The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Steeplechase - Episode 2

Episode Date: October 13, 2022

The race to steal the pin continues with some unfortunate hitches and pratfalls. Montrose makes a connection, Beef takes up a strategic position, Emerich creates a distraction.Opening monologue perfor...med by Autumn Seavey Hicks: https://www.instagram.com/autumnseaveyhicks/?hl=enAddition music in this episode: “Voyageur” by Monkey Warhol: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Monkey_Warhol/; "Six" by Lex Villena: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2iwj2SqGnplhDIadeJ5bmy?si=N8WYSKIPR7WUy8z4ajNSog; and “Something’s Not Right Here” by Kirk Osamayao: kirkosamayo.com. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey friends, it's Crystal with a K here with another Steepy Watch. Bit of a serious start this time, gang. Loads of you have reached out since the incident involving me, my fellow vloggers, and a highly skilled gang of criminals during the prize pantry pin reveal. So many of you have sent kind words and prayer hand emojis, and let me just say, thank you. I am completely fine, and I'm still not convinced it wasn't a big show by Dentonic to sprinkle some extra jerks.
Starting point is 00:00:30 dream dust on the festivities. So let's not talk about that ever again. And instead, think about how cool it was to see Beef Punchley finally being put to use in the park after years of being completely ignored. I mean, Beef Punchley. I felt like I was 14 again. that's all for this week steepies and remember as dentonic always says never know when to stop dreaming travelers no show you desire another tale one moment that's actually a really good voice justin there's still a little bit more thread here on the loom so this can this be a character can this be a character named like dirty jeremy not while i'm weaving sorry just Welcome to Tad's...
Starting point is 00:02:17 I think it would be like the Wiley Weaver or something, you know? Welcome to the Adventure Zone. Staplechase, a fiction. Okay. Of my own design. Did you say this thing? Yeah, having DMs before, I'm really glad. None of us have ever clarified that this is made up.
Starting point is 00:02:33 I'm really glad that you finally just put the tiger on the table. And you've got to say the thing about like any resemblance of real people or stories is fictional. Okay, so... What about animals? Were they hurt? No. Animals were... Oh, you hesitated, though.
Starting point is 00:02:47 Yeah, you had to think about it. All right, gang, you know the situation. You've just revealed Matchstick underneath the stage. Matchstick has the pin. And B, if you have a big vacuum tube, and Griffin, you're holding a blanket. I guess Montre has a big blanket. Emmerich's doing his thing in the back. In terms of threats, well, the whole thing's quite a mess.
Starting point is 00:03:12 I mean, people are definitely, it's. chaos. But it's our mess. It's our mess. Is it? I mean, it's part of, yes. It seems to, it is a mess, for sure. For sure, it's a mess. Now, Justin, what stat would you say, if I wanted to roll this big pipe like a Donkey Kong
Starting point is 00:03:29 rolling a barrel? What's that is there a barrel stat? Do you think? Or like, let's say what this is the pipe, all right? Okay. I've had your fun. You had a big cereal pipe. You sucked up some things with it. You're not going to take this large piece of machine. You're not going to disassemble this place like Donkey Kong. man.
Starting point is 00:03:46 You got a good one off with that tube. I feel like I should get to roll to see if I take it apart like a donkey long. Well, wouldn't it lose its sort of suction? It will not be. It will just be a tube. What are you trying to achieve? No, I'm not really. I'm not really going to roll it.
Starting point is 00:03:59 Okay. I'm going to. Here, let me intercede here. As the sort of stand in for the director and this sort of thing, I think the action has to go with mantros. He's just seen matchstick. Agreed. And I want to know what do you do. next. Did Matchstick take off or is he still kind of under the stage? You are at the exact
Starting point is 00:04:21 moment where Matchstick has raised the pin to you and has gone, shh. Giving you a big shush. Yeah, there's probably, it's thin, right? The platform is maybe elevated like three feet off the ground. It's one of those like risers that you would see set up at the mall for a fashion show. Okay. Yeah. A reference everyone understands. Well, Trav, you go ahead and describe a platform better for me. No, no, I understood it, Justin. Okay, well, let's keep the snarkasm to a minute. How dare you assume? How dare you not acknowledge my beautiful neologism?
Starting point is 00:04:53 Griffin, what do you do? So if this scene is still deeply chaotic, I'm going to jump in the hole down. It's too small. Too small. Oh, it's too small. Imagine the pedestal was probably, I think we talked about it being the cube was four inch by four inches. The pedestal is six by six. The hole is too small for you to get your physical body through.
Starting point is 00:05:12 Okay. Um, I am going to take off sprinting toward the back where, uh, where I know that Emrick is. I'm assuming that this thing doesn't empty out anywhere else. So I'm guessing that I would be able to, uh, intercept this dude or at least find my own way under the stage. It is, it is covered by a curtain, like hanging down over the risers. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:05:43 So does that make sense? Like if you can imagine sort of a drapery that's protecting the underside to make it look a little more formal, that's where he is under. Oh, well, I'm probably much closer to the front of the stage. So I'm just going to take a like a Pratt fall. Like I'm like also being blown away in this in this chaos and then try and just very slyly roll, roll under that curtain under the stage. Okay, let's call this a, you know, John Harper in all his wisdom has not put a Pratfall skill in here. So let's go ahead and I think this is finesse, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:16 You're trying to finesse, do a smooth roll under. Yeah, I'm trying to make it look like I am also a victim to the chaos that's happening right here and not a co-conspirator. This is probably risky, yes? Oh, yes. Standard? Standard. Let's see. Oh.
Starting point is 00:06:36 Ophadofa. Well, that's a one and a two. That's a one and a two. Is that good? That's a bad start, I would say. Oh, that's rough. Okay, so on a one or a two, I mean, the two, we're going with two, right? We take the highest one.
Starting point is 00:06:52 There's two, a... Hey! That's definitely a number two. That's definitely a number two. And a number one. You did a number one and a number two. I did them both. I'm very efficient.
Starting point is 00:07:02 Good boy. Kill him. Don't fucking kill. What? He pratfall so hard he dies. Okay, Griffin, you do, you do pratfall. onto the ground and but oh god
Starting point is 00:07:16 you sprain your ankle when you went down I'm gonna need you to take one harm um you twisted it bad too fuck that hurts god it's the worst you know what that's a real ouchy yeah that hurts
Starting point is 00:07:27 so you have uh you need to mark down that harm and uh but you are under the stage now uh you can see mash stick sort of skittering away he's really good at this Man, he's good.
Starting point is 00:07:41 I bet he didn't sprain anything getting other than he here. Sure, sure. And you see him kind of skittering away towards the side of the curtain that is closest to the entrance to the loading area that Emmerk is currently in
Starting point is 00:07:58 and, you know, where Eustis has been coming in and out of it. I shout out. Matchstick! Wait! Listen! Hmm. I made a bit of a hoodie. I know, but this is important.
Starting point is 00:08:13 May I ask, who are you? Matchstick, I'm your father. Very, very well. And then matchstick starts calling away. No way, matchstick, wait, listen, I'll prove it. It's in no way by this. I'll prove it. I'm going to start telling you increasingly personal things about yourself that only your father would know.
Starting point is 00:08:36 Hey, if you want, if you want, you understand the situation that this fan is in. If you want to, I think this is, this is, okay, it's risky. Yeah. But the effect is great. Because what you are shooting for is pretty amazing. Yeah. So if you can, all right, Griffin, if you want to try to keep him here long enough to hear your absolute madness. By him, you mean my son matchstick, right?
Starting point is 00:09:08 Yes, your son matched. So this is going to be desperate because I feel like you're, right on the frigging edge of this guy and great effect that's what you're trying for all right i'm i'm gonna push myself i'm gonna take too stress to push myself and we're gonna look at all this is gonna be great this is gonna be a six for sure yes one two six baby one six okay all right matchstick listen okay match stick turns back to my head stick turns back to you god dice are so dumb so That's interesting. You say,
Starting point is 00:09:46 All right. I know you're not dead because I have a dead, but I'm listening for 15 seconds just because I have to know. All right. I don't know why I'm talking like you now.
Starting point is 00:09:58 Listen, listen. I'm going to begin telling you incredibly personal things. They're going to come to me like a voice in my head because I'm dead, but I'm also a mystic. And here's the first thing.
Starting point is 00:10:09 It's a very personal detail about matchstick. Okay. Um, I'm gonna say that you are, this is, uh, you're attempting to sway, I assume, attempting to sway gravel. Now, I don't know why I would need to sway gravel into assist. Do you really not know why you would need to sway gravel? Oh, okay. Sure. I'm trying to sway gravel into assisting me then. Okay, good. Because right now, Griff, I love you and I, but the gravel does it. And one of you all has a pin that gravel really, really wants.
Starting point is 00:10:42 So I think what you hear is, I think you hear silence. I think you have to find some way of convincing gravel who is just listening in right now. Hey, Justin, while this is going on, just simultaneously, can I say that Beef is hearing this? And so he's like putting the pipe down or back or something, preferably back so that everything calms down. Okay. So that he can have his hands free and like available to help. I think that, yeah, I don't think you need to. roll for that. I mean, it's, it's, you pulled it out.
Starting point is 00:11:14 Yeah. That's that tough part, right? Yeah. Is this controlled, would you say? Your role? Yeah. No, because if it doesn't work, then you are, I will grant you risky standard. Okay. She's on the fence. All right, 5'4. Make success. Okay. All right, listen, matchstick, been really afraid of wolves.
Starting point is 00:11:43 You're afraid of wolves, son. Wait a minute, dude. Who told you that? Would you hear that, huh? And I think he's reaching for a knife. He's spooked by that. That's not something he's told a lot of people. Listen to me.
Starting point is 00:12:00 I am here from a place out of time. And I have come to warn you, you will be betrayed on this very day by the crewmates that you hold so dear. I'm talking about trash bag. Is one of them? I'm talking about slipper. slippery slippery
Starting point is 00:12:22 slippery joe no now you heard dad say the right name you don't have to say the wrong name I will penal yes you're right
Starting point is 00:12:28 okay Griffin I love you listen if you're gonna play a character whose big thing is like fast talking you can't be full of trash you gotta post some
Starting point is 00:12:37 non-air ball non-trash okay your crew is gonna take that pen from you and they're gonna kill you and I don't want that to happen
Starting point is 00:12:47 wait a minute what did you say they're gonna kill me they're going to to kill you. Wait. Have you been talking with gravel? Where is she?
Starting point is 00:12:57 Where's gravel? Montrose, can you give us a hint where you are? Well, I'll be honest. The fumes that I'm breathing underneath this stage are really get into my head. And so, Gravel is a member of the crew as well, yes? You know gravel.
Starting point is 00:13:17 You found her? Where is she? Which side of the stage, Montrose? Here, the fumes here at the front of the stage are so intense. Now, let me interrupt you. I think right now he is, the only reason this is working is because he is thrown, I think, by they had a plan. And Gravel's departure really threw a wrench and things. Right. He is, like, kind of off his guard.
Starting point is 00:13:40 And that is the only reason this is kind of maybe having an effect. Gravel's been pinched, son. Oh, they got her. They got. The Jack's got her. Jack Scott. But listen, it's not too late for you. I'm telling you, you can give up this.
Starting point is 00:13:57 Why did you say you was my dad? Because am I not your dad? It feels like it. He's going to leave. He's going to walk away. He doesn't know what you are. He doesn't know what the deal is. But you better get better at this soon.
Starting point is 00:14:15 Okay, okay. I am mostly trying to listen to me, son. When you go out the back of the stage to the back room, You're going to be intercepted. And I don't want to see you come to harm. I'm not your dad. Fine. You got me there.
Starting point is 00:14:28 I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. Beef yells, I'll get a broom from the back. And he's heading towards the back. All right. Listen, I don't know the deal. But I know I ain't getting pinched.
Starting point is 00:14:41 I careful the pin, fair and square. I'm out. Goodbye. I love you. All right then. And match sticks, starting scooting off pin in hand. Headed back towards the, um, back towards the, um, back towards. that. Now, okay, beef, I know that you have put the tube back. If you wanted to, during that
Starting point is 00:15:02 conversation, I think you would have had time to, like, adjust a position or change your position or go somewhere else. Where, where do you feel like, is that, do you want to stay by the pipe or is there anywhere else you want to, anything else you wanted to do in terms of repositioning during that conversation? Yeah, so hearing, getting all the, like, clues of the positioning and as you head back to the back, I'm going to, to like the closest, because I assume the stage is like up against a wall, right?
Starting point is 00:15:30 So it's open on three sides. So I'm going back to the side of the stage, the left side of the stage, closest to the exit or what have you. So that I'm like... Not the exit to the back. The door to the storage. Right.
Starting point is 00:15:43 And I'm like going to get... It's called the dock. By that. So I'm like standing by like, you know, on the other side of the door ready. Okay. For match sick. you're ready for MatchTech to come in.
Starting point is 00:15:56 Emrick, I'll grant you the same thing. You seem in a good position. Did you do anything during that conversation? I think he was just listening and marking where everybody is. Okay. You are, I would say, where you are maybe the panels like 10 feet from the door to the showroom, the show floor. So you get an idea. You can hang there if you want.
Starting point is 00:16:24 fine. It's you. There's two guys that were distracted. I think helping Dan find cereal if memory serves. Yeah, they're looking for beefberry crunch. They're looking for beefberry crunch. Yeah. But they probably have been distracted by all the action and the... They're still back there, but like, they're definitely like, I think there's probably, no, they wouldn't have like security monitors. Those would be upstairs. They're probably walking towards the door too, I mean, to go see what the commotion is. Yeah. And where is Eustace? I don't know. Do you send him with cereal? Yeah, you send him with a bunch of cereal outside. Yeah, he's probably dropped off the cereal boxes by now. Would he have returned to me or should I,
Starting point is 00:17:14 will I need to do another call? Do the, do the, um, I think that he's probably started to head back, but he's not back there yet. he's probably going to come back and see if he need anything else, I would imagine. Then I'm just going to wait. I'm just going to keep an eye on the two guys. And, no, I tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to look and see if there's an access from where Matchstick crawled under the platform to the back. Would that be?
Starting point is 00:17:49 You can look, there is, I will tell you this. There is none. It is flesh with the wall. He has somehow, at some point, I mean, it would have been. very easy for him to slip underneath there while you all weren't. Okay. So he's not coming back to where I am. He is.
Starting point is 00:18:02 Yes, he is, but he's going through the door. There's a door just directly back to where you are from, that's about 10 feet from the stage. Well, then I think he's just going to, I think Emrich's just going to stay in place. Okay. And keep an eye out for him. Okay. Matchstick has skittered out from underneath and you see him like, punch him. No.
Starting point is 00:18:23 But matchstick skitters out from underneath. and you see his mantras, you see his body language change. He's suddenly, like, frightened. I think you said mantras. I think he meant amic. No, I meant mantras because you can see from underneath the state. Oh, okay, sorry, sorry. He just skittered away from you, and you see him, like, stand up, because I assume you're following,
Starting point is 00:18:39 at least close enough to see what's happening. You see him, like, stand up, and he's instantly, like, terrified. He is blending in to this crowd. Wait, he came out from under the stage? He came out from under the stage. I'm going to grab him. That's what I'm standing there for. You're in the back.
Starting point is 00:18:53 I thought you were in the back. No, no, no, no. I was standing like on, sorry, when I said on the other side of the door, I meant if the stage is on the right, I am on the left of the door. Okay, you're grabbing him. Let's call this. I feel. So skirmish to, because it's like wrestle, right? Mm-hmm. Okay. By the way, I am going to just for me mainly to try to get this in the habit of using it. I'm going to change the token. that is tracking the rival thieves progress to, we're going to call it three.
Starting point is 00:19:34 Whoa. They're pretty close now. They were further than you knew. That was not a gradual ticking up. You just discovered they were a lot further than you realized. Okay. So when you're close, I have a clock that is tracking their progress. They have like they are five eighths of the way done.
Starting point is 00:19:51 Would you call this risky or desperate? Well, I would call grabbing him risky. Okay. And it's a standard effect because you're just trying to grab him. Okay. I'm not going to push myself just yet. That's a four and a four. Four and a four.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Okay. You grab matchstick. And, whoa, you pit, he's not a very strong. You can tell he's like the infiltration. person, you know what I mean? Like he's not very strong, you got him. And he immediately, as soon as you grab him, yells out towards the vloggers,
Starting point is 00:20:34 help, help, I'm being captured by beloved Beef Punchley. What now? The vloggers turn with their cameras, and of all of the interesting things happening in the room, fucking Beef Punchley, grabbing this man who
Starting point is 00:20:51 seems to be so slight and afraid is definitely the most interesting thing happening in the room. What now? I am going to, you know what? Okay. I say, this man is one of the thieves. I saw his partner take off
Starting point is 00:21:09 out the back. He was wearing a red hood. Go, get him. Who will be the one to capture the arrest on film? Okay, wait, let me think. So, you're trying to sway the
Starting point is 00:21:25 vloggers to stop filming you. I'm trying to command them. You're trying to command the bloggers to stop filming you and to go to the back to film an imaginary accomplice. Is that where we're at? Correct. Okay. And this is the new beef voice by the way. I'm not doing traffic. I command you. I am beef, right? You didn't want to commit to the growl. Okay. Yeah, no, that would destroy. Yeah. Yeah. It's rough. Yeah. Take it from the fear bowl. Yeah. It's not a great life. All right, Charlie. You're trying to sway the vloggers. I'm trying to command them, Command, command, command, command, command, command those vloggers.
Starting point is 00:21:57 With my very physical presence? I will say this is, I mean, you overreach your capabilities. You're in serious trouble. Does that feel, I mean, it feels a little desperate because if this doesn't work, like, you're ruined. I mean, this is really bad. I would say desperate. Okay. Does that feel good?
Starting point is 00:22:20 I mean, this is a conversation. Yes. This is a conversation. I mean, well, basically because I'm kind of. challenging his claim, right? So it definitely feels like if he is contested. Yeah, I'm contesting it, right? So like it definitely feels more than just risky because I'm not instigating the action.
Starting point is 00:22:41 Yeah. So I am not just like trying to convince them. I'm trying to command them over his command. Okay. Yeah, you know what? I like this because you're leveraging your position. Is there anything else that anyone wants to say before I roll the dice? Are you rolling to?
Starting point is 00:23:02 No. No, no, no, before Travis rolls the dice. Thank you, Travis, of course. Can I Griffin say this is a bad idea? No, no, no. I'm not going to allow any table talk. But if you want to do something to assist him, you may. Because we haven't really talked about it, there's a couple of different ways you can employ teamwork here.
Starting point is 00:23:19 You can take one stress to give another player one dice. That's the Dias dice. You can also set up another character with your action. If you achieve it, any team members who follow up get one plus one effect or improved position. So I don't think you could set, I mean, you could retroactively say you set them up if you want. We could do a flashback. But I think that if you wanted to assist, either of you, if you can find a logical way of doing it, I would allow it. Justin, can I instigate a flashback?
Starting point is 00:23:53 Hmm. Yes, you can't. can. Okay. Here's what I, you know, let me, you know what, Traff? Let me hear the flashback. Is this our first flashback? Yeah, what happened, Traff? So as, I wasn't there for this.
Starting point is 00:24:06 So, please. Yeah, as we're hurrying over to the prize pantry, the three of them are still like, you know, hurriedly talking. And beef says like, no, when, when this is done, right, we're going to need some way to explain why the pen is gone, right? So we're going to need somebody to pin it on. That was hysterical. Ah, thank you.
Starting point is 00:24:30 Amrik, are you able to, like, can you use a hard light thing to, like, create a scapegoat? Well, I'm, I certainly, I certainly can. I don't, I could probably command an existing hard light construct to take the fall. Yeah, just, I mean, they don't have to take a go. We just have to point to somebody to say they did it, right? And then once they're like clear sight lines, poof, they're a beat again, right? And then it's nobody knows, right? I definitely, I can do that, yes.
Starting point is 00:25:10 All right. So, let me give me just one second to make sure I can. In place of the dark, flashbacks don't distinguish between what is happening now and what's happened before. You can say something happened before. I'm going to say that the stress that you will take on from this is dependent on how likely or unlikely. I would say that this is like a one.
Starting point is 00:25:42 It's unlikely just because you've never done anything like this before. And I feel like you wouldn't necessarily pop into your head like, oh, we should have this idea. We should do that. You know, that would be a lot of preparation for you considering how sort of like slapdash this all was. But I will grant it to you for one stress. For me? Or for me?
Starting point is 00:26:01 No, it's your flashback. Okay, yeah, I'll take it. I need to be careful. So, Dad, if you are game with this flashback, then you, Dad, can use a, you can use a tinker, I think, would be how you would set this up. Well, maybe a tune or command. A tune. Actually, it would be a tune. You're right, Dad, because it's like a hard light thing. So what do you want to do? Play it out. What would be your response? Okay, my response would be to communicate with Eustace and tell him to stop in the doorway and yell out,
Starting point is 00:26:43 You'll never take me alive and have him run back out the door. So he is running. So I'm sorry. Tell him. Tell you about the geography of this that you... Okay, Eustis was on his way into the showroom. Okay, so you're going to have Eustis run back out. I have it. He should be out. I'd say he...
Starting point is 00:27:04 I mean, we said he hadn't come back in. Yeah, but he's probably made it back by now. So he's just entered back into the warehouse. Can you change his appearance at all? Now, that probably would be Tinker, wouldn't it? Yeah, yeah, probably. Actually, I like that division. Yeah, I, yes, I can.
Starting point is 00:27:21 And to make it look like he has a hood on? Yeah. Yeah. That's what I would think. I think I want to say you don't need to roll for a tune. He's already attuned to you, okay? Right. So let's assume that that's happen.
Starting point is 00:27:32 Let's go with a tinker roll to see if you, his, you can make him have a red hood and he'll, you know, run out the door and, and, et cetera. Okay. Yeah, let's just do it. Let's just do it. Okay. Tinker. You got it. yeah
Starting point is 00:27:51 standard this is yeah this is not a big effect for you okay yes baby three and a six a six okay so eustis
Starting point is 00:28:04 eustis is on point like not only did you give him a red hood he like gets it right he is into this this character uh but because you have talked him through
Starting point is 00:28:16 like what what this is going to mean so you see uh uh the door open. Hello, everyone. I'm the criminal you're looking for today. My papa said that I needed to do a crime. So here I go.
Starting point is 00:28:34 And then he used this in a red hood, uh, sprints out the front door of prize pantry. And yeah, that's, uh, I think that that's enough. Trabb, I think that's enough. Oh, yeah? I mean, right? Who would keep filming beef in this moment? Yeah, like you're filming that guy. There's a guy with a red hood, for God's sake.
Starting point is 00:29:01 Yeah. A live reading from Rachel's Poetry Corner. Elephants, theremin's Clifton, Neopets, Por Strip's Jepson. Pine-smell jelly beans, goly goals. Skittles, squirrels, and the mole. Celery chopsticks, pumpernickel. A Case of You by Joni Mitchell. Lullaby's tied.
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Starting point is 00:30:37 cat and knocking the clean laundry over. Okay, Trav. Yeah. The red hood is, people are filming the vloggers. You've got matchstick. Emric, you just communicated with Eustace. Let's check in on Montrose. Montrose, you're under the stage. You see Beef has matchstick, you know, in captivity, I guess. Here's what I will say to you all.
Starting point is 00:31:20 You've stopped the rival thieves clock for right now. I do think, and I'm not going to necessarily make a clock for this because it's moving very quickly, but the guards are like they're on high alert. A couple of them have chased after Eustace. I think there are more heading towards the heading towards the back because that's where he just came from. And also they are going to try to search him for the pen.
Starting point is 00:31:47 Search Eustace for the pen? Okay. I'm going to search matchstick. They're probably going to do both. But right now, Beef has made a citizen's arrest, so it falls in your court. I'm going to crawl out from under the stage toward beef and matchstick. Okay.
Starting point is 00:32:09 You're right there. I mean, you are, they didn't make it far at all. I stand up and I look at matchstick and I said, I tried to warn you. Why didn't you listen? And I'm going to start. Matchstick, by the way, is, fuck. He had like one moment of like, oh, God. I fucking got this dude.
Starting point is 00:32:29 I don't know why Beef Punchley is grabbing me, but I fucking got him. He's good at this. Yeah. When he saw a Hard Light fake criminal that he did not know run out, and I'm not sure, by the way, with Hard Light, that you would instantly, like, I don't think that it would instantly occur to you, right? Especially in this kind of moment that it was a Hard Light projection. It just looked like another criminal that he did not know that was running away. So he's flipping out. I think Hard Lights will look realistic because that's the whole concept.
Starting point is 00:32:57 Right, for sure. All right, Steve Jobs. Let's just keep going with the crime. No, wait a minute. It's a really good question and one that, like, I think we'll have. They don't look like a ghost. I don't think we need to address it right now, but you're right, dad, that we will need to figure this out. I think right now, in this situation, it's fine.
Starting point is 00:33:15 I also think it helps you roll the six, right? So, like, he looked convincing. It worked, right? I'm going to look at beef and say, hold him real still. and I'm going to start grabbing at matchstick. Like I am also trying to citizens arrest him. But really I would like to try and pick his pocket, get that pin away from him. Okay.
Starting point is 00:33:42 Is that finesse? Yeah, that'd be finesse. That'd be a finesse roll. I think it is pretty desperate because you are a man that has just crawled out from underneath a stage and has started searching to this person's pockets. Can I get some help from beef? holding him still. Yeah, I think Beef,
Starting point is 00:34:01 if Beef wanted to take the stress could assist you in this endeavor. Oh, I don't have a lot of stress left, but yeah, man, I'm gonna need. We'll hit the sauna after this. The sauna. I'm gonna need to hit the casino, but yes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:17 So finesse roll, this is desperate. Now, here's the thing, same team. I have a sprained ankle, which according to the rules of Blades in the Dark, means my effect is reduced for the relevant, in a relevant scenario. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:37 Is this a relevant? I'm asking you if I. I don't know if it's, I don't think your sprained ankle is relevant to this, no. So, desperate standard? Desperate standard. Plus one, plus one from? Yeah, desperate standard.
Starting point is 00:34:50 Plus one from B. That's the time zone Griffin lives in. Yeah, yeah. Desper standard time. Do you, uh, I, say, and you're helping me, Beef? Did you mark the stress? Yes, I did. Is it just one stress to assist?
Starting point is 00:35:00 Yeah, just one. All right. Six of nine. Oh, God. Here goes nothing. Fuck me. Well, it's got a mixed. 4, 3, 2.
Starting point is 00:35:11 One. Blast off. Mixed six. And I'll remind you, he thinks I'm his dad. Well. Okay. You do it, but, uh, here's, here's, let me know. How does this grab?
Starting point is 00:35:26 Because it says you can have less of a desired effect. How about you figure out by patting him down while he's searching him, you figure out that it's in his left hand pocket, his left coat pocket, but you don't have the time to, he's wiggling too bad, and you are having trouble getting it out. So you can't get it out, but you know where it is. Okay. Does that seem fair? Sure.
Starting point is 00:35:47 Okay. For a four on a desperate? Okay. Stop wiggling. And give us the pen. Your life depends on it. listen, I know what this is worth. You can't... And I think he's still fighting you.
Starting point is 00:36:02 I think that he's going to like try to... I think at that moment matchstick pulls out from his thigh a knife and he's going to try to stab you, Beef. Okay. When Beef sees the knife, he is going to let himself be stabbed, but he wants to finesse the positioning. Holy fucking shit, dude.
Starting point is 00:36:27 Okay, I mean, yeah. So I'm trying to position it so that I'm getting stabbed, like not in an organ, right? A good step. Yeah. You would have that awareness, for sure. I think if there has ever been a desperate role, I think, I think trying to get stabbed right would be way up there. Trying to get stabbed in a cool way would definitely be a desperate play. Let's see it.
Starting point is 00:36:53 Okay. Art of stabbing right. So that's in finesse. Right? Because I'm trying to position myself, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's desperate.
Starting point is 00:37:02 Oh, it's desperate. And I think the effect is, I mean, I'm, great effect would be not getting stabbed. Yeah. I feel like this is just your standard, stabbing, positional move. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:18 Limited is you get to say your goodbyes before you die. And then this is like right in the middle of those. And any bonus dice? No. Not to getting stabbed cool. Okay. Uh, here we go. A three.
Starting point is 00:37:33 God bless it. Uh, I am, uh... Can I assist him by trying to grab the hand that has the knife in it? Not after the fact. Fuck me. Uh, okay, so Trav, you got three on a desperate. Here's what's gonna happen, Trev. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:37:51 So he, uh, uh, uh, stabs you. Yeah. And when he stabs you, it just really, man, it hurts. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it really hurts. You don't know why necessarily you thought this would work, but you do take two,
Starting point is 00:38:13 level two harm. So that's going to mean you're losing a D. That's one less D for you. Okay. And- On all roles? Your character suffers the penalty indicated at the end of the row if any or all harm recorded in that row applies the situation at hand. Okay.
Starting point is 00:38:31 Okay. Does that make sense? So it's not like you lose a diet. I would say being stabbed applies to most. If I was stabbed, I think that that would be front of mind for most things I'm having you. Right. And it is moderate because it's a deep cut, right? It's a deep cut.
Starting point is 00:38:51 It is a level two harm. Okay. um traf but here's what i will say when you got stabbed all of a sudden the guards see that and the uh uh vloggers who haven't you know filmed montrose everyone is 100% on board with you being the good guy here like this is yours to lose at this point you do take the harm but i think it's more interesting if is that the intended effect am i interpreting what you were going for? Yes, yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:39:25 Okay, perfect. That has worked. You're going to take that old, that old stabberusky right in your punching arm. All right. And sleeperhold time. Can he not do a resistance role now that he's actively been attacked? Now, he could. Yes, Dad, yes, he could.
Starting point is 00:39:40 He could attempt to avoid the stress if you want. That's a great point. Dad, thank you for introducing that. You could try to resist that damage if he wants to, Tref. At the cost of stress if you... Oh, boy. Take a lot of stress. to do it.
Starting point is 00:39:54 I'm already pretty stressed. You could take a lot of stress. You could take no stress. I don't know. So I would be rolling. I'm trying, I'm looking at up. Resistance, page 11. You're good at resisting prowess, I will say.
Starting point is 00:40:08 Yeah, if you suffer six stress when you resist, minus the highest die result from the resistance roll. So if you roll a six, okay. So you take no stress. Okay, hold on though. Because right now, I only have three left until I hit a trauma. and this is our first thing. Yeah, yeah, it really is.
Starting point is 00:40:25 But I love it. This is good stuff. With my prowess. Here's our will say, Trav, in the interest of show and in the interest of keeping this feeling immediate, I need a decision quickly. Yeah, I'm just going to take the hit because I think in the moment that was what I was trying to do, right? So I've taken the hit and now I'm going to put him in a sleeper hold. I did not want to instigate violence. I want to seem like I am responding.
Starting point is 00:40:54 to violence to continue my hero rhetoric. You stabbed me! Okay, so you're putting him in a sleeper hold. That definitely is going to impact the arm will figure into that full stop. But let's go ahead and get that probably a skirmish. I'm going to assist in the sleeper hold. Okay, how? I'm just going to push that bloody arm in super hard.
Starting point is 00:41:22 Yeah, hell yeah. Right on the throat meat. Okay. This is like a tag match. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Would you say this is risky or desperate?
Starting point is 00:41:34 No, I think that this is back down to risky. I mean, like, you took the stab, but like, he doesn't really understand why this is continuing to be an ongoing situation. So I have a bonus dice from Griffin? Yes. Okay. Minus one dice. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:41:51 So your highest is two. Jesus Christ. It's a fucking pin, guys. It's a pin. We're doing all this for a pen. Okay, I think that he, you know what, Trave, I'm sorry. I think he elbows you in the stomach and starts sprinting towards the back. Montres is on the ground.
Starting point is 00:42:15 Leaving his nice behind. Montres is with beef. They just been like thrown off. He's running back towards the back. Emrick, Emrick, coming your way. Emmerich, yeah, Emmerick, you're the only one back there. He's got the pen. You know it's in the left-hand pocket.
Starting point is 00:42:32 Let's say that that information was communicated to you. Go. Act, save the day. Emric tackles him. Emirc tackles him. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, I was going to say, you're so little. All right, this brings up, okay.
Starting point is 00:42:49 Here's what I will say, Dad. you have been standing back there for a little while. I think the two workers back there are watching the scene through a window. They are not necessarily paying attention to you. There is a window there. There is a window here where I would allow you a flashback if there's something you wanted to like try to set up. But it's your call.
Starting point is 00:43:13 All right. Let's talk about weapons. Okay. Let's talk about weapons. Some of them are cool. Some of them are cool and some of them are bad and most of them are bad. So for weapons in this game or any sort of item, you don't say beforehand that you're taking them. What you do is you say how much of a load.
Starting point is 00:43:34 Now we, I think we all settled on... I think we did discuss load last time. I think we're all rolling in light. Except I'm all rolling on light. You're normal. And you're normal. So, Emric, what are you thinking here, bud? Well, that's just it.
Starting point is 00:43:51 This is one of the mechanics I don't understand, and maybe you guys can help me. I came up with an idea for a weapon for Emmerich, and I don't know if I need to set it up in a flashback or just use it. Here's what I would say. In order for this to be logical, I don't think you would have time to set up a weapon if you can justify some tool that you just have. as part of your, you know, that you... It's your everyday carry. You know what I mean? Like, you didn't build a gun, but if you, like, thought, like, I'm going to take this, you know...
Starting point is 00:44:30 Cain. Cain, you know, whatever. Any tool, right? It could be any tool just can't... I don't think a weapon makes sense. As a prompt, though, there is an unusual weapon, which includes a whip, a flail, a hatchet, a shovel, a length of chain, a razor-edged fan, steel-toed boots as examples. A curiosity or tool turned into a weapon.
Starting point is 00:44:49 Yeah. Yeah. And he carries, in the list of stuff on the character sheet, he has a lightning hook. He can, right? Like, he can get up. But I didn't set up ahead of time. That doesn't matter. That doesn't matter.
Starting point is 00:45:03 That doesn't matter. This is what I'm saying, though. You can say, I grabbed my lightning hook from the, I don't even know what a fucking lightning hook is, but okay. And that's not a flashback. That's just one of the mechanics. You just have to spend your... I have a move.
Starting point is 00:45:17 I have a move. Great. Okay. We've been talking about hard light. We've been talking about, you know, using that. And what I had thought was that probably to manipulate hard light, they would use a series of like prisms. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:45:35 And so I would think that would be included in his tinkering tools, which he has been using and does carry. Right. Okay. So I would say that he reaches into his tinkering tools and throws a whole handful. of prisms on the floor. Cal-trips. In front of match stick. Fuck, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:57 Are these prisms that you've programmed, or are they just, like, dead, dead weight? I think they're just prisms. I mean, we haven't, no, I'm not going to let him activate him. I think that would be too powerful. I just think he throws these solid glass, I mean, crystal.
Starting point is 00:46:13 Oh, I love that. Slippery glass prisms on the floor in front of. Here's what I'm doing, Dad. Here's what I'm doing. I'm changing what, like, you can edit this sheet. So I took, I'm changing this to prisms. So I'm saying you have your prisms with you. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:30 Okay. I don't think I can count that as just like tinkering tools because it's something. You're not using this as a tool. You're using this as a caltrop. So I'm going to make them a separate thing. But yes, you do have those. You throw them on the ground. What action would this be?
Starting point is 00:46:46 Um, Tinker? I think it, okay, wreck a place item or obstacle with savage force or carefully applied sabotage. Yeah, that feels like it, right? Does that feel right, wreck or like? So Tinker is Tinker with mechanisms to create, modify, disable, repair, disable a trap, pick a lock. Well, it also says under Wreck, create distractions and chaos. Dad, I'm going to say this is finesse.
Starting point is 00:47:13 You're throwing, you're trying to land these. where they go. Does that, does that feel fair? Tinker just feels too static for what we're doing. Like, I feel like this is finesse, trying to throw them in the right place. Okay, I have zero in finesse. You can't, if you have zero infidess, then you can push yourself. Right. And if you push yourself, you can take an extra dye. So that would put you at once. You can roll one die if you push yourself.
Starting point is 00:47:41 Or if you don't, you roll two die and take the lower result. That's what you do for zero. Right. But those are worse odds. I think it's very important, so I'm going to push myself. Okay. Now, make sure to mark your stress. Justin, sorry, I can't remember if we talked about this first episode. Does him using an item just create the opportunity?
Starting point is 00:47:59 Yes. Okay, great. Yes. Please get a say. Okay, so I push myself. Items are almost more narrative in this game. I mean, it really. You can get, like, better items that I think do lend you an edge, but you have to, like, invent.
Starting point is 00:48:14 Yeah. Invent them or discover them or. Okay, so what am I? Roll one. Roll finesse with one bonus dice. Yeah. So that's one die. Roll one die for finesse with one bonus die.
Starting point is 00:48:26 Yeah, thank you, Griffin. Risky or desperate? I think it's desperate, right? This feels desperate to me. Yeah. Yeah. Standard? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:37 Come on, please. Finesh. Yes, baby. Yes. Yes. Yes. It's a six. Yes, dad, you're so good at games.
Starting point is 00:48:46 You're so good at games, Dad, the game master. I got a six to drop stuff. I love you so much. You dropped it. Emmerich, I think that you're like... You are McCauley Culkin. You are Kevin. Emmerick, you surprise yourself.
Starting point is 00:49:02 Like, you reach into your pocket and you're not even really thinking about what's happening. You see him coming and you just almost instinctually like, right? Like you throw them out and he is running. whole blast and he goes down so fucking hard. Like he goes down really hard and falls over these cowtrops and is now like lying on the ground exposed and he's like completely caught unawares. That is the moment that you see him like sort of fall, YouTube back there. So the doors are still open.
Starting point is 00:49:34 You see him fall. What happens now? Yeah. There's three of us. I'm going to help Montrose hobble over there. quick as a wink fucking get that damn pen and then get out
Starting point is 00:49:48 okay you should also know that the guards are now running towards the back as well because they were trying to they saw him get away they saw him stab you he is a persona this is a big deal there's three
Starting point is 00:50:02 guards let's say that are not running because I think it's too crowded and like sort of wild they're like pushing through the crowd we just have to get to them first then, right? Yeah, go. All right.
Starting point is 00:50:15 Yeah. You got to lead. You're close to the door, but I'm just saying that that is happening. Yeah, we're going. Okay, what do you do? He's on the ground. What do you do? I'm going to try and take that pin out of his fucking pocket, and I would love my road dogs to help me with that maneuver.
Starting point is 00:50:29 Yeah. Okay, so you're going to try to finesse it out again while he's, like, lying on the ground and squirming. Yes. I put my foot on the back of his neck. Oh, God. Yeah. What are you? Emerit, can you?
Starting point is 00:50:42 You get the ankles. Okay. Sure. You want to help restrain him? Yeah, I had an idea about that, but I'll just... No, no, no, bud. This is all ideas. Do it.
Starting point is 00:50:56 I was going to use maybe a couple of the prisms to manifest a couple of hard light hands. You have hands. I know. I know. I was trying to be flashy. You don't have time for flashy. I wouldn't suggest it. right now, Dad, you're in a pretty chaotic situation,
Starting point is 00:51:15 and you just did a cool thing. I don't think you need to dampen your vibe. Okay, then I tell you what. I thought that guy was a real smooth operator, then he made hands. Yes. How about if I just lay across his legs? Would that feel on?
Starting point is 00:51:30 Sure. Can I just lay on it? I love it. You lay across his legs. This is perfect. Okay, Griffin, let's get that finesse roll. And start gathering up my presence. And you know what, Griff?
Starting point is 00:51:39 I actually, I think this is skirmish. You know where it is. you're not trying to fool anybody. I'm going to say this is skirmish. You're not trying to finesse it out. You're trying to take it from him. Can I make an argument that I am trying to take it out? I don't want the guards to see me take it out of his pocket.
Starting point is 00:51:59 Right? That is the worst. Okay. So you're trying to make it look like you are restraining. Assisting in the citizens arrest. Of course. Okay. Okay, fine.
Starting point is 00:52:09 Yes. Okay, fine. Position. I would say it's risk. I mean, it's, yeah, I'm going to say it's risky. Okay. And it's standard. You know where it is.
Starting point is 00:52:17 Okay. So I have, they're helping me, right? So I get one bonus dice from each of them. Okay. I'm going to push myself also. Yeah. Excellent. Okay.
Starting point is 00:52:28 So that's three, that's three fucking bonus dice. One of them statistically, I think mathematically, one of them has to be a six. That's math. God bless it. That's a five. Wow. Five. Okay.
Starting point is 00:52:44 You roll five dice. You got it. And the, you wrestled it away from him. I would say the guards are, it took a little bit longer than you wanted. The guards are getting in closer. You probably have like one move. I put it in my mouth. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:06 The guards kick open the door and they grab matchstick. It's easy. He's like, and they're like gingerly walking around. What on the hell is going on? I don't know, Gary. This is very strange. Well, Tom, let's get this guy. What?
Starting point is 00:53:23 They all sound remarkably alike. Oh, sorry, I thought I was bringing a different energy. No, they could just be brothers. I'll work on it. Sure. I'll work on it. Okay. And they start grabbing Matchstick.
Starting point is 00:53:36 Pat him down. Pat him down. Okay, and they pat Matchstick down. Matchstick is not putting up much of a fight. I think he really doesn't know what the situation is right now. And they pat him down and find there is no pen. Hmm. And they've already caught Eustace.
Starting point is 00:53:58 See, Eustace can't manifest outside of prize pantry. So when Eustace hit the door, he just kind of dissolved. So that distraction definitely worked, but they know that they don't have the pen. Search it out. Gentlemen, if I may. Whoa, beef punchly. Yes, it's me. America's Beef Punchley.
Starting point is 00:54:23 Are you okay? We got to get you binged up. No, no. No, no. It was the least I could do to protect this wonderful playground of ours. But perhaps if I may suggest, the vacuum into the cereal. Search the cereal. Oh, they were working with some real smooth operations.
Starting point is 00:54:44 here, aren't we, Tom? Yeah, Gary, it seems like we are. We've got some real bad dudes. Let's check the cereal pile. Thanks, beef. Beef, that's what they will say if you roll properly. Let's go ahead and see.
Starting point is 00:55:00 Let's go ahead and see. Got a little carried away with myself lost in the moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go ahead and get a... That's just a little sampling of what success will like. At party. We have in store for you. I get that.
Starting point is 00:55:15 I get that. I get that. I get that. Let's see. What is the, is it risky, desperate? What am I doing here? It's not desperate because they don't know the pins in Montrose's fucking mouth. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:29 But it is risky. And it's a standard effect. Like, they're on board with you. Yeah. Like, they like it. Oh, my God. Fuck me. Wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:55:37 It's not command though, right? You're lying. Yeah. Yeah. I think that you're trying. Well, lying doesn't necessarily. Sway someone with charm, logic, deception, disguiser, bluff. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's a deception.
Starting point is 00:55:51 Yeah, Trav, let's try that again as a, and we should probably agree on those before we roll them. Yeah. So we can, eventually, I think we'll get to a place where we don't have to, but right now. I have, so I have zero in sway. And I can't really, push for command. Yeah, I can't push myself because I'm already at seven stress. So if there's any way, Amrik or Montrose can. Can help me?
Starting point is 00:56:16 Now is the time. Can I emphatically point to the cereal? Well, I can maybe take a devil's bargain. No, no, it'll assist. That'll assist. Yeah, take a stress, Montres. I am at, I'm at eight stress. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:56:33 It's been a day. Yeah, I mean, listen, it's been a big day for everybody. Are you full? Are you taking trauma? Nine is full. Nine is full. Okay. I will warn you, if you fill up your stress, you're out. Emmerick only has one stress.
Starting point is 00:56:48 That's great. Can you also emphatically point? There's one. No, sorry. Only, I think only one person can assist in each thing. Okay. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:56:58 Well, if he, if he chooses not to because he doesn't want to take the stress. Yeah. Can you emphatically fucking point? I, or something. Something to back him up, Dad. Um, okay. Um, yes. Um, I think, um, I think, um, um,
Starting point is 00:57:13 Emrick will look in that direction and say, I thought I saw a glint of something metallic in the cereal as well. I believe beef is on to something here. Oh, Jesus Christ. All right, beef, you rolled a sway. You got a three. Destined. It was destiny.
Starting point is 00:57:49 You got two threes in your commander roll. Should he have not gotten an extra? I did. No, he did. It took him up from none to one. Beef is just not good at convincing. I don't know why I keep trying to convince me. If only beef had the pen in his mouth.
Starting point is 00:58:03 Yeah. Open your mouth. Hold on, hold on. Okay, well, this is he. Kiss me, Montrose. Kiss him. Kiss him. This is easy. All right.
Starting point is 00:58:13 Gary, you keep holding the perp. Okay, Tom. I'm going to go check the cereal. Sounds like a plan. So Gary goes over to check the serial, and Tom is still there holding, you know, he has matchstick in custody. Okay.
Starting point is 00:58:33 Nope, it's clear. And he comes back. It looks good. Hey, you two. Did you all see anything? And then they turn to the guards. Uh, yeah, no, the, uh, one of the, the, not the guards, the, uh, the workers in the warehouse we're watching.
Starting point is 00:58:51 Make them Australian. Oh, okay. Oh. Just say crikey. No, that's offensive. There's way more to it than that. I feel like I've watched enough blue. Doesn't it feel like I've watched some bluey? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:05 No, they're Australian. You can do it. Okay. No, you got stuck. Hey. Yeah, we saw it. Yeah, we did. He got stuck in the tube. It's back towards the front. Crocky.
Starting point is 00:59:21 And the guards rush out back towards the door, and it's just you three and the two workers. As soon as the guards are out of sight, one of the workers reaches into his outfit and pulls out a very, very nasty looking short sword and puts it up to your throat, Emric, and says, Let's have it. Let's have it. The other one goes to Matros. Come on. I know one of you got it. Let's have it. It's Matchstick. His two accomplices, Slipper and Trashbag
Starting point is 01:00:01 have been the two workers the entire time. Is my foot still on match? Now they're going to take it back. What? Is my foot still on Matchstick's neck? No, they took Matchstick with them to go search the other ones. He wouldn't leave him behind. So Matchstick is gone.
Starting point is 01:00:19 And where is the pin? In my fucking mouth. In Montrose's mouth. There are knives to the throats of Emrick and Montrose and beef. They have another knife pointed at you. Let's say, two knives. Yeah, I know. They've got you at odds.
Starting point is 01:00:35 They really got the job on you guys. What do you do? Describe the room for me. Where are we in the warehouse? What are we looking at? Right. So you're near the door, probably about five feet from the door. there is a
Starting point is 01:00:48 there's like a loading door on the back where you can imagine like trucks pulling up to the right of you is the alarm panel that you just that Emrick hacked and there's you know piles and piles of boxes there's a huge like sort of like a dumpster covered in plastic wrap
Starting point is 01:01:09 like a big bag is stretched out over cross it that's where the cereal is going and you are about halfway between the door to the show floor and the loading bay door, which is currently shuttered. Okay. I have to say, I don't think Eustace would cotton to this idea of his papa dad being threatened at knife point.
Starting point is 01:01:31 Unfortunately, Dad, Eustace disintegrated. I mean, he's not dead or anything, but like, you didn't give him orders beyond. You gave him orders to do the distraction. I don't think you can just say he's back. We used him. Okay. In this moment, it's about what you can do right now. Right.
Starting point is 01:01:50 And how close am I to these two baddies? You are, call it, you're out of arm's reach, right? But they can't stab you, but if you get much closer, you're going to be in stabbing range. Okay. I have the pin. Hey, what? Yeah, I grabbed it while I had him. Hey, are you beef punchly?
Starting point is 01:02:10 I am, the slam and slab, the mountain of meat. and I grabbed the pin while I was holding him. Oh, you got it off him. Right. Okay. Well, you give it over then. And I think Slipper points both of his knives over to you. And Slipper was holding which one?
Starting point is 01:02:33 Let's say Montrose. Okay. So Montrose, he kind of shoves you away. And Beef goes to and starts. headed towards beef. He shoves me away, so I have like a moment away. Oh, wait a minute. Travis, you have to roll for that to see if it works. Well, now, here's what I
Starting point is 01:02:51 will say, Jamion, in conversation. Does he have any reason to believe I don't have it? I guess not. But like, why would you volunteer that you have it? Because I'm America's Beef Punchley and he's got knives on the front. Yeah, but there are
Starting point is 01:03:08 thieves. They're clearly thieves. Like, why would you give it over to the thieves? If it's not a sway roll, I need to know why they would believe you. Oh, okay, hold on. And I don't want to, I need like something very, very logical or else we're going to need to sway them. Um, okay. I, okay, I am going to quick flash a token from my pocket, from the arcade that we worked at. Nobody knows what the pen looks like. They have not seen the pin yet. So I am going to flash the pin or flash the token and then close it in my hands. Okay.
Starting point is 01:03:51 So I'm going to call that finesse. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'll grant it. Would you say this is risky or desperate? I'd say it's risky.
Starting point is 01:04:02 Because they don't know. I mean, you know, it works. It doesn't. Like. It's a five. Okay. I think that, uh, yeah. With a five, uh, that's enough.
Starting point is 01:04:13 He maybe is not like. he's a little bit uneasy. You know what he's going to do? He's going to keep a knife pointed towards Montrose. His attention is no longer on Montrose. He just has the knife there to try to keep him docile, and he's coming towards you. Okay.
Starting point is 01:04:31 That's my thing. Let's have it. He's pointing the knife right at you, Beef. Let's have it. I look at Beef and try to, like, decide if he gets stabbed again, if he'll die. And then I look at Emmerich and decide very quickly that if he gets stabbed once, he will definitely die. And because he's so, because he's not beef.
Starting point is 01:04:56 And I'm going to start coughing. Well, wait, can I cough with a pin in my mouth? Yes. You're an incredible scoundrel. You can cough with a pit in your mouth. Okay. Yeah, definitely. I can do it.
Starting point is 01:05:14 I just put a pin in my mouth. practice. Oh, good. I grab my chest as I'm like coughing. And then in one swift movement, I want to turn to the guy that has a knife to Emmerick and withdraw the trance powder that I have in my breast pocket and just kind of throw it in his face. Okay. I think this is finesse. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Oh, by the way, you have a pin in your mouth? right now and you're faking coughing, if this goes bad, it's going to go so fucking bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What position would you say I am in?
Starting point is 01:05:52 You're in a desperate position because you have a knife point. Cranking up the X-A. This, I will say this. This mission, probably from a fungible perspective and a sort of just sort of physical perspective, pretty bad. But from, I think we're learning a lot. Oh, we're learning so much on the job. Yeah, for sure.
Starting point is 01:06:09 Effect. Standard? I mean, it's Transpouter. You're wanting it to do what Transpouter does. Yeah. Okay. All right. please.
Starting point is 01:06:17 God. That's a three. Three. I mean, the trans powder's coming out. Someone's about to go on just a psychedelic journey. Yeah. What is the trans powder do, Griffin? Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:06:41 What's the trans powder do? Okay, so trans powder. Well, it says here in the book, Joel said, it heals beef for his damage. What? Wild. That's incredible. A glittering blue powder induces a pleasant, hypnotic trans,
Starting point is 01:06:54 and inhaled. Okay. All right. You chuck the trans powder at, uh, uh, what's his face? That was holding Emmerick. You were, you chucked the trans powder at Slipper, I believe we said. And the, uh, there is still the, uh, the vacuum where it's broken. It's blowing like blowing a lot out, a blow, blowing a lot of air.
Starting point is 01:07:23 So you chucked the trans powder and I think a cloud of it just blows right back in your face and you are now in a you're a stay there very very chill with a pin in your mouth and i'm probably insane you're like why is there a fucking pin in your mouth this is wild this isn't food um his attention is uh back on on you he's coming he's coming for you now uh montrose as soon as he turns back to mantros and i think you know what i think that that kind of move that probably draws trash bag too. All three of them are headed your way. Three of them?
Starting point is 01:08:01 Sorry, all two of them, both of them. All two of them is not a thing. Both of them are headed your way. Go. So do they take the knife off of Emmerich? Yes. All knives. All knives out.
Starting point is 01:08:10 All knives on me. Okay. As soon as what's his face? Trashbag takes the knife off of me. I'm going to kick him in the small of the back. Thank you. There's violence for you.
Starting point is 01:08:26 Scirmish his ass. And since this isn't my arm, I would argue that this is not minus a dye. That's fair. You're kicking, baby. You don't lose any dyes for kicking when you got an arm cut. Would you say it's risky or what? It's risky, yeah. It's risky.
Starting point is 01:08:42 And the impact, the input, the effect? Probably a standard effect. All right, here we go. Kicking his ass. Oh, my thought. How many three? How many three? You go to kick his ass, but here's a, because you got a three,
Starting point is 01:08:58 you go to kick his ass and you just miss, like, his ass moves, and I think you just don't kick his ass. Oh. So the impact is much more psychological than anything else. Yeah. His ass was right there. How did I miss? Okay, he's coming for him, Montrose.
Starting point is 01:09:21 You got, like, there's like one sec. He starts to reach, uh, he starts, to search you. They're searching you. Okay. You've got a moment because they don't know where it is. But they do think it's on you because you try to pull that six shit. I sigh. Because I know what I have to do. And that is, I guess I'm going to swallow the pen. Yeah, I mean, you're in a trance. And I think swallowing the pen.
Starting point is 01:09:57 might come naturally to you. Yeah. At this point, like it's in your mouth. I'm just going to swallow this weird sharp food. Okay. I think this is,
Starting point is 01:10:11 I'm going to call this, I mean, John Harper in his wisdom. Okay, let's go down the list. It's not hunt. I am not studying. I am not surveying. No, you know what it is, Griffin?
Starting point is 01:10:26 What? I know what it is. It's command. I'm commanding myself. You're commanding yourself to swallow. It's the only thing that makes sense. Anyone who's had to take like a large pill or something has been there. It's like, all right, we could do this, buddy.
Starting point is 01:10:38 Come on, come on, come on, come on. What's my position, Justin? Your position, Griffin, is desperate. You are trying to swallow a pin. It's cool. I'm going to level up and then I'm going to die. Yep. Don't choke.
Starting point is 01:10:55 No, you know what? I don't think that you would choke off. Like, it would be hard to, I'm gonna say it's risky standard. I mean, like, it would be harder to... It's a joke on it so bad you died. I know. I would argue it is desperate because if he doesn't swallow it, they're going to find it.
Starting point is 01:11:11 I'm going to have to think on this a little bit more. I don't want to... Pray on it, juice. I'm going to have to pray on it with my... Right now, we'll call it risky standard. Okay. And then, yeah. Can someone help me swallow?
Starting point is 01:11:21 No. All right, here goes. You want me to get you some... Are you kidding me? That's a six. And a three. And a three. And we take the lower dice result, because I mean...
Starting point is 01:11:30 not skilled. Another three. Shit. I think that roll 20 is broken and a piece of shit. So does that mean... I said it. I'm sorry, roll 20 if you're listening. You're great.
Starting point is 01:11:42 So does that mean that I swallow it bad or that I don't swallow it? I mean, here's what happens. Yeah. Griffin... Oh, boy. Griffin, you do swallow it. Yes. Success.
Starting point is 01:12:01 But... But in the interim of swallowing it, you feel something in your teeth. Like, what's that? You pull it out, and it's the pin back. Oh, my God. It had been protecting the sharp part. So, Griffin, you did swallow it. Congratulations on solving my swallable pin puzzle.
Starting point is 01:12:23 But you do have, I'm going to call it too harm. I mean, it's intestinal harm. Yeah. You have two, you have like, moderate. It ain't coming up easy, is it? It ain't coming up easy. And that's got to be minus to die anytime you try to poop.
Starting point is 01:12:38 All right, Griffin, so you swallowed it and they're patting you down. And what are you doing? What's Montres doing while they're patting you down? I'm frowning. I'm frowning so deeply, Justin.
Starting point is 01:12:56 I've never frowned so hard in my whole life. Trash bag has had enough. All right. Here's how he's going to work. One of you, three, is going to give me the pin. Or I'm going to cut the little one in half. He points in Emmerich.
Starting point is 01:13:12 I'm going to count three, one. Don't say that number. Two. Emric uses a special ability. Oh. Okay. What's your special ability, Emmerk? How does it work, by the way?
Starting point is 01:13:28 How does the ability? I don't know what the ability is. Tempest. Wait, you don't have that. I don't have tempas? The special ability you took... Was the... Well, what special ability did you take?
Starting point is 01:13:40 You didn't mark it. The special abilities are the ones in the gray box. Right? Okay. I thought you took the top one, which lets you create it. Oh, that wouldn't make any sense, because there are no gods or demons. Dad's... Okay.
Starting point is 01:13:55 I'm looking at the character sheet. I just opened it. This is what Dad took. You can push yourself to do one of the following. Alicia stroke of lightning as a weapon. summon a storm in your immediate vicinity. And they're both holding knives? Yep.
Starting point is 01:14:08 I'm going to unleash a stroke of lightning. Okay, you know what? At their metal knives. Fuck it. Dad, let's call this a... This would be a tune, right? Because he's using the power of, you know, his tools to try to shock them, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:26 Right. To unleash a stroke of lightning as a weapon, dad. I'm going to say this is... Tink, this is, this is a tune. This is a tune. Or Tinker. Do you guys think Tinker or a Tinker? Well, Justin, if I may give a little suggestion, a little gift, that panel is right there.
Starting point is 01:14:45 So he has a source of electricity. No, yeah, he does. For travel, I will probably factor that into, that's a really good thought. I will factor that into the results of the role. It seems like to me then it would be Tinker because I think a tune is like. Yeah, a tune is hard. Yeah. This is Tinker.
Starting point is 01:15:02 Yeah. It does not. Oh, by the way, he has the same skill, so this distinction could not matter less. Go ahead and roll. Let's call it a Tinker roll. Okay. And I'm going to push myself. You're going to push yourself smart.
Starting point is 01:15:15 I'm not to suggest it. So make sure you take a bonus die for that. All right. So, with a tune, this is risky. Tinker. Tinker. Couldn't matter less. Sorry, again.
Starting point is 01:15:30 Don't know why I'm getting so on the one. It does, because it's all about narrative, baby. Tinker, risky, or desperate? I mean... Desperate, don't you think? Yeah. Please. And effect?
Starting point is 01:15:44 I mean, I think this is... What is the effect of shooting a lightning bolt? This is a great effect, Dad. Yeah, really cool. It's going to affect the fuck out of them if this works. And one bonus die. Yeah. Oh, crap.
Starting point is 01:15:58 All right, here we go. Please. 3-33. Oh, my God. two to four four dad what a
Starting point is 01:16:07 and what a four it is dad you you use the lightning whip what is this dad you tell me what this what does this look like what do you do well I think
Starting point is 01:16:19 it has to be some kind of has to be something that comes from his if it's tinker well one of the things he gets to carry is a thing called a lightning hook
Starting point is 01:16:33 Yeah, but if you don't know what that is for you, right? Like, that is a suggestion from the fiction of the game embedded. Like, oh, okay. You know what I'm saying? Okay, go ahead, we got. Okay, I would say that he, maybe he has like a Tesla coil. Okay.
Starting point is 01:16:59 Like a pocket Tesla coil? Yeah, like a watch. Like a pocket Tesla coil. Okay, sure. Fuck it. Yeah, absolutely. I love that. And what does it do?
Starting point is 01:17:10 Shoots a bowl of lightning. Shultz a bowl of lightning. And hits one knife and jumps over the, I would say, if it's aimed towards the knives, which are metal. Yeah, no, I understand the logic of what you're doing. I just want to know what your tool looks like. Okay. So you raise your wrist, and I think that this, like, they get one second to look at you. And you raise your wrist and maybe like a hatch on the watch like opens up and you hear this loud wine like, whew!
Starting point is 01:17:41 And they're all looking at Emmerick. Like, what in the fuck? And before they can even finish the word, this bolt of lightning leaps from there, hits one knife, goes through trash bag, leaps from his knife into one of the knives that a slipper is currently holding and shocks both of them. And they instantly black out fall on the ground. The only thing about it is that the arc of the lightning went back through you into the panel and you yourself are knocked unconscious. So you're unconscious, beef is stabbed. Montrose is internally bleeding. And just as the arc of lightning clears, the back door starts to roll open.
Starting point is 01:18:24 And there you see a delivery truck and the doors of the delivery truck pop open and out steps gravel. And she says, well, that was miserable. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artist-owned. Audience. Audience supported.

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