The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Hootenanny - 5tenanny LIVE at NYCC

Episode Date: November 23, 2023

After 3tenanny comes . . . 5tenanny? Special Guest Aabriya Iyengar steps in at New York Comic-Con to join Hootie and the Nannies as they search the galaxy for the legendary artifact: The Garth Books.��We’re playing Lasers and Feelings by John Harper: https://lasersandfeelings.com/ Addition music in this episode: "Burning Trapezoid of Fire" by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.com/. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Howdy. Hi, everybody. Hello, New York Comic-Con. So it didn't hit me until prepping for this one, that only the first episode of Hootnanny was ever, like, fully published. Then the second one was a bonus for MaxFun members. The third one was a virtual live show. And the fourth one, we did a...

system basically used jingo and it was so very visual that it made no sense to publish it. So we're back. With Hoot Nanny 5. Five a Nanny. So basically, in case you don't know about Houtanani, Houtanani. Are we going to get to introduce ourselves? Yeah, in just a second. I'm frothing at the mouth over here.

Can't wait. We're traveling space bands in the year, what was it? You're like 20. Just say a high number. No one here knows. None of these episodes have ever been published. In the year 3000. We're a country band from Earth.

And that's really all you need to know. We're all hooty and the nannies. Thank you so much. I play a quick draw arcade game robot, what gained sentience because of his love for the stand-up base, named Schutz McCracken. Thank you, Schutz. I am tonight playing the role of 48.

Thank you so much. I'm a sentient semi-gilatness data cube that possesses the complete works of Tim McGrath on my, on my bio drive. Technically, my name is the full lyrics to the song, I like it, I love it. But it starts with him saying 48, so that's the name of me. It starts with him saying just 48. Well, the first minute is him naming all of his favorite numbers. Yeah.

So it's like 48. 15, 11. 19-A and 7. It's sort of like that. I love that. Yeah. I've never heard any Tim McGrath, so I believe that. Hey, Abria? You're not missing out.

Cool. Hey. I'm thematically wrong for this episode. Hey, wait, but before Abrea introduces her character, let's hear her for Abrea. She flew out to do this show. Yeah, Icarly, gentlemen. A true hero. Holds your applause.

I will not be referred to you as Abrea tonight. I am Clint. Tonight I am your dad. This is our dad. Then we'll give you the same note we always give dad. Make sure you really hit that in there is so important. Clint. Clint McRoy.

Got a number of times we've had to give them that in. Clint McElroy. Dad was, sadly, too gassy for jokes. That's what he told us. He said, boys, I'm too gassy to do jokes, guys. They won't let me on the ding-tank plane. Yeah. Where I'm going to fart it all up?

Okay, introduce your character, Hi, I'm going to be playing Little Miss McCracken, your daughter. That's right. From an unreleased episode. It was just a virtual live show. Okay. So the three of you that will get this reference, I'm sorry. I didn't really finish listening to the lead in.

This is going to kick ass. Yes. I'm going to make a lot of new fun choices in this space. I love that. All right. And Justin. well my name is Pepsi Liberty I'm a country music icon that spends most of eternity

frozen deep in eyes but when America needs him the most I'm summon back to life and brother she needs me more than ever right now I am also deeply deeply conservative yeah but just in space politics you'll see all right so it's a Oh, I love Jesus.

I was not about the character. That's, okay. Oh, yeah. That's just Justin's informing you all about the progress of his walk. The big twist. So, it is a rare off day for Hootie and the Nannies. You guys have been touring nonstop for months.

You're now on, it's a travel day between planets. And so mostly it's just been pretty relaxed. How do you relax on the ship? Vap. 48 may be a semi-gilatinous data cube, but he likes to vape a lot. Okay. He's really enthusiastic about it.

Like with tricks and everything? His two big things I would say is Tim McGraw and vaping. Okay. Interesting. So does the vapes just sort of like feel, like do you just become more opaque? How does this work? He does it in private,

and he can't see himself. Okay. Well, that kind of ruins what I was going to do. do, which was just watch you. No, it's... All right, who's holding? I know at least half of you have secret vapes in your pockets right now.

All right, how does... Get them. How does Lil Miss McGrackin, aka Missy, relax on the ship? I think Missy is just sort of noodling with some new tune ideas that she's got on her keytar. Hell yeah.

Yeah, like that a lot. That's so cool. Yeah. Traditional country music instrument. guitar. I love that. I told you I did not prepare for this. Excellent. And what about you, Pepsi?

Well, brother, I tell you, I find that I can't even fall asleep anymore unless I'm colder than the heart of bills above. So I decided to try to take a nap and just crank that old AC up to maximum. And then I lay just as still as that sweet silent night where our Lord Jesus was born. I try to whisk myself back to the cryo chamber just to get at 40 wings. Yeah. brother most nights I'm lucky to get 25 I gotta be honest

And of course your percussionist Benny Jain Ezra is deeply asleep Just so asleep So so so asleep Oh he's a deep sleeper that one is And Shootson Crack and is on the bridge practicing his quick draw course

Wait are you going to be shoots McCrack Someone needs to DM Oh wait what? Oh no I'll do it Okay yeah Thank God No don't don't you

and he's practicing his quick draw when they get the signal that they're being hailed, the ship is being hailed. So he lets you all know, hey, come up to the bridge. It looks like we're getting hail. I'll patch him in,

and he goes over to the console to patch him in, and a bolt of energy shoots through his body, and he falls to the ground. Who shoots? Yeah. Did he die? No.

I check his pulse. He's a robot. Should be, Pretty fucking easy then, Travis. You can feel his oil still moving around. Don't touch my daddy like that. It's okay. His oil is still

moving. What's wrong? You've heard me speak so many times in confidence. I'm crying. How could you forget? This is what I stand like. No, I'm okay.

I'm just kind of locked down. I'll get him an oil can. And you hear outside the ship, right? But mostly you can hear, it's like, your ship begins to vibrate with this low bass thrum. And at first it sounds just like one long sustained noise, but then you realize

it's more of a pulse, and it sounds like, bo-to-do-doo-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-boh-d-d-boh-d-ppong. We need to activate the self-destrupt sequence. job, Bar with the bar to bang to bang, Biggie, biggie, fire all weapons.

Yeah, I'm going to immediately slam every button on the panel. Your console has been shut down. Oh, no. I'm going to hack it. I must destroy Kim Rock before he could spread his virulence. It's too late.

On screen appears an old, old, grizzled, old man. And he looks to be mostly a cyborg at this point. Very little human remains. and you know that this is, well, he introduces himself. Please.

My name's old man. And this, of course, is my partner in crime, my first mate, Roby Keith. And Roby Keith, who is, of course, robotic Toby Keith. Okay, I thought it was like a Scooby-Doo situation. No, no, no. So, you all know this, right? Oh, to my roaring, bro. Once Toby Keith conquered music and being a restaurateur.

Right. He then devoted his life to learning about cybernetics. Right. And he became a world-renowned Nobel Prize-winning roboticist. And he placed his own brain into a robot battery so you can live forever. Okay. Are we going to get the same backstory for Old Man Rock? He's a old man kid rock.

But he's cute Rock just late. But he said he's cybernetic. His partner of crime, Roby Keith, has provided a lot of parts to keep Old Man Rock alive for thousands of years. Okay, I like this story. Thank you. It's good. Continue. Are they deeply in love these two?

It's a will-they-wold-day scenario. Oh, boy. Listen, everyone else definitely knows that there's something there. Okay. But like they don't know? No, they just fuck for fun. It's not romantic. No.

It never is. Not the way they do it. No. Travis, you sold me already, bud. Stop selling. I'm on board. How much do you need? Let's get this pilot going.

It's the greenest light I got, pal. We've been looking for you, hooty and the nannies, but especially you, Pepsi Liberty. Oh, why is that? Whatever you all got going looks pretty messy. I'm not sure there'd be room for old Pepsi. I don't know what you mean. Ours is a partnership of convenience. Well, that's adorable, honestly.

You keep your eyes open and your heart even opener, and I think you're going to get something real special relationship. I can feel it brewing there with you, too. Listen, you've got to give me a lot of things. about, but that's not why I'm here. What do you want with me then? We found the location. We know where they are. Impossible.

I'm stunned speechless. Maybe we should have him tell us what you're talking about. Do you want to tell him, Pepsi? Oh, I'd love to. Go right ahead, Pepsi. I know you know what he's talking about for sure. Oh, boy, I'm not sure. Wait, what level classified are you?

The highest level. 12. So there's no problem there. Just go on ahead and tell us what he's got up his sleeve. Yeah, what 48 says. You know what, I'm not going to let you have this reveal. I'm taking it. We found the most powerful artifact in American country music history.

The Garth Books. Impossible. Possible. I heard they were only a lot. Legend. Well, legendarily awesome. Right, Roby Keith?

Yes. How do you like me now? Now that I am robot. I can't understand a thing. This dude is saying. It feels like he's making fun of you. It does. It does.

It was. Seems kind of like Travis Luke DeGryph said, That sounds fun. I want to do one. I want to do a robot voice. Let me try that joke. There's just one catch, Pepsi Liberty.

We're too much dirtbags to get the books. How do you mean? Well, with dirtbags is the problem. And only someone with a pure country heart who studied the teaching of Garth Brooks can find it. And we know it's your passion, Pepsi Liberty. Yeah, it was a long time ago.

That was a different, that was a different me, younger me. Well, we can't get to him, though. So, Hold on, you can be a full robot with a human brain and we haven't really dipped into time travel in the meaningful way. Okay, okay. We'll let them cook. All right.

We'll do it. Just tell me where and when they are. No, it's now. The time. There's still, there is now. And do you think I was born yesterday? And how? How are they doing?

They're fine. Now why? Why? Why are they? Because Garth Brooks wrote them down His greatest teachings to turn everybody Anybody who reads them into The next greatest American country singer.

Do you have any relics that are perhaps based more Around the works of Timothy McGraw? Who? Oh, brother. I have a lot to show you. May I envelop your head for 30 to 45 seconds? No.

Hey, you need to be more open. Kind of. Wait, you know I'm a kid rock, right? He's space conservative and he's trying to tell you to let love in, so I don't really know what the temperature. Yep, he lets me unveil up his head twice a week. That's how only why I can hear about new Jesus stuff. That's cool. Now listen.

Have you heard Exodus 4? I've heard Sexodus 420. Ooh. It's the book I wrote. Is it biblical in nature? Yeah. Okay, cool. You're a cool dude, Fortier.

Yes. Later, you can envelop my head. Yes. But right now, you need to get the book, so I'll release your friend's shoots from the virus that we put in his body, and your ship, too. Well, hold on. Yeah, what?

Hold on. Why did you do that in the... So that Pepsi would help us. But we would have done it's treasure. I didn't know that. I didn't know that at the time. Well, get rid of the value. I agreed before you told me about the virus.

Yeah, but we've done the virus before you agreed. And I don't trust you. I was already, I was there, brother. You didn't need the extra mustard value. But you got to give the book to me. You can't use the book. Wait, you can share knowledge. No.

It is. I'm the bad guy in the story. You don't see that. We're not friends. You don't seem that bad to me. Yeah. You just seem like you got a lot. Ken Rock turns around and shoots someone on a ship.

What about now? How do you like him now? Okay, I did not know that person. It has now changed my impression of Kid Rock at all. Yeah. Okay. See that guy over there? Yes.

He fosters animals and he's a real good dude. His name's Ted. Hi, Ted. Oh, shit. So. Okay. Okay. I am the wrong person to make this argument to you.

Yeah. Hey, I'll be the emotional core here. That was terrible. You're the bad guy. You're doing a great job. All right. Please free my daddy. We're going to beam you on board our ship.

And we're going to take you to go get the goth books. Why don't you come to our ship? Because I put a virus in your ship and it won't work. Well, you said you were going to fix it, so why don't you fix it? I'm not going to fix it until you bring me the book. But you got two dead bodies on your ship. Yeah. I'll flush about the big toilet we use for bodies.

Do you promise I won't have to see them, brother? Yeah. Creeves me out on it. You promise. Yeah. Can we actually have a minute? Sure. Yeah.

What's up with your whole vibe, dude? I'm gonna mute the Zoom. It's changed dramatically. How do you mean, brother? Everything you're doing, the voice, the attitude, the relationship with human violence. Well, I've got to be honest with you. Hi, Justin here. I just reread the rules, and I remember the number that I picked for Pepsi,

and I felt like I wasn't honoring the number between ladies and feelings that I picked for Pepsi. Oh, that's what I'm playing, by the way. Oh, yeah, hey. This is Later's and Feelings by John Harper. It's a great game. We're going to start rolling dice. Wait, what's your number? My number's three.

Oh, shit. Okay. I'm four. I'm five. Wow. Okay. That's going to mean something in just a second, y'all. It's going to blow your fucking mind.

So you have arrived at the Temple of Garth, which should have been a clue that that's where they were. I would have, if one. Google Maps search. Yeah, for a long time. Well, nobody knew where it was for a long time. Sounds like nobody was really looking for them. They were caught at the Timble of Gorth because, like, it was kind of smudged.

Yeah, sure. On the sign-out front. And then they, like, went it and they're like, oh, okay. Yeah. With mud. It was a mud smudge. Good. Tell your little story.

And they walk you in to the opening chamber, to the first chamber. And there you see. Wait, we're here with Old Man Rock and Roby Keith. Yeah. I'm going to envelop Old Man Rock's. No, not yet. No, never. Come on, trust me.

Okay. How many seconds? Whoa. 30 to 45. Okay. How's Roeby responding to this? I want to look for a... Tell us and shit, but he doesn't quite know why.

He's still trying to figure out. He's like, why does this bother me so much? I'm just going to sidle up to him and just whisper poison into his ear while this happens. That's good. Yeah. What do you say? Just, God, they look so peaceful and connected, don't they? That's so nice.

Could you tell me, if you... your friend has an ass, I can put a boot in. I don't want to answer that. I'll find a way. Let me be super clear. If you touch my friend 48, I will break my foot off in your ass. But maybe, maybe you should just kind of get in there. Love triangle. But that's a cube.

Share the cube. Love Tesseract. I don't fucking know. I don't do math. I play the keytar. Okay, give me a roll. Which one of us? I'm going to have you both do it. Yay. First, 48, give me a lasers roll to impart the music of Tim McGraw

or whatever it is. This is what I do. I'm going to roll the maximum number of dice. Yeah, you're definitely prepared. If I can't do this, what kind of semi-gillatness data cube? In fact, I'm going to say, since this is the purpose of your existence, you can roll four. Excellent.

Wait, wait, wait. Do you want to understand, explain the rules real quick? Yeah, so Griffin is making a lasers roll. which is science-based, anything technical, mechanical, and he needs to roll under his number, which is... A five. Should be. Pretty easy.

Yeah, so if he rolls four or lower, right, on one, two, or three, it succeeds at different levels. And if he matches the number, he's going to ask me a question. Yes, it's called Laser Feelings. Here we go. I, guys, it was pretty close, actually, for four dice. That's a six, a six, a five, and a two. Okay, well, one of those is your number.

Okay, good. I do have laser feelings. Yes, so is there something you want to ask me? Won't you please release our friend? Please. You're asking old man wrong? Yeah, I'm asking old man rock. But nicely. I mean, I will.

But I put a lot of work in that virus. Okay, all right, but I'm going to keep him here with me. It's like leverage. Inside of my gelatinous form, I'm confused. No, here in the lobby or whatever. The vestibule? Okay, that makes sense. Okay.

I was about to sort of shatter your mind by playing you too much Tim McGraw too loudly, but you, again, seem like a super cool dude. I can't believe I didn't see that coming. Okay, anyway, here's everything about Tim McGraw. Now, with three successes, it's a critical success. So not only do you impart the music of Tim McGraw to him. He fucking loves that. No, no, no.

No, it wasn't three successes, right? One success. Oh, one success. Okay. I get it. Yeah, sure. Okay. It's cool on Jim McRaw.

really problematic stuff in there. This is coming from me, Kid Rock. Yeah, wow. Okay, and now you're going to give me a feelings role. Yes. To try to... Now, are you trying to... So discontent in Roby and Kid Rock's relationship?

Or are you trying to... I'm trying to inspire a grand gesture from Roby Keith. Okay, great. I'm going to roll one die. Yeah. Because I don't want it. I don't want it. Because you're a musician robot.

I rolled a three. I did not do. it. Okay. Hey, Hey. What? Get away from Roeby Key. Wait, who said that? Did he say that about itself? Kid Rock said that. Oh, man rock. Well, then it would sound like, Blu-W-W-R-W-W. Yes, what he said.

You must not speak. Wait, why are you talking like me again? Because this is my voice. Okay. All right. Thank you for sharing that music with me. It's okay. Now get in there. Get in that first chamber and bring me back to Garth book. Well, you're never getting shoots back, and I won't fix your ship, and I'll say mean things about you on X. Oh, no.

That's why it's lashing for centuries. That is a fade worse than death. We must continue. Okay. You enter into the first chamber. Oh. No, it's just, I'm overwhelmed. There's just, we're moving so quickly.

Okay, we're in the first chamber. Okay. Okay. You walk into the first chamber, and you can tell. It's a large room, but most of the room is pitch black. And you can see a spotlight in the center of the room. Okay.

And illuminated in that spotlight is a table with three wooden goblets, each engraved with your names. And a sign in front of it. Our characters names are a real... Your character names. Clear. Okay. It would have been pretty cool if they had our real-life names on. Like, that would have freaked me out.

Yeah, I think it would have freaked your bean too hard. And I want you to be dialed in for the rest of it. I'm here now. No, it's, and 48, it's your entire name. Whoa. Pretty big plaque then, because that's the full lyric to McGraw.

It's very tiny. Like when they, like, paint on rice. Yeah, okay. It's like that. And there's a sign in front of it that simply reads, drink.

Can't. I'm a robot. I can't. Two of us can't. Oh, boy, I see where this is gone. Okay. I'm parched anyway.

I'll drink all three of your oils. No problem. Excellent. Wait, hold on. Wait, I can load mine up into my, my vape. No one look at me, though. It's embarrassing. You're going to vape it.

I'm looking. You mustn't look, please. You said you were my friend. She, um, I would like to think back on my, my knowledge of Garth Brooks to see if there's any, any teaching, any, any connections that I can draw. To drinking? What? Well, not to drink. Garth Brooks never wrote a single fucking song about drinking, dude.

Good luck. I have to look up Garth Brooks songs now? No, that's what I'm here for. Yeah, Charles did that for you. Okay, give me a, since you're trying to recall knowledge, I'm going to say a lasers roll. Okay. And I'm going to say you have researched this,

so you're prepared for it. I'm going to say two D-6s. Okay. And this is, did you say, laser feelings? This is lasers. Laser. You want to go under your number, which is a three. Three.

So I needed, yeah. I got a one. Okay, great. Nice. That is a success. So as you bring the cup, you give it a big old sniff, right? And the scent of sweet red wine tickles your nose. That doesn't mean anything to me.

What is that? Well, it wasn't one. You only got one success. Yeah. That's not very many successes in the grand scheme. No, yeah. I wish I'd, no. Hey, I think I'm going to drink it.

I don't know. I just got to go with my gut here. We'll each do our own and we can split. You only let me start and then I can start drinking. That's probably safer to drink something before vaping a mystery substance. Yes. Good looking out, Pepsi. Yeah.

All right. I grab the chalice, the goblet, if you like, and drink it. Okay. And you guys are watching this happen, right? You're not doing it all at once. Right. Yes. Okay, great.

The taste of sweet red wine washes. over your tongue. Your cares and worries fade away. In fact, you're so relaxed that you have forgotten why you are here. No. And you seem to have forgotten pretty much everything, and you're having a really hard time holding on to new thoughts. Okay. And then the walls begin to close in on you. Well, guess it's my turn. Wait, what? So for those of you don't know, this is a... There's a lyric in a Garthbrook's cover. For those of you that don't know,

because in this song he goes, except for a scene or two, erase my sweet red wine. Okay. There's the line. So hold on. You're saying if we had known in real life the works of Garth Brooks better, we could have sidestepped this flower trap.

If he had rolled two successes, okay, that's fair. I'm saying these people paid to be here. They didn't pay to not seem. drink the stuff in the glass. You're right. The walls here left and right are closing in.

Okay. But as the light has illuminated the room fully, you see that these walls are lined with cabinet doors of all shapes, sizes, and colors. And across the room on the opposite side, you see a door,

which you presume the exit. Okay. How many cabinets of different colors? Yeah. How many? like a hundred on each wall. Quite a few. You can't,

you could stop and count them, but it's quite a few. I think probably, again, two of us could handle that task pretty quickly. Oh yeah, but how's that going when you can't remember

what you're doing? No, no, no, the robot wants can count. You've named it. Yeah, okay, that's a fair point. Wait, what? I'm just sort of by myself at this one.

Count the cabinets. We're having a great time over here, though. Okay, while I'm counting, is any of that like cottony cloud flowing differently into a cabinet or through the door?

Yeah, that's why she's the best in the biz. Okay. All three of you roll a lasers. Missy, you can roll with two. Thanks. Because you're very perceptive right now in this moment. The other two, just one.

I got my number. Two. Under. Yes. It's good. Got no successes. Okay, great. So the two of you that are having a hard time holding on to memories and holding on to your thoughts.

We're very present in the now. Yeah. This makes sense. I'm so dialed in. Yeah, we don't need that one anymore. You can hear the muffled sound of a telephone ring coming from one of these cabinets. Well, Trav, that doesn't help us even a little bit. Can I echo locate with my gelatinous form and let the viability?

vibrations send me in the direction of the correct cabinet. I don't know any of this man's wrong. You are in contact with Shoots, by the way? Ring, ring, shutes. I thought he was down with the virus. No, he fixed him, but he just kept him out there. Okay. Oh, that's a fair point.

Okay, I don't remember who Shoots is because I've had my mind to race by that sweet red one. Sweet, I'm going to call my dad, Hey, Pop, what's up? Oh, Missy. How's the first challenge going? Fucking terribly. Oh, man.

Yeah. So two of them kind of don't have memory And I am Just got my thumb up my ass I don't really know what I'm doing What is any Garthbrook song That might help in this moment Give me any clue whatsoever

Hey bud I'm giving you as much information As I've been able to process What's happening? Why? Okay They lost their memories How do they lose your memory?

Shoot! There's so many cabinets, dude There's a bunch of cabinets Uh-huh A phone is ringing Sweet red one Oh, oh, look around, see if you can find a cabinet, it's Rouge. Call in Baton Rouge.

That's the song, Sweet Red Wine. We're raised by Sweet, Call in Baton Rouge, a phone call. Okay. Find a Rouge cabinet. I'm going to look for a red cabinet, but, like, kind of French. Is that what Rouge is? Yeah, yeah. It's just red?

Yeah, dogs. Thanks, Doolingo. Actually, we're with Babel now, so you just got to... Oh, no. We're with Babel now. You're going to say just to Babbel. Thank you. Babel.

We'll fix it in post. I look for the, please don't make me roll. Just let me identify a color. There's a lot of vape clouds in here. I don't know. Stop it. Maybe you forget what colors are. Stop, you shotgun some Boone's Farm.

You're not in this right now. Yes, you find a rouge cabinet door. Inside, there is an old-timey telephone, you know, like the kind you would hold and hold them. aside to your ear. Like the little thing and then you talk it to the front. Yes, and it's a reading.

I pick it up. Hello, uh, bonjour. Uh, uh, yeah, this is the operator. How are gonna help you? Como, say va?

Uh, you drunk? You drink the wine? Wee. Okay. All right. Baton Rouge is in Louisiana. Oh, okay. Wee.

Can I help you? Um, how do I stop the walls from crushing my friends and give them their memory, also. Who is this? There's the operator. Oh. Hi.

Okay. You just need to unlock the door. Okay. Before I hang up, is there going to be a funky little trick to unlock the door? Yeah, you need the rouge baton. The rouge baton. Okay. All right. So I'm looking for a red stick. Yeah. Copy that. Do you need it? Yes, please.

Oh, okay. And the back of the cabinet slides open in there. You see the Rouge baton. Oh, my God. You're so sweet. Thank you. Oh, you're welcome. How's your day going? It's going for free. Good, how about you? Oh, nice. Hey, honestly, great.

Ask him if I can envelop his head. Hey, my friend wants to know if you're not doing anything later if he can envelop your head. Is it cute? Yeah. Okay. Oh, my God.

Amazing. Okay, I gotta go. This is nice. Sorry. Oh, shit. Did he say, is he cube? I didn't clarify, and that's on me. I'm so sorry.

Shit, shit. I'm sorry. We can call back after. I have a stick. It's okay. I already made one friend today. The walls are getting really close, by the.

This does not affect me. I am gelatinous. I quit. I'm trying not to be an asshole about it, but I can get as flat as I want. Okay. This seems like an us problem. Yeah.

Use the rouge baton, hold it up to keep the walls in place. It can't smash the rouge baton, I bet. It's story critical. Just hold it up. How wise the baton? Yeah.

Like this? Fuck. If we stand sideways, it'll be okay. For those of you at home, I held my hands of our batons lane. Yeah. I could make that. Wait, I just goosh into the open cabinet.

Close the door. Good luck, haters. Okay. Be fair, he doesn't know who we are, so why is he invested? Do you? What? No, no, but people were getting out red sticks, and I just can't went with it. Okay, that's fair.

I'm going to grab my cup and then walk over and sort of... Yes, when you approach the door, there's no kind of mechanism clear to see, but what you do see is in the center of the door. There is a circular hole. Hey, you know what? I set the baton gently on the ground. No. Crush me.

There's a huge cabinet over here if you all want to hop inside. I hop into a morgue drawer. The door can't make us do. That's wild, man. I put the stick in the hole. Do you like what you become? You all are missing the best stuff.

Here. The wall. stop moving and the door swings open and you're able to escape. You've solved the Baton Rouge room. Even though we are all dressed the same, I still feel wary of following strangers through a haunted crypt.

My name's Missy. Hi. We're friends now. Awesome. Bro, I set you up on a date with the person on the phone. You're cool. Let's party. Yeah. My handle's Pepsi Liberty, I believe, and I'm not quite sure what the best country is. What have I done?

As you cross the doorframe, your memories clear. The red wine fog fades away. What happens if I drink it now? It's just wine. I mean, yeah. Oh, sweet. I'm sipping. Yeah.

Yeah. Pepsi's kissing his flag belt buckle. I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. Wait, while still wearing it? Yes. It's the muscle atrophy.

It makes it really easy to kiss your own belt buckle. Thanks, cryogenic, sleep. You're the best. In the air, you'd attack the hint of a strange perfume, unlike any you've experienced. As this hits your nose, a sense memory that is not at all your own grips your mind. You are suddenly overcome with guilt. Before you is a long hallway-like room. At the other end is a porch.

And onto that porch is a door. What do you do? Well, travel walk up to the door and open it. As you take a step, Oh, shit. The room fills with noise from every direction, the thunder rolls. Inches in front of you,

a wall of lightning strikes three times. Bam, bum, bum. And above the door, two massive stained glass windows illuminate. The windows are in the shape of eyes, and they are judging the shit out of you. What? Can I Okay, so there's the

Is the eyes behind the lightning? Yeah, so if you can picture at the end of the hallway Like Ram is the porch Over the porch You see the two glowing stained glass Judgmental eyes. Okay, and the lightning is In between you.

Part of it, okay. Oh, we're in it. Got it. That's the room. I split into several smaller cubes. Just go between the lightning. It was a wall of lightning, is what I said.

You said three. Bomb, bomb, bomb, bon, it hid the floor three times. Okay, I get you, I get you. A wall of lightning. Got it. Picture a wall. You know how it a wall?

No. Okay. I'm a robot, so can I just sort of conduct the lightning away from my friends? That's cool. Or will that kill me? So, Abria?

Yeah, yeah. I don't expect you to know everything about science. But imagine lightning strikes a television how do you think that goes it'll be fine but metal conducts wow you're going to get all Mr. Wizard here and you're going to end up with egg on your face

because you got me here and I'm about to teach you a thing or two about this whole thing go off King I don't actually I'm sorry Briah that's all I got I don't actually know this right or wrong it's just the tone drives you crazy get hit by lightning all the time and they continue to fly and I would like to think that

little missy part jet okay what now hold on okay I'm sorry did you release uh episodes two and three of who jenny I don't know who my mom is I'm not negating what I'm asking you is what I'm asking you is what part of little miss McCracken is a jet the fuselage what he said no I have a back I have a little jet pack back That's great. So I can be like a little turtle. Okay. Roll a...

I got a jetpack too as long as we're calling it. Don't bite my thing. I turn it backwards. Well, hold on. I will let you roll to see if you can conduct the lightning away from them.

You will only get one because this is definitely not something you're prepared for. This is definitely not something you're an expert in. Yeah, I'll be fine. And if you fail, you want for you a real real real.

Yeah. Okay. I'm here for it. a good time, not a long time. They didn't. There it is. What was it supposed to be because I got a two?

It was supposed to be under your number and your number is three, right? Four. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm a plane. You are able to pull

the lightning. Okay, one success. Yeah. So as they take steps forward, right? You conduct the lightning, you draw it down, you're able to hover off of the ground for a little bit, right?

So they're able to move forward. Awesome. Right? And the lightning passes three. you, but then when it's time to take the next step, the thunder rolls once more. Oh, shit. You're now about a quarter of the way through the room, right? But it's progressing down, right?

It's going to present a barrier for you as you move each time. I'm going to dive deep into my memory banks. Uh-huh. Into the works of Tim McGraw. I'm just going to sort of search all for thunder and see if there are any sort of metaphors about Thunder that maybe Tim McGraw wrote about that I could use to sort of inspire a solution.

Roll a lasers roll for me with two dice. Okay, thank you. You got this. Nope. All you find is a short article of somebody who's like, what do you think about thunder? Mr. Regarney's like, I don't like a one bit. I'm not a fan. Me neither. Isn't that your laser feeling number?

Oh, yeah, I did get laser feelings. Oh, okay, excellent. What you actually find. And a deep deeper Google of your base. Dark Google. And a dark Google. Dugal. Which is the sequel to Google.

The sequel to Google. Yeah, we got that. Okay. You find an article in which Tim McGraw credits hearing Garth Brooks' masterpiece Thunder Rolls. Sure. With inspiring him to write Indian Outlaw. Oh, no. Gross. He took the wrong message from that song, I assume. Does the article include lyrics to Thunder Rolls that might guide me through this

It does. Okay, cool. Strangely, Jim McGrath takes the time in a two-page article to list the entirety of lyrics to Garth Brooks' thunder rolls. Cool. Wait a minute. That's it. We just have to time it. The thunder rolls and then the lightning strikes.

So we just wait for the lightning and then move during the thunder. We do what he said. Okay. I do that, but with my body rather than my words. Yeah, defo, defo. Give me, let's see, movement. I'm going to say, because you're timing, you're feeling it, intuition, this is going to be a feeling. Okay, so is this I'm prepared to do this, you feel like?

He knows it soft. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'll give you a prepared one, uh, gelatinous cube. So I need four, five or six, right? Correct. Okay. I got four and a five.

Oh, excellent. All right. Let's go. You're able to like, expertly, expertly, uh, time this out, dodge around the lining, tuck and roll all of these things. Now the other two. you're going to need to make some timing rolls as well so give me feelings rolls

wait I look for the shutoff switch classic you get through it once there's a switch to turn it off right at the end of every hallway chat there has to be a shutoff switch this is a real like old-timey porch go get that break around back you want to come back out the way you came

you're not going to dodge lightning twice 100% you know what Justin an excellent point thank you do me a lasers role to find the cut off switch. You got it.

Okay. And you're going to have one dice. You can do this. You've got this. Just needed two or a one? Yep. Maybe next time. Maybe next time.

You find a light switch and you're like, awesome. And you flip it down and the porch light goes off. And you flip it up and the porch light comes back on. You're like, oh, fuck. Keep trying. One more round. Nope, didn't do it. No.

The third time didn't do it. Okay. No. The bulb actually broke. Oh, bummer. Oh, no. All right. Listen, you all, you just got a time it.

Thunder rolls. and then the lightning strikes. So you just got to do it during the blah, blah, blah. Easy enough. Sure. Now we're prepared? Nope.

Shit. Come on. Two. I don't remember what it was supposed to be doing. Under your number. Under? You got your exact number. I got my exact number.

You guys are able to time the shit out of it. Yeah. And Abria, you now get to ask me a question. Where's the off switch? Excellent. So the off switch is built into the door. Oh. Once you're able to open the door, it will shut down this challenge.

Amazing. Okay. That was nice. They really like it when we do that. I don't know why. Why do you like that? Griffin used to pick on me for opening my drinks too loud on the mic, and he'd start yelling, grip it and rip it, baby, grip it and rip it.

And then I just started doing, yeah. We go through the door. Door is locked. Fuck. God, this game is so hard. Did you take that, did you bring that stick with you? Yeah, I insert the stick into the sick shape hole in the door. There is no circular hole, but what you do see.

I search again. I search again. We'll make one. But what you do find when you're searching the door, emblazing across the door in gold letters, it says confess. I. Vape. It's so important to just sort of own your truth, bud. I'm so proud of you.

While he's dissolved in tears, can I just try to like mush some of his elbow gel into the lock and try to pick the lock? There's not a lock. It's just the door won't open. All right. I vape. Is that anything?

You hear a sound, but the door still doesn't budge. You hear like... I vape a lot. The sound doesn't repeat. Let me try. Ooh. One time when I was 14, I ate Canadian bacon. You hear another Tumblr fall into place, but still...

My cousin told me it was ham. The door still doesn't open, but it's getting close. It feels like three of them will do it. I don't know why. I just have this sense, y'all. You remember when the three gauntlets had your names on it. Yeah, right? I'm still sipping mine.

I don't. I understand how heredity works and how that shouldn't apply to me because I'm a robot. And if I'm part playing, I don't think Schutz is my real dad. Is that what you wanted? The door swings open.

No! Please tell me Schutz was listening, right? Yeah. No, I am. How? Well, they just use different parts what they had around. The programming, so when they, okay, so when they program,

Move on. They used my base programming, right? Shoot is also not my real dad. That's true. The door double opens. Yeah. It swings so far open. It swings back around and closes.

Oh, shit. No, new secrets. Oh, darling. Why won't you accept my love? My dear, even though you are a Duke, I could never love you. You. You.

I borrowed a book for me and never returned it. Save yourself from this terrible fate by listening to Reading Glasses. We'll help you get those borrowed books back and solve all your other reader problems. Reading glasses every Thursday on Maximum Fun. I'm Emily Heller. And I'm Lisa Hannawalt. And we're the hosts of Baby Geniuses. We've been doing our podcast for over 10 years.

When we started, it was about trying to learn something new every episode. Now it's about us trying to actively get stupider. And it's working. Hang out with us and you'll hear us chat about. Gardening. Horses. Various problems with our butts. And all the weird stuff that makes us horny.

That's so weird. All that stuff. Baby geniuses, a show for adult idiots. Every other week on maximum fun. Baby geniuses, we know everything. Baby geniuses tell us something we don't know. As the doors swing shut behind you, your mind is awash with sensor.

input. Your shoes sink slightly into the mud. Don't have those. Those of you that have shoes, they sink slightly in the mud. For those of you who have noses and mouths, the air tastes and smells of dust.

All around you is the roar of a crowd, and something in the quality of the roar gives you complete confidence that this is a Sunday crowd. But all of that fades into the background as your eyes are drawn, to a flash of metal across the arena.

The light reflects from an oversized gold belt buckle, which is attached to an oversized mechanical cowboy, which is attached to an oversized mechanical bowl. They call this thing a rodeo. That's another Garthbrook's song. Is they call this thing a rodeo? They just call this thing a rodeo.

And the lyric goes, and they call this thing a rodeo! Sounds kick-ass, dude. It's a balls in blood. It's a dust and mud. roar of a sunday crown. It's a wide of his knuckles, the gold in his buckles

the whole wind and the next go round. It's going. Goes the chairs and a cowboy head. It's his hers and a lot of gold. The load of rain. Lord of rain. They call the thing a rodeo. Thank you very much.

I've listened to a lot of Garth Brooks in the last two weeks. The bull stomps twice, snorts black smoke and charges you. What? What about do you do?

Dodge. Oh, good. Hey, good start. Thank you. Give me a feelings roll. Why is dodging feeling? Oh yeah, I guess that makes sense. You want this one to be above.

Yeah, I know. Now for Missy, as a quick draw robot, avoiding danger is something you are an expert at. So even though you're not prepared, you do get two dice for that. Please. What if I roll a two twice? That adds up to a four. Now, I do know how math works, but I also know how dice are.

You are clipped by the bull, and you are thrown into one of the walls of the arena. So you are not, for lack of a better word, prone. Other two, give me some kind of reaction to this bull charging in your direction. Is this a cyber bowl? A cyball. It is a mechanical ball. It is robotic in nature, but not necessarily. think a little more

like steam punky gears and wind up and less computerized. Okay. Okay. So enveloping its head you think would do like not much. Okay, cool.

A robovine? Yeah. That's good. Yeah, I like that. I pull out my gun and I say who wants steak and then I blast it.

I almost said I don't think you have a gun. And then I remember you're perhaps the Liberty, proud American. Yes. Of course I have a gun. Most gun. Give me a lasers roll. Okay.

I will say you're prepared for this because you have a gun. Yeah. Sure. We've been really not rolling very good tonight. Feelings. Love. This is lasers. Maybe next time.

I didn't quite get that old bowl. Oh, man. Oh, it bounces right off of the gold bell. He's going to be madder than ever. Oh, buddy. The bullet ricochets off the gold bell buckle, and boy is that cowboy upset. He won that gold bell buckle in Tulsa.

The bell buckle is the weak point. I attack the belt buckle. I'm going to float right up to it. Get it. I'll float up to it, envelop his waist, and try and undo his belt buckle. This I'm going to watch. Yeah, just so I'm clear.

Yeah. You're going to goop around his waist. Yeah. And using... Say it slower. Using... your goop, unbuckle his belts. Sure. Okay.

Not his belt, just get the buckle on. I guess the belt's coming off, yeah. But it's not about that for me. Hi, and welcome to the specific fetish hour. I'm your host, Justin McElroy. I hope you've enjoyed our play. Yeah, that's the most, that's an erotic phrase right there. Let me goop around your weight.

All right. Hey, listen, I know we just met, but I feel like there's a lot of chemistry here. So what am I rolling? I'm trying to figure out, Griffin. It's got to be lasers. It feels like- Coward, you got to pick feelings. Yeah.

No, it's lasers. It's definitely. I'm not prepared for this in any way. No. No one is. Should be pretty easy. I got my number. Good job.

Laser feelings. Okay. May I take your belt off? Thank you for asking. So it separates the cowboy and the bull. Cool. When you remove the belt buckle, the bull is still charging.

The cowboy, you realize, was just waist up. So he's kind of on hand charging ground, but far less. We can make it work. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to get on top of the bull. Nice.

No, wait. be an adhesive sort of glue for one of the two of you to be able to. Okay, I'll get up on the ball. God. Okay, is it lasers or feelings? Don't stick yourself. This time it's feelings. Okay, yeah, you know what?

Sticky is a feeling. I would consider this an animal handling kind of check? Yeah, sure. That's feelings. So you need five or six? You got this. Five. Yeah.

Oh, hell yeah. All right. You are able to bond with the bull, right? And you definitely feel... It's not that hard. It's not that hard. You feel what is basically now becoming like a struggle between you and the mechanical will of this beast. Okay.

And so you're definitely gaining control, but not right away. Someone help me. I do not know how. Missy, you're up. What do you do? The top half of... of the cowboy is making its way towards you. What's the energy

on top half of the cowboy? He's angry. Why are you mad? I got hit. Yeah, but he's just an angry film. I mean, he's an angry robot programmed to hurt. Okay, I'm going to try to kick the cowboy into the bull. Whoa, nice. I'm going to punt this.

Wait, is this a boss fight? Yeah. Shit, okay, I didn't know that. I would have done a different thing. You wouldn't have gooped around his waist and taken his pants off? I thought this was a puzzle. I fucked up my whole turn. No, you're good, boo.

No, my action economy's all fucked up now, Travis. My DPS is too low, Travis. Damn it. Okay. Abria, roll for me a lasers roll. Okay. Kicking, I would say, is not necessarily your strong suit. So we're going to do a one here.

But combat you are good at, so we'll do two. For an expert, but not for being. Ew. I was going to accept it, but I'm glad you argued with yourself on my behalf. One success. One success. All right. You definitely, like, you're not quite able to get him back to the bull, right?

But you definitely knock him off balance. I mean, he's walking down his hands. He definitely flails backwards. Can I kind of skid him under the bull? Like, I just in the bull's path. I just want to see if they're, like, connected emotionally. Like, is this bull going to trample the cowboy? Or maybe, like...

Which doesn't actually get us any closer to the end, but you just really want to find out if it will or not. You really just want to psychologically get in there. I, yeah. She's testing their connection. Yes, okay. You kick the cowboy in such a way that he is now placed between you and the bull. Pepsi, you're up. So wait, okay.

Can I wait a second? First, here's what I really need. See, you want to see where this goes to you. Yeah, the bull is charged at the cowboy. Can I just wait a second? I need a quick, Griffin. I need you to voice for me. Yeah.

What 48 is experiencing while glued to the back of this ball. It could only be described as an awakening. For so long, 48's life has been dedicated to the proselytizing of this great man's works, Tim McGraw. He's written songs about the feeling that I'm feeling right now. This is my first time ever feeling that. And that's an important moment for me and my character that has never been published before in our public podcasting fee.

I'm growing a lot today and no one gives a shit because they've never heard of my character before. That's what I'm experiencing, Travis. That's beautiful, Griffin. Thanks. Griffin, roll for me a feelings role to see if you can get his bowl to run over the cowboy. Yeah. and I get a bone.

Wait, wait, wait. You can at least make it 2.7 seconds because Tim McGraw and live like you were dying went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumancho. Hey, how do you guys know so much about Tim McRaw but so little about Garthbrook? This Garthbrook sucks? Whoa!

Ooh! Brat, bra, bra. I'm gonna roll... He didn't mean it, Garth. He's alive. I like Reba. I'm gonna roll three dice. Because of what I said.

Because of the great shit, Justin said. And I want a five or six? I got one of them. Okay, yeah, that bull is charging towards that cowboy. And I kill him with it. The bull kills him? The bull kills him? The bull, full speed, charging at you, Missy, and the cowboy skids into his path. And at the last second, the bull skids to try to stop and topples over. 48, you're thrown from the bull at 2.8 seconds. Perfect. Yeah, you've done it.

I finished. I hate this show. You did this. Yeah. And the bull and the writer are both toppled and your left holding the gold belt buckle of victory. This is what Old Man Rock wanted, right? Let's bring it on back home.

No, this. I'm going to look. The Garth books. That's right. Let's go, baby. Hold on. Is there any fun thing I can scavenge from the bowl? Yeah, let's loot.

Yeah. I don't upgrade myself. Give five skins. Trade them in. Oh, yeah, get some crushed on the belt. Yeah. Yeah, give me a feelings. No, give me a lasers roll to search.

Nope. Nope. You don't find anything. Okay. You find a note in the car always pocket. like, damn, I love this bull, and he loves me. We're best friends. He'd never hurt me. I kick him in the face and keep walking.

Ow. Ouch. I was your real dad. Oh, shit. I go back and finish what I started. Whoa. What? Everyone's having huge character development this episode.

You are able, as soon as this is done, you see the shoot that the bull entered from open, and you can see the hallway leading to the next chamber. Let's go. Yeah. We're doing good. How is everyone feeling? I could use the water. Can we have a water break?

Yeah, sure. Wait, are you, wait, okay, wait. On what level are you asking me this? No, that's it. I was just trying to do, like, sometimes in shows or like movies or whatever, sometimes when things have been, a lot of been happening, sometimes people will be like, let's take a break and get some water. Yeah.

So this is a long hallway to the next chamber. Yeah, right. There's a little table set up with some, like, trail minks. Yeah. There's some bottles of water. Great. There's a bathroom. If anyone needs it.

A little couch. Have you all tried this water? Insane. I'm going to stick the water. How is he in, sorry. Thank you. That was the code word we used to tell. Paul, what the fuck gives you the idea that I want a water right now.

Thank you. All right, I'm ready to rock. Are you sure? I'm all charged, go. Yeah. You reach the chamber. and two things immediately catch your eye. One, aside from the entrance,

there does not appear to be any other door or clear exit in this room. Okay. But second, save for the one we just entered from. Okay, got it. Yes. Second, and much more notably, the majority of this room, the floor of which is taken up by two swirling whirlpools of liquid,

one that reeks of whiskey. and one that reeks of beer. And that's the only two things in this room. Are you Googling lyrics of Garth Brooks? Hold on. We all should have been doing this. If you Google Garth Brooks and whiskey, your phone will milk. That is not going to be helpful.

I know this one. I want to remember. No, no. Abrea's got this one. Yeah, please. Yeah, please. Yeah, bring home. Okay, sorry.

Say that one more time. I got really excited because it was a song I recognized. You're looking at the ground, right? Yeah. And swirling downward, right? You have a whirlpool of whiskey and a whirlpool of beer. Okay. Hold on.

This is great. The ballers are really giving me, like, a thing to do. I look for a friend in the low place. Well, in the song, I believe, you're referencing, what does the beer do and what does the whiskey do? Oh. Oh. Okay.

Oh my God. Pepsi, do you trust me? I, with my life. I'm going to gently lead Pepsi to the whiskey pool and like a old-timey Southern Baptist drown this human man in the whiskey pool. Now, now that's normal. We know about this.

This was our experience to a tea. Yeah, I'm saying out loud. this is a thing, this is a thing. Hey, you know what? Yes and. All right. Do you have to give me this? Give me a feelings roll?

I got some feelings. Hold on. I am prepared for this. I've drowned, men. Yeah. Thank you. Okay, Abram, that's the t-shirt I want. Special co-branded partnership between you and us.

Just a picture of you and it says, I've drowned, man. Yeah. All right, yeah. Give me two. Thanks. Please. I got my number.

Oh, excellent. Okay. Wait, is this a lasers roll or a feelings roll? It's a feelings roll. Then you got... No, no, no, okay, yes, yes, yes. I guess drowning is a passionate action. So you're kind of lowering him in, right?

As soon as any part of his skin, right, touches the whiskey, you can't breathe. Pepsi immediately, like, it's like the air is pulled out of your lungs. Because the whiskey drowns? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Oh, I use my straw.

Now, there are two whirlpools. And I feel like you guys have gotten really caught up on what the whiskey does and forgotten to follow through with what the beer does. Pepsi Liberty's Straw is like a really important character. It's a big thing. It represents a lot of growth for Pepsi. As soon as you are no longer touching the whiskey, by the way, your breath returns to you. Okay, I step away.

Well, okay, let's reevaluate everybody. I just want to say I didn't necessarily stop what I was doing. Yeah. We can move on, but... Please don't make me die here, Brie. No, I wouldn't. Oh, no. I scoop some of my cup.

All right, I hop in the beer pool. Well, that's wise, because, as you know, the whiskey drowns, and the beer chases your blues away. I feel a lot better about almost drowning a second again. Yeah. And you're pulled down as you go, once again, Without the memory erasure or anything like that, it's like your cares are just melting away. Right? Chasing your blues away and you know that you'll be okay.

Oh, great. And you reach the bottom and you're pulled down out of sight of you two. Okay, I feel like my pool was actually somehow less bad. He's gone. Yeah. He got a goose just glooped down there. I am not fucking around with that. I am doing my best umpalupa on the side,

like mourning him with a box. body roll. The traditional umpahouba dance of morning. Body roll. No. Hold on. You're imagining it too, right? They're all wearing black.

It's amazing. Umpillup is at a funeral. Whoever hurts a thing. Can 48 and Missy just kind of wait a couple minutes for all the beer to run out? And then it's just a cone, right? It's not draining. This is an infant. Hold on.

Wait. Yeah. Get in there. Get in there. An infinite beer world pool. Watch out, Mr. Wizard. They're coming for your science. I know how you love science.

I hop in the whiskey pool and then the beer pool. Whatever. I don't know what this is going to do to me. Wait, you're getting them both? Yes. Yes. You got a double dip. Wait, so are you splitting your body in half?

Yes. Meet 24. Yes. Griffin, not now. but sometime before the next two nanny, you have to choose half of Tim McGrath songs to be erased from your memory. I can tell you what?

I'm on the fucking list. It's Indian outlaw. Yeah, yeah, yeah, cool. All right, yeah, 24, half of me's going on one, half of me and the other, baby. Half of you, the surviving half. Yep. Makes it to the ball.

This is a great loss for the galaxy. I have sacrificed half the work of Tim McGraw for this puzzle. How could you play so fast in lutes with the cannon, Griffin? 24 is pulled through the beer funnel and out to the other side, where you are now with Pepsi Liberty. It was something about refried beans. Fuck, what was it? Don't take the woman.

Wait, does he just lose every other word? Tim McGraw's songs. All the songs. Every other word? Was it Tom McGraw? Damn it! And do it like you're dying. Right.

Fuck, oh no. I'm married to a beautiful woman named Faith. Helger Burger. Think? It added a new worst name. I hop in. To which one? The right one.

Yeah. Yeah. I earbonged myself to my friend. So we didn't have to do the whiskey and then the beer? No. All right. I thought that was the puzzle or else I wouldn't have sacrificed half of my form. Wait, okay, hold on.

I, okay, 24 jumps into the beer. What happens to the 24 and the whiskey? We'll find out, who nanny-6? Oh, okay, never mind. I'll leave that for the sequel, and I hop in the right one. Yes, you are once more pulled to the end of this beer funnel, and all three of you now, or two and a half of you now. Hey, no, I'm my own dude still.

It's just I only know half of the Tim McGraw songs. A lot of... I haven't changed aside from that fact. I still love to vape and envelop the heads of random men. And goop their waist. And goop their waist. Thank you so much, Travis. You're welcome, but...

You know what? Actually, I left that in Whiskey 24. No. Yeah, Whiskey 24 was really into that, but not so much beer 24. Whiskey 24 was saying some pretty crazy things back there. Whiskey 24 is a fucking great name for a... Yeah. Yeah.

Shit. Yeah. I hope someday everyone in this... this room brings a friend to Hoot Nanny 6. And they're like, so catch me up. And you're like, okay, shit, hold on, wait. How long do you have? So there were these three episodes you're never going to be.

Yes. I think they played Jenga in one of them. It was wild, man. Anyways, they're all dead now. These are new guys who are on the show. Next chamber. Feed me. More puzzles.

Feed him content. Down here in this chamber. Is there just beer fucking everywhere down here? Yeah, how'd that work? How did it strain the people through? Garthworks magic. All right. Yeah.

Down here, there is no puzzle to be seen, nothing to do. You see on a pedestal illuminated a fairly small book and a pretty old dude sitting next to it. his absolutely just like bone white hair hangs in front of his face you see a little bone white little soul patch under his chin and he sits next to the book and says

oh hello messy 24 there's no fucking way you know my deal there's no fucking way you know my whole deal it just happened I've been watching. Sorry, who are you, sir?

Stop doing the plug. I'm Chris Gaines. If you're not aware, Garth Brooks released an album as a pop alter ego as part of the promotion for a never-released movie that he wrote called The Lamb about a fake pop star named Chris Gaines and he performed and released the greatest hit CD as Chris Gaines, once appearing on S&L hosting as Garth Brooks and performing as Chris Gaines.

So good. Who the fuck are you? Chris Gaines. He and Garth Brooks are real good friends. Well, we were, but Garth is long gone now. He died. Wait. What?

Sorry, come again. Garth died, but you're... Cool. Here. Like, metaphorically? No, he died parasailing. Doing what he loved. If I could be so bold, what were you doing at the time, Chris?

I was not parasailing. That's not. It doesn't seem right. Sorry, can we have the book or what's up? Yeah. Because it's the Garth book. The Garth book? Yes.

Tell me, why do you see? Oh, I thought there were beating. Why do you care? You're Chris Gaines. Garth Brooks was my best friend. Okay. You don't stand all that torn up. about his casting.

He died like 800 years ago. How are you still alive? Magic. This, hold on. No. This is a scientific fiction universe. There must be an explanation for everything. Tell me about it.

Okay, Chris. Here are a lot of fun, Chris. So did you like make Planet Garf? Oh, yes. And you did a lot of stuff? about Garth and nothing about you or your... It's not about me.

Okay. Garth was my hero. We weren't sent to retrieve the Chris Games. That's good. Why do you seek the Garth book? So my dad's not dead and we can continue

to fly in space. Tale as old as time. Yeah. Hey, okay. I'm pretty sure I can't pee till I find it. So I just wanted to go ahead have it.

Are you going to stop us? Because it feels like you kind of blew your load with the bull. Wait, did somebody blow their load on the bull? No.

Some of us produce a sort of residual data slime. But it doesn't have anything to do with that. And you're the one who made it weird by talking about it.

So can we have the book or what? You can read the book? book here, but the book must not leave this room. All right, partner. Listen, I didn't want to do this the hard way, but, and I pull out my

gun, that I still have. I'm going to get this done. Sorry. Are you threatening? You're threatening me, yes? Hopefully not. Hopefully it's a pleasant request that I can just take the book.

Um, no. All right, partner, I didn't want to do this, but eight under years? It kind of seems like you did. Yeah, that's the thing. Eight hundred years a real good run. Give me the book. He realized it.

Only because I want it. Sorry, Chris. Let me explain. The optics of wasting you with a gun right now are pretty bad. Okay. Okay. Go for it. No, I put my gun away.

All right. No, no, no big man. No, you got some sort of rhyming. puzzle, let's hear it. You want me to fill up a crystal garbent with blah, blah, blah, give me the book. No, the book literally

can't leave this room. It's glued to that. I'm going to try to grab it. Okay? It's glued to the pedestal. Fuck. You can read it. All right, I read all of it. We chill for about an hour. When you open the book, there's only writing on the first page.

Cool book. Take the page. It's really strong paper. This is like some card stock shit. The paper is also glued to the floor. Yeah. And the paper simply reads, as you look higher and higher and reach for your goals,

never forget where your friends are. Oh. You got kind of misty there. What's going on, bud? Do you need her to drown you again? Oh, yeah. I brought some of the whiskey. Well, hold this.

Oh, thank you. You can't breathe. Why don't leave for a second. It was a really good reason. Oh, boy, that's good. You know, I don't normally breathe because I'm drinking regular whiskey, to be fair. Yeah, that's for the best.

Yeah, it's just not saying. Doesn't make swell. No. Unless you vape it. You're basically saying that when I went in the whiskey, I held my breath. Is that what we're saying? No, it's worse.

It's that when you were drinking the whiskey, you somehow decided to try to breathe and could not. Yeah. Is this about Friends in Long Places again? Sounds like it. As you close the book, music begins to play. So this is the thing that we do at the end of each.

Who, Nanny? This is what's coming. All my roots, I showed up in boots, and ruined your black tie of hair. Last one to know, last one to show, I was the last one. you thought you'd see there And I saw the surprise

The fear in his eyes When I took his glass of champagne And I toasted you and Sunny we made me through But you'll never hear me complain Because I got friends in low Places where the whiskey drowns and the beer

Chases my blues away And I'll be okay Yeah, I'm not big on social graces Think I'll slip on down to the oasis So I've got friends In low places Dance rate! These goggles are so foggy

I don't know this song Let's go Well I guess I was wrong I just don't belong But then I've been there before Everything is all right I'll just say good night

And I'll show myself to the door I didn't mean To cause a big scene Just give me an hour And then Well I'll be a As high as that ivory tower that you're living in. My friends in low places where the whiskey drowns

and the beer chases my blues away. And I'll be okay. Then I'm not big on social graces. Think I'll slip on down to the y'all Oases, oh, I've got friends In low places 12 more times on this course. Everybody go.

I've got friends in low places Where the whiskey drowns And the beer chases my blues away. Everybody. And I'll be okay. Beautiful, beautiful. Yeah, I'm not big. on social graces think I'll slip on down to the oasis oh I got friends in the old places

I enveloped Chris Gaines head and drown him and take the buck I've got a friend in the places where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away and I'll be a Okay. Yeah, I'm not big on social graces. Sing I'll slip on down to the oasis. Oh, I got friends. Please, Garth. In low places.

Come on, Garz. One more time on that. No, Paul. Impossible. Oh, no. Hey, I've got friends. In low places. And as the music fades,

You hear a soft sob and a deep sigh. We're good. Just like that. And you see Roby Keith, an old man rock walk in with chutsu cracking. What? Old man rock says, That was beautiful.

So my friend's a little place that made me think about how much I love Robby Keith. As a friend. As a friend. No. Boo. A narrative to my well. Love him for real. as a boyfriend.

Yeah! I've always felt the same way. Hell yes. Does that mean you guys don't care about the book anymore because you found a treasure that's even greater? Ooh. You know what? I wasn't thinking that way until you said it.

But damn, that sounds real good. Yeah. Hell yeah. Is the book free now? Can I lift it up? No. Chris Gaines turned into a pillar of ash. Ooh.

I'm going to go now. Where? Where are you going? I've got a racket ball. session. Racquetball? Yeah. Chris, have you ever wanted to see the stars? No.

All right, take her sleazy man. Bye, man. Are you sure? Oh, wait, are you sure? Because it would be cool. Now I'm good. Yeah, you ought to try someone else's accent on a little bit. Wait, how shoots? Oh, shoots is fine. He's back. He loves

this song. He's proud of his daughter. Oh, that's great. Sounds like it all worked out. Yep, you did it. And then I take out my gun and I say, maybe next time, partner. And Biddy Jean wakes up and comes out of the show and goes, what did I miss?

That's dad. Hey, thanks, everybody so much for coming tonight. Thanks to our special, special guests, Abria, Iangar. Thank you, Abria. Thanks to Paul and Rachel and Amanda and Danielle and everybody that made the show. Rachel, thank you. Coco, everybody, thank you so much.

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