The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Just Us - Live in San Diego!

Episode Date: August 25, 2022

Join the Four Hundred and Two Friends super heroes as they try to navigate the city's biggest convention while concealing their super powers from the masses. Will they manage to win that very specific prize from the cosplay contest? Or will some of them unwillingly turn into birds again?Super Normal by Ursidice: https://ursidice.com/supernormal/Music in this episode is "5 Cents Back" and "Bustin Loose" by Jason Shaw (https://audionautix.com/)  and "Summon the Rawk" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/). Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Hi. Hi, everybody. It's just me tonight. A zone of one, as we call it. So welcome. Three years ago, we did a live show here at the Balbo, our last San Diego show prior to now, and we played a game called Super Normal. And we titled that episode Just Us. You have heard it, good news. We're doing another Just Us tonight. I'm going to intro the characters in just a moment to give you a little backstory on them so you know who everybody is playing. But basically the way supernormal works is they are all playing superheroes, but they are in their mild-mannered alter ego forms, and they are trying to not be recognized as superheroes. So every time they do something, I will make them roll.

And if they roll bad, then glitches happen. And if they roll really bad, then a lot of glitches happen. And they're trying to just seem like normal everyday people. But they're not normal everyday people. They are superheroes. He stalks the night, hunting evil. And during the day he plans parties at big companies. company, and he's awesome at both, always seen with his sidekick, the Grackle.

Please welcome to the stage, Del Craven, aka Hell Raven. Chosen from among all others by the immortal elders, Osiris, Hermes, Saturn, Hephaestus, Icarus, and Tengen, Pep Sturdly walks the hallways and offices of big company on a never-ending mission, to write wrongs, to develop understanding, to seek justice for all, and to get a decent enough rating and his next job review to get a raise out of his cheap scape boss. That is way longer than mine was. Well, dad wrote his. Okay.

You didn't write yours. Okay. So I had to make it up on the spot. Pep has been granted the powers by the immortals to summon awesome forces at the utterance of a single word. Welcome to the stage. you almost ate shit just now which dad

that would have been an all-time Adventure Zone live show moment we actually would have had to stop the show because it wouldn't have gotten any better after that dad's character by the way is Pep Sturdley aka Doc Pantheon and finally rounding out

and their team name strangely we determined at the end of the last justice was 402 friends. Or the 402 best friends? Yeah. Because, yeah, because How Raven turns into 400 birds. It's kind of my thing. Opera Man is an opera genius with the powers of echolocation,

time distortion, and astral projection. He is the world's greatest singer. He is in no way related to Joe Lunchpail, who is a regular guy who loves regular things like beef and guitars. He is also not related. to Adam Sandler's beloved S&L character, Opera Man. Please welcome to the stage Joe Lunchpail, aka the other opera man.

Yes, it's me, Joe Lanchpail, a regular guy who doesn't know anything about the beautiful opera. The one thing I am going to be determined not to be as aggressive towards my dad as I was in the first justice, and I'm off to a strong start. The Summer Sun,

shines down on Town City, USA. The birds are singing. Somewhere, children swing on a big company brand swing set. On the surface, all seems right with the world. But there is no peace in Town City, USA. An army has descended upon this thriving metropolis, a swarm of humanity, tens of thousands, all headed towards the same destination.

Big Company Comic-Con. If you could not use the word swarm when describing humans, It's like birds don't get a whole lot of cool shit. Wait, do birds swarm? Bees and birds are basically the same animal, which I know because I can talk to them. Oh, fair enough.

Yes, it's time once again for BCCC. Well, technically, the full title of the event is Big Company presents an event focused on comic books, merchandise, and pop culture news all in one place, but that takes too long. As a reminder, Big Company, Inc. is the number one employer, town with branches in just about every industry imaginable. People come from across the world to attend BCCC.

Some come seeking that one missing issue that will complete their collection. Some are hunting for an elusive action figure with the rare blue mask instead of green. Others are hoping to catch a glimpse of a movie star or their favorite superhero. You're really putting everyone at San Diego Comic-Con in their place right now. That's it. That's all you've got. Well, enjoy your blue action. figure. I'm not done.

Oh, sorry. A few are just here because they love convention hall chicken tenders. There you go. Yeah, that's me. There amongst the throng, we find three familiar faces. Pep Sturdly, aka Doc Pantheon, Dale Craven, aka Hell Raven,

and Joe Lunchpale, aka Opera Man. Pep, Del... You have to say opera man in a way where it doesn't sound like Aquaman. Opera man. Two different things. Opera man. Upper aband. There we go.

Instead of Akawamay. No, see, now I'm confused. Pep, Del, and Joe, after each winning a pair of BCC passes in an essay contest, you find yourself in line at badge pickup. Weirdly, I have written my essay. Oh, please read it.

No, no, no, that was a joke. I know. Oh, I've got mine. Who did each of you decide to bring as you were plus one to BCC I brought somebody very close to me

it is the Robin to my Batman it is my ward and and he's my

dipshit nephew also I have brought the Grackle aka Kenneth Craven excellent I wonder if anybody has a ward

named Ward definitely Burke Ward Bird. Played award. Okay, this is, who is this for? We're sitting in front of Comic-Cod and I'm going to say,

who is this joke for? All right. If it's not for them, who could it possibly be for? It was for me and dad. Let us happen. Dad, who did you bring? It's your plus one.

Pep brought Peggy Pantheon, his sister. whose real name is Peggy Sturdley, but you can see why she went with the other. And she serves as his social media person because he does not get the whartle. He doesn't know how to do the whortle. Yeah.

Have you really sort of spent the time necessary to put yourself in that sort of headspace to really embody this character? What were some of the things you did to sort of prepare for this role? Number one, I watch a lot of videos. Okay. With Will Whitten. And...

Stop. Okay. You're good. And opera man? Yes. Who did you bring us your plus one? I brought him my roommate. You know, you know Cornflake?

Yes. He's my roommate, Cornflake. He's a beautiful, so beautiful mind and a regular guy just like me. Named. He asked me, we have a fantasy football league. He said, just a me and conflict. Hey, can't complain. I am in second place.

God, what a normal guy joke that was. And as you wait in line to pick up your badges, don't forget, you have that two o'clock appointment for an escape room. And you can't miss it because that's where the show ends. that's where the podcast takes time. Yeah, it's kind of like the second act of the show. Sure, sure, sure, sure. You need to go to it and don't miss it, okay? It's kind of important to me that DM.

So I've written down some secrets that will now be revealed to the players. If you will all pick up the cards that are number one. Oh, good. Okay. Yeah? Okay. Pep, you are jostled with a, strong push saying, hey, hurry up, man. You turn, and it's Ving Ringer. You're a posing daycare worker

slash Doc Pantheon's biggest friend. Or biggest fan. Hurry up. You got to go, Pep. Greetings, Ving. How's your convention going so far? What a stirred thing to say. Oh, God, this fucking guy. I'm going. No, now, now. He's okay. He's just a little hormonal. That is true, but also I don't like you. Both things can be true at once, sir. Now, give me cutcies. I can't. That would be against the rules.

And you know Pep Sterly's way is the rule-following way. That's true. I'm on Vang's side. We're supposed to be best friend? I mean, whoever you are. Our superheroes are best friends. Yeah, do we know each other? Hello?

Well, you guys can say what was on the cards. Well, no, are we friends, are, is Joe Lunchpail friends with Pepsardly? That's not up for me to determine. I'm, I believe canonically, no. Okay. But Opera Man, Hell, Raven, and Doc Pantheon are thick as thieves. Okay. They're the 402 best friends.

Yes. Hmm. Oh, okay. I happen to know that Joe Lunchpail is. Opera man. Yeah. No. Opera man.

Thank you. And what is your say, Griffin? What? What is this? I know that Doc Stoodle as Doc Pantheon. And I, in turn, know that Del Crafen is Hell Raffin. Yes, but you don't know the other. It's important to note.

That's all you know. Okay. Okay. All right. All right. Anyways, now that you guys got that figured out, back to me, Ving Ringer. Anyways, give me cutsy. So where else I'm going to wedge you so hard, you'll split in half.

Listen, Ving. I know that you're anxious to get inside the convention because they've got a Dawson's Creek reunion and you can't wait to see it that's fine. Hey, hey, hold on, wait, hold on. Are you being for real right now? Yes, I have to go to the bathroom right now. It's not for many hours, you're fine, you're not going to miss it.

Yeah, it's going to be a while. That's why I was trying to talk Bing down off the ledge. Sure, sure. Okay, never mind. I thought it would be a fun scene, but you all shit on it so fast and hard. You're right, guys. That wouldn't have been fun. Hey, Griffin, you can go to the bathroom if you want.

No, it's too late. The line is seven hours long. Okay, sir, you're going to give me cutcies or what? I'm not. I'm not, and you know why I'm not? Here he goes. Because that wouldn't be fair to my friend, Joe Lunchpail.

Joe Lunch Pail. A regular. guy, just like you. Because if I give you cutseys, then you're going to be in front of him, and that puts him one person back further in the line, and that will not stand. Okay, I mean, I'm going to beat up both of you.

Oh, no. How did I get to wrap up into this? I thought I was going to watch another regular guy give the wedgy. It's a funny, so funny. I mean, you could help me wedge him. Yeah, absolutely. I help you wedge him.

Okay, I'm going for the wedge. Can I do something? Yeah. Can I mind control? our friend here, Ving. Vinger, yes. And just start making him say really affirming things to my two friends.

Yeah, so are you going, this would be showing off. Give me a show off roll, roll two dice. Okay. That is bad. That's of nine, which is too high. Okay.

You perform the action with an unexpected level of force. Okay. And Ving says, you know what? I love you guys. that's cool I want to

I want to move in with you guys I can see that I was wrong this whole time and you're both regular guys and I think we should be roommates and best friends I'm signaling behind their backs like this isn't sincere do not agree to that

do not agree to that I know Cornflake's got my back and Cornflake just thumbs up he's a quiet guy Cornflank wait we don't you want to move with me cornflake? I'm moving with whichever one of you left. We do not live together.

You in cornflake? The three of us. Oh. You can live with me in cornflake, though. You seem all right. Thanks, man. I'll have to tell my wife and kids that we've been pretty bummed out. Well, they can live with me. I got the bad news. Wait, hold on. I'm back to hating you. She just said my wife and kids could move in with you.

I love you so much. In fact, I'm going to beat people up in front of you so you can move to the front of the line quicker. Cool. It was only one person. It was fine. Hey, do it. Can you one do a silly dance? Yeah, you got to. All right, stop. He's a crab.

I'm a crab man. I feel bad about that. Oh, because you controlled my will. Do you a silly dance? It was a suggestion. That's fair. You didn't use any. powers, did you? You just got to ask and I did it. Okay, I'm going to go now. Yeah, that's best.

I got to go be in another game across town. You may get through the line. They are curious when you get to the front Opperman, you show them your ID, and it just is a card that you've written Joe Lunchpole on. They're a little confused by that. It's like a little, yeah, it's like a little next card. Yeah. It says Joe Lunchpail, a regular guy. Yeah. But it's valid. It's valid. They scan it. It's nice. So now you head out on the floor. I'll stick to you.

And you are on the hunt for merch. What are you looking for, Doc? Looking for the vintage Doc Pantheon costume for my Captain Action figure. You can't find it on eBay. Okay. Why did you say that to me like I was about to go look? I mean, I thought you would probably. try to get it for me.

You know, it's a wonderful party gift. It's not real, though, Dad. I had somebody make it on Etsy, and it just wasn't. And then they put it on eBay. And they turned around and put it on eBay. Yeah. That's very frustrating. That's what I'm hoping for.

I want to find that and maybe a replacement hand for the Captain Action. Because it fell off. Yeah. Well, it's 50 years old. It's not real. Yeah, but we want them to be engaged. With the emotions. Right, right, right.

Yeah. Say all of you now. Thank you. It's very satisfying. Foot fell off too. I don't know that the stakes have ever been higher on this show. Yeah. Now, Del, you are on the hunt because your six-year-old daughter whose name is...

That's awesome. That's an awesome question. It's awesome that you asked that. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, because you were telling me backstage. I thought you had a great one. I was like, juice, juice, juice. Listen to this.

Listen. Our name is. Kel Lydie. Kelsey. Kelsey. Kelsey. Kelsey. I got to write that down.

I'll never remember. Kelvin. Kelf. It's not, it's not Kelsey. And it really annoys her when people say that. It's like, it's like Chelsea and. Kelsey. Kelsey.

Come on. Kelsey. Kelsey. Kelsey. Kelsey. Kelthy. Kelf. I want to change my daughter's name.

Okay? No, no, no, it's okay. Who are you changing it to? She goes by her middle name, which is... It's this kind of yes and power that really... I just feel bad for the person named Kelthy in the audience. I was like, God damn it, that was my shot to get in the show. Chel...

Chelan... Her name is... Chelany? No, no, no. It's just Cheleney. No, chelany is the middle. name. I'm not undoing it. All right, Kelsey Chelanee Craveh. Oh my God. It's a good name.

Just call her Kelthy. You are on the hunt for Bogachan. You're saying that correctly? Yeah, it's a great little hamburger man. He's a hamburger man who solves everyone's problems with his variety of hamburger condiments. Yeah, and every episode, you're like, how's he going to get out of this one? And then

he'll be like, mustard. Yeah. I love his can't phrase of, it's time to catch up. And it's always good. But he always says that whenever he hangs out with a friend, he hasn't seen in a while. Yeah, sure. But unfortunately, so far, you have not been able to find any Bogachan. Would it be helpful if I had better perspective on the, on the, you know, the show floor? Perhaps. Okay. I really am. I'm going to the bathroom this time. But I'm always watching. I'll go with you. No.

Well, I mean, you need somebody to hold your stuff. I do it different. I do it really wild. Okay? Hey, also, dad, for reference, when someone's going to the bathroom saying, do you need someone to hold your stuff? Could be a very confusing question. Especially when someone is in cosplay.

People hate the sound I do. Okay? Leave it. That reminds me when we were here last time, we saw a guy. in the men's room wearing a Spider-Man costume that zipped up the back. Yeah.

Trying to use a urinal. He walked over the urinal and we got to see Spider-Man and do this. It was great. Also, the Joker was there. The Joker was there and he was rubbing his hands like, it worked. I saw, I was bummed out today. I saw Spider-Man with an anti-vaccine sign.

No. I hope that's not their ring. I know. I hope it's not the real one. Yeah. That would be a bummer. Well, I'm going to walk behind

a booth or something and then shout, where this big bird come from? Also, I'm disappearing. And I'm going to transform into a bird. Okay, roll to super.

Yeah. That is 1D6. Awesome. Okay. That's a 2. Oh, so it works. It works with no glitches. You're now.

a giant bird. I'm a flamingo. Okay. Really tall. They can see way better. And I went scoping for the birch. You know that there are like birds that people use as reference for having good eyesight, right? And no one's ever said, ah, he has the eyes of a flamingo.

Okay, when was the last time you could pick out a brine shrimp from 20 feet away, Mr. Yeah. I did it this afternoon, Dad. You were there. You said you were proud of me. That was the first time you'd ever said it. And it was delicious. No, I'm not changing my mind now.

I'm a Flamingo. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, it's Comic-com. People are just going to be like, whoa. Could you look at card number two, please? Fucking jerk. Yeah, you can read that one out loud too. Due to the dark nature of your powers,

they do not always function correctly if exposed to bright lights. Don't worry. You all have one. Okay, now you're a flamingo. And then what? Well, I can only turn into birds. So, oh God. I turn into a...

Wait, so the flamingo is just for effect? It's like anamorphs. It goes from Del Crayven to a flamingo to a different bird. I turn into a vulture. Okay. What else was... What were my options, trawomen? Oh, I just want to know what you're going to do as the bird.

I don't care what kind of bird you are. Okay, how about this? I turned back into Del Craven up in the sky. And I just grab a beam like, whoa. Okay. From this vantage point, you do see a very rare Raghachan. It is the second prize in the cosplay contest. It's the rare stuffy, which features him with mayonnaise.

That wasn't used in a lot of episodes. so hard to find that one. This will fix it. Allow me. Not again, John. You're not allowed in this restaurant anymore. Manez fixes very few problems,

to be fair. Unless you've chopped up too much celery and potato, and you're like, what do I do now? Oh, nice. Manez. Sweet. Well, I start looking for a way down. Okay.

Is there like a big booth with a lot? of other plush toys? Yeah. I'm just jumping to that. All right, great. Roll two. I don't want anyone to see me. Blend in.

Yeah. Oh, that's painful. That was three dice. It was a six. Oh, that was so close. I know. But when you hit, pooh, boom, boom.

Yeah, when you hit, it softened your blow, but it does basically explode all the stuffies. and the owner of the stand whose name is Aram. It turns to you guys, what? Stuffies! What did you?

I mean, I'm glad you're okay. Don't give me wrong. I'm glad that my stuffies gave their lives to save your life from falling from the rafters. I guess. I saw the whole thing that was horrifying. But my stuffies! Okay, wait. Pep uses his superpower of time control to go back 10 seconds.

Do you think I'm going to beat a six, Mac? It's... Well? No, the sixth still stands. To move things back 10 seconds. Uh-huh. Then he's going to use the speed of Hermes

to run over and get the mayonnaise thing out of the way. Okay. The man... No, the mayonnaise thing is fine. Bagachan with this horrible mayonnaise is okay. Oh, then what are we worried about? Aaron's livelihood, you monster. He handcrafted those stuffies.

Him and his dad, just before his dad passed away, made all those stuffies together, and it was the last thing he had, one, to remember his dad, and two, to save the family farm. And you crushed them. I stand up, and I hand him $25,000. Where did that come from?

Me. To you now. No, but like, is this real money? It's right. I pick up a stack of bills and bite him. I don't really do cash. Could you VINMO me? It shows that cash is notoriously pretty germy.

You did just bite it after all. Yeah, and I'm already sort of feeling the effects of that decision. Listen, I could do a thing to make you accept the cash, but it's going to make me seem like kind of a bad guy. You know what then? I'll just take the cash. I think that would be smoother. Cool.

Okay. Now, PEP, you see the Captain Action suit for Doc Pantheon, but it's priced pretty high. $25,000. If only you had a friend with that kind of cash. Hey, Adele, listen, you wouldn't happen to have another 25 G's on you, it? Anything you need, brother. Awesome, Randy Macho Man. I'll take another 25,000 then.

You need even more than that because anything you need, anything you need, I've definitely got you for life, bud. There are implications in what you're saying. The implication is, why are you touching me?

He knows that you're Doc Pantheon, but you don't know that he, do you understand? Oh, yeah. Yeah, so that's why he... All right, is it worth $25,000 to you to know the secret identity of opera man. That actually sounds great to me.

I've always wondered who that beautiful... I have no idea what they're talking about, so I'm just giving me a thumbs up. Like, yeah, all right. Cornflake, did you know? And Cornflake goes, thumbs up. Now, the grackle tugs on your cave and says, Hey, um, Uncle Dale? I do, I'll be...

I straight up forgot you were here. Yeah, I get that. That happens a lot. Should you just be giving away money like that? I mean, listen, I know that your college fund had about $50,000. I wasn't going to say anything, but it is suspicious. But hey, what's three times six?

Let's see. So, like 15? Yeah, you're fine. You don't need any more school. You're fine. Awesome. Opera man is on the lookout for boot. Oh, gross.

It says here, obscure operas. Bootlegs of obscure operas. Real nasty shit. is what Jocelyn has written. Yeah, that's for my weird dad. You see it. That's a good one. Which one is it?

A bootleg you've always been looking for. Which is? The opera of the Phantom. Oh. It's the opera version of the Billy Zane movie. Don't you mean Zillie Bane? No, I don't, Dad. I would never do that to Billy Zane.

It's an extremely good joke, Travis, and I salute you. Oh, man, my weird. Dad would love that. This is a classic. Oh, no, sorry. Hey, hey, I can't let this one go. It's too hot for TV. It shouldn't have even been on the table.

Why did you even bring it? My damn shit kid must have slipped it in the box. He's always trying to get rid of this one. But this one's my favorite, and it would be irresponsible of me to let it out into the public. The damage it could do to Billy Zane's career. Oh, this is the version with Billy Zane. Nice. Yeah.

They cast Billy Zane. in both words. Have you ever heard that man sing opera? It's bad. My dad is the completest. He loves it when people's... What happens in the opera? I don't see people sing or...

Sure, man. I got to have it, though. Can I have it? Just give it to me. It's $25,000. Oh, you're kidding. Okay. I'm going to use time distortion and reach into the past and take the $25,000 before dad can use it on his action figure. You guys are having a time battle.

I'm using the power of time distortion. You need to see the beautiful white-fingered glove reach through the portal and take the cash and reach back the mortal closes. And you hear somebody say, Grazie! Roll to super, one die. It's a three. Works without problem. Sorry, Dad.

I use my power of time control. Yeah. To go back just before he paid his $25,000. To air him? To air him. The man who lost his father and might lose the farm? Don't care. Listen, he got a shout out on the show.

His fortune is made. Yeah. Okay. He rolled a one. A one. A one. Really good. Yeah.

Sorry, Aaron. You want your dieback? But now he doesn't have the 25 Gs he needs. Okay, wait. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. We have two 25,000s and three people who needs them.

There's got to be a way we can make this mathematically makes sense. Okay, now it actually works out because the guy who owns the bootleg opera thing owes Aram $25,000. Perfect. It worked out great. So here, let's have a little cutscene. Hey, Aram, I got some good news. I got that $25,000.

That's not how he sounded. Oh, okay. Aram, I got some good news. Whoa. That does sound like a bootleg video guy. I got the $25 grand you wanted. Somebody beat Aram. But then Aram's like, dope.

I have $50,000 now. and I missed my dad. Stop it. Okay. There's an awful lot of dead dad references in this show. Now wait. I see all this happening. I'm going to use my powers of time distortion again

to go back and save Aram's dad. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good, go for it. Real quick, though. I'll just do it real quick. Yeah, awesome. I want to reappear like almost the second I left, okay?

Yeah. And I roll a three again. Yeah, it works with. And I shove him out of the way the bus. Yeah. And he falls into the mouth of a lion. Now, when I see Aram, I say, hey, this is no problem for me, a regular guy just trying to help. But the thing is, you owe me $50,000.

I will collect the time of my choosing goodbye. And then I'm sucked back into the present. Yeah, but see, now Aram's not there. Yeah, his dad never died. Okay, so wait. So that means that. Also, so Hell Raven fell on to. the hard concrete floor of the convention center.

Joe, Joe, pay attention. There's velociraptors everywhere. Wait. We've been through a lot of sticky messes, my friend, but I don't know how we're gonna beat this one. I use my power of flight and catch him in midair. Yes.

Okay, roll to Super. I can't read. It's a five. It's a five. No, that's successful. Oh, yay. Woo! Not only do you do it, you do it so fast.

that no one sees you do. It's amazing. And as I, like, Del starts singing, can you read my mind? Sorry, that's really deep cut. Have you all been doing time stuff again? Maybe.

No. To a lunch show reaches up with a cyborg hand. I am, as always. Regular guy. It could happen to you. You're all grown up, now, a professional adult with diverse interests and hobbies, and one of those hobbies is video games.

You just can't help it. They're so good now. If that's you, we're here to tell you, you are completely normal. I'm Maddie Myers. I'm Jason Shire. And I'm Kirk Hamilton, and together we form Triple Click, a podcast about video games. If you think you might be a person who likes video games, we hope you'll give Triple Click a listen. Triple Click, new episodes every Thursday on Maximum Fun.

Hey, kid. Your dad tell you about the time he broke Stephen Dorff's nose at the kid's choice awards. In Dead Pilot Society, scripts that were developed by studios and networks but were never produced are given the table reads they deserve. When I was a kid, I had to spend my Christmas break film in a PSA about angel dust. So yeah, being a kid sucks sometimes. Presented by Andrew Reich and Ben Blacker, Dead Pilot Society twice a month on Maximumfun.org.

show you like that hobo with the scarf who lives in a magic dumpster? Doctor who? Um, so the only way for you to get your, uh, Bagachan prize is to enter the cosplay context. We have bigger fucking fish to fry right now. I don't think we do. Okay, hold that way. I use my powers of animal control to make all the velociraptors quietly. Why are they velociraptors?

Yeah, where they come? No, because you changed the past and now there's a lostraptus. Yeah. Okay. Seems like kind of a unilateral decision you made to introduce. You're the one who unilaterally fucking saved Arim's dad. from that bus. And also what you didn't know,

Aram's dad is a serial killer. Wow. All right. Yeah, so... With great power, Justin. Aram's contribution of dice seems a lot less special now you know I saved his dad's life.

Can I approach the sign-up sheet for this cosplay contest? Yeah. Okay. I'm not going to make you roll for that. What's your movement speed? Justin makes a good point. It is 40 feet away. You'll have to do it on your next turn.

Okay. Hello. I'd love to get up on this art artist. Okay, the entry fee is $25,000. No, I'm just kidding. It's free to sign up. It's great, but the contest doesn't start to win. Can y'all make it be one?

All right, I use more power time of control and it becomes one a clock. It's 1230 now. It says, go do something else. No, no. I don't want to miss. 30 minutes of my life. Give 30, I could meet that special

somebody. I don't know. Well, speaking of meeting that special someone, during that time, you are now right next to the autograph, Meet and Greet area. Okay. And you see, Del, you see that Penumbra is there, who is your superhero,

your hero. You see Pep that Lackery Z-Vine from the Pantheod movie is there. Oh, he's starting oh shit. Yeah. And Auberman, there he is. Aging martial artist star Buck Springfield. Yeah, just a regular guy, a macho man I can really look up to.

A real beefsteak boy like me, Joe Lunchpole. I fight off the temptation to go and introduce myself and embarrass myself because I need to win this plushy. You're focused on the plushy. I'm a good, hey, you're a good dad to Kelty. Thanks. I'm a bad person. So I start running around, spending my, the remainder of Kenneth's inheritance on costume pieces.

Now, what are you dressing as? Because I guess I just thought you would dress as hellraper. I'm literally just supermarket sweeping down the cosplay aisle, just grabbing shit and throwing stacks of future college money at every booth that I, I understand. So I've got Iron Man stuff and

Pikachu and a lot of Sonic the Hedgehog. I actually hit the Sonic the Hedgehog booth and I try it on and I'm like back up and go back to the Sonic booth. I'm like, all right, let me get the shoes. Let me get the gloves.

Are you enlisting Kenneth in your cosplay contest? Dreams? He can zip up the back. Okay. What an honor Yeah Ouch What's wrong with you

Sorry I love you I love you too Okay Okay But get it But get it the fuck together Kenneth

Uh Pep You You reached the front of the line To meet Lacqueray From the oh shit movie Keep it together

Keep it together I have I have cards For Justin and Gris Griffin here. Oh, man. No, you would think also that I would have met him already because he'd start in a movie. He started in a movie that was based on my character.

So wouldn't I have, wouldn't I know him? Well, you weren't allowed on set, but you were giving a lot of notes during the process. And the director, uh, Porten Giel was like, uh, this is, I, since there's too many cooks, I'm going to need you to not ever come around here again. Hey, Fair. Pep, who is this guy you're talking to? This is a lacquery Zvi.

Oh, from where? He was in a show called Charles. It was a spy show. Oh, nice. And also, Pep, both Dell and Joe have told you many times. how much they loved the Oshed movie. Yeah, I run up in my Sonic, mostly Sonic Cosmo, almost entirely Sonic Cospo at this point.

And I'm like, yeah, dude, beats ass. I love how many asses he kicked. And, hey, I love how many asses he kicked. Yeah, I love that flick, man. If this guy helped a work on it, I would love to meet him. What is his name again? Lackarie Zvite. Hey, anybody that had a head in that movie

that I love us so much and I watch it so many times. I'm so thrilled. What's some of your favorite scenes? The one where they're all in the amusement park and things started and monsters. Oh yeah. Showing up. Yeah. I tried to tell him that he, you know, he would fly down and punch them.

Yeah. That was my note. Yeah. And instead, they brought in a bunch of other characters and stuff. Lagree Zevite looks up and says, oh, it's you. I'm a hundred feet back. You're not. Like?

You are not at all. You're at the front of my table. Okay. I was going in, you know, 32 to one scale. Hi. Listen. Lackery, I, I, I, um, call me Lack. Lack.

That's weird for somebody that has a restraining order against you, but okay. I'm still a cool dude. All right. All right, cool. Um, I wanted you to meet my friends, Joe. and Dirk Hey, what's a yurt, Dale? Not Dirk, Dirk, Delt.

It's so nice to be another regular guy I just like of myself. I'm not a regular guy. I'm a very tall, handsome movie star. Ah, yeah, the eyes, they did not to deceive me. You're a real beef kicker boy. I am now. I didn't use you. I was a nerd for a while like you.

That's so nice to hear. I have something to aspire to. At that point, Peggy Pantheon pipes up and tells me that it would really do my social media profile a wonderful deal. Hey Papin, would really do your social media profile a great deal if you would take a picture. Lack,

lack, was it? With lack. Yeah. As long as he doesn't touch me. Oh. Wait. Wait, what did you? We have been on the other side of this so many times. That has never been a deal breaker.

So I was like, I can't touch him. Bye. What did you have planned? Well, I mean, I don't want to to look like it's Photoshopped. I was hoping we'd... I'll touch this guy. I think his name was Joe, and then he could touch you.

That's all very good with me. Okay. Can Dell get in the picture, too? I guess. Because that's more hashtag hashtag stuff. Okay. Is that right? Hashtags?

Yeah. I thought they were just regular guys. They are regular guys. That's why I called them by their civilian names. But not their superhero name. Can I get clarification on something? Yeah. Is this for PEP?

Are these photos in fiction? Yeah. For the social media accounts of big company employee PEP Sturley? Correct. So he's got... What do you have going on PEP? They require brand management. Maybe they made the movie.

They had to pay Doc's representative PEP for the rights. Okay. Okay. I've negotiated it. And also, I don't know if you guys have noticed, pep isn't great at keeping a secret. Sure. So Lackery knows that this stock band the other.

He just doesn't care. Okay. And the fact that we bear such a striking resemblance to each other. So are we taking the picture or what? Yeah, let's do the picture. I've got a line. Yeah. What is it?

No, it's a people. Oh, I thought, okay, I thought you had what, okay, I thought you had a line. Are we doing back at the back or a finger A finger gun? A finger gun works for me. That's a cool. How about back-to-back finger guns?

The coolest look. There's four of us. I hope I can pull it off. Well, okay. We'll go back to front. That's like a Charlie Angels. I love it. Yeah.

All right. You get on my shoulders. Me? Yeah. Okay. How big do you want me to be? How big can you be? Pretty big.

Yeah. You ever had a flamingo on your shoulder? Yeah, I have. I'm a rich, famous movie star. Okay, everybody say prunes. Say what? Prunes, it makes you more handsome in photos. Famous movie stars like I know that.

Okay. Do you always, are you always like this? Only when I didn't get a full 14 hours of sleep. Prune. Proon. Good show. Okay, hold on. a second. Just everything stop a second.

Like the show? Wait. Okay. When we first started talking about this, I really thought Travis would use his showbiz connections and have the real Zachary Levi come out at this point. Hey, Dad. No. You think he'd burn it on

this? Not only would I not do that to have Zachary Levi walk out on stage for a minute, I guess. But also, I've been talking about him a lot. The show, a thing I would not do if he was all-stage going. No, don't do it. Okay, now, Travis, I do have to say,

posing for a photo, like three regular guys seems like a very mundane thing to do. That is correct, Justin. Everyone is going to roll three D-6s. Three? Yeah. Oh, man. How do you glitch? Oh, also, Dell, go ahead and check Dell number two,

your card, or sorry, Doc, look at PEP number two and read that aloud. due to the nature of your powers, high-tech stuff around you can go haywire. Okay, so Peggy's taking a picture with her smartphone. Let's roll. All right. Oh, God, a seven.

I keep getting so close on these 3D6s. I have eight. One, seven, ten. Okay, we're fine. Okay, there's a glitch for each of you. You. Yay! So you get on his shoulders, Del. Yeah.

You go to turn into a cool bird like a macaw or a parrot. How the fuck was he going to cover that? How is that a regular... Yeah, I wasn't actually going to do that. But I am dressed as song like a hedgehog. That is what happens now. Now your parrot dresses songs a hedgehog. But just as the photo snaps.

What scale? What scale? What scale? Large. Lard. The suit still fits. Let's sort of that way. Got it.

He is a Dell. Phaired. Dressed as Sonic. Yes, the headshot. Gotta go fast. Yeah, and the prophecy is coming true.

The last piece has fallen into place. For you... I don't know if you guys just saw but Steven Spielberg just walked out the back door like, yes. I have to go now. That's it.

It's still fresh in my mind. Hey, is this Steven Soderberg? Yeah, I'm on the Steve group chat with you. I just cracked Sonic 3. Get the Gutenberg on here. Get Gutenberg on here. Hey, what you guys got cooking?

Hey, Steve Austin, I told you never to call me. That said, I got a perfect part for you. How do you know about being a parrot? No, stop calling Steve Austin. Oh, wrong Steve Austin. Not the $6 million man. Christ, you're old. Now for you, opera man, you pose so normal and hard that you freeze in place for three minutes.

and you, Pep, the phone explodes in Becky's hands. But she has the backup phone because this has happened before. Does she have backup hands? Now, her hands are fine. She has superheroes too. Oh, I didn't know that.

I didn't either. You based her off of Mary Marvel. Oh. You told me that. Jesus Christ. All right. I gotcha. Can I look over and see if

Penumbra just clocked the fact that I've turned into a comically large parrot dressed as... Hey Griffin, she did. Damn it. But she looks... I'm going to say bumused. Not quite a-mused, but B-mused. Ah, no, C-mused. I hopped down and waddle over.

And I say, I'm a different guy than the one that was there. Zachary Levi was a magic trick. Lackery Zevye. Whatever. I saw what happened. Uh-oh. What do you mean? I saw your powers glitch just getting started, huh?

Sadly, no. Oh, man. Wait, you've been a... You've been a super for a while? Well, 19 years this July. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Yeah.

I know. You know, I've got a helpful manual I could sell you that might... I already have it. I live by it. Oh, no. Do you want to turn back into a person? Don't know how. I'll take care of it.

Are your powers based on the dark like mine? Yeah. Okay, I'll fix you. It's a little bright. What? It's a little bright. It's a little bright. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That happens to me, too. Was it a flash on the camera that got you? Yeah. Yeah, that I always gets me too. You got to be careful with that. And I was also, I was feeling cute. Hey, hey, there's nothing wrong with that.

Yeah, but then I turned it to a bird, right? Yeah. You were sitting on someone's shoulders? Yeah. Yeah. We've all been there. Hey, keep your chin up, kid. So is it like a potion I drink or what?

Oh no, sorry, I forgot. I just was really into the parrot, just as Sonic for a minute. And she snaps her fingers. And you're dull again. Tada. No, sorry. Del Craven does that to everyone else.

Tadda. Yeah, that was me, Pannumbra. I was using my magic to do that. Yes. Shouldn't it have been, dun dun, dun, dun. Oh, because you're Adele. That's actually pin game inside, I think.

Jesus, please. Intel inside, yeah. Dude, you're turning into Adele. Justin, you okay over there? Oh, yeah, you froze for three minutes. Now I remember, seeing all of this. That is very impressive, John. That is, really.

Buck Springfield walks over and like, what is going on over here? Oil can. I'm sorry, what was that, young man? And three minutes ends. I'm a regular guy like a you. Yeah, it seems like you're on your way to being a regular guy.

I love all of your movies that I have watched, which is all of them. Oh, yeah? What's your favorite one? Oh, what's your favorite three? Okay. Mr. Kung Fu. Oh, that's one of the best ones, yeah.

That's the number one for me, the best one that I have us ever seen. The second one is, of course, Dragon Challenge. Yeah. I love this one. Did you get, because it's like I challenge a dragon, but also I'm overcoming my own challenges. Yes, heroin addiction. Very good. Yeah.

Meaningful to me. I love this movie. Like any other regular guy, like me, that doesn't know anything about opera. Oh, really? I love opera. Sorry, come again.

I love opera. I have varied taste. I enjoy kicking ass, and I eat a lot of meat. Whatever meat I can get my hands on, really. But, man, I love the opera. But I thought you were a regular guy. Yeah, regular guys can love opera,

or they can. you know, be gardeners or whatever. It doesn't really matter. Fucking hell. Yeah, man. This is so weird for me. Yeah? I never expect.

Buck Springfield is a weird, though. I never thought of this. Hey, but I'm a normal guy and I make a Buck Springfield. I'm like super, like most normal compared to this. You know, it seems like you need a bit of a chat, my friend. Here, why don't you share a glass of milk with me? And we can talk about being regular guys.

I'm going to need you to flip over Joe, too, please. Oh, yeah. Consuming dairy makes you flimmy and impacts your powers. Okay. I would love to share the milk with you. But sadly, I cannot do this. Oh, I just thought you were a regular guy. I am, but like many regular guys, it's very common.

Lactose, no like. I heard that was, that's made up. that I heard. Yeah, me, me too. I thought this for a long time. So let's milk out, my friend. Okay, here you go. Are you like a whole milk man and a two percent man? Yeah, I'll drink all the milk you got the whole bottle. Okay, here you go, big guy. Oh, boy, I love this white stuff. Let me just to smell it. And now I'm going to drink it within my mouth. That's how we do it. Just like a regular person does it. Yep.

I'm going to use astral projection. So I don't have to be present for the consumption of milk. Okay. Roll to blend in. How many is that? It's three. Fuck me. Okay.

That is going to be in 13? No boy. Yikes. Is that good? Well? What's your armor class? That means that your glitch is. supercharged beyond your control.

Okay. So you go to do the astral projection, but then the milk hits your formless body and you're sucked right back into your present and the milk goes in your mouth and you feel weakened. You feel weakened

by the flimmy nature of your throat and you find yourself, you can't seem to sing currently. You're so flimmy, you can barely clear your throat. He hasn't sung, like, the whole time we've been here. Is that such a...

No, actually, a lot of people don't know this. Opper Man is always singing inside his minds. Okay. And the lactose intolerance effects... Yeah. Okay, fine. He's not actually lactose intolerant. I don't hurt his tum time.

Because they paid to be here, I'm not going to pretend to have flimmy problems. Yeah. Because sonically, you don't deserve that. Agreed. Can we all agree, but in your mind's eye. And as you are finding it difficult to speak, Buck Springfield leans in and says, The Siren sends her regards.

And then he walks away. Yeah. That's your arch nemesis. I know. Yeah. Of course. Obviously. Yeah.

Here you go. Wait, hold on. I bet I know what this fucking card says. Yeah. You and Siren attended... Okay, can I read this? Yeah. You and Siren attended Juilliard together.

You were valedictorian over her. Now, wait. Who attended Juilliard? Joe Lunchpail or Upper Man? This is important. Originally, it was Oppermann. Because in this universe, Juilliard is just for superheroes.

You have thwarted me again, both Springfield. I'm walking away. I can't hear you, actually. I'm walking away. Wait. Nope. I'm not going to walk away. Okay.

I wish you wouldn't. Okay, I'll see you around. Bye. That's a weird thing to say after you said that cold sheep about silence. I know, but you keep talking to me and now it's weird. You're not walking away. I want to, though. You keep responding. Okay, now I'm definitely going to walk away.

Doesn't sound like it. Oh, man. Okay, I'm walking away. Hey, wait, come back. Yeah? What are you still doing here, man? God damn it. Okay, so it's time for the cosplay contest.

There's some pretty good costumes here. A lot of people dressed as superheroes, their favorite superheroes. There's a pretty convincing Thunder from Down Under. There's someone who might just be the real no-holds-barb. You see two really bad Hell Ravens. And someone who just might be the actual Piano Man. Yeah, Piano Man. He's a superhero in this universe.

It's not. It's not Billy Joel. I was like, I can't think of anything. At least that he wants you to think. I can't think of anything fucking funnier than if somebody shows up to a cosplay contest. And it's like, yeah, this is what Billy Joel wore. They got red wine stains on their shirt

and shattered glass off of their hair. Yeah. Okay. It's a pretty good crowd at the cosplay show. No. There can't be more to that song. And just a reminder, you're aiming for the second place prize. What are the judges?

What are the, is it like the total crowd vote or around the house? So you have three judges. Okay. Two people who are actual like cosplay professionals. Okay. And then one guy who's a podcast influencer. What are their names again, Trave? Yeah, what are their names?

There's, uh, there's cutie pop. by, uh, Giti Pai Sente, and there's, uh, someone from Downing Creative Studios. Kelfi.

And then there's Travis McElroy. Okay. So it needs to be something Travis McElroy hates, but the other two love in order to get second place. Sure. And you know I love Sonic,

so it ain't that, but I love that little blue guy and how fast he is. I use my telepathy. No, no, no, I got this. To read, oh, you got it. Okay. Read my mind right now, though.

do it. This is what you hear. I love chicken tenders. I mean, I'd eat the fuck out of some chicken tenders if I could right now. And I'd tell anyone that for free. They don't even have to roll to find out I love chicken tenders. Yeah. I didn't make you roll because I was worried you get a super glitch

and my brain would explode. Yeah. And it can't finish this is true. Your last thought would be like, I wonder what kind of dipping sauce? I mean, definitely ranch, right? I hope they don't try to give me honey mustard. It's not that I hate it.

It's just not my thing. Oh, sorry, the contest is starting. I got a band-diction. I run out on stage as fast as I can. Dressed in what? Sonic the hedgehog entirely. It's entirely Sonic the Hedgehog at this point. But the thing is, I just think he looks neat.

I don't really know anything about this stuff. And so I run out there. Kenneth tried to tell you. Kenneth tried to tell you. I got this, kid. No, but if you want to, you're like, No, I got this. Hush, this is important to me.

I do it without any help at all. Okay. It's just that I wrote my dissertation on something. No, no, trust. Trust, this is going to rule. Hey, everybody, it's me, Sonic. Who's got the hot dogs to eat? I'm gonna go quick in my race.

Hoping my sports car Frum, frome, Frum, Frum, Mario is my best friend. I need 30 more seconds, please. Keep going. I haven't decided my score yet. Verse two. I use time distortion, so he has to do it again. Oh, no, a six.

He's stuck in a loom. Hey, everybody, it's me. And I use time control, so you have to do it twice as fast. Hey everybody, it's me, Sonic. I like to go real fast. I'm going to eat a million hot dogs. Hope you have hot dogs today. I am Mario's friend.

We have a dog together. That's great. I love it. Now, here's the thing. With Doc and Joe's help, you did too good. This is the problem. Fuck.

Right? You have a near perfect score. Now, luckily, there is one more person to go, Piano Man is going up there. How are you going to help Piano Man score better than you? Yeah, thanks. Yeah. I need to reveal something to you.

Oh, yeah? Because I think I can help. What's that? I, Joe Lentzapel. I'm opera man. I didn't know how to tell you, bud. But I'm opera man. I know.

You can imagine how much I must trust you to. reveal this information to you, but I've been opera man this whole time. This, of course, is my famous opera man voice, and this is what opera man's always sounded like. And I fucking love opera. So here's my idea, right? I'm going to sing, and as you know, I'm the most beautiful singer in the world. I'm going to sing while he's doing his bit in the style of William Joel, Dr. William Joel, excuse me. And I think we can put him over the top, bro. I need to reveal something to you Hold on, wait, do you know about my birthday

Say, hey, hey man Save your breath Hell Raven Yeah, okay Do we all, hold on, wait, can we have a quick Stop the cosplay contest! Okay I'm gonna go get some chicken to doze

Real quick company meeting Do we all know each other's shit at this point? I don't know. I mean, yeah, absolutely. I'm, I'm Opperman. Yeah. You're Hell Raven.

That's Pep Sterly, office nerd. So we all are on the same page about that, brother. Pep Sterly, is it like important to you that? Joe, operamant. Wow, I trusted you with that information for literally. 30 seconds before you blew my shit, straight to hell. Thanks, bud.

You're showing, what are you showing me? I knew. What? I knew that you, Joe Lunchbail, were offra mrs. Hey, are you guys done yet? No! Okay, damn. I can't, I know.

I always thought you were the most incompetent human being on the face of the planet, Pip. I'm really actually pretty jies that you figured that out. Good for you, brother. I got 25,000 for telling some people. buddy. You got shit. That's true, man. I gave away for free.

But I will always help out of brother. All right, so let's make this happen. Pep, Del. You got it. Are you guys done? Are you done now? Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. Does anyone want this last tender? Not you in the audience.

That's disgusting. By the way, this is a pretty good turnout for a cosplay contest. Yeah. All right. Go ahead. Go ahead, Billy. No, I'm Piano Man. Who's Billy?

Anyways, I'm going to come out. I'm going to strut the way Piano Man does, walk on my giant keyboard. Like the guy that was in Big. You guys seen in that movie? Big? Yeah, some big fans here. Oh, anyways, here's what I call my piano dance.

And I kind of sneak behind the curtains. I sneak behind the curtains and nobody's listening. No one's paying attention. And I watch and I try to get in sync with his groove. Yeah. All right. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Oh, yeah. Yeah. All right. I'm feeling his groove now. You look so much like an opera singer right now. That's actually so weird because I'm not, I'm, wait.

No, you really are. Love opera now. Am I? Because you both know. Yeah. So I don't have. God, this is fucking. This is a lot.

Okay. You never see that scene with like Batman and Superman. It's like, do you know? Wait, wait. What was your mom's name? That's crazy. Shit, that's crazy. Meets it.

What? Green Lantern, get in here. What's your mom's name? Ah, no, get out. Get out. Okay, so then the music, the music starts. And I feel like, The piano man's nervous, but then he just goes with it.

The three judges are weeping. Yeah. It's beautiful. I'm going to close my eyes and try to locate the nearest swarm of doves. Now, but then all of a sudden, Opera Man, you're very flimmy. I'm in a... Zimuk.

That was me using superpowers, though, right? Yeah, but I'm going to still have you roll two dice because of your flimmy current nature. I was showing off if you want to be six exactly. Oh, no. It's too good. What? It's too good. The song for that little bit.

And they're like, more. Why did you stop? Keep singing. Hey, keep singing. What, I don't know. You didn't say how much. How could you get us all pumped up like that piano man and then cut us off? not going to help your score. I have an idea.

Okay. I use the powers of Hephaestus of fire to do pyrotechnics. Yeah, what could fucking go wrong? So they'll know it's over. Okay. That's the big finish. Hey, please, do you

remember what your weakness is? No, I lost the card. Uh, high tech stuff. Well, that already happened once. What are the odds? Okay. Okay, I'll roll with disadvantage. Yeah, you will. How many guys you got there in your hand?

One. You're going to need to do two. Okay. Smart ass. Okay. Because I really had three. Have we succeeded once? This is going to be the first.

All right. I'm not even going to look. Let's see. Nope. No. Wow. That's an eight. That's an eight.

But you have disadvantaged, so it might get worse. Okay. So seven. Seven. All right. It got worse. Um, Yeah, you do that and someone sees you next to the stage, like doing it with your end.

They're like, are you doing that? You mean how good it looks? No, but like, there's no pirate techniques in the show. We didn't put anything there. It's pretty cool, huh? How are you doing that? I worked at Kings Island for a summer. I worked at Kings Island for the last 20 years.

I don't remember you. Jesus Christ. I was in the Peter Potomus costume. No, I was in the Peter Potomis costume. Okay. I was dark Peter Potomis. Oh, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, you know, the later years, the Frank Miller version.

Can I, can I do something? Yes, please. I look at Kenneth and make a quick series of hand signals that the crackle would know. But he definitely knows. Just sort of discreetly suggesting that he pull out his slingshot and smash all of the fluorescent lights over. overhead. Got it. He does it with a palm.

And a couple rocks. I'm gonna turn into 400 ravens. Okay. Between spouts of flay. Oh, okay. So that it's dark. And then my weakness doesn't hurt me. Yeah, roll one die for me, buddy.

Two. Yeah. Okay. Now, you succeed. To what end, though? The birds are going to get close, but not too close to the pyrotechnics and fly in a swarm that perfectly mimics

a terrible human face. And it shouts, You will give Piano Man first place. Or we will suffer upon you 100 plagues. Is this related to the parrot man's sign from earlier? No. We're a different bird thing.

Okay. Well, listen, we are not getting paid to judge this contest, so sure. Sounds great, angry bird face. What, you with the purple hair. What's that pee doing in your pants? It came out of my wiener because I was so scared, birdface fan. Do you want any chicken dinners, or is that offensive to birds? We are never making our escape room.

Oh, it's almost time to be the escape room. Yeah, I didn't realize you got it has an escape room appointment. Yeah, here you go. You get second place, Del Raven. Here's weird Mayo Boggachan. Hold on.

Wait, where's Del Craven? I don't see him anywhere. He just got, he had business. Put it in my bird mouth. Okay. Give it to the bird holding a knife. He's the one in charge. Okay, you got it.

Can I tell you the weirdest thing? This actually happened in a live show I ran once. That's pretty wild. Okay, you guys better get off to your escape room or you'll be late. Okay. Walk, walk, walk, walk.

You make it to the elevators. Can I roll to make sure that the bird with the knife doesn't attack track us back, right? Yeah. That's just one, right? I'm using my superpowers. That's a two. You're fine.

In fact, where it comes over, gives a little kiss on the cheek. You make it to the elevators and you separate. of course, Cornfield, Peggy, and the Grachall, who are definitely super important and have been all throughout this episode. They go into one elevator, and you two, or you three, go into the, well, you've 400 and two.

This right, have you changed back? Yeah, sure. Okay. You go into the other elevator, and as you go down in the elevator, you think about, I don't remember signing up for this. It's so weird that we just got, like, summons to come do an escape room. I'm pretty excited, though. I've heard good things about escape rooms.

I've never done one before. Oh, I also want to hand you this car, Griffin. Okay. Don't look at it quite yet. Why did you fucking hand it to me? You arrive and you realize, this doesn't look much like an escape room. This is the parking garage.

That's weird. And then you hear horrible laughter all around you. And stepping out from the shadows, you see the siren and the questioner and an army called techno rabble and Robert Pattinson. Griffin, please look at your card now. Yeah, me and Robert Pattinson have beef.

So I do have to ask, why did we feel it necessary to protect the identity of Zachary Levin? Quick, Travis, Robert Rattenson. Yeah. But real ass Robert Pattinson is in this arc. He knows what he did. Okay. Right on, okay.

And the siren steps forward. He says, so we meet again. Yeah. I'm not real enthused to see you, but whatever, man. Let's go. Okay, I just kind of, I was planning on more banter. No. We've got an escape room to get.

No, sorry, this is, sorry. The questioner steps up and says, this is the escape room, hellraven. Stop, what? Yes, you have to escape this room. Do you get it? Now I see why it was so affordable. Yet the passes were free.

But, okay, hold up. At any point, do we have to, like, go through a bunch of books? And then, like, one of them will have, like, oh, there's the king of diamonds in here. And that means we go look at the... That sounds cool as shit. I should have done that instead. But if you don't stop us, we will kill your friends.

And you see, the second elevator opens up, and they're dangling. It's cornflake. and the grackle all tied together over an open elevator shaft filled with like crocodiles and big spiders and lasers. Yes, we couldn't decide on which trap we were between the three of us. No, it'll get them. Yeah, and Robert Pattinson says, the lasers are my idea. Yeah.

Hey, takes a village, you know? Grackle might have slipped between those lasers and, uh, but the sharks are definitely going to eat that child. Are you being a smart ass again, Del? I'm sorry, hell, Raven. It's fucking funny that you actually said it wrong in that exact way. Hey, go fuck yourself, El Raven. Or my name isn't Robert Pattinson. I don't get an arch nemesis.

You do, the techno-rabble is your arch-nemesis. Techno-rabble? Yeah, it's like techno-babel, but it's techno-rabble because it's a big, like a gang of... Cyber? Yeah. Cyber. It's the big gang of cyber.

It's just like cyber people. They're wearing a lot of neon and cool shit. Like robot, like techno people. Yeah, they're like techno people because you're weak against technology. Okay. I put a lot of fucking thought into this. I beg to differ. And how come I only got two cards?

They got like four. There's not a lot of secrets left over for me. Yeah, I'm holding on to it in because I think of something good. All right. Anyways, the sirens start singing. And it's beautiful, but deadly, just like her. And stuff. Usually it's silent but deadly.

Can't. Is it? Yes. And the techno rabble begins to move in as well. I'm going to use echolocation to figure out where her diaphragm is. Oh, wow. So I, she, and. She left it at home.

The breathing one, Travis. It threw me two, Jews. You knew what I meant. I don't know exactly what the other one is. None of us do. Okay, nobody does. And you know that and clearly I wouldn't admit that one. You can hear them slowly edging away from this conversation

because one of them's going to ask the other one where that usually goes. I have a pretty good idea of where it goes. Yeah. The one that's for singing. Yeah. Obviously. Okay.

Roll to super, one dice, but you are still currently flimmy. Until you solve that problem, you're going to roll with disadvantage. One. Three. Ah, it does succeed. You are able to locate her diaphragm in her chest somewhere? Stomach. It's like stomach.

Yeah. or the tummy, like tummy area. Basic anatomy. None of you know. The diaphragm. Oh, which is a tummy area. Okay, I see, now I see a thousand people rubbing their stomachs, perfect.

Mmm. Yummy. Yummy. Podcasts. I love it. All right. All right, so I see where a diaphragm is. And then I give a tasteful kick.

A respectful. A respectful. A tasteful. kick to the dive fan with my upper boots. Rolls a super. But you're not using your voice in this one, so you don't have disadvantage. Five. Ooh.

Yeah, you kick that lady right in the tummy. All right. She's mean. Yeah. It interrupts her song. She killed Aram's dad. Wow. Until I fixed it.

That's why she's so steamed. Yeah, she's very bad. Oh. I almost would have stopped to that serial killer. And because you stopped her song and breaks the spell

that was stopping Griffin and Dad from doing anything in the fight. Now what do you guys do? The questioner says, what are you guys going to do now? You ask a fucking lot of questions. I get it that it's like, it's my whole deal, isn't it?

Even so, it's tiring. What else did you have me do? You could just chill. I'm not the statementer. Like, I don't come, like, when you're doing your job, I don't... I've got a question for you. What is it? What did birds evolve from?

And then I go... And a bunch of velociraptors jump in through the windows. Yes. He earned it. He earned it. Roll to Super. I actually wanted to fuck that one up. Wouldn't you say I'm coming?

Kind of showing off. Sure. Yeah, it's a six. Woo. Oh. The Blaswraptors jump in, but then they have a moment of like, oh, okay, so now,

um, what do we, you know what? Let's eat all of them. Yeah? Yeah. If it takes fucking Robert out, so be it. God, I hate that guy.

Oh, yeah, well, I'm going to summon an army of T-Rexes. Ah, damn, and I can't do that. I forgot. couldn't do that. Fuck. I'm going to use a gun. No,

a dinosaur's only weakness. How did you know? I went to college. Good college from movie stars. Movie star university. Okay, but the questioner is being devoured,

right? Oh, yeah, questioner. Okay, good. Yeah, you got at real good. I'll take that. All right. What's eating me? Is that my spleen? Why am I so cold? Why don't I see anything at the end of this tunnel? Is this all there is? Okay.

Okay, so Doc Pantheon, what are you doing? For a moment, poor Doc is stumped. He's frozen. He can't get any idea. And then he looks over at his best friend sees the whole bird motif and uses his powers of time travel to go back in time

and stop the band flock of seagulls from getting their first record gig thereby preventing the very creation of techno music what on Christ why in the name of our Lord at what point During that, did you realize how full of shit you were? Actually, before I said it.

Okay, that's good at least. I panicked in front of a crowd. I understand. That's your first time. No shame there. Yeah. But I'm sticking to it. How many dice do I roll?

Dad's going back in time to kill Flok a secret. Not kill them. Just prevent them from getting their record deal. Now, Dad? By killing one of them. Yeah. If you don't... A flock, I'm just going to kill Flok.

If you don't kill one of them, they'll just get their record deal later. You're going to have to kill one of flock of... Yeah, but he was the one that was really into tech now. Okay, Dad. Describe... Dad, describe killing one of the members of flock of sequels? Can we please?

From their perspective. Just use their name. Sure. There is an information vacuum right now about this band in our collective wisdom that is going to... It feels like get us in pretty hot water. So you...

You jump back in time. I jump back in time. You see Aaron's dad writing a song. I use the wisdom of Osiris to know how to rig an amplifier. Oh my God!

Hey dad, I actually am not gonna let that happen because that is high tech. Your power, you would not, Osiris doesn't fucking know, man. Yeah. You have in the time hole. All right. Dad, I need you to roll.

I go back in time and I meet the leader, the flock of seagulls, and I talk here. him into going into carpentry. That music is a dead end for him and he should get into furniture making. And he says, you know what? I love... Wait now, hold on, hold on.

That's not how this game works, Dad. First of all, you have to roll. Second of all, you don't get to be both sides of a conversation. I get to do that. You know, hi, listen, flock. Hey, Dad, roll first. You know, Davenport's. Roll first.

Okay. A one. Okay. Hey, am I British? I don't know. But carpentry, you say, with nails? Yeah, yes. With very sharp nails?

Like long nails? Like nine inch nails? Now, that would be a pretty good name for a bag. Oh, no! Yes, nine inch nails. That's a good answer. Yes, that would be very cool. But I don't want to work with wood.

I want to work with metal. Okay. Go for it. I think that'd be a wonderful idea. Like heavy metal. Heavy metal, that's a great... You know what? That would be a good name for a whole musical genre. Heavy metal? Yeah.

Okay, you've convinced me. Well, tell all your friends about heavy metal. Hey, don't be an asshole, okay? This is it just how I sound. When you talk, you sound like a real bumpkin to me, you piece of shit. Anyways, go back through your time hole. I have to write cool songs. Okay, you're a time hole too.

Hey, man, words heard. So what are we seeing? Well, now when dog jumps back, he's phased of ace with metal men. Oh, no. And all their fingers have nine inch nails on them. No, he gets back in Techno-Rabble. I don't know.

They're off on what other jobs they would have had if it weren't for the fuck of seagulls. Those electronic bioteers. Dad, you're something. That was like, I have it written down here. The only way to stop TechnoRabble, a big group I was hoping would have a fight with somebody, is to go back in time and make what,

I put it right there, flog of seagulls be nine inch nails. That's what they call the creative process, son. Okay, so Techno Rabble, I guess they're all salesmen at this point. The questioner is dead. Well, Siren is down but not out, and Robert Pattinson is fighting. some boss rogers and really doing a kick-ass job he's been training a lot they weren't for him

hey well he's super fast dude doesn't he hey robert patinson robert i got no beef with you can i ask you question performer or performer yeah man you were getting any like fleminess how do you solve that oh yeah some uh hot doctor man you had to come out with something pretty well yeah hot doctor pepper oh let me try you got any i got a thermos of it right here man you never know when you're gonna get flemy here let me get one set look look good good good good good very very Green shut up. Robert Patton says, head explodes.

Oh, reverse, reverse, reverse. That's reverse. We'll get in trouble for that. Reverse. I reverse it, but only to watch it again? What? It's okay. He grows the new head.

Movie stars can do that. Again, another chance for Zachary Levi to come out. Why? He's best friends with Robert. They're best friends. Did we win? Um, yeah. I mean, not in a conventional sense,

but I think at this point, you kicked the woman in her tummy. You let Velazerat do eat a man whose only crime was asking annoying questions. He asked a lot of fucking questions. You undid fuck of seagull's influence on techno culture. And you exploded Robert Hadanson's third head. Twice. Twice. Now he's on his fifth head.

But it looks even better. Damn it. Another day at the office, said Big Company Incorporate. Thank you so much to Paul Saboran over there. Thank you to Amanda and Rachel and Shannon and Alice and Alice and Alice and Alice in the Balboa. Oh, yeah. And the game, I think I'm saying the name right. Ersa Dice.

Is that the correct? That's the creator of Supernormal. Funniest fucking game, man. It is such a great. It's so simple. Tyler Reed made the poster that is outside that you should get because it's phenomenal.

Your last chance. And thanks to Carol for doing my hair. Thanks, Carol, for doing that's hair. And thanks to you for coming. You're really nice and it's been so fun to perform for you. Thank you. Thank you very much. That's it.

So as we say at the end of every episode, Venture Zone, that's the end of it. Yeah, bye. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artist-owned. audience supported