The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone Royale: Episode 4

Episode Date: July 17, 2025

The Trial of Abjuration, Part IIIThe fireball continues to hurtle towards the island as the wizards scramble to collect keys and spells before reaching the ziggurat – but is there even more danger awaiting them at the top?Royale Theme: “Wizard Disco” by Louie Zong: https://louiezong.bandcamp.com/album/wizard-discoOriginal Music by Griffin McElroyAdditional Music in this Episode: "Simple Song" by Jar of Flies: https://jaroffliesofficial.bandcamp.com/; "Pure" by Jahzzar:  http://www.betterwithmusic.com/; "Blato" by Shay Brahem x Fachhochschule Dortmund: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/shay-braheem/contact; and "Lurking in the Shadows" by Scott Holmes Music: https://scottholmesmusic.com/.Immigrant Defenders Law Center: https://www.immdef.org/ Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Previously on Taz Royale. Yeah, I had to break my foot to get it, but I got it. Go ahead and make an acrobatics check for me. I want you to beat a 15 in order to get through these waters safely. How about a six? No, that actually weirdly doesn't do it. I'm going to cast burning hands. Yeah, give that dragon a taste of still medicine.

You snatch this stone out of the liquid. And through the windows, you can see the trees near you. Russell as the Titan reappears. Welcome back to the Adventure Zone. We are deep in the midst of our second of the eight wizardly trials of the conclave. The sort of clock interface hovering above the ziggurat shows there's only like a 15 minutes left before the great fireball in the sky descends. The three of you have had very. levels of success in securing the keys you need to reach the ziggurat before the fireball

falls. We're just going to pick right back up with Rickus Ravenwood the fourth, the first in our initiative order. Hi, Tram. Griffin, is it too early to use my summon? Is it too early to use your summit? Has your limit gauge? Has your limit gauge charge? You're right. Yeah, I'm only at like 60%. Yeah, I think about that. You had just unsuccessfully attempted to get through. You through this waterfall to find this shining treasure within that you were great, great, great, great, or you could say I successfully failed at it. You failed. And fell in the water where you were pulled up by a young man wearing a big plush looking

sweater and headphones who whispered to you in a very, like, convincing voice that you should give him your key. He is casting his special spell on you. And that special spell is suggestion. You make a wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, it pursues the course of action described to you to the best of your ability. The number you are looking to beat is 13. Okay.

And this is technically a charm spell, which I believe you have advantage on. Yes, I do. Okay. So roll twice, trying to beat a third. 13 on a wisdom saving throw. I had the map up. I don't like to roll through the map. Oh, but I work so hard on the map.

No, I like to look at the map. I'm looking at the map, but I want to have a second thing up. Okay, you said wisdom saving throw? Yep, with advantage, beating a 13. Wow, okay. 13 on the money. And there's a 19. Okay, amazing.

You definitely feel this guy sort of reaching into your mind. I think that maybe this guy chose the worst imaginable target for this for this ruse because you just sort of put this evil entity underground in its place that was way better at this than he is. And so you are unmoved by this, by this action. He still kind of has you by the wrist. What do you do? Yeah, I'm sorry, man, but I'm not going to do that. I just, I broke my own foot to get this one. So like, I'm going to hold him. I'm going to hold on to it and stuff. But I can't, I'll help you find your own key if you want.

Shit. What's your name? He pulls you up onto shore. And he whispers, um, called whisper. Whisper, okay, yeah, that'll be easy to remember. I don't even need like a demonic device or anything. That's sort of the only way I talk is by, yeah. Should I whisper?

You don't have to. Oh, okay. Great. Actually, I wouldn't be able to hear you. He points to his headphones. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm going to help you find a key if you want.

I've already got mine. He kind of squints his eyes at you as if he is checking you over to tell if you're trying to screw him over in the way that he just tried to screw you over. I think make a persuasion check here. Okay. It's maybe weird to have to persuade somebody to help them, but I think that it is so weird that you, your response to being conned. Oh, that is a failure.

That is a one. It hovered on 19, you know? He says, nice try. I wasn't born yesterday. I'll find my own key. Okay. And he takes off to the south towards the rows of houses down in the residences, desperately, desperately searching for a key.

You look around, those icons over the Ziggurat show that there's a lot. only like one or two gold keys remaining. Most of the other keys have been picked off. You get the sense that this guy's going to have kind of a tough time at this point. And just looking around, like the wizards who don't have these like floating key icons over their heads are getting pretty fucking panicked.

And running around. Just like knocking over potted plants looking under them and just lifting rocks up off the ground one by one. Making their own keys out of soap. You do see, you actually see, A dwarf who is, he's found like a little patch of grass by where you are on the west side of the falls here. He is like on the side of the mountain. And he is like digging earth out to try to make like a hole to hide in, hoping that that will be sufficient to keep him from getting.

People are kind of freaked out and understandably so. But you have about 15 minutes here and you have your key. You cannot be attacked for it unless you're in the red zone around the ziggurat. So as long as you don't go in there, you're fine. You can see from your position, there are some people camped out in that red zone waiting for people to try to fucking step through. So you get the sense that it's not going to be a lock. Yeah, with Whisper out of there, I'm going to take another run at climbing up into the falls. Okay.

I think I can maybe move a little more carefully. Okay. A little more slowly now, take my time. For sure. Go ahead and make a, what did we say last time? Acrobatics or athletics. Your choice. I'm going to choose acrobatics, and like I said, I'm moving slowly.

I will reduce the DC because this is your second shot at it. I think you probably have a better approach. Right on the money, baby. Yeah. Okay. Walking a little bit more carefully this time, you are able to sidle sort of across this very, very narrow gap, pressing hard up against the rock as the falls just sort of hammered down behind you.

You get the sense that if you had really gotten in there, it would have been pretty uncomfortable being pounded by this waterfall. But you're able to reach this alcove behind the falls where there is a plinth set up. And on the plinth is a crystal, not unlike the one that is set into your gauntlet, into your grim war. What do you do? Well, I mean, that's why I came up here. So I grab it. Okay. And I eat it.

No, no, no, no. That was a different thing. That was a different arc. That was a different arc, yeah. I grabbed it, I put it in another slot in my grim war. Yeah. I should have picked a different word. My glove.

Grim war is a great word. Cool. I do like it. All right, you slot it into your grim war, and this is Rictus' first new power, right? Yep. So you have this extremely disorienting. experience where you are suddenly subject to memories that are not your own. They are the memories of what looks like an acolyte or a priest. It's hard to kind of like tell exactly what's

going on, but it's definitely some sort of monastic kind of order. And you see an invasion happen. The sky turns dark outside of this abbey and demons pour out and begin to assault the church. And this wizard raises their hands and a warding circle goes around the inhabitants of this abbey. And as you snap back to reality, oh, there goes rabbit. I think we did that like even in the last episode. Oh, boy. You realize that with these memories, you have gotten a new power. You have a second spell. You can now also cast protection from evil and good.

That is your new spell. One of our more judgmental. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Also non-committal. Yeah. Yeah, what about the just like the horrible, like just the middle? You know, the evil?

of neutrality. To me, a little bit scarier is apathy. Yeah. Protection from eggshell. Father Gary,

protect me from apathy, brother. Yeah. You know? Maybe we should all pray for that. Maybe we should all just pray more down.

But I just don't care. Yeah. Okay. With this spell, you feel like your kind of natural talent for warding off

you know, mental manipulation spells is like dramatically enhanced when the source of that thing is, you know, celestial or aberrant or, you know, demonic in nature. Like, for instance, the skeleton statue that tried to take over your mind in the... Okay, I want to go back there then and make fun of it. It's too late. You already beat him. You beat him to heart.

You broke the sequence break, speed run. Rickus Ravenwood, the fourth speed strats. Yeah. Let's hop over to Loravith. Loravith. You have seized the golden key from the icy dragon that you thoroughly destroyed with a melting blow. Are you leaving at the mine? Yeah, I'm done with the mine.

I did what I meant to do here. I'm all set. Great. As you step outside, you can see the two surviving elemental rangers cleared out. from your position sort of like on this plateau in the middle of the mountain you get a great glimpse of the entirety of the octave ziggurat island you can see just anything you want to from your position you see this great purple crystal building up to the north this huge wide path of woods surrounding the western border of the island there's a lake with this intricate

glass lily building in the middle of it there is an arena there's all kinds of stuff you can also see this display over the ziggarot showing that there is maybe 15 minutes left

and not many keys left and you can see the people sort of camped out in the middle waiting for people to try and get through to the entrance Griffin can I ask a clarifying question real quick I know it's not but it's just occurred to me I've had it in my head this whole time that like the doors or whatever that we would use the keys for

are not currently accessible. But could we go there at any time? Anytime, yeah. There seems to be a, I will say. Is there a deadline though? If I don't do it before 15, is that a good problem? If you don't get in the ziggurat before the fireball falls, you will be destroyed.

Oh, no, no, no. I'll be in the ziggaroff trust. There is not a, the doors are open, right? The hesitants here, Trav, and, I mean, I think you can see this too for sure. Loraveth is like there's also people, you can see a lot of people with those key icons over their heads just outside the border of the Zagra.

There's people running D, right? There's people who decided that they were going to be on defense. And there's lots and lots of people. You get the sense that though keys have been seized, not that many people have actually gone in the Ziggarot because people are waiting for other people to go first to get killed by the people running defense so that they can go in unperturbed.

But so far nobody's kind of... Are there any animals up here? Are there any animals up on this? I mean, burps, burbs, for sure, birds all over. Big birds, little burbs? I was just looking for someone to talk to. You talk to animals? No, just like, talk out.

I just don't have anybody to tell what I'm thinking or talk about my feelings. You know what? Just as you Justin think that, it's so crazy. A wizard climbs up over the edge of the mountain plateau. No shit. Okay, cool. And it is, it's going to be, let me see, which one is it going to be?

Who do you want it to be, Juse? I'll tell you this, I'll send you, I'll send you the Google Doc. Is it a number? Can I just choose a number? Can I just choose a number? Yeah, sure. Choose a number between. 37. Okay, sure.

Very, very quickly, up the side of the mountain, you see what appears to be a ninja wearing this very detailed blue armor. they have these like spikes of ice coming up off of their forearms. They hop up on top of the mountain and you see this, this icy ninja look at you and then look at the cave and say, you did it already? Yes, yes. There's no spoilers in there. Remaining them. I'm afraid.

Shit. He starts immediately looking out over the vista looking for a key. He seems kind of panicked. Listen. You, uh, look at me, yes? You can see me. You, the thought of taking my key wouldn't cross your mind, right? I mean, if I understand the rules correctly, I cannot, or I will be punished.

Well, excellent. Excellent. So, uh, I'm going to go down and have a fuckabout in the eggs. Would you like to come along? Perhaps there'll be a key there for you. You think that in the eggs? I have no idea. I have my key.

I'm not that concerned about it. But what I'm saying is, I'm going to go have a fuck about in the eggs. If you'd like to toy me, perhaps you'll find a key. What's your name? I'm called Absolute Zero. Hmm. Fascinating. Can we just call him, Kelvin?

You want to go have a fuck about in the eggs with me? Zero. Perhaps we'll find a key for you. Make a persuasion check. If you want to just fucking chill with Sub-Zero here, I mean, absolute zero here. I think that he should do a percent. I'm offering to help him. Yeah.

No, for sure. But he also... I'm offering to let him come on my fuckabout. Yeah, but so do... Okay, it's a seven, so don't come. With a seven. So no, so no, never mind. I can tell from your express.

You know what? Absolutely zero. I bid you the very best, but I'm going to go. I'll fuck about it in the eggs. No, I'll go. I'll go. If there's nothing up here, I'll go.

Yeah. Cool. He starts climbing down the mountain to head towards the eggs. And you do the same, assume? Yeah. Okay. You are able to find an easy enough path down. You are a mountain man. I'm not going to make you roll to climb down. I actually do roll. That's my secret. I just sonic all the way down. Yeah, you turned into a little man ball and you zoop down. Oh, he's a Gauron.

You and... That's a better pull. You and absolute zero roll up to the eggs. There are still rolling. There is a, it's like a, they're in a row in a sort of quarter circle around the ziggurat lined up against this sort of circular pathway going all the way around the building. And as you approach, you can see there are eight of these little tiny dome shaped, like bigger, bigger than a pup tent. But that's vaguely the shape of them. They would be big enough for you to go inside without having to, you. you know, crouch down or kneel. I would like to start by investigating the surface. Of the eggs?

Yeah. Okay. I want to figure out what they're made of. Okay. Give me an investigation check. Oh, a six. Hmm. Egg?

Is there a door? There is. There's a small arched door in each egg. You also notice that they are numbered one through eight. Zero! Uh, yeah, what is it? Do you want to open one of these doors? Uh, perhaps it'll be a key.

I, I don't want, what if it's a trap, and then the trap lasts for longer than 50? Oh, that could be fatal for you, Zero, but you know what will be fatal? Not finding a key, yes? Okay, fine. Um, all right. Yeah, you're right. What's your lucky number, zero? I mean, zero, but that's not like one of the options.

An option, isn't it? Maybe three. How does three feel? He looks at three. He says, yeah, okay, I guess so. Yeah, three is as good as any, I guess. I'll catch you on the outside

unless I get out way before you, in which case I'm just going to make a run for the ziggurat. Good luck. Zero, if you should die, may I have your gym? What are you talking about? I'm winking. I'm winking. Okay.

I'm winking. Zero. I'll be taking it anyway. Hmm? That's... All right, man. Door zero. We're running out of time. Yeah, we really are. He climbs inside of the door.

And as he goes into the door... I watch behind him to see what I can see inside, thank you. It disappears. The door disappears immediately. And now he is just inside of this egg. The door disappears. So what do I see? When he...

So now's just an opening? I just want to see inside, Griffin. What's inside? You see egg... Like yoke and shit? I feel like my bad investigation role is still haunting me, Griffin. I'm still definitely casting a shadow. No, I mean, you see, you see, you do not see anything inside.

It appears to just be a white egg. Just say it's an egg. Just a egg, but as you go... And the door disappears? Okay, I press my ear to the egg. Okay. Give me a perception check, please. It's a natural...

Holy shit. You can hear the baby chicken side pecking away. I cannot see the egg. I cannot feel the egg. But as God is my witness, I will heal this egg. You hear... You hear... Not with a 20, I know.

A voice speaking. With a 20, you are able to tell that... Have you talked to your... gauntlet yet. Hmm. I don't remember. I don't think, I don't know if you have. You hear a pleasant, uh, man's voice, uh, speaking.

And you hear, uh, absolute zero, uh, sort of answering in return. Um, you just kind of make out sort of, uh, you know, peanuts teacher style, uh, the, the timbre of their voices, but not exactly what they're saying. And then you hear what sounds like, um, a wave, like a wave, like a, a, ocean wave and then you hear like the sounds of different wildlife and you hear absolute zero go whoa um and that is what you hear within the egg um what do you do lord ofith i don't know i already got a key i'm gonna wait another 30 seconds to have six okay then we're gonna jump over to hell graven it I don't know. I got a key. I don't see any reason for me to be a hero right now.

The funniest imaginable outcome of this is Absolution Zero rolls out like, what, how was your egg? I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, man. Okay, hellgram it. Back to you. You have just seized a gemstone from the bottom of this acid-filled barrel at the bottom of this tall tower, just as you hear the tell. tale signs of the invisible titan outside returning from its pocket dimension where you kind of scared it off to. What do you do? I'm going to slam that crystal into my grimroix. Okay. As you do so, you receive a memory from beyond. It is not one of your own.

In this memory, you are a human man, which, you know, is weird enough already, not being in your insectoid kind of form in this memory. And he is a very sort of like wispy, tiny-looking dude. And you see him climb on top of a platform in the middle of a town and open his mouth. And as he does so, this shrill piercing siren comes out to alarm the town as a horde of monsters approaches, giving them time to prepare for the assault at hand. And as you come back from your reverie, you realize that this power that this man had is now your own. You now have the spell alarm. You set alarm against unwanted intrusion, choose a door, window, or area within

range and until the spell ends an alarm alerts you whenever a tiny or larger creature touches or enters the warded area. You can designate creatures that don't set off the alarm and you can choose whether the alarm is mental or audible. Also, as you come back from your memory, you realize that someone else has come into this bottom floor of the tower. It is a dude with very sharp features, very awkward looking, almost a unibrow. He's got like this ill-fitting gray suit that is too small for him. And he also is like picking some leaves and twigs out of his hair. And as you see that, I think you realize that you've seen this wizard before. He was just grabbed and launched from the tower by the invisible titan and appears to have a surrogens.

survived the encounter. And he looks at you and says, Oh, dear. This is uncomfortable. Yes, yes. Yes, it is. How do we resolve this? Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I have an idea. I have an idea. Okay. And he takes off sprint up the stairs. Wait, wait for me. No? No. All right, you take off up the stairs.

This tower is about seven stories tall with this winding staircase leading up the entire span of it. You are not going to be able to reach the top with sort of a single action here. But if your plan is to try to gain as much ground as you possibly can, you know, before the, you know, Titan figures out what's going on or before this guy can catch up to you, that is certainly within your power to do so. I would need an athletics check if you're just like straight running, unless you have some other sort of wily skiing up your side. I was thinking leaps and bounds. Leaps and bounds. Is there a way I could use acrobatics?

There is, not for just running up a flight of stairs. Okay, all right. So, I mean, you're not going to fail and, like, fall down the stairs. This is a question of, like, how fast you are, basically. Right. So go ahead and give me that athletics check first. Okay. That's a 10.

Okay. Yeah, with a 10, you take off, you catch this guy by surprise, and he is going to start running right behind you. I'm going to roll for him. Just keep it honest. We'll see. We'll see. He has a negative 1 also to athletics, just like you. So this will be fair.

That is a 13. Okay, with a 13, he is able to kind of catch up to you. And you guys are basically on the same step. give me a perception check please there it is and that is a 12 with a 12 you

it's like a shadow passes by the window that you were that's just sort of to the side of the step that you were just scaling but it is not a like fully opaque shadow and that is enough to tell you

that you, the, the Titan is just sort of outside where this window is. Okay. Is this the same window through which it grabbed this poor wizard? You are a bit lower than the window that this wizard apparently made it to before. I think he comes to a, he comes to a dead stop on the stairs. Is he ahead of me? He was about the same level as you. So he has stopped sensing that there's a thing outside of the window.

What do you do? I'm going to try to blend in using the carapace, the chameleon carapus. Does that just give you advantage on all stealth checks? Stealth checks, yes. Because that seems insane. Well, you agree. I mean, the rest of his life has spent as a bug, Griffin. So, I mean, there's checks and balances.

Yeah. Okay, giving you advantage on... Like, he's not going to have an easy time, like, getting into the clubs or whatever. So the exact language is you get advantage on dexterity, stealth checks made to hide. So I think the limitation here is, like, if you're hiding in place, you can use this. But if you are, like, trying to sneak by something, it would not be as effective. Okay. If you...

So what is your end goal here, I guess? I want to get past that window. and leave Twiggy there to behind to distract the Titan. I think with that in mind then, if you are trying to, if you are trying to move while being sneaky to try to get even more ground in front of this guy, it's just going to be a regular stealth check. Okay. All right. Stealth check.

And that would be, come on, give me something good for it. 16. Yeah. Okay. With a 16, this shadow passes, and you changed the color of your carapace to match sort of the stone of the stairs. And this wizard looks kind of alarmed as you continue moving. You hear him say, no, don't. You've got to stop moving.

He'll kill us both. You survived before, right? So, you know, take your best shot. Seriously, I'm sure he won't see you. I mean, and even if he does, if he throws you, you survive the last time. You'll survive again. Give me a persuasion. Give me a persuasion check.

I'm going to say it's a pretty high check. I want to see, like, maybe an 18 or higher. No, 13. No. He shakes his head. He says, I have a special falling power, but I can only use it a few times a day. The shadow leaves It passes away from the window

He says Wait, wait, can we just talk about this Before we take off in a race It seems dangerous for us to just push a head like this We can probably figure out another way To settle who gets the key All right, what do you have a mind? What's your name?

I am Helgrammett Hi, hi, Helgramit I'm talking And you would be... I'm Dr. Legume. Dr. Legume. I thought my name was bad. Griffin, you son of a bitch.

It's Mr. Bean, but it's Dr. Legume. Dr. Legume... My flexible friend. He says... There's another key in the tower. There's a copper key about halfway up. So we can go up

and we'll play rock pace. for scissors and decide which one of us gets the gold and which one of us gets the copper's only fair. That does sound fair, but no, I don't think so. And he takes up running again. Oh, God. He is going to run in pursuit. You have made it about a third of the way up the tower. Let's get another athletics check here.

God, seven. Okay, that is a 10. He is able to get a lead on you. You hit a step that has eroded somewhat, and you trip, and he is able to run in front. Give me just one more perception check for me. Okay. That's a 10. God, my rolls suck.

What are these things you guys keep rolling with the two and the zero? row. That's a 20. When they're consecutive, it is a 20. You, neither of you actually clock it this time. You see just too late a shadow pass over a window in front of the two of you. And you both kind of come to a halt. He's like three or four steps ahead of you as you hear the Titan roar from outside.

and then you see some of the stonework surrounding this window crumble inside, and you can just see the faint traces of a fist and an arm as the Titan reaches inside of the tower to grab you. To grab who? To grab you both. He is in front of you. He is closer to the hand. So I guess to grab Dr. Lagume, if that is where his hand falls. All right, Rictus.

Yes. I'm looking at the map. Yeah. And it seems like the best coverage for a clandestine approach to the Ziggy is through the eggs. So I'm going to make my way to the back of the eggs to plan my approach. Okay. Cool. We are having our first encounter here. You make your way towards the eggs. I'm not going to describe all the stuff again because you, Travis, got to hear it. And now Rictus sees all this stuff. The third egg appears to be sealed for some reason, not sure why.

You can see that there is a very imposing looking Goliath wizard staring at these eggs intently, trying to decide what to do with them. Sorry, to be clear, I think he's listening. Yeah, he's got his ear pressed up against the... Oh, okay, great. I got a 20, so I'm not going to stop doing that. Yeah, no, you're going to hear the fullness of this egg experience. And he has a gold key kind of insignia over his head, right?

He does, as do you. And I'll say in this moment, you two definitely catch each other's eye. Thank you for reminding me about the gold key symbol hovering just overhead. You can also see, because of those symbols, there are some people, there's at least three people in the lawn in this red area surrounding the ziggurat who are camped out. And they are just going to keep a fucking beady-eyed watch on the two of you. because they can tell you you have what they want. Hi. Hey.

Hi. How's it going? Congratulations on your key. And the same congratulations to you. It's quite formidable. Are you waiting for the egg? I'm sure. I was having a fuck about it.

Okay. I was happy. And my friend, uh, well, friend. Another competitor slipped in here and I was rather waiting to see who's going to die. Oh, okay. Did he? Not as yet. Okay. At least I haven't heard the

sirens. Okay. My name's Richtus. Riktus Ravenwood the fourth air to the Breathless Field, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, I'm Loraveth. Loraveth?

Loravith. Lovith's dream wandererogonjom. Okay. Can I... I... This is... Your seem very... Wait, one moment.

Okay. I'm going to take another listen to the egg. Oh my God. Wow. Life is so beautiful. I stop listening. I tell you, he's never going to have any time now. Okay.

The next time we're free to wander around, I think I might come to the eggs and have more than a fuck about. A fuck around? I perhaps even a fuck with. Ooh. The mood strikes. I sent my nindra friend in here I see if he would

I was trying to assist him in a rather lateral way and it seems like it's working for him unless he is of course tragically killed yeah I was thinking since we already both have gold keys and stuff should we like

work together to get to the Ziggra maybe get some other people with keys to like team up to get to the Zygrop safely. You mean a collaboration? Yeah. I love that. Yes.

What should we call ourselves? Uh, the survivors. Okay. The key masters. Sure. The key masters will watch each other and they'll have each other's backs of a lone fighting unit protecting their keyless friend, the ninja absolute zero. Well, I mean,

I guess if he wants to make his way to the Zygra, but I don't think if he doesn't have a key yet. The door reappears on the side of the egg. It's a boy. You see absolute zero climb out. And he has lowered his mask. And you can see he is just like grinning ear to ear, tears stained face. He has a copper key insignia over his head.

Oh, well, there's no shame in that. Zero? Oh my God. You guys. No, no, don't do spoilers. I'm going to have a fuck with later. It seems like he had a pretty good experience. Wow.

It's just that I saw all of it, life, the connections in it. No, again, I'm going to have a fuck about later with the actual. He asked for no spoilers, man. Thank you. It's all connected. It's all connected. I'd rather, I, zero. I believe I asked nicely.

Okay, fine. Who's this? You found another gold key guy. That's cool. Yeah, I'm Rickus. You guys, hey. This is Richtus. The three of us are the founding members of the key masters.

Oh, okay. Does it matter that I'm like in the Copper Key Club, I guess? No, all are working. You'll have a lower part of the hierarchy, but you're still a member on it. You won't have many of the same privileges should we ever develop some sort of clubhouse. Perhaps you won't have a good. Access level. Yeah, access levels.

Okay. So are you guys going to go in these eggs or fucking what? Next time. Yeah, there's like eight minutes left or something. For now, let's go. Let's the three of us, Jenny. I think I'm actually going to. He takes a look at all the eggs.

I'm going to take a pop into egg one maybe just to kind of see. Like, I liked three so much that I would love to actually just get a taste of one. Well, I. Because what if the eggs are gone after this? trial? Like, what if the eggs are just a trial thing and then we can't do them any other times? Zero, I don't think that's a good idea, my friend. I think you might end up getting destroyed by the gigantic fireball. I can get in and out no problem. I've got to check out egg one. You can make a persuasion check here if you'd like to try and convince Absolution zero to not go in egg one. Yeah,

and the reason I am going to do that is because I am about to leave. No question. Okay. And I'd rather he not use up all the eggs? You know what I mean? You don't know how many charges. I don't know how many. As far as I know, three is cash. In this economy, you can't let him use up all the eggs. So yeah, I am going to persuade him to come with us just as like, I guess also the added muscle for the key master. Let's, uh, you're trying to beat a 13 persuasion check here to get him. No, that was perception. Ignore that five.

Wow. You know what he did. It was perception. 18. 18. Absolutely. With an 18, he looks inside of one. Fine.

Right. Yeah. Shit. We can come back and do like a keymaster's team building exercise with like the eggs and you trust falls and stuff. You're right. Okay. Cool. Keymasters.

Great. So what's the plan? What's the plan here? We're going to make a run for it. I can shoot ice knives out of my hands. Quick, quick sort of summary. I could shoot ice knives out of my hands. Oh, okay.

That's going to come in handy. I think if someone tries to like, try. and kill us when we're in the red zone. What's your guys sort of whole deals? I have like spectral hands, one that comes out of my left that hurts people, one that comes out of my right that heals people, and it's kind of a loot and exchange, a closed circuit. Very, very cool. And what's your...

Oh, I also have a ward against good and evil. That's a really complicated, your power is that you have magic hands. Yeah, a lot of like esoteric judgment calls. Yeah, cool. And what about you? Laura, I'm the one who brought you to the eggs. Okay. So the three of us will team together.

Cool. The key masters. All right. And we'll barrel our way through. Zero, you should stay to the rear ISO. I want to scope around Ditto and see if there's anybody else camped out with keys floating above their heads. Like waiting. Yeah, go ahead and make a perception check, I guess, if you're just looking around to see, to get a lay of the land a little bit here.

That's a seven. Okay. I want to look again, hard. No. With a seven, you, you, I mean, people are scattered kind of all over. You can see, with a seven, you can see that there is a, at least one body laying in the middle of the, of the red lawns surrounding the ziggarot. So someone has already perished in their attempt to make it to the, to the door. You can see there's like a cluster of people on the other side of the, on the other side of the ziggarot, you can see like a hand. You can see like a handful of folks over by the, in front of the gardens. There's like rows of benches in front of a small platform. You think it's maybe a bit of like an outdoor lecture hall. And you can see that there are at least a couple of gold keys and a couple silver keys floating over some wizard's heads. And they seem to be like sort of gathered up in a circle, maybe trying to come up with a plan. You can also see that

one of those gold key guys, like you can't make out a lot of details about that. these people except one of them is a giant tarantula so that one is pretty easy to see noticeable noticeable yes yeah um and one last clarifying question about the ziggurat are there multiple entryways or is there like one place we're trying to get to um there is a great question uh the ziggarot has one main entrance you can see it on the front here it has sort of three different ramps uh to the west, east, and south that are leading up to this front entrance. And then there are doors you can see

on the higher levels of the ziggurat, but it is a like 20, 30 foot climb, a pretty sheer smooth stone. So you get the sense that that would be quite difficult, but, you know, would be another route. Fittingly, most of the kind of defenses, I think you guys have figured out. are surrounding these front ramps up to the entrance.

Well, I'm not really like a combat guy or whatever, but should we, like, go to the front and see if we can get more key masters and, like, just, you know, full frontal assault? Or what do you think? I'm so glad that ended with assault. Yeah. Listen, I kind of stumbled.

mentally halfway through saying it. I feel that the more of us that can work together, the better we are running rather short on time for the accruachment. Where are we at? There's about eight minutes left. I know you're pulling this out of your ass. You're not tricking me.

No, I have like a special, I have a special hourglass. I know you're just, no, I have a special hourglass made of ebony and... It's embarrassing enough to ask my brother what pretend time is. Seven minutes left now because you're being like this. You know, now, and can I say seven minutes, eight minutes would have been long enough for you to do an egg. I don't want to do an egg. I already told you, I'm not, try not to use up your eggs. I'm going to try not to rush through your incredible edible eggs.

Just saying, absolutely zero. It's such a good time of the egg. You wanted to go in another one. So it must be something good. I bet he's having the time of his life. Where are we at now, time? Why? Well, you ran out.

The fireball killed you all. No. Seven, seven minutes. Let's, I say we head back to the front and see if anyone wants to join the burliest boys in the hole. game. I'm not that burly, but yeah, let's do that. Round up for me. The key masters begin walking. I'm guessing around the red lawn of the ziggurat, not through it, to where the other key havers are strategizing in this outdoor lecture hall.

And we're going to hop back over to Hell Gramet. Hell, Gramet, you are about a third of the way up the tower as the invisible arm of the Titan smashes through a window on the side of the tower. You know what? You and Dr. Leggium make dexterity saving throws. He's going to have disadvantage, and the loser is going to get targeted. His lowest is a 13. How about a natural 20?

Holy shit, man. There it was. Yeah, natural 20 will absolutely do it. You see him stop and the scene kind of stands still as some of the stonework from the window like rattles down the stairs and falls the, you know, two or three floors down to the ground level. And as that happens, Dr. Legume looks back at you sort of nervously and then, uh, you. It says, I think it's gone. I think we're,

Ra! Wait, wait, wait, wait. Do I have a time to speak to him before he's tossed? Um, yes. You have time to... No, he does it. I heard you go rah. He is not yeated immediately.

He is kind of like seized from the stairs. And now you see him sort of floating over the, just like the void, uh, falling down to the, uh, where he would fall down if he was released by this Titan. He is floating and seems to be in great discomfort. Thank you. Let us form an alliance. I can help you.

I will save you. But we have to form an alliance. We'll call ourselves the Kiwanas. We'll be the Kiwanas. All right. All right. Eat both of them. I will save you.

Squish dad with Mr. Bean. I will save you if you promise I can have the gold key and you'll take the copper key. Um, give me, give me a persuasion check, I guess. Yeah, well, okay, you know what? There's no atheist in foxholes, right? That's what they say. And I don't think that that's true or makes sense, but I don't think you're going to need to persuade Dr. Legume here to let you, he says,

guys, help me. He's squishing me. All right. Uh, and so, uh, hell grummit casts, uh, infestation on the hand of the Titan. Okay, so it is going to... Now, let me ask you something. Yeah. Which side of the tower is it reaching in from?

It is reaching in from the outside. Yeah, well, yeah, I don't know if that was what you were asking. North, southeast, or west? North. Okay. So infestation, the hand has to make a Constitution saving throw. Yes, yes. Or takes 1D6 poison damage.

Yes, but I'm assuming this is sort of like what you are, what you did last time where it is sort of a distraction thing or are you just trying to. Nope, no, no. Okay. All right. I do have a plan. I will do this on the table. This thing is a giant. And so it has a plus four to its con save. Okay.

So it's 13 plus 417, which I do imagine is going to succeed. Dr. Legume says, Okay, so what's the plan? And he is yanked out the window as your bugs fail to find purchase on the arm of this Titan. As you look out the window, you see Dr. Lagume go soaring through the air, and then you see just as he is about to disappear again into the woods crashing down with tremendous force. You see just an explosion of a lugee. usury feathers just sort of cascade off of him and his descent slows dramatically.

And he yells, That was the last time I can do that. And Dr. Legume is gone. Oh, Graham, it hull's ass up the tower. Okay, give me an athletics check again, please. Damn, two. All right, it's not going to go great. You start rushing up the tower.

And I think that it's, it's maybe a mental thing more than anything because you know that this Titan is outside and you have elected to just like try and rush, knowing that you are sort of short, short on time here. You are able to reach sort of the halfway point of the tower where the stairs expand out into a little overhang, looking over the fall down the center of the tower. And sure enough, as Dr. Legume promised, sitting on a plinth on this small overhang is a copper key. With this athletics check, you are not fast enough to make a lot of progress before you hear the Titan stomp back over towards the tower. I'll need a perception check if you want to try and really triangulate his position. But you're about halfway up this tower. I think I will grab the copper key.

Okay. You grab the copper key as you do so. you see a faint copper key insignia appear over your head. And... So let me ask you this. This is a spiral staircase running along the edge of the tower, correct? The inside of the tower, yeah. The inside of the tower, correct?

Correct. Okay. Then... No, Gramet's going to try to jump to a lower level. Okay, very, very, very cool. This will be an acrobatics check. And you're jumping down, right? Mm-hmm.

Okay, you're basically trying to jump the width of the tower. It is not, it is obviously much, much taller than it is wide. It is a tower. And so this will not be the most difficult, the most difficult check. I will need a, if you want to do it without any consequence, I'm looking for a 13 or higher. You will clear it with a slightly lower roll, but we will see how that goes. Sure. How about a dirty 20? A dirty 20 absolutely gets it. With a dirty 20, I will also say, you lost track of this Titan. You were not really keeping a great eye on it. And so you were on this little

overhang on the north side of the tower. As you jump to land on the stairs, like, you know, one story lower on the south side of the tower. You see the window that was just next to this overhang also explode outward and something grab that plinth and lift it up into the sky and yank it out of the tower. It is very, very good that you moved. So I'm 20 feet up, right? You are, yeah, about 20 feet up. And there's a window where I am?

There is, yes. There are windows every like five feet or so. So you can be next to one. I am going to jump out the window into the tree. and hope I can keep from killing myself. Cool. So, 1D6 bludging damage for every 10 feet a creature falls. You are next to a pretty big thicket of trees, right?

They reach up about, they reach up about 10 feet. So if you want to try to make an acrobatics check again, to try to land among the branches of these trees, then that is absolutely fine. Depending on your success, will determine how much damage you take from the fall, from the trees, from whatever. Yeah.

Go. 12. Okay. Describe to me what it looks like. Hellgram, it looks up, sees that invisible hand grabbing the plinth, takes a look at how far down he has to go down the stairs. Doesn't think that's going to work.

So he looks out the window, sees the top of the trees, and just kind of leaps out of the window yelling, Or the screech! Okay. You leap from the tower and you're not a bug with like wings, right? Well, they're not functional. Okay, cool. I think your wings, whatever non-functional wings you have kind of reflexively are like, oh, come on, nope, nope, nope, okay. You land among the upper boughs of these tall pine trees and desperately kind of, you know,

splay out your limbs and your tail trying to just like grab anything you can to slow your descent, but instead you kind of just like, one hits you right in the stomach and knocks all the wind out you and you kind of loop around it and then fall and you hit several more branches. You do land in a... Yeah. You do land in a fairly sort of like soft patch of grass underneath these trees, but you are going to take some bludgeoning damage just from being whacked by all of these pines. You take three points of bludgeoning damage. Okay.

Were you hurt, were you, you were you, you were injured from the acid already. I sure was, yeah. All right, cool. You are, you are beat to shit. Like you, you had a healing potion earlier, obviously, but like your garments or whatever at this point have been slashed and, and acid burned and, you know, whipped with tree branches. But you do manage to get to your feet, wounded, but still, still with it. and you can see the tree branches or the trees on the opposite edge of the tower on the sort of north side of the tower begin to bend and break as the Titan figures out that his quarry has escaped. What do you do?

I'm going to, to quote Creedon's Clearwater, I'm going to run through the jungle. I'm heading for the Ziggurat, baby. Okay. Then you run through the trees back towards the sort of observance. observation platform where you were revived. As you get here, you can see that just next to the observation platform, there's this outdoor lecture hall where several other wizards have gathered. And these wizards appear to be strategizing to figure out a plan of attack as some other

latecomers rush up to join this position. Loravith and Rictus and Absolute Zero arrive here around the same time as well. At this point there's about there's eight of you all in total

with keys of varying qualities and you all reach this platform and as you do so a bell chimes and the clock hanging over the ziggarot begins to flash red as it displays that there are five minutes remaining before the fireball descends.

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