The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone Providence: Episode 1

Episode Date: October 1, 2026

Someone in the small fishing village of Asta is planning . . . a dark ritual! Harumph! Not to worry, three minor gods are on the case: Spira, the god of bellows; Tintabula, the god of bells; and Minutiae, the god of marine chronometers. They definitely have skills that will come in handy for uncovering the town’s dark secrets. That is . . . if they can blend in with the mortalsWe're playing Super Normal from Ursidice: https://ursidice.com/supernormal/Original Music by Griffin McElroyAdditional Music in this Episode:  Stars" by Sabine Bloch x Fachhochschule Dortmund: https://sabinebloch.de/;  “Sad Piano Ambient” by Lite Saturation:https://litesaturation.com/; and "Creeping Scary Atmosphere for Night Scenes" by Alex Morgan: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/alex-morgan/.Center for Reproductive Rights: https://reproductiverights.org/ Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Welcome mortals to Taz Providence, an adventure of divine proportions. Ah? Is that anything? Proportion, do you think? Divine energy. I like divine proportions. Sounds like we're size queens. We're God thick in this one.

Yeah. And we're coming up on the Thanksgiving holidays. So divine proportions sounds great. I love divine portions. Big pies. Mm-hmm. Big means. You know, that's what I'm all about.

Big pie. thin meats. Big pies thin meats. We have thin meat. I don't actually love the energy this one's starting off with. It's a little randy if I'm being frank. If it's possible for us. Thin meets big Franks. Thick gods. We're going to be using super normal, which is a one-page game system created by Ursa Dice. U-R-S-I-D-C-E. If you want to follow along, you can go to ursa-dice.com slash supernormal for the PDF of it there, support them in any way that you can. It's a super fun game system. If you've heard our live show Just Us, where they played as superheroes trying to blend in with the world, then you've heard us use it before.

Was it the one at the company picnic? Yes, it was. Oh, yeah, God, yeah. I didn't hear that one. I'm going to be lost, right, Trev? Well, no, Justin, you were there. I know. It was like for the audience.

No, they don't. This is not a continuation of this. So this is a brand new, a brand new adventure. I iteration. No, well. God, I hate calling things adventures. It's such a big check. It's in the name of the fucking thing too, right?

I know, it's so tough. You can't just have a, like, here's a confection. You know what I mean? Yeah. You can be like, here's a simple twistery for you. Like, it's another bubble from McElroy's mind. It can't have ever been that. Let us begin.

actual play TTRP begins as all actual play TTRPGs begin with a god complex. Specifically, the god complex building at the center of the Providence Plain, which is home to those that the people of the mortal plane would refer to as the gods. These two planes overlap each other, but exist on two separate celestial wavelengths. The two planes have a symbiotic relationship with one another. You see, while the inanimate objects of the mortal plane lack free will, they are still. charged up with erratic random potential energy, which they are unable to disperse. If this weren't dealt with, all of these things would begin to pave so wildly that there is no way of telling what chaos would be unleashed.

Fortunately for the mortals, the beings of the Providence plane need this random potential energy to survive. Every inhabitant is synced with one or more type of object, draws on its energy, and filters it back as pure potential energy. In short, for every type of thing on the mortal plane, there is a god in the Providence plane connected to it. That said, not all these objects are created equally, which leads us back to the god complex, where the most charged up of the gods are gathered to discuss an issue of the utmost importance. The god of fire calls the meeting to order.

A symbol of the gods of the pantheon. We have had troubling reports from the mortal realm. someone is putting together a ritual a chorus of harumps erupts from the room if you guys could help me out with that Oh yes

yes we got I didn't get a roof out of that guy I harumpt it just wasn't very loud yes we gods all hate rituals but it's worse than that this ritual

is a dark ritual the gods the gods let out a simultaneous and terrified Haramph. Hurram! The god of Storm stands. Fire! Let me pop down there. I'll stop it in a flash.

The whole thing will be a breeze. Yes, excellent weather-based puns aside. The last time you left the Providence plane, storms were erratic within five minutes. Remember that tornado full of sharks? Yes, the tornadoes shark. Yes, of course I remember. I see that the god of both stone wheels and wooden wheels has raised his hand.

Uh, yeah, I'd volunteer to go, but I'm too tired. The room erupts into powerful laughter. Oh, ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, man. We like this. I tell myself, I'm not going to laugh when you make that joke again, but it's just so funny every time. But no. none of us will be going.

This investigation could take multiple days. So is there not a god of tires? What? Is he made out of tires like the Michelinian? Is there not a god of tires? No, he is. Like, it's a wooden wheel and still, like, is there a god of tires? Not yet.

Okay. Wow, that's crazy. So it's like a futuristic joke? Yeah. Cool, man. This is all in world. That didn't make sense to us. There's no such thing as tires yet.

A god of met a humor, sit down. It's just that wheels are a different thing than tires. Okay. Listen, we've heard it all before. But this investigation could take multiple days, and our connected objects are simply too important and too powerful to leave unfiltered for that long. But worry not, for I have assembled three of the Providence Plains

most non-essential gods for this task. God of doors, send them in. And the God of doors throws open the doors and enter in our three gods. Players, please introduce yourself. Let's start with Griffin. Walking into the chamber is a tall, lanky man with just muscles abound, aged, I will say, older than a lot of the other gods here and has had some work done, I'll say aesthetically,

unnaturally long, blonde hair that's just constantly sort of flowing. in the breeze. And with every step, I sort of bounce, I contract, my body shrinks and expands. I am Spira, the God of Bellows. I don't know if we get names. That was just like a name I picked. Maybe up here we just rock with like, hey, I'm the Bellows one. Yeah, God of Bellows here. At work. Here. At work, they don't know my actual name. Is that what you're suggesting? No, but you go by your title at work, you know. That's crazy. I mean, you hear that's crazy, right? We don't talk to each other like that. Trevor, are you second guessing it as you're saying it?

Yeah, 100%. Because I was trying to find examples of jobs that do that in my head. The president is the only one really. And even then people aren't like, hey president. Yeah. Hey president. It would be so wild, Tram. That's not even Griffith.

So he's like, hey, president of America. Come here. Spira, God of Belize. The tapest, and the tapestry shifts before our very eyes. This is the power of actual play. Yep. Oh, Bella, you don't see those that often anymore. Yes, I suppose, with the rise of magic,

people have other ways of getting their fires stoked and going, but, you know, some people prefer it. Some people like the old stuff. Yeah. Timbers the blade better I feel. You can keep it real steady with a, a, of a... strong application of wind forced through a narrow channel. Sure. Yeah, I've always said that.

Yeah, definitely. And who follows, Dan, who follows Spira? In walks a tiny, shriveled elderly lady. She's kind of hunched over, walks with a cane,

comes in, squints through, her glasses. She's got these very thick glasses and says, Hello? You all know me. I'm

Tintabula. Yeah, got a bell. How you doing? Doing. Is this going to take a while? Yes, it could be a few days. Can I have a chair at least? Can I sit? Oh yeah, not the meeting. The meeting won't take a few days.

Yeah, still though. A chair. would be so nice. Sure. God of chairs. Yeah, I'm on it. He gets a chair. He doesn't create the chairs. He just moves to?

Yeah, he's just in charge of him. Oh, Chesterfield. Thank you. Oh, I'm sorry. God of Chairs. Thank you. Anything for you, Tadabula? God of Bells. To the, hey, Travis, it just physical objects?

It is tangible, non-scient objects. So like there's a god of plants, there's a god of storms, there's a god, you know, of books, right? This kind of thing. And our third god enters the room, Justin, who do we see? He's tall and thin, messy hair, kind of like he hasn't really messed with it much lately. Like he's not, he didn't get out much. blonde, very bright, light, blonde hair and sort of streaked up glasses.

And he said, I'm, hello, I'm Minnusha. My name is Minnisha. I don't really get out of the shop very much. Hello, I'm Minnuchia. I'm the god of the marine chronometer. The what? I'm the god of the marine chronometer. I'm getting the marine coronometer. The marine chronometer. I don't know what that is. Oh, guys, you had to do this every time.

I hate coming up here. Of the marine chronometer, you know. Okay, fine. Humans have always had it easy detecting where they are in latitude because that is decided on by the equator, but longitude is arbitrary, so they needed a way to tell longitude. Many thousands of human lives were lost

because they were unable to tell longitude, and over the course of 40 years, a carpenter, self-taught clockmaker named John Harrison, and I worked very hard to create the marine chronometer, which is an incredibly accurate clock that allows people at sea to tell their precise longitude, by keeping extremely accurate time that they then compare with the time it was set to when they left. And that allows them to...

Every time you guys made me do this. The Marine Chronometer, it saved lots of lives, it reinvented the way people navigate. And now I know some people haven't been in their watches, but at first it was really big, and it took us a really long time to do. Okay. That, yeah. That really, I feel. like ate up all the energy in the room. That felt like time traveled to me.

I didn't want to come up. I don't like to come up here. I mean, it, honey, listen, I'm sure your mother's very proud. I thought that was very well put. Okay, if we could get back on track, ironically, time is of the essence here. Um, you three, oh, three of our most trusted gods. Oh, you three have been specially. selected for this mission.

Oh, yes, and we all trust. You've got to stop groaning. Why, it sounds facetious, the amount of groaning that you're doing. It feels honestly conditioning. No, this is my sincere groan. Oh. It feels to me like you don't really have a great reason for why the three of us were chosen. And so in lieu of that explanation, we're just getting a lot of Tim Allen-esque sort of home

improvement stinger-ass grunts. Because of your special skills? Oh? Yeah? Listen, in the mortal plane, someone is putting together a dark ritual. Oh, God, that's hate those. Oh, I know.

Oh, tell me about it. Harumph, hurw, harum, harum, harumph. And according to the god of scouting reports, this ritual, we're calling the anti-god. The reports are that this ritual would sever the connection between the gods of the Providence Plain

and the objects of the mortal plane, which obviously would be disastrous for both. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Because then those things would just be things. Well, no, then they would behave in unpredictable and erratic ways outside of the small scope that we expect these objects to to act. Adarchy!

We can't have that. And we would also starve to death. That is obviously the bigger concern. Yes. I, but I, it is a nightmare, truly, to think of what the world would be like without functional marine chronometers. Mm-hmm. Was that it?

Yes. And be very... I mean, it would be very... I know you're trying to hurt my feelings, but it would be very... very bad. Sailors rolling up to shore like, is it 638? And they're like, no, man, it's 615. Ah, can you imagine?

It's the placement. See, they'll run into the shore because they don't know what time it is. It's a map that's a clock. It's a very good clock. It's, yes, yes, it's a very good, it's just a very good clock, but I do need to watch over them. I can't, I have to watch them, so I can't. So do you have jurisdiction over any other clocks, or is it just boat clocks?

there are different clocks on boats to tell the time. This is just to tell where you are. So you're not even the god of all boat clocks. You're a god of a specific type of clock for boats. It's not a clock. It's a chronometer. It measures time. We are loving the rapport, but like, remember the starvation thing and, like, the stuff acting around it.

Yeah, but I can't go. Somebody's got to watch chronometers. Yeah, we got the god of clocks to do that for you. Jared! Yeah, Jared said he'd take care of it. Who have you got on bellows just for my own edification? That one we kind of determined would be okay. That's ridiculous.

That's ridiculous. Bellows are going to be going down there making forge fires go all crazy, and accordion players are going to be like, what the hell? And then you're going to really regret things. You think it's just a couple of stiff boards with a span of leather going between them, making an airtight chamber with a nozzle. No way, dude, there's a, there's a, there's a valve also. Oh, we didn't, we didn't know, valves.

Yeah, a lot of people forget about the valves. Oh, boy. When John and I, when John and I started working on the Marine Corps and Armour, do you know what Jared's best clock was? Do you know what Jared's best clock with the pendulums in? Oh, I love that one. I love the grandfather clock. They lose minutes a week.

They lose minutes a week. I collabed on that with him. Yeah, the bells, yeah. Yeah, we worked together pretty closely. God, he was good-looking. We have pinpointed the area, the village where this ritual is being planned, but we do not know who is at the heart of it. We don't know where or when exactly it will happen.

But we need you to gather all that information and then report back to us. and let us know so that we can send in a second specialized team to stop it specifically. What? Is there a god of A. Travis,

there a god of easily detectable sarcasm by chance or no? Listen, there's always an opening. Maybe you could move into it. You could be the god of marine coronometers and detectable sarcasm. So we are giving you each one of these golden candles.

Very important when you have figured out the who what and when, or who wear and win of this ritual, like these three candles, and we're on it when the time comes. You know what I mean? Don't lose these candles. Are they lit? So we have to light them to let you know that we're ready to, okay. Yes, but don't lose them.

This will be your only means of direct communication with the Providence Plain. All right. Why? Can I ask why? It just feels like... They can swoop down and take all the glory. Well, no. I mean, of course that's going to happen.

But like, why can't we contact you through any other method? It feels like that would be... This is the other thing. You need to keep as low a profile as possible while you're in the mortal plane. Mortals, they're not aware that the gods they pray to actually exist. And we need to keep it that way. or things could get, who messy? Who messy?

I gotta see John. I gotta stop by and see John. Oh, the man who invented the modern crime? The Marine Chronometer, yeah. Is he still around? No, I'm sorry, that won't be possible. We're going to need you to investigate this specific village. Okay, yeah.

But surely we can pop over if there's time. I see John. I got some buds from my last. I guarantee. My last jaunt, the plain side. I made a few buddies myself. I wouldn't mind stop it in to have a beverage. Hey, there's not a plague going right now, is there?

No, no, no, no, no. The god of place is like, I'm on a break. Great. I don't like. Speaking of that, is this a 9 to 5 job, or do we, you know, it's not 24 hours a day. Surely we have downtime. I mean, you'll be able to sleep and eat and stuff,

but like this, We don't know when this is going to happen. It could be any minute. So we have to sleep and eat. So what kind of gods are we that we have to eat and sleep? That's a crazy thing this asked mid-conversation. It's like so existential death. Do you think she really asked that?

That's wild. Yeah. And I can't stress enough. You're not gods as we understand them. Just gods in comparison to the mortal plane. Gotcha. Right. So do we get a stip?

a per diem, because we're going to be down there for a while. We'll need food and lodging. I'm on a fixed income. Yeah, I'm going to give it to the one who keeps track of things. Manusian. Here's the money. He hands you a sack of points. Got it.

You know, be responsible. Sure. Yeah. Wow, there's a lot of paper here. Dang. I really struggle with that. the money. Uh, you know what? I will figure it out. It's all numbers, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Is this a 20? Nice. Okay. Oh, man. We are in dealing with confidence. What was? This is good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's fine. Just hold the bag of money. It's, I just, I'm not good with money. I'm more of a time. Time guy. But it's, but it'll be fine. It'll be fine. It's fine. It's fine. You know what they say, honey, time is money. Okay. Well, speaking of, it is four. Okay. It is four. It is four. It's fine. It is four. It's 17 and I, the god of fire, have a standing appointment with the god of herbs. It's for, sorry, it's for 16 and 30 seconds. Oh, okay. Well, then I have 30 more seconds to say, I got to go meet the god of herbs. So if you'll excuse me, you all get on your way.

Thank you very much. And as you're ushered out, he whispers to the god of storms. We should maybe get like a second team put together just in case. Did that figure out? Yeah. Yeah, I agree. Did we hear that? There's a god of herbs and a god of herbs?

There's a god of herbs, herbs, herbs, and spices. And speaces. And speaces and peaches. The three of you awake on a boat. There's not like a hole we have to jump in? That's all happened off screen. This is the beauty of theater of them on. Yeah, you'd love to see a jumping in the hole.

Yeah, you jump in a hole. Cool. And then you fall in a boat, and then you fall asleep on the boat, And now you've woken up on the boat. In the middle of the voyage, you're inside a cabin on the boat. There's a crudely written sign on the wall that says, Coral Undersea Club VIP members only lounge. And you see there's some stale popcorn and bowls on the table

and some room temperature bottles of cider there. I mean, at least we got a little bit of special treatment. And this boat is a rocking and a rolling. I put the popcorn in my mouth and swallow it immediately. It is dry. I forget that chewing, I forget that that's like a... Yeah, give me... It's going to take me a minute to practice.

Are you... Griffin, this is going to be our first role. Are you... The three options are blending in, showing off, or be super. I mean, there's no one else here, right? That's true. It's just the three of us. Yeah, I'll just be super and I'll, like, try and, like... Inhaling is one of my powers.

I'm just going to inhale this whole bowl of popcorn. Okay, great, yeah. Roll 1D6. Okay. That is a two. Okay, yeah, the action works as intended. You inhale a bowl of popcorn. What was the cider? I put that in the room temperature bottle.

Just shake my head around real fast to try and like gush it up. Oh, no. Okay, and you hear a loud thumping coming from the, you know, the deck above you, like rhythmic foot stomping. Is there a window in that? Can we see out the window? Are we nearing our destination? There are some portholes.

You can see like the edge of the land off to your left, but you're kind of sailing parallel to it. It is late at night. I would say about like, maybe not that, like 10.30 p.m., some of us go to bed early, you know, to get our kids up for school. But it is definitely in the nighttime. defensive. Yeah.

All right, so remember, once we land ashore, no, no powers, the popcorn inhaling, that was reflexive more than anything. There is more chewing. There's more mouth movement involved. So you guys know how to, like, pretend to be human before, right? You've done this? I haven't. I was more sort of watching over John, and whenever he would do stuff.

like, you know, talk to wife or bathroom, I would just kind of do my own thing. But those are the two most important factors of the human experience. Oh, yeah? I've never really, it always seemed kind of weird to hang around for that. Well, yeah, I mean, the bathroom thing, but talk to wife, talk to people, go to bathroom. Yeah, I'll be honest, when I go in there, I just sit on the white hard chair that's in there for like five minutes. And then I come out and I don't do anything else. I'm pretty worried I'll mess it up.

They love that chair. They love that chair so, so much. I'll say this. If there's a god of those chairs, I bet he is an STU D stud. I've been cooking up this idea where when you're done using the chair, whatever the hell that means, I'm saying you put a bellows up there when you're done and it can dry you down. What if you pulled it the wrong way, though, and it sucked him inside out?

Yeah, no, that's a concern, I guess. You think of everything. Could you connect a bell to it so the next person knows the chair's available? We may be on to something. The fates have brought us together to this one spot. Why you're on there just to kind of wonder at it. Oh, yes. You can put the chronometer in front of it.

You can kind of look at it. This is the way the sham wow guy started. Ahoy down there. Ahoy down there. Do I hear you all talking? Come on up and see the beautiful... Hold on, we're inventing a new cool toilet. Oh, okay. Yeah, take your time then. So we got the bell...

The belled be the chronometer thing. I feel like we pretty much cracked it. Yeah. Okay. Okay, never mind, we're good. TM, TM. Come on up. Come up on the deck and see, oh, the beautiful night.

Oh. Wow. It's dark. As you enter onto the deck, you see a grizzled old sailor man with a wiry beard, just steering away at the ship, stomping his foot to a rhythm only he could hear. Sorry, just steering away? Just steering away. Just steering away?

Yep. Okay. It looks like one of my kids playing cruising USA at the arcade. Just left turn. Oh, do any of you want to turn at this decorative leaf? that's not attached to anything. Oh, it's decorative. I was going to say it.

That's probably why the ship is a rock and a roll in so close to shore. You are kind of doing your... No. Hitting the whip. This is just for fun. The course is set up in the bridge. Yeah. I be old Hayward, by the way.

What are you the god of, hon? What? Is there a new Hayward we can maybe talk to? No, that's my name. Old Hayward. Oh, first name old, last name Hayward. I was born old, I like to say. We are three casual humans coming for a brief vacation together.

Yes, of course. Oh, welcome. Welcome to the... Soon you'll be in the village of Oster. Oster, okay, that was... I was going to ask actually what it was called. But then I thought, is it weird? Like, why would we be traveling to a place?

on vacation and we don't know what the name of it is. Right. Yeah. Free spirits. This may be a non-secutor, but let me ask you all some. You ever been in love? So, I love bellows. That's good.

Oh, man after my own heart. Oh, you like bellows as well? No, but my love. Oh. It'd be a difficult situation. To love a thing, oh, that she can't know the mind of. I'm guessing to see just for you, and I don't want to be, like, reduction. No, I'm not like one of those nasty boys.

Okay, great. I love my boat, Dolores. Oh, if I could marry Dolores, but of course, she be a boat. Unable to take the vows of marriage. What if I were to tell you there was a way for your... boat to be a person as well. Uh-oh. That witchcraft?

No, I just, no, never mind. I forgot sort of, nah, I'm just Josh and wouldn't that be crazy, though, if there was like a boat's person? You be cruel, you be. So how long are we going to have to wait before we arrive? 45 minutes. Jesus.

The three of you also get a creeping sensation on the back of your neck, like you being launched. All three of you roll a D20. We'll see who notices that. This is just for incidentals. Ten.

Ten as well. 13. Okay, yeah. So, Manusia, you spot the feeling you see three pairs of beady black eyes on stalks peaking over the railing of the bridge above you, staring down at you. Staring down at us? Yep. That's not very good shipping. ship, ship driving.

I just feel like they should have their eyes on the road. Hey, what's the story with those? Oh, those being Michelle babies. Oh! And they skitter a little closer to the edge, and you can see it's three lobsters looking down at you. Yes, those are my babies. Which one is Michelle?

Those are Athos, Porthos, and Tyler. Don't pay, don't let Tyler's puppy. Dog Eyes fool you. He's a wild card. Okay. So I don't know if you're even, is there a different guy on the boat than this guy? How many other guys on the boat are there? I would love to get some briefing on like cult activity, but this stranger has just introduced us to his lobster kids. So I don't know if he's going to have any. I'm not talking to you. Okay. I don't think he's going to have anything for us. The ship isn't large. The cabin you were in was the only,

cabin there. That sucks that they call it the VIP cabin if there's only one. He's trying to create an experience for club members. Okay. Great. You don't want them to have an experience?

You don't want an experience for club members? I guess I do love... Can I try something? Can I try something old? Yes. I have to... Your kids are adorable. Thank you so much.

Adorable. Thank you. Do you have a favorite? Oh, you can't pick a favorite. It's Tyler. Don't tell Athos and Porthos. No, listen, the hardest struggle is acting like you love them all the same. But it's always your middle child.

You know, that really captures your heart, a wild card. Do they do any tricks? Yes, they steer the ship. They do. Yes, they handle the navigation, the communication. since they stare have them whittled trained. How do they know their longitude? Well, they use the marine chronometer, of course.

Holy what are the odds. I apologize. I thought that was BS. Here we are. That's good. Five minutes into the adventure. And we already ran it on. Oh, we would be dead without that marine chronometer.

It's a new thing that has just gotten brought to the village of Asta by one of our newest residents, the Martel's. Yeah. So, uh, we're before this, were you guys using, uh, learner charts? Oh, yeah. And it was tough for a cloudy night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, a man of the sea. Yeah, well, um, I am a man. Yeah, that's right. Just like you. Just like me. A nonchalant normal man. Casual men on the casual people, humans, just poor on vacation.

Humans on a boat. So the martels, you sort of said their name in italics. So I would love to know more about sort of what they... Oh, well, it's been a while since we've had any new residents in the village of Osta. And the Martel's came, brought their whole family. He's, oh, an artificer. Have you heard about this? Artifers.

What do they do? They're like magical inventors. They make magical things. Do you know about magic? Yeah, we know about magic. I don't believe in it. I didn't either until the martels came. What do they do?

What kind of stuff? They're okay. You know, it's weird when new people come to a village where it's been the same residence for like 25, 30 years. But then the martel's coming and you're like, oh, I don't know them. This is weird. This is going to throw off all of our regular schedules and stuff. Oh, they're weird and different. But then they're like, oh, check out some of these new magical inventions.

You know, and you're like, oh, that's okay, you know. But then they don't like join like the quilting club or anything like that, you know. And you're like, oh, maybe they're standoffish. But they're okay, you know. Are they rich? They sell rich. Oh, so rich. Okay.

You've honestly, actually, I must apologize, given us a lot to go off of. I do appreciate it. Who's in the family? There are the people in it. Oh, there's callie. He's the, you know, the dad, the husband. Sorry, one more time on that. Collie?

Collie. Like a, like a crow? You know, call. Collie. Collie. And then Rachel? Like, Sun Ray? Rachel.

Well, I know about Rachel. Rachel. Yeah, that's a great name. Yeah? And then there are two kids. Sturge and Dolly. Are they crows? No, they're twins.

Sturge. They all sound like they're making sort of crow sounds, except Rachel. Rachel, if you say it like that. I guess I've never heard a crow make a re-s. Oh, they can learn to talk. All right. Where's that ravens? Ravens.

You've got lobster kids. So like every third word out of your mouth, I'm like, that's not. I'm also a lacrosse coach. All right. I have layers. Okay, I think that we can ask you this question without having many repercussions for the asking of it. And it's, do you know anything? And I guess this is for your lobster kids, too, because maybe they've explored the deep crevices of the sea,

any sort of dark ritual activity anywhere here in Austin. The only rituals I know about her, the chapel? They're on the top of Chapel Hill, which, okay, is pretty easy to fight. You know, the name's right there. But I'm assuming they're doing sort of the standard rituals, your communions and... Oh, I'm not much of a chapel man myself

since they frown on man-boat marriage, but... Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you could talk to Benjamin and Patricia, the Keans. He's the clergyman. Benjamin's the clergyman, and Patricia handles the upkeep for the chapel. They might know about rituals.

Okay, thank you. That's actually good also. You arrive finally at the docks. As you pull up, you see a man in what is easily identifiable as an out-of-date kind of suit, but still very well-tailored, very clean, and he's standing there, you know, hands on his lapels in a very like politician greeting new people kind of way. I'm still on the boat. I'm not talking to the Marine Chronometer. Hey, listen, you got to tell the other guys, like, Jared is going to, he's going to talk a bunch of shit, and you just got to remember he's inaccurate.

He lacks my precision. And you, you all stick to what you know works. Roll a D6 for me, Justin, as you are doing something super by talking to your Marine Chronometer friend. I rolled a three. Oh, the action works just as intended. The Marine Chronometer ticks in a precise way that makes you. you think like hurt chef? 538 hell yeah well it's the evening so like 1038

1038 hell yeah see it might have been 538 when we departed and then we're comparing the time when we departed to the time currently in our current location then we compare those two times and that lets us figure out our launch so basically the village of asta exists on a triangular shaped island that is flanked on two sides by a river that splits and flows around it. And the third side is on the ocean. So the river splits, flows around it into the ocean.

Like kind of a delta thing, but much more island, you know, you can build on it and it's a solid. It's explicitly a delta. I mean, it's explicitly like you say it is whatever it is. It's a delta. Looks like a shark's tooth. Sure, in that it's a triangle. Yeah.

Looks like a Dorito. to me, Dad. If you blur your eyes, you can see the textured ridges of a Dorito shape. Justin, what's it like to you? Justin, what do you see in the triangle? I haven't opened yet. Where is it? Okay.

And the river looks like dip. I think you're right. Oh, look at that. Looks like a Dorido. Looks like a Dorado. And like ranch dip. One side of the river, one side of the island on the river is rocky cliffs that are unapproachable.

The far side that faces the ocean is the sandy beach. And the side that you're approaching from, there is a small jutting out point of the island near one of the corners with the docks built into it that you have pulled up to. One thing about that far sight, it is always funny. Every day. Every single time. The cows fucking forget about it, dude. All right. Can we stroll up to this envoy, this greeter that seems to be here waiting?

Yes. As you approach the greeter, you see him chewing away a lobster on the dock in kind of a frustrated, angry way, and then he turns back to you and he's back to beaming and ready for your approach. Sorry, he's chewing. He's chewing. He's chewing. Shoe, chew. Oh, okay. I thought you said, like, he was eating, like, frustratedly eating a lobster right before we got there, which I would be like, that's rude. No, and that's also a much different action. Yeah, yeah, sure. Okay.

Oh, greeting. Greetings. Hello. Hi. Hello, my name is Warren Dale, the village alderman. Uh, greetings, Warren. I'm Spira. Speira, pleasure.

Welcome to Oster Village. Just one second. Guys, we can use our real names. It's cool. I was timid, but he liked it. Oh, all right. Hi, Tintabula. Teng, good to me.

Oh, absolute pleasure. Welcome to Ossud. Oster Village. Yes, and your name again? Warren Dale, Village Alderman. Warren. Hey, Warren, I'm, um, Manisha, you might know John. Uh, I don't know a John.

Yeah, he admitted them. Well, this is a slow village. Oh, okay, well, I figured you knew him, but I, like, we're friends, so. That's the only person I know. No, I'll keep an ear out, though, but I know everybody here in the village of Oster. What brings you three to our quaint little town? We hadn't thought of a ruse ahead of time. We are casual humans on a vacation of sorts, and we all can't get enough of e-of-chewing and swallowing shellfish.

Oh, then you have come to the right place because this is a lobster town. Yeah, that's, I know. Is that a town where lobsters are the inhabitants? Or a town where you just serve a lot of lobster? Yes. It began as a fishing village, catching the abundance of lobsters in the ocean. But then there were so many of them that we couldn't eat them all in a timely manner, and they ended up becoming something of an invasive species here on the island.

So there's many lobsters running around, but we have been able to domesticate quite a few. I know old Hayward has three prime boys working on his boat. You see the three lobsters kind of waving their claws in the air at Warren. It makes a little more sense. Not a lot. Some of the words you said, like, they have cleared up some confusion for me. Can I try to subtly blow a breeze to wrestle his road? or whatever he's wearing

to just make sure he's not a bunch of lobsters stacked up pretending to be a man. Like, I feel like if so, this could be a major break in the case. I hate people guess the twist in the first episode. Yeah, I'm going to have to rewrite the whole thing. I'm going to call this showing off because you don't want him to know you're using your powers,

but you are using your powers to do it. So roll two D-6s for me. True thing. That is an 11. Who boy. Okay. Okay, so here's how super normal works. You roll a number of D6s depending on if you're trying to be super show off or blend in.

And if you get a one through five, then the action works is intended. If you get a 6-0-11, there is a super glitch. And if you get a 12 through 18, it is supercharged beyond your control, which means there are two super glitches. So this is just one super glitches. Yeah, so roll another 1D6 for me. Okay. That is a one.

One, you perform the action with an unexpected level of force. Can I just blow all his clothes off? You blow all his clothes off. Is he lobsters? He is not lobsters. But he is naked. He's a man in his underwear. Whoa, what happened?

Oh, um, this is an embarrassment. It might, oh, no arreasters are blowing in. Blew my clothes right off me. You know, I've seen this sort of thing before Teddy lost his jacket once in a storm. Okay. Well, that is great. That is wild. We'll have to keep an eye out for these stiff breezes.

Do you have a- Hey, can I ask a question about the... Wait, before we just charge a head. Can I just ask a question about the jacket real quick? Yeah. Did he tell Seth? Tell Seth? you don't know

he's a a guy I know who cares a lot about jackets um no I don't know a Seth but his love of jackets I will note that down and if we ever need I'm sorry

he doesn't just love jackets it's like literally all he talks about and Teddy would be oh Teddy runs the major store here in town I see what is that made

what is that made What does that major store sell? I mean, is it like a department store? Well, it sells a little bit of everything. It's not quite a general store yet. We're hoping in time we'll be able to expand. For now, we're just happy with our major store. A major store.

I thought that would land harder. Yeah. Because like major is just before general. Oh, it's, uh, okay. That's good, actually. You get, okay. Thank you. I was very pleased with that.

Good humor. Thank you. I didn't get, I didn't, I didn't, I did not understand it. if I had of, I probably would have laughed at it. Thank you. I didn't understand it. So I'm not smart enough for it. Can I, this guy's just kind of almost nude.

And he's very casually telling us about, can I try to inhale his clothes back on to him? Sure you can. Roll 2D6s for me. I'm just, for every action, there's an equal opposite reaction. Yeah, listen, as a bellows, you don't. That's a three. That's a one and a two.

It works exactly as intended. There you go. See, these wins. The weather's always changing here on Austin Village. The beauty of being flanked by a river and the ocean. You never know what's... Oh, they're on backwards. How did that?

And they're buttoned. Huh. Kind of a cool, kind of a cool look, I think. Yeah? That actually is, a trend setter. Oh, I don't want to set trends. Here in the village of Austin, we pride ourselves on being, you know, behind the times, as one might say. We do things in a much more traditional manner.

We like things the way they are. We're not wild about change or trends or anything like that. No. You like your fires stoked the normal way and kept roaring. Yes, with the bellows. Oh, a good, reliable, just mundane bellows. None of that magic nonsense. And everybody goes to church when they hear the church bill chime.

Well, not everybody. Old Haywards is kind of protesting right now because of the man-boat marriage kind of thing. But yes, everybody that we hear the bells ring on a Sunday morning. We head to church. Well, normally we would have headed to church. There was a big storm here last night, and the pathway up to the church is currently washed out. A lot of mud, a lot of rocks.

So we're working on cleaning that up. It would be at least a day before we're able to get that pathway clear. But when it is clear, you should definitely check out some of our most beautiful architecture in town. Can you tell us where the Martel family lives? I want to go sit, meet him. Oh, the Martels. Yes, the Martels, they have settled in new construction by the beach at the end of the path here. But it is getting quite late.

And might I recommend, before you go gallivanting around, there are some bands of wild lobsters around, and they can get pretty pinchy and bold at night. you should maybe go check in at our beautiful end, the little shellfish inn, get yourselves a room, a comfortable bed, maybe some bisque. Sorry, why do we need that? Because it's almost 11 p.m. and, you know, I assume you're tired and hungry. Oh, yes. Sorry, as humans, we... It's 1054 in 50 seconds.

Yes. Yes, it is 1054, and I assume you're tired and hungry after your journey here? As humans, we get, that's the way we humans are. We get tired and we get hungry. Yeah, look at me, I'm actually, yep, winding down now, and minutia just starts to lay on the ground. I'm running out of human power. Oh, dang it. I better get to a bad guys.

Guess we didn't eat enough food today. Yeah. So now we have to lie down for. eight hours. Might I... Yes. Well, the inn would be much more comfortable for that. They have beds to sleep.

Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. How many human of these will we need? I take out the money. You'll be able to settle up with Ruth. Ruth Flynn, keeper of the little shellfish inn. If you don't know, just say. Come on, guys, let's go. Okay, well, I'm sure I'll see you around town.

If you need help with anything, let me know. He was nice. I liked him. He was nice. Did you see those abs? He's been working out. Yeah, I did. I mean, it's hard not to notice him.

Trave, what's the vibe in this town? What's the energy of the populace? I know it's late. It's winding down. Are people, what's the energy? All three of you roll a D20. I'll let you know. 18.

Shit. Two. 20. Oh, damn. Okay, yeah. So Spira, the streets are quiet. You know, there's like oil lamps that light the streets. They're not casting the biggest, you know, glow around,

but it's enough to kind of see around by everything is, as Alderman Dale described it, much more, I don't want to say archaic, but behind the times than you would see in a normal village in the mortal world. Behind the times from a magical sense, right? Not a technological sort of advancement. This is much more like what you would have expected to see before kind of the magic technological boom that has happened. But you, Manusia, occasionally see like a curtain close very quickly, maybe hear a lock turn here and theirs. You walk by a house.

Okay. And you make your way to the little shellfish in. Where everybody only cares about themselves. Hi. Does anyone here? Hello? Hi. Hi.

We're looking for a room. A lady pops up from behind the counter. A ruddy cheat. You would guess in like her 50s, you know, apron. Classic innkeeper kind of look. Classic. Yeah, sure.

Can't be the classic innkeeper, man. Hello. My friends and I would like a place. Ah, you'll be needing a bed for the night. Will it be one bed for the three of you? Or one bed each? We don't. Well, what do you recommend?

Well, not knowing your relationship status. What's more popular? One bed each is normally the way to go for three friends. You guys think one bed each for everybody? How much more? of this pointing at the bag of money, how much more of this would it be for three

times of the number of beds? It would be three times the price? Tell you what, I'm going to give you this, and I hand the bag of money. You hand me back however much you don't need for this. That seems fair. Let's see. Okay, will you be having the Bisk?

To eat? Give us a second. For dinner? Give us a second, please. Give us a second. I don't know what Bisk is. and guys I'm freaking out a little bit I've been asking a lot about what a lot of human stuff is and I feel like they're catching on to me It's getting suspicious

Yeah Tintin Tintan Tintan Tadabia can you try Just talk about Bisk Yeah But do it in a way where it's like You're saying that you also love Bisk But be like what's some of your favorite stuff about Bisk To make sure

This is my friend Tintin Tabia She's a Bisk idiot I mean for BIS she loves it Crazy about Crazy about the Bisk Oh yeah Crazy about the Bisk How do you make yours?

How do you create your bis? Lobster and cream and you know you boil it, simmering over a heat for a while. That can't be fun for the lobster. Yes, does the lobster die? No. No, the lobster is dead, but they were all some of the reprobate lobsters. Not like my dear little Ed.

Ed Sorry, does she have a lobster companion as well? You see a basket sitting on the counter that is plushly lined and you see a little lobster smaller than the ones you saw

on Dolores the boat but this one, you can tell, it's very feisty. That's Little Ed. So if they have a name, if a lobster has a name, then it's a pet or an associate. Yes, like a rabbit or a chicken.

Yes, if it's unnamed, if it's unnamed, it gets thrown in a boiling pot of water. Correct. Wow, that sounds like that'd be something easy to avoid. But, so then how do you use your bisque after you've prepared it? What do you? Usually with a spoon? That doesn't seem as good as the last one. Say something else, quick.

And then How does it look? No, this is good, this is good. Well, I've never had complaints about the Bisk here. Everyone says it's delicious. Delicious. It's food. It's food.

It's food. Food, food. Of course it's food. Bowl me. Goal all of us. The three of us are going bowling. Oh, excellent. Okay.

serving of Bisk and Little Ed will take your bags to your room? Wow. I'm sorry, the lobster. Because we don't want to eat that in front of Little Ed, right? Oh, he's fine. He understands the difference between food and friend. So does he... Sorry, the lobster will carry our bags.

Yes. As far as I know, all we have is this bag of money. And, oh, wait, we have three candles, too. But we can, I think, take care of those. Do you want Little Ed to take your candles to your room? No. No, no, no, no. I don't trust little lead, but these are special candles, Ruth.

That sounds weird. Don't say stuff like that. He is so cute. Oh, don't get your fingers too close. He's a pinchy one. Does he speak? No, he's a lobster. Well, I know.

I was joking. Okay. You people that are awesome really need to work on your sense of humor. Okay, here's three bowls of bisque you enjoy. We'll get your rooms ready. Oh! Oh! Okay, you're going to have to roll to inhale the bis.

Roll to inhale your bisk. How many dice? I'm going to say at this point, since Ruth is there. Yeah. This is going to be a showing off. Okay. So two? Yes.

That's a nine? Oh, a nine. That's a super glitch, Griffin. Great. First of all, you also need to mark experience for blowing on someone's close. So the next time you try to do that, you'll have advantage. Blowing on clothes and inhaling food. Yes. Inhaling food or just soup? I'm going to say inhaling bisque. It'll come up again.

Inhaling bisque. Okay, great. And so next time I... Even more specific than inhaling soup. I basically get advantage on my roll on those... Correct. But you are going to need to roll another D6 now to determine the super glitch. Okay, great. That is a six. A six. You unintention intentionally activate one or more of your powers. Okay. So along with... I mean, it would be blowing, right? Yeah.

If I inhaled the soup and it's too hot, I think I immediately blast it off. You immediately blast it off. That's true. And I'm going to say you hit minutia and tentabula in the exhale. Oh, what's the matter? You don't like the soup? You don't like the bis? Excuse me.

It hurt my mouth. Oh, yes, it's hot. It's straight out of the pot. You gotta let it cool. Okay. I guess I forgot. Put ice on it. Put ice on.

Do you have ice? Oh, no. Just, uh, you don't have ice? It's not the right time of here for ice. You're right. Sorry. Some wet.

It's full. It's 11. 13 p.m. That's not ice time. On March, March 23rd. What? here, Justin, commit. Well, I don't want to just Travis is

1996. That's right. We're doing a village twist. It's all been modern times the whole time. You want some what? I can get you some lobster cider, lobster ale, lobster juice. I'm detecting a theme.

Anything not lobster based. The lobster juice only has the little lobster in it. Spam, spam, spam. Yeah, lobster crem. That's... Dad put a quarter in the jar.

Oh. Which is Eric Eiddle's retirement fund. I'm feeling plum-tuckered out. All of this eating the good food has me feeling ready for laying down. Right. So I'll just, I'll take a key and retire early. Yes. Are we in one room with three beds?

No, three rooms. Mm. Nice. With three beds. in each one bed in just a standard bed to room ratio

oh the standard one yes which we as humans understand perfectly exactly okay now I'm gonna have each one of you roll to blend in to sleep

oh okay how many dice three dice oh wow this is some of the most high stakes sleeping that yeah holy shit

Okay, one for one. Six, six, two. Six, three, three, twelve. I got 14. Fourteen, a twelve, and a six. Justin, roll a D6 for me? Five. Five.

You perform the action in a way that inconveniences others. You tick in your sleep. What? You tick in your sleep like a snore. Nice. But it is a ticking sound that you make while you sleep. Oh, okay. The other two of you, your action is super charged beyond your control.

And in this circumstance, you sleep so heavily that you do not hear someone or something into your rooms and take your candles. What? But we need those. Reventure. You know, if I had had the power to set alarms, this would have never happened. Oh, that would have cracked this thing wide open. Maximum Fun. A Worker Own Network of Artist-owned shows.

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