The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Live - Halloween Special!

Episode Date: October 31, 2018

BOO! That's us jumping out and surprising you with an episode that is A) One day early and B) An exquisitely spooky live adventure! It's our Halloween Special, and boy howdy, is it a wild one. Thanks to the Paramount Theater in Seattle, and everyone who came out to see us! Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Hey, everybody. Real quick, I wanted to set up before you listen to this episode. What it is, you're about to hear. Instead of putting up a new episode of Amnesty this week, we thought it would be super appropriate to put out our episode one day early today on Wednesday because it's Halloween. And our most recent live show from Seattle, Washington is a very Halloween spook-tastic episode. It is probably my favorite live show we've ever done. If you're not super into our live shows, I get it. but I would encourage you to give this one a try because it was very, very good, and we were very, very happy with it. Very haunted, very spooky, not suitable for people scared of spooky, spooky Halloween stuff, skeletons and mummies and stuff like that.

But if you got the nerve to stick with it, I hope you enjoy this very haunted episode of The Adventure Zone Live. We'll be back in, well, two weeks and one day. November 15th, so that'll be the new episode, but for now, enjoy the spooks and scares of the Adventure Zone live. It is the afternoon of the midsummer solstice festival, the annual harvest time observation of one of Féruin's most spectacular phenomena, the solstice eclipse. You witnessed this once before during a fair atop the bureau headquarters when voices in the sky knocked everyone unconscious. Boy, that was weird, wasn't it? I bet nothing strange like that is going to happen this year.

The three of you are celebrating the Midsummer Solstice in the traditional manner, with food and drink and dance and frolicing and, of course, costumes. What did you attend your chosen solstice function in? Magnus dressed up as taco. A Merle dressed up as a footstool. Why is that? Why is that? just because he wanted to

okay why does anyone do anything Taka dressed up as Captain Ron and then was really upset when nobody got it I'm not sure I would have gotten it Taco do you all think it's definitely been at least a year

since the proceedings of the finale the story and song do you all attend the same Halloween party or do you have your own sort of circles you're moving in now I mean Yeah.

Have we even been in touch? Yeah. Roll to see if we kept in touch. Yeah, okay. I got a 19. That's pretty in touch. Okay, so we're very in touch. I think probably like Magnus organizes it and talk of Kusen like, if nothing better, comes along.

Yeah. And then nothing does. Right. So he goes. And Merle forgets where the location of the party is. Sure. Shows up late. He's just there from last year still.

Okay, you all were enjoying the Solstice party that Magnus put together for everyone. and you were anticipating the approaching eclipse when suddenly you all do hear a noise. You all hear the same noise together. You hear music, tiny, percussive notes like melody from a music box. You each are at peace as you hear this tune, and then you're super at peace,

and then your actions are no longer your own. You each leave the party all together and walk away from it, And you sort of perceive the passing of streets and people as you all walk together in this trance, but you find yourself unable to stop this impromptu journey. And then, as quickly as it came upon you, this fugue state ends as the song fades out. You are standing on a cliff just outside of Neverwinter, overlooking a cape that opens up into the trackless sea, which roils several hundred feet below you.

Beside you are your two adventuring companions as you snap out of this trance, and you know that they were just in the same state that you were in. What do you do? Hey. I was just, sorry, I fell into a trance of my own because Griffin's amazing narration. That's a very good cover for you weren't listening. Hail and well meant.

There you go. So, uh, do you do this? Who? Other, the other people. Okay, you looked at me when you said it. Yeah. And in a sense, yes. Oh, is it, when you said the other two companions, you mean like them and me, not right.

And there's two other people there. No, it's the three of you. I don't know why this is such a stumbling dog. I thought you were saying like, and there's two other people there too. Merle cast does a perception check. Okay. How competent. It's a two.

and Merle's eyes explode. Taco and the real Captain Ron are standing in front of you, Merle. I got a 12. You got a 12? It's pretty weird, huh? That's what you pick up on. That's weird.

Why do we do this? Why do we walk all the way over here? That's weird. That's about all that you get with a 12. But then the plot keeps moving forward because this isn't working. Thank God. With that, great conversation.

A shadow passes over all three of your faces in unison. The sun slips behind the moon, and just off the cliff's edge, an immense spectral shape starts to take form. A new landmass stretches off the cliff you're standing on, and atop it, glimmering, iridescent light, arcs upwards from your feet, and this upward slope of light takes shape as the eclipse reaches its full occlusion.

It stares, a grand staircase leading up to a massive, door built into the face of a castle, unlike any you've ever, ever seen. Magnus starts running. In which direction? Towards a! Okay. This castle is imposing, yet narrow. Its shape is punctuated with these odd spires and antechambers that hang off of its sides.

The tallest point of the tower is pointing directly into the center of the eclipse, and around that pinnacle you see a cloud of bats circling the perimeter of the building. The castle's door opens, and a blue door opens, and a blue one. blood red carpet, bounds down the stairs unraveling to your feet. Yay! Well, this seems normal. I'm, listen, I don't know

what's going on, but I'm loving it. Yeah, for sure. The aesthetics are on point. Magic Castle, Spires. Yes, thank you. A carpet. Oh, yeah. I'm glad I perceived that. Do you all head into the... Yeah.

Well, yes. Uh-huh. Okay, you all step into the castle and the double doors slam behind you. Ah, shit. That's not good. You are... Hello! You are... Yeah, it's dark in here, and as you shout hello,

candles hanging on the walls and columns around this room start to ignite by themselves, and you see that you are standing in the foyer of this castle. You know, it occurs to me, as you're describing this, it's probably hard to achieve that kind of, like, jump-scare, door slams. No one was there. when like one third of everyone can do magic. Sure. So it's like the door closed on its own.

Like I see people do all the fucking time. And it's two thirds, sir. Thank you very much. The foyer of this castle is perplexing, just as perplexing as the building's external architecture. It was once a beautiful, intricately designed room, but centuries of violence and decay have left it decrepit. A grand staircase climbs towards the back of the room

where a large statue, a large gargoyle with its wings curled around it, and three large holes carved out of its chest watches over the rest of the foyer. Yes? I'm going to play Dungeons and the Dragons very quick. I want to... Everybody stand back. Stand back. I would like to roll a history check.

Okay. Looking at some of the architecture, the design, see if I'm picking up on any sort of like cultural, you know, touchdowns. You want to retcon so you did this outside? side or are you doing this? No, I think as I'm walking, as I'm walking in, yeah. What'd you get? 15. Oh, add your history modifier. I did. It's five. You, you, you, you don't know the history of this place, but I do think you recognize

that this place is, this place is ancient. It is maybe the oldest place you have actually been to, the oldest, like, structure, you know, man-made structure that you have ever sort of stepped foot inside. Okay. So, this, you got the gargoyle. Gargoyle, gargoyle, gargoyle. You got the gargoyle. Go for gargoyle.

The candles hanging on the, the walls and columns of this room cast this Stygian chamber in a gentle, warm light. This what? The what? Stygian, isn't that? Did I use that word right?

You did, yes. All right. Oh, fuck off. Like, seriously, 80% of this audience is like, I know what that word is and can address your use. There are a few exits from this room on the ground floor level, but the most noteworthy thing

is a person standing in the center of the room. Yeah, I was trying to get to this NPC, and you all were like, well, I mean, do my checks, and I guess he just stood there the whole time, like, yeah, go ahead. Well, it was so stingy and dark, we couldn't see him. This figure has his hands clasped in excitement. in front of his face, he is tall and muscular and pale with dark hair that ends at a widow's peak and two fangs that extend beyond his lips capacity to enclose them. He's wearing a long black leather duster over a blood-red vest and a black-colored shirt

and seeing you enter, he says. Do it. Come on. Come on. Good evening, gentlemen. One, one mysterious stranger. Welcome. Welcome to my...

I hope your journey here was not too discombobulating. Do you need to finish chewing? We can wait. Hey, old friend. My name is Taco. These Stygians to my left are my compatriots, Merle, and Magnus. Yo, hi.

A pleasure. Okay. My name is Dracula. Twist. Right, you all were surprised? Certainly my reputation proceeds me. Have tales of my sanguine customs reached never winter shores? All right, that's gonna do it for us tonight.

Thank you so much. In my head right now, friends, if we can take you inside the game, in my head, I am trying to figure out how Gryffin is gonna prompt me to attack this figure because currently odds are at zero percent of me raising a hand. against this incredible person. He's going to become our fourth party member. Yeah, all right. You get a new DM because Dracula's always with us.

Damn, that's season three right there. We've been fighting. We can look for a new creative approach to the material in our time. So we put Dracula in it. Dracula has asked if you've heard, if you know his flavor. Do we? You have to stop asking me. If you know things.

Chocolate. Yes, I do. You are Dracula, as you said. And you're, if I'm not mistaken, a vampire? Yes, how did you know? Context clues mostly. And a voice, in a voice. I try to keep a low profile, unlike the other Dracula.

Always going around biting people in public. books written about them and stuff. Hold on. You're a different Dracula? Are you saying there can't be two vampires named Dracula? This is like saying there can't be two bus drivers

named Keith. I'm new to the area and looking for enterprising individuals with leadership experience to serve in executive... You got a startup? An executive roles in a new chapter of my organization.

The JC. No, you could think of it as something of a blood bank. A what? A blood bank. Only we will be the banks. It's something of a peer-to-peer blood banking service. Wait, hold on. Are you going to eat us? I have no interest in eating you. I want to hire you.

Okay. He says, no, I have heard your story from the strange space fish, and I assume you may be hesitant to accept. this lifestyle and so I've prepared for you something of a presentation on my company. Like a PowerPoint? A bit more interactive than that. He says, I will be waiting for you atop of my castle only once you have completed the three trials located in the rooms around you.

Only then, after you have collected the key spheres from each of these chambers, will you be able to place them into the Gargoyles' torso and come up and see me? Okay. So, can I just clarify something? So real quick. Is this your house? Yes. So you just live, is this your daily routine before you go upstairs?

You complete your three challenges and put the key spheres into the gargoyle's torso? Or that must be really hard if you want to run upstairs mid-movie. You got to pause. Make the popcorn. Do the three challenges. Get the three key spheres. Put it in the car goes torso and then go upstairs. Additional question along with that.

Yes. When the eclipse ends, do you just fall through the air? into the ocean. It's funny you say that, actually, through the, like, few windows that are in this room, the eclipse hasn't ended. It is stuck. For whatever reason, the eclipse is not, you know, passing. Probably Dracula did it.

Probably Dracula did it. He says... That's also my favorite running joke in family circus. He says... Dracula did it. It was Dracula. These trials will be difficult, at least. They will be for the mortal soul.

Any chuckles? Mm-hmm. I... Not an exaggeration. literally don't know if we are mortal or not. No, you're defo mortal. Okay, for sure. Okay, so...

I have to ask you, Griffith. No. Let me take... Dracula. I can't turn him off at this point. Okay. Then I'll talk to Dracula. Then?

Gosh, this is just like Maxage. You can't talk to Griffin directly. You have to talk to Dracula. Are you... I'm sorry, by the way, balcony. I keep moving the hat so y'all can get the full... Just an experience. No, but for real.

Do you want us to attack, there's three, and three of us. So I have to ask, did you intend for us to do these together or one for each of us? What's the plan? You can tackle them however you want. I've heard things about splitting the party, not being the smartest idea.

Well, what are they balanced for? Are they balanced for one to three players? This adventure is for level five here. What are you talking about? All right, I'm going with door number one. We've got 20 minutes before information. What door? I have to ascend before you start doing it.

Why? Because I can't be here while you're doing the challenge. No, you go up and we'll start the, like you go and we'll go the same time. Okay, bye, see you soon. Okay, bye. And he turns into mist and floats up through the ceiling. As you look around the foyer, you see three exits on this floor. Two to your right.

There are two doors side by side. One is labeled kitchen. The other is labeled laboratory. You have one door to your left, which is labeled ballroom. And behind this door, you hear some just funky music playing, just really, just nasty bass slapping going on behind that door. Okay, bye. I'm going to the ballroom.

I'm going to the ballroom. I'm going to the laboratory. No, come on. No, let's not do that. I don't want to do that. Do you all want to split up or no? I don't. No, I don't.

Don't cheat them. Follow. Are you really excited about the ballroom? Yeah. I felt like he was leading us, which is why... Yeah. Okay. Ballroom it is. You enter it to the ballroom.

It's a cavernous space with a floor made of gleaming polished wood. To the left... As opposed to carpet. Well, I include that. It's a ballroom. Anyway. To the left side of the room... It's a bounce trampling floor.

To the left side of the room, there are a row of towering windows, but they are all covered in these dark blackout curtains that stretch floor to ceiling. There is some light in this room, however. not from the candles in the foyer. There are none of those in here, but there is a large rotating disco ball

positioned above the center of this room. It's throwing little spotlights all around, twirling in time to a song emanating from an old gramophone in the far corner of the room, one with a particularly large horn that is just blasting some old disco music. To the right side of the door as you enter

is one object that looks really out of place. It is a small pedestal made of intricately woven black metal, reaches up to about Magnus' waist, height and right atop it is a black claw gripping a small vial full of bubbling red fluid. What do you do? I mean, probably drink it. I did not mean to prompt, like, Magnet, this is your vial of red fluid.

I was just using you as a height sort of. Well, I think I know the thing we have to dance. I'm going to, no, we're, okay, I'm going to invest it. Magnus begins dancing. That's fine. Seven plus ten, 17. Wait, he has a,

you have a plus ten to dancing? It's athletics. Arguable. Is it? Arguable. Yeah. Arguable. Acrobatics, I would argue.

I would argue performance more than anything. No, I'm not performing for anyone. This dances for me. Okay. I've got a 14 investigation. I'm looking at the pillar specifically. what There's no pillar.

The black woven What a trip that would have been. Petestal. Okay, let's resolve these in order. Magnus, you take a step forward to just get groovy on this dance floor. And you are, something runs

into your head and hits you pretty hard. You take four points of bludgeoning damage. I thought he said it hit me hard. I mean, it wasn't pleasant. And you are knocked backwards. Now, with your 14, you're looking at the pedestal. Yeah, and the vial of blood.

I mean, like, just that scene. Yeah, you can tell it's not trapped. It's not cursed by magic in any way that you can tell. The vial look like anything I recognize? It looks like a potion. A potion. I'm going to do a survival check. For what?

I'm going to smell it and see if I detected any, like, poison, you know, and cork it. Okay. That's a 5 plus 11. 16. I've never gotten to use my survival skill before. I was going to say, I don't even know what that one does. Yeah, doesn't smell poisoned. Go ahead. Well, go ahead, bro.

I can name that tune in six notes. No, drink the, drink the shit. Drink it. Drink it. What? Like half, probably. Drink it, bro. Drink like half. You're like small. Tell you what. Okay. I'll take my time. Let's all three roll. No, you did your turn.

We'll roll. And whoever gets highest, sorry, whoever gets lowest has to drink it. Yeah. Bring your, you got your dice? What does this look like in game? It sounds like rock baby with scissering. Yeah.

Yes. Three. I got five. I got six. God, son of us. Bitch. God damn it. All right, fine.

You drink it up? Yeah, I lost. I drink it up. You feel awesome. You feel super. good. You actually feel you're already a pretty like nimble wizard. You are the flip wizard.

You feel actually your dexterity and like your agility is like doubled. It is like out of control. You are, you are straight up American Ninja Warrior material right now. Okay, well I'm gonna, I'm just gonna roll with it. I'm gonna count the dance floor. I know he got bludgeon, but I don't

them going to. Make an acrobatics check. With an advantage. Make an acrobatics check. That's a miss. I can just guess. It's a miss. Ten, all the other.

No, that would not be good. And a... Oh, man. You have triple advantage. Triple advantage. No, that's... It's like a six. All right.

You are bludgeoned for six points. damage and knocked backwards. Merle cartwheels out onto the dance floor. You guys are so good at adventuring. It blows my fucking mind. Go right ahead. And rolls a seven.

You're kicked in the face for five points of damage. Wait a minute. I'll give you that. Now you all have been hit by this thing so many times. You know that that was a foot hitting you in the fucking face. You've been kicked in the face. All right. Taco, you try again.

Okay, well, I'd drink. Hold on, let me think. Maybe it's this style of music. I need different music to dance to. Is there any other records? Why don't you make a perception check to see if you see any other records, if that's what you're...

I rolled a one. Go, roll, proceed. You are going to die. I roll the 19 plus one. There are no other records. You do see, with that check, the curtains hanging on the windows are moving as if they're like caught in a very faint breeze from time to time.

And as they move, they lit in a little bit of that weird gray eclipse light from inside. And when they do, you can swear that you see like shapes, just for a second and then they're gone. I pulled down one of the curtains. Okay. You pull down one of the curtains and it floods this room with this gray light. And then you can see, you see figures taking shape all around the ballroom, hundreds of spectral forms, all disco dancing and couples. all wearing adventurers' gear, floating through the air, just sort of quickly moving around the room,

all revolving around the disco ball at the center. They are just tirelessly grooving to this music. They're flailing limbs forming a formidable gauntlet for any who would attempt to move further into the room. But you also see, seated just to the side of the curtain, you just pulled down, a young human woman, the ghost of a young human woman, who is also dressed in adventurer's clothes.

She's got some light leather armor, and like a triangular leather hat and quiver of crossbow bolts the whole deal. And she's just kind of hunched over looking at the dancers looking kind of bored. So the people dancing on the floor are all dancing in pairs? Yes. Disco dancing in pairs. Yes. Merlecasts Speak with the Dead.

Okay. You could have also said hi. No, I like this. But if I'm just now speaking with them, that'll be one of the things I say to them. Okay. Merle, this ghostly human woman looks up at you as you cast this spell and says, can everybody hear this or just you if you speak to the dead spell, does it say? You don't have to lie.

Okay, she speaks to everyone. She says, she says, hello, this is what ghosts sound like. A lot of really good character work for me. It really is. Um, hello. Um, I'm Merle, and these are my sidekicks. Do you want to dance? Absolutely not.

I'm good. You all shouldn't have come here, probably. Okay. Sorry, it's real annoying to talk like this. You could not. Uh, let me try. Hey, nope, it's gonna come out this. way.

Do you have any insight here as far as like what we need to, you know, to... It's not odd insight for days. I like everyone here came to this castle to kill Dracula, but obviously beefed it.

Why aren't you dancing? I don't feel like it. So what do we need to do? Well, big picture. kill Dracula. I had a few weapons I thought were maybe promising but they were taken from me

when I beefed it. I heard drag say he was going to burn one of my weapons. Seems like I was on to something. But little picture, you need to get the key sphere. It's inside the disco ball.

Okay. and I chucked chance land and set the disco ball. Okay, make an attack roll. Nope. I mean, it ends up being like a 12th. It gets hit by one of these dancing spectral disco dancers

and gets just knocked across the row. I call it back. Okay. So if I dance good enough, could I get to the ball? Yeah, probably. You didn't drink the potion, did you?

I did. Oh, beans. Was that wrong? I don't know. Okay, well, now that I can see everybody, I'm going to go back out to the dance floor and try to really shake the stuff. Give me an acrobatics way.

I think this demands some kind of audio component, Griffin. At least give us a disco song that everybody's dancing, too. Sure. It's like, this one's like, no, yeah, this one's like, so like the Ohio players, we're talking, okay, sure. Okay. Roll an acrobatics check for me, Juice. It's not performance?

Sure, performance works too. It's acrobatics. You have advantage. You have advantage. Well, let's see how that goes. Hey, a natural 20. Nat 20! All right.

Yeah, you grew right to the center of the room and make it past all of the dancing couples. And as you reach the center of the room, you are now standing immediately underneath the disco ball and have access to it. Everyone else is just kind of spiraling around you, sort of, you're in the eye of the storm.

I will, can I reach it? Is it out of reach? I'll grab it. Okay. You grab it, and as you do, the mirrored pieces of the disco ball just fall away, and now you are just holding this sphere. It's a small black sphere about the size of a grapefruit, and carved into it with red ink is the symbol in the shape of a bat.

And as you hold it, all of the other ghosts in this room vanish from sight. Yeah, I guess so. That took a long time. Where you going next? Which chamber? Kitchen. Yeah, kitchen. Or go to the laboratory. It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust as you step into the kitchen.

The entire room is just brilliant, illuminated by these lamps on the walls, which refract light off of gold-plated cookware and gilded cutlery. Tell me about the backslash. It's gold and beautiful, a good backslash. Nobody at HGTV's house hunters would have anything shitty to say about this backslash. Everything in here is immaculate and fancy and beautiful taco. You know your way around a cooking room. I don't know why I said that.

You know, a cooking room. This is only we can come up with a better word for it than cooking room. Maybe someday. Everything's there. The cut sticks, the stir wands. All the great, the great different things. The heated box. This is like top five best kitchen you've ever been in.

Just off to your right as you enter, though, is one object that doesn't match the aesthetic. It's another one of those pedestals. holding another potion. And you also see movement out of the corner of your eye, and you see an object laying on the kitchen island. It is a golden spatula, and it starts to rattle a little bit on the table, and then it grows arms and legs,

and it stands up on its handle, and it grows a little moustachioed face on it. And he says, guests, welcome to the master's kitchen. You must be tired after your journey here, please. make yourselves comfortable. Okay. I take it you're in the process of considering the master's job offer. I believe you'll find the benefits quite enticing.

Did you come here to kill him? Why, no. Did you used to be a person? Maybe, I'll never tell. Did you used to be a singing candelabra? I don't know about candelabra, but I could sing a song, and he starts to break into song as other objects in the room. Lift up and spring up.

And he sings. He sings. He sings. It's different. Visit us. Visit us. Sit on down and eat some food. We think you're really going to like the food.

Please leave a yelp review. Don't make it one star to. Just visit us. Eat some food. We made it. He goes. So what is your name? Spatchowell. He's not. He's trying to talk. It's done. It'll never learn any of the names.

Yes. It just goes on and on like this and the whole kitchen is getting into it. There's dishes twirling and sink. There's champagne bottles firing off just fountains of bubbly. It's a remarkable display and one that you feel pretty certain is not going to help you at all in finding the orb hidden somewhere in this room. There are several areas that you can check. There is the there are cabinets above and below the kitchen sink. There's also a China cabinet off to the side. There's an oven, a fridge, a freezer, a silverware drawers, a liquor cabinet, and a furnace. Oh, my God. You don't have to memorize all those. Just name one that you want to check out. I'm looking in the cabinets. Liquor cap.

Magnus drinks the potion. Oh, yeah, there's also the potion. Let's resolve that first. Go ahead and you just chug it down? I mean, Merle, you want to roll again? You've already got the red potion. Okay. This time, high one wins.

Wait a minute. High one wins by not having to drink it. I want to drink it. All right. I got a four. I got a 16. Merle drinks that. Okay.

Wait a minute. No, that's real beer, dad. No. You would hate that. Okay, you drink the potion, Mac. No, that's my water. Let's play Dungeons of Dragons. Okay.

Look at the clock. Do you see the scary low number on it? You down the potion and the worst folly I've ever heard in my fucking life. And suddenly you, you feel your senses heightened supernaturally. You have these very powerful senses, a sixth sense almost, you could call it. And you can tell there is... I see dead people.

Okay. That was the other room. Oh, sorry. There is nothing, you can tell. There's nothing in the oven. There's nothing in the overhead cabinets or the silverware drawers. There is something powerful in the... the furnace in this room. That's what you can tell

with your heightened senses. Hmm. So under... Taco. Go look in the furnace. Sure. Remember, she said that Dracula tried to burn up her weapon. I bet there's a really groovy weapon in there. Oh, sick memory. Thank you.

It's not gone yet. What isn't? Okay. Okay, I will check out the first. Okay. You throw it open, and there is indeed a a very powerful heat coming out of the furnace. And the cookware and stuff still singing this song kind of eyes you looking kind of nervous

as you start poking around the kitchen, not sort of being entertained by their song. You can see something in the ashes of the fire. Not ashes, but there's something in the fire you can tell. Fire. You see a shape, not a spherical shape, but there's something in there. I will pull my hair back in a pooh-toe. One.

to cast fire shield. Okay. On myself. All right. I assume that gives you a shield against fire. Okay. You are shielded from fire. Truth in advertising.

And I'll just fucking root around in there. Okay. It doesn't take you long. You reach in and at the bottom of the furnace, you pull up what looks like a long cable that's been fashioned into a whip. It is a long metallic whip. I just said, so we go, yes.

That is what you find. Magnus. Okay. I pick it up with my, thumb and forefinger and hand it to Magnus. Okay. Magnus, where do you want to check? We still have... And it burns his pocket. Underneath cabinets, China

cabinet. Uh, uh... I'm going to check that China cabinet. Okay. You'll check it real hard. You see, uh, as you... You open it and you see inside a small, uh, little teacup, uh, and a teapot next to him, and he hops over to you and he says, he says, Mama, mama, mama, look. It's a, it's a human man.

He says, let's get him. I close the cabinet. Make a dexterity saving throw. Oh, buddy. That's a 12. This small teacup in the teapot next to him, you hear the teapot go, yes, dear, let's get him.

And they smash themselves against the side of the cabinet and just razor-sharp porcelain comes spraying out at you. You take 19 points of damage. Merle, where do you want to look? We have the fridge, the freezer, the underneath cabinets, the liquor cabinet.

I think that's it. Let's do the liquor cabinet. Okay. You pull it open. There is no trap in there waiting for you. You do see some bottles of wine and some bottles of booze. You do see one small, strange crystal vial, sort of hidden, tucked away in the back.

And as you pull it out, you can sense, you're a cleric. You know what this is. This is holy water. Yeah. And there's a little post-it note on it that says, Do not drink this. Taco.

Where do I have left? I'll check the fridge. I'm going to the fridge. Okay. Yes, check the fridge. You open up the fridge. There are no traps in there waiting for you. There's just some, I mean, some blood.

There's also... Is it loose? There's also... Yes, just loose blood. And in the crisper, there's a whole bulb of garlic. Nice. I'll put that in my pocket. Okay. Magnus, you all are really cleaning up

this fucking room. I'm going to... Check that what's left. Underneath cabinets, cabinets, and freezer. I'm going to check that freezer. Okay, you open up the freezer and make it X-Gyri-Saving throw. Damn it. Nope.

Some icicles shoot out of the freezer. I guess living icicles, and they're like singing along the song, like, We've got wine, we've got soup. Have some chicken. Have the coop. And... Have the coo. That was good.

That was good. Borrow my car. You take nine points of ice damage, just these jab into you. But as they enter your body, you see laying at the bottom of the freezer the next key sphere. I pick it up. And everything in this room just starts falling over. That spatula. It's not instant, is it?

It's like slow. It's like, and the spatula doesn't realize all of those friends are going out. Beard game. He says, juicy fruits and crispy. pastries, hot and fresh, and soup. Falls over and dies. On to the laboratory, so fast. You enter the doormarked laboratory or laboratory.

I don't know what's wrong with me. And step into a cramped cold and profoundly filthy chamber. There's a flight of stairs leading down to the ground level of the laboratory. And all over there are lab notes made unreadable by the passage of time and the spillage of various fluids. There is one container and there's a bunch of broken beakers all over there's one container left intact it's another potion.

Magnus just goes ahead and downs that. Okay. I'll tell you what happens in a second. The largest feature of this room is a machine that takes up nearly the entire back wall. It's about 10 feet tall with two Tesla coils that emerge from its peak. There are large pipes and... Two testicles? Woof.

There are large pipes and bundles of cables that form a labyrinthine tangle across this machine's surface, and it ends at a console in the center of the machine with a lever. It wasn't that good. It was pretty good. They come in pairs. Fair. This lever, either, it's binary.

It either points to the left or to the right. Right now, it's pointing to the left. And flanking this lever on both sides are two metal beds, both of which appear to be hosting a humanoid body covered in a large cloth. What do you do? Drink the potion. Okay, you drink the potion? and Merle and Taco

Magnus just seems to have more presence in the room than he did before. He always gets the most presence. Not like that. He seems like, you want to like, you want to talk to Magnus. You want to see how Magnus is doing. He just seems more, he seems more charming

than he did before he drank. Impossible. What do you all do now? I look, the bodies, are they like under sheets? Mm-hmm. I'm looking under this. It's a Frankenstein. Oh, okay.

Which one's a Frankenstein? Both. Two Frankenstines? Can you even imagine? You know what? Magnus, he's a lever. He's going to pull it. Okay.

Let's let's the lever over. Nothing happens. I'm charming, though. Yeah. I ask Magnus, like... So, what was the idea? Well, there was a... lever, so I pulled it.

Well, all right. That's cool. I just want to keep talking to you. Hey, uh, yep, could I heal you? Would you let me heal you? So, please. Please. You're so charming.

What is there other than the lever? Uh, I heal my goodness. Why don't you make a roll? Okay. Not an action. You can't just heal somebody. You gotta use a potion or an item or a spell or. What's what he's doing? I did.

Healing word. What am I, am I investigating? Wait a minute. Why not healing you? Yes, Merle, how much do you heal Magnus for? You know, do you have a D4? Back to fall. May I use your D4?

One D4. Four. Four, plus my spell modifier. He doesn't know that. Let's say, yeah, that's 12 points of damage you were healed for Magnus. Great. You're welcome. Good job.

I beg of you done. I finally do something cleric, and everybody bust my ass. I got a 17 for investigation. The machine's unplugged. I plug it in. Okay. As you plug it in, the machine comes to life. Your hair stands on end as electricity crackles between the two coils,

passes through the circuitry and into the lever's station and into the bed on the right, where the lever is switched over to. And as it passes through, the Frankenstein under there sits up and says, Oh, hey. Hello. Hey, I'm Frankenstein. Hi, friend. A lot of people will say on Frankenstein's monster, but they're pedants and just kind of jerks.

I mean, like if I had a child, right, if I created life, they would be named after me. They wouldn't say, that's Magnus's kid. Sure, sure, sure. Hey, you all wouldn't happen to need the key sphere to go on with this job. I would, indeed. Oh, that's easy. And he pounds his fist against the bed he's sitting on, and a compartment on the machine flips over, revealing a blue and a red button. And he says, all you have to do is press that red button right there.

And what will that do? It'll give you the key sphere. Well, hold on. Worldcast Zone of Truth. All right, I'll give it up. I'll give it up. Oh, I have to roll the safe. I roll the six.

It doesn't do it. You think? Okay. Yeah, he is bewitched. You know what happens when I press that button? The red button? Yeah. It'll give you the key sphere.

What will the blue button do? It'll kill you. What would the other Frankenstein tell us? Well, my... companion over there always lies. We'll tell you to hit the people. It's kind of one of those. You know what? I want to check

his flavor real quick. I'll flip the left. Oh, that'll kill me. The other Frankenstein sits up and says, oh, hey, I'm Frankenstein. A lot of people say I'm Frankenstein's monster. I really get it.

Is this Frankenstein in the zone as well? Yeah. These buttons over here, what would the red one do? Oh, the red one? It's the KeySphere one. I would have told you it's the blue one. I'm the, no, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, no, listen, listen, listen, hey, let's stop, wait.

I'm the liar, Frankenstein. The red button. Okay. You press the... I do switch it back over to the telling the truth, Frankenstein. Oh, that'll kill me more. Hey, what's up? Hey, do you want to come with us?

We're putting together a team of moms to us. No, I'm good. If you get off the table, do you die? I don't know, never tried it. As you reach in and touch the red button, it just turns into the orb as you pull your hand backwards and the machine shuts down, and you have all three orbs.

I didn't really, I forgot about Zone of Truth a little bit. I rush in there and I put them right in the gargoyle's ass. All right. We all take turns putting in the gargoyle's ass. Cool, cool, cool. As you place the final orb into the gargoyles ass, the ground beneath your feet starts to rumble, the wings spread out, it turns into an elevator,

it's super cool, we're so behind. 20 minutes ago, this would have been described in intricate detail. The gargoyle had a whole thing, and it turns into an elevator that ascends and you are passing through the castle quickly now, going up this elevator shaft that cuts through the whole of the building, passing by alcoves and hallways and dungeons and just spooky shit. But it ends as you reach the top of the castle,

and you are in a large rectangular room. It is lined to the left and right with these large Gothic stained glass windows depicting Dracula in various fashionable poses. Several of these windows are covered in tattered red curtains. At the back of this room is a dais with a wide, dark wooden throne on top of it, with another red carpet running down the stairs

right to your feet. Behind the throne against the far wall are several large painted portraits of Dracula in which he's just working it. He's just smizing and toching, the whole deal. And as you lift up through the floor, you see Dracula seated

on this wooden throne about 50 feet away, and he says, Greetings. What? Greet, cut, you have to come over here. They made the room like crazy big. I don't know why. We walk closer.

We approach Dracula. That is better. So what did you think of my presentation? I mean, it's... Impactful. Yeah. For sure. Did you drink the potion?

All of them, yeah, for sure. So the powers they imbued you with, they are only temporary. But what if I told you, they could become permanent? All you have to do is let me sire you. Excuse me? A sireneal. Sire? You want to make us vampire.

Executives, yes. Which isn't? Yes. You want to turn us? into businessman vampires? Yes. Yeah. Wait,

hold on, Taco. Do you really want to have to go to meetings? No. There will also be slaughter. That's fine. I've heard of milk toast on that, but the meetings were, no thank you. The process also does hurt a lot,

but only for a little bit, and then only just kind of a bit for the rest of your life. This is sounding less appealing. We have to tell you this stuff up front. We've gotten in some legal trials. What's the cape situation? Huh?

What about capes? Where do they fit in? They're a little played. Black leather dusters are hot now. I think we're going to have to pass. Yeah. This has been great, though. Thank you so much.

Yeah, totally chill. Let's hang again. That is disappointing. because it means we have to fight. Oh no. What? There's one thing I have to do before the fight. Hold on one second.

He's like come down to like talk to you about this and then he runs back up to his throne and he pours himself a glass of wine and he takes a swig and he shouts, what is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets. But enough. How about you? And he throws it to the ground. And then he kind of sheepishly walks back down to the three of you and he says, Sorry, I have to do that every time

But where were we? Oh, yes, we're going to fight. It doesn't seem quite fair, though three on one. And he gazes at the three of you. How many potions did each of you drink? One each, I think, right? Yeah. Okay, go ahead and roll a wisdom saving throw.

Natural 20. Natural 15. I'm going to use it... Plus three for 18. I'm going to use Indomitable to roll again. Can I do that? No, come on. Come on.

Let it be tense. I rolled a five. Okay. Magnus, this like anger that you feel before a fight, this like energy that you use to psych yourself up to defeat your opponent at hand, you feel it shift away from Dracula. You actually feel it turning toward your companions. Specifically, Merle?

Both of them. And you actually, you feel yourself walking over to Dracula's side, and you feel yourself draw your weapon as, you face your former friends. And Dracula says, Congratulations, Magnus. You're hired. We're going to go to intermission.

We'll be back soon. Hey, everybody. This is Griffin McRoy. Your dungeon master, your best friend, and your Nintendo gameplay counselor. You got to make Mario. Jump on the,

eat all the pills. Thanks for listening to the Adventure Zone live from Seattle. I hope you're enjoying it so far. We're going to get to the climatic resolution here in just a little bit before that. I want to tell you about some of our sponsors. Got a jumbo tron here.

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What did you get, Magnus? I got a 19 plus a 2, a 21. Perfect. All right. A lot of good, burning a lot of good roles on the initiative. All right, Merle, you are up first. You have Dracula and you also have Magnus facing you and Taco Down. What do you do?

Boy. Okay. Murrell casts shield of faith. Okay. On whom? It surrounds a creature of my choice. Yep. So that is kind of the question I asked.

Taco. Okay. Surround Taco and it adds plus two to AC for the duration. Awesome. All right. You have plus two AC Taco. You are going to need it. Magnus is up next.

Yep. Now, Magnus, you feel compelled to attack your two compatriots. I'm not going to tell you how to do it, but don't chicken out. But also, maybe don't one-shot them with your... I'm going to use my newfound whip. Okay. I thought you were just going to Omni-slash Taco with the Flaming Racing Poisons and sort of doing that would be a series rap on Justin McAul.

And you told me backstage it was the same... Yeah, same as Railsplitter. So D-10 and then... plus your regular to attack roll. Oh, well, that's a critical miss. You're kidding me. Confirmation. That is a one.

Unbelievable. Cannot hurt his friends. His heart is true. Here's what it is. You go like this to try to, but it's like a whip and you aren't like, you maybe haven't used a whip. You're maybe not proficient.

This is maybe the one thing. Cut your gin. Yeah, this may be the one thing. Oh, God, yeah. There's that great YouTube video of the guy trying to do the whip that's like 30 feet long. and it just destroys him because he doesn't know. I think that's what happens.

And Tucker, you are safe. And you're dead. Yeah. Are you going to take any other actions? Yeah, I'm going to do my second attack at Taco. Okay. Great. That is a 9 plus 918 versus AC.

What's your AC at now? 15. Plus two? 15. Oh, shit. That's bad. Okay. Yeah, I'm a wizard.

Yeah, D10 damage. Four plus. 4. RCD 4 plus 5. Yeah, get every juicy point. Nine points of damage. Now, Magnus, make a wisdom saving throw. It's going to be a tough one. Nope.

Six. No, you are still enthralled. Taco, you're up. Plus one. You're not quite as enthralled. Yeah, you're still pretty enthralled. Uh, ba-b-bub-bub-bub-bba-bba-ba. Okay, here's what I think Taco would probably do is he's like, don't worry, guys, I've got this. And he would pull out the bulb of garlic that he has and just throw it at drunk.

And then he says, he says, I banish thee. You have no sway here. Go ahead and roll a D20 for the garlic throw. 17. Okay. With a 17. Plus my garlic throwing. You get it in his open mouth.

He sees the garlic coming. and he opens his mouth aghast. Like, what are you throwing? It's like a reflexive. Something's being thrown. He opens his mouth, it goes right in. And then he crunches down on it, and then crunches again and eats the whole ball with garlic.

And he says, How do these rumors about my weaknesses get spread? I mean, honestly. I'm weak to garlic like someone might be weak to chocolate. I cannot help myself. To running water. I have a water slide into my infinity. pool in the backyard.

Honestly. He is undamaged by the garlic, and he's up next. He is going to... Well, I thought you threw it at Dracula? Not Magnus. Enjoy Magnus. He shoots a fireball at Merle. That is 20 versus AC.

Yeah, yes. Yes. Right? Well... Yeah, that's 19, which is one lower than 20. Oh, that's a bad roll. That is just eight points of fire damage. And then with his second action, he is going to try

to toss Taco. Taco, we're going to have a strength contest. Roll a D20. You've come to the right place. I'll be damned. It's a 20. Oh, yeah. All right. You also would have advantage on the roll.

But with that, he tries to grapple you and throw you across the room, but you kind of just grab his wrist and set yourself back down. Merle, you are back up. Um, Merlecasts dispel magic on Magnus. What's that do? Thank you.

Any spell of third level or lower on the target ends. Yeah, okay, Magnus, you snap out of your trance that you have been placed under because of your potion, as soon as I snap out of it, I sneak attack Dracula. Okay? Sneak attack Dracula. Yeah, because he doesn't know I'm out of it. All right, I'll give you that. You've been rogue trained for so long,

and I don't know what the fuck sneak attack does. Flip, flip, flip, flip. I think it gives you advantage. Let's look at sneak attack. Once per turn, you can deal an extra 1D6 damage to any creature you hit with an attack if you have advantage on the attack roll. Okay, I'll give you advantage on this role

because you are getting the drop on them. You must use a finesse or a range weapon. Is that the whip? Yeah, the whip would be that. Yeah, okay. Okay, roll your attack roll. 13 plus 9. That is a hit.

Roll a D10 plus roll a D10 and a D6 together. Not great, but so that's, no, I mean, it was high. You have advantage on the roll, okay. Oh, actually, that is a crit. Magnus, it's on 19 and 20. Okay. So roll another D-10

and probably just the same D-6. So then all together we're looking at math. Okay. So plus five. The answer's not going to be on those papers, my friend. The answer's in your mind.

7.9. Unlock the heart. Can you get a whiteboard out of here? 14. It actually hits him for 28 points of damage. It cuts him across his vest. and as it does, it leaves like a little trail of light around where you whipped him,

and he looks, he is shocked. First at your betrayal, then he's disappointed in you. And then he... This is going to come up at the quarterly review. Absolutely. Next up is Taco. I walk up to Dracula and I say,

hey, good news, I've decided to reconsider the job offer. and I still don't want to do it and I cast sunburst he again looks kind of disappointed and then he waits for you to tell me what sunburst does so brilliant sunlight flashes in a 60 foot radius centered on a point I choose within range

his butt each creature in that light must make a constitution saving throw on a failed save, a creature takes 12 D6 radiant damage. Oh my God! And is blinded for a minute. Okay, you all are definitely

in this zone, right? In the sunburst zone? I, that was, did I not say that? I should have said at the beginning. I get 60 feet away from Dracula, 30 feet away from Dracula. And then I...

With your agility, you can do that. It was implied. Implied that I would not want to be... Sure. You know, I've been in the game a while. But Magnus and Merle are definitely going to be upends. It's the sun-dose.

You can't make a Dracula omelet without, et cetera, et cetera. Breaking a few hero eggs. Breaking a few hero eggs. All right, so I'm rolling a Constitution-saving throw. Indeed. That is a 16. Ties. Tie goes to the...

Great, okay. Yes, hitter. I'm going to need you two to also make... Also, I'm pretty sure yours is higher than 16, isn't it? 16 lessons. Okay. Go ahead and roll a Constitution Saving Throw Magnus and Merle.

I got an 18. 9 plus 9. I got a 19. Damn, okay. Plus 3, 22. 13. Do you want me to do... Oh, you're just doing it.

21. Carry the 26. 18. So funny, Mac. You're so funny. Everybody loves old Maca-McRoy. 29. 33, 37.

37 times 2. 74. Thank you, audience. Thanks for all the great D6s you have, Travis. You're welcome. Got a lot of D6s. Okay. Dracula says, it's a pretty good spell. He holds out a hand like this,

and a column of flame appears below each of you, rather a circle of flame that, shh, it's about to turn into a column. If you don't roll a good dexterity saving throw and get off of it, Taco has advantage. Seven. Please stop yelling for suggestions. We got it.

We got it. Dang. I've rolled three times now, and it's like a one to three and a seven. I'm definitely, it doesn't matter. Magnus. I've rolled too many times, but it's all bad. Yep. Oh, no.

I go seven. 18 plus one. That's 19. All right. Merle just sort of. step stool scuttles out of the way. And Taco and Magnus are not as lucky. They are both hit in this column of flame

for 19 points of fire damage. Okay. And then with his second action, Dracula, who is getting a little bit worried, says, Hey, where did you find that whip? I thought I put it in the furnace. Yeah.

What? The whip. Yeah. What did you find? In the furnace. That's a pretty good whip. Yeah. And then he turns into fog,

and he flies backwards and disappears through one of the large portraits hanging on the room, on the far wall of the room. We won. Congratulations, everybody. Well, thanks for coming. Folks, it's been a great time. Thank you.

We beat Dracula together. Couldn't know without you. Magnus runs an attempt. to run through the painting. Yes. Yes, he does. You do. The wall is not there

behind the painting, so you just smash, you smash right through it. I wasn't sure how that was going to go. Do Merle and Taco follow in pursuit? To run into the wall? No, there was no wall.

There's a tunnel behind the painting. The tunnel, yeah, it's a secret thing. Yes. Yes, following. Yes. In pursuit. You all move through the tunnel behind the portrait,

and you make it to the other side and step foot into again, this shower of gray light from the eclipse that is still hanging above. You're in some kind of observatory. You're in this semicircular room with a large plate glass dome for its walls and ceiling. You are atop the castle here, overlooking the sea and cliffside hundreds of feet below. In the center of this room is a black coffin propped up on a slanted table, flanked on both sides with urns full of wilted flowers,

Right at your feet as you step inside the room are the bones of a long dead adventurer. Their gear has long since been reduced to dust, save for one salvageable object, a long wooden stake. What do you do? I pick out the steak. Okay.

And I examine the construction to see how well it's done. It's carved real nice. It could be sharper. I sharpen it. Okay. Hey, time out. Weather is nice. Yeah.

The steak is now sharper. I'll find some mechanical thing to do with that. You now have a sharper steak. Now what? I see it like, do we want to do like the walk towards the coffin? Like, let's finish this kind of deal? Yeah, I'll sprinkle salt around the coffin. I've seen that in movies.

Okay. I'll sprinkle pepper. All right, just covering the bases. I'll sprinkle holy water on the steak. Oh, interesting. Okay. Are you using all of it? Nope.

Okay. No, no. Right now, this is a good steak, guys. You have made this steak very good. You have buffed the shit out of this one wooden steak. I throw open that coffin ready to just jam it. The lid creaks as you pull it back, revealing nothing. The coffin is empty.

And from a distance, you hear a voice shout, Now you fucked up! Roll a dexterity seat. saving throw, all three of you. Fucking walked into that one. That's a 10 for me. It's a 7 for me. Can't catch a fucking break tonight.

You know what? Now I'm going to use Indominal, though. No, what is Indominable do? It lets me re-roll my saving throw. It's fun. Just take it. You get to cast out. Take your coffin damage.

Go ahead. Nope. Okay. Merle, what did you get? Don't I have advantage on initiative rolls? This is not initiative. It's a dexterity saving throw. It's a don't laugh at him.

He's doing his best. Taco, did you roll your advantage? How about a six. Six, Jesus Christ. Really? Another shadow appears above all of you. A figure blocks out the already pretty blocked out sun. And this figure smashes through the plate glass dome as he falls downwards,

which explodes under the force of his dive. All three of you are shredded. by shards for... Oh, not really shredded. It's 17 points of slashing damage. And the walls of this room fall away. This dome is just gone,

just sort of exposing you to the open air. And you take a look at Dracula. He is unrecognizable from what he was inside. He is just this big, musly blue monster with leathery wings and a beastly face with a mouth lined with these jagged razor-sharp teeth. He also, I think, has like a slash across his chest from where you got him with that whip.

And we're back into the order. I forget who went last. I believe it was Taco because he made the sun explode and then Dracula went, Merle is up. Merle casts prayer of healing. Okay. Dad sounds defeated every time he has to heal somebody. What's it to do?

It's up to six creatures of my choice. Okay. So that would be us three. Oh, come on. And since it's supposed to be... Wait a minute. Now, let me have a pawns. If you healed the undead.

Oh, it's worth a try, I think. Oh, maybe it's a final fantasy rules. I feel you. It moat, it hurt me so bad. Don't do it, Merle. Oh, it hurt me so bad. The healing magic, I hate it. I am afraid of that.

Are we still in the zone of truth? No, we're far away from it. No. It wouldn't. All right, just on us three. Oh. What is your adventurous spirit mode? 2D8 and it's a 5.

Oh, do I roll it again or I just double that? That's what two means. Nine plus my spell ability modifier. 8 plus 8. No, 17. 17. 17. I heal you guys for 17.

Nice. All right. Magnus, you're up. Um, well, I'm going to whip him. Okay. And whip him good. Sure. Okay, so that's a 19, and as we have determined, that's a Chris.

That is, oh shit. Damn, that's a good ability. Yeah, especially when I remember it. Um, so that's three plus five. Uh, 15 points of damage. 30 points of damage. Uh, what's this look like? Where are you whipping him?

How big is he now? He's much bigger than he was inside. He's close to eight feet tall at this point. All right. I'm whipping, I'm going for the neck. Okay. You whip his neck. He says, oh, my neck.

He whipped it. Oh, you know what I'm going to do, Griffin? What? Going to take the chancellands. Oh. And I'm going to tie the steak to the point with the whip. Interesting. So you're combining three weapons.

Let me figure this. As part of his tone. Yeah, that's what I'm going to say. So the camera turns to magnet. You can create this omni weapon, but it's going to be the rest of your turn. Totally cool. Okay.

And then I'm going to second wind. You whip him across the chest, and then you say, that was badass. Hold on. And now I'm going to second wind and attack again. Oh, my God. I thought you had him for a second. I haven't even action searched yet.

So I'm going to throw... I'm going to throw... Okay. My beautiful, beautiful spear son. Okay. At his heart? You devil! It's a seven.

Plus ten. Seventeen. That is a miss. And then I'm going to use precision strike. It goes fucking flying way past him. Precision strike. Hold on. Oh, and then add an eight to that.

That does. 25. That's precision strike. Okay. So now do I do damage with all three or? No, I think you would only do it with the stake, which I'm going to say is because you, like, did some good shit to it, is 2D10, radiant damage.

Nine plus five, 14, 19 points of damage. 38 points of damage. Just gets him in the gut. It gets him right in his leathery gut, and he says, I don't think he says anything. I think the sort of jovial Dracula is gone. He's starting to turn more monstrous and just fucking scary at this point. And yeah, who's up next? Oh, and I recall the lambs.

Okay, it comes out of him. So thank you for that. It would hurt a lot inside me. Taco, you're up next. Okay. Yeah, I think this will work. I'm going to activate. Okay.

Oh, shit. I have my, yes, this will work. I've got my transmuter stone. I haven't activated yet, which I can use once. Sure. And I'm going to use Panacea. It removes all curses, diseases, and poison affecting a creature that I touch with the transmuter. Stone, and I'm going to use it on Dracula.

I'm not, I'm not, I don't know, this is your world, and I don't know how the rules of vampires, but I feel like Taco would try this because of the nature of vampirism he's not very familiar with, so he would give it a shot. Why don't we roll for it? I could roll like a saving throw. I think it's more exciting if you roll like a, a, a, use your spell casting

modifier, there's like a magic effect you are trying to do on Dracula. Because in order for me to just say, you touch this dude with the stone and now he's not Dracula anymore is a lot. Okay, it's a lot. I grant you. I roll it 12. Plus your magic? Well, my, I mean, your spell casting modifier. Don't you know it? Here we go. Yeah, 17. I'm going to roll now a constitution. If it's like a curse or a disease, it's the side of it, that's what he's going to have to save again. This is a 17. Fair.

That is a 13. You touch him with the stone. Describe this scene for me, Justin. You're... You are undoing Dracula. I just... I think this is your moment to take the camera

and tell us what happens. I mean, I have the stone. I already came up with a good idea. I don't know why I have to write a soliloquy about it. I run up and I could probably reach his, like, kneecap at this point. right?

Okay. And I just like slab this rock on his kneecap. You slap the rock on his kneecap and his

wings just go flying off of his body like Nerf darts they just like pop off of him. And he turns back into Derek Reginald, Acula.

Yeah. And he says what are you doing with the road? And as his, the holes where his wings used to be, just bats start flying out of him. Just like this spray of bats, and his form is shrinking back down,

back to the sort of person shape that you fought indoors, and he crumples to the ground, and then he looks up at the three of you, and he says, well, looks like I've come to the end of my rainbow. I This is embarrassing. I had a fun time

when I was being Dracula. Do you regret any of it? Oh yes. I mean, now that you have restored my soul, the guilt I feel is immeasurable. You know, we work with an organization. You could come work with us and maybe do some good in the world.

With your corporate building expertise? Yes. I don't know. I don't have any powers or anything. Well, you know, no. No, no. hear us out. We've been looking for somebody to run HR. The last guy was named Brad

and he was, if you'll pardon the expression, the pits. And we'd love to get you on the team. We could pull a few strings, no problem. That sounds excellent. Let's start filling out the paperwork.

It's something I excel. I don't know. There's some training videos you'll have to watch. The only like thing is that now I am not Dracula. anymore. I've lost my control over my castle. And sure enough, it is starting to disappear beneath your feet. Oh, lesbian cheeks. Get on my back, Dracula.

Dracula grabs onto your back. Okay, what does this accomplish? You can go faster now. I used to be able to fly like a bat, but now I seem to not have that ability anymore because of your weird raw. I say, leap from my back to Magnus's back, Dracula. I didn't think through it. He leaps to Magnus's back. The castle disappears some more. No, let's run. Okay, which way are you running?

Out, out. Back towards the elevator. Yeah, back towards the entrance. All right, you run back towards the entrance. Make an athletics check, all of you. Dracula's not going to roll. He is on Magnus's back. 20.

I'm retiring this dice. Mine is, well, let me see what my thing is, because it's good. Oh, it's over here. 15. Okay. Merle? Two. Magnus and Taco, you all make it to the elevator

and start heading down as the observatory you were just in vanishes. And as you're going down the elevator, you see Merle just fall right past you. What? I whip him. You whip him. I'm going to catch him with a whip.

You don't need to. He has a flying broom. He does. He whips out the Woon broom. Not the womb broom broom. What did you just say? Vroom. I was speaking like Dracula. The Vroom broom,

and yells the fray, hanged in. All right. I still with him. Okay. I deserve that. You all on your various forms of transportation make it outside of the castle back onto the

cliff's edge as the eclipse as the moon finally passes beyond the sun and the sun's rays start glistening down off the gentle waves of the trackless sea below and the castle slowly fades from view and Dracula looks kind of bumped out. He's lived there for quite some time. Did he grab like his box of like important documents?

My important documents! And you just see this box just splash. The pictures of my keys. He says, Yeah, yeah, it got real. You were worried about Dracula's kids. He says, well,

they'll one of you have a place I can crash. Oh. We live on the moon. You could just come stay with us. There's plenty of room. Sounds cool. Can I invite my friend the Wolfman? Oh, it's a joke.

It's a joke. I don't know the Wolfman. Oh, no, what happened to the truth-telling Frankenstein? Oh, no, you see them both. Come! It says, we're fucked. The other one says, no, we're not. The four of you, take a look at one another, exhausted. You have saved the world once again.

In the span of just a couple hours, it's starting to get kind of old hat, the treasures and the monsters and the injuries, especially the injuries. In fact, Magnus, you notice a wound on, like, taco just from like the damage from the battle. That's still fresh and like bleeding. And there's something about it that just looks so delicious.

Happy Halloween. That's the episode. Thank you all so much for coming. This is so much fun. Thank you all. You know what chocolate. Thank you so much. Maximumfund.org.

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