The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Outre Space - Episode 4

Episode Date: December 21, 2023

The Babysitters jump through spheres and broods to search for their missing friend, only to find someone they never expected at the center of it all. Kate and Simon get some reps in. Miles and Sebastian turbo-hug it out. Thori goes ham. Special guests Kate Welch: https://www.instagram.com/katewelchhhh/ Gabe Hicks: https://instagram.com/gabejamesgames/ We're playing the Marvel Multiverse RPG: https://www.marvel.com/rpg Additional Music in this Episode: “The Unknown” and “Simple Song” by Jar of Flies: https://jaroffliesofficial.bandcamp.com/; “Unforeseen Consequences (Remastered)” by Techtheist: https://techtheist.ru/; “Somethings Out There” by Holizna: https://holiznaroyaltyfree.bandcamp.com/; “choice” by Roman: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/roman/; “When the Wick is Gone” by The Pangolins: http://thepangolins.yolasite.com/; “We must explore” by Moon Toad: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/moon-toad/; “Embers and Ashes” by Anenon: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Anenon/; “Testing your limits” by Pawel Feszczuk: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/pawel-feszczuk/; “Languid dawn” by Blear Moon: https://blearmoon.bandcamp.com/; "Haunts" by Triple5 Here: https://soundcloud.com/steven-stresau; “Stay Safe in The Upcoming Storm” by Schemawound: https://schemawound.com/; “Odd Singularity” by 1st Contact: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/1st-contact/; “Time Flux” by Revolution Void: http://www.revolutionvoid.com; "Bye-xx" by Koi-Discovery: https://koi-discovery.lescigales.org/; and “Blind Elephant” by Lisa Hammer: https://www.lisahammer.com/.   Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Salutation, true believers. File on in for the frenetic, fantastic fist-clenching finale of the adventure's own uteruspace. Like the escape artist worm, this one is truly off the hook with Kablam Kate Welch, Gadzooks Gabe Hicks, Jumping Ghisatt, Justin McElroy, good God, your Griffin McElroy, and Tymy Kangaroo down Travis McElroy. And if you've never used any of those adjectives before, give yourself a no prize. Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode four of the Adventure Zone, Ultra Space. We are gathered here.

We have just... We're gathered here today. We are gathered here today to say farewell to six intrepid adventurers. You had just gone into the fluster and punched in the... first coordinates to transfer to the first sphere in your quest. And you have appeared inside someplace that is complete and utter darkness. There is this terrible acidic smell. It's very warm. And this terrible chittering, clacking sound from all these different sources. It's very unnerving. As a matter of fact, it's more than just unnerving. It's

making you are super brave heroes almost fearful. What do you do? The scare crow. Sorry? No, that's not out of Canada. There's no way. It's just no way. Unless.

Kate Bishop is extremely brave and has an edge on any action check required to deal with fear. So I'm keeping my shit together. Pretty well. Okay. Okay, good. Same here. We're both military, as you can tell. Does Kate maybe also have a flashlight?

Yeah. Yes. I would light stuff up, but I think if I did, the pod would explode or something. Now, maybe I have an arrow that is glowing when I try to shoot it, and it's emitting sunlight. So I would draw my most luminous arrow, which might also be explosive if I wait too long, and draw and see if that casts any light around me. Okay. I like that.

I'm not even going to make your role for it because I think that would just be an action. So do so. Okay, I do. What do I see? Here's what you see. The sphere is about 180 feet across. And you five are standing on a small, rounded ledge

projecting from the side of the sphere. There is room for all five of you on this, but just barely. I mean, you've got very little room to work. And you can kind of tell there's something on the other side, but you can't quite make it out. Are you holding on to this shining arrow, or what are you doing with it?

Yeah, I'm just holding it and pointing it like one would to try to look around to cast the light. I'm not going to shoot it unless there's clear and present danger. Okay. Here's what you can make out. that on the other side of the sphere is a similar rounded ledge, and there's some kind of machinery on it. You can tell because there are occasional lights flashing.

You can't quite make out what it is, but as you move the arrow around to try to get an idea, you hold it down a little closer to the ledge to look down over the side. and about 50 feet below you, scrabbling over themselves with fanged mandibles clacking against each other are 189 of the brood.

Sebastian. Yes? No. Yeah. Wrong one. Make a logic check with your. shield training. Hmm.

Okay. Oh my goodness. That's a fantastic success. Fantastic success. Well, in that case... He knows who the brood are and he knows their mom's name. He knows them name by name. All 189.

You know that the brood are insectoid beings. They travel through space and they find hosts, which they infest with their spawn. They are... They evolved to reproduce and consume any available sources. They're like parasitic. What they do is they steal the body. of others and reproduce.

So they are just insidious in the moral universe. But unlike other parasitic creatures, they don't grow their own bodies. They take over the hosts and change it into a brood form of the host, taking control of them. And that's not all I know about them. What else do you know?

I also know their secret weakness. Do you? And let me tell you all what it is. is now. I'm listening. No, no, no. I did the, I did the role with a fantastic success. I'd like a weakness is all I'm saying.

Like, maybe just with my shield training, I know how people have fended off brood attacks before how we've been able to. And I feel like with an 18, Fantastic 18, I feel like I definitely know at least how we fought them before. Shield has never had any success against the brood. No shit. The X-Men have had very little success. Sebastian's just like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. You're running through your brain, and Captain Marvel, very little success. Okay, are you, does anybody know Captain Marvel?

I do. Wait, which. We actually dated for a while when she was Miss Marvel. That's wholly unsurprising. Yeah. But you probably just can't get her here. If not. I will.

I'll give you this. If you were to fight one brood, you would be able to eventually get past their armor and their biting. And you would probably be able to destroy one, maybe two or three. But in doing that, you would be infected by the other brood. And as a bonus knowledge, I'll also tell you that you would be taken over. Even Simon, who's a bean of ionic energy. Oh, Simon. So it takes so very little to absolutely obliterate Justin and I's ability.

Oh, both of our names start with S. What are we going to do? I'm looking down at this brood with my arrow and I lean over to Miles. I'm like, X26 might not have been right. Yeah, I don't know. What do you think they taste like? The brood? I was wondering the same questions, Spide?

Probably like... It probably depends on how they're prepared because they could be like freeze-dried cricket. Have you ever had those? Yes. How big are they? Because it's hard to see. Oh, that?

Let me answer that for you. And he opens his mouth and out comes this answer. All different sizes. And they're all these hideous insectoid-looking things with needle-like teeth. Some are little. Those are called the broodlings. Game Master, I would like to test something based off of Grisbella's warning.

What was her real name? The Flinic, it wasn't Grisabella. That's from... Glebella. What did Rumbtum Tugger? What did Romptertogger tell us before we got in here? Based off of the railway cat, based on the Skimble Shanks warning, I'm going to just like spark up a little ionic energy. Hell no, I'm out.

And just... Now, this is just a test, just a little bit, and see what, like, do I feel rumbling? You know what I mean? Like, is it like, oh, bad news bears? I can't do that at all. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Real quick, just let me link something in real quick, just linking something in the channel. My man. It's called the shield of the seraphim. It's a magical shield that protects us from physical damage. Any attacks against us do the 20 points of damage or less or instantly absorbed. So I'm going to put this shield up in front of the rest of us. Okay. Cute.

That's good. All right. Describe that, Wonder Man. So think of it more of just like he puts his thumb and his forefinger together, his thumb and his pointy finger and spreads it out with like an arc of ionic energy between them. Okay. And just like seeing if it's like the presence of that at all is troubling. Okay.

When you do that, two things happen. It provides some illumination. And with that illumination, you can. can make out that the device on the ledge across the sphere from you is the next transmat device that you need. We got to get over there, guys. And the other effect is that when you create that arc, some sparks fly out of the device. Okay.

Put it away. Put it away. Oh, it's gone. Oh, it's gone. It's got so quick. And the sparks stop. Who do you think is more technically savvy? I mean, could be...

Yeah. Yeah, probably Spider-Man. Yeah, probably Miles. Okay. I mean, I was a, uh, weapons designer tycoon. I've got a little bit of that. We get it. You're not Tony Stark. I mean, I'm, okay.

He is my, like, main rival in my head. Um, I get that. All right. Okay, Miles, Miles, give me a vigilance. Ten. I'm going to use my last karma. Because you got to get over 12. 13.

Hell yeah. I mean, heck yeah. What is it? 13. Okay, you can tell that those sparks didn't do any permanent damage to the transmat device. It may have overloaded it a little bit, but it did not damage it. So it looks like they didn't do any damage, but that might be actually good for us, because if we get to a point where we have to overload the system in any way,

Wonder Man just light it up. Now, listen, if we're talking about traversal here, right? you can you know do web things I can fly so like if you can get Sebastian over there I could like carry Kate and the dog

no I don't like that you don't like me carrying you over there I am not luggage I'm not okay sorry I didn't mean to I can jump it

50 feet It's 180, right? Yeah. No. 180. Yeah. It's 50 feet down. It's 50 feet down.

Okay, wait. But if you can get a 50 foot jump towards the platform, you're going to end up in the brood. Yeah. So even then, if it's 180 feet across and it's in the middle, talking 90 feet. You could jump 90 feet? No one can look while he carries me. Okay. Do you want to ride on my back?

What? I could sit on your back and kind of wrap my legs around and grip you that. What's the most... It's like a horse? What's the least humiliating way? You mean you ask me? Yeah. Scoop me up in your arms like a child.

Okay. And Kate, do you want to get on my back or... Yeah, sure. Yeah. Okay. I climb. Okay, so I pick story up like a baby. And Kate's on my back and I start floating my way over.

Mr. Druid, do you want me to carry you? Because I know you can teleport and I think they just forgot that. Yeah, that's okay I don't mind I'm not particularly well known in terms of what I can do so I'll just teleport every do you, do you want me to teleport you? It's pretty safe.

Yeah, no, that'd be great. I don't want to swing over that. Okay, get in my cape. What? Well, I can only teleport myself and I can take you, but you have to get into my cape. Is that safe?

Is that a euphemism? No, it's just Oh man, I hate Yeah, it's I wish I could do it But like you have to get in my cape If you want to breathe in there What?

You won't need there Okay, no But you won't need to That's good right Oh, okay You can swing if you want to go for it You probably have to Look hey I trust you

I'm like implicitly Mr. Druid All right While you discuss this I want to fill you in You guys are talking about it And it's good. We'll come back to that.

But as they already took off, Travis, are you using ionic energy to fly? Oh, God. Oh, no. Well, so, no, the thing is, because of his just nature, he is lighter than air. Like, he can fly. It does not require energy to do it.

And in fact, I can back that up by saying the power in the Marvel RBG is not part of the elemental powers. Okay. That's just part of the basic power. That and his strength are not related to the ionic energy. I'm glad you elaborated that because, yeah, he's lighter than air. I'm like, I'm glad you elaborated it's a power because Kate, the dog game. It is a power.

It's just not from the elemental side of thing. Okay. Well, I will say this. You fly as you get closer to the transporter. Sparks begin to fly from it. Oh, God. Just from your presence. Just your whole deal.

The ionic presence. Yeah. So, okay, back to Miles. and Sebastian, what do you do? All right, I'm getting the cape. Okay. Mouth takes in a deep breath. Describe that.

Yeah, okay. All right. It's like, so do I just, do I just dive in? Yeah, I wouldn't dive. You could dive. You can just climb in slow or whatever. You just kind of get in there. And he kind of like, like, can I make a suggestion?

Can I make a suggestion? Yeah. Can I make one suggestion to you before? Yeah. Don't, don't, don't, I'm serious. Don't go half a little. way and then stop some people have done that and that's gonna feel rough that's gonna be bad i need you to get in real quick or don't get in but just don't go halfway hey mr druid yeah

i hate this conversation and my else i'm okay okay well now sebastian you got to give me some kind of roll here oh my god don't you bet this that seems that seems a hundred percent fair to me dog 100 percent i think i think i think i'm going to have to ego roll. But I will tell you this. I'll give you an edge. Yeah, don't say advantage we'll go to jail. Give me an edge. Don't you ruin this for me. Okay. Oh, okay. You don't even need the edge. Nah, do it anyways. No, but dad, tell me, tell me what was I trying to hit? I wanted you hit 14. You hit 17. I should have asked you before. Let me see if I can get that. Nope, it's the exact same one again. Okay. And then once you, once you appear there, remember.

it's still total darkness. Oh, no, Kate's holding her era. Okay, so you've got some light, and you can see that there are even more sparks flying off of that portal. As a matter of fact, an alarming number. How close am I? You've made it. You guys are there. You've made it.

Then I back off. Like, you guys figure it out. I'll be over here. Let me know when you're ready. Okay. I look down at the brood below. These creatures represent an existential threat to any world that they might be loosed upon, correct? I mean, yeah. They're so bad. Yeah, they're 100% bad. They're super bad.

Then I am duty bound to destroy them. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Thori. I don't think that's a good idea. I don't think that's a good call because, I mean, how many could you, can you actually bite through? There's hundreds of them down there. I don't think you can eat all. I don't think. I have firebress.

Oh, you know I don't like that. Now I'm going to do it out of spite. And I shoot an elemental blast of fire down into the hate bugs. Okay. If we can kill all these things, we are stopping apocalyptic level events from unfolding. I don't know whose fucking evil bugs these are. I hope we never find out. I feel like, I don't want to say he's got a point, but I think he kind of has a point.

He's a point? Yeah. He's the only one who's not heroic. All right. All right. So let's roll it. You add one to your agility damage? Yes.

So I'm going to, and this is with Edge. So I got a 4-4-2. I'm going to replace the two. And nope. So that is a 14 total against the brood. It hits one of them. Okay, 16 damage. Okay.

You did 16. Oh, wait, no, I have to spend focus. So I'll spend another 20 here to make that 26 damage. Oh, that really hurt that brood. Just the one brood that you hit. Just the one. I love that he keeps emphasizing it's the one out of the 170. Wow, that one is really miserable.

And then as you did that, more sparks are flying with greater rapid turnaround. I mean, it's sparks and then more sparks and then more sparks. And it's getting a little dicey. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Hey, put in the Y coordinates real quick. Let me out of your cloak. Have you tell them? teleported over yet.

Okay. There's weird snacks in here. You should throw that cheese out. What was the question? Is somebody, what do you guys do? Put in the Y coordinates. Y-19. Okay.

And as it triggers Simon zooms in. Okay. And you are automatically transported to a new sphere. We can go back later if you want. I'm talking to Thoree. I know. I know.

I think we're going to have to go back later with more weaponry. I could have handled that. I know, I know, but we could go back and get, we'll go back and get them. Okay, we'll go back and get them. We can both, we're both. You promise. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Thank you. If the downloads are there, we'll be there. We'll come back. Well, unlike the previous fear, this one is well lit, well illuminated. The walls are covered in display cases. of them covered by some clear substance, except for one case, which is open. There is a small viewing pad on a table nearby next to a pile of items. Now, let me describe this case in front of you.

It's open. It has seven individual stands with little. pairs of footprint indentations on each one of them. And six of the seven stands have a symbol on them. There's an hourglass, a mirror, a flexing arm, a brain, a ghost, and a skull. One of them is blank. Now, the items laying on the table are, of course, intergalactically beloved megot action figures, and they are of different Marvel entities.

There's Natasha Romanov, there's Thanos, there's Daredevil, Ben Grimm the Thing, an aim agent, mystique, and Hulk. And as you draw near, the video tablet fires up, and a hologram appears hovering above it. And it's the face of Tanaleer Tivan, the collector. Sorry, sorry. Yeah, it's a hologram. And the collector says,

Karina, I'm giving you a chance to redeem yourself for your recent indiscretions with that infinity stone. You know what to do with these. When you do it right, I will allow you to beam out. Do it wrong, and you are fired. And by fired, I mean, the chamber will fill with white-hot plasma burning you to ashes. again. Do we see ashes anywhere? No. Don't make me regret having you resurrected.

Chow! And the collector's visage disappears. This storage unit belongs to the collector. You want to piss on some stuff? If you'll excuse me. Yeah, I'm going to make a terrible, terrible. I'm going to make a terrible...

I don't know what kind of role you want from this. In fact, it can happen off camera if we don't want to to work too blue today. But I make a terrible mess of things in this. While that's going on in the background. All right. I'm making a melee attack against the vibe. That's a 21 fantastic success.

You're kidding me. No, that's a fantastic 21 success. Oh. All right. Describe what you're doing. Describe what you're doing. I'm not going to. No, no, no, no, no. I can't describe what I'm doing.

You do with a fantastic, my friend. I make it. So that when the collector does come back here someday, he won't be the same. In fact, you know what? I'm going to delay this action. And I say, I'm ready to do my thing. You all solve the puzzle or whatever. God.

All right. Okay, here's what I'm thinking. Yeah. Two of them I know. Hourglass. Okay. That's Black Widow. That's a Black Widow right there.

The red hourglass. Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. Mastique is the mirror. Right? She's got to be the mirror. Copy people and look at people.

Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Their devil's probably the skull. Well, no. Yeah, see, that's what I'm a lot, because the flexing arm could be the thing or Hulk. It feels like Hulk, yeah. And what about ghost? Also, isn't there only six of those things in seven names?

Well, because there's one that's blank. Yeah, yeah. I would say Thanos is ghost or is the... Oh, shit. Oh, geez. Thanos is the skull, right? Thanos seems very skull. Because he brings...

rings death, yeah. Vanitas is death? Oh, cool. So is an aim agent like super sneaky? Are they like a ghost? Are they like good at infiltration? Yeah, Clint, can you, we presumably would know in character what an aim agent is, but I don't. Can you tell us what that is?

Yes. And aim agent is they are enemies of like shield and just about everybody else has fought them. They wear these. They wear these. They wear these. Yeah, they wear these distinctive yellow. They look like hazmat suits. And the babysitters encountered them in Journey into Mystery.

And you have fought them before. Okay, okay. Are they especially ghost flying? No. It's a... I guess Daredevil would be brain. He's a... He's an investigator, right?

It's stats, right? They're stats. Malay, agility, right? The flexing arms melee. The brain is the skull, the ghost. They match up, right? With... I don't know what stat ghost is.

Yeah, what stat would be ghost. Ego? What about hourglass? Agility? Agility, maybe. I like mirror would be ego, right? Somebody give me a logic check. Somebody with high,

logic. I have three logic. Is that good for us? I think that might be you. I think you're the highest. Eleven? Yeah, I need a 13. You need a 13.

Okay, all right. I'll spend some karma. That's my last karma. Come on, baby. No. No. Yep. That's an 11.

That's the most logical we can be as a group. Don't worry. I got this. I'll make a logic trick. Okay. Yes. The only makes a logic. Oh.

That's a 12. My logic is a minus one. Yeah. All right. Do you want to use a karma? Spend a karma point? No, I don't. All right.

I will tell you this. Between your 11 and your 12 together, you put your heads together. And here comes your clue. Okay. Oh. Oh, they're the infinity stones. They're infinity stones.

That's. So time. Oh, color. Color. Derebells. red, hulks green. There we go. There we go. There we go. Yellow. So wait, but wait, wait. Jim has met suits.

Do you mind? Oh, wow. This is so embarrassing. Looking it up. Dad, hold up the glove again. Oh, I can see it back there. But you don't know which Jim goes to which, right? I do. I bet she does. Oh, thank God, Kate. Yeah. The blue one is the space stone. The yellow one is the mine stone. The red one is the reality stone. Purple is the power stone. Green is the time stone. And amber is the soul stone. The color of energy. Yeah. We know that. So,

there is also a black infinity stone. Okay. Okay. Oh, that's black widow. That's how black widow. Okay. Okay. So flexing power. So that's power is red. Purple. Oh, wait. Power is Purple. Reality is red. Yeah. All right. So that would be, that would probably be mystique. Yes.

Well, I guess, or Thanos? Because he's purple. That's true. Yeah. Yeah, mystique would be blue. So then. So I would have to say reality is the, reality is the mirror. Okay.

Right. Showing your reality. Right. Okay. That's cool. Sure. Yeah. I would buy that.

That's red. So that's daredevil? So put daredevil in the mirror. Okay. Who wants to do it? I'll write it down. We're all kind of getting a hand on the... I'll do it.

Derrtle mirror. Thanos power. Hulk is the hourglass for the time stone. Hulk. The ghost is the soulstone. The ghost is the soulstone. Presumably. Yes.

The orange. So the ghost is the thing. Yeah. Okay. Thing. Yep. And then the brain is the minestone. what is yellow.

Aim agent. And then the black stone is Natasha Romanov, right? A skull, sorry, skull. Yeah, gotta be. Well, hold on, because there's a missing stone image, right? Because there's only six of the images, so.

Correct. There's one that's just black. Oh. So we have Daredevil Mirror, Hulk hourglass, the thing ghost, the mindstone, so the brain with the am agent. That Thanos is the flexing arm, purple, but what is? Yes, that's it. The last one is the reality stone? Well, so there's a blackstone that's war.

Right. The space stone is blue. Have we solved that yet? No, I don't think there's a symbol for space. Okay. So I think that would be the middle one. Okay. So the missing one is mystique.

Okay, okay. The skull's the black stone for black stone. Got it. We did it. And with that, the case slides closed. On the other side of the room, a door opens and out pops a transmat device. Nice. You all go on ahead.

That is starting to spark. Oh, geez. Sorry. Okay. Okay. Sorry, that's on me. That's my bad. Okay, we put in the code, but before we hit enter, sorry, start your terrible stuff, and then we'll hit enter.

Oh, yeah. I do want to... You go on ahead. I will follow. I can't risk you all being caught in the collateral damage. I don't want to see it. You don't want to see it, Kate Bishop. Okay.

Okay, okay, okay. Z-73. Will you take... Thoree, will you take my phone and video it so at least we can make that decision? Yes. Put it in your mouth. Will you put it on the ground?

I have... I have a tripod. A little. Okay. Okay. A little guy pod? Cool. A little guy pod.

I love you people. Go for it. See on the other side. Don't forget to hydrate. Thank you. Z-73, buddy. You got that? Z-73.

And you vanish from this sphere and you reappear in a third sphere. And we wait for Thori before commencing in any... We keep our... Yeah, five minutes. Five minutes pass.

Ten minutes. And then, I appear. Just give us a second. Why Thoris Pian? Yeah. Did you guys hear Demi Lovato's new song? I'm not usually Demi Lovato guy,

but it was a remix of a... Cool for the summer. Do you all hear it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, good. Do you know her? Anybody know Demi Lovato? I know her.

Yeah. Not like nowhere, nowhere, but we end up being like in a lot of the same. circles, you know what I mean? So it's like... Is... Mild are people still listen? Are kids still listen to Demi Lovato?

Or is it like... Is that just kind of my... No, like, yeah, we're still like Demi Lovato. But there is... You know how like Spider-Man's like... Vizers kind of narrow sometimes? When Wonder Man says, yeah, we hang out in the same circles. Miles's eyes like...

No. ...and Wonder Man. Okay. Jason Statham, I believe. everyone else Demi Levada? No one. This is what I'm saying. I'm not like, I'm out of Bernie.

That's a relish. Oh, God. Why are you wet? I am victorious. Thor, you stink. Justice. Justice has been exacted. He drops the phone.

You're going to want to put that in a bag of right. I I Sebastian Tents his fingers and says Wom Taw and summons the winds of Wattoum

to blow Thori dry from all the you know accumulated humid moisture and the odors I am wet all over

I'm wet all over but my ear are singed. It's like a, it's a very, I'm in a very confusing state. It looks like a, like one of those dyson air blades just blows him dry with my, thank you. I leaned to Miles. I'm like, did he roll in it? Yeah, they, they do that sometimes, but like, he chose that. Yeah, so he did it and then he rolled in his own. Where did all that water come from? I don't think it's water, babe. Yeah. I've got good news. I've got the napkin again. if we forget the codes

I've retrieved no no this is the last place thanks story you are welcome you hang on to it or you can throw it out okay you see as he takes out

Sebastian quietly just tugs his cloak really tight he doesn't want that he would be a thought like maybe that would be a good place to store it last week the greatest generation the comedy podcast about old Star Trek TV shows like Star Trek The Next Generation,

Deep Space 9 and Voyager, just had its 500th episode. And Greatest Trek, the podcast about the new Star Trek shows like Strange New World's Lower Decks and Discovery just had its 250th episode. So whether you have a task that's roughly 750 hours long

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Most listened to Star Trek Podcasts in the world. They're on maximum fun. Cameron Esposito here, comedian and host of query. Every week I get to interview someone amazing from the LGBTQ-I-A-plus community. Some queeros. I chat with them about their lives, loves, careers, and more.

I've talked to, you know, giant celebs, Trixie Mattel, Lena Waith, Teagan, and Sarah Quinn, but also astronauts, reverends, nurses. It's funny, it gets deep, and hopefully it makes you feel like you're part of something. Join me every Monday on Maximum Fun to listen to Query with Cameron Esposito. You look around. This third sphere looks like a weight room in a flop house. There are weights and punching bags and workout equipment.

There's a poster of Drax of the Destroyer with devil horns and a mustache drawn on it. There's a plaque on the wall that says employees of the month and it's signed by Thanos. And two massive beanbag chairs are set up in front of a PS5 with Baldur's Gate playing on a screen on the wall. And two massive forms extricate themselves from the beanbag chairs and turn to face you. And these are the Blood Brothers. Somebody do a logic check. Of course he was in the breakup room. And we're going to need a 14.

Okay. Not getting there. Got a 12. Anybody else? Somebody else. A fantastic failure. Ooh. That's an 11.

Okay. Okay. He knows exactly about them, but he's wrong. With a fantastic failure, something happens. Nice. They turn and face you and look at you and think you're very inconsequential. So they get back in their beanbag chairs.

Somebody else give me a logic check Disarm that situation We're safe I'll try I'll twilight Oh my god Wow Has anybody not done one?

Yeah I rolled it 11 This is no longer an us problem It's their problem For not being famous enough For us to know It's the thing But like twice

You got us man save us from ourselves Sebastian do it Oh the The Blood Brothers Yeah okay Oh yeah There is Let me tell you all about it.

And you know that these are the Blood Brothers, Gere and Ross, G-H-R-E-E-E and R-D-H-O-S. I did not make that one up. Gary and Ross Blood are two rocklights, better known as the Blood Brothers. They were in the service of the conqueror Thanos for years. They were members of his butcher squadron and later acted as the guardians of his first base on Earth. One of them was killed by Drax. But he got better. And what happens, guys?

Yeah, Marvel. So. Yeah, there's a whole club for it. When Sebastian, I deed them, they got back out of their beanbags. And Ross says, oh, Gary, what a nice surprise. You booked a 430 without telling me. And Gary says, don't pull that passive aggressive shit with me, Ross. You know I would never do that.

And Ross says, you have before. And Gary looks at you all and says, don't ever go into business with a brother. It'll kill you. Yeah, tell me about it. So what do you guys do? That's how Wonder Man died too. But you should try to...

Okay, listen, try to talk to him about that. Maybe you can build a common ground. There's worst ways to start a friendship. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, man, tell me about it. My brother, I don't know if this name rings any bills, The Grim Reaper. Huh?

He became literally my... I would say number one nemesis. Dude that shows up all the time. It's like, you know, my real brother and tries to kill me. It's bono. That's terrible. Yeah. I don't understand what that has to do with you guys doing a workout.

What, with, uh, oh, are we doing a workout? Was that not what you're here for? Absolutely. Yeah. Miles immediately goes invisible and starts snooping around the room. This is weird. I haven't had a workout in hours. So I'm ready.

I'm ready to go. I've got combat expert. I'm combat reflexes. All of my my fast strikes. I am, I'm ready to work out. Okay, everybody but Miles, roll for initiative. Yeah. You guys got this.

It's hilarious. I have an edge on initiative I found out. Can I make the suggestion that Miles should still be in the initiative order? Just invisible. I think he could just not. Well, he announced his action first. Oh, okay. So I'm giving him another action.

I'm giving him a different action. Okay. You guys go ahead and roll for initiative. Does fantastic success do anything on initiative? Oh, I think you get a freebie. You get a free action. You'll get a free action. Oh, that's dope.

I got a nine. So, before combat starts, Miles, you're snooping around. Yep. give me a vigilance check. You got it. And I'm going to need... 16.

I'm going to need a 15. You got a 16. All right. You see a post-it note stuck to one of the barbells. And it says, if anybody shows up looking for me,

you know what to do. And it's signed Cole. obsidian. And he put a little Esquire on there afterwards because, you know, like some people do. But he's not really an esquire. So this note says,

says just that. If anybody comes looking for me, you know what to do. Wow. And I will give you another action before combat starts. I want to look for like a hidden door or something. I don't trust this place.

There's no way they were just playing Baldur's Gate. What's wrong with Baldur's Gays? It's a very good game. But it isn't a two-player game, is it? Were they both playing it? It is, technically. On the PS5? Oh.

Something's wrong here. I don't think you could do local. Does Thori react to the fact the game is Balders Gated all? I think it's spelled different, isn't it? Oh, yeah. That's certainly nuance that won't escape a talking dog. Ooh, you know what? Miles is going to take over their game. Oh, that's so messed up, dude.

He's going to hop over and just be like, whoa. I thought Thori was the only murderer. Hey, hey, hey, hey, what are you doing? Don't, no, hey, I've been playing for 273 hours. I hover over the jump button and then I gesture it towards a gap. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just stop, just stop, just stop, just stop. Stop.

Wait, is Moss still invisible? Yeah. No, I don't. Because it would look like just on the screen, the character is just like, right? It would just look like the characters of its own volition. Tell us what happened. The ghost of your repercussions will jump you into the pit. What the hell?

Ross, are you doing that? That's what you get for your boss breaking up with Black Swan. What do you mean our boss? What do you want with our boss? Miles was quiet. He didn't expect to get this far. They can see y'all. Hold on a minute.

Hold on a minute. Now I sound like Ralph from the Muppets. Sorry. We are looking doctor teeth, but sure. They both turn and look at you guys and stop whatever they were doing in the battle and say, You guys know? Call Obsidian?

We run in the same circles. I wouldn't say we're friends. Is that what you're doing here? Yes. Oh. Okay. Well, he was here. You know, he has a session.

He comes in, you know, and comes in every day and lifts, bro. Yeah. He also said everybody showed up. We should kill him, but if you guys are friends. Oh, yeah. The postcard doesn't apply to these people. That's your conscience.

Is one of you guys a ghost? Yes. Okay, don't hurt us. We are deathly afraid, says Gary. I saved their game. Oh, all right. You're good. Have they played for 273 hours without saving once?

Gary has. Oh, my God, Gary. So he said, look, look, you guys. You seem like good dudes. No, thanks. He was here about a half hour ago, but he got a call during his session, and it seemed to, you know, shake him up a little bit.

So he said he was going to chill out somewhere and find his center. Somebody with good ego. I guess that would be Sebastian. Give me an ego check. And you got it. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Yes, thank you. You're going to have to give me at least 14.

To what? To hit on the ego check. Okay. It comes to every day to work out. And they're like, all right, Baldur's Gatebreak. We got a bench. What are they, what am I trying to? So I'm trying to what, though?

I mean, I understand past the ego check. What am I attempting to do? Get a little more information out of them. Okay. Nice. Nice. Okay, 17. So, yeah, when he's looking to chill out,

he goes to the amphilos sphere. That's the sphere at the very center of the fluster. Makes sense, yeah. He says the hum of the force emitter soothes his, you know, like his migraines. The ionic force emitter? Yeah. Oh, okay. Wow.

So you are buddies of his. Oh, yeah. Real tight. We actually just saw him. You did? Yeah, he's not where you said he was. In fact, he's looking for the two of you. He's over in sphere Y-19.

Oh. Dude. Nice. Come on, Gary. And Gary and Ross go to the other transmat. Punch in three numbers and disappear. And somehow, I don't know how. Somehow you hear horrible.

Horrible screens. Horrible. Can I rip the wiring out of it? They went in through the one we came into the room. Exactly. Yeah, I'll just, I destroy that. Transmat machine. Okay.

When you destroy that, okay. Yeah, go ahead and roll. You got to hit a four. That's a 21. 21. Not only do you tear it up, but you also pee on it. shows up and says that's how I like it. Yeah.

While you're watching all this, you guys smell a little bit of ozone. And you hear like sparking sounds. Somebody with high vigilance. Give me a vigilance check. I got three. Is that good? Yeah. I have four.

Oh, do it. Do it, Lori. I got a Fantastic 13. Okay. Fantastic 13. You don't really see anything, but you do smell. You do have an enhanced sense of smell. And you smell an odor coming from the employee of the month plaque.

I'm going to follow my nose and pull that down off the wall. When you move it, the graffiti marred poster of Drax slides up, revealing the last transmat machine that you need. But this one, instead of having three digits, has six, three letters, and three numbers. Ask them. Like that? Isn't that like three letters and then three numbers? Exactly. Okay.

Now, I will help you out here. D-I-X-4-20. Enter. Very good. Yeah. That doesn't work. Sorry, guys. Dix 4-20.

Got it. Yes. We could ask those two. stone men, but they are almost certainly dead already. Yeah. Nothing happens. Nothing happens. What?

Why would they be dead? He sent them to the broo. He sent him to the broo. No, I sent them to the stone. He sent them to the collector's room. Oh, well, that would kill them too. Yeah, exactly. That would kill them too.

You really have to understand what terrible things he did in there. All right. I'm limbering up for my workout. And so I think, I feel like if we just throw some punches on these, like, punching bags that I assume are there, we can probably, we can sort this out. Right? Like, I, I, I, no offense, but you, you all look like you could use a little bit, a little bit of adrenaline, those endorphins that come from a good workout. Come on. Right. You are, you are right. I actually don't. I don't work out. I begin doing dog exercises. Okay, Kate, when you start doing that, um, there is, uh, an intercom on the wall. And it's Glebella. And she says, Hey, fellas, listen, I'm getting some readings, and it's showing a lot of activity there.

It's showing that, you know, a lot of stuff's going on. Is everything all right? And in the background, you can hear that Jackson 5 song playing. It's your favorite song. Everything's as easy as ABC. One, two, three. Everything is going just fine in here. here.

Cermit? I don't... Oh, okay. And what about and I'm sorry to just stops and looks at Kate? I'm going for sort of a gritty Kermit reboot.

It's working for you, honey. It's working. I love that. Thank you. You know everything. I cast... I cast image of icon on Kate. Okay.

I've cast image of icon on Kate to make her sound exactly like the brothers Ross and Gary Gary Gary oh I thought she did already Wow thank you

oh yeah but it's just like even more so okay everything's all right I'll talk to you boys later see it the next one question though we're so stoned from all of the space drugs that we

we don't remember the code to get to the center Wonder Man's waving it off Wonder Man's like we've got it Oh, we do. We do know it. Nope, we remember. We figured it out.

Thanks anyway. All right. See at the next sphere owner's meeting. Absolutely. Signs off. Come here. Come here. Come here.

It's the sinner one, right? So it's hers. It's her favorite song. And he types it in the panel, ABC. One, two, three. And you are instantly. Transmatted. To the.

the umphilos sphere. And you see power conduits, you see banks of monitors, technology, dominated by one very large iridescent sphere. She's really got to think for spheres. In the center of the chamber,

it's about 10 feet up, about halfway between the floor and the ceiling, suspended by the six conduits on three different axes. And from the other side, side of the room, you hear a voice. And that voice says, uh, that was about time. And out from the other side of the room, steps,

Obsidian Cull, the black dwarf. We were looking for Corvus Glave, right? Mm-hmm. This is a different member of the Black Order that we have stumbled upon. Yeah. Okay. Just making sure. So, uh, Why are you guys spending all this energy and stuff looking for me?

Oh, technically not looking for you, sir. We are looking for a Corvus Glave, actually. My brother. Yeah, known associates, one might say. Yeah, yeah, we are kind of on the hunt. You don't happen to know where he is, do you? Why would I tell you? Oh, we're, let's put it this way.

We're on a rescue mission. And at this point, you're standing between us and saving our friends. And time is kind of getting away from us at this point. We're starting to get real twitchy. Oh, and also your friend Blacksworth. Or she's getting real pissed at you. Oh, is she really? Is she really?

Yeah. Yeah. This part's not bad. And then another voice from the other side of the sphere says, maybe you should update your information. And Black Swan walks out and wraps an arm around obsidian cull's waist. You were not kidding. It is complicated.

Yeah, it is complicated. And she says, you guys were asking so many questions about my baby here. I wasn't going to let just hang him out to dry. So I came to warn him that you were coming. What took you so long? It was the broodling room. Wasn't it the brood room? No, actually, that was simpler than the one, the collector's escape room.

That was a little bit tricky. The broodlings were just kind of floated over, teleported past. Mm-hmm. So we're all back together now. Okay, cool. That doesn't change the fact we're looking for our friends. And you guys are still between us on that one. And who is your friend?

Yeah, say it. Say it's a baby. Her name is Lausa Oden's daughter. She's a toddler, and she's cool. She's cool as fun. Let me tell you a little something. All of us in the Black Order have like this psychic connection through Ebony Mall. I don't expect you to know that, but it's kind of a mental text chain.

Sure. And two days ago, Corvus vanished from that chain. So which one of you best each has killed my brother? Okay. Unfortunately, none of us. Yeah. It's starting to feel like, if I may, perhaps. A miscommunication has occurred.

Yeah, what he said. It seems like maybe we just got some wires crossed. at some point. Mm-hmm. Will you want to team up? No, that felt wrong even saying it. I'm sorry. Team side, maybe?

Team near? Wait, wait, wait, wait. So where was Corvus Glave the last time you were able to talk to him? Well, let's see. He had something, he had some big plan, something he was going to do.

Sure. He was going to some, I don't know. I've never heard of this planetary system. Oklahoma. Are you kidding me? Oklahoma? Yeah.

Are you shitting me? Yes. Okay. No, I'm not shitting you. What? What? Listen, if you're not going to tell me the truth, we're going to have to beat it out of you. Okay, okay.

Let's, can we consider the fact that, hey, this interesting group of people have been asking about Corvus Clave consistently. And if we killed him, why would we do that? That's a fair, it's an excellent point. Also, Black Swan, hey, you're an adult. You can make whatever choices you want. But also, why would you come back to a man that hurt you after you drink? You might be under the influence. You're not making the best decisions.

You are a Black Swan. He's kind of a rock man. Don't settle. It's not really the time for that. Maybe don't make some messages for a second. No, look, look. My mentor has been having issues with, his wife for so long that he needs

to sort out. I don't want to see other people go just talk. Just have a conversation. Yeah, just we might be kind of muddying the waters a little bit as far as like. Yeah, this is space. There's no water. Hey, look pal. You're the ones that came up here, got all up in everybody's face back at Starland

and here, talking about this Lusa, Loussa, Oden's daughter. And, and intimating very strongly that Corvus had something to do with her disappearing. Yeah, we have that video.

Yeah, we have, yeah, we do. You want to see the video? Oh, really? I'll show them. I'll show them the video. Thority of my phone? It's not your phone. No, it was the nanny. Narnie cam.

The Nornikam. I thought I uploaded it to my phone just for the, I thought it's in the cloud. So the Norni cam's not in the cloud. Okay. It's a physical storage medium. I need to know this. I don't know if the cloud works here.

That's a good question. But I got it from the cloud before. All right. You pull out the nornicam and open it up. And it's running because it's magic. Sure. And it's currently, you know, before you can hit the rewind button, you activate it, and it's showing present time. And there, sleeping in her bed is Lousa Oden's daughter.

How dear. Okay. Okay. Okay. This looks. Oh, my gosh. This looks, uh, huh. Wait, so she went to, so he went to Oklahoma and someone killed him and then they put Lausa back in her crib and we just never checked.

It might have been Lausa who did it. Carl lifts his giant at Mace and knocks the nornicam out of your hands, smashing it to pieces. Now listen, I hear that you're mad and Wonder Man turns to Thori and Sebastian goes, did you even check the crib before, like you guys start? collecting all? Give me one second. Did you guys like double check the crib? I'm looking for the exit while this, while this is going on. I'm casting around for the exit. I may have taken my eye off of the ball for a moment back in Oklahoma. Uh-huh. Sparks are flying a little bit from the giant sphere in the middle of the sphere.

Uh-huh. Go on. Oh, my goodness. And I will insert. something here. When all this occurred, Wausa was not in her crib. Yeah, no, we were in the room. The jokes, goofs aside, we were in the room. We saw that it was empty and definitely saw this video. Something peculiar is happening. Is there a possibility that Thor found out his sister was missing? Oh, I just took care of our light work.

This has solved our adventure force. Did anyone check in with Thor actually? Black Swan takes a huge swing at Simon. I thought you were going to say dump. Flexor one takes a huge dump. Wow. On Simon. What do you do, Simon?

What's the against my melee stuff? Yeah, it would be against melee. And I want to tell you, this is going to be an extremely powerful shot. I am going to use Dodge. Um, wait, let me see what my reactions are. Uh, hippo-d-do. Uh, as, uh, she rears back to sing Ed Simon, Wonder Man says,

Okay, I hope you guys don't need to breathe. And holds his hand up and arcs ionic energy and a huge arc behind, between his hands, and switches to his full-on ionic form. Wow. Yeah. When you do that, the sphere,

suspended in the middle of the sphere explodes. The force emitter explodes. Smash cut. Outside the fluster. Becca just happens to look up through the windshield

to see the Flinix cluster, also known as the fluster, erupt outwards. Spheres go flying. everywhere. In a reversal of polarity

of monumental proportions, all those spheres that were attracted to each other are now pushing against each other. And the sphere goes nuts. All the spheres go flying. Gravity is knocked out inside the sphere

you guys are in, the enfloss sphere. It's spinning machinery is flying everywhere. Bodies are flying everywhere. What do you guys do? Everyone? Do any, does any place look safe? Like, can I see any other spheres?

Let me give you a little context that will give it to you. Okay? Um, I just describe everything's flying. On your sci-fi, uh, sci-wifi earbuds, you hear Becca's voice. Guys, are you alive? and stuff. What? And stuff.

The spheres are flying everywhere. They're bouncing off each other like, like billiard balls. Your sphere is zooming through space. I'm barely able to keep up. I'm flying alongside of it, but you are headed right for that asteroid, the one, the big bowl-shaped asteroid. Yeah. My bad.

I sent Supernatural again to see. see if I pick up Lossa's energy within a hundred spaces. Go ahead. I mean, is she trying to stay hidden? No. If not, then this would just either work or not work. It does not work. She is not within that sphere.

You just saw video evidence that she's in Oklahoma. Okay. You are bouncing all over the place. You're soaring through space. What's your number one concern right now is, Stopping, I guess. We need to stop. We need to find a way to stop it.

Well, Becca chimes back in. It says, I'm going to try to slow you down so that maybe you can survive the impact. All right? Maybe. Wait, idea. Hey, Sebastian. Yeah.

Teleport me outside. Okay. Hop him. I get inside his close. Okay. Good. And what happened? Okay.

I teleport him outside. Okay, and Simon braces himself against the front of it and is going to try to stop the big sphere. Okay, good. You're going to have to give me a strength role, and it's going to have to be a mother. Yeah, well, that's good. So I am mighty three. I am at the same level as Thor to give you an idea. What's the number?

What are we trying to hit here? Treat the character as three sizes bigger for lifting, carrying, swinging, and throwing things. And so add plus three to their melee damage multiple player and the game plus three bonus to melee checks other than attacks. So what am I trying to hit here, Pops? Well, I think you're trying to stop the sphere, aren't you?

No, what number? Yeah, I try to slow it down. You better give me Um, it's got to be 15 or more. Okay, but I'm going to, uh, you hit it. That's a 12 plus 3 is 15. Oh, that's true. That is true.

But I'm going to use my last karma here. Okay. So that's six. So it's a 19 now. Didn't get that marvelous. It are fantastic, which is what I wanted. All right. It starts to slow.

But even at this, if you, if you, if you, guys impact at this speed, with you all just flying around on the inside of the sphere, you are going to die. Somebody needs, you guys need to do something inside this sphere. Brace for impact in some way. Who's following us? Oh, in the ship, right? She's following us in the ship?

Becca is, yeah, is trying to help Simon. She's trying to nudge you guys as Simon is slowing down. because at the speed you were going, any impact at all was going to be fatal. But Simon is slowing it down, and she's trying to, like, be up next to the sphere to kind of push it with the Wonderwagon to guide it. Okay, everyone who still...

No, I just tell... I sent you out. I can... I teleported you out. If someone gets in my cloak, I can teleport them to anywhere that I've been before. Okay, everybody, I haven't announced it to make. And it's... I think that my cat...

peed on my cake. And that is mainly by way of apology. Okay, all aboard. Miles, real quick, if you could do me a favor and just to spend the two bad guys so they don't die when it crashes, that would be the world to me personally

and my personal ethos. Don't do it, Miles. It's just my ethos if you could please. Everybody else in, let Miles think. Swandive. There's stinkers, Miles. And think of what bad they could do. if allowed to live.

So they could also do good. Tough choice. I happen. I don't want them to die. They might be bad, but they still have a chance to do something good with their life. Okay. Everyone deserves a chance. Okay.

That's Kate is in. Thori is in. Simon is outside. And I just realized that I can't climb in my own cloak. You can't climb in your. own club. Klan-Klam. I'm okay, everybody. Time to, okay. Miles, you secured Kull Obsidian and Black Swan, right? Yeah, yeah, like webbing him up. And Cull says, I can't help but feel a little responsible for this. Um, um, come here and

give your old buddy, Cull, a big old hug and I'll hold on to you. What? Me, is this a trap? You're going to give me like a big hug? and I'm trying to save you, you dork. Okay. I webb Mr. Druid and I pull him into B and then I pull myself into coal.

Okay. All right. So Tate and Thori are on the Wonder wagon. Simon is outside trying to slow it down. And Cole and Black Swan and Miles and Druid are all suspended in the middle of it. We're in a web-induced. turbo hug.

Obviously. The worst thing is at this moment, Miles is definitely like, I've been waiting to talk about this. Am I still the same me? Because we came across that teleporter and it breaks us down and I'm really worried that when it breaks it down, you technically die and the new version of you isn't alive. But that might get you into a

future afterlife after party. That's a, you know what? And it was awesome in there. When we do the sequel. Right. I'll, I cast I cast shield of the seraphim. Oh, hell yeah. Protecting us from damage. Okay.

And cutting through all the webs holding you in place. If it does more, less than 20, it absorbs it more than 20, it shatters. But we remain unharmed. Okay. I'm also going to make sure I tap mine and Mr. Jewett's spacesuits. Yeah, for sure. Thank you very much. So it's so cool of you.

Oh, this is bad, right? It'll be fine. We'll see you here in a second. I don't even have a girlfriend yet. Boom! You impact the inside of the bowl. Cracks start to form all around the sphere. And the impact shakes off Simon.

Simon goes tumbling. The Wonderwagon starts rolling, end over end, side over side. and the giant, the sphere inside the bowl spins around and around, you know, like one of those coin roll things. Yeah. You know, like one of those coin roll things. Yeah. Around and around.

The cracks split. Yeah, you are all alive? Physically. But there are large gaps in the sphere you were in. And you hear a sound. And it is the sound of something slicing through the sphere. You see a large reddish orange blade comes slicing through the sphere. And when that happens, the sphere more or less splits in two and falls to both sides, safely, not hurting anybody.

And the wielder of this blade gently alights right in the middle of you all. The turbo hug, call it what it is. In the middle of the turbo hug. She is an impressive-looking golden-haired teenager. in purple Asgardian battle armor. And she says, time out, time out, time out, time out. Hey, look, usually I dig the hell out of a good fight, but this one, there's no need. Your brother Corvus is alive and well, sort of.

I'll explain it. You don't have to worry about him. And then she turns to the babysitters. By this time, the people who were in the Wonder wagon have come out and have gathered in this spot. And Simon, you have two. And she turns with a grin that you all recognize. And she says, and you guys, you don't need to worry about me. Thori, do a vigilance check.

Yeah. I'm going to spend my last karma. 15. 15 works. You recognize the scent. It's Lausa Odin's daughter. My ears forgot. 19 years old.

And she says, look, to Cull Obsidian Blackshot. Full disclosure. My brother Thor did sort of kill Corvus. Complete accident. Something wonky was going on with Midgie. Anywho, he got better, which he does, you know. But he's with me in the future, 16 years from now. He's doing fine.

You can be okay with that. or, and she holds up her flaming sword, me and my babysitters here are going to kick your gruesome asses. Language! Simon leans in. Sorry. Simon leans in and says,

Did you try to pawn Corvus Glavesglave for date money? I'll explain. I'll explain in a minute. Cullen Black Swan say, say we're good. We're good. She turns to look at you guys and she's got this huge grin on her face. She said Don't you have any questions? You're older than me?

Yeah Wait, are we in the future or are you in the past? Good question. I'm in the past. Are we're also in the future though I can't stress this enough In the future we're there too, right? Well, yeah, kind of

Sort of. It's really complicated. You really want me to explain? No, no, no, no, no. No, no. We shouldn't know about our features. Give us the short version, kid. As to how I got here,

I had some help. Okay? Come on. Introduce yourself. And so a figure also flies down. Dad's cameras off and I think he's building. It's Hollywood. Yep, yep.

Thank God. It's Hollywood. He walks up to Simon and says, Hey there, me. Yep. Yep. How you doing? Doing good. Yep.

You look good. You look real good. I wish you looked better if I'm being honest. Like, Justin, I'm looking at the future is the problem. And like that's what I'm going to look like. Oh, no, no, no. I'm not from 16 years. I'm 100 years in the future.

Even then, my dude, I'm functionally immortal, man. And so, hey, can I tell you something? Hey, you and me over here. Yeah. We're made of ionic energy. So basically, we look like. whatever we want to. And this is what you're going with.

Do you question all day or six, Mopsi knows this way? You look kind of like a cyberpunk Santa Claus, and I'm just confused as to why you went with that. The jacket? The jacket's not at all what I'm commenting

on. There's so much more happening than the jacket. That George Jones music video, high tech redneck is where it's getting stuck for me. You look like if Michael McDonald got red-pilled. Lassa says Yeah

It looked like if Odin became a men's rights activist Hold on, wait, wait, time out Everyone do their joke about what dad looks like One at a time Kate You look like Kurt Russell in denial Oh, yeah Okay, good

Okay, Gabe You look like Agent Smith if there was a complete error in this code. Good? Okay. I think Justin's already done his. Yeah, the rest of us are good. You look like Neo's weird

Uncle Leo. So Lausa says, look, you guys, I'm a time traveler. Do it all the time. You look like Michael McDonald's uncle that pretends to work for the government. Okay, so yeah, I took the glave to the swap meet. I wasn't going to swap it. I just wanted to see, you know. And the big cat told me he had run into you about 16 years ago.

In the future. And I know you guys, and I know you probably ran into trouble. So I used my power and tar just up to the future. And I asked you, Simon, Hollywood about it. He remembered the dog bowl and all that whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. And now here we are. So, huggies! Ooh, don't touch me, Marty McCry.

Everybody except Simon. Roll for hug initiative What? Oh nice, okay Roll for hug initiative I have edge I have edge as well I'm just

Oh wow Let's see if I can get a fantastic hug Oh no Crap I hate this Oh Justin gets a fantastic Or Simon does Yes Simon gets a fantastic

Sebastian god Sebastian Okay All right Before we do that Hollywood turns to Simon and says, So, really, that's all you want to ask me is, you know, why I look so bad? There's nothing you want to know?

Nope. That's the, wait, actually, hold on. Hold on. Okay. Yeah. Did we ever get that script off the ground about, like, Napoleon in space? Did that happen? Because I, listen, I'm so close to it.

If I can figure out that third act, it's going to be amazing. Did that, did it get made? Wow. No, no, that did not. But it went through a complete rewrite. Yeah. And it became a travel documentary of you going through the jungles of Ecuador. That is a complete rewrite.

Like, was I blown apart in it? No, but you were almost blown apart in it. Oh, that's good. You turn into demonic energy. Yeah. And, yeah, but no. So, let's go back to the others. And so in order, Druid, you go running up to her to give her a big hug.

Yeah, a fantastic hug. And to be fair. She kind of cringes away from you. What's wrong? She says, I don't want anything to do with you. I'm, no, no. It just, just stay back on. Okay, just, just, and she seems really afraid of you.

Oh. What? What's wrong? Why are you, why are you afraid? What's going on? What happened the past 16 years? Look, just stay away from the book. Okay?

Just stay away the book. You promise me? The book, what book? Stay away in the book. And she turns to Kate. And she turns to Kate. And she says, Oh, I am so proud of you.

You are my hero. When you take over the, oh, crap. When I take over the... I can't, I can't Doc Brown that. Just never mind, but you are definitely my hero. Oh, cool. Great. And then she turns to Thori, and she says,

where's my awesome hell beast? Where's my awesome hell beast? Right here! And she scratches you under the chin and that spot that you really love. And then she turns to miles. Any strange portents for me? No, just know that I have missed you. Oh, I missed you so much.

Wait, why am I not there? And then she turns to Miles. And she turns to Miles and she says, and I have really missed you and a tear runs down her cheek that's kind of concerning so, Brena is it because I haven't to college

for 16 years? Let's go with that. Yeah. Masters? Did I also go to college? You might have, well, you might have your most might be the Rainbow Bridge story. We can talk about that when you're older.

Yeah, it depends on which rainbow bridge you're talking about. I'm so, I'm so glad. With that, you hear a sound. It's the horn on the WonderWagon. And it's playing the theme song from the Wonder Man animated series. Which I'm sure you all remember. Wonder, Wonder, Wonder, Wonder Man. We got sued.

We got sued really hard. Yeah, we got sued. 100%. Wonder Man. Friendship. Yeah, that one, that was for season two. And Lausus says, look, I'm, I gotta go. And there, it's Wonder Man.

Yeah, that one got us in a lot of trouble. Listen, I love you all. I love most of you. I used to love you all, but now I love most of you. And she shoots a glance at Sebastian. But you can agree. Okay, hold on. You're going to agree you love me most, right?

Because I'm the one you called when you needed help. I don't see any of them here. It sounds like you're just the only one that was a lot. live. Wait, is that it? Because I'll take that too, frankly. Like, that's not a lot. That's not an L. I mean, I'm sorry if you guys are dead in the future, but I'm not going to be upset that I'm still alive. You know what I mean?

Listen, I can't break the chronosynthastic infidipulum. I can't tell anything else. I just want you to know that you will always be my babysitters. And I'm just kind of tickled that I was able to come and. return the favor and and help you guys out. I would love you forever. And when you're a time traveler, that, that's really something. So thank you. Thank you all for saving me. At that point, Cullen, say, can we catch a ride? And she says, yeah. Yeah. Yes, sure. And she looks at you guys. She blows you a kiss

And she, along with Hollywood, after giving you a big high five, Simon. I think that would collapse. Yeah, maybe we almost high-five and then remember we're both made out of ionic energy and perhaps it is not a good idea for us to make physical contact. Good call.

You guys, high-five. Okay. There's a giant flash of ionic energy. We both disappear. We're dead. And that's where we stop. Yay. The cosmic high five

that destroyed your album. Babysitters. I just want to say a big thanks to Gabe and Kate for for playing with us. Where can people find more of your work? I'm sure they'll want to see more.

And who can blame them? You can find me pretty much anywhere at Gabe James Games. TikTok is a weird place. If you go there expecting quality, you went to the wrong place. It's just going to be weird fever dreams in the woods. But yeah, Twitter, Instagram,

Twitch, wherever. Gabe James games. For me, it's mostly just Instagram and maybe not even that someday because I rewatched the social dilemma last night but you can find me there at Kate Welch with four H's at the end. And is that four H's Kate?

That is four H's Justin, yes. To be fair, it sounds like you were just barely on Instagram Instagram to be getting. Trying to gatekeep as much as possible there. So is that Kate Welch? Yes, exactly. Tach, chit-cha. And thanks to you,

McElroy for this and all the help from the Marvel multiverse folks. Matt, Foreback, and big, and listen, I couldn't have done this without Amanda, our wonderful Amanda, who did really most of the work. Yeah, that's absolutely fair. Thank you. And Stanley. And Stanley. Clint, that was an incredible adventure. And y'all, this is a dream come true.

Thank you so much for having me. This is the only actual play. Oh, we're putting that on, Kate. This is the only actual play podcast I have ever listened to and enjoyed in its entirety. So, ever. Take that in your fucking pipe and smoking. Sorry, Cripp. I have to put this.

I have to be the other than to the spectrum. I cannot wait for the hate. This is all right. Beautiful game. That's poetry. It's your minder you can find game in the woods. Yep. Alone.

Yeah. You know what? I dare you. Come find me in the woods. Come find me. The adventure zone? It's all right. It's cool, I guess.

Come find me in the woods. But he has been working out. Don't find him in the woods. That's true. I've been working out for this moment. I want to be like, oh, Gabe, we heard what you said. Good. The way.

I'm here to crush a nerd. Is it the ultimate online argument inter? Like, come find me in the woods. If you disagree with this, come to the woods. Try to find me in the woods. Because here's the thing. Here's the thing. Either they make it back out of the woods or they don't.

Either way, I win. Dang. Powerful. That's beautiful. Wow. Powerful. So on that note, we end with Find Gabe in the woods

Come find Gabe in the woods. We're out. Maximum fun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned, audience supported.