The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone Royale: Episode 20

Episode Date: March 19, 2026

The wizards reap the rewards of having survived their last trial, but the circumstances of their respective wins are cause for both celebration and consternation. Royale Theme: “Wizard Disco” by Louie Zong: https://louiezong.bandcamp.com/album/wizard-disco Original Music by Griffin McElroy Additional Music in this Episode: "Fireball", "Night Sky", and "Simple Song" by Jar of Flies: https://jaroffliesofficial.bandcamp.com/; "The Fae" by Mark Lingard: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/mark-lingard/; "Moulds Sun" by 10 Echo: https://10echo.bandcamp.com/; "Pearly Carapice", "Skin Writhes Anxious" by ROZKOL: https://rozkol.bandcamp.com/;  “If You Can't Be the Sun, Be the Sun” by Schemawound http://schemawound.com/; "ATH" by Lex Villena: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2iwj2SqGnplhDIadeJ5bmy?si=9db2f1db3f7649c9&nd=1&dlsi=7a09f77fc450459a; "Jingle Bells Calm" and "Midnight Tale" by Kevin MacLeod:  https://incompetech.com/; "Death" by Holizna: https://holiznaroyaltyfree.bandcamp.com/;  and"tribute to eddy" by Jean Toba: https://jeantoba.blogspot.com/. Border Angels: https://www.borderangels.org/our-services.html Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Previously on Taz Royale, six daggers plunge into him, and you see him stand stock still and fall backwards over dead. Leggy! I want to chop his arm off. And the gentleman is gone. In rage, Rictus takes off for, I guess, the zygirai. Becoming a father of an adult man didn't gr. to make me weaker, to make me stronger than you could ever know, then I give him one big kick off the bridge.

Damn you can come! You see a message is in your own handwriting. That message reads, Threikine inside. Hello everybody, welcome back to Taz Royale, our Battle Royale, winner take all season of the Adventure Zone. On the last episode, we finished the trial of Conjuration, the fifth of our eight trials here of the octave conclave. Completely shockingly, frankly, we all, the three characters we've been playing survived. That was long odds in Vegas.

That was not predictable. We're all... I was on the edge. I was going to say, Gracon v. Loravith was the closest we got to... Oh, Zicey. A competitive sort of match. You embarrass the gentleman with your ploy. And, well, Dr. Leggium never really stood much of a chance.

Let's pick up, right where we left off, which was Loravith, you were on the bridge where the duel took place with your old friend and rival Gricon. You defeated him in just a punch festival. Kill him. You killed him. Yeah, I mean, you killed him. He punched him so hard that he died from it and fell into the waters drifting off over the edge of the Octav Ziggara Island. You are standing on this bridge looking around, and you can see most of these big red rectangular walls that were sectioning off the different arenas have vanished at this point. During your duel, you were distracted by the dueling grounds where your dear ward.

I guess. Not your ward. Like you're protecting him. Yeah, Ward. Yeah, Ward, I guess. Duber Sweetleaf was battling Pip, the gigantic gnome. The duel has ended.

What do you do? I need to stride over there. Okay. You stride over, crossing across the island until you reach the woods on the southwest quarter of the island where the Majes Tower stands. As you reach that part,

part of the island, trying to catch a glimpse of this battle. You see the red light barrier surrounding the arena where Duber was fighting suddenly disappears. And it leaves behind it just a big solid block of fog, thick, dense, roiling fog that as the barrier disappears, this fog then drops and begins to slowly sort of disperse through the island. And as it does so, it reveals Pip, who again had magically enlarged himself to a gigantic size, is lying impaled on the top of the Mages Tower. Give me a perception check, please. Griffin, Pip is still enlarged, right? Oh yeah. Ah, we won't starve. Excellent. You're going to eat Pip? I'm not saying that's my first choice. Nine. Nine. With a nine, you

show up to this very, very grisly scene. With a nine, you hear movement up in the, in the trees, sort of near your location in front of the tower. There is a slow drip of blood falling out of the boughs of these trees. And looking up, you see Duber Sweetleaf was hiding up in the boughs of these trees. And he looks pretty bad off. He's got a cut over his eye with some blood dripping down. and he is just kind of trembling in fear. I'm going to use battle medic. As a utilize action, I can expend one use of a healer's kit

to tend to a creature within five feet of myself. Okay. That creature can expend one of its HP dice and then I roll that die. The creature regains a number of HP equal to the roll plus three. Okay, so that's a D6 plus a three. Five plus three, eight. Okay, yeah, I mean, within five feet,

you are a tall Goliath, and you can basically just sort of reach up to where he is in a fetal position. I'm also still big. In this tree, right. Yeah, so you just sort of two-hand grab him up out of the tree and set him on the ground and tend to his wounds with your kind. Du Bo, I'm very proud of you for not dying.

What happened? You took a life, Duba. How do you feel? He looks up at where Pip is in. just kind of like trembling, shaking his head, sort of catatonic. He is in shock as you are sort of tending to his cut. I, I won? Yes, you won.

You won, Duba, and yet you lost something very dear. Innocence. I just meant to hide. I didn't. Yes, yes, yes. I didn't know that he would fall and become. Oh. Are you, Duba?

I'm going to be sick. Made a proper choice. I'm very proud of you, as I've said. You survived, though That's good Deep breath So what... Deep breath, hold on this was staying

Okay, what of Grick... Ah! Good boy, Duba! What of Gracan, then? Dead, dead is yours. Well, not quite that dead. Oh, boy, Duba. I believe you have a taste for the darker,

the darker things. A little bit of shadow in you, boy. I wish Randolph were here. I wish I was back home. please you say that duber but think of this what did the duber of you today were to meet the duber of then who would emerge from that dark alley victorious um i suppose um i suppose i am stronger sir um

i i think i need to go and lie down uh well that's highly advisable duber i'd stay off this leg too if i were you what nothing happened would you like you like you like you like you'd you like you'd you like you me to put you in a papoose sort of situation on my back. I think that would be... Quite large, you wouldn't see you do by. I think that would be nice. He climbs up into your little papoos.

Expect that to answer, all right. And he looks up at you kind of nuzzles in, closes his eyes, and falls fast asleep. Rictus, you were storming towards the Ziggurat after defeating the gentleman on a mission. What are you doing? Is there a door that he can bust through? You find a few members of the octave, including Coxie, the one... Is it a yes or no question, Griffin? Is there a door that he gets busted?

They are standing outside of the Ziggar out watching. Could you all go inside? Because I was kind of going to do a thing with Busted Through a Dora. We don't want to miss the rest of the trial. But I suppose if you're doing a dramatic thing... Okay, no, you guys stay here. He goes into the door and slams out of it. Okay.

Whoa. Oh, yeah. Congratulations, Rictus. I was hoping you would be the wonderful. What did you do? Well, uh, we, we said, sure, come on in. And then we sort of jumped backwards. No, in the fight.

We didn't. Why did you intervene? Oh, you mean that the fire that came up out of the big flame over there. That is, um, yes. I mean that we have told you all of all the aspirants here on the island repeatedly that if you remove your grimoire from your arm, you will be eliminated. It is one of our core sort of tenets here. It's one of the main sort of rules that we enforce. And so when his arm was sort of removed from his person during your duel, thanks to your quick thinking and vicious trickery, I will say, We did have to enforce that rule.

He was no longer equipped with his grim war. And so we, that is what happens. It would be doing us a huge favor if you wouldn't tell a lot of people about what happened. Because like then a lot of people are going to start doing like loopholes, like trying to get each other's grim war. Rick does grabs him by the like lapels. Oh, okay. Pushing them against the wall. No, you're going to know, my friend.

You are going to need to make an attack roll if you're going to. That's what he attempts to do, then. Yeah, that's what we're going to do. 19 plus three. Holy fucking shit. You jump forward and you reach your hands out to try and grab Coxie by his flashy golden lapels. As you make contact with him, you pass right through him as you do.

You see sort of this colorful cloud kind of disperse where you jumped through him. And then Coxie reappears just in front of you in front of the door. He says, Richtus, Rickus, listen to me. He was mine. Rictus, listen. First of all, another one of our rules is don't do that thing you just did. You are very lucky that I am not actually appearing here in person, or you would be punished in the same manner in which the gentleman was. You passed the trial, Riktis.

You did a very good job against an opponent that, frankly, a lot of us did not think you were going to be able to best. I think you need to take your victory in stride, but he is... No one here is yours to kill, Rictus. Do you understand? I demand an audience with whatever octave member specializes in necromancy. You demand the... I ask? Tell me, is this our intimidation, persuasion, what's the tact you're taking here?

Persuasion. Persuasion. Okay. Give me that roll, please. 15 plus one, 16. Good rolls. He sighs, he thinks for a minute. He says, this can be arranged.

The number of aspirants remaining is small enough that we can make. some office time available to you all, I suppose, if you seek it. I will make him aware, and you can visit him when he calls for you. He will answer whatever questions you have. But Rick, this, for real buddy, the attitude, you've got to turn it around. You are diabolical, my friend, and I think that you would make a great addition to the team of eight here. Um, but you, you gotta get this anger thing on the ego under control.

You know what I mean? Uh, Rickus takes a deep breath. See? Better isn't it? I, I have one more ask, please. Yes. I, I would like to claim the crystal that contains the spell of time that the gentleman wielded.

Hmm. This is unconventional, Rickus. But I will bring it up with our expert in the necromanic arts. And he can address this topic with you tomorrow when you meet with him. Is this satisfactory?

I'll have to recover it. It went inside that weird crazy soul sphere thing that was glowing and just obliterated his arm. I saw that. I was like, what? So, but I bet we can probably get it put back together for you. But again, that is not my position to award things like that. I suppose I will leave it to him.

Is that fair? Thank you for taking it into consideration. Of course, Rictus. And behind Rikis is back, he's just like clenching his right fist. Yes. Where that, like, weird, purply, like, gray and black part of the Wither and Bloom manifest from, and he's just like clenching it, like open and closed, restraining himself.

So grump, so cranky. Rectis, please make your way into the ziggurat. We will be summoning everyone for this sort of post-trial debrief. Let's find out who survived, yes? Hell, Gramet. What are you doing in the moments after the trial concludes? I think Hell Grammond is really studying the ground where, well, his new bride to be just scared away, too. Sure.

I think he's investigating it to see if there's anything unusual about it. Okay. Are you investigating the crystallarium? That is where this great crystalline centipede sort of dug underneath the structure to burrow inside. You are standing in sort of the edge of the woods overlooking the crystal. the crystallarium where you had etched the secret message that said Thrykeen inside to yourself. You know what? Give me a wisdom saving throw, actually, in this kind of to see if you remember sort of writing this as you're confronted with you. God, another nine. I think you do realize

this is yours. I think you don't exactly recall the moment of writing it, but like you, I think you remember enough to know that like this isn't some trick, this isn't some illusion. Like you very, you very much know that you did write this in reference to whatever is happening inside the crystallarium. Okay. Well, I'm going to head to the crystallarium then and maybe investigate. All right. Are you trying to take a stealthy approach to this?

Remembering that the crystallarium has been sort of off limits to you all as one of the core rules of this island? I would think so, yes. Okay. Give me a stealth check, not using your chameleon carapus, because it's not a hide. It is a sneak. If it's a nine, I'm going to...

Oh, it's a... Dirty 20, yeah, absolutely. Okay, yeah, you are able to sort of creep crawl along the ground. You find like a small ridge that you can kind of skitter around to reach kind of the base of the crystallarium where you saw this centipede burrow down into looking down at the ground. give me an investigation check. Could I do a nature check? Sure.

Yeah, either one would be fine. Okay. Nature check, that would be a 25. Wow. God, man, you know everything about it. All right, yeah. Okay. 25. You are in the ground.

You are unable to see through the walls of the crystallarium. The crystal that forms those walls is opaque, sort of a dark amethyst color. So you're unable to sort of like see inside of the structure. Looking down at the ground where the centipede burrowed, there is a, I think they're called carpenter spiders. Whenever they dig down, they leave these like very recognizable hills of kind of round granules that really kind of like stick out alongside the like other dirt that they dig down into.

you are able to see, it's not carpenter spiders, but you can see like very, very, very obvious signs of insects burrowing basically around the perimeter of this crystallarium, but literally hundreds of times. There has been a lot, a lot of coming and going from this structure, from some insects that you would estimate to be like not like, not that small, like roughly. about the size of this centipede that you saw earlier, which was about, I forget exactly what I said, like 16 inches long or something like a big, big long, wide sort of flat centipede. There are a lot of sort of burrows, none that you can like get down into, but this is a heavily trafficked sort of insect exit and entrance. Hmm Um But way too Small for

For uh Hell Grammat to get into Right Um Hell Grammet Senior Hmm

Something to think about I need a ward I need a ward like you Get in there, Duber Um Yeah no I mean It's it is

You are considerably larger Than those bugs are Right It is It is It's not impossible that you could dig down through there and back up into it. But I will say from like, from what you remember about sort of the moment where you wrote this message, you know

that fucking around here for any amount of time carries with it a pretty enormous amount of risk, whether it be death or you being forced to forget all of this stuff that you are all of a sudden able to remember. Then I'm going to try one, one quick thing before I leave. Okay. He can communicate mentally. Okay. Thrykeen telepathy. Without magic, you can't speak the non-thrike. I would love to hear Daffy-Dug say that.

Thrikeen telepathy. I would love to hear his ass even try to say that shit. I'm just thinking about Davy Tried-Douder. In the 25th and a half century. You can't speak the non. I mean a trig-law. Trigger all your vocal stems. Dad's splayed out on the ground here.

Mel Blank is fully entered his body. I'm just trying to say if he said Thracianth, Threikianthlepathy, it'd be a whole thing. You can use telepathy, magically transmitting your thoughts mentally to creatures within 120 feet of yourself. Any creatures? Yeah. Any creatures.

I've been saving this. Um, okay, Threikine telepathy. To any willing creatures? Yeah. I figured they came up and spoke. They'd be willing. Is it a one-way thing? You can transmit your thoughts mentally to willing creatures within 120 feet of yourself.

It must be able to understand a language. It is broken if you're the creature move apart or if either of you are incapacitated. Okay. So this is a question of you can send this message absolutely. It is a question of whether or not you will receive. anything in return. What would you like to say telepathically? I didn't get your name. Or your digits.

I guess she doesn't, she wouldn't have digits. Come, come back and talk to me. Please. This is all telepathically, right? Yeah. You see a very, very small insect. a little beetle, skitter out of the ground where you are sort of looking and projecting these thoughts. As it appears, you hear a whispered response in your mind that says,

you must flee. The time is not right. We will reach out when the opportunity strikes. You cannot be seen here. You must go. Very well. Do you have a name? Oh, please be Ringo.

Very well. Okay. But you will call, right? I mean, you will communicate, right? We will call. You're not going to ghost me. I cannot. You must survive, though. You must leave now, Hell Grammet. And the Beatles skitters back under the Hellgramette. Exit. Stage right. Pursued by Bear. You all are summoned back to the ziggurat at the center of the island as the dust of the trial settles and the sun begins to slip over the horizon of this floating island. Is Franklin still alive? Well, let's find out. It's time to find out who survived.

As you make your way over to the ziggarot, you see those big holographic busts. of the entrance into this trial begin to slowly kind of migrate through the sky. They had been floating over the arenas where each pair had kind of been matched up. You see your own visages alongside a few other familiar faces float over and take their place in a big ring encircling the highest tier of the ziggurat, slowly kind of rotating as motes of light shoot up and sparkle around them in celebration. And you see also as the other bus that were remaining over the arenas begin to wither and shrink and zoom in through the entrance of the ziggurat into the foyer, joining the kind of memorial exhibit where the other fallen fallen, fallen, withered faces. You see the gentleman smug, even in death, zip into his sort of his plinth, followed by Dr. Legume, the imposing face of.

of Gricon appears on his pedestal. You see Pip the gnome, and then you start to see others that you had not known the results of their battle. Mad Mantis, the Mad Mantis, the contact juggling clown mystique, Hilda, the Sea Witch, gunk, the nasty little toad man. No.

He's gunk, he's gunk, he's gunk, and now he's dead. The precocious urchin called Pockets, the fedora capped detective magic, and the last two, bringing up the rear of the fallen competitors. Wait, sorry, one last, quick question, just because we'll never talk about this again.

The Fedora Captain Detective Magic, can you tell me where the capitals are in that sentence? Detective Magic is his name. Detective Magic was the next to last wizard I came up with. Detective Magic is his name, Detective Magic. His game is Detect Magic, and he's Detective Magic. The Fedore is just...

Guys, I want you to understand, truly, truly, I really mean this. I made a... I made a bunch of wizards. And sometimes you guys ran into those wizards and sometimes you didn't. At one point, you rolled a dice to see who your new friend wizard would be. And you got Scorpo. You could have gotten Detective Magic.

And the course of this entire season could have been. No, we're just trying to figure out how the Fedora plays into it. There are people who are maintaining wikis about this show. Bless you, by the way. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. History thanks you. I just wanted them to know Fedora capped Detective Magic.

He had a fedora. But it's not his full title. His only name is Detective Magic. His full name was not Fedorca. And he's wearing a fedora. I like to give a little bit of flavor for these guys as I bury them. His name was Detective Magic and he wore a fedora. I'm sorry to hang such a bright lantern on that.

That says so much though. That is the most educational garment you could put on someone though. And it's kind of putting a hat on a hat. The last two to join the memorial, Hell Gramma, you actually recognize them from an encounter you had during the trial of abjuration here. You see the clean-shaven, bald human man, and the blue and red spandex-wearing superhero, both known as the spider, leaving only the Thrykeen the spider as the sole inheritor of that name. He walks into the foyer, and as you all gather here, it feels

after this sort of most recent calling, like, pretty barren. There are only 12. of the original 64 aspirants, 12 wizards here in this room who are kind of peering around at the survivors, sizing them up. Rictus, U. Hell, Hell, Gramut, Loravith, Scorpos made his way through. Hippocrates. Pranklin the orangutang did come through. I believe he's the one who defeated Detective Magic, sliding doors. When Hell Grama walks in, Pranklin tugs on Rictus's jacket and points to Hell Grameet, And Rick just kind of shakes his head in disbelief and then hands $100 to Franklin.

Like, yeah. Franklin Nantes, pocket set. You see Formaggio Bucatini walk in with his tall, suspiciously wiggly chef's hat. Hacy Jane has survived her trial. Burger Man. Tommy Falcon surfs in on his floating board and, of course, a stitched up duber sweet. leaf. He's the only 12

remaining aspirants. But I think it's the 12 that everyone expected. Like from the beginning, I remember episode one, there were people making brackets, and those are the 12 that I think everybody predicted.

You see the octave members who were outside walk in and take their places over these silver pools. The rest of them kind of appear and float up over their various bowls. Rictus, You are able to see, like, now you know the identity of, like, most of these octave members. You see one floating, wearing a very, very dark velvet robe and a sort of golden mask that is sort of round and bulbous with, like, two small black eye holes cut out for it.

Just like looking around at the remaining sort of members of the octave here, you are able to kind of deduce, like, that is the, that is the necromancer of the. group. You make your way in, you size up the crowd, and Coxie says, Aspirants, congratulations. You have each bested your rivals and claimed victory in the trial of conjuration. Your winnings will be distributed to you if you've not received them already. As all of you selected, your dueling partners personally, you'll all receive gold tier rewards. And we have reshuffled the residences accordingly, leaving 12 deluxe suites for you to occupy as you await the coming trials.

Did you have a question, Loravith, because you were sort of grumbling and making sort of moaning sounds? I'm just saying, don't feel much like a victory. Oh, okay. I'm, well, do you need to talk about it with someone? Is there grief counseling? Oh, sorry. Yes, I need to talk about it.

I thought you would be excited, knowing how sort of competitive I am. It's just we've had to say goodbye to a lot of fine, fine people. Yes, it is, these trials are inconceivably difficult on the mind and the body and spirit, but these are the tests that we must conduct in order to ensure that only the worthiest, to become members of the octave. Yes, hell, Gramond. I see you raising one of your thoughts. I feel bad, too.

Okay, yes. I feel very... Oh, I feel bad. The bug, please do not be... Please do not buy into the bug man's machinations. Machinations. You're even giving the semblance of emotions causing him to produce a crackling noise.

I am a turmoil of emotion. I just found out I'm engaged. So, you're what? What? I've got a fiancé. I have, yeah. Let me guess. And she lives in Canada, right?

I assumed when you said engaged, you meant in a protracted debate on truth social. No, no, no. I've got a fiancé. Mm-hmm. Sure. I wanted to share with you two guys, but you were given money that one guy

and you were just grumbling. Listen. Okay, this is getting away from us. Eyes and ears. Eyes and ears here, please. You all have made it to, what, the quarterfinals, I suppose, of this competition. There are but three trials that stand between you and your final victory in this conclave.

The trial of illusion, a trial of necromancy, and the trial of enchantment. They are what await you? will not occur in the order I just said, and we from this point on will not be letting you know the trial that awaits you until the morning that these trials are administered. So, I suggest you all

spend your day of rest, preparing yourselves for anything. As always, and this has been recently pretty relevant, we have some rules that remain in force. Do not attack one another, or any of us, Rick Diels.

Do not remove your grimire, and do not approach the crystallarium. There has been some pushing at the borders of these rules, and I will tell you now, you all have come way too far to be eliminated for doing just such a foolish mistake. So please rest tonight, enjoy your day off tomorrow, spend it wisely, getting ready for the final three trials,

and we'll be thinking about you guys. We'll leave a light on for you. And they sink into their basins and vanish into the ether. Okay, it is your day of rest, your day off. I'm going to have you guys level up to level six, which we can handle between episodes, if you would like, unless you want to do it right now. I ought to do it down, Griffin. I'm so excited.

Okay. Well, yeah, go ahead. Bump yourselves up. Yeah, it doesn't look like there's anything. Oh, wait, I have undead thralls. Ooh. Holy shit, really? Yeah.

At six level, you add the animate dead spell to your spellbook if it's not there already. You can animate the dead now. I like that for you, actually. Yeah. I do have sculpt spells, though, at six level. Ooh, what's that too? You can create pockets of relative safety within the effects of your evocations. When you cast an evocation spell that affects other creatures that you see,

you could choose a number of them equal to one plus the spells level the chosen creatures automatically succeed on their saving throws against the spells. Oh, that's great. Bubble of safety. I like that. Defensive, that goes in well with the narrative of our game.

I can make that work. Cool. I'm going to have to study mine. I have, I get self-improvement biomancy. Whoa. Yeah, sure. Biomancy. What is Biomancy?

Sixth level school of biomancy. Biomancy, you can perform minor surgery on your body improving yourself in a very literal sense. You can increase your jumping. Great, great. And fibros springs where you can triple your jumping distance. You get an extra appendage where you get an extra tail or an extra arm. What? You get detachable hand.

I feel like that just picks up books at Jen Con and just like starts reading. Firefly skin, owl. eyes. You can exude slime. Your body is covered in scales. Spider sense? I can have spidey sense. Talon. One of your hands is replaced with a wicked giant hawks talon? I mean, it sounds dope, man. It's, it's, it's, is it made up, though, is the question on everybody's mind? I am looking at home brew Helenea's Guide to Monster Hunting. Is that what I'm saying? It's not It's not homebrew. Dad was in Scotland in some cafe and he saw this like Xerox set of rules.

He picked it up. Brought a home. He said, yep, this is in it now. It says you get the keyblade. It says you get the keyblade. I don't know. Keyblade. Travis, where did you find that?

Well, I found that on world anvil.com. Worldanvill.com where it says homebrew, Heliginia's guide to monster hunting. Wizard. Yeah. Hellenia's guide to monster hunting Lizard School of Biomancy. I just don't think it's, I just don't think we can,

I just don't think it's a real thing, my dad. Yeah, but Griffin, he's been playing as a biomancer since day one. Yeah, but you can't decide now that a biomancer's not real if he's been biomancing this whole time. Or else, what's he been doing? Yeah, he's been biomancing the stone this entire time. So if I click on your character sheet,

And I look at wizard subclass. Is it going to say that your wizard subclass? Well, okay. Are you on my sheet? I am. We have transcripts. We can see if the word biomancer has ever been spoken before on this show. If you go, if you look at wizard, it says core wizard traits, spellcasting, ritual

adept, arcane recovery, scholar, wizard subclass, biomancy savant. I guess I can't argue with the super precedent here. You are a, you are a Thrykeen, I think it's okay. Don't make me regret this. Don't make me regret this. You know I will. I know I will too. It is not one of the eight schools of magic that have been sort of stressed here on the octave.

I understand, but this is not magic. It's a feature. It's a feature. Yeah, yes, yeah, yes. Okay, it's your day off. Who would like to spend their time first? Rick does maybe we should save yours for the last thing? Mostly to give me time to think about how to...

Okay, start with me and hell graham. Okay. No, no, stop from the beginning. Biomancy. Explain. Well, I get to do surgery on myself. I guess I have to be Dr. Well, you know, I killed a doctor, so I assume I become a doctor.

Isn't that the way it works? Is you sort of a bug? Doctor. I will... In devil, man, I'm a respect to the coat. I'm trying to treat you with some monocum of respect. Oh, good. It's about time.

You're a professional now. Professional man in a career that I can respect. What should I go with? A third leg, scales, firefly skin. To me, Bugman. Bugman. Yes. Don't say third leg to me again.

I'm sorry. I appreciate it. I didn't mean to shame you. I'm sorry. So what are your options? I can jump farther. You can choose now. I can attach another leg, but seven just seems, you know.

A little greedy. Yeah. I can have a detachable hand. I can have firefly skin, which means I can cast a light cantrip at will. It gets exhausting. I can have our eyes. It doesn't cost anything, but truly, does it not cost anything? Every time I do a can trip, I feel a little bit tired afterwards.

Slime, I can exude slime, I can have scales. Spider sense. Think about that for a minute. Wow. I can have a talent. They're particularly adept. I feel like I've gotten the upper end on spiders. I can have a T.L.

You told me not to say that. Sorry? You told me not say third leg again. I think a reverse. And oh, oh, oh, trimorphism, which sounds even nastier. You can cast the enlarge reduce mailworms. I'm going to slowly start to walk backwards until I can turn and walk away. Oh, I think I'm going to go with the grow or shrink.

I love that idea. So you are selecting trimorphism as yourself? I don't know yet. I don't know. Okay. I want to give it some thought. All right. Great scene.

Literally just reciting the features that were just discussed. Hey, listen, it's enough that he showed interest in poor hellgramman who has felt very neglected by him. He wants to be his friend. A matter of fact, I'd like you to be my best man. I'm not there anymore if you'll remember. canonically have left the room. Orbit? Perfect.

Okay. Then Rick, this will be my best man. I would like to check up on Duber if I can't see how he's healing out. Okay. You make your way to his sort of deluxe suite over in the residences area. The Dube Cave. The Dube Cave. As you come and knock on the door, a much smaller sort of door

inside the door opens up and you see him poke his head out kind of nervously. And he says, oh, Loravith, thank goodness you're here. What are you doing out of bed? You knocked on the door and I came to answer your call? Yes, how are you? Not great, not great, I think. He shuts his little door and opens the big door to let you in. Would you like a settee or a pool of my sweet?

leaf pipe. Oh, yes, I suppose. Yes. I'm trying a pipe. I brought you. I made these, well, not unlike coffees,

sort of a ground sugar that I cooked on a stove. It used to help me from mother when I was injured. He pops him in his mouth, gives him a,

it gives him a suckle as he packs a pipe for you and he looks up at you and he smiles. He says, this is quite good. I had no idea that you could create. Are these like magically conjured? These sweets are excellent.

No, it's really more of a preservation tool. A way of keeping sugar that will last longer. Well, thank you. And here, as long as we're sort of exchanging favors. And he hands you a, a freshly packed pipe. Give me, if you're hitting that

thing, give me a constitution saving. Have you no? Give me a constitution saving throw, please. Is it the first time that you have let me smoke on this show or what, Griff? All right, what's my, is it constitution? Yes, yes.

God, I'll be going to one. I would do anything. I'd do anything, please. I can't because I got plus five, but 13 plus 518. Yeah, it's quite good. Good stuff. He looks up at you, sort of impressed.

He says, I assume because of your stature that you would not have a difficult time with it. Not many outside of the hill folk can withstand a good sweet leaf strain. But I cannot believe I'm still here, sir, and I am a bit lost without. Randolph, and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your, the security that you have provided me so far, sir. Even though I do kind of question whether or not you're keeping me around is sort of a, what's the word, a goat for when we reach this. Greatest of all time?

I think that's a bit much, Huber. A sort of final sacrifice, a sort of easy last step to the finish line. I'm... Well, Duba, is there, is there a, difference? I mean, the way this contest is structured, supposedly, one of us has to be the veteran, so I'm not sure of the answers to your question either, doper. You were both in the situation. Why are you helping me still, sir? I know that Randolph promised you favors in exchange, but he is long since gone. I don't know why you are, you. You're not, you

are still showing me this kindness when eventually one of the two of us must perish. Duba! Give me another one. Give me another one. Yeah, sure. Constitution's saving there for me, please. 11 plus 5. 16.

Nice. A head he rip, sir. Thank you. Thank you, Duba. Uh, Duba. Uh, dupor, I am a large man and, uh, someone that many would consider a threatening presence. If I appear to have a very visible weakness, like, say you, for example, people are more confused about me. They don't know quite what to think. They don't know quite what to make of me much like yourself.

Yes, Duba does seem fair? Yeah. I'm... I'm here against some of the most powerful wizards in the world, and I am not one of the most powerful wizards in the world. If I, if that is true, then I must be something else. Something which surprises even me. Right now, Duba, for your benefit, that is a father. Oh, yes.

Sorry. Thirteen. They're getting progressively worse. You just feel this slipping away from you a little bit with each passing. Toge. I had a port. Yes, sir. I'm waiting.

I know that sometimes... Let me... No. Sometimes when the sweet leaf does make us go on a journey. 19 plus 5. 24. You're back. That was a better one.

Sometimes you get over the top of the throat. You know what I mean? Yes, sir. We call those ticklers. We call those ticklers in the hills. Hill ticklers. Oh, it's just good sportsmanship, do, but you've got a big target on your back. Just a little...

I'm just trying to help out, make things a little more even. I don't know where that leads me, but it helps me to sleep at night. Fair? I understand, sir. I do. I just, I don't want to be a weight hanging around your ankles. I don't know how to fight. I don't know how... Do you want me to get your...

Do you want me to get a big rock to smash your head in? No, sir, of course not. Well, then go to sleep, Duma, and do your best to kill me tomorrow. Uh, he smiles and nods. He says, I think I understand, sir. I thank you for the toffee. You are welcome to... Oh, no, you got greedy, sir.

Yeah, you should lay down here on the couch, sir. and not operate any heavy machinery for... Alert! Alert! The pantry is well stocked with funions and munchums, which I brought from my home. You may enjoy them at your sleep. Okay.

Randolph! Oh, yeah. He's here, do boy, I can see him. I'm doing my best, Randolph. He's such a hard boy to love. You see Randolph in the mists on the scene, looking down at you and he gives you a big thumbs up and retreats upwards back to heaven you are you are you are unconscious you are fucking fully laid out at this you are lucid

dreaming I rolled a five of my religion check you experience as a sort of conversion I suppose in this in this lucid state and we'll we'll circle back to that rictus you awake in the next morning there is a small gold card sitting in front of your doorstep, and it is sort of an etching of the statue of death that you have seen now a couple of times down inside of the mausoleum in the graveyard, and you see written underneath it, it says third bell, and you wait for the appointed time of the third bell and do you answer the the summons? I assume that you will since you sort of question.

I asked for it. You make your way down the marble stairs of the, the mausoleum, making your way down a spiral staircase until you reach this long bridge crossing over an endless black abyss down here beneath the graveyard. At the edge of this bridge, there's a small sort of circular island where you can see that statue, again, of a very sort of archetypical angel of death. And from behind it, as you enter, you see this gold-masked wizard, sort of very ethereally kind of float in front of the statue and rise before you. Before I go in, cast protection from good and everything. from evil and good on myself.

Okay. Remind me what that does? A lot of stuff, but basically one willing creature he touches protected against creatures that are aberrations, celestial, elementals, feasts, or undead. The protection creatures of those types have disadvantage on attack rolls against the target,

and the target can't be possessed by or gain the charmed or frightened conditions from them. the last time Rickus was Oh no I mean This was the spell that Was meant to solve this kind of

This this this puzzle back in the trial of Abjuration so it makes absolute sense to cast it now Yeah Okay you are you are protected As you enter into the mausoleum You know that this is not going to Turn out like last time when I think you had to spit in Hasty Jane's eye

Or something like that And break his own foot And break his own ankle. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Rickus has really been through it. As you approach, I mean, you see this wizard of the octave float in front of the statue and then just kind of like gesture forward. He has these long, slender, very, very sallow-skinned fingers.

He outstretches them as if to say, like, go on. Is it slender man, Griffin? Because if it's slender man, you have to tell me. Or it's entrapment. It's slenderment. It's slenderment. Linderman. Okay. Yeah, Rictus approaches. Okay. He doesn't react as you approach. He is waiting for you to sort of make the first move here. Greetings. And he bows respectfully.

Okay. He sort of nods his head in a very, very, like about as small as a bow as you can possibly give in return. I'm Rectus Raven with the fourth, a necromancer, like yourself. And I have like three questions, if I may. Sir, mad a person? Seeing you kind of like struggling to identify him, he holds out a hand again and just extends four fingers like that. I'm the fourth. Is that what you're saying? No.

He shakes his head. There is a breeze, a stiff breeze from below coming out from the void, from far below you. In the sort of echoing of that breeze as it shoots upward, you hear words kind of form in the wind that says, you may call us for. Okay. That was cool.

That was very cool. I don't know where to start. First, let's start with just like the crystal with the time spell. Can I claim it? I defeated him in single combat, and as the person, like, I was able to withstand it multiple times. And it seems like from his reactions that that was not something he was used to. So it seems like I would be able to wield it better than anyone on this island. And as the only person who practices magic,

that deals with death, it seems like I would also be able to handle magic that deals with time. Another breeze blows up from below, and it says, This power is uniquely treacherous. Are you certain you wish to wield it? It is not the worst thing. to have this world be rid of it. Yes. As soon as you say that, he extends his hand and from it, the stone that was sort of in the center of the grimoire of the gentleman drops down to the ground in front of you with a clink.

You hear a voice from below in the wind say, I believe you had two other questions. Yes. what has the octave done when you established the veil you separated death from this world you disrupted the natural order but not like in a cool

like necromancy way but like in a bad way there's a long pause and then the wind blows up and says Rick Disravenwood, the fourth we assure you, what we did was both absolutely necessary to prevent our extinction and also done in a very cool necromancy way. Yeah, I should have assumed that part. Your last query?

What? What is wrong with me? There is another long pause. And give me a, God, give me an insight check. That's a 19 plus 2. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Okay. You are tapped into this wizard on kind of a whole other wavelength.

And it is not quite anything you have felt before. You are not sure if this is coming from, from four or if it's just kind of like something you are putting down yourself. But even from behind this mask, even as sort of like ethereal as he is, he sort of swoops down low to come close to you. And as the breeze kind of comes up from below and you hear his whispered voice, you feel what you could only describe as a type of of pride or affection, but not without some level of malice behind it. You hear him respond, absolutely nothing. And in the blink of an eye, he vanishes.

Rick, this dance for a second, looks at his hands, where his right hand that, you know, black, Purple energy is just glowing. And his left hand, the green healing light is very faint. Yeah. And he's trying harder to get it to go, and he is just barely there. And he extinguishes both of them and picks up the time crystal and places it on his grim war. Give me a wisdom saving throw. Oh, the end of the good.

Good rolls, Griffin. That's a two plus five, a seven. Oh, man, what a bad time to get it, right? You never get that kind of roll when it's like, I sample the smell of the bread. You know what I mean? Like, you never, it's never then. That was not a great role to roll that on, Trevi. Do you want me to make some more jokes about what a bad situation this is to give me more time to go? If I'm about to be possessed, I did cast a spell. You feel a hand claw at your at your mind desperately as you put this crystal in. You feel the barrier that you have kind of erected around yourself activate and attempt to fend off whatever this sort of attack is.

But it doesn't feel quite like when this statue tried to take over your mind, like when you came down here in the first place. This feels like something entirely different. Because you cast protection from good and evil, I will give you an opportunity here to either remove the stone or attempt to thwart whatever this sort of psychic attack is. and maybe succeed or maybe not. Rickus grits his teeth and then screams as he leaves the stone in place and rolls at 12 plus 5, 17. You scream and as you do a swarm of bats that was nesting on the ceiling above are disrupted, you see those bats begin to swirl around you as your mind is under attack with a 17 wisdom saving throw. The attack that is happening is not from some outside force.

It is literally like your mind is being overwritten. You are trying to hold on to who you are. you're trying to hold on to your memories as the memories of the gentleman enter your own mind. This is something that you've experienced a couple of times as you have slotted in these new spellstones that you've gotten. This one is, again, on a whole other level. It is not just you are remembering things. It is the gentleman is trying to take over your body and supplant your memories with his own in this way. with a 17 wisdom-saving throw, you are really struggling to hold on to who you are, to your identity. And after a few kind of agonizing moments, all of the bats surrounding you in your sort of immediate vicinity freeze in place.

You feel yourself immediately drained of nearly all the kind of remaining remaining. magical reserves that you have in your body and you feel the gentleman in anguish sort of vanish into the background of your mind as you survive this takeover and after a few more moments the freezing spell stops the bats fly up and out of the mausoleum and you collapse to the ground unconscious. Maximum Fun A Worker Owned Network of Artist-owned Shows, supported directly by you.