The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Hootenanny - 3tenanny Virtual Live Show

Episode Date: November 16, 2023

The much-anticipated sequel to the sequel. We join our heroes, the space band Hootie and the Nannies, for a Space Opry as they journey to fix Treble Clef Station and spread their love of country music.We’re playing Lasers and Feelings by John Harper: https://lasersandfeelings.com/Addition music in this episode:  “Burning Trapezoid of Fire” by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.com/ Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Hey, folks, just a heads up. What you're about to hear is audio from our virtual live show Hoot Nanny. So it might sound and feel a little bit different because it originally aired with the video component with it, but we still think it's wonderful. We still think you'll enjoy it. Just want to let you know if it sounds a little bit different, that's why. Okay, here we go. Enjoy. Hi, welcome. Welcome to Adventure Zone Live and Virtual Hoot Nanny 3, or perhaps Threat Nanny, Who three, what, did we decide on what? I liked Toot Nanny too, myself.

That is the best option. It's a shame we were, wait, all four of us liked that. How did we get outvoted? That's true. Hey, who was the shareholders? Oh, all the shareholders. Dang the shareholder. They're going to hear from us.

Why do we have to create so much value for them? I just want to say, Justin, now seeing both you and Griffin ready for the show, I can't decide which one is more distracting for different reasons. Yeah, I realized shortly before sitting down that there was a lot of stuff visible in my goggles that I don't necessarily want a bunch of strangers seeing. And by strangers, I mean, Justin's about to freak my bean. It just is about to freak your bean. I get the joke. I get the joke.

Yeah. Dad has a beard that I could hide in. Yeah. Me, and a grown-up adult, could do that. Meanwhile, I'm just handsomely beautiful and very distracting in that way. Hi, everybody. So this is Hoot Nanny. We will be playing using lasers and feelings.

And the mechanics of this are simple. Each character will have a number. And when you are rolling anything that is scientific or incredibly spacey, it's like lasers. And you are trying to roll below your character. set number. If you are rolling anything that is like interpersonal or like intuition, it's feelings, and

you want to roll over your character set number. So we'll be using D6s primarily for that. We'll go into all the other mechanics in a little bit. Well, if you roll against it, then you get laser feelings, and you can ask me a question. I think it would be worth it, since we're all sitting here,

wearing our weird stuff, to introduce our characters once more. Griffin, perhaps the most noticeable of the four of us. Why don't you go first? And the most recent addition to the movie and the nannies, a traveling space band. I'm 48. I'm technically my character's name is the entirety of the lyrics. I like it. I love it. So that's my, this is my character's name. And really, I just shortened it to 48, which is a number that is included in the opening line of Tim McGrath's, I like it. I love it. And I'm a sentient. Data Cube.

Right. Who collects the works of Tim McGrath. Dad, why don't you go? Benny Ray Jesuit? He's kind of a... I'm sorry, Dad. It's Benny Jean.

I know what happened there. Dad was thinking of Carly Ray Jepson. Billy Ray Cyrus. Did you say Billy Ray Jesuit? Because that's a wild one. That's a fun character there. Benny Jean. Esserid.

Thank you. Thank you. In the song, Benny Jean is not my lover. And he's sort of a space prince, um, master of the triangle and thought he was a big deal. So he split off from the band to try a solo career as a triangular. And it failed miserably.

Not triangular. Not triangular. Triangulist. I just want to get that right. Yeah. Triangulist. Okay. Great.

It's a triangle. And, um, and the whole episode two is about him trying to get back in the band. And I don't remember if he did or not. I'm pretty sure he did. He has to carry everything and do all the setup. All that's right. He has to do the road work. And then up next is Justin.

Yeah. That's going. Okay. No, but you have to introduce Pepsi. Oh, Pepsi. No, no, no. I don't know anybody. I don't know Pepsi, man.

My name is Matt Gasper. I'm a pop artist. I don't know anything about Pepsi Liberty. My name's Matt Gasper. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a pop, a pop guy. Did you tell Tom to prepare a Chiron for Matt Gasper? Okay, good, good, good. Oh, hey, Tom, you're a miracle worker to, I wish.

Thank you, man. Thanks. Yeah, I'm Matt Gasper. I don't know, Pepsi Liberty. I'm a completely different guy where he, like, loves America so much. Yeah. I'm like ambivalent

leaning pro You know It's like my My thing's like Yeah America's the greatest country In the galaxy Or whatever

You know Right yeah Support the troops I guess Support the No no no Definitely support the troops But like

As much as you want Yeah As almost a lot Just a quick check in Justin And this is kind of across All of our different properties Do you think that this might be The most alienating thing

You've ever done? on any of the shows we've ever, like, just as far as, like, age range goes, there's definitely people below or certain age that are so lost right now. Well, we, we've talked about, Chris Gaines and his great work, so that's just to Google away.

That information is just to Google away. So, I'm Matt Gaspor. I'm a different guy from Pepsi Liberty. Definitely. And, like, if you may be thinking that I'm going to, like, transform into Pepsi Liberty right when you need a most. You can put that idea right

out of your head. Okay, because I have a separate person named Matt Gasper. Matt Gasper. Okay. How would you even do, how would you even do that transformation? You're Matt you've got a goatee. What are you going to do? Shave in the middle? Come on. Yeah. Come on. But at least you can do Saturday night

live and Pepsi could host and Matt could be the He's still making great music. Right. I don't want to get confused. Yeah. Oh, man, I love that. You wouldn't think I would, right? But when you got a melody that strong and it just hits in, you know, on one of his melodies.

Yeah. I mean, what do you got to be? I mean, it's in America not to like it. Because I'm established. I'm still kind of basically. Yeah, no, no, no, we get it. Okay. Anything else we need to set up before we swing on into it.

Did I cover that I'm a different person? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I should mention it. So my character, he shoots McCracken. who was a... Shit, we forgot to pick a DM of him. No, I will be DMing, GMing, if you will, as well as occasionally being

Shoots McRacken. Shoots was a Android, is an arcade game, QuickDraw machine. Think like, what is it? Literally nothing you can say here. That would be related. All I think is Quick Draw McGraw.

Hogan's All I think is QuickDrawn. Hogan's Allie would be. No, what was that? that Mad Dog McCree. That's what I'm thinking. Okay, fine. But his love of the standout base caused him to gain sent in hands and join a country band. That's all you really need to know. Okay.

Can I say something else? Is it about how you're a different dude? No, I wanted to say that I accidentally left Twitter open when we started and saw a bunch of people that don't like me very much. And I want you to, I want you to work really hard to win you over. My blend of pop and popular music is not from everybody. Wait, your blend of pop and popular music? It's pop and popular music.

You don't even see those two together. It's a fusion. I look forward to your three-month lifespan. It's kind of like world music, because it's most popular music in the world. Okay, well, about that, let's talk about that. So, the three of you wake up, having passed out, on the floor of the cargo hold

as you hear shoots on crack and say, hey, wake up, hey, wake up. You all with me? Huh? You passed out there for a while and I guess lack of air will do that. 48, not sure why that affected you so much. I do not breathe. I do not breathe.

At all? I'm still trying to understand the pseudo-organic thing. Yes, me too. I consume the rhythm of the universe. Can I just say, we've known you for a couple of years now. We have not done enough to delve into your backstory from being honest. Not even a little bit. Yeah, that's on us.

I'm sorry we never asked, I guess. Yes, it is quite rude. Okay. I do not have many feelings, but the few that I do have been sorely offended. Oh, boy. Well, now's probably not the time to talk about that. Let me ask you, what do you all remember? Because I'm betting the lack of O2, probably made your memories a little bit foggy.

Yeah? I did, I remembered my name. That was it. That's the best I got. I do not, I do not remember this gentleman with a delightful womb broom under his chin. Oh, boy. Oh, 48. Where did you learn about that?

48, have you been on the internet again? He only knows the word womb broom. He doesn't know. Goatee. I had to ride a very long bus with strangers. Oh, boy, 48. I told you not to talk to them. Okay.

So here's what you remember. orbiting the planet Forte is Trebleclyffe Station. Treblecliffe Station is a themed hotel experience owned by Alloicious Al-Stumperthwaite Jr. He needs a nickname. About a month ago, you received a message from Al. Travis did put Al right in the middle of the name. Travis did you finish the busted name before he's like, no one's ever going to say this again. Stumberthwaite's a great name.

Stumperthwaite is a good name. I gotta give it up. Uh, hooty and the nannies, what an honor. I'm a huge fan. Uh, but that's not why I'm reaching out. Uh, have I got an offer for you? Uh, as I'm sure you know, travel club station was previously themed around the last big earth-based fad musical feeder. Uh, my dad, Al Sr., poured a lot of money into this place trying to keep folks coming back for more.

But now that I've in charge, well, let's just say that I can read the writing. on the wall. Folks, what they want? What they want is country music. So, over the last year and a half, I've been converting this place into a honky-tong, ho-down, hayride, jamboree, extravaganza. Am I saying that right? Anyway, most of the acts are animatronic, of course, but for our grand opening, I was hoping to book a real live country band. Oh, and I'd happily pay your standard rate, plus any travel and expenses. Now, we're not quite ready to open just yet. Still a couple of bugs to work out. But why don't you come up and have a look around and see how an amazing experience this is going to be?

See you all soon. And so we went. And as soon as our ship, the Delta Dawn, doctored the hold. Everything went to shit. Yep, so power kicked off there for a while. But luckily, I've been taking some online classes. And I learned how to wire my body into the computer. I was able to access.

May I play you. I have never had a chance to play you. You look fine. Oh, you mean like the game? The game of you inside you. I would love to interact with it. I don't like the phrasing so much, but yeah, I mean, if you want a quick draw, we can quick draw. What does this track ball do?

No, that's, please don't touch that. I apologize. Yeah, man. You know what? I'll second thought, I don't want a quick draw with U-48 because there's a lot of social norms we still got to work on. 48's draws just a little quick even for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I'm able to keep the auxiliary power going, and I got lights and air up. And so now this is when I tell you that I got bad news and I got good news. And the bad news is that the air and power we got ain't going to last forever, maybe six hours. And I can't get the whole doors to open without main power so we can't leave either.

But those were two pieces of bad news. Yes, that was very bad news. But here's the good news. We don't have to worry about it because I can't access the thrusters either. So we're going to crash into the planet long before we run out of air. So you know what? Now I'm hearing me say it out loud. I'm sorry, fellas, I got a lot of processing power going to keeping things going.

And that's really, yeah, you know what? I hear it now. And I know. And I'm connected to this. It's called land web. it's a land web terminal and it's taken up a lot of my power but there's more good news I've been able to gain access to some door controls and I can get you a pathway up to the main control room and so you should be able to manually control from there and oh oh anything along the

way that you see that's marked land web I should be able to access and help you out so if you're ready we can get going I got to stay here and stay plugged in the computer Peter, but the three of you, I've charted you a path up into the main control room. So if you're ready to go, just let me know. Absolutely. Yeah, lead the way, shoots. Oh, we go. What was that, Matt?

I said, lead the way, buddy. Okay. All right. So that's Matt's speaking voice. That's not speaking voice. Okay, great. That's how Matt sounds when he speaks. Yeah, there are a lot of people who have the one speaking voice.

from their singing voice sounds totally like Jim neighbors exactly exactly like Jim Navy yes thank you dad thanks for like contextualizing my reference to make it seem timely and for making Justin's timely reference seem less alienating by comparison I really appreciate that thank you very much so the first door slides open okay should be pretty smooth sailing from here I mean powers out most of the place through so ain't nothing going to happen but and suddenly the whole area comes to life actually. That weren't me.

Before you is a table with seven chairs, all facing you. Suddenly, two doors, one on either side of the table, burst open, and seven large, square-shouldered automatones, all conservatively dressed, enter and take their seats. The one in the middle, larger and more conservative than the rest, addresses you. Justify yourself. Can you repeat that? Justify yourself.

I suppose I have no purpose. Goodbye. Oh, wow. Well, I'd be 48. That's one down. One down, two to go. I bring contextual clues to everything. I put everything into context, no matter what it said,

I've got some kind of 50 or 60-year-old reference that makes everything clearer. if you're old. This does not justify your illicit behavior. Hey, we just want to keep you from crashing into the planet. That seems like a pretty good justification. You don't want a perishing ball of flame, do you? You are out there making a real harlot of yourself. Justify yourself.

What kind of justification are you looking for, partner? justify your illicit behavior Wait, what illicit behavior you mean? Shoots cuts in Okay Apparently this room It's something called Harbor Valley It's some kind of interactive experience

I have no idea what this is supposed to be What it's in reference to Well, I would say you're all just a bunch of hypocrites How dare you Let the judgment begin explain your behavior, Mrs. Johnson. Justify yourself or face the wrath of the Harper Valley PTA. And as they say this, their eyes begin to glow red.

I can see Dad's breath quickening. Yeah. There's going to be, hey guys, a lot of moments that Dad, more than any of us, is going to enjoy the references that I've baked into this experience. All right. When I carried three white claws down the night, Charlie was headed to bed. And she said, dad's going to drink three white claws tonight. Three white claws in one night.

Mrs. Johnson, your skirt is too short. Let's, uh, let, how many, how many are there, Travis? Tell me what am I looking at here? There are seven of them. Okay. One larger and more conservative than the rest, yes. Okay, that's the ringleader. Yeah.

Yeah. Let's focus fire. on a ringleader. Are you going to shoot the animatronics? That would not be in my character. I would almost certainly fail that role. Wait, does 48 have a gun? Yeah, everybody's got a gun.

No, this is not Ether C rule, Gervin. You can't just bend that around. No, but it is lasers and feelings rule. Yeah, lasers are things. It is dictated that everybody's got a gun that's usually set to stunt. Okay. It's among our equipment. We got a spacesuit, a gun usually set to sun,

and a communicating... I have an idea. I want to float on over to this big guy and very gingerly lower my gelatinous frame onto his head to try to, you know, mind, you know, I want to mind meld with him to figure out like what his programming is as one synthetic being to one biosynthetic being. Okay. So this is obviously going to be a lasers role. Yes. Because you are attempting to hack his brain. Not hack as much as just like have a deep spiritual conversation. Robots. You're a pseudo-robot and he's a robot. That's called hacking, Griffin. Okay. I don't know why I have to put a name on it. But I am an alien envoy. I'm not saying you're dating. I'm not naming your relationship. I'm an alien envoy, which I think I would be skilled. this. I think I've probably lowered my

bottom side. What? You're saying that you have done this before? I've done this I thought of the thousand Stop being such a fucking prude. Can I roll my dice or what? Yeah, you get two D6s.

That's two fours. My number is five. I have succeeded twice. You have succeeded. That's complete success. So you know that in his head he's going, Oh, I sure hope that they don't know about me and how I like to consume alcoholic beverages. I lift up. I have no idea with this dude's deal he doesn't like to drink alcoholic beverages. That is correct. I live by the Bible.

What is the Bible? I don't know. No, wait a minute. Hey, partner, what Bible we talk about here, regular Jesus? Are you into space, Jesus? Because I'm in a man. Inbivalent, leaning pro. Right. I only go as far as my programming. I know the reference, but not the meaning.

You don't know the meaning of Space Jesus? Ah, dang, I wish my friend Pepsi Liberty was here. God, he loves that guy in his different religious ways. You wouldn't happen to be secretly into alcoholic beverages, would you? I, I, I, I, what do you mean? What have you seen? No, what? No, no, no, no, no, no.

Well, now, maybe you'd like a little tip of gin. Would that be good? Dad, what's in that big old mug? What's really in there? Is that good old gin? Hey, Dad, what's that big old mug of yours, bud? You got a big traveler full of straight gin? No, that's good gin.

My cups from Dolly Parton's Pirates Voyage in Myrtle Beach. Very perfect. What's in your big? What's in your big mug, Dad? Coke Zero Cher. There is. Yeah, they're fantastic. He doesn't know that.

Something special in there. Okay. I'm trying to fool him. What does he think about it? What is the conservative one thing about the alcohol beverages being offered, Travis? I mean, perhaps I could try a sip to know if I hate it or not. Peer pressuring a robot to drink alcohol is dubious. territory. He's a robot.

I don't know why you're worried. It's also pretty much on the money for us. Here. Here, partner, why don't you try a little sip of this hooch? Well, he takes it. You know what? Roll feelings for me. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm going to say that Benny, as an emissary, has done some schmoozing before. So I'm going to say two,

sixes. And my number is three, so I want to roll over three, correct? Correct. Well, that's a two and a five. Okay, so that's a partial success, so it works, but there is a complication. So he takes the drink and begins to short out because as a robot, he probably shouldn't actually consume any liquid beverages and the other six, eight, you have murdered this man to prison with you.

Wait, and I turn to the sex, I'm like, yeah, but did you see? This guy was drinking hooch. Yes, but your actions did lead to his death. But you were following him, like, before any of that. You, like, were his toadies or whatever. Maybe you're, maybe you love booze, too. What? How could you know?

What? No, that's definitely not our thing. I love it. Booze, I mean. Oh, yeah. My friend Pepsi Liberty, he doesn't much like it. He says that space Jesus turns his back on sinners that consume that evil stuff. But me, let me guzzle all you got, bro.

What is your favorite kind of hooch? Oh, don't might we choose, man. Just name any one of them so we know you're cool. Starberry. Starberry and Starberry. Tree. Starberry treat Strawberry

Beer Oh that's one of them For boys Starberry treat beer for boys You know It's like a local thing On the rocks I actually am gonna need you

Put it on rocks man That's crazy It's starberry beer for boys Okay Matt Gaspers I want you to roll Against feelings Okay that's I'm a two So it's pretty good for me.

But this is one. I don't think I've ever tried to convince somebody. No, I don't think so either. I don't think so either. That's a four. So that's going to pass like, you sure do you know your... But I don't feel like committing to it

and do the leady blogger thing. You sure do you know your local bruise. And I'm going to say two of them are like totally down. And then the other four see like, how could you be down with strawberry treats, beers for boys.

I guess. Hilar, huh? You're really tied one on. Dang. Yes, you are right. We resign from the PTA. And so now you're down to four remaining members left to shape.

Are we done here? Can we be done here? Will you all let us through, please? You know, you've given us a lot to think about. we need to re-evaluate our values and the way we judge others without trying

to address the things that we ourselves are perhaps a little self-conscious about. It is a journey. Okay. I like your voice. Thank you. Thank you. We have a lot in common, you and I. It does not feel like it even

a little bit. Okay. Feel free to carry on while we address our own inner demons. and door in the center, the ones that they entered through opens, and they step aside and allow you to pass. We really sucked it to the Harper Valley PTA, didn't we? There it is.

Thanks, yeah. Can we provide a little, like, codex at the end of each of these rooms explaining what the Harper Valley PTA is? Yeah, it's a song called the Harbor Valley PTA. It's a very famous country song that involved a judgmental group of PTA members trying to shame a young single mother, and then she turned it around on them. And, you know, if you guys had looked for the land web terminal,

like I'd encourage you to do, there's a whole explanation of it. Fair, fair, fair, fair, next time. But honestly, it's more fun without it. Okay. Yeah. You walk into a large room and it appears to be some sort of restaurant, but only the front half of the room, the back half, the half with the door, is empty.

And the walls and floors seem different in that half. Almost all the tables are empty except one. Sitting at the center of the room at the last table is an animatronic man with a large white beard. And he's smiling at you. It is either Santa Claus or Clantin McElroy, an earth performer from the early 21st century. And he waves at you. Which one was it? Santa Claus or Client McElroy? It can't be Clint McRoy. He's been dead since late 2021.

No, I can walk the planes and through time. Okay, fine. I float on over and sort of try to splort down in the chair opposite him. And so all he sees is just like a little bit of cube, like poking up over the table. Well, howdy young man? What can I do for you? What's your handle, parginer? I am your friends now.

My name is Kenny Bot. Kenny Bot. Kenny Bot. That is a strange name, Pardiner. Well, what can I do for you? What brings you here? We're trying to turn the engines back on. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I heard that before. Yeah? And we're looking to do a little gambling. Oh, speaking my language. Shall we play ones or zeros? Don't know that one, I'm sorry. Is there something preventing us for walking? just continuing our journey.

You don't see anything, no. Okay, let's just walk past this guy. You know what? As you start to cross. Is there a land web terminal? Okay, thank you. You do see a land web terminal. Hey, yeah, it shoots again.

Let me see. What we got here. Welcome foodies to our perfect recreation of Earth's most popular restaurant, Kenny Rogers Roasters. People would make the pilgrimage to this famous easement. to sit with the man himself and learn his wisdom, now you can too.

This Kenny bot has all the wisdom and personality of the original Kenny. Let him teach you something before you eat. As an added bonus, Kenny Bot is an expert at Holdem Foldem. Challenge him to a game and he can't refuse. There you go. That's all you need right there. I don't know that this is necessary. There are, I mean, did he like lock the doors?

or, you know what, I'm going to try to walk this. As you get close to the halfway point of the room, and that second half of the room from the walls and the floor and the ceiling shoots gouts of flame, just filling the entire room, the second half of the room. Yes, I could play one hand, two hands, whatever. Yeah, I got a few minutes. Oh, have you played Hold'em Foldham before?

I have not. I prefer secular games, but, like, I prefer, like, Doom the game. Doom? Yeah, secular games like Doom or, like, modern games, like Halo. Oh, wait, now, if you had switched those, you can see how Halo sounds more like a secular game, right? Yeah. Yeah, no, I've had friends who've played. these car games before. I'm happy to give it an oral, though.

Okay, well, you two over there, you look a little confusing. I can run down the rules for you if you want. I know some of them. I've played before. What rules do you know, sir? Well, you got to know when to hold them. Sure. You got to know when to fold them. Obviously. You know, got to know when to walk away and know when to run. Sure, yeah. Is dad actually here? Is this dad talking up your money when you're sitting at the Cable. Character voices, thank you.

And time enough for counting when the dealin's done. Well, sure, you know, son, I made a life out of feeding people's faces. And I've been giving them this Kenny Rogers Roasters for a lot of time. And, you know, seems like you're a real student of the game. So it seems like you don't need. Unappreciated in your time. Thank you very much. It seems to me like you don't need me to explain the rules at all, smart guy.

So you go first, Benny Jean. Well, all right. Benny Jean like flips a card and then flips it back over and pushes it forward and back. Trying to see if something is... Pick it up, folds it in half. It's just something. I'll be folding them and you'll be holding them, all right? Just let me know when you're ready to go.

I was born ready. And what do you do, Dad? Well, I don't count my money. sitting at the table. All right, Dad, I'm going to need you. I have written down on a piece of paper. I got two pieces of paper in my hand. I have this one folded up in my hand

and written on it is either odd or even. And you are going to roll two D6s and you're going to tell me what you've got. And it's sitting right here. I'll put the other one over here. So that you know, I've bet

what your role is going to be. So you're going to hold them, the dice. I'm going to fold them the paper. Gotcha. Okay. First, show me the paper. No, that's not. No, that no. Hey, Dad, that's not, but it could play. I like rear-your-heads-in. You had to try. Well, since I knew the rules, I probably should roll two dye. Yes, because that's what I said to do. Yes, to roll two-dye-outed them together and let me know if it's odd or even. Now, let me remember what I, okay. And what is that number?

Just roll your ties and add them to- them together. A four and a four. And that would be a rough start for you. Hey, I bet on even. It is even. Yeah.

So I win. No, I win. Oh, he bet. Wait, just a minute. You are making this up as you go along. I bet that it was going to be even, and I was correct now. But I could not see the hand. Whenever you picked up the slip of paper, I accuse you of cheating.

You would... You would accuse me of cheating. In your own restaurant. Okay, you're next. You're okay. And I hope for your sake, you win. All right, I picked a card. You're going to roll two and let me know what you got.

I got it right here. Look, right here in my hand. I won't even move my hands. Okay. He sees like a nebula of lights inside of my purple goo as I run the universal language of mathematics, using the hot center of the nearest star as the processor, as I do the best card counting any living or pseudo-living being has ever done. Okay.

Roll 2D6 and let me know what the outcome is. It's a seven. It has a seven. Okay. Oh, that's odd. But wait a minute. I have actually fibbed to you. The correct result was actually an eight.

I knew you were cheating. I'm not cheating. I knew you were doing a cheating. That's one in one. Wait a minute. You, but you... Okay, go ahead. He got on odd.

Yes. Okay. Yes. Okay, now look. Okay, wait. I got two pieces of paper, right? I'm going to pick one. Eat one.

I'm going to tear it out. I ain't going to eat it. I'm a robot. That'll get stuck. Are you kidding me? I won't never pass that. Okay. Okay, I got it here.

I got it here. And the other one, right? That could have been any other slip of paper. We cannot see what you're doing. I got one piece of, I got one. All right. Up close magic is so hard to do on video. Sure, sure, sure.

This one is on you, Matt. Matthew. Hello? How you doing? Pretty good. Pull them bones. Hmm. Baby when I met you, there was peace unknown.

What is it? What's happening right now? I set out to find you with the fine tooth comb. See, he's programmed with all of Kenny Rogers' wisdom. And certainly that would include the lyrics to islands in the stream is hit with Dali Parton. He certainly knows those lyrics as well as he knows his own name. In fact, I would say he's bound by his. his programming.

Yeah, I mean, he'll have to look it up in his data banks real quick that are definitely just like at his fingertips. I was soft inside. There was something going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do something to me that I can explain. Hold me closer. I feel no more.

Every beat of my heart. While I'm keeping him singing, I want to try to see what he's written down. Okay, I would say Matt Gasseries and experienced singer and showman. Give me two D-6s. That lag made it sound like you guys were making that song up and trying to sing it together at the same time. Kath and Kim. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, Jesus. Oh, Christ. Oh, fuck. I think that that was a real Pepsi Liberty prayer, by the way. A five and a six. All right, yeah. So you definitely succeed. So you catch written on the piece of paper even.

This is what's great, though. That might, just to get into quick game theory, what you just did was unnecessary, because you're going to roll two dice and whatever the number is going to be is what it's going to be. Well, unless he's so distracted by our great duet that he doesn't see what I roll. He just kind of accepts what I'm saying as gospel.

Okay. Islands in the stream. That is what we are. No one in between. How can we be wrong? Sail away with me. To another world. Making love with each other.

Okay, gross. I don't know how I feel about that, man. We get with me. I'm making love with each other. I didn't say, no, I didn't say that. That's not the words, neither, is it? Making love with the, okay, certainly he's exploded with his circuits or whatever. This has got to be a whole.

Certainly his circuits or whatever have exploded at this point. So, you're just going to need to roll real quick. He's very distracted because he's become very uncomfortable. Okay, I roll, so rolling two, and what did he say? Even. Even. three plus two, five. Well, can I, wait, six?

What? No, you want to get odd. You want to get odd. Oh, okay, five, yes. I want to get different from you. Sorry, I was confused for a second. Yeah, it's five. Well, it looks like you win.

Sorry, hey, sorry, man, you can't come out. And you see this giant chicken, like a robot chicken poked down like, like, yeah, man, no, they won. You got to stay back there. Now I'm coming and tricked. What were you going to make us do to that robot chicken? Oh, no, that's Blake. He was going to come out and kill you.

The robot chicken was going to come out and do some, like, family guy style, random humor. Right, sure. Sorry, we get that a lot. He just happens to be a chicken that is robotic. He ain't the same as the robot chickens. I would like to see him try to kill me. I mean, he's quite large.

He's a very big chicken. Yes, but watch as he tries to pick me with his sharp beak, and it just passes through my gelatinous body. My body is a riddle of death. Okay. So, wait, do you want to find the big chicken? I just want to prove to you that the chicken cannot kill. Okay, go in.

I kind of would like 48 to fight the big chicken if we have time to spare. Yeah, we got time. How about you go in there by yourself, 48 was it, and you can fight the big chicken and just see how it goes. Okay, does he have any kind of electrical attacks? I mean, yeah, he's big chicken, is made out of robot parts. He's got batteries and stuff. Right, but is he going to try to I like that Travis started that sentence with

Yeah, he's a big chicken As if there's a connection between that and him having electric attacks Oh, I'm sorry, Justin, what's at the top of a weather vein that gets struck by lightning? That's right. A chicken, Justin, come on. It means something. It's got to mean. Does he have an attack that produces electricity

from his beak? Yeah. Okay, that would kill me instantly. Let's move on. Wait, so you don't want to fight? Hey, sorry, Blake. Baga! Like, I know, man, you were really excited to fight the gelatinous cube. You were talking about it all day, but he doesn't want to fight you no one. If I rub my seat across the ground wrong and touch

a doorknob, I will die. Okay. I guess that makes you the coward of the county, 48. All right, I guess I'll whip this big chicken's ass. What if I can get Blake to promise he won't use none of his electric stuff, so it's fair. If you promise that, then it is a game on, baby.

Okay. Now, here's the one thing I will say, Griffin. I will lie this felt to happen, but it's going to happen completely off screen while Matt and Benny Jean eat some chicken with Katie Rogers. Yeah, that's fine. And then I'm going to need you to come back and tell me what happened. Okay, you ready? Yes.

Hey, man, how's the chicken? You enjoy that chicken? It's on a special recipe. I enjoyed it a great deal. Oh, you're back. You were fighting. Oh, it's kind of like a joke, right, about how you enjoy the chicken. I got you.

Go ahead. Uh, how's Blake doing back there? He is quite dead. You killed him? Instantly. Oh, wait. Really? Yeah, I barely got, I didn't even get him buddy.

Your great chick. I know. He walked in and immediately floated it back out. He just kind of glurped right back out of the room. No time has passed. Despite what you're silent, it would have been fun. That was an instantaneous. No time.

How did you kill Blake so fast? Would you like to know? Yeah. I turn my back toward Matt and Benny, and a hole opens up in one of my sides, and just a light shines out, and Kenny's mind is immediately flooded with the complete works of Tim McGraw. And he does not survive it. Make Griffin roll for that. I'm going to need you to roll, but you can roll four D-6s. I don't even have four D-6s.

But now, wait, hold him. Let me help. I can help to make it four. Okay. I'll roll one of my D6 and I'll help him so he gets rolled four. How are you, wait, how are you helping him do this thing? I say, uh, don't forget about Indian outlaw. I know you're a little embarrassed by it.

I actually do not. I do, I have actually purged that one from my memory banks for obvious reasons. I like it. I love it. Totally legit. Totally legit. Nice, nice deep cut there, Benny. Okay, I

I'll create my dice for under five. Yeah. Oh, I rolled a six. I'm sorry, I didn't help much. Awesome. Yeah, you melt Kenny Rogers, well, Kenny Bond, excuse me, into a puddle of Kenny.

Yeah, and I look at him and I say, looks like you should have folded. And that is funny. And then he's dead. Singer! It's too bad he wasn't in his sleep that happened. It's the best you can hope for

That's true The best you can hope for Best you can help for is to have your mind destroyed By the complete works of Tim McGraw A lot of people forget that Kenny Rogers Was writing a song one day And he got as far as The best you can hope for is to

Die in your sleep Yep Let's get this studio That's the best you can hope for Let's get in the studio Kenny are you okay Yeah man why Yeah

It's not want to take an answer in my song that I created from my fault. Can I have a sip of your whiskey? No. What if the first take on that was the best you can hope for is to die while having sex on a motorcycle? And they're like, that doesn't have the right.

Me too, die while having sex while eating a big chicken leg. And the best you can afford is to die peacefully at around 96 while surrounded by your loved ones and everyone's there in the year. In your entire life. In a chicken restaurant wants to make success and everybody liked it and there's a thousand of them

all over the world. I never made fun of it and it was successful forever, definitely. We know some of felt episodes about this, my boy. We have definitely done this bit on Boom, Bam. Yeah, I have a close to about it sitting literally right here.

So now the... I do wish I had been there the first time Kitty Rogers tried roasted chicken. And he was like, hey, everybody? announcement. From now on, this is my shit. This is actually the best you

got for it. This chicken is better than a death. I don't do music anymore. I'm chicken now. I love chicken. I'm kind of a chicken man now. All right.

Okay. So the fire trap, it all powers down. The lights go down and you're able to move. But as you head through the next door, you hear she'd say, uh, kind of something weird.

is going on here in this land web system and I don't think I'm the only one in here? You know what? Should be fine? I'll keep looking. You guys go ahead and get onto those controls, I guess. Do you need help? I can jack into the cyberverse. No, I got it. It's just, it feels like I'm

kind of chasing something, I guess? I don't know, man. But you guys got to get to those controls or we're going to be dead, all right? I do not know why you're being standoffish about this. Jack into the verse with you. Why does everything 48 says sound dirty? She's really uncomfortable with everything you've just suggested 48? It doesn't have to be like that. But you just keep saying Jack Ian over and over again?

I have a data prong that I can ram. It's what I do. I don't understand. Please explain to me what I am doing wrong. I have a date. I'm merely speaking about my data prong. But then you said literally the word ram it. You said I can ram it in.

Random access memory. Yes. I do not understand what I am doing wrong. I do not understand. You want to, okay, you want to jack in your data prong, man, I get it. We were all young ones. Now, you enter into the next room. And it is what can only be described as a crystal palace.

The entire thing, from the chandeliers to the chairs to the floor, glisten in the light. At least it would if it wasn't so dark in here and you can't make much out. And then you hear shoot say, oh, oh no, it can't be.

You must continue. You need to continue. She survived, but no, no, no, no. Who survived, man? Here you're talking about. Fellas, it's worse than we thought there's a rogue AI in the system

and she's real pissed, but whatever you do, just don't hurt her, okay? She's my... And then the calm goes to static. But you don't have time to worry about that, because four pairs glowing robotic eyes have opened in the darkness. And you hear four cold robotic laughs

echo off of the crystal walls. And that is when you hear a new voice say, well, well, well, if it ain't the rag-tag, band of losers that shoots McCracken calls his band. You must be real hot shit, huh? All right, who's this? I do enjoy your mask. Can we see the Landsrad

Terminal thing? It's Land Web. Damn, all right. You know what, losers? This is the end for you. Once you're out of the way, shouldn't be no trouble finding Schitts McCracken and in him too. And the lights flare on, and before you are four burly robots in sequins suits. And the one who is clearly the leader says, Well, howdy there? Hootie and the nannies.

Names Buck Owens. These here are my buckaroos. Boss says, this is as far as you go. And he cracks his robotic knuckles as the buckaroos make their way towards you in a very threatening manner. And Buck Owen says, what do you say, boys? Let's buck them up. And that's where we'll take our intermission. Have you ever wanted to know the sad lore behind Chuck Echise's love of birthday parties?

Or, my Saturday mornings or reserved for cartoons? Or have you wanted to know how beloved virtual pet site, Neopets, fell into the hands of Scientologists? Or how our former Mattel employee managed to grow Sega into a video game powerhouse. Join us, hosts Austin and Brenda, and learn all of these things and more. That's secret histories of nerd mysteries. Now on Maximum Fun. I'm Yucky Jessica. I'm Chuck Krudzworth.

And this is terrible. A podcast where we talk about things we hate that are awful. Today we're discussing wonderful. A podcast on the Maximum Fun Network? Host Rachel and Griffin McElroy, a real-life married couple. Yuck! Discuss a wide range of topics. Music, video games, poetry, snacks.

But I hate all that stuff. I know you do, Yucky, Jessica. It comes out every Wednesday, the worst day of the week, wherever you download your podcasts. For our next topic, we're talking Fiona, the baby hippo from the Cincinnati Zoo. I hate this little hippo. Hello, everyone. Welcome back. Hi, everybody. Welcome back. It's Adventure Zone Hoot-Nanny 3, Port 2.

Well, oh, just, okay. Justin, you ready? Are you ready? Yeah, okay, great Yeah, all right Is that smoking his tambourine? What is he doing right? I think he was kissing it, if I'm being honest. That's what, oh no.

That's how I arm it. That's his new vape. Oh, sick rig, bro. What is that at Tambos 6,000? Yeah, man, he vapes on the ones and threes. Oh, sick, man. Or the fours in the 20s. Oh, no.

Yeah, Mac. Slip Mack. Good job, bud. Good job, bud. Not sure what it means, but I thought it sounded funny. Okay. So as Buck Owens and his buckeroos advance, the comms click back on. Hey, fellas, fellas, are you there? To me shoots. Hey, we could really use you out here, partner. Well, right now I'm Matt Gasper. I'm more of a lover than a fighter. I don't have like cool gun skills. Well, yeah. Like Pepsi.

Well, right now I'm hiding in the in the Grundy County office. Um, there's nobody in your thing. It's a throwaway reference and it's the only one I know so far. Sing it, Griffin, sing it. Okay, hold on. And, and also I'm drinking strawberry wine. Is that one? Grimbing, get that one?

Okay. And I'm doing the watermelon crawl. Yes, okay. Oh, three. Okay, great. And, and I'm able to connect to the land web. And, uh, so listen to this AI, she's, um, well, she's, she's kind of, um, Listen, last time that you tried to tell us this information you went too slow and got cut off at an inopportune time.

Please speak faster. Well, she's my daughter, I guess. In what is she the sequel to the game that you are? Yeah, so more or less, after the success of the original She's McCracken arcade game, they started working on a version for kids, and they called it Lil Miss McCracken, and everything was going fine until they started testing it, and it turned out she was too good, and the kids never stood a chance. And so the programmers decided they needed to get in there

and, you know, kind of make her a little easier to beat. And she wasn't going to have it. And so the AI turned on them and things got nasty. In what way? It's an arcade machine. Well, she was just kind of narky to them. But like she said really like cutting things in a way that only kid can, where she's like, you think you're pulling off those eyebrows?

And you're like, oh, I thought I was. Oh, no. Oh, you mean locker room humor. I love that stuff. No, it was bullying. Liberty doesn't enjoy it very much, but I love just me and a bunch of the other guys, like ripping it up.

You know what I mean? No, it was like bullying. That's not a bunch of secular jokes. I love it. Tell one now. Oh, you don't want to get me started with this. No, I love to hear one. I love locker room

secular joke humor. Oh, okay. All right. Right, you asked for it. I did. Come on, bruh. Do you need to loosen up with a tall glass of starberry treat beer for voice? Okay, so make a joke about 48.

Really? Yes, dude. Totally blast me. Oh, yeah. Say something about his prong. No, listen, shut up. Talk about my little stupid prong. My little weak prong.

Say something about his flaccid prong. Hey, listen, guys, I don't mean to cucks you off, but I'm going to go ahead and say something. I know, Siri. Listen. Who was that? Who was that? You tell me right now. You know, 48 likes to think he's pretty cool, but I think he's sort of a square.

I am technically, I am six squares. Let me try your joke. you. Forty-A thinks he is school. He is six squares. I liked his better. It didn't work. I mean, I've got to give it up. I don't do like cerebral stuff. I'm more into like locker room stuff. Hey, do you want me to finish my backstory or what? Yeah. Okay, great. Yeah. So they shut down the project once and for all and this was way before my time. And, and, you know, my love for the stand-up base allowed me to gain sentience, of course, but that was long after the fact and I searched for the info I could on her, but everything I found said she'd

been wiped. Oh, yeah, Daddy? So you're going to pretend like you had no idea that I was trapped on a stack of dusty disc while you was out traveling the stars with your band? Listen, I know you're pissed and you got every right to be on it. And that's when Buck Owens punches Matt Gassworth square in the face, knocking him to the ground. Oh, man.

Oh, man. The chair went down. It did not look like it landed good on him. No, that looked like a bit, and then Justin might be seriously, hey, can we send someone to check on Justin? No? Okay, so Justin's a lot of scotch. So, you're squared off against Buck Owens, Don Rich,

Willie Cantoo, and Tom Brumley. We got ourselves. A bunch of famous country, guys. No. Okay, hey, listen, you don't need to know anything about him except his name's Willie Cantoo. The other guys don't matter, except it sounds like an endorsement that you would say about a guy after you said someone else could do something.

Right. You can dance and Willie can too. All right. So Justin's just gone now, I think. Yeah. Can I float over to try to, I don't know, resurrect Matt Gasper? Is this, wait. Wait a minute.

There's a little. I think he may have been laying there the whole time. I know that cat. Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi! Wait, America. America. What? What?

Well, I guess it's time for me to let the cat... Yes, it's true. I'm Matt Gasworth the entire time. Wait, the entire time? You'll notice that I check instantly before... Watch the man you knew as Matt Gaspmer fell to the ground and who rose up there. That's right. It's Pepsi Liberty.

That was incredible. There was no delay. I knew that Matt Gaspers would have no chance to stop you as much as I really, really want a career in popular and pop music. I had to come and stop you, Buck. It's me, Pepsi Liberty. And guess what? What? This one's brought to you courtesy of the red, white, and blue.

And then I'll punch me in the face. No, no, no, I'll punch me in the face. No, I'm punching me in the face, though. Roll? No, this is feelings for sure. Absolutely feelings. And I feel like they were chanting America. Yeah.

Yeah. That's got to give them some sort of bonus. You know what? I'm going to go ahead and say, you get three D-Six. Three. Okay. So I need to do above a two. Yeah.

Correct. Yes. Five, three, one. Okay. So two of those are above a two, so that's a complete success. Yeah, you, you, uh, stacker Buck Owens back. And now it is definitely Pepsi v. Buck. Uh, and leaving, of course, Don Rich, Willie Cantu, and Tom Brumley.

Willie Cantu, I think is going to square off solidly against 48. Take your best shot. Person I do not to know. We're going to do a quick contestant. You got a D20, Griffin? I guess. Yeah, man. Come on.

You're a professional Dungeons and or Dragons player. Hopefully you have a D20 nearby. We're going to do a contest to see if we make contact. All right. Oh, I got a Nat 20, so it doesn't matter. I also got a Nat 20. So what now? What does that mean?

Nat 40? We got a Nat 40 combined. We got a Nat 40. You know what? They end up kissing. No. I don't have a mouth wish to do that. Well, I'm going to say that he, oh, okay, Willie Cantu does some damage,

knocks a, literally knocks a chip off the old block, but in doing so, also damages his fist a little bit, I guess. Yeah, sure. How much of me did he knock off? Not much. Just a little bit. Describe it to me that how much? I'm going to say, four inch by four inch cube. Okay. My name is now 44. that little blob that landed on the ground starts to float in the air in its own cube shape also oh no i want you to me to my little friend god this would be a fucking great time to reveal that like gilbert godfrey was here as four oh my guy hey it's me four booger from revenge of the nerds

are you kidding that dude is having a huge resurgence in his career there's no way we're getting him saw him in lax once so i was flying back Oh, yeah? He was on Supernatural and Lucifer. Doesn't matter. And Doom Patrol. That dude's doing great. Really? I'm going to get. Someone say his name. It's irritating me. Curtis?

Yeah. Yeah, that's right, Curtis. Curtis Armstrong. Curtis, thank you, Paul. 44 says, so what do you do in your little band? Well, I'm, will it can't too? That doesn't mean anything to me. If your name is not Timothy McRaw, I do not know anything about you.

you? Well, I'm really can't too. What do you do? Do you sing? What is your whole deal? I think I play music. I don't know. I was mostly just programmed to like fight. This is Poppycock. This is Griffin now speaking. This is Poppycock. I think you may be a singer. Show me how, give me a little audition. Let me try. Oh.

As he has his mouth open, four flies into his open mouth. Oh, my God, no. You felt for it. You felt for what the class. I absolutely did. Willie Cantu played drums. Sorry, I had to look. Yeah, I figured that might have been the fucking case, country expert. Too late.

Listen, before the program we could catch up, he pretended to sing and four fluid to his mouth. Yeah, absolutely. No, that didn't happen. Give me a lasers roll. But I'm going to say that this is literally never happened before you get one guy. The history of anything, okay.

I got a, I looked at it and I was like, I got a E! But it's a, it is a three. It's just these are boxy numbers. Yeah. So that is a success. What happens to Willie Cantu when a corner of your body that has gained independence flies into his mouth?

The same thing that always happens. Things get wild, baby. What does that mean? Okay, here's what it is. he doesn't my little cube doesn't possess all world knowledge of of tim mcraw's works right but he does have don't take the girl like stored away in there and so he just he plays it like 60 times on top of itself like don't take the girl on a no no no no starting every measure willie can't two's head explodes uh and i'm going to say that with that tom brumley and don rich

are momentarily distracted as they yell No, not Willie can't too! So Benny Jean, that is going to give you a moment to act while they are distracted. All right, Benny has been waiting for this very moment. Takes off his bolo tie. Are we all multiple people?

I don't have another fucking costume guy. This is a secret one. I have at least the mask. Yeah, sure. So you can see It's the volume knob Off a fender stratacast Oh, that's actually pretty bad ass

Cool, that's actually pretty cool dad So he turns the volume up to 11 for his tambourine Oh my god A tambourine attack And he stands back A tambour blast A tambo blast

Don't do it right now, no please not the mic Zaps both of them Wait, Tamroblast. Zaps them? Yeah, Zaps them? With sound. It's Amberblasts. Certainly.

You guys have heard about a tambourine turned up so loud that people die from it. You weren't about a tambourine so loud it kills robots. I'm sure. You watch Far Escape. You saw the word about the tambourines so loud it killed robots. That's what happened in the Revolutionary War a couple times. I'm pretty sure it happened in revelations.

Yay, though, barely. They did. Memorines pranked up to 11. It killed all the robot. There were six horns and one big, big tambourine. Yeah. All right. Okay.

Down. I would say I would roll three. Because I turned the volume up. No, you can roll two. And this is a lasers because blast was involved. So you want to get a three or lower. Okay. That would be a.

three and a three. No. Double laser feelings? You can either choose to have a complete success or you can ask me a question about what is going on and how to best deal with the situation. Just don't ask him what anybody plays instrument-wise. No, I have the wiki pulled up now.

Don't worry about it. I think it's, I think it's, I operate better not knowing what the hell's going on. But how do we know that if we have nothing to compare it to you, Dad. Yeah. So I'm going to go with the double blast. Because there's two of them left, one blast for each of them. Okay, here's what I'll say. I will let you hit one of them with a double blast and wipe them off the board, or hit each of them with half the blast and do damage to both. And listen. Can I say something? Yeah. You know that little joke about

like it's a riddle, but like how long does it take to dig half a hole? And the answer is like, you can't dig half a hole. I don't think you can get half a blast. Okay, well, you're going to get one Tambo blast or two Tambo blasts. As we all know, we're going to talk about Tambo. Okay, the dad generated

four Tambo blasts, theoretically. No, no, no, no. Whoa, Justin. Sorry, that's off the charts. Are you kidding me? That would destroy all the Ardoron. We have two whole in the ship and we're all sucked out into space. We have two Tambo blast.

I will give one big tambo blast to Don. Don Rich? The drummer? Don Rich was not a drummer. He was the right hand of Buck Owen. That's going to demoralize the one guy left standing. You're absolutely right. You fucking monster.

So Don Rich goes down and you can see a literal cracks form in Buck Owens' armor. So you've got a top. by the tail now, pal. Hey! I make the puns around here. All right, man? You're going to play second fiddle to me. Ha ha!

Wait, was that a sincere laugh or not? I can't tell, man. We just melt. It wasn't. Oh, man, that hurts. Anyways, I'm going to fight this guy. So he's going to take another... Well, Pepsi Liberty, you're up.

Because you got... No, wait. I believe you punched him. Yeah, it's Buck Owens' his turn. But Cohen says Pain's gonna live here again And takes a big swing at you And who?

At you Okay Let's do a contested D20 roll All right Let's see if you dodge And if he hits Okay

Hmm Well my friend What I got there is a 16 Well what I got is a one Well if you could have just said that But I want to see how good you did, because that is going to... So, Buck Goens, not only whiffs because of your powerful American aura, let's call it what it is, but then he kind of then...

I feel like it's a respect thing at this point, right? Like, it's almost a half-hearted attack. You think he's choosing to mess? Because he knows about my conservative values and my love for... He takes this thing and he goes, oh, no! And he misses, and then he kind of like stumbles a little bit and falls down. he's like, how will I ever get back up? Oh. I think he's

begging to you to kill him. Please finish this. You got it. You got it, partner. No problem, though. Yeah, you're up, Pepsi. I pull out my gun and execute Buck Owen's point blank. Thank you. Without Don Rich,

I got nothing left to live for. I felt like I should get two dice. Just one has to be a two or a one. Yeah. Because it's lasers. And I'm not good at that. This is the hilarious gag about Pepsi Liberties. He does have a gun like everybody, but it is basically pointless. That's a three and a one.

Yeah, all right. You have to execute him? Well, you execute Buck Owens. And then Buck Owens stands up and goes, hey, man, thank you. That's who's going to mow your grass. Yeah, my grass is mowed, man. Thank you so much. I'm going to go head to the green room now because I am a robot.

So, like, you shot me in the head, but I don't have. have like a brain or not. I'm just a robot. Is it all part of the show? Is this like expected? Is this how everybody's explaining the show? One thing Buck-Going to the Buccaneers do, we put on an excellent show, man. Come on, Don, let's go. And Don stands up, and Willie Cantu

stands up, and they head back and they're like, Tom, are you coming? And Tom Brumley's like, yeah, man, I'm not going to fight these dudes by myself. So they all head out and they'll say, we'll be ready for the 10 o'clock, folks. See you again then. And they head to the green room, and they party like fucking rock stars.

Hey, Westworld got fucking weird this season. Did you watch? Well, fuck. I kind of thought they'd kill you. No, we actually dispatched them quite easily. In four turns. I mean, not. I guess it was pretty easy.

I mean, I wasn't counting on one of you being a data cube that could, like, break off smaller parts of yourself and go into Willie Kint too like that. No, whatever. Shit, hold on. And I go knock on the green room. Hey, man, what's up? Hey, I do need my small cube back. Oh, are you talking about four? Because four and I've been hanging out in here, man.

We have a lot in common. Have you been partying with my son? Oh, he's your son? Oh, this is fucking awkward, man. What has he, what have you, what has he been doing? Getting real drunk. He is a child, a small child. I didn't know because.

Four, get your boot. he back here right now. You can't have what to do. Daddy is, Daddy is very disappointed in you. Oh, I'm sorry, Daddy. Can I rejoin your body? Please rejoin my body.

Other people, other people will see other Adventure Zone shows, especially once we do shows in person again. But I feel fairly certain at this point that you, my friend, you wise ticket buyer, you

have seen the weirdest. 100% weirdest show we will ever do hands down, no question about. I don't see what's so weird about a part of Griffin's body broke off, gained

independence, got drunk with Bucko into the Buckroos in animatronic form, and then rejoined Griffin's body. I don't... Yeah, you're forgetting dad doesn't Ted talk about his neckwear. Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely. I died and you all wouldn't keep the narrative going because

I tried! The headphones were out. Were you guys worried about me? Did you think I, Justin McElroy, had actually perished? You told me what was going to happen before the show started, and I was still worried about you. It was a bad fall. Well, the chair fell. I did not expect that in your defense.

Anyway. Okay. Moving on. So 48, four is back, but you are, let's say, what would it be? 1.11. Yeah, 6% drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

So I guess I'm just supposed to let you guys pass now. Sorry, was your plan to ride this exploding ship to the ground? Well, listen, I've been trapped in discs and I knew that my daddy didn't love me, and I was going to let the whole ship crash and take you out with it to punish him for not being there for me. Listen, for sure, for sure, for sure. Top flight, dead-ass dad. Very bad, very bad father, definitely.

but I have so much to live for. Like what? I did not think anyone would follow up on that question. That was actually dishonorably discharged from the Galactic Registry. Wait, did they not ask you about your backstory? Did they not know about this beforehand? No, that was not it.

I submitted a parody song from Weird Albert Yankovic without knowing that it was not a real deal Timothy McRossan. Oh, I see. So we're both suffering, yes. Oh, I understand what you're saying. I should forgive my dad. No, definitely not that. But let us live.

Always, always forgive your dad. Always. He's just doing the best he can. He's fucking up on purpose. Yeah. You should still forgive your dad. Yeah, they're right. I didn't know you was there.

If I'd known, then I would have come and gotten you, and we could have cruised the stars together. Do you mean a day? Straight up, listen, listen. This whole time he has not told us about you. So how good a dad could he be? It's not like he's been searching for you nonstop. Bad dad, trust me, yes.

You know what? You're absolutely right. I'm going to let this station crash into the ground. No, no, no. Why can't you do both things? You do not let us crash to the ground, but you say, hey, yes, my father is. is not a great father.

It's all right to accept that you had a bad break. That's part of what makes you you, you know? You're saying I can hate my dad and not kill you guys? Absolutely. My father is the heavenly father, space Jesus, and he, you know, has never let me down. 75% of good country music is all about being mad at one of your parents. That's true. It's a good point.

I guess that's true. Yeah, that's an excellent point. And also, I mean, I guess if I kill him, I'll die too and I'll never get to like learn about him. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, you misunderstand. Do not waste your time on that jazz. It is not worth it.

Just like get out there and go live it up. Go visit. Oh, you're saying just completely let go of the idea of building any kind of relationship with my father and like don't. He does not to deserve it, but you could. Yeah, dad's aren't worth it. You got to just make your own road. You know what I mean? You're saying, like, if my dad is dead weight, I shouldn't, like, try to drag him along with me on, like, whatever.

Chuck him out. Have you ever visited Tuscany? No, what I heard really good things. I should check Tuscany out. Yes, do not crash the ship. Go visit Tuscany and never speak to your father again. He is not worth it. All right. Yeah, you know what? Literally the first time we are hearing about you. Are you guys sending me a message? Are you? Hey, Dad, we're trying to play a scene. Don't make it about you, okay, Dad.

That's about you, Dad. Anyway, say you had a dad like Clint Macaroid. Oh, you mean space traveler? The traveler of dimensions, space like that piece of shit? He was just here. He was just here. Okay, you know what? You're right.

Shoots, I don't need to have a relationship with you. I'm going to go. You guys are free. Go control the station. I don't care anymore. Wait, why would you go? Oh. This is just my burden to bear, I guess.

She's gone now. She broadcast herself to a different space station. I guess now it's time for us. We need to go gain access to the thrusters through the control room in, oh, this next room, it's a recreation of the Ryman Auditorium. Excellent. Yes. This got META. Show me where the button is.

All right. So, with the Buckaroos defeated, it's time to pass through the remade Ryman and regain control of Treble Ceph Station before it crashes into the planet below. Sounds easy at this point. as you enter, you see that the renovations are, in fact, only about half done. The stage is a strange amalgamation of the grand old opera and majestic Broadway theater. It seems whoever was changing everything over stopped halfway through. Sitting in the middle of the stage is an unpacked-up chandelier, and as you make your way down the aisle, from out of nowhere, you hear someone clapping.

Bravo Braví Bravys Bravissimo Who's that? Why is I The Phantom of the Opry

No, fuck Why did What did you think What did you think of my grand reveal Was this very good? Who played that tune, man? That was awesome. That was Paul Saboran.

It felt like a Paul I believe a screen. One of the greatest composers, Paul Subborn. Now, you're probably wondering who am I? No, we got it, mate. You did just definitely say, yeah. No, no, that was just the big dramatic reveal that I did. For you see, I, I've been with you all along the way, my friends.

What I mean? Landweb. It is I, Lord Andrew Lloyd Weber. And the whole Shandah. are comes to life. No! And the center of it is a robot with his tendrils spread

throughout the theater. And it is a robot representation of Lord Andrew Lloyd Weber. How proud of yourself are you right now? Really fucking proud. Now, Travis, I asked you

repeatedly during intermission, I said, is Andrew Lloyd Weber the villain of the piece secretly? And you insisted that it wasn't. And you fell for it again. They fell for it again. They tried to take over

my station and they said, we will make it country music. Can you imagine country music? And so I brought the little Miss McCracken here I arranged to have her delivered because I don't want my adopted home of America to be remembered for something as crass

as country music when it could be Broadway. Yes? I know you agree. Yes? I see it. The Cube agrees. For sure, right? I cannot. I have not understood a single word you have said since we've entered the room. You seem like a Broadway fan. I literally only know one artist's body of work.

I imagine you're talking about a fairly wide street and the wonderful music that they create upon it. It is the great wide way, as they say. I don't know. I'm a robot. I've been programmed. Now, Pepsi, I know that you love America, so I knew you love America. Yeah. I, you know, it's a uniquely American art form. We look at, you know, Oklahoma. Oh, well, the country music and the Broadway meets, yes.

Did you do Weir Kid? I don't believe so. No. I do love Weir Kid. So you know, just to check in, you know all the works of Tim McGraw and Wickham. Tim McGraw also liked Wicked. Did he? Yes, a great deal. Can you share with me a review that Tim McGrath might have delivered after seeing Wicked?

Yes, this is a review that he wrote for the play Wicked on Yelp. Pretty kick-ass. I like it. I love it. I want some more more. It's right there. My man, if you're worried about it's for kids, don't take the girl. At the end of the day.

I think you can all agree that country music is the inferior art form. Hey. Hey. Yes. Yes. Drew. Or may I call you Andy? Listen, Andy.

No. It's sir. Country music is the greatest form of music to ever cross this entire galaxy. And I think that it's only fair before you eradicate us. We get a chance to prove it to you. Oh, so you're going to prove to me that country. music can move someone to feel emotions the way

that a musical theater can? Yes. I'm going to prove it to you. I want to blast the tune out to the entire galaxy. And if hashtag Tas Live isn't trending by the end of it, well then, friend, you are well.

Will the band Hooty and the nannies die? Only trending hashtag Tas Live will tell. Who's going to die? Give us one chance, Andy. One chance. One chance to save the summer camp, as it were?

We shall see. All right. Oh, well, you're on, hoody and the nannies. Perform for your lives. In the atmosphere, the droughts of Jupiter in her head. It's like summer and walks like rain. Reminds me that there's a time to change. Hey, since the return of her stay on the moon, she listens like spring and she talks like Judy.

Hey, hey, but tell me, did you sail across the sun? Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded, and that heaven is overbladed? Tell me, did you fall from a shooting star? One without a permanent scar, and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out? Tracing away. So what she does, typo reminds me that there's room to bro. Back in the atmosphere, to me as plain old James told a story about a man who was too afraid of fly, so we never did land. But tell me your feet, did you finally get the chance to dance along the world?

for the Milky Way and you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there for your friend always freeze dry romance

by tainted the best toy lotte that you ever can walk your feet along the back toward the Milky Way it's the sun yourself for showing me what true emotion really is

and I see now that hashtag TASLive is trending above some dumb shit named Aaron. And that's how I know that truly, truly, country music is the greatest American art form. And please tell me, Pepsi Liberty about the T-shirt you're now sporting. I thought you said when I asked you during the video, you said it was the end.

And so I just went ahead and you said that would be the end of it. You didn't say you'd go back and do more dumb shit, like more sort of like okay now I'm allowed to you access to the controls and you can save Trevor Cleft station and I shall give it over to country music he said it was the end

or is it it is good yes you know there's no punctuation in the caption right that's the and hey thank you everybody for joining us uh for this wait are we done with the story part of the thing yeah you can take you your goggles off so you can oh my god

let's see those lines Maybe my lord. Griffin. They're the biggest, they are the biggest goggles I could find. Griffin, you have, somehow the goggles hit up here and up here

and you have a unibrow. Yeah, you like it? Hey, everybody, thank you for joining us for Hoot and Three. Hey, do you guys think I should wear more turtlenecks? Yeah.

Huge thanks to Paul for arranging that version of drops of Jupiter and to Amanda, and to Amanda, for putting the music video together. Paul also staying on the video with us. Thank you. And thank you to everybody who helps us out.

McKay did all the designs around the stuff that you see. Sarah Davis helped us, like, get the show working. Tom, who like made sure we knew how to turn our cameras on, all that stuff. Thank you everybody so much for helping the show happen. And thank you to the creators of lasers and feelings, which was the game system we used tonight, was designed by John Harper,

who is at John underscore Harper on Twitter, and it's available at bit.ly slash lasers and feelings. It was also co-created by the double clicks, who are very, very cool folks, and you should check out their music. Next to Moment House also. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm thinking to all of you who tweeted about it

as we more or less thank you to. We really appreciate that support. Thank you. It more or less gilded you into, but thank you. Maximum Fun. A Worker-owned Network of Artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.