The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Steeplechase - Episode 23

Episode Date: April 13, 2023

It's time to divide and conquer if the arcade boys have any chance of stealing all the prisms of the Gallspire. Emerich hums with nitrates. Montrose takes flight. Beef gets ready to blow. Opening monologue performed by Autumn Seavey Hicks: https://www.instagram.com/autumnseaveyhicks/?hl=en Additional music in this episode: "School Memory" by Adeline Yeo: https://clic.ly/adelineyeohp; "Elbwalzer" by Torsten Torsten: https://www.torstentorsten.de; "Sky Scrapers" by Holizna: https://holiznaroyaltyfree.bandcamp.com/; "Celtic Heart" by Kira Daly: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/kira-daly/; "Six" and "Dissonance" by Lex Villena: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2iwj2SqGnplhDIadeJ5bmy?si=N8WYSKIPR7WUy8z4ajNSog; and "Walking Along" by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.com/. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

A private investigator no longer, Chief Davis says that she is devoting herself to cleaning up the streets of Gutter City once and for all. Lastly, Steepie's, a heartwarming yet shocking moment today in ephemera as an attempted robbery of theme restaurant Bumbershoots was thwarted by none other than the beloved ogre shrug. One lucky customer who saw the unfortunate thief absolutely demolished by the usually mild-mannered shroog said, It was terrible. The ferocity, the speed of violence. I don't think I'll ever forget it. Who would have guessed it? Lovable Shroo, a martial arts master?

Guess if you want to fight the big guy for his chunk of the swamp, you better never know when to stop dreaming. Yet, I'm sorry. I know that doesn't answer your question. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Steeplechase, a thrilling and... an exciting new adventure from me, the master of adventure.

Justin McElroy. Ooh. I thought somebody's got, you know, like Stephen King, the master of horror, how he books in was before he decided to be master of? One. Six.

This is our 26 episode, right? Like, I'm, I'm the master of adventure. Now, Justin, that was not off enough from the real number, which is 23. Like, you should have said, like, 63rd or something, because now people are going to be like,

did I miss? three episodes, that they cut three episodes out of the lineup? No, Justin just said the wrong number. This is episode 23. Yeah, but I did a couple one-offs. So this is like my 26th. Sure, sure, sure. And so I'm like the master adventure.

And listen, I think you need to put some kind of audio effect on there. It should be master of adventure. Why is he underwater? No, no, just kind of the through the fan blades kind of thing. It didn't sound like that, though. Sound using water. So here, what's going to happen is you all are going to steal a castle. And I've been thinking about it and thinking about how we could do it and set it up and explore more of the ideas of how to steal this fucking castle.

Oh, cool. How are we going to do it? Well, this is the problem. What occurred to me, and this is sort of inbuilt into the rules of Blaze in the Dark anyway, but. So I know this, but the scale of it has been scary to me, but I realized after many thinking showers, which are different from stinking showers, which you have to take every morning. Thinking showers are the ones that you take when you just need to think. After many thinking showers, I realize that I don't have a better way of doing it. We're just going to have to do it.

Okay. You're just going to have to steal it is the thing. I love those. was going to have to do it. Great. So thank you for that. You're welcome. Dad, pick a number between one and three.

Five. Now. Two. Wow. Two. There's, well, in that's defense, there's really only one number that comes between one and three. One is included in there as is two. You didn't say that.

Between one and three, Justin. I think one. Like, if you held up a peanut butter sandwich, if you held up a peanut butter sandwich that, what's between these bread and I said bread? I looked like a fool. If I said pick a number between one and ten and you said ten, no, everyone would say, oh yeah, that's perfectly within the bounds of this exercise. Okay.

So what are my bounds again? Holy shit. Between zero and four. Juice, why don't you take one of the other options away and then see if he wants to switch? Two, two, two, two. Okay, okay. Travis, pick one or three? I'm going to pick one, Justin.

for me, please. I don't get to pick. Okay, that's Griffin. That was Griffin? Yeah. I like the new character voice. I was stretching. Yeah. I always stretch before a heist. Griffin.

McElroy. Let me set us up a little bit. It is the night of the annual feast which takes place every night. annual Feast of the Seven. You know the crowds have begun to gather for the feast and for the fireworks show, Dream It to Now. And this is the moment that the three of you have-

A magical carpet ride. Hey, listen, only I get to sing Dream It to Now, which I will with very little provocation. The three of you have taken your places. Griffin, where are you beginning? this heist. I mean, I think... Oh, wait, sorry, to continue my recap, there are three...

We know that there are three beach well-sized prisms that have to be taken, taken out, or stolen, or malfunctioned, or something in order for this castle to be stolen. Right. No one knows that the castle

is being generated by hard light, and that's what these three hard light prisms are doing. we also know that there is a sink issue of some sort with the prisms that is that that emrick was hipped to by the union i b o s t 2626 in the last episode and we also know there's a fireworks barge that beef has been working at with james debarge he's the new best friend his new best friend um and just to run it way way back to when we were originally given the job We are given the instruction. I know that we need to make the castle go away, the spire, the gall spire. Was there further, because I was a little bit confused about this last week, regarding what happens to the prisms, is it like you bring them back whole and well or no deal?

I don't think so. No. What they need is the show of it. Great. I think that's why Emmerich has always maintained that he'd rather they steal them so that we can use them. Okay. Rather than destroy them if we can. Right.

Got it. Yes. Griffin. I am going to, I mean, I think my first order of business is to reach the ferry shack. So that might be a little bit too far in to choose as a starting point, but I do know that Deep Dark knew a way to sort of get me in there. So that's my first goal. You tell me if I'm up in it or if I need to do a little bit more. Get all up in it.

Here, okay. You go to the place that Deep Dark labeled for you as the entrance to the shack. and what you see once you arrive there is basically a thin tunnel ascending into the sky is probably a good hundred feet up into the air. I love that. Straight up? Straight up. Oh, perfect.

Great. Yeah. Deep Dark was not super specific. Yeah, sure. About this. Well, he never is about fuck all. Yeah. And you do see at the, uh,

Just dangling out of reach, there is a harness attached to a cable that ascends up into the shack. What you realize now at this point is that infinite Jesse the Spectre Fairy is probably getting rigged down here. Okay. And then brought up into the shack. Okay. Can I reach the harness? I think the only thing that I said about it is that it, Just out of reach.

So maybe if you sit on your tiptoes or if you jumped slightly. Can you try that? I'll do a Sam Fisher. I'll sort of, or a ninja warrior sort of, you know, spider crawl up the, up just to where I can grab it.

Oh, you'll just do a ninja warrior spider crawl. Okay. Yeah. I didn't think he'll roll for it, Justin. I didn't think you'd solve my puzzle that easily. All right, Griff, grifter. get let's like uh prowl i think this this would be prowl yes which i have just juiced to two after leveling up my prowess uh i think that it is risky because you could have fallen hurt yourself sure

um but it is real helicopter gm over here i yeah i think that it is standard effect because this i mean i've seen sam fisher do it and he's he's a regular guy yeah 5 4 5 4 Okay. Sam Fisher's only 5'4? Yeah, he's a little guy. Yeah, he's a long orangutang arms. Wow. Montrose, you leap up and manage to, there's like a bit of a foothold where the tunnel has come slightly out of alignment and you're able to get one foothold up. And you manage to press your shoulder up.

So it's kind of creating tension between your shoulder. and this like small foothold that you found. Yeah. And with a five, a mixed success, uh, that you find that you are now, uh, slightly, uh, stuck.

Okay. Nice. Beef. Yeah. You are, uh, you find yourself beef on a, uh, well, on the fireworks barge,

is sort of what we had talked about. Um, you're on the fireworks barge. What you see there, it's a long ship. There are rows of these like four foot by four foot encasements made of metal, and each one of them has nine or 16, three inch wide, like black tubes that are emanating out of them. There's series of wires that are running from each of these tubes, all back to a couple of a central conduit.

You know this because you've been helping with this work all day. you've been stuffing these pots full of powder and the different colorings and wiring them back to the main area at the central booth where all of these have been wired into. Excellent. I continue to do a good job. And you retire at the age of 70. And I retire. And I'm careful, right, because we're dealing with fireworks here. Justin, I would like to. So if I'm picturing this correctly, right,

Um, is there a way to adjust the angle of these tubes? Or is it all affixed and welded and everything? There is a way to adjust the angle of the tubes that not probably not manually, uh, I would say, um, that it is probably going to be, uh, I mean, you could probably do one or two manually before someone's like, tell you, those are computers. Yeah. Don't mess with it. It's done by computers. But I imagine the whole rig itself, like the base of it is probably a fixed, right? I can't just lift it up.

Of the, like, these enclosement, encasements? Yeah, so if it's like a line of tubes, right, in the encasement. Sorry, I thought you meant the barge itself. No, no, no, no. I mean, listen, I do have the ability to push myself to do superhuman, but I imagine lifting an entire barge and pointing it somewhere might be beyond my capabilities. I mean, it's floating. That's a good point. You could, like, change the direction of a few of them, but it is not meant to be manually controlled.

This is all, like, very specific work. I got it. Okay. So I'm going to go over to James, then, who I assume is, like, at the control board. Yeah. Oh, hey, you've been doing a really good job. Just sort of messing around with the computer here. Now, Travis, yeah?

Let me show you. Yes. James is my asset. I'll remind you. What? James is my asset? Yeah. Can you make it a little bigger, please?

Ah, I see. There's not a joystick like I was hoping. So here's what you see. It's a series of... There's a small computer readout. There are... That's like a digital display. There are several numbered

buttons that allow you to choose the module. You're not sure what that means. and then there's a cue selection area full of buttons. And then there's a big, there's a safety, there's a power switch, and there's a key, and a few other, like, functions there. And that is what you're looking at. It is not especially digital, or sorry, it's not especially technical. It looks like it's probably been put through its paces. Sort of analog?

Analog, there you go. I mean, it's computer. It's like, there's analog buttons. a calculator. Does that make sense? Like a calculator. Yeah, I think like a calculator or speak and spell, that kind of vibe. Okay. With some knobs and stuff. Oh, it did. James, did you build this?

Uh-huh. No, this is an XL4. It's, you know, pretty much off the shelf. I did put some, look on the side. And you look at the side of the box. Oh, see. And you see, like, a robot wearing a wizard's cloak. He's like, that's kind of how I see my... Like a techno wizard. Yeah.

Yeah, man, I see you that way too now I went over the face paint booth and they said normally They don't paint on boxes but they said that it was fine So they did it The thing looks pretty fucking sick You are always pushing that envelope bro Like developing new shit and painting on boxes and everything

I love this Yeah, I mean I'm kind of a pioneer Yeah I mean that sounds stupid I'd say but like No Not stupid at all man Hey I'm trying to do stuff different Like the debarges have been running this barge for a long time

And like I want to be the debarge that sort of mixes it mixes it up a bit and change you know yeah man I want to be an innovator listen can I tell you something and I mean this from the heart I've been walking around One friend yeah man I've been walking around a femurra a little while now and listen yeah castles are cool and there's like dragons of shit You make fireworks explode oh well the computer's actually triggered oh come on man I've been packing this shit all day you know that we set it up you program it you can do whatever you want with this thing yeah I mean

yeah it's not yeah I mean within reason sure like I would need yeah I mean yeah like you're right you know yeah like if you wanted to I mean could you do like patterns and stuff where they explain like you point them in different directions

and make like a smiley face or something I know that James is your asset but I do need you I want you to do a sway roll that's more about himself like. Oh, I like that. Okay, yeah, I'm inspiring him. Inspiring, yeah, it's like an inspirational sway. An inspirational sway. An inspirational sway. I begin.

Much like sway. Yeah. That's like sway to be a better reporter every day. It inspires me to be a better reporter every day. And a very inspirational lunch with sway at one time. That's the, what are we looking at here? Risk, you controlled? No, this is like, no, this is, this is controlled. And I'm just going to say it's like, great effect. How about that? Because you guys are friends. Right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to push myself. Okay. On this, because I want James to believe him himself. This is very important to me. You're going to talk the hell out of James. Hell yeah. What I get?

I got a six and a three, yes. Wow. Wow. Yeah, you know what? You're right. I could do fucking anything. Yeah, man. I can do anything.

It's like the song. says dream it to now never know the limits of the dream the tuition tonight do you know that song do you know the song yeah but I hear it every night so it's kind of stuck in my head yeah

hey man um but you're right I should dream it to now yeah I could do anything I want how surgical are you with this thing you know what I mean like how good is your aim probably like better than anybody's aim ever has been with any of this stuff yeah dude except maybe my dad had Hey, no, man.

You got young nimble fingers. He's old. And I love your dad. You know that. He's like my own dad. But you're better at this, man. He's dead. Yeah.

I love him for that. Now, not around to complicate things. Yeah, I get your subtle meaning. Now, do you think you could, because I'm looking at the Gulffire there, right? And I can see two windows lined up on either side. Could you shoot, like, through the windows?

I mean, I want to get fired. Probably, yeah. Oh, come on, man. You know what? Hey, I'm your bud. You do it. You blame it on me.

But, like, you'll know, man. Hold on. Let me fiddle with it a little bit. Okay. Dad. We had talked about, so you have been working in the, the, the, the, the, the, the Gull Spire trying to figure out this, this sink issue that's happening. Mm-hmm.

I am going to start you out in the tunnels. Now, the tunnels are a layer. It's sort of like how the buttercream got started because there were supposed to be other similar layers that were disused. So quick background on this. Disney World has something called the Utilidor's, and Utilador is an underground layer to the park,

these tunnels that make it so that the archaic legend is that Walt Disney was at Disneyland, and he saw someone walking from, like, frontier land to Tomorrowland in their Frontierland suit across Main Street and into Tomorrowland. And it broke the immersion. Yeah, you had them killed, right? He had them assassinated, yes. Walt Disney World has a layer beneath the castle. Everything you're in Magic Kingdom is actually the second story,

because the first story is the Utilodores, which has breakrooms. It has all kinds of different... The catacombs filled with bodies. Yeah, right, exactly. So modeled similarly to that, I wanted to give a concept for people that weren't aware. So this is a thing, and it is a similar to where you find yourself now. It also contains within it, like I said, break rooms, changing areas, some restaurants. There's the hard light animation control system or the hacks, which is the,

the nerve center for a lot of the hard light that is within the park. And in addition to the hard light, it's also where the older animatronics and things like that are also controlled from. And you are starting your way out in these tunnels. Dad, you just finished a filling dinner of hot dogs and ice cream from the snack cart. And you have made your way with your dinner break completed, you have made your way into. the tunnels. My body just humming with nitrates. Yeah, you've got all the, yeah, you didn't go for the uncured stuff.

You went hard. Nice. Okay, the one thing that I think Emmerich would want to establish as soon as he possibly can is, what kind of framework are the prisms suspended from? There has to be some kind of actual physical, you know, presence to, to hold these prisms. Uh-huh. And I think he's going to try to use the,

uh, the access tunnel to try and make his way physically to those prisms. It's, it's paper machine chicken wire. You know, like a kid's volcano? Super easily destroyable, no matter what. Yeah, man. Very flammable. Uh, dad, you activate, uh, uh, you flip a switch in, uh, that, one of the guys gave you

is sort of like a testing thing but rather than searching for traces of electricity like an electrician would use to test voltage in a wall. This is searching for hard light

conduits. The sort of power needed to get hard light going which is considerable. The power comes from underneath but you're able to follow the conduits. You follow them until you find yourself at what appears to be an access hatch that you could raise or lower.

And there's a small wooden staircase going up to this access hatch. And then there is a hatch where the trail kind of heads to. Emrick opens that hatch, wants to see if the prism is inside it. Okay. Emrick opens the hatch and there's a slight resistance as you seem to be pushing up something like Velcro. And as you push it all the way open, you find yourself in a side hallway

of the Galspire Castle Lobby. It is incredibly phenomenally gorgeous. There are couches and chairs and tables lining the floor. There's a marble flooring that's into the center of the center of the room. Is this the Grand Floridian? No, this is actually the picture that I'm showing you guys is a, it's a hotel in China that I liked the look of. There are two staircases emanating from

the center of the room up to the sides and then back up to the center taking you to the second story. There are three stories here from ground to ceiling, huge, blindingly white tiles that are stunningly gorgeous like everything else. Like a motel six. It's like a motel 6,000. Whoa. The scalloped ceiling stretches so high, it makes you a little dizzy to look at.

And there, at the center of this scallop ceiling, it's Tom Bodette, Thousand. No. It is actually... When you're here, you're a thousand families. Hanging from the ceiling... Is Tomberette? It's terrible.

No. It hanging for the ceiling is a large crystal chandelier that you realize with your device in hand houses one of the prisms. Chandelier. Hmm. Are you tired of being picked on for only wanting to talk about your cat at parties?

Do you feel as though your friends don't understand the depth of love you have for your guinea bit? When you look around a room of people, do you wonder if they know slots only have to eat one leaf a month? Have you ever dumped someone? for saying they're just not an animal person. Us too. She's Alexis B Preston.

She's Ella McLeod. And we host Comfort Creatures. The show where you can't talk about your pets too much, animal trivia is our love language, and dragons are just as real as dinosaurs. Tune into Comfort Creatures every Thursday on Maximum Fun. I'm Lisa Hannawalt, and I'm Emily Heller. Wow, Emily, we've been doing this podcast for 10 years.

I know, but hey, don't worry. You can jump in at literally any episode and hear us talk about some of our favorite stuff, Caterpillars becoming butterflies. Martha Stewart flying around in a private jet full of trees. Yes, you heard me right. Trees. Neighbors becoming enemies.

Just kidding. Whatever messed up stuff we can find on Wikipedia. Our impeccable taste in everything from dogs to TV shows to bodily functions. And horses. Lots and lots of horses. Come for our horned up rants about the world. Stay for the catchy theme songs. You might not learn anything, but we're a good hang.

Baby geniuses. Every other week on Maximumfun.org. Tell us something we don't know. Griffin. Yeah. Dad. Whoa, that was quick. Yeah.

Travis. Yeah? I just want to keep everybody on their toes. Dad, let's see. So everybody knows where everybody is at right now, right? We've established a beginning location and maybe even a beginning arc. Who wants to go next? Yeah.

Oh, that was beautiful, guys. That was some blood harmony umming right there. Thank you. Try it again. Ready? Three, two, one. I think Beav's part is a little bit contingent on Emmerich's part. Yeah.

So I need to wait. Okay. Amherst part or my part? All the parts. They're all working in concert. I would like to just sort of like get, just for my own headspace unstuck from this big tunnel. Okay. You manage to shimmy up just a little bit more

You are no longer stuck and you are now, I guess, Grasping onto the harness, correct? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, can I get myself into it? That would probably be... I mean, I can sort of Sam Fisher sort of... Yeah, yeah, you can get yourself into it, no problem.

Okay. Okay, now you're in it and you're hanging into... It's pretty tight on the sort of crotch area. Cool. I think it's probably meant for someone of a different carriage, but you do manage to squeeze, squeeze yourself into this harness. Okay. And then I...

Wait, slow down. Johnson, could you, uh, just for the audience, talking more about Griffin's squeezing my character's private. My character's private... Yeah. It's all usual and normal. Cool. Okay.

Regular and not interesting. And I go zip up to the ceiling. Dude, what? Hold on. Whoa, he did it. He did it. But he said he did. He zipped your crotch.

He sent his crotch Under the ceiling I mean I don't see any kind of You know There's not like a cool button Like a remote With a up button on it

This all right now guys I'm gonna stop right here Okay And leave this in And double it This is the kind of thing That I'm saying to you This is the situation

You have Remember that you were ready for this You're right Remember that you prepared for this You know this stuff you've been getting the lowdown from between Deep Dark and Emmerick's work and what has been happening on the barge to a lesser extent, but still what's been having on the barge. You have all the information you need. Like you have this information.

You knew this would happen. You're right. Griff, what happens next? I say, I do not know the weight differential between myself and, um, What's the Infinite Fairy's name? Infinite Jesse the Spectre Fairy. I do not know the weight differential between myself and Infinite Jesse the Spectra Fairy, but he is hoping I'm not about to break both my legs.

And I unpin myself from the wall and hope that the sort of pulling down force then rips it back up sort of like how you drop blinds. You know what I'm saying? Oh, you're trying to give it a tug. I'm giving it a tug to activate the real. Yes. He squeezed his crotch and gave it a tug. Go. I don't know why there would be a harness attached to a cable going up into the room I'm trying to get to without it having some sort of retracting force. There is, I'll tell you, I'll tell you, okay, you give it a cheeky tug, and you're right. The system is not meant for your, it is well balanced for Jesse the Spectra Fairy.

But of course, people do use this to get up and down. So there is an emergency failsafe. And in this case, is an emergency failsafe that lowers you gently to the ground. Okay. So not a cheeky tug system then. I don't know. Now you're on the ground, maybe you try another cheeky tug. Yeah, I'm just going to try cheeky tugging for the next 15 minutes or so.

And you let me know if it ever does, it me back up. On the third, on the third cheeky tug, you hear a noise from above. Excuse me, is everything okay down there? Hello? Carla, is that you? What happened? How did it get deployed so quickly? It's earlier.

I saw some movement coming through on the computers. Carla, are you down there? You okay? I am. Holy shit. It sounds bad. I am okay. Oh, God.

Can you be a dare and pull me up? Oh, my God, Carly. You sound so different from how you've always sounded. Oh, told. Can you be a deer and pull me up? Holy shit. You know what, Griff? I want you to do, I guess, sway, right?

Yeah. A sway roll? Yeah. Sway roll. I'm going to say that it is controlled and it is standard because this guy already feels pretty bought in. Here we go. 624. Whoa.

Nice. Okay. Carla, hold on one second. and you hear a slap like he's slapping a button up at the top and you are suddenly catapulting at horrifying speeds up through this tunnel and you zip up through and you see a man standing in front of you. He's about five feet tall and he's got a comb over and he's got what appears to be the lowest effort fantasy outfit possible.

It still has like, buttons on it and he's got a name tag. But if you saw him at 100 yards, he might look like a peasant or something like that. And his eyes, he sees your mask and he takes three steps back. Oh, God. Who are you? Uh. You're just dangling, baby.

What's his name tag say? Guilt. Justin. No, guilt? Like, G-U-I-L-T? That's fucking kick ass, dude. Yeah, very religious parents. GILT.

Guilt. Okay. Guilt. Fuck. No, just guilt. His name is guilt. It's always been guilt. Wait, let me check my sheet.

Make sure I have it right. Yeah, it says guilt. Yeah. What are you going to do? I don't know why I wrote guilt. He's covered with gold. No, that's, no. Nope.

His name is guilt. That's what it says. Weird. And he's only, he's only partially. covered with gold, Dad. It's unrelated. I say, well,

my name is Ezra Good Party. And unfortunately, guilt, you have just made a fireable offense.

Can I unhook myself from this thing? No. Okay. You can't. It seems like I should maybe be able to try. Okay.

Griffin, I will let you try and I will let you live with the consequences of a failure. Okay. Just a big hole right below you. Is this a desperate? No, it is risky. Okay. And standard. But if it goes bad, it'll break so bad.

You're right. No, I don't want to do this. I'll use my silver tongue instead. What does that do? Oh, it's not a power. It's just like. It's the thing that people say sometimes, Justin, where it means, like, you're really convincing. There is a power called Silver Tongues, actually, in the game.

Okay, so everybody can shut up. Perfect, very good to hear. I say, I work for deltonic security, and I do believe we have just found. Sorry. Wait, did you say deltonic? Dintonic. Okay. Sorry, I was listening to the deltonics earlier, and it... Oh, yeah, I love them. Yeah, so great. No, but I am at Dentonic Security, and we knew there has been some failures in protocol lately, and I do believe I have just found the source of it, Ezra.

I'll need your badge and your name tag, and you'll need to come with me to the security office to be, well, your judgment will be decided from there, but I do not think it'll be pretty. I can't lose this job. Please, you don't understand. It was just, you just sounded exactly like Carla. I think you and I both know that's not true. Pretty close to Carla. Okay. Well, let's go down.

I'll lower you down first. Can you let me out of this, please? I guess, yeah. Thank you. And he unhooks you and lowers you down because he's pretty scared about it. Does he have a radio or anything? Yeah, yeah, he's got a radio. I'm gonna try and steal that off of him as he walks by me.

Or as I'm like strapping him into the harness. Just, you're putting him into the harness? Yeah, so we can go down. Okay, if you want to get him in the harness, I was gonna let you not have to roll to get out of the harness, but if you're getting him into the harness, that is good, I am gonna need to see a roll on that. Yeah, I mean, I'm explaining,

I'm taking into security, and we have to go down to security together, and the harness is the fastest way. And listen, you don't want, you trying to sway me or you. You don't want patrons to see a, a member of deltonic security escorted guilt

it would really disrupt the whole illusion yeah okay yeah we're gonna have to we're gonna need a roll okay what's this one this one is control good

limited effect limited can I trade can I trade position for effect yeah yeah yes yes you can cool sway so this would be a risky sway roll standard. Yeah, standard, yeah.

Okay. God, do I really want to start pushing it? It feels like this is a pretty big potential failure point, so I am going to push it by one. And take two stress. Okay, please. Yes, 5-615. Wow, six. So I should get into the harness. I'm honest, I've always wanted to, yeah, you know, I've always wanted to try it.

So if you're sure it'll be safe. Yeah. So you'll lower me down first and then... Yes. I'll tell you what, if I do this, will you take it easy on me? Tell them that you were extremely convincing? I will do what is in my limited power to protect you. Here, let me get you all strapped in.

And I want to take his radio. Oh, okay. And your name, Finesse. Sure. I want to say finesse, it's controlled and standard because he is in the harness now. So he's just kind of dangling around. 264. God, I caught to grab it.

Take his key card too while you're at it. You snatch his radio. Hey, wait. And his key card. Come on. Come on. He didn't say his keycard. He said his radio.

We're not going to need key cards where we're going. Or maybe we already have them. Wink. And I say, Hey, wait, oh, this is so, okay, now, you know, if that makes sense, because you wouldn't want, like, I could be volatile right now. You don't want me just calling me wherever. Okay, and you have a Rivadurchi, and I press the button to start lowering him down. And then when he's like halfway, I'm going to stop it.

Out, my mouse! My golden eggs. And... My camel's advanced. And then I'll throw on the sort of like a break that the repair crew uses to sort of turn off that tug system because I don't want him having a slow tug down. I just want him to stay put right there without his radio for the next like hour or so. Okay. And I am going to start suiting up.

You're sorry, what does suiting up mean for you? Well, I need to get on the Gull Spire, and the only way that that's going to seem normal is if I do look like Infinite Jesse the Spectre Fairy. All right, you get dressed. I want to pivot over to Emmerich. Emmerc, you are in... Where did we leave you, bud? I'm looking at the chandelier. Yeah. Okay, yes.

I think first of all, he needs to get on the chandelier. He's going to get on the chandelier This is just one of the prisms, right? This is just one of the prisms. That is the other thing I want to remind you guys. Whatever needs to happen needs to happen simultaneously. Yes. Right.

Okay. How is he going to get? Okay. He's overlooking this lobby, right? You know what, Dad? There has to be some access to the chandelier because somebody has to like work on it, repair. There has to be a way to get to the shangler.

It's technology that was invented it's technology that was invented at the parks over 100 years ago. It's called a ladder. Okay. Big ladder. Big ladder. And you'll never believe this. It's two Ds in the middle. Yeah, it's proprietary.

It's the deltonic big ladder. Stop saying deltonic. It's dentonic. Dentonic. No, no, no, guys. Deltonic is a ladder company. Yeah. Oh shit, okay, fine.

This is a genuine stainless steel A-frame deltonic. This thing will get you up and down safe. Dad, you are, Dad, here's what I'll give you. The access panel that you found takes you to the, you are on the third story, but there's a good, I mean, 10 yards between you and the chandelier. But so you're, you're not like, you can't reach it or anything, but you are on the same level is where you have begun. Okay. Well, he's, there's no need for secrecy.

He's there on a sanctioned job, right? He's supposed to be there. Yeah. And supposed to be working on the sync issue. I'll tell you what, I'll tell you that you have a good, a really good excuse. How's that? Like, you, yeah. I'm not saying nobody's going to bat an eye, but you definitely do have, because you got a double six if memory.

service in the last one. Yeah. So I'm really inclined to sort of give you the proverbial keys of the kingdom. All right. Is there anybody, is this lobby, I mean, populated? I mean, is this open to the public? Are there people down there? There are, it's a little thin because, so here's the way it works. There is a main path that takes you directly through the castle. Okay. There are, there's like an entrance across a moat, the moat. that we know of. And then to the, there's an exit out that you can enter at,

sorry, the entrance and exit is that same path. There is a west and a east exit out of this main lobby area, two large archways to the left and the right as you're facing it. And it is thin, the crowds are thin because the, show is going to start and this is not the optimal place to view dream it to now you do see a

the only sort of stream of people that you see are heading uh into the west alcove um the the east alcove you see actually has some where you could see a door it's very faint as though they don't necessarily want you to uh look over here it is a it is a door that is just for making people that you probably wouldn't have even noticed except it was pointed out to you during your shift. But that is that is the crowd situation. Will that hidden door take me to the chandelier? I mean, will it take me up closer to the chandelier? No. It is it is it is it is sort of mirrors the large exit to the left that goes into you can let's see you can smell food coming from it. You hear some music coming from that way. You, you

you get the sense that that's where, or you don't get the sense, you know, this is, what did I call it? It's pretty good. Dear Feastin House. That's really good. That's Deer Feastin House, where the actual people who pay

to do the feast, where that takes place. Dad, may I ask, just out of my own curiosity, what are you hoping to do with the chandelier? Like, why are you trying to get to it? Well, I think Amric is still wrestling

with trying to save the prisms for them, but I think he's slowly coming around to the fact that they're not going to come out of this with the prisms intact. Sure we are. Oh, we are? We should try. Griffin thinks that you should try. Oh. That's what Montres thinks.

Can we have a flashback? Yes, who's. All of us. Just to decide this. Yeah. Flashback. Okay. I want full-blown like Danny Ishan looking over a map of what we know about the Gull Spire while we have this stop.

Yeah, you're over a large table. You've spread out the map of the Gull Spire, the one you see below you. If we do this, if we do this, I have to insist that Griffin come up with some kind of, some kind of music. Groovy music, okay. Some groovy music. Oh, Dad, I can take Kitner. Yeah, yeah.

Fucking good job, Dad. You know what's about to happen? No. You did this. You're about to be just the punishment that is happening will be. No, no, no, no. Start your meeting. Start your meeting.

Okay. Seems like we. You fellows know that I really want to save the person. Sorry, guys, that was me. Excuse me. Please, this is a small. Please do not. Somebody do not.

Strangling a goose. Don't jazz in here right now, Matt. Magnus. Beef, please. But if you fellows think that it'd be better just to destroy them, I'll understand. This is... I'm not saying better. Not better.

It just might be simpler. This crime will be something of a statement piece for us. I'm thinking of this as, well, we must be discreet in the eyes of the law. But at the same time, we have an opportunity here to... to make, to build our brand, let's say. Anybody can go up and blow up a building. Right, right. That's not dramatic.

What is dramatic is a building suddenly disappearing, as its prisms are stolen away by three gentlemen thieves. I think I can do the part about them, quote unquote, disappearing. Mostly because of the sink issue, if I can adjust the sink to the bank, to the point where they aren't in any way, shape, or form synced or sink to the point where they will only activate

once a year or something ridiculous like that. It will give the impression that they have disappeared. But then how do we get the prisms out of the gullspire? We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Into flashback. In flashback. In flashback. This is not, again,

Okay, so in Flash, I guess. Okay. All right. I assume there's some kind of communication between Amherick and the person who gave him the assignment. Who gave him the assignment? Oh, between Amherk and Justin. Yeah. He gets on the radio and tells Justin,

Um, um, testing. Hello? Hey, it's Justin. It's beefy Justin. Hello, BJ. I, uh, I was right into that. I am right on the brink of fixing the sink issue. Oh, what a relief.

What I'm going to need to do is I am going to need to reinforce, I have to run some cables between the three prisms. Oh, okay, yeah. In order to, you know, perfectly analyze what is the issue with the sink. So I need to connect them. Is there a way where I can have some kind of access to all three, I assume there's already some kind of connector between the three prisms. Is that correct?

Yeah, I mean, the sinking, yeah, they're all plugged into the same net. So, yeah, I mean, that's why the sink thing is so puzzling, because there are conduits that are connecting all three of the prisms. Then I think I need to check that conduit. So I would like someone to bring out a baglatter so I can, at least check the first shan, the prism in the chandelier, and then I will need some kind of easy access to the other two prisms. Just to make sure that that connecting conduit is in good shape.

I may have to run some other, another cable between them. You know how it is. Yeah. You know, can this happen after the close, after the phase? No, no, no, no. Well, that depends. Do you want the sync issue to continue? you know, during tonight's performance

and have run the possibility of it flickering in and out. No, no, no, no. I'm really supposed to have it cleared up tonight. Oh, then I need some kind of easier access to all three prisms and I need it now. Okay, you just got to be really careful. Oh, I'm always very careful. Okay, because we're going to have people...

So you can tell from my limp and my bad arm that I'm always very careful. Okay. Yeah, so if you... Okay, look at the column second from the front. You see? Yes. That one is actually hollow.

It's, yeah, it's an access thing. It's all blended into the environment. Very impressive. Wait until no one is watching. And then you can use your key card to just swipe in. And you can climb up to the conduit, no problem. Excellent. Thank you very much.

So there are still some people in that lobby, though, right? Uh-huh. Yeah. Um, he, uh, uses the give a ghost projector and projects Scott at some point. His, farthest away. His favorite summons. My favorite summons. Well, he's been working so far.

He's got Ifret, he's got Shiva. He's got red. He just only uses Scott. You know what? This time, Dad, summon Bahamut. Summon Bahamut. No? No.

Okay. Some of the twilight, the night's the round. Yeah. Fucking go hard. Do it eight times. I'm sending, I'm beaming. Scott into the farthest point away from that column to have him draw the attention of everybody

because he is a well-known personality. He is a well-known personality. And he says something along the lines of... Everybody who wants it... Well, you would actually do this. No, you do it. Go for it. Hey, everybody. Hi, it's me, Scott Bowflex.

I've never been to this event. Would somebody like to go with me to watch the fantastic show? Okay, I like this energy. This reminds you with like full house would go hell yeah, dude. Or like the Brady Bunch at

a Brady bunch at King's Island. Yeah, I love it. And which would draw people away, at least draw their attention away so Emmerich can climb up the column. Okay, yeah, that's that, you know what? I'm not going to make a role for that. It makes perfect sense.

It would be quite a thing. to see Scott Boldflex there in the lobby of the of Galspire Castle, or the Galspire. So, yeah, that's worked out perfectly. And you have made your way into the column. There are hand rungs that are cut into the column, which appears to just be made of plaster, but you're able to climb up to the top. And you find yourself in, I'm assuming you want to climb up. Yes.

Yes. Okay. You find yourself in a, frankly, it is, kind of disconcerting how big it is because there's not a lot up here in this like cavernous area what you do feel is heat

an incredible amount of heat being generated by when he said conduits he wasn't fucking kidding they're in sort of a V pattern so you look in front of you and you can feel like heat emanating from this central column and these

are lying parallel to the floor are these like big, thick conduits. There's one coming from the center, which you can understand when I say center, that is definitely the one that is the chandelier. You can feel heat emanating from a conduit connected there. There's two conduits that emanate out of it.

Probably about 100 feet. I would say, no, no, it's got to be far than that. Yeah, probably about a half of football field. That's something a sport I was getting to appreciate in either direction. You can't see what they're connected to or anything else, but that is where you find yourself. And there is a slight glow, and you can tell the glow is literally just the heat being generated by these. There is also above you, large fans that are cooling this area, which is extremely warm, which are cooling this area, which are hidden by sort of the artifice of the castle and the ankles,

so where it wouldn't necessarily be extremely obvious it is a fan, but they are cranked up so high you can barely hear yourself to think. Okay, I'm thinking to myself, do I see the prism? The prism is inside the chandelier, which is in the room below you. So, no, you could make, there's probably another access panel where you could see it closer to, though. Well, with my.

ghost mind where I can detect hard light? I mean, yeah, you know where it is. I mean, you just, you know where it is. It's where that chandelier was. It's in the chandelier back. I know it's in the chandelier. I'm trying to figure out how it is suspended within the chandelier. I need to go check that out. It doesn't need to be suspended because it's all create. Remember, this is all the prism, right? Everything you're doing is hard light. This is a hard light castle. So it doesn't have to be suspended. It just is there.

It is there because it is creating the castle. Okay. The prism is connected by the conduit to the other prisms? Yes. Yes. And I am at the lowest prism or I am at the... You're at the central prism. If you imagine a V shape, which you should because it is, you're at the bottom of the V.

So there is a conduit. To your left, which is going towards Der Festen House. There is a conduit to your right that is headed across the floor to your right that is going to that closed alcove. Okay. So, Dad, just to clear up the geography for you, right? Right. There is the spot where the chandelier is. From where that is, there are two large, hot conduits that are one, one,

to the west where the Deer Feastonhausen is, and one to the east to the closed alcove. And there are large fans above you in this like big cavernous room that are blowing away the excess heat. Okay. So central prism, west prism, east prism. Okay. And I, uh, Emmerich is at the central prism. Correct.

Right. Correct. Okay. Um, he makes his way, uh, to the, to where he can actually physically access the prism and whatever kind of devices are connected to it. Okay. The prism, yeah, this makes sense. The prism is in the fixture of the chandelier, sort of where the chandelier connects to the ceiling.

And you could reach the prism where you understand the prism to be. without much trouble, actually. I mean, you could access the prism. You have access to this prism. Okay. I think Emmerich makes his way, and I think it's so stiflingly hot, he unzips his coveralls to the waist,

because he's just burning up with him. Great. I love that. And makes his way to the chandelier, to the prism. Okay. And... Okay. So he can see the prism.

Uh-huh. Correct? Yes. Let's leave you here. Okay. You have access to... Well, yeah. And I think he gets on the radio to the other two, the earpiece and says, I am in position, position at the central prism.

So just wanted you know I'm okay. I'm a little warm. It's a little close, as my grandmother used to say, but I am fine. I don't want you two to worry about me. Beef, over to you. Or sorry, did you have something to talk to talk to? I was just saying, copy that, Casper. Okay.

That's our code name that we decided for you on this. Oh, cool. Casper? Yeah, like a ghost. Oh, right. Beef, you're still chatting with James who has said, Okay, listen, I got to get ready for the show. Once that music starts.

I got to flip the switch and get it cranking, okay? So I've had some time, Justin, to think. And you know what I've remembered about beef? What? He's soft. Soft beef. This is his friend, James. James, I, stop, wait.

You're my best friend. Yeah, you're my best friend. You know that. We don't even need to say it. It's nice to hear it. They'll get me wrong. Yeah. I can't.

I am here to do a job. Me too, man. I am, James, the gall spire has been replaced with hard light. It's not real. They got rid of the original actual real gall spire. Yeah, right. James. Look, it's like I wouldn't notice.

I look at that thing every dang day that I work. James, really look at it. Your best friend, Beef, telling you this. I'm not lying to you. Trev, why don't you give me a controlled controlled great effect role? Like an easiest possible role for command? Because I'm telling him to really look at it.

I bet you want it to be command. Yeah, sure it's command. Fine. Controlled with great effect. It makes success. I got five and a three. Okay, you know what? Maybe. Yeah, great. Maybe. Okay, maybe. I'm not like completely sold, but I could see.

They're doing a lot of crazy stuff with Hardlight now. So yeah, like maybe, maybe. Okay. James, I'm here to show the truth to people that it is Hardlight. I got friends working with me. And pretty soon, the job's going to get rolling. We're going to deactivate the highlight, and this old tower is going to disappear. And I'm telling you this.

Why are you telling me this? Because I was going to set up some stuff with the fireworks as a distraction, but I'm not going to do that to you. You're my best friend. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to offer you the opportunity to get out of this home drum life, the same debarge life that you could be stuck in doing this for the rest of your life until the next generation of debarge takes over and so on and so forth.

Or you could use... What? That sounds so good. I mean, just to hear you say it, that kind of security, like, when I think about my kids on this debarge, I think about the childhood I had on the debarge with the other debarges. And, yeah, I mean, it sounds incredible. But, yeah, what was the other thing you were going to say? You could use those skills and make some real money, have some fun. And let me remind your conscience that you're already my asset and best friend.

I mean, yeah, for sure. But, like, as my best friend, you should know that debaer. Departge life is all I've ever dreamed of, man. I love it here. I live for this shit. Do you understand? This is my family's barge. This is the debarge debarge.

Like, we've been running this for years. Like, my grandpa's grandpa was on the barge. But you think, what else could I do? James, listen, you're an artist. Right? You said it yourself. You could do your surgical with this. Right?

Yeah. be better than this. It's hard because the computer does like it's all computerized right but like I could I could freestyle it.

Yeah man. I've been telling everybody else like I could like do a freestyle one. You're a techno wizard bro like you're better than this you don't need to just do it man you could make a name

for yourself tonight you could have people begging to work with you yeah. Shit. Yeah I mean it could be It could be kind of cool Just to do one like

Freestyle right And you said that the Golf Spires aren't real right Yeah What's the And listen I got your back You know that

If you need to take a fall for you I will If you want to come with me And you know Have more adventure in your life And have the fun I got you there too bud Hey

Yeah Uh you've rolled enough with James you had a lot of success rolls I don't think I'm going to make you roll for this one you make a good you make a really compelling case yeah you know what tonight tonight is James DeBarger's chance to shine

I'm gonna get I'm gonna freestyle it tonight hell yeah I'm gonna get loose I'm gonna get freestyle you tell me some tricks you want to see I could do pretty much I'm like a and he holds up the box and he points at the wizard the wizard coat wearing robot. This is me. Yeah, man. You get it? Yeah. All right. Let's go over to Griffin. Montrose. I'm ready to, I'm ready to rip. I'm fucking ready to let it rip.

What are you, okay, knowing the placement of where everybody is, do you have a thing that you, like, you have an idea for what you want to do? Sure. Okay. hook into the wire connecting the ferry shack into the middle of the gall spire. Is it dark? What time is it? How are we doing? Time-wise. It's, it's, uh, it's, uh, 7.55.

You have five minutes until the show starts. Okay. Um, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go now. You're gonna go now? Okay. You hook in and you, uh, you hook into the line that connects your Ta, the Infinite Jesse's shack to the castle.

Okay. And in your incredible, brilliant wings, I'm assuming you put on the wings. I'm fully decked. I'm fully decked out. My mask is also, I want it to be sort of projecting something, you know, fantastical and fairy light. Justin, I also want to say after James and I talk through the tricks and stuff, I'm hoofing it to the castle.

I'm on my way. Smart. Smart. That's what I'm talking about. Okay. You go to the edge of this. There's like a small platform that's sort of emanating out maybe like four feet just below the wire that connects the shack to the castle. Okay.

Like a zip line, right? And you hook into the zip line and you want to jump off? Um, yes. That's where we'll stop. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.