The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Spirit Breakers - Live in San Jose!

Episode Date: May 11, 2023

Live from San Jose, the Spirit Breakers return! Sarah Winchester hires the ghost hunters JonDee, Matilda, Gooper, and Clint McElroy the Planeswalking Janitor to investigate a mystery in her expansive but uncomplete house. As the team make their way through the twin dining rooms and haunted ladders, the mystery deepens, but one thing is certain: this is spooky as shit. With special guest Aabria Iyengar: https://twitter.com/quiddie We’re playing The Beast by Grant Howitt and Chris Taylor: https://rowanrookanddecard.com/product/the-beast/ Theme Music by Paul Sabourin. Additional music in this episode: "Satin Danger" by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.com/. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Hello. My name is Travis McRoy and I'll be your GM for the evening. The year, 1900, the place, San Jose. The feeling, spooky as shit. Sarah Winchester sits in her sprawling yet incomplete manor house. That's right, I said uncomplete. Don't worry about it. She's crocheting or reading a book or whatever. There's electric lights or gaslight.

I'm not sure which, which is really appropriate if it's gaslight. She probably has a cat, because that feels right. Suddenly, a ghost appears in the room. Sarah looks at it nonplussed. Well, shit. This again, I've got enough of this. I guess it's time to call. The Spirit Breakers!

You know, I didn't know how I was going to feel about it on stage, Griffin. It's worse. What'd you say? This is going to make for a great show. Now they know it's Griffin. Yeah, Griffin can neither hear it nor speak. Welcome to our audio podcast. Oh, he's...

Put it in your mouth, coward. It's inside. You guys, there's a smell. There's a smell. Oh, I'm sorry, Abria, is the smell bad of it? out there. Don't look at me. People at home, Griffin is dressed as what his shirt says is Gooper.

Gooper. You know what? We're going to start with Griffin and get it out of the way. Griffin, tell us about your character. Yeah, I'm Gooper, y'all. Perfect. Can you tell us a little bit about Gooper's whole deal? You know, Slimer from Ghostbusters?

I'm aware. Okay. On the nosy is that he's signaling to me in our audio podcast. Man. Okay, now also, how much did the mask cost? I'm so glad you asked, Travis. It wasn't cheap, but for San Jose? No, money is no object. Now, here's what's also great. As I'm sure many of you know, we had to reschedule this. I know Griven bought that mask. It's been sitting in my closet for seven months, scaring the shit out of me every time I went into it. I hate it. It's bad. Also, joining us along with Grivens Mask Stink is Abria Ayngar.

Hello, Abria. Now, we failed to tell Abria. Hold on. No, no, no. I'm going to do it. Okay. Hey, so I've been a fan of the podcast for years, but I've never been to a live show, and I didn't know you motherfuckers dress up. So I have a desperate request. If anyone brought any, like, taco-like apparel, does someone have a hat to borrow?

Yeah, right there. Perfect. Thank you. Literally. Amanda and I, when Abria was like, I don't have a costume, Amanda and I were like, we can get you a taco hat. Hey, if anyone has any notes about costuming, just throw them on stage and I'll do my best.

Okay, Abria, tell us about your character. I'm playing Matilda, a mistrusted town witch in San Jose. Uh-huh. I love, by the way, I love that that is, we're playing, by the way, The Beast, which is a one-page RPG by Grim. Matt Howitt and Chris Taylor. Yeah.

You can find it on Drive-Thru R.B.G. That's where I got it, but it is very simple and very wonderful. But that is one of the backgrounds that I love. And I love that it's mistrusted town witch because it implies that there's a town witch in San Jose that everyone's like, oh yeah, go. There are several witches and I am not the A-tier witch. I want to know why are you mistrusted? I have a lot of unpopular opinions.

Oh, boy. about bullfrogs. Okay. And astronomy. And what? Astronomy. Astronomy. No, astrology.

The one that I... No, no, no. No? I don't believe... I'm saying it's flat, guys. I don't think there's a moon. I don't think there is one. I think that's fucking nothing.

I love that. It was a very bold witch position. Yeah. Negating the existence of the moon. It's not real. All right. Now, Dan, tell us about your character. This is Clint McRoy, by the way.

Oh, man. Thank you for asking me, Trav. It's so hot in here. I didn't bring any dice, guys. I got dice. Hold on. I am the perplexity. Do you need dice-griven?

Yeah. No, don't make him nod. No, please nod. It spreads the smell. Nod. Right now, Justin is. feeding dye into Gooper's mouth. Yeah, Goober's face is the dice tower.

I am the perplexing John D. John D. John D. John D. Jake. Yeah. Okay, go on. Nobody else had to spell their names. Well, you do, because you put it on your shirt, man. John D. is a psychic, pretending to be a fake psychic.

Who is in turn posing as a real psychic. Posing as a fake psychic. This is like if psych and the mentalist had a child, it would be John D. Yes. And, um... Excuse me, John D.

It's not John D. No, it's John D. Okay. It's not John D. No, that'd be weird. I'm taking off the fucking mask. No! No!

It was Griffin the whole time. Oh! We'll get back to... Oh, there we go. Okay, now Justin, tell me of your character. Oh, me? I'm Clint McElroy. Unreal.

I've walked the planes, and my newest shift with my team, I shift once every 20 days. I shift planes, and I have 20 days in order to help the plane that I'm in. And I'm on day 19, and I haven't helped this plane. Oh, boy. My team is getting pretty worried. I have a team. In the spin-off, I have a team. Yeah.

And they're in the clamp van. I have my tools. My mop cleaned to Ronstadt. And I call these my scryphocals. They're glasses that can see ghosts or whatever. Hey, Justin. This is me as your brother. I want you to know.

That is amazing channeling dad what he would name those things. I fucking love it so much. I've got chills. I'm going deep. I'm going deep. Yeah. Hey, man, don't go too far. Yeah, I know.

I'll give you the kick to come back if I need to. Yeah. Okay. If I start talking like Christopher Lloyd, just... You're already my favorite character in the show. Oh, yeah, I don't believe me. I thought you were going to say favorite son. Yeah.

I think that's been established. I've been gutting for that spot for a year and a half. Good luck. You have probably played more sports than the rest of us. Put together. Yeah. Yeah. I announced to her earlier this evening.

She's my new favorite. All right. I got a little pin of you. Yeah. All right. This has gone off the rails already. We're on minute nine. So, you enter the house of Sarah Winchester.

A Winchester house. Thank you, Paul. Ooh. And this is, I don't know if you guys know this. A real place. You can go to it now. It's next to a shoe carnival, I think. TM, TM.

No. We can't T.M. The Winchester house. Or shoe carnival, for that matter. And what were you trained to trademark, Matt? Next two? You know what T.M. means, right? He's trademarking that.

Travis McElagher. No. He's trademarking the idea of adjacency. The two are next to each other. That's a Clint McElroy idea. So you approach. You enter. Sarah Winchester welcomes you in.

Hello. Even me? Yeah. Sarah Winchester. Manchester sees that coming in through her front wall. Now, Griffin, I want you to know so far. We haven't discussed this off mic. Are you, you're a real ghost, right?

You're not just a man wearing a shirt that says Cooper and a mask. You have to know what I've seen so far. And now tell me what Sarah Winchester sees. Use your imagination. I can't. Are you familiar? Are you familiar of the phenomenon

of slimer from Ghostbusters? I've heard of him. A lot of the times on these shows, people kind of try to obfuscate the creative inspiration for their characters. By naming them something similar but not the same? No, by like doing other shit, but then it's like, oh, that's definitely, you know,

Jack Sparrow or whatever. I'm slimer from Ghostbusters, but with a different name. Okay. Justin's playing is dab. So what, where's the goddamn, You've hurt our brother. Look at him holding his literal sign. I'm technically not dad.

I'm Clint McAroy. I don't want to quibble, but... Wait a minute. Did the blood work come back? I sludge through the wall like a nasty fucking freak. And she says, oh, that's a wonderful special effect. Special effect? It's 1900.

What does that mean? Well, I'm very scientifically minded. Ghosts or manifestation. Listen, it's fun. Explain me. Well, you're clearly... I push my hand through his chest. Yes, illuminated swamp gas.

Are you seeing this? Wait, wait, wait, excuse me. Extremely handsome man. I've eaten a lot of laudanum today. I'd like this extremely handsome man to use his scribe bones. Hey, Dan, you have to let Justin be a different, and then you so that my show can move forward, which is a weird sentence that I got freaked out by halfway through.

Okay. Don't your goggles, see ghosts? Well, yeah, but we're just talking to a human being right now, and then we'll definitely look at the kids later. And we can all see this apparish. Maybe it shoots lasers at him. I haven't quite figured it out. It depends on how the show goes.

Hey, so, wait, hold on. So you're into science, huh? Oh, yeah. I find that really sexy. Man, that's me. Listen, I'm a happily widowed woman. Oh, well.

It gets no clipbacker. I didn't think you two could make the energy at your table worse than the energy at this one. Right? We're the normal table now. Justin's crying. Justin is crying human tears. I just hate goes so much.

I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm just thinking of it. about how they're stuck on earth and they have all this unfinished business. I find it really sad. It gets too worked up. Anyway, what's your, what kind of problem you have with ghosts?

Listen, I am a rich, widowed woman. Okay. And so a lot of rumors about me have spread around town. People don't like that so much. And listen, we all engage in seances. This is a fun party game. It's 1900.

Everyone does that. and cocaine. They are not party games. Seances? Seances are not party games. Seances are serious ways to commune with the choir invisible. I'm about to hire three of you.

That includes the ghost, my man. Yeah. So watch your ass. I'm looking right at him. Or am I? Are you? What does that mean? Fake psychic, real psychic.

Yeah, but you're looking at the. ghosts. Yeah. Did you just say that part out loud? Yes, as Clint McElroy. Oh, wait. I can't say it as Clint McElroy. No, you can.

It's a separate guy. Oh, God. Okay, anywho. So I have been, someone I believe is trying to terrorize me and believing that there are ghosts in my house, which obviously doesn't make any goddamn sense. So I need you guys to go through

and conclusively prove, well, yeah, no ghost in the house. Is there anyone else who lives in the house? Well, yeah. There's my handyman, my gardener, and my chauffeur, but they're like family to me. In fact, I've recently adopted them. Everyone, come in. This is what I like to call the Winchester Boys. Oh, God, Travis.

What's wrong? The show's off the air. You don't have to get off the year for a hundred years, Travis. They're not going to get on it. I googled 1900's workers, and this is just what came up. It's weird that the photography captured not gray scale for three. All right, man. Has, um, has, uh, these are, these are the Winchester boys.

This is, uh, over here. Uh, you will see, this is Sandy and Deacon. Okay. And Deacon's husband, casual. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, should be so happy you found the exact right crowd. Yeah. This joke doesn't work in many other rooms, I don't know.

I'm completely lost, but that's really helping the character, actually. So has Mr. Winchester been able to... Dead! What? He's dead. I said I'm a hammer of you? You hate to hear it, though. In your pride.

Hey, Justin, can I give you a quick note? No. You're actually, that was too effective. That was too good flirting. You need to crank. I think of the awkwardness like five percent. Okay, got it. Yeah.

No, you mean if it was dad? It's not dad, it's Clint McElroy. That's a different character. I flow towards Sarah Winchester and I say, Sarah. Yeah? It's me. Your late husband.

What happened to your accent? Oh. British. Go British. Sarah. No? Yeah, that's it. Sarah. me. You know that I can

see what you look like, right? You look nothing like my husband. When you're turned into a ghost, they change you. I thought you were Southern. When you turn into a ghost. No more like Georgia Southern. When you turn

into a ghost, they change you, Sarah. No more like fucking Travis. Enough of your improv games. Griffin, you It's so good, though. It was like playing with Fred Armisen.

It was amazing. I'm just fucking with you. You got any hot dogs? Yes, I have several hard dogs over there on the hot dog warmer. And you see, like, those spinning the wheel, you guys are rolling along? Every manor house at 1900

had a hot dog warmer. It's right next to the slushy machine. No! This is my world of imagination. It's a solid- slushy, Terene. You dip out the slushy. So, uh, boys,

uh, have you, uh, seen any ghosts? Uh, and Deacon seeps up. Yo. Yeah, we've seen ghosts. The ghosts have been everywhere. Right, Sandy. Sandy says up. Yeah.

Yeah, we, we've seen ghosts. The ghosts, yeah. Just to be clear, different ghosts. Right? Aren't you technically a poltergeist? I'm technically, I'm sewage. And Casual steps up. We've seen all kinds of ghosts.

Yeah, that's right. The ghosts have been everyone's different ghosts. Castle, you gotta enunciate. Yeah. It's a different ghost. No. All ghosts are ghosts. No, that's projecting.

It's been different ghosts. Yes. Perfect. All kinds of ghosts. I'd like to roll a dice. Oh, okay. To see if I can figure out. If we must.

Why these three are being so fucking weird right now. Can I help with this rule? Maybe you should just do it. Well, it's not Gooper's strong suit. Tell me exactly what you're looking for. Why are these three adult men being so fucking weird right now? What are your four skills? Okay.

So I roll it. Well, what are your skills as Gooper? Track, charm, heel, shoot. None of those. None of those. Okay. Roll 1D10. Can I help him?

No. I have to watch. Then you do it. We should look at them. Oh, it's bad. Hey, Griffin. That was scooby. You're starting to touch into like a gungan kind of thing.

I felt kind of Yoda. E. I was ball back off. You're right. All right. How many do I roll? Two. Perfect.

Ooh, yeah. Two nines, baby. Thank you. We tied. It's a hard. It's a hard one. So I rolled three. We got eight ten.

So we tied. So here's what I'll give you. They are clearly attempting to like not answer the question fully, right? But they're trying their best to like answer as best they can. But you don't know exactly what it is. That was nothing. They're hiding something. They're hiding something.

You don't know what. Yeah. What is their, what's their vibe about the actual ghost next to us having a conversation? So far everyone's been pretty chill about it. Hey, Griffin, roll 3D10. What is this? Just roll it? 12.

Okay. Yeah, everyone's pretty freaked out but trying to be cool. Oh, okay. Like Sarah Winchester, she's older. her freaked out is like, I don't know, I've seen some shit. Right. Right. But like the...

Worse than... Yeah. No, they're more freaked out by you. No, the mask that I'm pointing out on the other side. Oh, yeah, no. She's a little freaked out. They are scooting inch... Like, they're inching away from you.

That's the normal. That's what I've come to sort of expect. But now, let me say, how you've resented yourself so far, it's hard to tell if that's as... Not great. I did pretend to be their dad. Are you a ghost or are you just the worst? Yeah. So here is what I propose,

Sarah Winchester. This is me, Sarah Winchester again. Thanks for that. Okay. Just head up to the seance room. That's where most of it. It's mostly the science room they misspelled. Am I right?

These workers today. What are you talking? The seance room, but they misspelled it. It's the science room, but they misspelled it. Thank you very much, Lawton. Seance room. I thought it was really funny. Sarah. May I?

May you what? Wait, no stop. Call you Sarah. Is that That's my name? Don't wear it out. You're cool. I'm not that bad. I'm not you. I'm Clint McElroy and a character that is

a wholly owned trademark of Justin McElroy. Justin McRoy and the Adventures Incorporated. So you need to get the key to the seance room from my room, from my bedroom. That seems Oh, wait, hold on.

Hold on. Where's the key? Hey, I'll go get it. How about you don't go? It's all right. It's fine. I'll go. I'll dig through every drawer you have

until I find exactly what I need. Now, Justin, it is starting to border unliable. I'm liable to keep busting up over here if Justin keeps doing this great job. It's wild being the one not related to any of you, not catching this heat is crazy. Our dad's kind of a pervo. The dad, no.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, I mean, Clay Maceroy. McElroy. In my, if I may, in my interpretation. Grimitt's out of O'Fell-all. This says Goper now. Okay. Yes, the key to the seance room is in my bedroom. So, of course, you have to make your way through my sprawling and complicated manor house.

And listen, it wasn't supposed to be this sprawling, but workers today, and I went with the cheapest quote. You get what you get? Exactly. Thank you, and you don't bid your fit. But don't worry. Everyone, don't worry. I know that the Winchester Mystery House can be very confusing.

So I prepared. You call it? You call your home. No, this is Travis talking. This is Travis. You can see because I seemingly switch between voices. So I prepared a map for you. Great.

I knew it. Travis. I knew it. Okay, so Travis, what you presented here is it appears to be, yet again, the map from Clue. No. No. At the bottom, you will see it says an exact and perfect map of Winchester.

I think that says Mystery House. Winchester House, circa 1900. Perfect. An original design by Travis McHawry. Okay, just for the audio purposes, where the Clue logo should be, you previously erased it and wrote the toilet or whatever. And now you scratched out the toilet or whatever and I can't make it out.

The seance room. The seance room, okay. Now listen, also the map here, the Winchester House is so confusing. All of these rooms are linear, and I have that line here, so you don't even need to worry about the map, really. Okay.

You just, it's a fun sight. Who am I to fucking talk, though, right? I spent a lot of money on a timer mask I put on for four minutes. Before I had a heat time. stroke. We still have a second act. You're right. Griffin kept fiercely checking to see how many tickets him and sold for this show. Well, okay.

Well, we might clear it. I say, well, no key necessary for me. I'll just plurp up through the ceiling. I put a lot of lead in the walls. Oh, fuck. Yes. Oh, no. You had to say that faster. I was already splurping. Sorry. Why are you talking like me? No, this is just how

I sound. I'm an old. We're both kind of Bobcat Goldway. Yeah, and I'm smearing my makeup all over the place. You look fucking wild, yeah. Now, to be fair, you're not really that old. What? Oh, wait, sorry, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Okay, I don't like that. That's weird, Dad. Sorry. Okay, so. Apologies, apologies, apologies. Head on into the injury way. If you need help, just call out for my boys. My newly adopted son's the Wings.

Winchester boys. I don't remember what they look like. Could we see the picture again? One more time. Ah, fantastic. Okay, we need the map again now. Hey, can I get a little like ring check on the Winchester boys? A ring check?

Yeah. Are they available? I'm sorry. I straight out said. Is your dad and your brother the only one allowed to flirt with you? Deacon and Casual are married. Okay. But Sandy is single.

And a mess. I can fix him. Done. His girlfriend did recently die in a mysterious fire. What if that's why you're the mistrusted town witch is not because of your magical practices, but because you're just a little bit messy. Yeah.

Yeah, no, listen, her magic, spot on. Her choice in men, questionable. Fair. So what, I'm new to this plane. What do you all think should be our plan of attack? Well, here in the entryway, you have two direct options. You can take the ladder down to the basement or... Great.

Did you put the word ladder on there? Well, Paul did. Paul said, I'm afraid of getting confused, so he labeled the photos. That could be train tracks. That could be a transparent PNG of train tracks. You're right. You're right. That's okay. Or you could stay on the first floor and head to the kitchen.

Okay. Is there a picture of a kitchen? Well, not until you go there. I don't want to spoil it. Food happens. Okay, got it. Good. I don't want to spoil it.

Let us go to the kitchen. That's not what? Why do you think psychic is? You are a jerk. Whoa. Hey. How's that for psychic? That's not.

It's an observation about the present. It seems to me. that the ladder is uncontaminated by evil. Based on what? Hey, Dad, you can read it by rolling dice, but you don't get to decide what's evil or not. I do. All right.

I'm going to look at the ladder and see if it's evil. Okay, sorry. Sorry, yeah. If the ladder? Yes. Yes. If the ladder, look at it. Let him roll.

It looks like it's made of bones. That's wood. No, I'm the psychic here. Roll? I don't think he knows what a psychic does. I don't think he knows what the ladder is. Dionne Warwick, right? Dionne Warwick is not a ladder.

Because I know the way to San Jose. Thank you. No, absolutely not. That was not a table slap. Okay, Clinton, roll. To get one automatically. You are a psychic. You have back on it. Roll 3D 10.

All right, wait. There's a 50, a 20, and a 2. Nine. Seven. Nine. Nine. Thank you. Nine.

Nine is a nine. Got you, bud. Yeah, I roll a five, barely beating your three dice nine. No, you win. Yes, I knew I did. So, the ladder. And I knew I was going to. The ladder is evil because you're not evil.

Okay. But there is a spectral presence. Hey, you do a lot of these shows, right? Yeah. Do people usually spend that much time telling if, like, every inanimate object is good or bad? We kind of cut it in the edit. You cut it in the edit.

Oh, this is live. Yeah. There is a spectral presence on the ladder. Oh, then we need to go to the kitchen. Nice. What? After. Way to keep this breakneck pace going.

Clint McRey here's evil ladder and he just bounced right up it. Down it. He bounced up it. He somehow fell through the floor earlier and was downstairs. Okay, so he goes down it. Okay. You find yourself in the basement in the boiler room. By yourself?

Yeah, nobody followed me, I guess. All right, cool. The boiler. I mean, you guys can come, but we're just. standing looking at an evil ladder. I just went down the ladder. The boiler is fully going, smoking, doing the whole thing, and you see a spectral presence shoveling coal and wood into it. Ooh. A spectral... Okay, I'm going to use my scryphocals to see what I can discern about this beast. With a, let's call this, I'm hunting it, which is one of my skills. Hunting.

Okay. Or sorry, strike is actually, I guess, the skill I'd be using here. You're just going to fucking attack this thing? Wait, no, hold on. You're going to use your goggles to strike it? Sorry, investigate is the word I was looking for. Yeah. A big difference.

He said every word. Every other skill. If it's a mean ghost, I'm going to hit it with my mom. But if it's a good ghost, then we'll see. Let's be fair. He is playing like Clint McElroy. Honestly, it's uncanny. Yeah.

Okay. Jamann, roll. 2D10 plus 2. Okay. Six. Okay. Seven. Okay.

13. 15. I got a five. So you win. He seems to be pretty diligent about his job. He's whistling away. Okay. He's doing a little dance.

He's shoveling the stuff. Okay. Be calm, little front. It's me, Clint McElwell. Hey, how's it going over there? Sorry, I didn't mean to spook you. That's okay. I wasn't spook nary a bit.

Oh, that's good to hear. Hey, are you the only ghosts in the house? No! Are there bad ghosts? Well, I don't know about that. What do you mean? You mean about like the nature of man and whatnot? Yeah, well, I mean, are there evil ghosts that would harm people in the house?

Oh, I don't know nothing about that. I know my friends, Rufus, Janet. Okay. Me, sweaty Joe. Okay. That's cool. Is there another house that you would like to go to? I'm sorry, what?

Do you want to leave this house and go to a different house? No? Dang it. I found a purpose here. I'm just keeping the whole house where no one was manning the boiler. The sixth Mrs. Clint McElroy is upstairs, and she needs me to get rid of all the ghosts in the house. Now, I ain't never bothered.

I ain't neither bother her none. I know. I know, I know it sucks. She don't even know I'm here. It sucks. It sucks that people are like this, but sometimes they are. Oh, I hate it, but I do have to banish. I had to banish you.

I should wish you wouldn't. But if you're less, I understand. I got to banish you. I'm sorry. Then I guess you need to help me finish my unfinished business. Can I, wait, let me try something real quick. And I pick up Clean de Ronstadt and I strike the ghosts. What?

Okay, Justin roll 3D10. He's just doing his job. Just the innocent man. He's going to dry him off so he's not sweaty anymore. Okay, 6, 9, 1. So that's 16 plus 2, 18. Yeah, you slide through him, and he starts to fade away. And he goes, I just wanted one last day.

Oh. And he's gone now. No, he's dead. He was already dead. One down. Yeah. Hey, this is easy. Well, you're really cleaned up.

Jesus Christ. Yeah. That was good. Even Rachel, I just saw Rachel give a thumbs down. Like, our sound is employed by us. She just booed you from the wings. Bood me? I'm going to talk.

Okay, is that another ghost thing? Another ghost. So I'm going to talk to the mop. Hey, are you okay in there, pal? I'm doing a catch and release thing. I want to set you free next house I get to. And then we can dance. Yeah.

That sounds really nice, actually. So dance. We'll dance the night away, little ghost friend. Slow dance? As slow as you need it to be. Real slow. That sounds real good, the slower the better in Clement McRoy's book. You know me.

Yeah, I heard about you. You've heard the stories. We've all heard about you. Let's just say I make Sting look like an overconfident frat boy. You've been here for 19 days. The Riz is unreal. It's out of sight. Well, every universe has tantric sex sting.

It's too funny. Oh, you mean the universal sting! Whoa! You just threw a little horn on the wall. She just comes chiming in. Okay, so I... Somebody else do something. Yeah, that's one.

Are you heading back upstairs? I'm not doing anything. I banished the ghost. I'm going to the kitchen. with my two friends. Yes. You enter the kitchen. Does Sandy also come?

No? Well, she kind of enters. Hey, this is your imagination. Can you change that fucking answer from me? Let me frame it this way. Thanks. How do you ask him? Oh, I lean in stirring my slushy seductively.

From the terrain? From the terrain. Just top it off a little bit. but we're going to the kitchen. You want to be a part of it? I don't know. I've been burned before. My girlfriend was in a fire.

I hope she pulled through, okay? There was a kiln explosion. No, man. I think it was the devil. Wait, here, hold on. It was. Oh. He is going to.

Good. Yeah. Stick with us. We'll help. I'm losing the thread of this a little bit. You know what? Roll? Can I roll with heel?

No. I'm trying to fix him. Thank you. Griffin understands my art. Okay, yeah, 2D10. Thank you. 15. I rolled three.

Yeah, okay. It's fucking mine now. I'm adding him to my equipment. Can I, can I, can I, can I, can anything for you. Me and I hop into his arms. Perfect. I hope I take a lover on this adventure.

I'm glad you guys have been reading my emails to the company. We need hornier adventures. It's like I keep telling you guys. I only have one day left to this plane. I don't forget the last 19 days of my death. Oh, shit. All right. It's going.

just as I've written. Perfect. You make your way into the kitchen. At first. It's in here. There is a moderate amount of hot dogs. Okay. Not anymore.

Now, when we see slimy straight through to the bottom. Sucks, yeah, to see it. Sucks to see it. But I mean, like, is it a cycle? I think, yes. Yes. I think it sucks to see it because it makes you feel self-conscious about what happens inside of your own sort of human.

Oh, I see. Like, oh, man, that's rough stuff. The awareness is uncomfortable. The awareness of it is uncomfortable, yeah. It's not seeing your wieners. Am I rolling for anything? No. Okay, cool.

I just really want to, and I think we all do, drill down on Guber. Is there a ghost in here other than me? So, the fruit and the vegetables begin to move around. Oh. And approach, hey, what are you doing in here? I am. The vegetables say that?

Yeah. What I'm doing is pretty obvious. You're a disgusting monster. Hey, these aren't alive, are they? Not anymore. Oh. That may begin to dance around you in rhythmic patterns. Everybody is going to roll against being mesmerized.

I'm not there. That's right. I'm still downstairs. I'm still downstairs. Hold on. I'm going to start making my way up, but it's slow. Why? Why?

Do you want me up there? If you want me up there, I'll be up there. Yeah. Okay. Hey, everybody, what the fuck? No, you know what? Here's what. J-Man, I got a coin here.

I'm going to flip it. Heads, which is the skull, tails, which is the ship. Heads, you get there when the mesmerizing is happening. Okay. Tails, you arrive after the mesmerizing is happening. That's fair. That's fair.

That's a loud coin. Wow, Jesus. It scared me. That was hundreds of pounds. You're going to arrive after the messiric. Hey. Okay. Everybody rolled based on if you think you have a way to justify your character.

I'm fucked up. I'm no way. Okay. One? Yeah. No, just one. One? Psychic.

Yeah, you can roll three. Okay. I just rolled my dice into three other dice and forget which one. was my dice. But here's the thing, all of those dice are a good number, so I think... That's true.

That's not. That's a four. Did you just hit your nose on the microphone? Yes, I did. But I knew I was going to do that. Clant MacGuarded at John D. I'm going to roll a 13. Okay.

And I did. Wow. I guess the future and the present get kind of confusing. for you sometimes. Yeah. The burden of the gift. As you travel between planes,

I traveled between times. I'm Matthew McConaughey and Interstellar. Dad just watched that for the first time on the way here and he said talking about it a lot. Wait, so we're just all fine with the fact that you're like a planes walker. Yeah.

That's never been like a thing. Who am I to judge his journey? He's a ghost. He's the psychic. You're a witch. Where do you draw the fucking line? It's the thing that's so fair. It's, yeah, if you weren't aware,

dad would refuse to use character voices so often. We eventually had to insert Clint McElroy into the mythology of the podcast. So he's the one of us that is actually a character, and that happened so often that we had to put him in all the realities. So every reality does have one Clint McElroy who's... That's fair. The Plainswalker.

And I am the only one owned by Big Giant Head. Yeah, you're the only real... human IP that we've created. It's loosely based on you. I'll admit it. There's some... Oh, is it really? There's some similarities, but it's loose.

I tried to trademark Gooper, but a website owned it that is quite foul. Anywho, the vegetables... I rolled a seven. Yeah, the vegetables are dancing. The three of you are massed. You've joined the vegetable dance. Who knows how much time is fast?

Wait, who got Mesmer on? All three of you. How? What did they roll? I rolled 17 and you got a 13. Can I be watching? Not yet, hold on. Who knows how much time is fast?

And then you enter. Okay. And what you find, you find, I'm going to say one of them attempting to peel themselves like banana. I won't say which. Okay. One of them yelling, I am peas, IMPs, IMPs. I am peas. I won't say which.

And Griffin's a tomato. Okay. Wait, hold on. What is this boo? Sorry, Goober. Goober is a tomato. I was just thinking about, and this sucks, but if I was a VeggieTales character, it would not be too hard to turn me into a tomato man.

Is that Larry? You're right. No, that's Larry, the cucumber. Bob. Yeah, Bob is, anyway. Okay, so. Let's talk about Christ. Now, here's the thing.

Clint Magroy Plainswalker. Yeah. You have entered, and what you see is fruit sitting in bowls, vegetables, vegetables. sitting in bowls. Okay. And your compatriots, peeling themselves like a banana, yelling IMPs.

We're actually doing it, right? Yeah. What fruits and vegetables are there? What fruits and vegetables are there? Apples and onions. I pick them an apple and start eating it. Okay. And it screams.

No. It's just a regular apple. This is my world of imagination. Just helping. The, um... What a badass thing to say, Dad. This kicks out of it. Next time you're playing D&D with your friends and the DM says something,

say something else and then go, just helping. Elsebeth takes the blade and drives it into the dragon's heart. The dragon's fart, just helping. I fill up a glass from the cupboard and pour it to John D. Okay. Trying to wake him up. Roll 3D10 and roll 1D2. 10.

What's Sandy doing? That's a good point. Wait, roll for Sandy to save against the apples and onions. He doesn't. It would have been fucking embarrassing if he was the only one. But he also isn't fully in. He's just watching what you're doing and going, looks great. You're doing great, babe. This is good for me.

I rolled a two. I rolled a seven. Yeah, okay. So with three dice, you roll the seven, you win against his two. Yeah. So when you bore that water on him, John D, you're back. Oh, I don't get to peel to my peel day. I didn't say you were peeling.

You could have been the peas. I know I'm not appealing. Hey, wake those other two up. Aw. Thank you. I am peas. I am peas. Oh, I tap Matilla.

You're back awake, Dad. You're back ready. You're back away. Get it. I am. I know. Come to peace in a pod with me. I tap Matilda.

I tap Matilda on the shoulder gently and said, hey, I think you think your piece. Wake up, hey, wake up. You've only affirmed the thing I think. I don't. Wake up, you think you, wake up. Okay. Your piece.

Clay Macroy, Plains, Wacking, General, to roll 3D tens. 1D. What are you going to do if this role doesn't go good? Wow, actually, wait, you might be up. Oh, okay. I got a 10. Yeah.

And you go, Oh, I'm not peas. Oh. Don't railroad her, Travis. This is my character. You don't control me. You failed the role. You're not peas anymore.

You're not. You don't know how I feel. Peas beyond your own control. I won't tell you how you feel about being peas or not, but now you have the decision of if your bees or not. I'm doing a thousand yards stare thinking about the piece of being peas. Oh, yeah. Hey, can I tell you? It helped you deal with a lot of shows.

It did. You overcame a lot of psychic damage from being peas. We dragged you out of the P-Blivion to come back to reality. Okay. You were in Bevan, which is P-Heaven. Another website that, again, I would not recommend. I reach in my pocket and pull out a big handful of Wothers Originals and chuck them at the ghosts. I have a fucking name and it's on my shirt.

Actually, it says Gopur. Gooper. No, pole fixed it. That is not on their long. Gooper, gooper, gooper. I want to catch a word there on the other side. Okay, 3D10 and 1D10. 3D10. Nine.

Seven. Yeah, they pass right through you and you're like, tomato, tomato. I use charm. I use charm to snap it back. It fails automatically. Why? It automatically fails.

Just helping. It says in my... I got to respect the callback. I'm going to go over to Gooper and say, hey, bud. Hey. What if you weren't a tomato? Hmm. Well, God says that God?

The way he designed all the flowers in the field means he must care about us a great deal, don't you think? You sound obsceningly like Papa Tomatoes? I sound really good. That's a really good. Hey, can I just say? Recurring theme on my brother, my brother, me. Doing a voice when you're not thinking about it. Turns out a real.

Holy shit. I convert I'm peas again. Yeah. Actually, you roll 2D10 and you roll 2D10. Yeah, fuck yeah. Oh, 11. Tie. It's a tie.

You're peas again, but you don't think she's peas. Oh. Everybody wants a water buffalo. Oh, my gosh. It's bad. Mine is slowly. I've never felt such a little stadium in all. Okay.

How are you guys doing? John D. It looks like it's just the two of us left to fight the ghosts. Let's go fight some ghosts, my friend. All right. You two, you good? We're good. We're going to heaven when we die.

Right on. Right on. I love that. Where did you go this? last time. I don't know what you mean. You're too far gone. You can go.

We're not saving you. There's no way. Yeah. I really, I guess I could wake him up again. Now, give us like 15 minutes. We just need to get this out of our system. This is important. You two just come with me.

We're the ghost. We'll catch up with you when we're ready. Wait, I want to use the, I want to use the scryphocals to see if I detect a ghost in here. Okay. Roll 3D10. 2D10 plus 2. Oh, wow.

10, 12. Okay, yeah, I rolled the one. So when you put your scryphugals on, there's no ghost president what you see is floating in the air particles of something? Oh, we're just high as fuck then. Okay, cool. Oh, okay.

All right. So it looks like, so Clint picks up his mop and says, looks like I'm batting cleanup. And then he swings clean to Ronstadt through the particulate and sucks it up because it's a mom. Hey, you know what? There's eight minutes left in act one.

It works. Wow. I don't even have to roll for it. Yeah, you nailed that. Wow. You solved my drug puzzle. Awesome. Awesome.

That was your unfinished business was cleaning up. I stand real still for a second. see if I leaped the next plane? Nope. Okay. You guys are coming down slowly. My shoes can touch anything but themselves. And it's time to move on

to the dining room. So in the Winchester house, there are twin dining room. So we'll start with dining room one. Y'all haven't been? It's wild. Wait, I have a theory. Can we see twin dining room two? Yeah.

Excellent. Yeah, it's just a mirror image. of... Thank you for living up to my expectations. Interesting. There is something different about these two photos, and I cannot fit. It's like...

Highlights did not prepare you for this day. Come play with us, Danny. All right. What is... What kind of funny ghosts is exploding in this room? Nothing. Nothing? You know what?

I'm going to save this little time. I'll slip on my scryphocals to check for ghost particulate. Drugs. You're just an interplay or not. You put them on. There's nothing here. What you do see is there is some paperwork on the table recently.

No, yeah, recently signed. Oh. Oh, what is it? I'm going to investigate it. This isn't a challenge because this is just reading. And I think Clint McElroy, Blaine's walking the janitor, knows how to read. Eighteen different languages, including Cryborg, a dead dialect. that only I possess.

Anywho, you find some recently signed adoption paperwork. Adoption paperwork. Yes. Where Sarah Winchester has adopted the Winchester boys. Sandy and Deacon and Casual. Yes. Can you adopt a married couple? Well, she adopted Sandy and Deacon.

And Casual came along for the ride. It's an adopted-in-law. But again, you can. can adopt a fully adult married man. Yeah, I mean, if you sign all the paperwork. Okay. It's 1900. Yeah, that's true.

No rules just right. There's no way you have gotten through what you intended to get through in the first act of this show. You're doing pretty good. I read the papers. So what do I notice as I'm looking through these papers? Does anything jump out at me as interesting or relevant? It seems a fairly reason. I would hope so or else.

Why the fuck did he bring it up? in the first place. Okay, Griffin. You know, maybe I thought the bit of having the twin dining rooms was a good bit and we'd move on. But I don't know. So these papers are fairly recent. Like, the ink has recently dried, which I think you can figure out with your scryphocals. Okay.

Now he's a notary public. And what you can tell is that all of the writing about what is left to them, what they would get, everything is written in one handwriting. and then the signature from Sarah is a different handwriting. So she did not write this out. She was just the person who signed out. My signature doesn't look like anything else I write, so I'm not sure this is an issue. But Clint McRoy would know the difference.

Clint McElroyd noted handwriting experts. Sure. That was playing 778. Thank you. I think it was 1776. And I have had this congress. Okay, stop. Joke.

Can't. Can't do it. So somebody, this seems like something, and I hold it up to everybody else. Cool. You want me to hang on to this? Yeah, and then I put it inside, Cooper. Yeah, there I go.

I'll keep it next to this big bag of hamburgers. Hey, I'm holding Sandy's hand right now, and I just want to just give a little to his hand. Is there any ink on his fingers? Ooh. Dun, done. Yeah, you thought I was doing a dumb bit, but that I'm actually playing a bit. Roll?

Four. Just helping. No, I'm thinking about your background. Just helping. You can roll one D10 versus my one D10. Can I have one more D10 because I have watch? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. Thanks, everyone. 11. Oh, my nine. Yeah. There are some.

on his index finger and his thumb. On the same hand? Also, is he left or right-handed? You can't tell. No, he's the right-handed like a normal person. Travis. Coward. Okay.

I want to make pointed eye contact with Clint McElroy, not like the kind he's used to getting. Platonic eye contact. Not you. Welcome to Platonic Eye Contact. And I just gesture down at the hand I'm still holding. Is it ink? Clint McElroy or Clint McElroy?

No, Clint McElroy. You're John D. I nod at my head like, yes, ink. Is that ink on my two hands? Oh my God. And Sandy goes, yes, ink. Oh, okay, I guess we're just going to do that. Hey, did you do something with this paper?

I write a lot. my journal about my dreams and poetry. Damn it, he's got us. I felt like something. That was good job. Matilda felt like something, but I guess it's a big Bustuski. Oh, I'm just going to believe him? Yeah, well, hold on.

I thought I would be the one that was a little bit like... A little more, yeah. Hey, partner. Who are we talking to in this moment? Am I part? This is Sandy. I'm talking to Sandy. Yeah.

What kind of things do you write? Hikus. Do one. Yeah. About our love, about our blossoming relationships. Hit the, hit the cipher. Let me hear some hycunes off the dome. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Leaves, man, crunchy, yeah. What, one more time? Leaves, man, crunchy, yeah. Love that smell, bro. Huff it in. Step on them? Yes, sir. Are you the gardener?

Yeah. Okay, see, I thought it was a limerick And you would have started with... No, those are dirty. Oh, okay. Hey, uh, Guper, come with me. We're gonna go talk to Sarah about this. What did you just call me?

Gooper? Your name? Oh, okay. What's just heaven? I love Cooper. All right, Cooper. Yeah? Hey, you want some hamburgers?

I want to stride into where Sarah is and take the papers out of Gooper and slam them sloppy. under her desk. Yeah. And say, hey, who drew these papers up? The idea was it to adopt the Winchester. You walk out of the room back to where you enter the room. It takes us six and a half hours.

You exit in a different room than you came through. You are now in the grand ballroom. Oh. Can I do something while they're doing that? No. No. As you enter, you all, Thor, Thor, enter, and the ground, beneath you begins to spin the whole thing.

Sandy is also spinning now with you. So that's five people. I'm a fantastic. Yeah. But you're each spinning on different circles within the room. I'm floating, so explain to me how that's happening to me. Yeah. And it's very confusing.

And creepy fucking music begins to play, and we're going to take a quick break. So everyone can go buy signed posters and get a drink. And we'll be back. Hi, I'm Travis McElroy. And I'm Teresa McElroy. And we're the host of Schmaners. We don't believe that etiquette should be used to judge other people. No, on Schmanters, we see etiquette as a way to navigate social situations with confidence.

So if that sounds like something you're into? Join us every Friday on maximum fun wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's John Moe, inviting you to listen to Depresh Mode with John Moe, where I talk about mental health and the lives we live. with all kinds of people. Famous writers. David Sedaris, welcome to Depresh Mode. Thanks so much for having me. Movie stars.

Jamie Lee Curtis, welcome to Depression. I am happy to be here. Musicians. I am in St. Paul, Minnesota. I'm talking to Amy Mann. Great to talk to you. And Song Exploders. Rishi Kees Heirway, welcome to Depression Mode.

Thanks so much for having me. Everyone's opening up on Depression Mode on Maximum Fun. I just ran into a free of super hard backstage. because I couldn't see at all. You kick the shit out of me. Then you don't have to see Justin's deep unzippening. Thank you for the heads up. Highlander 2, the unzippening.

I zipped it up for you. You prudes. Nope. Nope. Aw. Also, we want to say thank you to Evan Palmer, the designer of our poster for this evening. It's so cute.

We want to once again remind you we're playing The Beast, which is a horror RPG by Grant Howitt and Chris Taylor. You can find that wherever good RPGs are found. And let's say thank you to Paul and Amanda. Thank you. And Rachel and Sol and Justin. Hey Paul, can I have like a Diet Coke for my wine glass full of Maker's Mark? Jesus. Is that what that is?

It's going to be a good show. Oh, and also Nate. Sorry, Nate. Thank you, Nate. Okay, we got it. And the whole staff here, they're great. They really are. Absolutely.

They actually... Loose in the second half, fam. They hung our poster in the empty bathroom. It's true. There's posters that I got all backstage. It's really great. And then there's ours from last time we were here in 2019 hanging in the bathroom, which is correct.

Yes. Accurate. You have a real Bob Dylan poster in the other room, and we are in the bathroom. It's generous. frankly. Thank you. Didn't make it on the legends who have performed here. That's fine.

Give us time. No, it says that in the bathroom. Under our poster. In the anti-bathroom. Yeah. Yes, it's the bathroom outside the bathroom. You keep saying anti-bathroom next to the room, but I'm thinking of the kitchen. The kitchen is the anti-bathroom.

Yeah. Speaking of the kitchen, you're in the grand ballroom. Thank you. Jose, this is a lovely venue. We're honored to be here. Thank you for having it. So, the grand ballroom is spinning around. Ooh. For everyone, but. Everybody make a 1D10 save roll.

Are you not going to, okay, my background is ghost. So I think I should get- You can make a 2D10. Seven. Four. Four. Six. This table's consistent and I like it first. Okay. Now I roll as Sandy. Okay.

I want to add two to me. How do this father do? Well, I rolled 12. Okay. We're all spinning around then. You're all spinning around. You're all discombobulated. So you will be rolling one D10 less.

How did you roll a 12 with a D10? Because I rolled two D10s because it was a medium challenge. Okay. So you are all very discombobulated and being swung around the room in concentric circles as you're trying to make way through. What do you do? How do you survive? I dance like a ghost from the...

Haunted mansion. Ooh. Oh, can we be the hitchhikers? Yeah. Chagging ghosts, yeah. Okay. Roll 1D10. That's either a 7 or a 2.

It's a 2. Well, I got 4, so I barely beat you. I reach out with my screw stick, and I... Your what? Hey, bud. It's a screw stick. You know how some canes have swords inside of them? Mine has a screw inside of it.

What? That's just a cane. That's just the fastening mechanism for the... It's just a cane. It's just a cane that unscrews into two parts. Hey, bud. It's not a secret weapon. It's really like this, though.

Now, hold on. You say that. I think it was a bit like a little bit. Until there's a perfect hole for that the screws came into. Yeah. We need to open this door, but the doorknob's gone and the screw holes so tiny. Well, I was going to read. Catch out and hook.

Okay. Linda Ronstad. Clean to Ronstad. Dad, it's your broom. Yeah, well, nobody remembers my jokes either. It's not. Okay. All right.

Dad and Justin, roll 2D10 plus 2. 7, 14, 16. He just says more and more. Really? Yeah, 16. Mine's a 10. Okay, plus two. 12.

I think they all know addition. Do I have to help you with that, too? This is wild. Okay, so 12? Is that good or bad, Travis? I actually feel a little bad for you. Thank you. And what was yours, Justin?

16. So it works. 16 is with the two already. Okay, thank you. I can do the whole, I could show my work if you want. 14 plus 2. Thank you. 16.

So 28 total. Now hold on a second. Let's not go crazy. Wait a minute. 16. Six and the two carry the five. 28. Yeah, 28.

Yeah, you are able to hook each other and get outside of your concentric rings. You still have Sandy and Gooper. I thought it was a freeze frame. Sorry. Are rotating around feeling very... Where are you spinning on, Gooper? I have been asking the same question. Is there just like a little?

a little aircraft. It just seems weird if I don't do it too. It's pure pressure. I'm just going to throw out the word spiritual magnetism. Okay. Okay. You're not really letting me have any kind of fun with this ghost care. There's red in the walls.

I gave you 2D10 and you still didn't do it. You're right. And I should be punished forever for that. You're right, Travis. I miss Piscretti. I miss Piscretti too. Piscetti could have survived this trap. Dischetti had a gun.

Diabolical trap. It's how games work. Okay. I guess I try again. Wee. Well, you could have your friends help you. Yeah. To water mop and me.

No, don't, because I've seen what it does. Oh. I don't want to touch that either. You and me, let's get the fuck out of here. Together, we do it together. Okay. You don't want the help for my screws. Do you want Sandy to help?

Yeah. Okay. Obviously. Actually, I feel like I'm buttoning in here. Now, you're kind of a part of it now. All right. Roll 2D 10. Seven.

That's a two. Hey, eight, 15. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I got 17. Wait, let me roll for a dipshit. What's his name?

Scott. Sandy. Sandy. It's on my leg. Six more to R21. Okay, yeah. Thank God. The three of you

pull each other out of the considering circles. It's a dance. Aw. It is a dance. And you know what? The ghost that's trapped, sweaty Joe, in your mom as you dance your way out, goes heaven!

And escapes out of your mom. Aw. Good. So the one ghost we got rid of is now back in the house. No, he's in heaven. I said the word heaven. Yeah, he's in heaven forever. He like us is in heaven now.

We're going to. Pea heaven or normal heaven? Pea heaven. Peaveen. Peave in. That's what he's into. All right. I like it.

So as soon as you may get outside of the concentric circles, you hear a kajunk, kchunk, kunk, kunk, and the mechanism that we're spinning a floor around comes to a halt. Once we're done with it. Yes. How interesting. Do we see anyone at a switch? Like, oh, shit. Roll for it.

I'm going to track the machine. Okay. D10. Six. Can I help? Cooper. Please help Cooper. Yeah, you're going to roll one more D10.

Help Cooper. Roll a higher number for Cooper. A two is not going to help Cooper here. Can I help her help Cooper? I don't know my number. Wait, tell me what you guys are up to. Eight.

Yeah, you can help. Yeah, okay. That's a five. Nope. 13. Help Cooper. Wait, yeah, absolutely. And then I extend my mom to Gooper.

Not like that. Wait, which end? I deactivated it. You got to trust me. Business end or normal? Business end, but I deactivated it. You got to trust me, Cooper. You know how we've never trusted each other?

And it's been a big part of our relationship? Yeah. Well, in this moment, you've got to trust me. Oh. But listen, listen, I don't have unfinished business. They just don't have hot dogs in heaven. Peevin. I, Guper, I turned it off.

You have to trust me. Okay, trust me now, Cooper. This is such an adventure's own moment. Yeah, you ready? Let's see, here it comes. Help, Cooper. Six. That's 21, I think.

Something around there. It feels right. 17. No, it's 13. It's a 19. The neutron star coin is back. You know what? I had rolled 18.

So with the 19, you win. Good job team. Yay! But not by enough that we don't have to flip a coin. I don't even remember what it is we were doing. So many people have rolled so many dice at this point that I forget what the challenge was. Justin? Looking for a guy.

Looking for a guy hitting a switch. Justin, heads or tails. Scows. And you see a human. in form shuffling away from a switch behind a wall. With your spectral eyes you can see beyond the wall. Okay. With the energy that everyone else is providing you.

Okay. And so you do see that there was someone behind a wall at the switch, and they're running away from the room. Just going to punch right through that fucking wall with my slimy and corporeal body. This one doesn't have lead. Just helping trav. Hey, I'm a ghost, Trave. Let me do ghost stuff, Trav. Okay.

Roll 2D10. That feels right to me. Ooh. 15. You just rolled one of your... I saw it. I fucking sined it. I'll roll it again.

You saw the result, rolled it. Oops, guess I got to roll again. It was a one, wasn't it? You're going to lose to Cooper, and you're afraid of what that means. I want you to know. I shit you're not. I would have won.

All right. But I'm rolling again. Oh, you would have won, but okay, I see. Okay, so this is 7, 8, 16. Man, you just goopered yourself. I'm hunting this person for a third dice. Yeah. Five.

Yeah, that's right. Just helping. I'm playing the game the way God intended. Wait, don't say just helping to me. That was dead. That was my gag. Warp? I'm through the wall now.

What's that mean? Okay, I will say. Yeah. That you were able to get one hand through, right? And you are able to leave a trace on whoever was behind it. They get away, but you've left a trace. Just like a little bit of me off of. Ectoplasm.

But you can be wherever any bit of you is. Like the Lord. So now, whoever this is has a little bit of gooper on them. Yeah. And I'm spiked. I hate that. Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just help and Travis. So do they, I bet. You may get upstairs. Just don't. You've reached the switchback staircase. Whoa. We've been on that. Yeah.

Not me, I float above the ground. Which you'll know, Sarah had insult because she has arthritis and it's hard for her to take big steps. Ooh! The inexorable march of time. And they're perfectly normal steps. She shouldn't have to walk up him anyway. She's a queen. Queen should be carried.

I'll carry her from now on I'll be her feet on her bad stairs no problem incredible she's not there but she knows if I know Clint he's going to get her there hey hey I don't know

y'all are too close as a family you get that right dad knows how to please a woman I guess he's not our dad he's a character Travis was just making an honest statement. Okay. Bye, Ibrahim.

That's a season wrap on a Brea. Hey, special guest to Brea. She's back. Okay. She's calling a Gooper. So we're on the staircase. Are we in hot pursuit? Do we know about the person that Gooper saw?

Yes. Okay, so we're following them? Yes. Okay Do you make a running motion When you float through the air We're still doing it We're still doing it

Yeah the stairs are normal It's fine Okay I go Wait wait wait I want to see if they're evil Oh no that's my gig No that's my gig I almost became go-bler Yeah I roll the one

It's fine Okay cool I had a check It's Dungeons and Dragons Baby got a check Hey Griffin Yeah Can I meet you over here for a minute

Yeah sure The energy you're bringing Um challenging. You can hear this. No, I know, I just want to say. Things between me and Griffin. I feel like Jared Leto Joker energy.

Like, Gooper is sort of like becoming part of Griffin. Like, I don't know where the... And we're going to find a dead rat in our dressing rooms. Yeah, how is this show, Briar? Pretty good. Griffin left used condoms collected in a shoe box.

You can control the goober, right? You're right. Cooper's not in charge of me. I'm in charge of Guber. That's right. That's right. Got this. All right.

You make it upstairs. You are in the atrium hallway. Dear God, how many rooms are there. At the, a lot. Yeah. At the end of the hallway, you can see Sarah's bedroom. Nice. No.

I spritz Clint McElroy with a water bottle. Not you, Dan. That's fair. Oh, that's it. Make him look sweaty. I'll float forward. towards the bedroom because traps can't kill me. Okay, the windows shatter.

Whoa. What? And the glass begins to fly both ways across the hallway, Chris Crossing, but you are a ghost. Yeah, but I do have a big bag of hamburgers floating inside of my body that I don't want to get. Roll 2D10 for the hamburgers. 15.

Yeah? You just rolled one. dice. I know you didn't. Stop it. Sorcerer. Is it a seven? Okay. No. My hamburgers are fine. Your hamburgers are fine. It misses your delicate hamburger. I also have a gun in there somewhere.

Now hold on. Yeah. I have a gun, too. Stop. Why does Cooper have a gun? We all brought guns, right? All right, cool, go. Just checking. We came in here to kill ghosts, so we all brought guns, right? My two items are a full gun and a man. A full gun.

A full gun and a whole app man. Trigger, holding part, barrel, the whole thing. The full gun. Why do you think I'm actually mistrusted as a witch? I don't do magic. I have a gun. A full gun. Yeah.

So far you've done zero magic. Yeah. I'm like, there's no moon. I wouldn't trust a witch that does no magic. Yeah, I'm kind of a gun witch. Magic. Like bayonetta. I do gun caught.

like from the movie. Yeah. And my gear is my screw stick and my one ball. I think it's unfair of you all to say that I'm bringing the Joker energy to this live performance and that it's not a five-handed. I just want to do a normal one of these someday.

You're right. Just a normal one. Not going to happen. The hamburgers are fine, everyone. Let's go. But there's glass. I cast a magic shield around everybody. Wait, do we have magic?

You're a psychic. I cast a psychic shield around everybody. Fuck yeah, I like that. Now, hold on, hold on, hold on. You don't cast shit. You don't have spells lots. I create a, I think, a psychic shield around everybody. One of the two of you has a mop to clean up glass with,

well, I guess a mop's not a great glass cleaning instrument. But a psychic shield is pretty cool. Let me do one thing in this damn show. I shoot the glass. That's not Justin doing it. Okay, dad, roll 3D10 against my 3D 10. Fuck yeah. Yeah, okay, fine.

Yes, I was there at the night. The McElroy family fell apart. Allegible, these dice. Allegible. Three. 21, 9, 9 and 3, 21. I have 24. Oh, my God.

Oh, bullshit. No, no, I believe it. Okay, it's fine. 9, 8, 7 is what I have. Well, I am. Don't, thanks. To the point, I am a psychic playing a fake psychic. You know what?

So this was the fake psychic side of me. What? Because I love you. Yes. Use your crystal ball and get a plus two. Okay. So that's 23. You're still not there yet. You've still lost the role. Wait, can I help by actually doing magic behind him?

Yes. Love that. Oh yeah. Yes. Love that. Wait, and here's how you could... And I need to hear a voice from beyond to help me cast my psychic shield. Rat ta-tat-ta-ta. Tat-rat-rat-rat-rat-rat-ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ra.

Dot, dot, dot, dash, dash, dot, dot. You got to Lady Gaga faster than I expected. Okay. And there's a shield. That's six more. He's got six more now. I would say this point, between the two of you, the shield is more of a redirection.

As the glasses flying around you begins to swirl. Um, you're made it through. You two are, um, moving through it as it twirls between you. Um, and Clint McElroy, planes, walking janitor, roll 3D10. Uh, you're helped out by there. So it'll only be 2D10 against your 3D 10. Let's see.

Roll high. 10, 17, 19. Yeah, you're against an 11. So you move through and you're just kind of spinning like full blown, uh, uh, like spinning your mop around you. Oh, yeah. Very Jim Codda. Yeah.

Okay. And I have goggles, too. Oh, yeah, the goggles help a lot. Because otherwise glass starts in the ice. Yeah, no glass in these peepers. That's one of my catchphrases. The action figure, when you push the button, it says, no glass in these peepers.

And mine will say, just helping. So you've made it through the A Dream Hallway. you are now in Sarah's bedroom. This is not where we were trying to go. This is the first stop on our journey if memory serves. Oh, dear God. Yeah, you're grabbing the key. Yeah, I grabbed the key. Oh, okay. What key?

To open up the seance room. Look for a sample of her handwriting. Wait. Ooh. Yeah. Check for that first. Ooh, that's good. You can't look like I said something fucking crazy. No, I was just surprised. That was the first cogent idea.

Yeah, someone I was playing with remembered something and I was confused. The look you gave me, I will never be helpful again. I shoot. No, no, no. I'm just not used to players in my games. We're not used to causality happening on the stage today. I don't want your good

play to die in a vacuum. Okay, you know what? I'm so proud of you, you find it. Thank you. You are the favorite. What you find, you find a will dated two years prior in her handwriting

that is so clearly laid out that she'll leave it to her daughter. Everything. Saying that it's her only living kin and this will be for her. Dated two years prior. Her daughter. Okay. We're Sandy in this moment. Standing next to you. I shoot him.

What? In the kneecap. In the kneecap. You know what? You're going to roll 2D10. I have threatened. That is a threatening action. You're going to roll 3D10 against my 2D10 to see if you wing him or kill him.

Okay. Help. I can't do that. Those are incredible dice. 18. Thank you. Okay. So you have the choice.

Do you wing him or kill him? Probably just wing, right? Yeah, I'm just going to hit him in the knee. Yeah. Yeah, you get him in the knee. He goes, Ugh. And he falls out.

A wall. Oh, no, my knee, babe. Babe, my knee Oh, you got me, babe What he says after I shoot him with my gun Baby, you got me in the knee, babe Oh Hey, Sandy

Yeah Sandy, the loyalty So appreciated Yeah, babe But what the fuck Why did you, why did you Why did you Oh, babe

You're realizing in this moment That what you have just done Is a gross overreaction to the queen Yes Yes Hey this is different For this

Bhaugh Why are you disinheriting Sarah's daughter What Kathleen What Oh babe

Oh babe My knee bed I'll never Hackysack again Oh god My sack of days I'm over I heal him

Honestly This is an unalloyed good Less hacky sack the world. I was top ten in the world. I was bringing it to an art form. And we're in California.

Yeah. What does that mean? I don't know. They love it here. It's one of the California games. Yeah, it's one of the California games. Could I heal him? Based on what? Hold on. I made a choice and now you're kind of no, that's a good point. I was trying to win Brownie points. Wait a minute, hold on. Are you trying to take Sandy from me?

No, I shouldn't I shouldn't do that. I shouldn't heal him. You see that Clint McRoy has turned the chair around, and he's sitting on it backwards, and he lights up a cigarette. Okay, gang. We've had some laughs here, but, uh...

Hey, can I get one of those cool cigarettes? Yeah, here you go. Oh, my God, cigarettes are so cool. Since Mattelah took the shot, this whole job's gone stinko. I've been here a thousand times. You gotta know it's all right. Sometimes these go sideways.

We're going to need to split up, though, go several ways, because this one's going to have the law. This one's going to go south real fast. I say everybody gets this much valuable stuff and we get the hell out of here. There's going to be a lot of questions, and I don't think you want to be there to supply the energy. Oh, babe, I'm losing a lot of blood, babe.

From your kneecap, you're fine. Okay, can I roll the... You shot me, babe. In the knee. Yeah, babe. You still a good one. I think he's really doing a lot of heavy lifting. I'm going to heal him.

There's more small mirrors than I can fit my pockets, guys, if you want. Over here, this drawer is mainly like, it's like small mirror city over here. A few cameos, too, when I was thinking. Nice. Roll 3D 10. I have heel. Okay, I'm helping her heal. No.

Why? You're a psychic. I have heel as one of my skills. I still am calling Bow. bullshit. You can heal psychic damage. Oh, that's good. Don't you think getting shot in the knee by your new girlfriend would cause psychic damage? Hey, dad, hold on, hold on. You roll. 17. Okay, you beat that. Now, dad, you roll 2D10 to heal the upset damage. Okay. Well, let me see again. How upset is he? He's pretty upset. He got shot by his girlfriend. Well, let me see it.

Oh, babe. No, you get one die now because you drop. That's only fair, that. It's only fair. Okay. That's an eight. That's a ten. So, he heals. No, he's still upset. He's still pretty sad.

He's like, I'm not bleeding anymore, babe. But it's going to take me about a week to get over this. If I've learned anything in our literal minutes together, it's that you like the drama and the trauma. I too. He's the one who just did a very dramatic thing. I would say. Hey, Gooper. I'm gonna need you shut the fuck up.

I've been on your side the whole time. I will reach into you and take your hamburgers. Wait, that was too far. That was too far. I take it back, I take it back. I was way too far. I take it back. I'm sorry.

Is that a euphemism? No, he has a, he has hamburgers in his time. You can see them right now. Hey. Oh, God. Yeah. I think that there's something fishy going on with this here.

Then he waves this. the document around. I think somebody to make history of this. Yeah, we should keep moving, huh? No. Hey, babe, we should keep. No, we have to talk about this.

I shot you because of that. Yeah, what's the story? Because of Clemackroy? Wait, let me think. No, the thing he's holding. Why do you, why do you got this? Come on, it's me, Cooper. Sandy.

Sandy. Sandy. Sandy. I'm going to charm Sandy into speaking is true. Let's go. Okay. Roll? I have charm as a skill.

Oh, that really counts in this game, Griffin. Have all the fucking skills you want, pal. Is Cooper inherently charming? Is Cooper inherently charming? No. No. Okay. He has his own high sea flavor.

I think he's... No, wait. This is a good... Everybody don't say, shut up. Audience? Is Goober? No, no, no, no. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on, hold on. Stop, stop, stop. We'll do A-B testing, okay? Is Cooper charming yes?

Stop, stop. Is Cooper charming? No. Cooper's charming. Yeah. Okay, you get 3D-10. Yay. Nice.

Fifth, hit 21. Yeah, you beat my seven. Hey, it's me, Cooper. If you don't get that knee cleaned up soon, you're going to be like me and we can be pals. Man, babe, you know I love that, babe. Yeah. Wait, is he babe now?

You're both, babe. Okay. We sort of did a whole thing in the dancing. You're right. You're right. That's on me. That's on me. Yeah, listen, I guess this is kind of our house now. And so, you want to haunt it?

So, wait, hold on. Yeah? Okay. Can you describe the crime you did first? No, I'm just saying, like, she signed it overdosed. We're like her kids now, and so like, you're welcome to staying haunted or whatever. So she wrote the papers? She signed the will, yeah.

You've been weird since the moment I met you. Uh-huh. Get his other knee. He's got two of them. You heard him, babe. I think this mystery solved, y'all. Yeah. But we haven't been to the seant's room.

That's the one room. You come with us to the seance room. I'm placing you. under citizens arrest. All right, babe. I produced two goo handbag. Wait, does he have my goo on him? Yeah.

How? He was with us the whole fucking time. Yeah, who's the guy that had a goo on him? This is just from general gooing. You kind of have an AOE to your goo. Yeah, sure. Your goo AEO is high. All right, I create two gooey handcuffs from my form.

I love this, babe. I take them back. Too fast. Too fast. I realized down too fast. All right. Hey. Hey, you tease.

Wait, hold on, wait. Let her say that great joke again. What do you say? One more times. We're goo cop bad cop. Griffin, you lost the E from Gooper. You've turned us up in the world. We're a social media platform.

Are you on Cooper? I do not know. I mean goob.R. Everybody check the bottoms of your shoes. See if you have the E. If you do. You get to do our future live shows with us. Okay, we're going to jump right to the seance room.

Finally. Why are we going to the seance room? Well, you've made it up the perfectly normal staircase. Okay, now it just says GOP. I'm going to insist you leave it like that. GORP. Okay, you go up the perfectly normal staircase ball. Right, you could make it grope.

I can't. Oh, right. Checked. I ran out of letters. Do you guys want to check out of the door to nowhere? Nice. It goes to nowhere. Okay, ball, perfectly normal staircase.

Up to... I'm going to leap up it. Stride up it. Two at a time. Roll one T-10? Two. Yeah, I roll it 12. You trip.

Oh, no. You're fine. Okay. But embarrassed. I'm fine, but I'm going to complain about it all night. Oh, damn it. Oh, damn. leg.

Damn, you boys go ahead. I'm going to head back to the room. Damn it. It feels like such an inside joke. I was having such a lot

of fun. Damn it. God, it hurts. Fuck. Man, one time at King's Island. All right, you may get to

the seance slash science room. Okay, let me fire up my seance machines. Okay. I'm a literal ghost so I can just sort

to like chat with whoever's in here without the aid of some sort of Kathleen We need everybody to hold hands Everybody hold hands No you don't have to do that

She's still alive, yeah Kathleen She's still alive Wait who's Kathleen? Kathleen is the daughter The Debria made up I gave a gift Oh

Is it not Kathleen You assume I'm talking to the dead I may be talking to a live person You see a ghost in the corner Who looks at when he's like Oh, hey, what's up, man? Hey, how's it going? Can you speak with us?

Yeah. Yeah, what's up? Yes, what is your name, please? Rufus. Okay, listen, you can just talk to the guys. Yeah, man. Where's Janet? This is the only stick I've got.

Let me do my shit. Hey, what's going on? Hi. Yeah, what's up? How you doing? Would you like to speak through me? What are you guys out to? We're literally talking right here.

Pick up this screw stick and make it float in the air. Yeah, what are you guys doing? Yeah, what are you? Hold that really quick. Yeah, what's up? No, just hold his little stick real quick. Okay, yeah. Thanks.

Sorry. Oh, yes. Whap! Wow. Yes, faster, faster. Oh, that turned the curve. Harder. Hit me harder.

Yeah, it actually, hey, Jondy, hits you so hard, you're unconscious for a minute. Okay. Hey, how's it going? It's going great. What's up? Um, just why are, why are there so many of you here? Oh, so, uh, people die all over the place.

There's actually, that's true. Yeah, there's billions of ghosts all over the earth. This is just where we are. Okay, but like, why here? Because we're, oh, sorry, we're everywhere. Okay, so you were just kind of passing through and you stuff. Yeah, man, we just hang out wherever. Oh, I would like it if you would leave.

Would you be open to that and ask your friend how I handle rejection in this arena? I'd like very much if you moved on. He's in heaven now. Yeah. Beven. Wait, who? Oh, uh, sweaty Joe. Sweaty Joe's in heaven.

Good for him. Yeah. Do you want to go to heaven? You know, that's dangerous. I'm Buddhist. That's so delightful. I'm a Christian vegetable. I would like.

Like, um... Where is my hairbrush, though? Sorry, we're on drugs. Hey, I have a question, actually. Yeah, if I can ask you. You know, uh, and I kind of nod at Sandy. Like, you know, uh... Oh, yeah.

And the brothers, have you seen them conspiring at all, kind of conspiring? Oh, yeah, they've been up in, you know, up there. Where? Heaven? No, the witch's gap. Say again? The witch's cap on the house? The what?

Here, I'll show you. And so Janet, boom, boom, on the wall. And then the whole... Paul, can we show the original map? Yeah, thank you. The whole map changes. Oh, shit. Okay.

Okay, now if you can zoom in, and now in the middle room, it says a ladder to floor four. Okay, that's great. But what does the ladder look like? That's a great question. Thank you, Paul. Thank you. Thank you.

That's another ladder. I love that. Abrea just jumped off the building, hoping that Paul would sort of catch her on the way down. Yeah. And there were only one set of footprints on that ladder, and that was Paul. Is there a ladder? I heard something about ladder.

I've got you on my back. I'm carrying you up. Oh, okay. So I can go back to sleep? Yeah. Okay. I see a white light. Should I walk towards it?

Probably. It worked out great for me. Okay, so what's up this ladder? The Witches Cat. Okay, I go up there. That is not what those look like. Are there any ghosts up here? What you find up there are two of the three Winchester boys,

the 30s, been with you the whole time. And a big... What do they look like again? Oh. Paul did not catch you that. Paul let you splat on the fucking ground. Thanks, Paul. To be fair, I designed in the second ladder,

and then I literally said to Paul, I don't think we'll need to see the Winchester boys again. You fool. You said, I'm sure they'll be done with the callbacks at that point. I said the one bit is enough. Okay, wait, which one is Sandy? Yeah. Clearly, it's this one with the Van Dyke.

What? I don't know what that means. The one on the left. Oh, okay. Oh, wow. No. I don't think that facial hair is real. That's not a Sandy.

You made that an MS taint. Best joke you've ever made. No one's going to say anything dumber than that all night, which is incredible. Amazing. So, you reach here and you find Deacon and Casual together, just sitting and cuddling, and it was nice. And then Sandy goes over and joins them, and then from out of the shadows. In the cuddling? Wait, quick question.

Does either Deacon or Casual have a little bit of gooper? on him? That's the question of the hour. Deacon does. I mean, you fucking knew it. He made a spin. Sorry, what? Oh, that bastard. He made a spin around?

He made you spin around. I'll fucking kill him. No, it makes me spin around. He made a spin around right round. I mean. And from out of the shadow's steps, a demon. What?

Okay. Yeah. Is it Deacon the demon? No. How hot? Wait, you don't have a picture of the demon? How hot? No.

You don't have a picture. Not attractive. Sorry, you have two twin dining rooms. You have stairs. Well, Justin, if I tried to depict the demon, your mind would melt. Oh, shit. Oh, that makes sense. Actually.

I was doing this as a favor to your human brain. I appreciate that. Thank you, Travis. Wait. Oh, God, he is ugly. He really is ugly. Hey, what's your deal, partner? Ha-la-la-la-la-la.

Sorry, what I meant to say is, welcome to my home. Whoa. Whoa. Sorry, welcome to my home. Thank you. That's better. What's your...

Can you take any form? What? No. No, fine. It's fine. Fine. I'm fine. Can you fly? How many wishes?

Then what do you fucking do, man? Are you just a guy? What? Are you just a guy from hell? Yeah, what's your pride? No, I'm very powerful. Do a fireball. Do something.

Hey, Griffin. Roll 1D10. Let me say this. In my defense, if I see this dude's hand where his hippie at, I am also going to draw on him. Yeah. With my keen shooter. Okay, you go first. and then I'll go.

I don't like that. You go first and then I'll go. Same time. I rolled it. It's under the book. It's rude. There's a rudeness to that. I don't appreciate it all.

You're going to roll so good. Mine also went under a book. Who fucking knows? I like it. It's a 17 on two dice. There's only a few different things. You have three dice there. I don't know what you're showing.

me. Nobody can see that. 28. God damn. 28? To do what? Shoot a fireball at his head. At Gooper? Yeah, it hits him and goes through.

It's fine. He's a ghost. Wait. But it is a braggadocious move. But let me be very clear. Gooper's got shooters in these streets. Yeah. So now, oh yeah.

Now, Gooper, you roll 3D10 and I'll roll 2D10. I want to help. Yeah. I feel like if someone's drawing. on Cooper, it's going to be a whole situation. Yeah. I say we all shooting. How many can I roll? I'm going to roll three. Yeah. That sounds good to me. Okay. 18. 22.

Okay, so you guys roll 40 against his four. Ow! Hey, a demon man. And you see Clint smoking, he takes a long jog. Let the record show I was switzerland on this man. I did not wait in on either side of this conflict. Yeah, but I was going to. We'll see how. shakes out a little bit before I choose the side here. No, they got me by 10 times by a magnitude. You, piece of shit.

Then I swing the mop at him. Yeah, but I had a whole plan. Now roll 3D 10. Him or me. Get him. Get him, Clint. Get him. Oh, okay. No, not you.

You can help. 13? Yeah, against my two. But, man, fuck. I have a whole plan about what I was going to do. Now, actual Clint, you roll 2D? time. Yeah.

We're sitting at a tight 53 now, so. I'm going to put everything I got into this, because I can tell by the timer. That went off the stage, I believe. Now, wait, don't look. Okay. 16 for you un-miked people. Now, here's what I want you to know.

I'm glad he rolled the 16, but he rolled two dice. I rolled a one. so it didn't matter what was on the dice. He won. You shut this demon down. It gets sucked into the demonic plane. Stop. Okay.

Stop. Okay. This whole game, when I rolled these ten-sided dice, are you telling me that when it was a zero, it was ten and not zero? Did you think it was zero, man? You can't roll zero. Clint.

I swear to God. You beautiful man. Thank you, all for you. You beautiful, gorgeous fool. Why the fuck would there be a nothing option? Why would there be a zero on the dice, Matt? Why would it help that? Okay, Trev, can you bring us home, bud?

Yeah, and the demon says, you know what guys, I'm going to go? This feels unfair. Wait, wait, did we solve it? Yeah, no, they were trying to con her out of her estate or whatever. We got out on next one, bud. Yeah. I feel bad for this guy. For which one?

I think you know. Don't make him say it. And so, you know what? You guys win or whatever. Hey, see you your man. Check on him. Yeah. Make sure he's cool.

Maybe give him like a spa day or something. It was telling me to do this. Hey, it's me the demon. He's a love demon. All right. He's not okay. We know. Clint McElroy.

Is there doing this one of the scene? Clint takes a step back. And he's like, he looks down, he's like, oh no. Not now. Oh, no, my money. I haven't gotten paid for this job. You didn't do anything. And he jumps out of this plane onto his next adventure.

Yay. Let's hear for Abria. Abria, everybody. Thanks for having us, San Jose. We love you very much. Thank you. Thank you so much. Come back and see us tomorrow if you want.

It'll be funny, too. All right, bye. be doing the exact same show.