The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone Providence: Episode 2

Episode Date: October 15, 2026

Tintabula, Spira, and Minutiae investigate a very personal robbery by questioning a schoolbell, a rogue lobster, and the mysterious new island community members.We're playing Super Normal from Ursidice: https://ursidice.com/supernormal/Original Music by Griffin McElroyAdditional Music in this Episode: "Ancient" by Lightning Traveler: https://open.spotify.com/artist/1oLhhXyQ8Xf4CUrO7Ir0vU; Creeping Scary Atmosphere for Night Scenes" by Alex Morgan: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/alex-morgan/; and "Atlantis" by Jason Shaw: https://audionautix.com/.Center for Reproductive Rights: https://reproductiverights.org/ Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Manusia. You wake in the middle of the night. Everything still has a very dreamlike feel to it, and you are unable to tell exactly what time it is. And sitting at the end of your bed is a man that is slightly taller than average. Like maybe six foot seven, maybe you had to guess. and he appears to you and he says the lobsters are exactly what they've seen

so like I just yeah I wanted you to know like so I shouldn't yeah the lobsters they're exactly what they seem who are you I'm the slightly taller than average man oh it's uh it's mildly surprising to meet you I guess

yeah I get that I get that lot. I also wanted to tell you that gum you like was gross and became obsolete for a reason, and it's never coming back in style. So like, it was basically just like those two things. I needed to tell you. Okay. Do you need me for any of this? Or is this kind of one? I mean, is there anything you wanted to tell me? Normally I'd tell you the time, but I'm, I don't know. No, wait, there it is. Oh man It was 538

Oh then I guess It's time to wake up Well actually no not for another 22 months Oh I thought I thought you'd wake up then sorry what Not for another 22 minutes or so I got time Okay well I'll just be here You fucking cowards better keep this going for 22 minutes Or I'll never listen to this show again

You guys wrote a check so big And me and dad gave you the space you needed To cash that check, now cash it. Or on what time is it now? Let the record show. I was happy to sit in that silence, but you broke the covenant, Griffin. Like, we were there. Yeah, that's a fair point.

We were there. I could feel a, so you wake up at, no. No, fuck that. I was going to sit there. 22 minutes. Let it ride. You broke, you messed up there. But we should actually move on now that I guess I broke it.

So what time is it now? It's six, it's six. It's six a.m. Then I guess it's, Time to wake up. All right, see you. Okay, bye. And you wake up in your bed.

The slightly taller than average man is gone. And meanwhile, Spira and Tabula. What? That was almost like a dream, although. You had a dream? Well, it's sort of like a dream, but it's all very believable and plausible. Man, I've never had one before. It seems crazy to me that you have.

Sleep? Sleep adventures? It's my first one ever. It was kind of a disappointment, honestly. What happened? There was a tall guy there, and he said the lobsters are just what they seem. So we should probably stop asking about that. And he talked about the gooey stuff that comes out of trees.

Gum. He talked about gum for some reason, and then we sat in silence for 20 minutes. Yikes. Oh, I snoozed. He just kind of sat there. I guess. He's just staring at you? He stared at the wall, actually.

That's creepy. Somehow weirder, actually. Yeah, and we're taking his word on the lobster. Like he was waiting for someone else to come in, I think, or? I don't know. It was a really weird energy? So was this like a prophecy? Or?

I feel like I would have learned more from a prophecy. This was more of a bulletin, I guess. Okay. What did you think of sleeping, by the way? How was that for you? I was aware of every second that passed. So I did not find it hugely relaxing. I was going to say, not very restful.

No, how about you, Spira? Did you, the experience of sleep? It was okay. I suspect I was snoring quite a lot. And, you know, I have some trouble with my nighttime emissions, by which I mean my breath. But the CPAP machine hasn't been in. invented yet. Oh, no. I got up every two hours to pee, so it was like my normal life. Let's just not do that again. That was like eight hours that we could have just done more

investigating. Why do people do that? I don't know. I'll never sleep again for the rest of my life. So do you think something that we should go out and find some chewing gum? Is that what you're saying? I don't think we should talk about it anymore, to be honest with you. That's about how I think it merits. in terms of our attentions. We leave the lobsters be and kind of move on with our lives, I think. Right. By the way, did one of you accidentally pick up my golden candle, which is our only connection back to the world of the gods,

and not mention it to me? No. I don't know how. I was asleep. I don't. You should have it in your bag. I know. I looked for my name.

Wait a minute. Mine's missing two. Oh, poo. Minocia. No, that's fine. Oh. Yeah. Nobody.

No issues, yeah. No one took your, no one took your, sorry. Have you looked? Yeah. No, it's. No, I have mine. Don't I have mine? Yeah, you have yours.

Yeah, mine. See, look. Sorry, I had to ask Jesus. The God of Gods. That's what. The King of King, the Lord of Lords. We waited until episode Tia to bring this in, Oh, Zana, hey, Zana, Zana, Zana.

Okay, well, our candles are missing, and we need all three in order to signal to the other plane that we've solved the crime and we're ready to rock. Okay, well, I'll keep really good tabs on mine, I guess. Sorry, guys. Okay, so maybe this tall man, was it maybe not a dream? And he came in and he took our two candles? Hold on a second. God, my memory stinks. I'm trying to remember if you had two candles.

No, I don't think you did Jesus, do you have two candles or like a sack over his back or anything? Like Jean Valjean or something? No, he did not. I don't know, guys. I don't think he did. All right, so, um, let's, can we, can we, all right, let's make a stop in the lobby. You hear a bell ringing downstairs.

Oh, it's Lenny! Oh, sorry, I know all bells. And you hear Ruth call up, it's time for breakfast, bisque. Ruth, did anyone come in last night and have a sack and maybe take stuff from us? Maybe waxy build up on their fingertips. Guys, I think have a sack is their slang for go to sleep. Oh, have a sack. Have a sack.

You may need to clarify that you don't mean like sleep. Not like sleep, Ruth, like a sack. A bag. A bag. A bag. A valise. That could contain roughly the volume of two normal candles. Yeah.

Well, no, you can ask little Ed. He was on the night shift. Okay. Could we come downstairs so we don't have to yell back and forth? I mean, there's no one I'm staying here, so I'm not worried about you disturbing other guests, but it would be nice to see your faces. Can I look around the room and see, look for clues?

I'm talking about unlatched window. People love that shit when they're coming in to steal stuff. I'm talking about broken locks. on the door. Do it. Okay. Secret entrances. Can I look for secret entrances?

Give me a D20 roll just to see how you do. That is a 19. Nice. Yes. The window is, there's a circle cut out of the glass. And a little bit of seawater on the ground. Interesting. Sea water on the ground.

Any lobster tracks? I rolled the sea water. 17. Lobster tracks. I'm picturing lobster feet. Oh, no, I don't have anything here. Yeah. In your head, do you mean?

Because I think it's just points. I think it's just little tiny points. I think they do a lot of scurry. Because they skitter. Right. Yeah, they're like bugs. Yeah. So there's skitters on the, in my room?

No, but you have the same hole cut in the window. and seawater on the ground. Okay. All right. And none of that in minutia's room. Okay. Consternation. Well, Manusia didn't sleep as heavy as you guys

because of the counting every second and ticking. We all talked a big game about how sleep is silly. And then we like really crashed. I'm going to go down for Bisk, for breakfast Bisk. Oh, breakfast Bisk, come on down. and lobster cinnamon rolls. Ew. Now that, okay, stop.

That's crazy because you could just make cinnamon rolls. They're shaped like lobsters. There's no lobster in them. We asked if you had any food last night. You asked if I had any drink. Okay, so yes. Lobster coffee? Biss, lobsters.

It's just, I don't know. Loster coffee. If it doesn't have coffee beans in it, what is the distinction between lobster coffee and lobster? Oh, so the lobster coffee is made from beans that have passed through a lobster. It softens them up. It makes them delicious. That's true.

I mean, that sounds good, actually. Yeah, it's delicious. What do you do with that? Do you rub it in your skin? Do you paint with it? What do you do that? I'm sure there are some weirdos who do that, but it's just, we just drink it around here. We're just salt of the earth.

Of course. I don't know. I drink it all the time. Very normal. That's just quick tape. quick, just us talk, Ruth. Oh, go away, Ruth. Ruth, go away.

Let's just assume that anything we don't know what it is is food or drink. That sounds great. And we'll make that our default position and move from there. Okay, great. All right, Ruth, come back. Okay. So you saw no one enter our rooms last night. See anyone scurrying about outside in the wee hours of the morning?

I clocked out at midnight and Little Ed was on... And we left your lobster here. The night desk. Okay. Do you have, and please be straightforward, and earnest with me as much as you are capable, any way of communicating with this lobster? I mean, like, you could say, like, you know,

shake your claw one for yes, two, for no? He'll understand what we are saying. If he decides to pay attention today. Okay, did you, I guess, did you see, did you see anyone scurring about last night? one claw click for yes two for no he holds up I'm writing this down give me

give me a D20 roll okay to persuade the lobster 14 he shrugs in a lobster like way that communicates to you what's in it for me hey what do lobsters eat Ruth

surprise surprise he just like everywhere The other lobster I ever met. Yeah. So trades actual. Oh, he loves lobster biscuits. Please tell me what that is now. It's treats for lobsters. It's frozen lobster bisque and disc shape.

Yeah. Can I have one to give to him as a bribe? You can have a couple. Okay, great. How about a couple of lobster biscuits? He hits you four. How about four lobster? Well, three lobster biscuits.

Save one for HP later. All right. His beady little eyes light up. All right, so one click for yes, two for no. Was there, did you see anything last night? That was peculiar. We've been robbed of our most precious cameras. He clicks no.

God damn it. Real waste of Bisk. I'm going to hang on to this fourth biscuit. I was going to give you this fourth biscuit. Yeah. No, no, no. Man, if I had a nickel for every time Griffin communicated with a crustacean in an adventure zone, I'd have two nickels.

You'd have two nickels, but it's still weird that it happens. twice. Okay. All right, so no leads here. What are you all going to get up to today? Any big plans? I'm going to go meet the Martel family. Oh, yes, yes, Austin's newest residence. Hmm.

You know what? I'd like to inspect the grounds. I find the architecture of this. Like the dirt? The shellfish in. Little shellfish in looks so adorable. I'd like to look at the architecture, especially the architecture right under our windows.

I just would like to see, I believe that's the sun-facing side. I just wanted to take a look out there, see if it rings any bells. Okay. Might I also recommend Curtin Dale put on quite a show down at the blacksmiths slash carpenter shop? If you're looking for something to do. And let me guess. Dale is the god of curtains. Am I correct?

What? Like a nickname. Like a nickname? They call him the god of... Yeah, he's really good at curtains. No, he's... He's a carpenter, Dale. So, I mean...

Curt and Dale. Oh, Kurt and Dale. Oh, my goodness. What a mix him up. Oh, I had the same thought. I thought the guy's name was Curtin Dale. No. Oh, what a hilarious mix-up.

This is quite a... What a humorous misunderstanding. Fall for all. Oh, no, Kurt and Dale, twin brothers who run the combination Blacksmith and Carbenter. I wouldn't mind making a visit there. I'm a fan of blacksmithing. Do you all like potions and tinctures? Yeah, who doesn't?

Is that like Bisque? Well, in a way, I guess. Is it as delicious? Is it as delicious as bismith? It depends on what ails here. You could go see Norma. the apothecary. Okay.

And the potions, do they hurt the mouth also? Sometimes they heal the mouth. Hmm. I could use some of that. Your culinary system is quite complicated. Thank you. I'll be honest with you, Ruth. It feels like we're trying to come up with plants for the day, and you keep, like, just

sort of throwing more plans at us. Well, I'm something of an ambassador here. As the inn keeps so happy to have visitors. It happens so rarely that we get to show off. our charming little village. Hmm. And the visitors you've had most recently, has there been anything off about them?

Anything strange and perhaps dark and ritualistic? Hmm. Sorry to bring up rituals, by the way. I know that's gross. No, it's fine. Rituals are fine. We do them at the church all the time. I believe our last guest was a brush salesman

about 10 years ago. Good. You haven't had anyone else come to this island in a day. Oh, the Martels. But their residents, they moved here. They're not guests. They didn't visit. How would you describe their vibe?

Would you say it is dark and ritualistic? Oh, they do magic. Okay. The husband, collie, you know him. He talks a lot about change. Okay. Wanting things to change, not liking the way things are. It feels a lot like...

Okay. Yes. Great. Thanks. We get it. He doesn't like the way things are where so many people are kind of alive and stuff and he'd like to change it. Yeah. And how like when you have like a, you know, a stapler that it doesn't like come alive and freak out. Like some sort of twisted toy story.

I wish that was kind of different. I, maybe we should go meet these martels. Yeah, I've been pushing that for a while. Yeah, let's let's. You sorry, dad just became hellgrammit and it really fucked me up in a big way. Oh, sorry, dear. Um, yeah. Do you want a cup of bisque for the road?

Yeah, it might clear my throat so I don't sound like a... Yes, here you go. Take a traveler. Hmm. I mean, I want to visit the blacksmith and carpenter, but it really feels like the Martel Manor is going to be productive, clue-wise. So I don't know if we want to, should we split up or... No. I'll stop by the Martel Manor.

I'm going quite fun of you, boys. I think... No, let's go to the Martel Manor. Let's walk over there. Let's go to Martell Manor. Bartel. Okay, so we're mid-jorney, right? So here's what I'm still confused about is Biscuit drink because I got coffee and Bisk.

Right. And I'm trying to figure out is Bisk drink? Because with coffee, two drinks? I don't know. Yeah. And then there's Biscuits. Right. I don't know if they're brilliant Bisk or what.

Yeah, it's very confusing. This is, well, like you said, we treat everything like it's food. As you leave the inn, you can see across the road the combination blacksmith and carpenter shop where the two brothers, you assume, Kurt and Dale, one hammering away on an anfill, the other chopping away at a log in perfect sink as they are eyeballing you as you walk north, east, towards, I point at them, you guys don't go anywhere. We're coming your way later today. Guaranteed, They keep eyeballing you and hammering slash chopping in perfect sync. Do you think Dale's first name is Dale or last name is Dale?

Who's asking? That was me. I mean, their last name is Packard, if you must know. They're twin brothers. Okay. You pass the major store on your left and the Alderman's office on your right. You can also see a pathway with a hand-painted sign off to the left, indicating that that is the pathway to the apothecary.

You pass the docks and the boathouse as you make your way towards the beachfront manor of the martels. Do we see a lot of people like out and about as we walk? Now I'm realizing the entire sort of length of this town. Well, you walk the eastern half of the town. There is more to the west. But I mean, you saw the Packer Brothers. you see Teddy setting up kind of a sandwich board sign in front of the major store and he waves at you.

Okay, so some friendliness here. Yeah, it's a little mechanical the wave, but there's a wave in there. A perfunctory business wave. Are there tourists? No. No, dude. They clearly said that there haven't been in 10 years, except for us. And you see the alderman, Alderman Dale, sipping his lobster coffee,

standing in front of the door. Once again, finger hooked in his lapel. He's turned his clothes back around. Okay. Can I flag him down? Real quick, on our way. I know we've got business, but I just real quick, if we could plant a seed real quick. Good morning! Hey, Dale, real quick, we were robbed last night at the inn.

Oh, no! Is there any sort of peacekeeping force here on the island or the Delta, I should say? You could talk to Sheriff Leo. Sheriff Leo. Okay. We're actually, but that is sort of far from here, and we are actually going, we have business at Martel Manor. Would you mind just dipping down to Sheriff Leo, provide the report, we were robbed two beautiful candles last night from the little shellfish in, just see if he can crack the case while we're doing our other business so that when we're finished, we can just grab our, like pick up our candles. Yes, do you want the sheriff to meet you at the Shellfish Inn later?

I don't understand why he needs our imp. Again, I told you everything. Someone came in our room. There was a wet hole in the window. Well, I don't know how you all do it where you come from, but when an investigation takes place, the sheriff doesn't just take the word. So I've got to look around or get a feel for things. Yes, it's the procedure.

Okay. It's a procedural. Yeah, I guess go ahead and tell him to meet us at the inn later. And, yeah, we can walk in. We are really writing a lot of checks. I'm not sure this episode can cash. No, we've got it. We got it.

Okay, all right. We got it. So beachside resort. Beachside Banner, yes. As you approach the Martel House, the first thing you see is two children, a boy and a girl, twins with, like, white, blonde hair. All three of you roll a D20 for me. Three. Nat 20.

Wow. It's a 13. Tintabula, you realize that in everyone that has been mentioned to you, everyone you've seen, these are the first and perhaps only children that you have seen on the island. And they are staring at you, fairly blank-faced and still. And these are people and not lobsters. Yes. Okay.

Listen, have you two noticed that there haven't been any kids, I mean, like, that weren't covered in Kighton that were like human children? Do you think that's a little weird? Now that you've said it, yeah. Honestly, you saying it also feels weird, but yeah. It does, isn't it? Yeah, that is, I suppose, strange. I forgot about kids, actually. I forgot about...

Sometimes John's kids were school? Perhaps. So these children... Uh-huh. They are school. Perhaps. It's possible all the kids are school. We are school.

Yeah. We did pass by a schoolhouse, didn't we? There is a schoolhouse on the island, but that is to the west of the end. Oh, okay, okay. Oh, wait, I have an idea. Hello, children. I am Antintabula And I

How are you today? How is school bed? Oh, that was actually better. They just stare at you. No response. I see. Do you go to school? That's good.

They continue to stare at you, no response. I'm going to imitate a school bill. Yeah. Yes. That's good. And see if that gets any kind of reaction out of it. Okay. Now, is it like a subtle thing or do you just open your mouth real wide and a bell sound comes out?

It depends on what kind of bell you're doing. Okay. What are you doing? This would be kind of an open mouth. It's almost like a smile. To kiss him a bell sound. Yeah. Yeah, like an open mouth.

Scary. So how many dice do I roll? Are you trying to hide that you're doing this, or are you doing it like blatantly to get a response from them? Kind of covering my face with my hand and doing it under a close-term. Okay, this is going to be show-off then, so roll two, D-6. Five and a nine. A four, a nine. That is a super glitch.

Roll a D-6 for me. Imitate school bill. That is a one. You perform the action with an unexpected level. of force. He's loud as hell, man. It's a loud schoolbell. Yeah, for a second,

Manusia and Spira, your ears are ringing. Now, the good news is it was loud enough that it does finally shock them into reacting and they cover their ears and then they look at each other and go, no, you flinched first. No, you flinch first.

No, you did it. No, you did it. And you hear laughing from the porch of the manor. From a third party, a third party laughing? Yes, correct. Who is, who is it? It is a very beautiful one. You would guess in her 30s,

well-manicured nails, perfectly quaffed hair, makeup done exquisitely, dressed in a very chic manner. Hello there. Sorry, kids, do you mind if we talk to your adult mother? Sturge the boy sticks out his time.

at you and the two of them run away. Oh, okay, Sturge. That's peak Sturge behavior, and that must be Dolly. Excuse me, are you, uh, Rachel Martel? Yes, I am. Greetings. You know, most people can't get them to stop playing that creepy game. Yeah, what was that all about?

Because I didn't like coming up to just witness that. It's about like, who flinches first, and will they make the person get creeped out and walk away? And it's just, I don't know when they started doing it. You know, kids. You know how kids are. Oh, they're adorable. They're adorable. They're not nightmares, but thank you very much.

So, we are new in town, as you probably could have guessed, because you don't know who we are. I'm Spira. These are my human associates, Tintabula, and minutia, and, well, we're just visiting here on vacation. Three people on vacation. Three normal people are human people on vacation. It's a Hindu. Mm-hmm. It's a what?

It's a Hindu. I heard John say it one time, like a hen party. A hint, a hit. I heard John say it's a hen party. Just. Right. What he said is absolutely true. We're going to get celebrate.

We're going to get celebrating this weekend. Oh, so did tabula you said it was? Is getting married? Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh, do old people get married? It is disgusting to them, but they do.

do it. Okay. Well, congratulations. Tentabula's getting old married and we are here to celebrate and... Yes. I left my sash back in the hotel. She apologizes for any disgust her love may cause. Yes.

Okay. I do. No, that's, yeah, no, it's understandable. Anyone can find love, you know, it happens at any time. I wasn't expecting to fall in love. with my husband when I met him, you know, he didn't come from much means, if you know what I mean. No. No, I don't understand that.

He didn't have a lot of money. No problems here. Take out the bag and shake it. Yeah, did you see, is this still a lot? Do you want some? Oh, no. Give her some money. I have plenty of money.

My family's very rich. But thank you. But do you want to give us some money? That's not normally how... I know you could always use a little more. Yeah. Anyway, we know that this island's known for two things. Three things, I guess it's a delta.

That's the first thing, not an island. And then the other two things are the lobster. Cheaply. All ketamine. Got a lot. And no. No, the other one was magic. Sorry.

Magic. Yeah. So, and we know that you're the ones to your family is sort of the, you know, the the ones who are making all the great arcane innovations. Well, it's not known for magic yet, but if my husband has anything to say about it, this will become quite the center. If you want to, do you want to come in?

We love a tour of the grounds. Yes. As you enter the Martel Manor, the first thing you notice on the wall is a marine chrono. Oh, nice one. Wow. Oh, thank you. Yes, my husband made that. Whoa. Whoa. Really nice workmanship. Did he do this all on his own? Oh, yes, he's, he's a craftsman combining magic and technology.

What's the, how much time does it lose? What? How much time does it lose? Oh, over, you know, span of a month, let's say. How many seconds you're losing on this baby? None. Nice. Well, none that you can detect, of course, but, I mean, it's close enough. Wow. Look at you, cutie.

You're getting awfully close. Yeah, sorry. I'll clamp the smudges after. Oh, a little grease on there. It's weird. Do you guys grease a lot? Do you need to be alone with the chronometer? No, no, no, I'm a little.

almost done. Oh! Oh, that's good. It reminds me it. It's kind of like the, it reminds of the H4. Do you ever see this? This is the fourth one that John Harrison made. It's way smaller than H1, H2, H3. Oh, you know John.

This is one of my favorites. Yo, you've met? Yes. Well, we run in the same circles. He and my husband share stories all the time. I mean, not now that we've moved here, but when we lived in the city. Yeah, well, I'm glad that he had John's work to sort of build on and stand on some might say. Oh, sorry?

Improve on, some might say? Well, that's, you know, there's always room for improvement, I guess. I love all marine chronometers equally. I'm just saying that you owe such a great debt to John. And the 40 years of work he spent, you know, making this incredible invention. That's all. Yes, but he was so focused on like the mechanics of it. and unwilling to improve it with magical additions

to keep it even more accurate, but less need for finesse when building because the magic would make out for so much of that. Oh, God. So you got any bellows around here? No. Those are something maybe my grandfather would have hused, but here we have many different powders,

different crystals that we have. We've charged with fire energy to create fires whenever we need them of different sizes. Right. Great. And those work 100% of the time every time, right? No weirdness. No like, oops, this one's made of too big a fire. I wish we could control it.

If only there was some way to control the amount of oxygen going into the fire. Oh, no, we've burnt our sword. No, my husband has it down to a science, really. Burned a sword. All right. And we don't want to take up a lot of your time. Like we said, we're here for a hen party, but all of our dreams were quite disturbed last night. I'm talking about, I'm talking about, Rachel, I'm talking about dark visions, things that would freak you out if you could even imagine them in the daytime.

Like what? Monsters. It's a sort of semi-tall guy. Maybe he works here. I don't know. He said it was a dream, but he may very well be an employee. he just looks like you're a regular pretty tall guy. How tall?

God, maybe nine feet, maybe four feet. God, height is such a problem for me. Would you say average height? He was like probably 13 minutes tall. I don't know how you would say that. But now you're taller than most people, I would say, for sure. Oh, no, I don't. You and Spiro are both tall, remember?

That's tall for sure. That would be average. So, but yeah, that was just Minush's dream. Mine had like vampire blood and a big monster that ate you. Were you reading a scary book before bed? No, it's just, I am something. Sometimes. I'm not a child.

Look at how tall I am. Yes, that's an excellent point. I hadn't considered. I'm so many minutes old. How many minutes? So, ask, ask minutia. Well, right now it is roughly 905. Not roughly.

It's 905. And then you were... God. I don't know. I'm like 40. So... Okay. Yeah, and I'm way older than that.

Way older. Hundreds, probably? Probably like 100. But I have these dreams. Whenever I'm like near magical stuff, I feel fairly like an impath. And so I'm just curious, like, do you get any sort of bad dreams from being around so much magic stuff? Or is there any other kind of like dark energy? No, at this point...

I mean, the dream I have, my husband and I share, is sharing this wonderful quaint Delta, as you say, with all of our friends and making this like the new destination for vacations. And with my husband's help, creating all kinds of magical improvements to make this like the talked about Delta destination vacation spot. So when you go to sleep, the movie that happens in your brain is, what you just said. Well, I usually have like three or four. And that you and your husband somehow walk the same mind movie. No, that was more, I was speaking slightly metaphorically. I usually have three or four glasses of wine before bedtime. And that helps we sleep without dreams pretty well. Oh, wine is delicious. I, that, we, we, we eat wine. We love it. Oh, what do you like that? Morning wine?

What other kind is there? A fine prank She pours you three glasses I'll have mine in a cup Excellent Oh A cup of wine, yes Oh, that's good

She pours you three morning wines I need a spoon I think Would love a spoon Oh The wine spoon Do you have wine spoons That's how we do it

Where we're from Would you prefer Okay. I have silver spoons. Oh, yes. Okay. And that goes in my mouth? That's ridiculous.

Gilbert would love this one. Does that out loud? Oh, this is good. Oh, this is the best beverage we've had so far. It is a beverage, right? Yes. I mean, of course it's a beverage. What's the, there's no insight check in super normal, but her evasiveness when I asked her if there was any kind of dark stuff, giving her bad dreams.

Roll a Z 24. Yeah. A 17. A 17. There was definitely some evasiveness. But you also know, like, her husband is a magic user. Okay. I'll say this.

Up till now, you've gotten kind of mixed signals. around the island as far as everyone's feelings on magic. And perhaps they have had to deal with people talking about magic being dark and evil previously. Okay. Okay. So this line of questioning is going to set off some, it's going to set people's hackles. It sounds like asking about dark magic stuff. Yeah.

I mean, you don't know that that will be the reaction every time, but it seems that there are varying opinions. Okay, cool. Rachel, pardon me, that wine. Yes, you drank it so fast. The way the... Oh, we didn't eat it? We drank it, of course. It has just gone right through me.

Could I use the little God's room? The what? The... The little humans room. My children? I have to pee, Rachel. I have to take a pee. Yes.

It's been two hours. That is the normal amount of time. Yes, it is. The bathroom's right. right down the hall, first door on the left. Yes, all right. And is that next to any other rooms? Like, you know, where, like an office or a bedroom or anything.

I mean, just where to stay away from. Oh, yeah. I should stay away from. I don't want to accidentally. No, that wing of the house, yes, it's where our bedrooms are. But like I said, first door on the left. Yes, of course, yes. All right, you kids stay here

and I'll go tinkle. Meanwhile, you two, Minusha and Spira, having drank the wine, give me a blend in roll. Your first alcohol. How many dice is that? That's three dice. One.

Six to two. What? How many? Sorry. Three. All right, well, I'll leave that one, and I'll roll two more, just the interest of fairness.

Four, four, one. 4-4-1 so 9 and I got a 10 total so both of you get a super glitch both of you roll a D6 for me 5 also a 5 you perform the action in a way

the inconveniences others as I drink the wine as I've seen people do once before I spit it into a nearby plant vase delicious thank you so much

oh um huh vase me pass it I passed the vase I passed the vase indubitably

oh yeah that's where that goes ah the juice ah the juice that was quite rude um what was you just spit wine onto my plants

I thought Well, you didn't provide a spitting. You didn't ask. And she holds up a spittoon from beside the couch. Okay. We have a crystal spittoon right here. Sorry, we're doing our best to blend in. Well, aren't we all?

You know, you move to a new place like this and you just, you know, you try to make friends, but everybody's so stuck in their ways. You know, everyone's so afraid of new folks coming in, bringing new blood, you know, new energy. has everyone been treating you since you've been here? Do they like you or do they not like you? Huh. What a delightfully direct way to ask that question. I would say, Well, I've only got two days, seven hours, and 13 minutes left,

so I don't have a lot of time to waste. There's definitely been some cold shoulders around town. Some people have really enjoyed, you know, old Hayward loved the chronometer that my husband gave him. and, you know, of course, Kurt and Dale, the blacksmith. I bet Ted's shoulders have been very cold. Oh, because he doesn't have you. Did you hear about his, just blew off a storm?

Blew off his jacket in a storm. Terrible storm. He's been heartbroken ever since. Loved that jacket. Not like Hayward loves his boat. Let me be clear, because I do feel the need to specify. He enjoys the presence of the jacket. Okay.

Just want to make that clear. aesthetically. Yes. Aesthetically, not romantically, yes. And Kurt and Dale have both approached my husband talking about, you know, upgrades and updates they could make to the carpenter shop and, of course, the blacksmith shop, the forge and what have you. I just don't, it just seems like what, but like why, though? It just seems like why, though.

Could we talk to your husband, too? about his whole thing? Yes, now that she's not in the room, we promised Tintabula that part of the Hinn party could be that she could talk to your husband. And what a specific promise to me? Well, she likes this stuff. She likes it.

She was being very coy earlier, but she loves this magic stuff. And, you know, that was a big reason we came here to the Delta is we told her that, oh, you've got to talk to Cowley McCorm. Callie McCorp. What? Cali. Carlie Martel.

Yes, of course. What kind of hen party could be complete without a roundtable discussion with some of your favorite inventors? Well, he is hold up in his shop currently. I'm not allowed in there during work hours. Who knows what he gets up to? Where's that? It's in his office wing there to the right where he does all his machinations and whatnot. but he should be done this evening if you'd like to return

about seven I would say he would be free to chat what time exactly seven okay at seven or about seven I mean after seven so anytime after seven one seven and thirty seconds seven to fifteen seconds what are we looking at I would say roughly between seven twelve and seven eighteen I'll keep it loose then

Okay. Let's jump to Tintabula. You've headed to the bathroom. Were you actually going to the bathroom? No, always. I think we've established. Always a little bit. Always kind of.

Yeah. No, I think it's a ruse. No way. And I think, yeah. And Tintabula is going to, I think, maybe go through the master bedroom. and look for something. Okay, give me, first give me a D20

for your sneaking ruse. Okay, that is a 14. 14. Yeah, you sneak on over to what you would read as like the main bedroom. See, I've been imagining Tintabula with every step making a little

jingle jangle sound. Well, she has that cane that has a little bell on it. Yeah, it's not super effective. And I would say with a 14, you hear a door slightly further down the hall kind of creak open and then close as you turn and reach for the handle of the door. But perhaps it was just the wind. She shakes her cane and it makes that little bell ring. So she opens the door.

The bedroom door? Okay. Yep. You enter into what you correctly assumed was Rachel and Colley's bedroom. You see a lavish bed set for a poster. Nice. Bed curtains and everything. But you also see lots of bookshelves.

Many leather bound gold riding on the spines, gold edges on the books, lining the shelves. I think I have an idea for a third power. What an interesting time to bring this up, Dad. Please, you share. What is it that bats do? Echo location. Echo location? Yeah.

Would that be justified to ring the bell and see how the... I can justify it, but... Because bats live in the... It's just that Justin's power is he knows what time it is, and I inhale and blow. Yeah. And so being able to magically locate any object with the power of... Not just that, but being able to summon such an ability at the exact moment where it becomes.

Yeah, well, I wasn't told that we could have a bonus magic power that could be just sort of contact sensitive to the time that you need it. All right. I want to, okay, I'm going to have her investigate the books. It's a great call, Dad. You open the books. You just grab one at random. Inside our mini arcane symbols. Well, roll a D20 for me.

me. Okay. That's a 17. Um, so it is a recognizable language. Like you've seen this before, it's an older writing, but no longer used. So you're not familiar with the actual like, uh, wording of anything. You are not able to translate it, but you know that this is like an archaic kind of dead language outlining all these different, uh, magical, I don't want to use the word rituals, but magical procedures. magical knowledge. Is there a really small one? Like a small book?

Small book. Roll another D20 for me. 18. Where were these rolls? No, never mind. Never. Sorry. No, you can say we rolled like shit during Royale and now God is, the carmic balance is being restored. The God of Dice. Yeah, I guess so. You find a slim volume.

This one without any gold writing on the spine. This appears to be Colley's like notebook. There's no writing in it, but there are lots of diagrams, drawings, particularly as you get near the end, lots of different geometric shapes. I take it. I lift the hem of my robe. I wear these robes. And tuck it into my garter.

belt. Gross. On my thigh. Okay. You have stolen his book. Yes. His journal is like the meanest book to steal. Probably like he probably puts some private stuff in there.

You could have stole it. Yeah, you ignored the big thick book that was labeled My Evil Scheme. Yeah. Well, I was afraid I couldn't smuggle that one out. Yeah. See, that would make my robes look weird. Right. So you wanted his smallest, most private,

personal book. Yeah, one he wouldn't miss. Right, okay, cool. He will miss it. Tomorrow. Or maybe tonight, depending on how he do it. Then I think I better get out of here. You scurry your way back to the living room.

Smart enough to stop by the restroom and make the flush. Okay, I'm going to need you to blend in to figure out how a toilet works. You guys talk to big game. I'm going to say, no way you can fucking no scope that. Well, now, wait a minute. I thought I used the bathroom three or four times over it. You made that up because you guys spent like 20 minutes of episode one being confused by the chair that he sat on. The chair and the toilet.

Okay, so what am I roll? We're going to roll 3D6s to blend in using the toilet. Didn't feel like toilet. Please roll bad. Please roll a high number. 13. 13. It's supercharged.

You get to be. So you're going to roll a D6. Tell me what you get. Okay. A six. From the bathroom. In dad's voice, they hear, Not again.

Whoa! You activate one of your powers. Accidentally, you activate one of your powers. I'm going to say the sound of church bells starts ringing from the bathroom. And I get to choose the second one because it is a supercharging. glitch. You perform the action in a way that inconveniences others. You overflow the toilet.

Oh. I... But I don't know. I think that's way it's supposed to have work, right? We hear the noise and see it leaking from the ceiling. And I say to... I say to Rachel Martel. Rachel Martel. Sounds like an

angel. Got its wings. Awesome. I know that this is a Hindu, as you said. It's getting a little bit rowdy for me. I think I'm going to need to ask you all to head out so I can get someone to clean up. Honestly fair. The bathroom. Yeah, that's great.

But we can swing back by at seven for a time after seven. Tentabula comes down the steps. Clean up in aisle five. Do not go in there. Yeah, no, for sure. Tentabula, we heard the table. toilet bell. Oh.

Oh. All right. It does not seem like a very efficient system, this flushing, and then it all runs out over the floor. No, that doesn't normally happen. Oh. Oh, I thought it was like a self-cleaning thing. No. No.

Then, uh, sorry? All right. Let's go. Yes, quickly. And as you leave, what you do not see is that door in the hallway. creek back open as Sturge and Dolly peek out, look at each other, share a look, and then close the door back. Oh, that's just kid stuff. I ain't worried about that. We're on adult business right now. That's just kid stuff. I can't be bothered.

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