the cold damage. That's just for the cold damage. He also took, what was it, what I say, seven? Was it, what I say? Seven, six. Six.

Four, two years of damage. And I'm going to say, fuck that guy. Yeah, I'm going to see that that is a, that cold damage especially. I'm going to give that kind of a, a, like, frostbite kind of feel, you know, internally it's going to hit him in his, let's say, left shoulder. And it's going to do some lasting damage. You know, he's still frozen, but maybe like a, mm-hmm. kind of escapes and a single tear rolls down his face.

But Gray is significantly pissed about this. Well, I was hoping it wouldn't get nasty, but here we are. And Fearbug, I'm going to need you to make a fairly high decks save for me. Okay. Wish you wouldn't tell me how high it needs to be. I feel like it throws off my dice trajectory. I like to prepare you. Uh, 16 plus...

Uh, two, 18. And you, as well as, uh, mosh, Ramos, and Crab Tree, um, in the blink of an eye, uh, onyx daggers fly across the room, um, and hit you all in the shoulder. And you're going to take six points of damage as well. and you feel a buzz, a tingle, and then a numbness in your left arm. And you are poisoned. Hey.

And so until that gets taken care of, your left arm is going to be useless to you. And that kind of numbness, you can feel it very slowly creeping further and further into your body. You have all seen this. Let there be no doubt about what we face.

If you had doubts before when we entered, let them be gone now. This is four. Ah, so have some time. time to yourselves, talk to them about it, maybe see to those wounds. And yes, so we'll check back in in a little while. Bye. And he tears another rip in the fabric of space and time.

Can we see anything? I'm very, I want to know about this rip. So if I could bullet time it for like a second here before he closes the rip, do we see through this rip? Roll a perception check for me. That's not going to be good. Actually, I've three points in perception. 14 plus 2, 16.

13 plus 3, 16. Weird. Yeah, so both of you are able to see beyond this. What, what, in, you know, a sliver of space large enough for him and the Commodore to pass through, a window into what you would describe as a nightmare. that it is the angles are all wrong, the color palette hurts your head to look at, it is difficult to perceive. Does it look like our plane of existence? Not at all.

Fantastic, okay. And as he and the Commodore disappear through the rift, Argo throws a spidey tracer through the rift. That is nothing. I thought that was an actual magic item that you had acquired at some point. No, it's a thing Spider-Man has, Griffin. Oh, I see, I see.

It's a thing Spider-Man does. And the tear in space closes behind gray. But that's not all that closes. You see, every time you have gone to the Unbroken Chain headquarters, you have entered the blacksmiths, they've turned off the fire, you've crossed through the forge and passed through a shimmering veil to enter the cavern. Except now the shivering veil is gone. And all that's left is a blank rock wall.

So are we trapped? Yes. Is everyone still in here with us? Yep. And just a reminder, not only was the FearBogg kit, but so was Mosh, Ramos, and Crabtree. All right. Argo does some medicine check on the Fearbolg.

Okay. Is that a... You got roll? Okay. Were you about to say, is that a thing? 17 minus 1, 16. So you are able to stop the bleeding with that and remove the onyx dagger without too much blood loss, but the poison is still an ongoing concern. I give him the potion of poison resistance.

Well, it's a little too late for that. resistance you need before the poisoning cure you need after okay but if anybody else tries to poison me fuck them yeah no way pal no way okay so um who's in charge of getting the door let's start delegating because we're boned can anyone get the door back open from this side or are we buried in a sort of is it a fulcruel sort of situation

uh jackal steps up and is looking at the wall with you and says, unfortunately, the doorway was built by a member that is not here with us currently and has not attended a meeting in many, many years. Higgleness connected that, and no one here has the knowledge of how to reconnect the passage. I can take it swing at it. You know about transdimensional. travel.

No, but sometimes when I cast spells, funny stuff happens. So maybe we'll get very, very lucky. Sure. No, let's not waste time. Yeah, you'd probably explode something and kill everybody. It's not a good idea to do in a very enclosed space. Marie, can you do something to help the poisoned party members? I will attempt to slow it, but without my supplies, without, you know, potions, I can't just

cure poison. Let me see what I can do. And, oh, that's a very good role. So she is able to slow the poison and she is able to get you Fearbol back on your feet. But it takes a lot of her magic just to get you to a point where your head is not swimming anymore and you are able to move steadily. the other, she moves to work on Mosh and Ramos and Crabtree. You were just the first person she came to. Master Fjaburg, I must say of all of us that I expected to pop off, you were literally last on the list.

I am surprised but delighted by your chutzpah. I tired of the talking. You're a furvogue of action. This was calculated. There were a lot of powerful people in that room, and I thought it was a good time to do some brand building. I think you accomplished that goal swimmingly. Is the space cat...

Swimming, I won't be able to do this anymore. It's only just occurred to me. Well, I mean, we'll get you... With only one arm. We'll get you patch down. I will not swim again. Hey, now, come on. What kind of talk?

The cool waters shall not grace my skin. I am landborn. Um, is the, is the, uh, riff, the space cat, the end of the, the see-through cat. The dimensionally traveling cat, yes. Yeah, he's still here. The dimensionally traveling kitty cat is still there. I named him Schrodinger. Did you?

That's a cute name. I thought that was kind of cute. Is there anything you hit? Sweet, sweet sweet. I'm good to animals. I want you to meet my spectral crab. His name is Snippers. Snippers, will you vouch?

Travis's greatest vocal challenge. So Snippers, they start kissing. Whoa. No, no. No. Snippers, if you can just tell the cat, like, discern if the cat can jump, use his dimension leaping magic to get us all out of this room. I'm saying this out loud, and it sounds pretty silly, actually. And, you know, it's difficult to tell on a crab's face, but the impression you get is, I'll try.

Oh, all right, man. He pulls out a cigarette, takes his coat off. All right, let's see. There's a lot of language barriers here. I got to translate from human to crab to kitty and back. If only there was someone here who could talk to animals. Well, we're letting him rest. I'll take a shot at it.

Miao, meow, meow. You kissed your mother with that mouth? Sorry, with that meowth. So, through, I will say, through communication. between your psychic link with snippers and the fearbook still having that the connection, the speak with animals on the cat gets the general impression and says, feast jerky? Are you, Argo, you Holden?

Yeah, oh, sure. I never go to a meeting without fish jerky. This would be, let's see, ooh, tilapia. I hope everybody else in the room is looking at us. Like, what the fuck are you guys doing? They're all like tending to their wounded friends and like looking for passages. And like every something, they just keep looking at it. Oh, no, they've lost it.

This is how Thunderman does it. Does business. Oh, I got carp. You want carp or tilapia? Telapia. Oh. I can't say no to you. Meow.

So the cat eats the jerky. disappears. Mission accomplished. I destroyed the cap. Yeah, how old was that jerky, my man? Well, no, well, I mean, who can tell with jerky, right? And Jacko comes over and says, some of the other members have expressed concern.

What in the sweet holy hell are you doing with the kitty? I'll be honest. Here's where I'm at. First of all, you invented the perfect dungeon trap, and then we all got caught in it. So I don't really see how any of this is our fault. But secondly, it's supposed to be like a panic. We're miles away from the school. If we ever, like, it's a panic room.

It's awesome because I feel very panicked right now. So well done. But also that the kitty cat can teleport. Oh, man, it does sound pretty goofy, huh? Yes. If I'm being honest, I'm a bird person. I'm a bird man. And a teleporting cat does sound pretty down. And then the cat reappears. And around his neck, there's a little mirror hung, like a little mirror on a chain about two or three inches wide. We pick it up. Uh, hello, is it, Fitzroy. Fitzroy, it's Higg.

Higg. Higgummus, Wigginstaff? Yes? I've literally never called, I've never called you Hig. I've never heard anyone call you Hig. Oh, they used to call me Hig when I was younger, and now I'm younger again, and it, it feels bad. Higgumiss. I, it's Higelmiss. Okay, hey, what's up?

Hey. You're, um, well, I guess I could ask you that you're trapped in the, in the, in the, cave, right? Yeah. Any way you could come and just pop the door for us and let us out. We have some very poisoned party members in here. Well, um, this is kind of like a, uh, like a good news, bad news, good news, bad news situation. So bad news, I can't open it.

Good news. I can tell you how to open it. Bad news. You'll have to move. through a hell dimension. Good news. Not that far. It's a lot of news, Higelmiss.

Yeah. So basically, it's not just a portal. It's a tunnel. And so you have to kind of open up both ends of the tunnel. Right. Hell dimension. Is that something me and my comrades are going to be able to survive? or?

It depends on how fast and quiet you can move. But not far, like I said, not far. Like, 100 yards. That's wicked far. That's super wicked far when you're talking about a hell dimension. I did say it was bad news.

All right. Is everyone else hearing this in the room? Well, I don't, we don't have much choice, do we? It's that or some of us die very quickly from poison and then the rest of us eat them. Well, I'm Team Hell Dimension. Well, you wouldn't want to eat someone if they'd been poisoned. I know. That was the realization that pushed me over to Team Hell Dimension.

Oh. Well, that says a lot about you. And okay. Okay. It's fairly straightforward. And he passes on to you the very magical, complicated language that you need to say to open up the portal and the hand movements. And you get it You know what I mean Like I could try to communicate it to the audience But it's so Like cool looking Very like Dr. Strange level

You know what I mean? Cool stuff Yeah The crimson bends of Sitterach Exactly you know what Dad can do it better than I could You know what I mean? Sure

Now So now you know how to open it On your end What kind of preparation Are you going to do? I mean Who's running through this thing, because I imagine

one of us might be the quietest, but also if something bad happens in that 100-yard stretch, it would probably be better to have safety in numbers. But like Master Fear Bowl, do you even feel up to this? I will be fine. Okay.

Is this something, all right, here's a suggestion. How about if I go through first, use my amazing rogue stalking and sneaking skills. It's bad.

It's already bad. Go the 100 yards, open up the portal, and then everybody just run like crazy across the 100 yards. Yeah, and then only some of us will be picked up by sort of flying demons and taken to their lava bed. Well, I didn't say it was a flawless plan. Yes. I mean, I can turn invisible, so I'm good. You can turn other people invisible too, though, can't you? I can, but it'll take me like, how many people are in the room?

It'll take me like three or four days. Well, so looking around the room, Mosh, Ramos, and Crabtree are still very much not up to traveling. Marie needs to say with them as she is tending to their woods. So that leaves you with jackal, Sabor, the turtle, and Dakota. I mean, everyone's going to have to go through this time. right? Well, but once you open up both ends, it will become a portal once more.

Okay. All right. Then the way three are the only ones that really need to go, right? Jackal, I mean, you're pretty sneaky. I can travel with you boys if you want to. You don't need to do this on your own. Okay.

Then that's three. I can turn all four of us invisible. It's going to tap me basically four. the day on everything else. So no more, no more spells from this, from this guy. Once I do that, but I can do it. You don't need to worry about me.

But it's an even number. A nice even number. Is that how magic works? Well, no, but I can do it at two people at a time. Oh, I see. So I may as well make you invisible. Don't be proud just because you're the sneakiest bird in the world. I was trying to save your spell sluts.

No, no, no. It's all good. It's all good. Okay. What are those? Spell sluts. You needn't worry about it, boy. It's something only a kinku have. Ah, okay. Okay. I mean, that ought to do it, right? Yeah.

You don't sound very sure. Well, I've never traveled in the hell dimension before, so it's kind of new. Okay. Do you still have that, do you still have the mirror thing to talk to Higlemus? I accidentally, it's so funny you said that. I did drop it. And it broke. And I feel like a real dumb, dumb about it.

Um, no, yeah, I do so. Ask him what we're going to see. What, what, what could possibly attack us in there? Um, do you really want to know? Yeah. Do you know anything about pit fiends? We do, actually. Oh, the one.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of those down there. Um, hellhounds. There's a lot of those. Hmm. Um, you're also going to have. some psychic issues, if I'm being honest,

that you're going to need to kind of deal with. So moving quickly is like a really... It's a good call. Yeah. Okay. I'm very scared. Let's go. And you speak the incantation and perform the correct hand gestures

and the portal opens before you and you are looking directly into a nightmare. You sat foot into a hell dimension. And the air is painful. No, not hot, but burning. It's like a chemical burn where all you feel is uncomfortable. Everything, it hurts and itches and burns in a way that could never be relieved.

and it's amazing how quickly you become accustomed to it. Not that you don't notice it anymore, but more that you accept that this is a pain and a discomfort that you will always feel. We have made the mistake and ended up at the DMV. Classic. Rock and debris float in the air. Dungeon Master vehicle.

Oh, I get it. Store. Rocks and debris float in the air in a mockery of physics. Corners and angles connect in a perversion of geometry that can not be measured by mortal minds. The colors are difficult for your eyes to perceive and trying to focus on any one thing for too long causes the headache like you've never experienced. I want all three of you to make a wisdom saving. Sure not a constitution.

Oh, 19. 19 flat. 10 minus 1, that's a 9. The kid has a... A, oh man, natural 20. Ooh, you feel great. So Fitzroy and the Fearbug, this discomfort, it begins to creep in, but you are able to push past and remember the purpose of this visit,

what you need to do, and how quickly you need to move. But Argo, you are overwhelmed by this discomfort, and it creeps not only through your skin, into your mind as well, and all you want to do is curl into a ball on the ground and try to block it all out. Oh, hey. Oh, crap. Oh, I don't... You must keep moving. Uh, look, this is good. I'm good right here. You all go ahead. I just need to, uh, puke or catch my breath or something. No, just hold on to, hold on to my belt loop.

Let's step now. The back belt loop. This is, oh, oh, fludge kick. Oh, no, this. Just got, go. Oh, God, this is the worst. Oh. Yeah, I mean, us splitting up, it's not a good idea, I imagine, in the hell dimension.

So, like, let's make a chain and put, how does Jackal look? He's looking good. He is dealt with discomfort and depression. many times in his life. This is no new field for him. Okay. All right. Seriously, let's go.

I don't want to stay in this hell dimension. What's the, and where is this empty out at? So basically about 100 yards ahead. It's uneven ground. There are lots of rocks and rock formations and everything, but you see about 100 yards the rock formation that Higg has described to you, that looks kind of like a curling,

two-sided claw, forming almost a complete circle, that this is where you want to form that second opening. Okay. Are we invisible? Did I do my invisibility thing? Yes. Okay.

If you tell me you did, I believe you. Okay, I already marked down all the many, many spell slots that I guess. The answer is yes. Yeah. Okay. Seriously, Master Feuble, you're quite big. Can you make sure that Argo doesn't fall behind? Yes, and I will tie...

I probably can't pick him up. Can I pick him up? Do a strength of front. Yeah. It's not necessarily my strong suit, but I'm a big boy. You are a big boy. I'm a big boy, but my strength is not great. 14 plus 2.

Yeah, you're able to pick him up. You're moving a little slower. So that is definitely going to wear down any, like, athletics checks, hypothetically that you might need to make. Yeah. But you are now carrying. Just to give a stat, for example, that it might impact. Just hypothetically, if that were to come up, you know what I mean?

Perhaps your speed is decreased. But you are now carrying your friend. Thank you, Ferbog. Thank you. I might have pooped my pants a little. I'm sorry. That is like the third time. And I also just now as Dungeon Manchester, I want to tell you guys, that has nothing to do with whatever is going on in the hell dimension.

I don't know why that. Oh, okay, fantastic. Well, when you get psychic damage, just see if you shit your pants. I mean, you probably won't. It's not really connected. I don't know why. Moving on in the hell dimension. So you now have two paths ahead of you.

One is going to travel over higher ground. and it will leave you more exposed, hypothetically, but you are invisible, so that will help. But it looks to be a little more even of a pathway. Then there is another one that gives a little more cover with smaller rock formations, but it is going to be a little bit more difficult to traverse. I mean, we're invisible.

Yeah, the easier path probably. The easier path would be great because of how invisible we are. Oh, wait, no. Oh, my God, no. I just realized, I just realized, Griffin just realized something that I don't know if Sir Fitzroy Thunderman Maplecourt

with his minus one intelligence modifier would remember. No, he would remember this. Oh yeah. Hey guys, I turn the invisibility spell off. Pit fiends have, can see through illusions. Okay. Woo! I was about to just have to break

and just tell you because I thought so bad. So yeah. That was, I literally wasted all the magic I had in the day. I have one very, very small spell left in me, and that's it. So I've really screwed us. So we are now officially sneaking again, immediately starting now. So which pathway are you going to do? Maybe the safer path. Maybe the hard safe path. The hard path that's not going to just put a spotlight on us. Okay. So everyone, go ahead and make a stealth check for me. 13 plus 2, 15. Okay. 14 plus 10. 24.

Okay. So you had a bad day. It got to fail. Oh, boy. And you fucked it all up. Okay. Your family is dead. The kill by devils.

Okay. Thought you had a magic cloak, bud. It was a lie. Well, all right. Come under my cloak, he said. Have some laughs. Okay. In the distance, you hear.

I'm going to begin sneaking in three, two, one. You are in the middle of this uneven pathway, trying to sneak your way through. And Fitzroy, you step on some uneven stones, and they give out beneath you. And you land heavily with whatever metal is on your body, be it arm or be it weapons, making quite a loud clanging noise. And it's hard for you not to make a loud oof sound. And when you stand up, you also see that you are bleeding slightly.

So go ahead and take, it's three damage. It's not bad. It's a little cut on your arm. But you hear in the distance, not too far off, the howl of hellhounds. Run. So I now need you all to make athletics checks. Wait a minute. You swore. You swore this wouldn't be a factor.

And Fear Bowl, you have got disadvantage. Don't even need it. Man, I really screwed everyone over here except me because I'm quite good athletics. I rolled a 15 plus 6, 21. That's a 10 plus 5, 15. and my second roll is a 12 plus 5, 17. Okay. So 15.

Argo, you don't have to roll because he's carrying. Yeah. Maybe I didn't. Too bad. I rolled a 16 plus 4. That'd be dirty 20. Yeah, you're very athletically being carried. Okay.

So Fitzroy, you are fleet footedly moving across the stones. You are doing great. Jackal is right behind you. Fearbug, you are moving at a steady pace. You're not tripping over anything, but you are not moving nearly as quickly. as Fitzroy is. And the banging of Hellhounds is getting louder and louder. Fitzroy, you reach the rock formation

and the Fearbug is still about 20 yards behind you. And from this higher vantage point, you are able to see about another 30 yards behind him are the Hellhounds. And I also want you to go ahead and make a perception check for me. Fuck. We're playing a lot of D&D. That is a 17 plus 3, 20.

So off in the distance to your right, you see a shining onyx palace. Not too far away, but definitely not as close as everything is to you. You know, the rock formation, the hellhounds, all of that. And you would hazard a guess that this is Gray's home. In front of the main entrance, you see a portal. And this portal is far more defined and long. larger than the one you have come through or the one you've seen gray come through. And through it, you can see Nua.

And with a 20, you are able to determine that it looks like the God's sarcasm. And in the middle of the portal, you can just make out a silhouette. Can I tell who's silhouette? You cannot. And before you're able to dwell on this too much longer, the fearbug reaches you and hot on his heels about maybe 10 yards behind are the hellhounds. Keep running? It seems like a pretty good plan.

Did you open the other portal? Oh, I mean, am I close enough? Yes, you have reached the rock formation. You can open the portal. Yeah, I open the fucking portal. Fitzroy, you scramble up the rock formation. You pass through the portal. And behind you is jackal moving definitely across the rocks.

and into the portal. You turn to see the fearbug struggling to mount the rocks with Argo over his shoulders. He's close, very close. You reach out a hand to help him, and the three of you stumble and land on the ground as a hellhound leaps through the portal, its jaws open, ready to strike. As a sword whistles through the air, lopping off the hellhound's head and splattering you with Iker. hand reaches down to help you from the floor. Whose hand? Above you stands Hieronymus Wigginstaff. A little unsteady, but ready for battle.

You really. Threw us a bone there. And that's the first of what it's going to be. A lot of dog-based jokes. Oh, I get it. I was a dog. And he hands. you all, some, you know, canteens of water and says, I know what traveling through the hell to mention can be like.

Not great. Unpleasant. I poop my pants a little. Yeah, this dude needs pants. Hey, we got some poison friends in there. Did you bring some sort of, you know, ointment? Dakota comes out helping Crabtree. Marie is with Mosh and Sabor is with Ramos.

And they make their way up towards Marie's headquarters through her to her office. I mean, we should definitely go there too. And you all follow. Yeah, because Mass Rearvog has been also poisoned and Argo just had a real bad trip. So you all make your way to her office. she takes some time and during which everyone is fairly quiet and lets her work and when she's done

she looks exhausted she has been working very hard but everyone is stabilized she has been able to make the poison reverse its course I go and just very subtly gestured to the one inch little scratch on my arm she puts a band-aid on it and that has an animated character on it. Which character? There's a Larry the Line. She puts a Larry the Line Band-Aid on it. Oh, fantastic.

And gives you a lollipop. And with you, Argo, it's a little more difficult. It takes a little more time and involves magic. And so you are definitely coming back around. The psychic damage is healing, but you are absolutely exhausted. And once everyone is stabilized and taken care of... Did I get a lollipop? Well, do you want a lollipop?

Were you a good boy? I thought maybe something citrus flavor. Were you a brave boy? I was a bird. No. But I kept poop in my pants. Beerbork had to carry me. I was very much a bad, not brave boy.

You get a consolation lollipop. It's actually bigger than the good boy lollipop. It's a BS. And it's lime flavored. And so everyone, one is now sitting as much in a circle as you can be while reclining in recovery beds and chairs and whatnot. And it's clear that they've all stuck around because things need to be discussed, but no one seems to know where to start.

First things first, Mr. Fearbolk, how are you feeling? How's your arm? It is fine, little things. tingley. You feel up to a swim yet? Oh, wait, I'm sorry, you have to wait one hour after being poisoned before you can swim. After being poisoned and traversing the Hell Dimension, they do say that. This is the greatest shame. I have not learned to swim.

Oh, yeah, that's fine. It's not really a skill that you need as long as you don't. Go near big bodies of water. This is how I felt until the opportunity was removed from me. Oh, man, next episode is two. going to be an hour long scene of Argo teaching the Fearbook how to swim. I would fucking watch it. And you will.

You'll be in like a beach chair having a Mai Tai. I make sure the door to the hospital here is closed and say, yeah, so that's basically what we're dealing with. I mean, we're learning on the ground too, sort of building the proverbial wagon beneath us as it rolls. But yeah, any questions? And they all kind of look at one another, and Mosh turns and looks at you, Fitzroy, and says,

what can we do to help? I mean, we were figuring we enlist 10 friends, and then you enlist 10 friends. It's a war pyramid. A sort of war pyramid, yes. I've never planned a war effort before. none of us have so um does anyone know how to do that do a war do a war good has anyone here ever won a war well no cool cool and good and perfect and good how long has it been since that night that

how long in the six months have we used you know let's say a week okay so not that long okay no not sure We're still pretty passionate. And Mosh and Jackal looked at each other and go, I mean, we could ask. Yeah, I think that maybe see if we can bring it in. Yeah? Okay. You're being very cryptic. Well, it's not a member of the unbroken chain,

but if it's planning a war you're doing, you're going to want to talk to Oz. to great and powerful? No. That was unavoidable, Travis. Yeah. Yeah. No. The war forged.

Asmondalia's. And you know Asamondalius is a professor here, as a teacher here. It is a war forged that teaches strategy. And that is for upper level heroes and villains. So you have not had a class with it to this point. I mean, that sounds pretty radical. Do you think that What were the

pronouns for it? Was it? In this And I'm not saying this is true Of all Warforged Across all Dungeons and Dragons But here in Nuwa War Forges identify as it Okay

So I mean we could ask it for its help Do you think it would Lend us Help? I mean It can be difficult, uh, it isn't always

hmm, easy to talk to. Uh, but, you know, it's, it's a good, it's a good war for it. It does a good job.

It's good at its job. Let's put it that way. If you can get it on it on your side, uh, it will be a huge help. Can I bring up a question? And I've been wondering this for quite a while. Is there any way possible that,

we can come up with some way to detect who is on gray's side. Because we already know, you know, we knew that he had a, you know, a mole. I assume he's got more moles. Is there any way to be able to tell if somebody is touched by a demon? What, you mean just some kind of magic spell that makes people tell the truth no matter what? What is this? That's bullshit. No, that's crazy.

There's no such thing. No such thing. How would you magic someone into telling the truth? That's ridiculous. Yeah, in some kind of zone or something, but no, that's impossible. All we have is our instincts and our insight, boy. Crabtree, could you artifice something that, you know, like a pair of sunglasses and if we look through them, they, you know, we could tell they were a monster? Well, yeah, we, I mean, we could make some glasses that see through illusion, but I don't think you're dealing with illusion here.

I think you're just dealing with, you know, corrupt individuals. Evil, yes. Um, we are a secret society. I can say we now, because I've been inducted. And, uh, well, we haven't done, Mosh says we haven't done. You're in, yeah, I mean, you're. Always Mosh. Am I right, everyone? I'm just saying it's not official.

Always with Mosh. Always. Um, I, I've been wrestling with something and I have, struggled to bring it up because frankly it is a fairly unheroic idea. But hey, technically speaking, I'm a villain. So I don't know that I want to go to war. And I don't know about the rest of you, but

it's not out of fear for myself, but out of the necessary cost that war entails. By which I mean dead people, lots of them. Lots of people don't. on a battlefield. Like, that's not my... Is that anyone's jam here? Because it's super not mine.

Everyone, you know, kind of is making eye contact with each other and is shaking their head, like, no, as kind of a direct opposition to what the unbroken chain is kind of all about. Okay, yes. I figured that that was the case. So, I mean,

we can keep up the pretenses of planning a war. or to, you know, snooker whatever other molds that Gray has at this facility. But what would you all think about just kind of rolling up on Gray while he's asleep and, like, stabbing him in the brain or something? Oh, that is so roguy. That, oh, yeah, I'm down for that. That's ass-assinating.

I just, it, that whole experience was quite bad. got poisoned and then there was a fowling of pants that I'm not going to sort of name names. Well, I could roll better than I could have a better wisdom. That is a problem we would for sure need to solve, but I'm pretty sure Gray showed us where like his house and everything is. So it just seems like a better plan to me than, you know, thousands of people dying on battlefields or whatever. And Hieronymus says, I am on board with this plan.

If we could rid existence of Gray, we would be doing a service no matter how we do it. But I'll tell you this, if Gray catches wind of this plan, he will not wait six months. He will launch whatever attack he has ready, and he will not. be going to war for sport at that point. He will be going to war for blood. That was scary. That was intense. Do not underestimate Gray.

No, I mean, he sneezed and nearly poisoned half of us to death. So I'm not underestimating Gray. But it seems like we stand just as good a chance of defeating him. him in my sort of suggested sneak into his bedroom and stab him in the brain plan, then we do on the field of battle, which will also prove much more costly. So, I mean, everyone here can keep a secret, right? Oh, God. This is not ideal.

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