The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Steeplechase - Episode 22

Episode Date: April 6, 2023

The arcade employees take some much-needed downtime to ready themselves for their biggest job yet. Montrose picks up a shady asset. Emerich flexes on local technicians. Beef befriends some bros. Opening monologue performed by Autumn Seavey Hicks: https://www.instagram.com/autumnseaveyhicks/?hl=en Additional music in this episode: Voyageur” by Monkey Warhol: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Monkey_Warhol/; "Waiting in the Grocery Store" and "A Mysterious Place" by Kirk Osamayao: kirkosamayo.com; "Entangled Quanta" by Ihsan & The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/ihsan-the-cabinet-of-dr-caligari/; "Tree Tenants" by Revolution Void: http://www.revolutionvoid.com; and "Elbwalzer" by Torsten Torsten: https://www.torstentorsten.de. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Hey, Steepies, Crystal with the Kay here, and we are thrilled to report that an old classic is returning to the nightly annual Feast of the Seven, powered by Westminster Oyster Crackers. The classic fireworks spectacular, Dream It to Now, will be returning next month, which we have all been demanding since it was replaced last April by bedazzlement of fireworks experience. Lastly, if you're headed out to do battle with Jelt Frimpin, the Savior and Redeemer God Lizard of Ephemera, you might be able to do. want to take a pain check. Sadly, Jelt Frimpin is down for maintenance for the first time in, well, at least as long as we can remember. Sadly, if you were hoping to cap off an upcoming visit by losing a limb to Jelty, we hope you never know when to stop dreaming. As far as I could, if it was far enough, I provide to push it further. I believe this is the limit. It's true. The greater danger.

Is hesitation? Yes. I had one more half teaspoon of cumin, schnuchel. Thank you, Shukles. I should listen to your culinary argument more. Hello, everybody, and welcome to the Adventure Zone, Steeplechase. I have really missed Shookles. I have a real.

I thought Shookles died. Mm-mm. And I always forget that he's a Michelin-Star chef. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You also don't know. if Shukles is a he or she, Travis?

That's true. Oh my God, you're right, Dad. Thank you. We actually don't know if Shukles exists. Wow. I just assumed that Shugles was ratatooing the Greek man. Rakokooning, you mean? Rakokuni.

Oh, yeah. It's so good that the best movie of the year has the word rack. Has the world's best joke. The best joke in the history of humans. Yeah. Sometimes I just think about Rackacucni while I'm doing other stuff, and it lifts me up when I need it. It's the best. So to catch you up, because it's honestly, it's been a little while since we recorded, we had to preload a lot of these due to travel and cruising and whatnot.

We have just taken the heart scale from Jelt Frumpin. Yep. And we are about to return it to Dave Belista, who is the. weapons designer who asked for it in the first place. I'm assuming, unless you all have other business to attend to, we can start there. Is this pay off? This is payoff. In addition to the like helping you to score some big firepower.

Right. He was also offering four coin to you for this. So we need to start spending our coin more. I have zero point, Travis. I've been spending mine left and right. Well, you did also just spend eight, if you'll remember, to increase our tier. Increase your tier. Was that a group decision?

We're a little low. Yeah, man. We're not exactly liquid at the moment. It's a big, big issue. So the actual, the opposite of what you said, Trave. Oh, okay. It's actually the case. You need to start scrimping and saving.

I have, now listen, I have four coin in my book. bag and there's four coin well um there's i'm choosing travis of embezzling from the let's do this in character if this is how it's gonna be wait a minute no wait sorry this is me making sure that we removed coin when we spent uh yeah yes our cruise sheet is completely empty yeah it's it broke because i'm looking at it and we have four coin well this is fun hold on let's let's sort this out yeah it's four okay so i see four on the the cruise sheet Griff. Oh, I thought we spent, I thought we spent the money when they gave it to us.

And we said instead of giving us that money, you, you already had some in the bank. Right. Okay. And you got a big payday. We didn't spend eight of our coin. We just basically took the eight coin we got from that last job. I do think we need to, I don't think we actually physically increased your tier. Right?

No, I don't think we did. So you need to increase the tier and lower the wrap. No, no, we did. We did. We're tier one now. We were tier zero. Yeah, we were. Tier one, I just bubbled in one-one.

Oh, okay, okay, okay. I didn't see you do that. Wait a minute, hold on. I know what's happened here. No, this is right. Yeah. Yeah, this is right. We got it.

But tier one wasn't bubbled in. This is what I'm saying. Yeah. And then we should have no rep, right? You used all the rep to level up? No, we had one rollover. Okay, perfect. Then we're all set.

I can't think of anything I need to do after slaying Jill Frimpon. I need to go to the bathroom for it. Okay. You need to get, wait, does human being Travis McGrath? No, no, no, no. I went, I did that before we started. But beef, thank you. Beef had a big, uh, we don't need to actually.

We don't, you can just say, no, I'm just trying to, I'm trying to think of a fun drink that they would have in ephemera. Uh, you know what I mean? Like, it would be, uh, let's see, like sparkleberry soda, right? He had a big sparkle berry soda. Which is just, by the way, it's just cherry sprite. Did you guys listen to the intro that had a bunch of menu items at Bumbershoots?

Yes. No. Thank you, Dad. We had, I just want, just in case you, it's just for you guys, because presumably everybody else listened to it, but we had onion pedals to the metal. Oh, God. Hurley fries. Oh, yeah.

Jeff Angel food cake. Amazing. Paloma's Pavlova. Oh, Joe. Void fish and chips Oh, yes, man. Beef, Ross Wellington. Oh, my God.

Oh, then when they just added, you could add to, you could add to your onion petals metal berry blue cheese crumbles. These are great jokes. It's a really good joke. It's been 14 days since I wrote these jokes so I can laugh at them, you know?

Don't forget. Gai is sashimi. It's not a, that this is a, that would be, It would be a wild thing for them to have. That would be like, that would be, I don't even think the cheesecake factory is bold and brave enough to have sashimi on the video. I almost asked Dad for help on these and I could, my email, I was worried would come back full. Like I would just come back.

My email would be steaming from, okay, I'm on book six, Justin. I'm at 700 food puns. The thing that's tricky about this. That always trips me up is like, payoff is usually kind of tied to entanglement. Yeah. And like, so I don't know. But we'll get that. You know what?

Let's just take it once in a time. You are getting four coin from this job. You're going to earn two rep by default. And the target was a higher tier than you. Hell yeah. So we're going to give you three rep. Hell yeah. That's awesome.

Are you doing that, Jamie? Yeah, I'm doing right now. Our bank is full for our. our little outfit here. So why don't, why don't you guys each take one and I'll take two? Well, my pockets are full.

Your pockets are full? Yeah, man. Jesus Christ, our pants jingle, jangle around as we walk around. To be fair, to be fair, Griff, you're walk around buying imaginary dire wolves.

So like... It's only imaginary to us. It's very, very real. To Montrose. Okay, Dad, do you have room in your pockets? Now, is that on the crew sheet or in my personal sheet? And your personal shirt is where our crew bank is full.

Check your personal pants. Oh, I got, if that's, is that stash or coin? Now, you can stash them, right? Ooh, that's a great. I think you have to like upgrade. Upon crew advance, each, okay, listen, upon crew advance, each PC gets stash, which equals your tier plus two. Three? Does that mean we get money or we get the capacity?

capacity to hold money. Do you have the, can you text, John? I can't text. Oh, no, yeah. You can put coins in your character's stash to improve their lifestyle and circumstances when they retire. So you can stash money, but then you can't spend it again. It's not like a savings account. It's not like a savings account.

All right. I've got four. Oh, wait, if you want a whole coin out of your stash, you may do so out of cost. Your character sells off some of their assets and investment in order to get some quick cash. For every two stash removed, you get one coin in cash. Okay, I'm gonna stash two then I'm gonna stash two as well That's cool

That's a fun mechanic So then I have room to take one more Okay So Y'all take one Okay And start getting a little spindier You know hey man

Can't take it with you Not even real to begin with Okay Can't even have it Can't even have it Can't even have it Don't have it You know what I mean in a sense

You cannot Obtainium. Exactly. So you got that. Heat. You are going to take some heat from this. And we've fucked that dragon up. You fucked that dragon up and everybody saw.

Everybody does, though. Yeah, this is designed to be fucked up. I was pretty clear in my description that you guys have fucked it in a way that it is not intended to be fucked. Yeah. Yeah. How should you fuck a dragon? That's one of my favorite movies, by the way. How to fuck your dragon.

I'm going to call it, you know what, though, I will say it's not that bad. I'm going to give you two heat. Not a big deal. Do you want me to add it? No, I got it. Just added it. Two heat.

You have a one level one right now. Okay. Here's the deal. This is just me talking to you guys. This is just us. Oh, just friends? Just us talking. Okay.

Before we go back. This is just. when you guys go back the structure thus far has usually been minor quest unlocks major quest I was thinking about it I've been thinking about it since last I started recorded

I don't know that you guys have a clear path right now to what you need to do so you are going to don't look in this next bit with Dave Belista don't look for like him to I think we just get a voucher that we can spend on a bodacious flashback in the future, right? Like we don't.

That's a real, yeah, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, maybe it's like we mcuffin it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't, but the reason I'm saying in this is I don't know what comes next for you all. Yeah. So we're going to do this scene, but don't be looking for it to culminate in like, and here's the bazoo. No, I think after this, I think we got to go do some, some more legwork. Yeah, I agree. Yep.

So just get a gift card from Dave. There you go. Or just a gulfier. A briefcase that shines a golden light. And buster. It's really good, dad. God, he's so good. I am on today.

Okay. All right, fellas, did you get it? Yeah. Let me take a look. Oh, yeah. It came at a great and terrible cause. My friend here broke his electricity stick. And I'm winded.

I'm winded. This guy really got the wind knocked out of him, pretty bad. Would you like me to take a look at your stick there, see what I can do? Oh, no, I'm... These are a dime it doesn't. Oh. Weird, okay. That seems narratively less interesting.

Yeah, yeah. You could have put some sort of gun on your old thing. Yeah, and it seemed like he was going to fix it. And if you were real torn up. What would it cost? I'd do it for a sweet. All right. You know what?

I broke it. So I bought it. Yeah. I'll give you a... You bought it. Yeah, I just said that, guys. I'll give you a sweet to fix my friends. It's what I always say.

Oh, boy. Okay. I'll give you a sweet. You fix my friend's stick. Let me roll a dial. Let me see how goes. Wait, wait, wait. No, wait.

Hold on. I paid for it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I know, I know, but Dave, what would it cost to improve it as well as fix it? What is improving it look like to you? What would you want me to try to do? Oh, have more of a capacity to absorb electricity. Oh, yeah.

Oh, I can see that kind of. Maybe you put some capacitors on it? Capacitors. That's, yeah. Flux. Maybe a flux capacitor. Perhaps. What are you?

Did you just say? Are you telling me that you have seen the movie back to the future? No. No, I knew a gentleman named Ernest Fluck, and he invented a capacitor. Okay. This is a lot of fun. You know, for two, for two sweets, I'll improve it. Or I will make an attempt to improve it.

I will kick in an extra sweet then, leave. Oh, that's a good, that's a good choice. Hey, Dave, if you failed to improve it on your roll, do we get our sweets back? Oh, that would be, you'll get half your sweets back. Oh, that's fine. Okay. Well, my half. All right.

We're going to roll, I think I'm really good at this. I'm going to roll 3D6. Feels good. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, David. David. Oh, my God, David. I rolled a one and a two and a three.

So we're all together. So, yeah. So, you know, Dave, Lisa hands you a sack. And it's kind of jangling.

And he's like, this is, you know what? I'm only going to charge you one sweet for this. You know what's fun there, Dave, if I may?

You offered to fix it. Clearly didn't know how to. Got yourself asleep for doing. I would say it was unclear. I think it was unclear whether I knew how to fix it because there was a... Then why did you offer? There was a good chance I did know how to fix it.

I'm just trying to... He is a proud man. Too proud. I could try to fix it again. How much will that cost us? And I will get... Well, I'll tell you what. I can try to fix it again for another suite.

I won't... No, listen, I gave you one sweet back so you won't be worse for it. And I'll have one extra. extra diet because I understand it better now. So Dave, just to be clear, I paid you a suite to not fix it. And now you're like, ah, but I got some good practice time. You paid me two sweets to fix and improve it. I did neither.

And you lost one of those sweets. Okay, but Dave, I think you can see what the problem is that exchanges then. It's fortune. It's not up to me. So do you want me to try again? If I took my cell phone Dave to a shop and they're like, yeah, couldn't fix it, man. I still charge you because, boom, bad luck. I'll tell you what.

So I am going to... Okay, hi, Justin here. I explained exactly what would have to be. This is out for you. An excruciating detail. I said if it didn't work, I will give you one seat back. I was very clear about it. I guess I just didn't execute a roll a one to two and a three.

Hey, neither did Dave. But that's fortunate. Yeah, it's fortune for you, man. This may be the sunk cost fallacy talking, but I want to see this thing pay off. So I will chip in that last week. So for one... I'll try to get it back to its usual state. Sounds good.

Oh, wait, to its usual state? Yeah, well, okay, so you've already got, yeah. Oh, well, then I take my sweet. I thought you were going to put some sort of cool. Oh, so you're going to kick it if you give me two. No, we've played this game, but this is your racket, isn't it? But I'm better at it now. And it's a good one.

It's a good racket, but you got to wake up. Okay, once we, I'll try to fix it. That role didn't count. One suite, I'll try to fix it. I don't want to pay. Dad just said he has a million of these things. Okay. I mean, I thought we decided narratively that wasn't very, okay.

I'll tell you what. Give me one suite. I'll put the capacitor on. I feel like I wasted a lot of your guys' time. And I have this weird feeling that I've wasted a lot of other people's time, too. I slap a sweet down on the camera. You guys ever get that sense? Like you just wasted tens of thousands of people's times?

No, just me. Okay. Okay. All right. Give me that sweet. Slap it down on the tip. Bites it. Ah, good, good sweet, here it comes.

Damn. You are kidding me, David! 4, 2, 3, 2. Okay, here's the deal. That one's, you know what? Fool me twice, shame on me. Okay, here's the deal. It's not improved, but it is back to how it looked before.

Great, but he had to use, he had to use a bunch of pieces that have a really embarrassing desert camo print on it. I love that. So it's back to its usual state, but it's got a really, really embarrassing, like, kind of scuffed up, messed up, Desert Eagle, sorry, desert camouflage print all over it. Oh, my God, that's so fucking good.

Well, worth it. Well, I did my best, guys. Looking good. Looking good. Perfect. And I can't believe I just made back two of the sweets. Unbelievable. And I also think you should include the capacitor.

Let's not. You may take another crack? I don't know. I think you should give me the capacitor for what we've invested in this. No, it's not the way dice works. I'm sorry. So what, can I ask you guys before? I mean, I told you I could get you access to some pretty high-level stuff.

Yeah. Out of curiosity. What are you guys trying to do? Well, you see, they are. Why don't you guys huddle for a second? Maybe we huddle. Huddle away. That's what I.

I call it Dave Belistas, Belistas and huddles. That seems sarcastic, Dave. Now, when they started, you did some, like, wink-wing, non-nod secret handshaky business with Dave. Is he cool? Oh, he's cool in a sort of fictional sense. Got it. He's not but a cream cool. Okay, then how about we go with, like, we're planning a coup on the ruler of the thing, and we're going to...

Yeah, no, I was going to make up a fantastical... story. I thought I had shown my... You weren't going to say like we're stealing the spire. No. Hey, beef.

We may need to have a second aside later on. Should we huddle within this huddle? Let's do a private... Okay, Emric, you stay right there. We have to have a side huddle. I am deeply insulted, my friend.

Oh, okay. Okay, back to the main huddle. Okay. All right, no, we got this. Huddle over. they are there's rumors in the wind of breezes

of rumors that they are going to be beta testing a new Jelt Frimping it's going to have like these crystals that you've got to blow up or else his health just keeps on coming back that's weird they just

redid Jel Frimpin with all the the different This is Jelt Frimpin's brother and he's going to live next door to Jelt Fremping. And his cave... Frel Jimpin. That's not it.

I think it was. No, I don't think so. No, they wouldn't... They wouldn't... Even hearing this information of the first time, I'm pretty sure that's not... They wouldn't make a joke

of Jelt Frimpin's awesome name. The twins? Yes. Anyway, they got these crystals, but then also we're going to fuck up the dragon, too. So, um, we also got to sneak in there.

Honestly, it's going to be a sort of multidisciplinaryan adventure. Hmm. Okay. Well, that sounds It sounds wild, honestly. There's going to be spanking. Spanking is part of this? Possibly.

There's room. Okay. Huh. All right. It's a heavy artillery. Okay. Well, I'll start tinkering around. And you all kind of just check back in.

And I'll see what I can't cook up for you. Thanks, Dave. Dave? Yeah. Do you see my wristband here, this? Like, give a ghost projector. Yeah, that's cool. What would it cost for you to do the whole?

Oh, boy. Okay. So, listen. Okay, you want to, yeah, the negative two. Negative two. That was a bad outcome, Dad. We don't want, I don't, yeah, this is a wild thing to ask Dave believe. Although it does sound like Dave just said he'll pay you two streets.

If you let him put Desert Eagle, like shit on your. I'll tell you what. me put my logo and phone number on there. All right, guys. What do you, uh... So it seems to me the two things we need information on, right? Is... Anything about the job.

Okay. Well, specifically, though, like the fireworks, big special display thing, right? And how we... Let's move you guys to the... Let's move you guys to a room in the buttercream. Okay. Let's take a second down there. Are we doing downtime?

Oh, can we go to the... the future's you? Yeah, let's take you the futures you. They're installing and based on what you guys have done and seen and know so far you roll out onto a table, a map.

Oh, I love this. Did that work what I just did? Yeah, man. It worked on a few levels, man. It got me, bud. I'm creatively rocked. So what you're looking at, look what the boys are looking at and dear listener I'm about to describe to you

is a blueprint of Gull Spire an overhead shot in the center we see the tower itself as it spirals into the sky it's surrounded an emote that is unbroken

except for on its right side kind of making a large sea that right side has a stone bridge across it in the upper left hand corner we see the fireworks barge and to the right is the right lower corner. That's the ferry shack with the line, the wire that goes from the ferry shack down to or over to Galspire.

Okay. That is really good, Justin. Hey, Justin, you're doing a great job. Morning on it. Yeah, it shows. It really works. Now, so it seems to me, right, and feel free to disagree, but we need to do something with the fireworks to create a big distraction, and then we can use the vantage point of the Ferry Shack to launch whatever heavy artillery we have

to try to destroy the crystals that are projecting the gallespire. We are at an information deficit right now. This map kicks ass. Real quick, just to clarify something. we don't we don't just you have learned to this point so I'm not revealing anything you don't destroy prisms you damage the projection enough that the prism shuts down that's what happened with the that's what happened with the van the oh okay well then let me ask for that in character clean sweep because we could try to just shut down but then we would have to get in there

and get the crystals right so that they can't relaunch it but that then we're on site. If we can destroy them completely from a distance, that's a clean getaway, man. No, no, no, no, no. You can't, these are works of art. These are not only works of art, but these are resources that we could use

to further the development of our plans. You're talking about Leonardo da Vinci level accomplishment here. Please, beef, we can't destroy. I would also mention that part of your deal with, with, uh, Kenchall is that we would get them. You would steal it. Yeah. So you, okay.

Let's, let's, let's get to brass tax. Because frankly, fellas, I think that is where we are at on this mission. Real quick, sorry. Again, to keep in the right. Not that, not that's me shutting you down, Trave. I mean, I'm, no, no, no, no. If that is information, like, I don't feel shut down. I feel disgust, discussion, right?

This is a discussion about, okay. I don't feel disgust. I feel disgust. I feel disgust. Here is, the only other thing I'll say is you're having this conversation is I have left, there are many leads for you in ephemera. There could be other leads that you would like to explore that could be generated by Montrose's knowledge of the layer or whatever. I don't think you have, I don't think you're going to be able to stare at these pieces enough to where it's like, oh, there's our answer. Yeah, sure.

So, oh, there's our answer. other leads that you might want to explore within ephemera. Then what is our timetable? This is, this event happens every night, right? Yeah. Okay. Yes. Mine, okay.

All right, then. I have an idea. Let me pitch something. What if we encouraged an uprising in ephemera to the point where there would be some kind of big, you know, like, push on the call spire and oh, we're going to take it and free ourselves from the rule of these people who are

you know, embezzling money and fake rulers and all this stuff. And we use that as cover to do everything. Are you out of your fucking mind? No, I don't think so. I take a few steps

away from beef. Like, I do not want to be standing near you. when the seven strike you down. For the terrible things you have said here today. Okay, Montrose, you know, like, it's not, oh, bud, okay, so I love your commitment to character and to the role-playing and all that stuff, but, like, we're here to do a job, but, like, we need to use everything we can. I believe me, I know, but I also do know that the Grand Duke Dubrook has a lot of

long memory. And we do not want to get on his bad side so terrible is his might. Oh, but once we are seeing, like, if we steal the gullspire, I don't know if we'll be able to, like, come back here for a while. Well, if we steal the gall spire and our identities are compromised, we're not going to be stepping foot anywhere that's not a jail cell for a long, long while. Yeah. This, this, let me say this, fellas.

This one here, this is not going to be our traditional smash and grab whilst coated in chocolate sort of caper. That was one. That was one. This is going to have to be a real smooth one. Or we will be jailed or murdered. All right. Well, let me ask you, Emmerich, you're the projection expert, the Hardlight expert. Is there a way to shut all this down, right?

Shut down the projection without. Because up to this point, I think most of our projections shutting down expertise has been shooting it with a big gun or destroying it in some way, right? Can you bring down this tower without that? Well, in theory, there should be a way to contain the prism. We're talking light. So in theory, there should be a way to put the prism in some. kind of container that would prevent it from broadcasting, from creating the heart light projection.

But to do what you're talking about, it would take all three of us because these prisms that they're using, we've heard, are the sides of soccer ball, correct? Yeah. They would have to be spaced out equally within the structure itself. so they're not going to be right next to each other. This is an excellent point. We got to do all three of these at the same time because I do not know it will have the dramatic effect

if like one side of the gallspire just starts flickering or whatever. So what we need to do, right? The information we need to gather right now is see if we can figure out where in the gall spire they are projecting from. I propose this. This plan, no matter what shape it takes, is going to require a means of entry,

a means of stealing and a means of exit. Let's split up today. Let's go do a little legwork. I'll go see if I can nose around in the underworkings of the Gulf Spire. See if I can't find a way up to that fairy shack. Emrig, you can go look for the projectors, see if you can find anything there, and then beef, you can, I don't know, find us a way out. Carrying three probably heavy soccer ball-sized crystals.

Okay, yeah. As long as they stay in communication with our ear producers and stuff and try not to get in trouble, which, you know, big ask, but I think we can do it. Try not to punch any, you know, people working, like hotel clerks or whatever. Who are you saying that to? Myself. Yeah, I love this plan. With Max Fund Drive in the Books, we'd like to welcome our new members and say thanks to everyone who's supported us over the years.

Welcome. Thanks. And now, on to the sticker sale. A lot of this year's drive gifts and live streams focused on food. We love how food can bring communities together, but not everyone has access to the food they need. So we'll split the proceeds from our sticker sale among five U.S. food banks in areas disproportionately affected by poverty. The sale ends Friday, April 14th. Members at the $10 monthly level and above can purchase any stickers they'd like. There's also a special Max Fund sticker featuring Nutsi the squirrel that all members can purchase. For more info, head to maximumfund.org slash sticker sale, and thanks again for your support. Her Majesty served Great Britain and the Commonwealth loyally for over 70 years. And while, of course, we feel a profound

sadness, we must remember she lived a long life and died in such a way that I think many of us would want for ourselves. She was at home, surrounded by her family. And of course, she was listening to the Beef and Dairy Network podcast. The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is a multi-award-winning comedy podcast, and you can find it at maximum fun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. So, Montrose, what are you attempting to do? Let's start with you, Montrose.

So, it seems like things that would be helpful for. for us is like either doing a little social engineering or something to get to like figure out the so mantras what are you attempting to do let's start with you mantras so it seems like things that would be helpful for us is like either doing a little social engineering or something to get to like figure out the uh uh under ground sort of system under the gull spire, right? You mentioned that there seemed to be some sort of way up to the ferry shack that was not climbing up the hill, which to me suggests like access tunnels and things like that.

Yeah, we found a door, right, but we couldn't get into it, right? Didn't have the right clearance. So I would like options for how we like get in and around this job that would be as covert as possible. So that is, that's what I'm hoping to accomplish. Okay. And then what about you, beef? I am going to go, I think, scout the grounds around the Gaulsbire itself. Specifically, I think, to gather information about the feast or the fireworks.

Or both. Okay. And you, Emmerk. I would assume that there are people, technicians, scientists, this would take quite a commitment of manpower to, not only create this, but maintain it. So I think he's going to look into the local scientists and inventors union and see if perhaps he can talk to people and find out more about the creation. That would be the International Brotherhood of, scientists and technicians.

So, IBO. He's going to find I-Bost, local 26-26. And he's going to go talk to, you know, nose around a little bit and see if he can make some connections. Okay, perfect. Let's start with you, Montrose. You realize that the best way for you to, by the way, If you guys can, I'm going to, I have a good idea for Montrose first.

If you can think about other down, like there's other, I'm trying to accomplish these in, in downtime. So if you can fold it into some sort of vice or any other of your usual acquiring an asset is another downtime activity, whatever. Oh yeah. I'm stressed as shit. So yeah, that's okay. Yeah, yeah. So we want to try to accomplish all these ones. But Montrose, you're exploring the buttercream directly below.

ephemera because you realize that that's probably your best place to start. Sure. And you are wandering through the inner workings. You've strayed a little bit far from where people have inhabited in this particular iteration of the buttercream. You find yourself in a long, long hallway that's lit just by a single bulb hanging from a cord. And then all of a sudden, your hero, the bulb shatters. And you're left in the darkness. And you feel yourself brusquely pressed up against the wall.

I didn't think I'd run into you again so soon. Oh, my God. It's deep dark. No, I know. No one else sounds like that. Because it, why would they? Because it hurts. How's your shrinking and going?

I'll be honest with you. Well, you know, I was going to say I've been slacking, but I did use a big gun to blow up a dragon. So actually probably pretty good You see him Well you don't see him It's very dark Yeah sure You hear him rear back

And attempt to punch you in the stomach Oh No I won't I don't want him to do that Okay Yeah you tell him Give me a finesse roll Is this desperate?

No It's not desperate, but it is risky. 2.15, make success. Five, yeah. His hand smashes into the wall behind you as you dart out of the way. Really good. Hey, that's really good actually. Hey, don't do that.

I was trying to. No, I know what you were trying to do, but don't do that. It's really good, though. That's not the kind of dynamic I want with us, Deepak, okay? So I hear you're exploring the underground trying to find a way in. Who did you hear that from? I was outside the room. Deep Dark...

Where you all we're talking? Don't do that. I have ears everywhere. I'm deeply uncomfortable. Okay, Deep Dark. Yes, I'm looking for, you know, secrets. You want a clean way in. Jesus.

Have you considered using a sky look? It's where you fly in on a plane. and then a parachute out and then a different plane picks up your... Do you know about Skyhook? It doesn't sound physically... You would break your spine

instantly when that hook grabbed you. There is no way that would be survivable. I was hoping you had one because I've always wanted to try it. Okay. No, we need to be much, much quieter than that, Deep Doc. The cover of night is my greatest friend.

Yeah, we weren't going to do this one in the daytime deep dark okay so deep dark um understands the uh the underworld the inner workings deep dark can help you to find the the entrances that you're looking for what you would need to do if you if you're interested in this path is um acquire him as an asset i think that's interesting he would he would be an asset for you to help you figure out um a a way in and a way Okay. So you would want to, if you want this, you would roll the tier. And this is how much, you're going to roll your tier.

So you'll roll one. To see his quality. Exactly. Okay. I know there's a way to do this actually. You can spend coin to raise the result of this role. Sure. But I won't need to because this is going to be a fucking slam dunk.

And it looks like you can, this is a case where you can spend coin. afterwards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe. Okay, here we go, six. Right now. Look at that, baby. That's a six.

Oh my God. It just happened. It's the secret, gang. You just got to say it. You just got to say it. And then you did do it. And then there's like a 15% chance that is going to come true for you.

That's a secret. That's amazing. I had no idea you could do, yeah. That's incredible. Cool. Yeah, he's good. Unsurprisingly, Deep Dark. Let me say this.

I have a consentious relationship with Deep Dark. I don't like somebody out there who knows more than I do, but I'm a fan of his expertise here, and I will leverage it. So, here's the deal. Me and Infinite Jesse, the Spectra Fairy, used to be a thing. So I know the door that she uses to access her. Can I just say, I knew it. Yeah, called it.

For sure. What? That they used to be a thing. We've talked about it. We've talked about it in all of the, uh, like forums and chiroys and stuff. For six, I also think

Deep Dark knows an access tunnel up into the let's call it an access tunnel to the public main like foyer into

Galspire. So like it will get you in but but not into where you need to be. Okay. For the prisms. So you have at your behest now. That sounds like a more useful exit than like we could get into this public celebration at the Gaulspire,

but we need quick ways out. And that seems like that would be pretty helpful for that. Okay. Cool. I still have one action, right? Mm-hmm. I need to reduce some fucking stress because I'm at one, one away from full. So I would like to do that.

Okay. Can we just be back at the future as you? And I'm installing the dog. Maybe you did it in a different order. Maybe this happened before. Boy, I hope I don't see Deep Dog today. Yeah, I'm having GERTH, the Dyerhound robot, installed. Because the family needs a dog.

Well, Timothy, it's like you always want. and pup of your own or throw a frisbee disc around with or go digging around for worms gee thanks Montrose I really appreciate it is that how he sounds you're all right Timothy

uh huh because we fixed him remember oh right you all fixed him up and that was how he sounds fixed that's how he sounds fixed you haven't heard him since they sound fixed Timothy it is good to hear you back to your old self my friend thanks I really appreciate being able to think

I hope you don't mind that we've made some changes around the place, a little modernization. I can't believe you got me a dog! Yes, now this dog is a wild one. I'm no dog. I am the dire wolf. Girt, one of the four horny guys. This is a child, Gert.

That's just the name of it. I didn't pick it. All right. Timothy, I apologize. I did not know he would speak, like a human tongue. Is that still okay? Yeah, I think it's, you know, it'll be nice to have a friend. Sometimes dad closes his eyes for days, weeks in a time. Well, your dad works very hard. You've got to let him rest when he needs it.

That's what he says. And mom's just the top half, sticking out of the kitchen counter. Yes, that is, it is. there is exactly one angle through with, one very specific lens through which your family is not a sort of cruel joke of humanity. Did you guys want some carrot slices? No, Mom, we're good.

Thank you. They still haven't fixed your voice quite right. I like it better this way. Me too. More assert. People are fucking listening. The curse. Okay, I want to just go back to the gears and gizmos,

Maybe push a few levers in a few directions. This is supposed to be a family-friendly attraction. People are flipping listening. Better. Okay, I'm going to roll my... Is it lowest stat? They're all two now, so it doesn't matter. No bonus dice.

Three and a four. So it's minus four. Can I... And how does it... I can pay one to roll again? I'm going to use my last coin here to roll again. Because I still have four stress. That's a lot.

Hopefully I don't overindulge. I did not. I got the exact same result, three, four. So I am zero stress. Nice job. We love to see it. We love to see it. Let's Mac or Trave.

Do you have some idea what you want to do? Yes, I do. Trave unless you want to go. No, go ahead. Go ahead. Okay, here's my plan. Emmerick is going to go to one of the meeting rooms at Bumbershoots because he had noticed a sign that said, you know, like meeting of the Kiwanas,

you know, this is where the rotary meets, those kind of things. And he goes to the meeting room where the local 26th, 26th, the International Brotherhood of Scientists and Technicians hang out. And he goes to this room. It's the Star Blaster Room because there's no place to sit except on Davenport's. All right, sir. Why not? So he kind of goes in.

And here's his purpose. he's hoping to solicit some extra work because, as you remember, his vice is overworking. Right? That's where he gets his pleasure is working. So he's hoping that he can pick up some extra work on which he figures, since there is very little hard light in ephemera that if he picks up some hard light work, it would be on the spire. okay

okay all right okay okay fellas settle down settle down I take a seat there all right

welcome to the what is this the 773 meeting of i boss 2626 so thank you guys

for showing up thanks for being on time I really appreciate it I want to say a huge welcome to some new, new members. Over there is, uh, y'all, I'm going to believe this. But we are grace today by kind of a legend, a little bit of a disgrace legend.

Emrick Dreadway. Everybody just say a big hi to Emrick. Hello. Hi, Emerald. That's great. That's great. Um, and I want to say a huge, uh, welcome to another new, new hi. He's going to be filming, um, uh, doing a series.

a docu series on the festival, the feast, you know, what is it they got up there? You know, they do it once. The annual Feast of the Seven takes place every night, right? Welcome to the crew, Douglas Manzetti. Hey, it's great to be here. I'm thrilled to be here. Douglas Manzetti, a different person. Welcome, welcome aboard, Douglas.

Now, Emmerich, you're wanting to pick up some extra hours, which is a relief because we have some, you know, there's a lot going on with Galspire. Emmerich, as anybody told you, you probably guessed, but Galspire is all hard light now. Kind of an open secret, but, yeah, it's all hard light. They tore it down the old one. Oh, really? Yeah, believe in the night. You probably saw, though. You were an old pro.

Well, I must tell you, I was very doubtful when I realized I really need some work. And I am, that is kind of my area of expertise, the hard light construct. So I'm glad to hear that. It looks amazing. I don't know who is in charge, but it's beautiful. Dad, here's what I want for you to do. I want you to roll a sway. And this sway roll is going to be convincing this unnamed gentleman who I'm going to call.

Oh, I can't wait. This is going to be good. Brace your asses, everybody. Justin. God, nice. And I want you to try to convince Justin for the tier of work that you are ready for. better, better work, higher responsibility, more information. Fair? Certainly. All right. All right. So, roll sway, correct? Correct.

What is this? Controlled? Desperate, risky? Let's call it controlled. What are you I know you've been out of the game for a while. Yes. Where are you at right now, skills-wise, Emory? I am really at the top of my game, to be honest with you, because while I have, as you say, been out of the game for a long time,

I have been focusing on refining projections, hard-light projections, to the point where I have even developed an incredibly complex, believable, realistic human avatar. When it comes to Hartley. Wow.

Huge stuff. Huge stuff. We can all agree, right? Huge stuff, boss. And if I'm able to sway you, I will demonstrate this projection to you. You know, it's so rare people just openly say that they're attempting to sway you.

I appreciate your forthrightness. Convince you, then. So standard? and I can't afford a bonus die because I haven't stressed. You're stressed. Okay. You can do it. 6-14.

Wow. Great job, dad. Great job. Now, wait, is that Justin or Justin telling me great job? That was Justin. Yeah, this guy's not your dad in the game. Hey, you did a great job. Thank you.

I'm really proud of you. No, that was Justin. That was Justin. Okay. Okay. May I show you my projection? No, I've already been swayed. Oh, so.

So, yeah, go ahead. You know what? Now you're curious. Now you're being my curiosity. Well, I mean, if only to convince you that I can work at the highest level. And he flips open to give a ghost and projects Scott Bowflex. Wow. Scott, I would like you to meet. Justin, who is not my son.

It's weird. People don't often clarify that as much as they should. When I'm introduced to people all the time, I'm not told whether or not they're their son. Yeah. Hey, I'm Scott Boldflex and I'm just realizing I only have one voice for real guys, guys. You know, it's just this one. One voice for guys, guys, guys that are more guys than me.

And I just have this one voice for guys. And I recall Scott. I recall Scott into the Gipagos for Junker. Thank fuck. That is really impressive. No, I said I recalled Scott. I got off death. Eat shit forever.

All right, listen, I got to, uh, can I draw you in over here for a second? Another huddle? This is, this is just to Emmerich. Oh, you're, uh, you're, uh, kind of a legend. And so, um, I think that I can, I can trust you with this. We've actually been having a little bit of a, problem with the new Gulf Spire. The eggheads call it a foci sink loss.

Where these are project, you know, we have redundancies in the projection, so one goes down. The others can cover it. But what we've been having is every once in a while, and they'll be quite understands why they're losing the sink and it's just for like a millisecond. you know, a half second, I'm exaggerating. No one's noticed yet because it tends to happen during the fireworks, right? So I'm thinking that there's some sort of sync issue.

I don't know if it's the sound, the energy displacement, what, but it's causing these folk idle to step out of sync for like a half second during the show. So I'm hoping that maybe you can go over some of these schematics and try to, to work that out. That is right in my wheelhouse. Keep it between us, though. No, no, absolutely. And may I just say that if I were to have a son,

I would want him to be just like you. Just. Wow. Wow. I just feel a close bond to you. I didn't see that. Wow. Okay.

Okay. It's going to be that kind of day. All right. Wow. Thank you. From you, like a disgrace legend. like you that really means something. I don't know.

I've disgraced. I mean, I stepped away. I agree to disagree. Okay. So, let's do a vice roll that. You got to see how effective this. He's given you some schematics and a lot of

information to study about it because you did a really good sway roll. So let's see if you can get some good stress. You can, by the way, I've just learned. There's a button that says indulge vice on your sheet. You can click that. It's where you're, it's at the top where, like, all your information is. Okay.

Underneath, just above your stress tracker. There's a little button on the right side. I see it, yes. If you just click it. So I can just click that to do the roll? Yep. Oh, okay. It's asking me if I want to do bonus die?

None. Nice? No. No. So clear three stress. Three? Yes. You can also roll again for one coin.

If you pay a coin. For one suite. To remove more? Yes. Yeah. This is going to be a big job. I got a sweet back from Dave. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, I'll do it again. Let me get rid of one of my... Just don't overindulge. He has seven stress so he can. Well, he had seven stress. Now he has four. Uh-oh.

Can I take the lower one? No. No. So that's a six. That's a six. That's six. He has five stress, but now he, now he has a bad thing. And this hasn't happened to us yet.

Yeah. Okay. So when you overindulge, you make a bad call because of your vice. Select an overindulgence from this list. Attract trouble. Bragg. Lost or tapped. brag. Yeah, if you brag, you gain two heat. If you're lost, your character vanishes for a few weeks.

Play a different character until this one returns from the bender. Attract to trouble. You roll an additional entanglement. Tapped, your current purveyor cuts you off. Find a new source for your vice. Dad, I'm going to say either brag or tithe. tapped. I'm going to have you choose one of those. Tell me again about tapped. Tapped just means that you can't use

these guys for any more stuff. Yeah, so in future jobs, you can't say I'm going to the iBoss again for more work. I, okay. Or we take on some more heat. Who gives a shit? I don't want to take

a, no, no, no. I have a contingency plan. Well, I've already got the gig, right? Yeah. Oh, I hate to cut myself off from 2626. I worked so hard. Just take a little heat. Just take a little heat.

What's a little heat between friends? All right, I'll brag about it. All right, so almost as soon as he asks you to keep it between the two of you, you start telling some of the other guys around the table. He wanted to impress who else I think you're disgraced about this work that you're taking on. and one little squirly-looking lady who seems like she's playing the both sides. Can I do the brag first?

Yeah, go ahead and do the brag first, I guess. We'll do that in character. Well, disgraced my ass. I guess now we know who's king of the hill and who is the disgraced guy. Great, great bragging. So I'm gonna add two here. You bragged before.

Okay. But you do clear your stress. Yeah, clear that fucking stress then. It's out. Trave, we pivot over to you. Yeah, I'm gonna approach the barge. Approach the barge. The fireworks barge.

And two reasons. One, I want to see if there is a like egress via the water. way, whatever waterway, is that barge is on? Is it a closed circuit or is it something that we could potentially use to escape? I also want to investigate the barge itself. I want to find like the person in charge of the barge. Are they large?

Okay, so you want to go. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I just realized I interrupted you doing a squarely woman thing, Juice. Did she just not enough, you just watched her not ignoring. Oh, okay, I'm sorry. But in a squirly way. Yeah. It was nuts.

Travis. Yeah? I need someone on this show. I need a constant. Oh, that's crazy. No, you're rolling up to the barge. Yep. Hey, how's it going?

Oh. Can I help you with something? This isn't really part of the, you know? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm actually, I'm not just like a guest here. I'm Beef Punchley. And I, you know, I've at this point been taking a pretty passive role, but I'll tell you, I'm big into like explosions and fireworks and all that stuff.

And I just, honestly, just wanted to see what was kind of happening here. Maybe this is, maybe I could put in for a transfer to Ephembra and see if I can be part of this explosive lifestyle. Wow. Okay, let me get the guys over. And you see this guy rise to his full height. He's thin, he's got a short-cropped hairstyle, and the rest of his family joins him.

Oh, it's a family business. Yeah, my name is Randy DeBarge. That's Mark DeBarge, James DeBarge, L. DeBarge, and Bunny DeBarge. Who's the in charge DeBarge? I'm the in charge DeBarge. Have you met Large Marge DeBardge? Randy DeBarge is, I'm sort of the one who's run the show.

We let Elle be the frontman because he's kind of the It seems weird to say about your brother, but the sexy one. But we all run DeBarge. You know, if I had brothers, I bet everyone would know who the sexy one was right off the bat. Like we didn't even have to discuss it. Yeah, I don't have any doubt about that. So, we don't really do like tours or any. I mean, what is it that you're wanting exactly?

Oh, just like how does it all work? Are you guys still running around, you know, with Zippos light and all the fuses yourselves? These days, it's all computers. That's James DeBarge. He's got glasses on. These days, it's all run by computers. It's smart department.

Oh, so the computers are running around lighting all the fuses? There's no fuses. It's all electrically charged. A simple, and bunny gives him a withering look. Oh, I guess I shouldn't be talking to you. I just get really excited when I hear anybody bring up computers. No, listen, I understand, you know. You know, there's a fighting game, like an arm wrestling game based on me.

It's all programmed with computers. It was very exciting. I was very involved in the, you know, testing of it. Oh, so you know a little bit about computers going in already. I'm sorry, what was the last thing you said? I'm just, I love what I meet.

Somebody else who already cares a lot about computers. I can't deeply about computers. Did you design the computer that runs all this? Bunny is like, ha, like,

like, like, yeah, bunny's hopping mad, and James DeBarch, is like, listen, I don't think Bunny wants me to tell you anymore about the computer. And you see the rest of the DeBarge family kind of go back to working on other parts of DeBarge. I'll tell you what.

How about how about? How about we make it a little fair, right? I'm a big strong dude. Looks like you guys got a lot of work here. I will have an arm wrestling competition. It's kind of what I'm known for. If I win, I would love to just learn everything about it just because I'm fascinated both by computers and by fireworks and knowing that they're related. Oh my god, get out of here. And if I lose, I'll carry

yourself around for you. And I'll do like heavy lifting for you all for a while. And nobody will have to lift a finger. I mean, that all sounds good to me, but I'm not going to be the one arm wrestling you. Oh, no, that's fine. I can arm wrestle anybody. Can you arm wrestle Chico DeBarge? And then a bar, a door of the barge slams open. And you see the biggest, least handsome, most intimidating member of the DeBarge. family, Chico DeBarge, who sits down at a table and says, I hear that we're doing arm wrestling. Uh-huh. How often does Chico barge into the room saying that incorrectly?

Did I hear someone say arm wrestling? Why did I make him a family? This is so hard. It's so good. And I'm sorry to Jupiter who's like tracking voices. I promise. It's a perfect excuse for you to use the same voice. They're on the same family.

Yeah, but they're different people, Dad. You know, DeBarge. Well, just slow down. Change the pace of the delivery. The pitch. This is my silent brother, Chico DeBarge. And he's great at arm wrestling. And so you're going to have to arm wrestle him.

Okay. This is so cool. To think you can do arm wrestling and you love computers as much as me, I don't know what it's like to have a both. friend, but I think finally getting... Okay, so, Trev, you're going to give me a skirmish, right? I sure am.

Is this just fear? Okay. Chico DeBarge, uh, flexes, stretches, he puts his elbow, his meady, thick elbow up on the table of DeBarge. Okay. What's the position here, my man? We're going to call it risky, because it's like in the middle of the... It could go either way.

Okay. So it's... I'm going to say it's... risky. And you're, I will say it's like standard effect because like you're both beefy people. It was strong. Okay, let's do it.

Oh my lord. Three, two, one. Loser. Blast off. No? Not this time. Not this time. Chico is struggling for a bit but then slams your hand

down on the table. Oh, been a while, Chico. nice and Chico nods at you and gives you a thumbs up and walks back into where he was fucking cool

I'm sorry I mean I guess I can't tell you anything else No that's okay you know you win some you lose some I totally get it You could I mean but you said you'd work right Oh yeah Okay well um

I'm gonna go ahead while we're out at Jaman and indulge my vice for betting. Uh-huh. Yeah. Good. Perfect. Traff.

I love that. Oh, yeah. Five. Stress cleared. Beautiful. So that brings me to three. Perfect. Okay, great.

But, I mean, I can't tell you a lot about how any of the computers work, but if you come back tonight, you could, you'll do some work, do some of the lifting, right? Give Chico a break. Yeah. Absolutely. And listen. I just want you to know.

I know you're feeling it too. I'm feeling a lot of friendship with you, James. And I'd like to solidify it right here with developing a kind of like maybe a friend handshake or something. And Jamie and I would like to acquire an asset of James. Okay. You want to acquire James. I would like to have one asset of James, please. I would like to have and with a side of friendship, please.

No, you know what? How is your James? If I get friendship, will you guys share it? Like, if I get some friendship, will you guys eat it? Because I don't want to have all the friendship myself. I don't want. I'm good. Okay, just aside of friendship, I think will be fine.

And I would like my friendship to be rare. Okay. So I guess roll for friendship. Yeah. I don't remember. This is me trying to look up how to acquire an asset while I was talking. Roll your cruise. Roll your cruise.

Roll your cruise here. And then the result. So just roll one dice. Or you can click the button that says tier on it on our crew sheet. Okay. So then he's... I'm great, man. Fantastic.

With a five... It's like tier... So that means it's our tier, right? So he's the tier one. Tier one. They have good imports. This is, well, I didn't expect a day to go like this, but, um... Yeah, I guess you got yourself for.

a friend in James DeBarch Hell yeah You got a friend in James Hey Can I just say something? Yes, please This is the best day of my life Oh James, me too, man

I'm just gonna write you down here On my little no book as an asset James If you don't Ashford So he keeps track of his friends Yeah, my friend no book So I wrote friends on it Hey James

Yeah. Let's do our best friend handshake. You ready? Yeah. Engage. This is so long. Hold on, I'm trying to... You've got it. You're doing it. James!

We're doing it. Just a few more minutes, right? Best friends. All right, let's stop there. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artist-owned, audience supported.