The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Outre Space - Episode 2

Episode Date: December 7, 2023

The Babysitters catch up and chase down a prophecy in the middle of Knowhere. Simon and Thori get social. Kate and Sebastian keep things steady. Miles schools the others. Special guests Kate Welch: https://www.instagram.com/katewelchhhh/ Gabe Hicks: https://instagram.com/gabejamesgames/ We're playing the Marvel Multiverse RPG: https://www.marvel.com/rpg Additional Music in this Episode: “We must explore” by Moon Toad: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/moon-toad/; “The Application of Aleatoricisim in Artificial Sound” by Omniman: https://www.jamendo.com/artist/433514/omniman; “Stars” by Beat Mekanik: https://linktr.ee/beatmekanik; "Luminescent' by Mind's Eye: https://soundcloud.com/mindseye4; “City view from Torni” by Brylie Christopher Oxley: https://brylie.bandcamp.com/; “ATH” by Lex Villena: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2iwj2SqGnplhDIadeJ5bmy?si=N8WYSKIPR7WUy8z4ajNSog.”Agoraphobia” by Holizna: https://holiznaroyaltyfree.bandcamp.com/; “choice” by Roman: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/roman/; and “Cattails” by Triple5 Here: https://soundcloud.com/steven-stresau. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Face front, true believers. It's time for another jolting journey into mystery with the adventure zone, ultra-space. Like the cheese-eating cat, you've been waiting with baited breath for more rambunctious RPG with thrilled Travis McElroy, Grinan Griffin McElroy, jovial Justin McElroy,

gleeful Gabe Hicks, and convivial Kate Welch. And speaking of cats, raise yourself, Excelsior. Hello, everybody, and welcome back. This is the Adventure Zone, Ultraspace, subtitled Baby Sitter's Two, Galactic Boole-Doo. So that's like two different subtitles, right? I've been trying to make sense to this one.

Well, they made me change it. It's like Adventure Zone, uterus space. And I went with the better change. The censors? Yeah, the man. The man, the woman. The bigwigs. The creator of Break Into Electric Buguloo, who's very litigious.

I like that you're saying they made you change it, but you're just saying it anyway, along with the other subtitle. Well, we're kind of a pirate radio station podcast. We are. Yeah, that's very cool. We're floating in outer space outside the realm of Britain. And let me bring you up to speed. We have our characters, our babysitters are in the warping. WonderWagon, which is a somewhat spaceworthy version of a great big Winnebago owned by Simon Williams

Wonder Man. On board are Wonder Man played by Travis McRoy. Right. Hopefully they've listened to the first episode, Dan. Well, I don't know. Go listen to the first episode, please. People may have been. Yeah.

Okay. So Sebastian Druid played by. Justin McRoy. Thori of the God Dog played by. Griffin McElroy. Kate Bishop Hawkeye. Kate Welch. And of course, Miles Morales, Spider-Man.

Gabe Hicks, not McElroy. Yeah. Yeah, give it time. That's fair. So you're zooming through space in the Warp and Wonder Wagon. Becca has, Rebecca Reiker, who is Death Lockett, is plugged into the system and is really, really seems a bit focused, hasn't really been involved in the conversation. It's taking a lot to concentrate her from you guys. all imploding.

I assume that we have like some time before you get to nowhere. Can we catch up? It's like been a while since we've all hung out. Well, Becca then says we are about an hour

away from nowhere. Why don't you all catch up? All right, Becca. Beautiful. So Miles, how school going, I guess? And it's great. I've been applying

to different colleges. You're not in college yet? Are you married? Oh, okay. Oh. Absolutely. Sorry, it was more of like a, like, how long has it been? Like, I feel like it's been what?

Two years. Is it only been two years? Three, canonically, right? Marvel time. It's Marvel time. Yeah. Where are you applying? New York.

You know, like California has great school. Like, you could do, like, Berkeley or. Yeah, but, like, I don't think California could handle it. Spider-Man. That's fair. I'm just saying, if you wanted, we could start back up the West Coast Avengers, you and I, and, like, get back into that if you ever wanted to, you know. Maybe, uh, maybe, like, on, on spring break, that, that could be, I.

Oh, that would be amazing. I started, I started learning to drive, and he, like, kind of like side-eyes Kate. So, like, like, I can drive now if we ever, if, like, death lock, it never needs, like, a break or something? You got, you got your permit, or are you just taking lessons? What? Uh-huh. Yeah, no, this is an important question.

No, no, I have my permit and mine's legal. Yeah. You know, I did a sun driving course with Jason, Stathel. Who's that? Jason Statham. This is part of the canon for Simon is he's a name dropper. Oh, yeah, yeah, dude. That was very good.

You keep talking about all these, like, people I assume you went to maybe college with. Jason's safe, the transporter. Do you mean a taxi driver? We have lots of those in the Bronx. Miles, do you watch movies? I do. They have movies in New York, right? Yeah, but I don't watch classic movies.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm supposed to be invincible and you're going to give me like an apoplexy. Come on. Look, have you, look, do you even watch Twilight? Oh, my God. I'm changing subject.

Story. What's it like being a dog? I can also operate a motor vehicle. There's nothing in the laws that. says a dog can't drive. There actually are. Like, that actually is explicitly listed. Yeah, but I mean in space, though, Simon?

Oh, that's fair. I don't need a license in space. Exactly, dude. What are you, Wonder Man? A space narc? Whoa. Hey, bud. Never.

If anything, I've been arrested before. I spent time in prison, my dude. Okay, how's the investigating, investigating business? It was probably a mistake to stay in, like, the Oklahoma area. I don't know if you guys know this, but I was... It wasn't because I didn't trust you to not take... Like, that you wouldn't be able to take care of Lausa and that she wouldn't get kidnapped by members of, you know, nefarious organizations.

It's not that I thought that was going to happen. But I have kind of stuck around the area. and with the exception of like Austin and Kansas City, which are both just like popping off, it's a little bit of a sleepy area for investigatory activities. So to be honest with you, I really needed this. So it's really good to see you guys. I just want to go on the record of saying, no offense, but I didn't fully trust you. I had so many alerts set up for like goddaughter kidnapped, Lausa missing, missing,

God-related, anything at all like that. So big dog and wizard man, uh, hurt in scuffle, anything like that. I had it all. It's a good. How are you doing, Mr. Druid? Oh, uh, yeah, good. I'm doing like a, like a, I wanted to try like a novel, do like a novel. How's the novel coming?

It's kind of based on, it's kind of based on like hero stuff that I've, I've, I've seen, but it's, I changed a lot of it so it wouldn't be, like, I didn't want to get anybody in trouble, but it's like, just like a novel about superhero stuff. Is there like I'm in it? It's probably too early to like talk, talk about it. Do you have a working title? Sorry, who are you? Clint McElroy, the Pleaswalking janitor of years. Clint McElroy makes his appearance. You're like, plugging that lady into the computer. He was plunging the bathroom and dad. You're regretting plugging the lady in the pewter.

Hey, do you have a working title? Who's that? Slorp, slorp. Oh, forget it. I'm going to plane out of here. Do you have a working title? Do I have a working title? It could have a vacation. It's early.

Yeah. It's early, is the name of the... It's early, yeah. That's what I'm calling it so far, because it's like you have to get up pretty early in the morning to be a great hero. And I'm... Oh, okay. So it's called it's early. It's a working.

title this, so I'll probably change it. I don't even know if I'm going to keep doing it. This is honestly going to, depending on how long this takes, I might probably mess up my I can just, does it have any potential to be adapted for like film or television, do you think? It's stupid.

I don't want to talk about it anymore. Is that okay if we don't talk about it anymore? Sure, of course. Yeah. Thank you. Thanks. Thanks. And, yeah, thank you. I was in the Seagull. I was just recently in the Seagull. Just nobody asked me what I've been up to and we were kind of going around.

Those are like you and Ant Man? Those are birds. No, it's a play. Jesus. Okay. It's a play. And there's a gun in it. Have you ever heard Chekhov's gun, that thing?

Yeah. Okay. Okay. I was in the seagull. That's a weird thing for a pacifist dimension. Well, maybe it'll come up again. Who knows? Tell me more about Chekhov's incredible weapon.

No, I heard that. I actually heard that the collector has Chekhov's gun. I read that actually. That makes sense. Yeah. Wait, Thori, what have you been up to

the last three years? I'm growling instinctively at the mention of the collector. We have great beef. Oh, that's right. If I saw that, I'm going to eat his whole head. Did you just ask me what I've been up to?

Yeah, yeah. Three years, man. How's it, has been hanging? Well, I've blown through a much greater percentage of my lifespan than the rest of of you in three years, I will say. Are you not immortal?

Dog ears or God years? Yeah. It was a joke. God ears are like dog ears back. Yeah. Seven, one, seven, hold on, wait. Seven God years is one human. No, wait, seven human years is one God year.

Yeah, okay. Sure. I'm three years old. I'm like 80. Did you guys know that? You're old a... Wait. Whoa.

What? Yeah. I'm made of energy. I'm... Yeah. I'm like, I don't age at this point. I... You...

I used the party in the 80s with the beast so hard. All the stories, I can tell you guys. So, the cocaine was there. Picture this. Big piles of cocaine. Let me just stop you there. The Lausa, how has she been doing? Like, she's been...

I have been kind of checking up on her skull and I keep in touch. I've been reading... She's reading books. now, which is really exciting. Yeah, she's really cool. She's reading more. She's starting to do like some little chores like we're doing the sticker chart thing. And she's starting to get into that a little bit more.

Oh my God. Has she like told her first joke? Like I always love it when kids tell their first joke. Has she like told you any jokes? She did. She said, yes. She had she did her first one. It was so, so cute.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I forget why. to get to Asgard. That was her, I don't think she was... Oh, I like that. I get it, though. That's really good. Nonsense.

Does she... Does she ever watch FireBuds? Because I get a voice on that. It's the Rainbow Road, so is the joke, but it's really more a God thing. Oh, God, it's precious. Is Thori older than me? We are approaching nowhere. Wow, it was a quick hour.

Please prepare. It might be. kind of a rough landing. Better not be for us canonically. It cannot be a rough landing for us canonically. You approach nowhere, which is a gigantic

severed celestial's head that serves as headquarters of the Guardians of the Galaxy. Apparently, used celestial body parts are the VRBOs of the interstellar experience. And you land

not too roughly. Good suspension left on the, on the Orpah Wonder Wagon, in sort of a town square, right in the center of the city. And also you've landed just outside a building with a sign that says Starlin's Bar. What do you do? I would like to, from my rawhide nest retrieve Laus's dire wolf stuffy, Oh, that was not there. Yeah, she took it with her. Oh, she took it with her.

Oh, well, then never, never mind. You know what? Then without the prop, I still think I am able to use my heightened divine dog senses. Try and get the scent of Lausa. I imagine we've lived together for a few years now. Oh, yeah. And my almost three-year-old doesn't smell good most of the time. And so I think there's probably a recognizable stinking trail.

Hey, why you letting your kid get stinging? Like, my kids don't smell bad all the time. What are you doing? Yeah. It probably is. She also would have like a recognizable distinctive, like, I feel like, smoky sort of smell. A brimstoney smell.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Exactly. So I'd like to sort of, yeah, pick up the scent. Did you make a roll? I can make a vigilance role, yes. My senses are sharp that I can, And since things up to four times away, I have double edge on vigilance checks to perceive things. Oh, okay.

Wow. So. 454, 455. 555. Wow. That's a 19 total. We should make it clear if it's driving you wild listening to this, the numbers we say don't add up. There's also a stat modifier like every other RPG.

So I have four invigilance. Yeah, don't try to do any backseat math here. Yeah, yeah. It's not going to make sense. So 555 plus my four in vigilance is nice. She would make this humongous sniff, huge, you know, I assume you guys have all stepped out of the Warp and Wonder Wagon? Yeah, yes. I flew out.

Okay. Nothing, Lori. Really? Not a trace. Nothing at all. Okay. So with this incredible role, I feel pretty confident that she is not actually here. Okay.

Bad news. I do not detect Lausus scent. It is quite. distinctive, as we all know, having shared a small vehicle with her in our last adventure. It's weird. She stinks. And there was a lot of diaper changing in that. I did, I did learn. I suggest we hit the ground and work our contacts. Okay, I'm just going to go talk to my, to Star Lord. Like, you know Star Lord. Yeah. I'm connected, baby. Like I was an Avenger. I've been around, man. Like I said, Like 80 years.

I've been in it. Do you know Rocket Raccoon? Yeah, he's the raccoon one, right? I love his japes. Okay. Why aren't you an Avenger anymore? Oh, because I'm a pacifist now. Actually, I still work for them doing PR and negotiations.

I just don't solve things with punching as much at all. It's weird that that's a requirement. What? punching? I, oh, it should also be noted. I kind of led a group called the Revengers against them and kind of fought them and won to kind of show the world,

like the Avengers actually caused a lot of damage in her bad. Oh, so you're like, and praise that in an ice game. Historical Napoleon Bonaparte. Sure. So you know about Napoleon Bonaparte, but not Jason Statham. I know history.

Not like... Okay. Classical movies. All right, so you all, do you all enter Starland's bar? Yeah, definitely. I mean, we may as well. Starlin's Bar. Not Star Lord's Bar, though. No, Starlins. Starlin's bar. I look for a sign about whether or not, and this is the thing I've had to learn the hard way in Oklahoma, if they are cool with dogs present.

Well, make a vigilance check. Vigilance check. I mean, with Coswell. I'm going to take my double edge on that. I mean, you have heightened sense to know if you're allowed in. That's a 20. As Simon said. Simon said.

Okay. Yeah, one of the main cogs here at Starland's bar, kind of the concierge is Cosmo, the powerful psychic dog. So yeah, dogs are definitely welcome in here. Somebody else give me a vigilance check. I want to. I would like to do it.

Yeah, I'm not vigilant. Please. Am I investigating something? I think you're kind of checking out the scene. Yeah. Did you say, I'm looking to spot some clues? Excellent. That'd be good, yeah.

Okay, so that means I'm going to take edge on my Marvel die. Okay. Mom, baby, I swear to God, if that's a reroy. Yeah, 18 total. A, yeah, okay, so 18. Okay, here's what you notice. For one thing, the place is jammed with a bunch of people, creatures from a whole mess. I don't want to be too scientific, but a whole mess of different planets.

There's a shuffleboard game, but it has an out-of-order sign. An odd-looking darkboard on the wall, and standing next to it, a female centauri, like Yandu, if you need a visual representation. And there's a disco dance floor next to an... Bye! Next to an antique whirlitzer... jukebox, one of the ones with the bubbles and the colored water. Oh, hell yeah.

And a long, well-stocked bar with a chameleon bartender. Now chymelians are kind of a alien horse-like race. Sure. That are bipedal. They walk on their hind legs. And this chameleon bartender is waving at you from behind the bar and yells out. and yells out, Welcome to Starlins.

What do you need? I need to dance. And I fly over to the disco floor. I lean over to Druid. I'm like, jukebox, darts, shuffleboard. This has big prophecy vibes. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh. Mm-hmm. I wish I could read it. Damn it. I forgot. You wrote it. I know, but I'm having trouble remembering because it's like, I used gray paper and use black text. And use the black text. Yeah, you're lucky I have these hawk eyes. It's fixed. It's fixed. Um, when, when Simon reaches the dance floor, he's going to turn to the crowd and announce loudly, hey everybody. Yeah, it's me. Simon Williams, aka Wonder Man.

You might know me from my movies. You might know me for my work with the Avengers. Hey, you might know me for my work with the Roventers. We're going to need some help here, so which one of you are going to be a hero today? Oh, my God, Simon. It should be noted. Simon is famous. That's one of the traits that he possesses.

Yeah, we know. We figured that out. He's mechanic. Dad, mechanically, you have to. Mechanically, he is famous. That is one of his traits. A very large, burly alien yells, uh, I hate your stuff. Hey, that's fair.

You know, art is subjective. At least you're watching it. I hate your stuff too. Okay, you're starting to hurt. You stink. Okay, can I turn the volume on that scene down so Kate and I can continue talking about plot relevant story threads? Okay, go ahead. YouTube to Zoom.

it says yeah we're supposed to find a a waste roll what's a yeah uh do you know what that means i'm not 100% sure what a waste roll it like is a good word though i want to use that like a like a hungry man and that bartender's waving at you again hey do you know what the plot the plot might be over there a waste roll is like a good for nothing person like a oh thanks miles like a neer do well yeah it's a neary too well i go up to the bartender um would you say you're good for anything Sorry Let you worm your way into their affection

Sorry That was stupid Someone else do it please No it's fine It's fine Hey hi Hi Hi what's your name?

Maggie Maggie A lovely place Meggie with an I M-E-G-G-I-M-E Meggie So what name is Meggy with an E Sorry I look at

Drew it I'm like Fuck I'm blowing it too Miles Wait Miles can you drink in space Doesn't worry about it I walk up I'm gonna need some

See some fake ID Hey got that So what are you looking for Who are you looking for? If you start If you start making a Miles Space drink we're never going to get this Canonical

No way Hey Do you Believe in prophecies And I like Cross my arms And lead against the table Damn, this is a good opener.

That's better than ours, yeah. That's way better. Well, I do. Do you have a prophecy? Oh, she thinks I'm hitting on her. I'm going to lean into this. He says to out loud to decide. Yeah.

Yeah, my name's Spider-Man, and I'm here looking for something sharp, and seems like your wit is just as sharp, but is there a glave as well, by chance? Simon is stop what he's doing, and he's watching like this. I was like, okay. Kate Bishop awards Miles some edge. I'll give him some edge. But yeah, give me an ego check.

Sure. Let's check that ego a little bit. With edge. 16 and 17. So 5, 5, 5, 6, and 1. Well, assuming that Glave is not a euphemism. You mean Corvus glave? Yeah.

I'm looking for Corvus Grave? Yes, yes, actually. Wow, you're so smart. Well, he's a regular. He's in here all the time. Now, he hasn't been here for a couple of weeks. Sorry, do they normally let the... I thought the Guardians...

Do they let bad guys hang out here? Hey, hey, bad is relative. Space is neutral. Isn't it, Maggie the beautiful? Yeah. Oh. Oh. Yes.

It is. I thought I was immune to these charms, but no. You rolled the 17. The Guardians do not have a very, we don't have a very judgmental stand on this. We allow just about everything. And, you know, in space, bad, good, it's very relative. Corvus Glave is a regular in here. A lot of the Black Order hang out here all the time.

His brother, his wife, Proxima's been in here a few times. Not Thanos, right? You don't get Thanos. Oh, we wouldn't have that SOP in here. No, oh, no. There are some people that are just too bad. Yeah, we've had to blacklist. Even in space?

Yeah. So, yeah, he's bad. But if you are looking for A-glaim, like his weapon, it gets very confusing. Corvus glave and he carries a glave. You know, Thor's last name isn't Hammer. Now that's MC. Oh, very, okay. Thank you, Simon.

Oh, good. I'm going to turn to Thori and to Druid. And since you guys were like the most recent to know anything about this and you're the ones who saw what you saw in the Norni cam, would be like, should we, should we confide in Meggie the beautiful? about why we are here. Good question. While you guys decide, I want to cut back real quick to Simon arguing with the same guy who writes out and stuff. Yes, of course.

Thank you. And Simon says, no, I told you. That was because of the edit. Originally, that storyline was not going to end that. Like, they re-edited the sequence of things. Like, it made a lot more sense if you'd seen the first edit. Dude, crummy acting is crummy acting. I mean, you don't work with your eyes.

No, you didn't see the motivation beforehand was in a scene. It didn't play in the test audience. I saw no motivation. That was no motivation. Primary, secondary, or tertiary. Okay, okay. You weren't getting it is the thing. Okay, okay.

You know what? I'm going to fill the whole, I'm going to fill Meggy in, in the hopes that I can sway her and let her know the stakes here. I have a trait called Honest. I have trouble with any ego check that involves telling a lot. but I have an edge on friendly ego persuasion checks when I'm being truthful. Good. Incredible.

Perfect. So I can do an ego 15. 15. Oh, yeah, I think, yeah, I'll allow that. Oh, that poor baby. No, we haven't, we haven't seen Corvus in here, but, if you're looking for a weapon, Like the glave, maybe I could suggest that.

And she points across the room. And when you look across the room, you see a banner hanging over the entrance to a party room, a side party room. And the banner says, the banner says, waste rle's afterlife, after party. Yeah, it's a wastreel meat, literally.

Oh, like that. Oh, okay. I've made my way back over. I'm done arguing with peons. By the way, when Sebastian, when you were talking about the, talking about Corvus Glave, when you said that, two seats down, two stools down the bar, a very tall, Cree woman, just really her ears kind of perped up. It seemed very interested in your conversation. Hello, sleepy heads. Sleeping with celebrities. is your podcast Pillow Pal. We talked to remarkable people about unremarkable topics, all to help you slow down your brain and drift off to sleep.

For instance, we have the remarkable Neil Gaiman. I'd always had a vague interest in live culture, food preparation. Sleeping with celebrities, hosted by me, John Moe, on Maximumfund.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Night night. Somewhere in an alternate universe where Hollywood is smarter. And the Emmy nominees for Outstanding Comedy Series are JetPacular, Airport Marriott, Threple. Dear America, we've seen you naked.

And Allah in the family. In our stupid universe, you can't see any of these shows, But you can listen to them on Dead Pilot Society, the podcast that brings you hilarious comedy pilots that the networks and streamers bought but never made. Journey to the alternate television universe of Dead Pilot Society on Maximum Fun.org. Maggie has pointed you in the direction of Wastrow's afterlife.

Afterparty, what do you do? Is Cosmo here? Cosmo, as a matter of fact, is standing in front of the world. of the door to the afterlife after party. I'll handle this. I walk up to Cosmo and I just sort of strike a pose like a real alpha pose and wait. Do you get like razor back up on like your neck? Uh-huh.

And I just look as aesthetic ideal of a dog as I possibly can in front of this dog. And I wait. Cosmo is looking down. Scattered in front of her are a bunch of high-heims, you know, those name tags, and she's telekinetically using a felt-tip pin to write names onto these high-imes. And then she looks up and says, Welcome to Westeros' Afterlife After Party, the most exclusive swap meet in Mutterspiral. Here you can find anything you need.

Weapons, space gear, sensors, little Hulu dancers that sit on your dashboard, anything. Oh. Hello, handsome fellow. Would you like to join our little sware? I must ask you to supplicate. I am God. So typically that is the traditional response. I am God. So typically that is the traditional response. I am God. So go ahead. We'll try this again. Okay. I'm God. Yes. Go on ahead. All right.

You want to come in, I assume? You have to speak the words, or else, you know, I can't just lead you in the door. Maybe this is an outer space thing. I am Thorey, the god of dogs. Yes, and I'm Cosmo, the extremely powerful psychic dog. So what's your beef? Not a god.

It's not a beef. It's an order of rank. And so, You will help us here and grant us access to your illegal weapon party. Well, I will let you in. I mean, let's face facts. I mean, you are very attractive. That is not, it's so inappropriate.

You're a very attractive God. Hold on, can I confer with the humans for a moment? If you let me smell your butt. This is a weird vibe, right guys? You wouldn't say that to your human. God. Now hold on. First of all, don't assume I wouldn't. Second of all. Anybody else want to go in? Thori, you don't sniff butts? I'm going to go talk to the Kree woman that I know. Let's resolve this first. I'm just letting you know that I'm not going

in there. I'm not pivoting. That's what I'm going to do. Who is, who is going to? Simon walks up to Cosmo and says, this is actually, can I tell you, sounds like my kind of party. I've actually died at least twice, maybe three times depending on how you count it. So an afterlife party, very fitting. Well, you're, that is very intelligent for a human. Um, yes, no one is allowed in this party unless they have previously died. Boom. What's up? And in fact, I would say, I've died enough that I've got a couple extra passes to pass around, would be my argument. Because I, let's say I've died three times, right? I should be able to bring in two guests with me, right? I'm willing to let

the handsome god with you. I don't want to go to the ghost party if we're voting. I don't think I can allow anybody else to go. I am going to need to bring my publicist in with me, and I pull Kate over. I'll stay out. I'll stay with Mr. Druid. Yep.

I'm his public. I'm his publicist. That is what I do. That's my job I'm going to use my deal maker trait Oh, right? Uh, no Deal me

Deal maker I'm skilled at the art of negotiation I have edge on action checks That have to do with making deals Link that shit All right, convince me I should link my God heritage because I feel like it wasn't respected at the table

I would be raising With our HR department A complaint Let's see So I Okay Hey Show me better

Okay at 12 total No that fails You cannot let your publicist in If you two want to go in That's fine But you're starting to make a line build up here at the door So if you want in Take these two high imes

Write your names in And go ahead in A scratch behind Cosmo's ears I'm not going to do that without asking So me and Thori go in together Sorry. No, wait. Are you saying Miles did it or Miles said it?

Oh, yeah. He's a weird child. Fair. It's dogs. No, no. It's really nice. You got to ask permission before you do that kind of stuff, Miles. This wasn't bribery.

I was just doing it because you're a good dog. I know, and you are a good person. We'll be fine. We got this. So I'll just be out here publicizing other stuff. Perfect. Yeah. Take a picture of me to post on the gram.

No. Oh, at the party. This? Okay. Where are you going? Okay, we'll get it after. Okay. Step and repeat.

Got it. Okay. So you guys go in. What about the rest of you? Sebastian, you said you were going to go where? I'm going to talk. You said that I noticed a Cree at the bar. Yeah, I'm in the bar.

Creweman. And I'm going there. Okay. sitting there at the bar is a very tall, imposing Cree woman. She wears the armor of a pre-accuser. Matter of fact, she's even got the harm. Just in case you didn't get it, her hammer is leaning against the bar near her feet. And she looks up at you and says, yeah?

Hi. My name is Sebastian Druid. And I'm looking for a child that I have misplaced. And I have reasons to suspect Corvus Glave took the baby. And I was just curious if you knew anything about it because I thought I saw you. I might have been wrong. I thought I saw you sort of look around when I mentioned it. Um, yeah, I, uh, I did.

You kind of caught my ear with that. What did you say the name was? Corvus Glave? No, your name. Oh, Druid is my code name, but it's... Oh, what a codename? You can just call me Sebastian or this final? While this is happening, can I, like, be kind of reading her as my private eye instincts?

I don't know what rule that would be. Vigilance, maybe, or logic? No, I tell you what. I'll give you one better, Kate. Yeah. Give me a logic to see if you know who this is. Ooh, okay, okay, come on. Maybe. Let's go.

Okay. Do I get edge on that? Well, I gave you edge earlier, right? Yeah. Do you use it? Yeah. Okay, take that, take the edge. You rolled a three or five and a two. Right. Oh, okay. Three, five, six. 17 total. Okay, well, that hits. You know that this is Indigo.

She is a member of Star Force Blue, which is an all-in-one Cree, long. enforcement unit. There's a judge, a cop, a jailer, a defender, prosecutor, all represented on the So there are cops in space. Yeah. This Star Force Blue of course, featured in the three issues

of Marvel team up with Captain Marvel and Ms. Marvel. Who wrote that one? Who wrote that one? I wrote it. Oh, right, yeah. I Clint McAway, wrote it. I wrote it. What's that? Let me get that ISBN, baby. I didn't read it. Read it real slow. It sold out so fast.

that I never got to copy. I can't keep it on the shelves. I guarantee, folks, you think he's lying. Go try to buy a copy at a store. You won't find one anywhere. You're not going to find one anywhere. Well, so Indigo is the prosecutor in. So she's very familiar with Corvus Glabe

and the rest of the Black Order. So she says, well, what do you want to know? Kate, would you... I'm sorry. I thought I could do it, but I feel like I'm palming. You're doing, no, you're doing great. And I do nudge you and I point to your, like, the black text on the gray background of the prophecy. I'm like, this one, I think this is the cop of indigo.

See, like a swan and a cop of indigo. I think, I think that's. Oh, you're a cop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A cop, I thought we established that. So where do you think, if you, where do you think Corv, and I'm like looking at Kate while I'm saying this, like maintaining eye contact?

Where do you think Corvus Glave is? Um, listen, you, you just kind of saunter in here and start questioning me, a cop, to give you information. Uh, but I got, I got three gargle blasters in my gut. Uh-huh. And I kind of like you in a slubby, you know, um, um, harmless kind of way. I have that effect on everyone. Everyone in this bar

ready to fall in love. Yo, they're playing it. It's Starbucks is in the corner. Yeah, Starbox. Sorry, guys. Dance pubbiz. I will give you a chance. Okay.

We're going to play a little game. And it's a game that my cop friends and I, everybody in Star Force Blue, just absolutely loves. And to be honest, we stole it from an Earth TV show that we watch on Plan Netflix.

It's called Murderville. So here's what you're going to do. You're going to demonstrate your expertise and interrogation. I want to see your interrogation technique as if I am the person being interrogated and you are the interrogator. And if I'm impressed with your technique, I will tell you what I know. Now, there's one stipulation.

Right. If I don't like your technique, I will give you instructions on changing that technique and what I want you to do. Okay. Do you agree? So some mild coaching? Is that, it's coaching? There will be some mild coaching.

Okay. That's fine. So before we get started, before we get started, you in the purple shades? with the arrows. Yeah. I would like you to make... Well, I'll tell you what. I'll do it out of here.

Yeah. We're very... Yeah, that'd be wild. Sorry, I couldn't get out. Make in too deep. The layers. Make five. Give me the kick.

D-10 rolls. Okay. Okay, read them off. Do we have any duplicates? Yes, there's a double seven. There's two sevens. 451-77. Okay.

I worked through Rule 20 for like a year and a half. I better remember this stuff. Oh, shit. I don't know that game. What'd you do at Roll 20? I was creative producers. So I managed like first-party content and like a lot of acquisition stuff. Yeah.

Dang. Re-roll one. D-2. Okay. You bet I will. Three. Okay. Oh, I'm glad you're having fun.

Oh. I'm glad you're out here, giggling. I am indeed. I want this to resolve first, but I need you all to understand. You all told Miles that he wasn't a drink base alcohol, and then you left him unsupervised. Okay, let's start the game. Druid.

Oh, okay. So what do I... Am I rolling or I talking? Start interrogating. You're interrogating Indigo. Okay. She wants you to start as a bad cop. And remember, if you don't...

do a good job on these. You're not going to get the information. Okay. Give me a... I'm the bad cop. Give me the dang... Give me the damn information that I want. I got to find this guy. And I don't give a crap if you want to tell me or not.

You're going to tell me, or you're going to take a quick trip to Musselville. Oh. Nice. That's not working for me. Try singing musical theater. Cop. Singing musical theater cop? Okay.

Yeah, you got it. Just channel seven. I think that you should tell me what I need. You are filled with informational greed. Please give me a hint, maybe just a clue. That's all I ask of you. It's amazing. She's liking it.

She's liking it, but it's not completely working for. She says, try distracted cop. She's like, I've seen Hamilton. Okay. Distracted cop. Distracted cop. Okay. Okay, listen, I don't have a...

Yeah, you would. Yeah, he would go out with Steve. This is fucking... This is fucking classic, Stephanie. Can I just say? Too busy to... Sorry. Sorry.

Drunk cop. Drunk cop. Looking for a kid I'm looking for a kid And it's little Don't you want to help a kid He's let she's let us She doesn't have nobody

You gotta help her out You're supposed to be in good I know people with badges Aren't all these good guys You Do you want to be You could be a good guy for once To help me

Santa Claus cop only one way on to the nice list this year that's helping me find this little thought you know she's been good all year long and you could get yourself right onto the nice list you know there's not a lot of people with badges on the nice list but you could one of the few

Dracula cop it's what you've been training for doesn't it would really suck if you did not give me The information I require her. I'm seeking her. My child of the knight. I must possess the baby. I'm putting this in a terrible way.

Forgive me. You just won me over. That worked. I did it. That so worked. Yes. Oh, very, very good. Honestly, round of applause for Justin McElroy.

Oh, my God. That was what the beautiful music appreciation is to me. Oh, no. Oh, no, he can't stop out of it. I'm sorry. No. In Transylvania.

I like that it wasn't his flawless Phantom of the Opera parody, improvised Phantom of the Opera parody that did it. It was the Dracula cop. Okay. All right, this is what I know. This is what I'll... Corvus hasn't been here for a few weeks.

Fucking. Hell. But, oh, his brother has. His brother, Obsidian Cole. They used to call him Black Dwarf. Uh-huh. But he's also a member of the Black Order. He, he was in any normal names in the Black Order?

I mean, is there a Phillip? There wasn't Larry, but Larry quit to join Veggie Tales. So his brother was here, Obsidian? Wait. Obsidian Car. Right? Rewating. New veggie deals canon.

Can I tell you, here's the wild thing, Kate. Dad knows more about comic books than all of us put together. I don't know that that's not true. Dad reads all the weird shit, you know. Do you know where Obsidian went? I have heard a rumor that he is in Fluster. Well, you may have heard it's Flinix Cluster. Flinix Cluster?

Have we heard of this? Yeah, have I? Well, I don't know. Make a... Make a logic check, Justin. Oh, no. Kate, you can do it. You can make a logic.

Yeah, please. Yeah, 16. Can I say it is why we have not forgotten the core rule of this game. None of us has rolled a Marvel dice. I know. Which is what... We've made so many checks. It's a one in six chance.

We'll do it. It hasn't happened yet. Flinix Cluster is one of the most... secure locations in this part of Mudder Spiral. It is a it's almost impenetrable.

The security is very, very tight. Like a prison? No, it's more like a storage facility. It's almost like a giant storage facility where people can reside but also where people store stuff. But I had heard he

has a sphere at the fluster. Um, that's, that's really it. Although, um, I have, uh, just noticed that his girlfriend, Obsidian's girlfriend just came in a few years ago. It was standing over there next to the jukebox if you wanted to look into that. I turned my eyes in my head and my body to look at the jukebox and who's standing next to it. Uh, standing next to it is a very tall, um,

A woman named the black swan. You recognize her. Also a member of the black order. Long white hair, skin-like-driven snow. Sure. Slightly murderous look in her eyes. She's doing it for me. She's standing next to the jukebox.

It's my molyth-luous speaking voice. I point, I point, I say, Dure a, look. It's on that. Oh, black swan. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I know black swan. We got, yeah, it's happening.

You do? I'm of her. No, of her. Oh. Let's jump to, um, let's jump to Miles. Yeah. So, we've been drinking Shirley Temples all this time. That's not for you to decide.

Well, it's, it's like, it's probably like some space Shirley Temple, but it's like very fizzy and there's definitely what looks like a hot dog bun, but kind of like a bug with some sort of weird sauce on top. and this is like his third one and he's just seeing like everybody talk and he's like, Mr. Druid can kind of sing. That's okay. Mr. Druid might need some.

I hope. Throwing these down, watching the weird space dog. And at some point he like probably goes invisible and is just like dancing on the roof itself just like by himself.

Nice. Do you want to, uh, take any kind of action as part of this investigation or do you just want to dance? Oh, well, if they look over at the unique swan person

at well invisible, Miles would want to go over there and see if she's saying anything at all and like listen in. Ooh, okay. That's good. So that's what Miles does, goes over and listens. And Black Swan's saying, well, this is classic Stephanie.

And she's muttering. She's saying, she had to do it, then you? She looks up. I make myself visible. Can I help you? Yes. It's just like finger-guts.

You are, what's your name? Black Swan is what they call me. Incredible. They call me Spider-Man. Oh, sure they do. Okay, that was weird. Hey. Can you climb down?

I'm getting the kink of my neck looking up at the ceiling. All right. and I land down. So having life troubles. I lean on the jukebox and then I send a little bit of electricity into it to get us to start playing. Yes. What is it playing? I have to know.

Oh, wait, wait, wait. Or you say that. Whoa. She's already put a quarter in. Oh. So it's her choice to make. Oh, okay. So she said, why are you even talking to me?

Hey, I know what it's like to be alone. Uh-huh. I, uh, fell for someone once. You, you want me to tell you about my problem? I do. I really do. Okay. Tell you what?

Pretend to be a distracted cop. And, with Dracula accent. No, I tell you what. Distracula. Um, okay, make an ego check. Ooh. Yeah. I have.

Miles is None of very eagle. He's a Kisotini. Eight. I'm going to use one of my carmas to roll that with edge. Good, good. Nice. Eight.

Want to use another karma? Yeah, let's do it. Nine. Nine. Nine, worth it. Now we're talking. Nine's good. Nine's good. Okay, she looks at you.

Good for what? And she says... Better than me, I agree. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll tell you my sad, sad story. I'll tell you about my stinking, no good boyfriend, who I haven't heard from in weeks. Mm-mm, girl. But I'll tell you all about him.

If you can play my favorite song on this jukebox. Yes. I'll give you intel on Cole Freakin Obsidian. Okay, okay. Now, here I'm going to, in-game, before you left the Warp and Wonderwagon, DeathLocket gave you all sci-wifi-fi earbuds. So you could communicate back and forth. Oh, that's great.

Naturally. So you can help each other on this next task. Make a vigilance check. Mm. 14. Oh, that's good. Okay. You don't even have to re-roll that.

You see that there are 75 different songs on this jukebox. Okay. Of which you, of which you are to choose. That is now going to list them all out loud. No, no, no. Make an ego check. 12. Okay, so maybe you want to hit.

Look, I'll use the last for karma. I'm going to use it. 12. Okay, good. That's very consistent. All right, here's a hint. Here's a hint. My favorite song is by the band,

Hooty and the Nannies. I love them out here. I love Hootie and the Nannies. And so you look at the jukebox and you see, I'm not going to make you burn another vigil this chick, that there are three Hootie and the Nanny songs on this jukebox. one is a cheating song one's a breakup song

and one's a drinking song so you might want to bring your friends in on this next part you know what I got this hold on I'm gonna consult with my consultants give us a a logic check

oh great you can do this Spider-Man and here's what we want to check your knowledge this Spotify check Give us a Shazam check. Yeah. What's your Spotify, your interview say? It's a, it's 12.

Hmm. Why did everyone say wait the same time? Because I think we're all having the same thought of, what does that translate to in real world, knowledge? I feel like, if someone said, I got a 12 in my logic score, I'd be like, pretty good. Yeah. I feel like a 12 in the Marvel RPG is like rolling a 13 on a D20 in Dungeons and Dragons. Like, what is that? What do I do with that?

Miles is Spotify? knowledge probably goes back to 2012. I feel like that's what it pertains. Okay, it's good that Miles realizes this. And that maybe he's going to know that about yourself. Pick one of your teammates who you think might have a little more knowledge about, well, I'll tell you what, just do an all call. Do an all call on your sci-fi Wi-Fi.

So I do, I do an all-call, Miles does an all-call and says through the communication, Okay, so I need us to come together like that guy from the expendables. What's his name? Holdren? No, Jason Statham. Oh, my God. So you know Jetheth's Satham from that. So you know expendables.

Yeah. So you know expendables. Yeah, 100%. But not transporter, not Italian job. Nope. Oh, my God. But does anyone know about Hootie and the Nannies? There's, I, Spider-Man's not great at hands.

breakups and there's a black swan that has three songs that you might like. There's a breakup song and a cheating song and a drinking song. Uh-huh. Okay. Okay. Can you hammer a few bars? Do they have any Baja men on the jukebox? Oh, oh, let's see.

No, if it's an off-spin brand, it says, who let the frogs out? That sounds wrong. A shame. A blasphemy. All right, listen, I think I can help. Miles. Okay, what's the vibe? What's her vibe? Ooh, she's angry. She's pissed. She's angry?

Seems like righteous rage. Is it boyfriend stuff? It's a cheating song. It's a cheating song. Ooh, I'm going to ask, hey, Black Swan, Spider-Man question. You hate this man, right? Well, it's complicated. Oh. We've been together for a long time.

Do you want him back? I don't know. Oh, so much. I don't know. It sounds like a drinking song to me Did he cheat on you? I don't know that either Oh, let's

Okay Hey y'all This is complex But okay, so hear me out They're not broken up Doesn't know if they cheat Seems like a drinking song to me I'm with Simon

This sounds like a drinking song Okay Miles Give me a vigilance check Deal that one I'm good at I lied Oh, really lied. Oh, God.

Miles. But I'm going to use a karma to roll with Edge. Okay, do it. Do it. I do one of the ones you rolled. Yeah, 12. You thought I was going to be the five. One of the two, one.

I just realized we didn't tell, yeah, what's what we got here? So it's a 12. Yeah, four or five, one. Okay. I will let you know this. There are three songs by Hooty and the Nanny. that are on the jukebox. Now, one thing that...

What are they? Do we know the titles of these songs? Yeah, yeah, I'm about to give that to you. Oh, that would have been a good clue to have earlier for sure. Yeah, I know. I know. But the one thing you do know about hooting them. Miles, why don't you look at the titles first?

Have you used a jukebox before? You couldn't even tell it. No? Probably not. Yeah. Hold on a second. He's just screaming at it. Ju-box, play song.

One of the things that you... Hey, Siri. Hold on. Is your Thanos prop glove making a loud noise? Yes. I turned it off. I turned it off. Wait, Dad, let's not be hasty.

Oh my God. Okay, I know she got broken up. She does not need the glove, Clint. All right, Black Swan. We're going to put the gloves down. We just go right to putting it off. All right, one thing that you know about Hootian and the nanny that I'm going to go ahead and pass along is

their favorite genre is country music, especially country music from Earth in the late 20th and early 21st century. But one of you, let's say Simon knows, that

they are also very cheap and they don't like paying for the rights to any of these records. So when they record them, they record them under different titles. Oh, my God. So there are three who, Tootie and the Nanny songs.

One is at X-26. You know, you've got to punch in the little numbers. One is at Y-19 and one is at Z-73. Which one do you want first? Yet he refuses to tell you the names of the songs that they're going to. Let's go X-26. Also, it makes me think of the X-Men. The longer dad drags these out, the more you can tell he's very proud of the joke titles he's given these songs.

Now, let's continue. This is going to build up. see what the punchlines are. On with ultraspace. Can they possibly live up to a roughly seven minute long build? No one knows. X26. The pressure's all on him. You have to

you have to translate it and figure out which song it really is. And the title is, here he comes, everybody, clear a path. Race your rims. That it's determining that it's 1700 hours in some undetermined location.

Miles, that's it's five o'clock somewhere. It's five o'clock somewhere. Oh. That's the drinking song. Yeah, that's by Jimmy Buffett. Correct. Correct. What does five o'clock have to do with drinking?

Nothing at all. You're so young. You're so young. This is like a snack machine. I just hit the buttons and then it does a thing. All right. What's the next one do you want to see? Y19 or Z73?

Y19. It sounds like Y2K. There's only two more. Previous to him being unfaithful. Before he cheats. Before he cheats, yes. And as you can guess, that is your cheating song. And Z73 is, is your appreciation level of me currently at a higher level?

What the hell? That would be, I think that's how do you like? Travis, Travis, Travis, please. Please. Abe is dying. Ain't no way in hell. Yes. Oh, you know, please repeat it for me one more time.

Travis, you're my lifeline. This is basically jeopardy. Is your appreciation level of me currently at a higher level? So we have the cheating song and the drinking song already. So this is the breakup song. Is your appreciation for me at a higher level? Oh, Travis, this is killing you. Tras is...

Wonder band. Yeah? What the hell is that? I believe that would be, How do you like me now by Toby Coo? How do you like me now? It's the story of an incredible. incredibly toxic male,

who is incredibly shitty to a woman and then doesn't understand why she doesn't like him. Why it doesn't work? So Twilight? Yeah, sort of, yeah. And then at one point he brags about being so small he can live inside her radio. Yeah.

The song is very weird. Ant man loves it. So there you have it. A cheating song, a breakup song, and a drinking song. You got to pick. And just to help you remember, she writes down a little cocktail napkin,

X-26, Y-19, and Z-73. And so, yeah, which one do you choose? I'm going to trust my companions, and I'm going to touch the not snack machine and hit X-26 for 1700s in an undisclosed location. And you are correct. Correct. And as a prize, you have.

won some information that you see. The best prize learning. The greatest prize learning. Yay, I'm going to college. Black Swan walks over to you and says, I think you get me, my friend. Oh, yeah. And she stuffs that crumpled up napkin into your hand.

And she says, that leave me the hell alone and turns away. Before she turns, before she turns I feel like somebody's about to push their look Miles puts an arm out and then like sits it on a shoulder and goes hey

and walks away suddenly your spider sense tingles so hard you know what I'm going to go Oh man I wish I had spider sense that let me read social situations Would that be incredible You know what I'm going to tell him what I really thought about his book no wait I'm not

He doesn't want to hear it. Yeah, I shouldn't be around. I don't, it's, I just told a woman in space that she's sad, so she should drink away her problems. I don't think that was a good Spider-Man job. I'm going to leave. That was the other Spider-Man. That wasn't, that wasn't me. Miles, I want you to know, I don't know what started this, but you preferencing everything as a Spider-Man something?

This is a Spider-Man question. That's a Spider-Man song. This is a Spider-Man job. I'm loving it. Don't change. I'm Spider-Man. man in space. Yeah.

It's wild. How did I end up here? You're in spider space. Yes. No. No. I'm not you wondering. Space spider?

Space spider. Oh my gosh. So, we go back to the party. Simon walks in and says, what's up, fellow deados? You walk in, and you are greeted by a man in a child's mask. By a hologram. Oh. And this hologram says,

Hey, welcome, dudes. I'm Wastrow. I'm Walter Lawson. Walter S. Lawson. And I exist only so that Clint McElroy will have a character in the Marvel Universe that he can cosplay authentically. Why are you yelling? Because I'm a hologram and I don't... Oh, I'm a hologram.

Yeah. And so I just want to welcome you to Wasteful. Astrol's afterlife after party, the biggest swap meat in mutters spiral. Everybody will take care of you. You'll have a great time. No rough stuff. And please don't go looking for me. And the hologram snaps off. I wasn't going to. Were you? I wasn't before. Now you kind of want to?

A little bit. I look around. What we work with is this is like an outer space? space flea market situation? Give me a vigil. Let's check. Can we both do it? Yeah. I got a 14.

Oh, wait. I did trouble instead of Edge. Okay. After you're 16, so it doesn't matter. 16, that's good. Okay. The room is filled with booths and tables. They're all crammed with just a dizzying amount of stuff.

And all of a sudden, a voice. cries out and says, Hollywood? What? Yeah. Hollywood? Yeah. And up walks a stalky, massively muscled jovian,

smiling from ear to ear. What? I can't believe it. What are you doing in this era? And what? Holy smokes. Have you had work done? You look like a hundred years younger.

Okay. I thought Hollywood was just a reference to, like, wait, hold on. So, Dad, I know that Hollywood was a different incarnation of Wonder Man, right? Do I know? Does this Wonder Man know about Hollywood? No. Okay, great. Sorry, friend. I thought you were saying Hollywood like, that's the man from Hollywood. And I'm excited that Hollywood has come here. Well, it's your name. Hollywood. It's me.

Not the worst thing. Charlie 27. Of course. We used to hang out when you were in the Galactic Guardians? Yeah. In the future? In a different reality? We used to hang out in the future?

Yeah. Awesome. That's why I asked how you got back here, man. This is me in the past. Can you imagine? Is it really? Yeah. Oh, that would explain so much.

I like Hollywood, though. I'm not going to lie. Like, that's, I like that. That's how I know you and you were older and you had hair. Well, let me twist your bean. This is how I know you. this is me meeting you for the first time. Oh.

So in the future, when I see you again as Hollywood, this is how I know who you are. Time is a flat circle, bro. My head is spinning. Yeah, man. This is just like, I see what I got caught in one of those big secret cosmic crises things. Tell me about it. Ended up here. Yeah.

And I got a gig as a bouncer, but I'm only doing that part-time. Yeah, I did that with stop, man. I really want. What's that? And waiter. Oh, hey man, someday. Dream being, you know what I mean? Yeah.

So what are you doing in this thing? Looking for a baby. Ah, toddler. Excuse me, toddler. Big kid. She, uh... Do they sell babies here? No.

That was a joke. Oh, okay. They don't even lease them. Oh. Well, yeah, I mean, a lot of mileage. So, uh, baby was kidnapped. Uh, a friend of ours, actually a bit of a charge. of ours.

And, hey, Charlie 27, seems like you and future me are good friends. So I'm just going to lay it out for you. Corvus Glave, guns stole our baby. And, uh, yeah, man, yeah. Uh, not wild about it. So if you got anything here that would help us stop him or like, if you have, uh, hey, it seems like there's a lot of stuff here. Yeah.

This is just a wild shot, but I mean, it's like weird. Is there anything here that would, like teleport the baby directly to us? Like, just like a baby traction beam. I don't know. No. I'm strictly working this, you know, part-time. Okay.

Wasteful hiring me. But I'll tell you what. Let me steer you in the right direction. That would be great. There is one entity here who is a decent rapid dealer. The rest of these guys are all crooks. Cool. You just, this is the only person.

And he's got one. weapons. He's got, I mean, he's got more than just weapons. He's got a lot of tech and some of stuff. Cool. Um, you see, look, over there on the other side of the room, you see that big flurkin? Yeah. Over there. Uh, yeah. You'll, he'll do you right. Oh, the flurkin. Flurkin. I thought you're going to use the flurkin as like a sign. You see that big flurkin? You're going to go three stalls. Okay, talk to the big flurkin. Got it. Hey, uh, Charlie, let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question. Yeah.

What's, uh, what's the deal with you? waste roll. Who? Wastrole, the hologram who was like, don't come looking for me. What's his deal? He used to be a guy on Earth. He was an Earth scientist and

when the original Marvel, the original Captain Marvel. No, sorry, are you missing my point? Is it worth looking for him? I guess that's really all I I want to know. No. Okay, cool. Great. Great, great. That was probably just a plot device to get you to this place. Oh, gotcha, gotcha. Okay, thanks, dude.

So we go talk to the Flurga. Well, now I have to ask, Dory, we're approaching a giant cat. Like, are you going to be cool? That's what a Flurkin is? Yeah. Right? Yeah, like Captain Marvel's goose? Okay.

Big Cat. Are you going to be cool in that? Yes. You can keep it chilled. Why would I not be cool? Well, because, let's see, the last time we were hanging out and we got charged by, like, two Jaguars, if I remember correctly, you went like hog wild. Those were jaguars.

I don't instinctively hate all felines. I'm not marmaduke. Okay. Okay. Be cool. That's all I'm saying. We approach the flurkin with respect. It's one of the biggest flurkin you've ever seen.

Sure. I mean, if he stood on his hind legs, he'd be as tall as an average man. and he's he's got black stripes on him too which is weird amongst flurking but he definitely has black stripes Simon walks up and says Flurking hard or hardly flurkin

Oh my god and which he follows with If you're a shopper I'm your swapper What can I do for you? And you notice the high I'm on his chest reads H-O-B-Z.

His name is Hobbs. Oh, boy. Fun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist-owned. Audience. Audience supported.