The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Steeplechase - Episode 24

Episode Date: April 20, 2023

The boys pull out all the flashbacks, lore knowledge, and assets they have in order to successfully steal an entire building … hopefully. Montrose gets spendy. Emerich clogs the sync. Beef makes some commands.Opening monologue performed by Autumn Seavey Hicks: https://www.instagram.com/autumnseaveyhicks/?hl=en Additional music in this episode: "Celtic Heart" by Kira Daly: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/kira-daly/; "School Memory" by Adeline Yeo: https://clic.ly/adelineyeohp; "The 4t of May" by Maarten Schellekens: https://imlcollective.uk/product-category/library/maarten-schellekens-artist-profile/; "Fly Away (EDM Instrumental)" by Zight: https://www.instagram.com/zightmusic/; "Waiting in the Grocery Store" by Kirk Osamayao: kirkosamayo.com; "Voyageur” by Monkey Warhol: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Monkey_Warhol/; "Entangled Quanta" by Ihsan & The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/ihsan-the-cabinet-of-dr-caligari/; and "Six" by Lex Villena: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2iwj2SqGnplhDIadeJ5bmy?si=N8WYSKIPR7WUy8z4ajNSog. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

And let me say, Steepie's, I am loving the new fireworks added to dream it to now, which takes place every night at the annual Feast of the Seven. Last night, I was staring at it, just drinking it all in, and I was so focused. It was like everything melted away for a second. Even the Gaulspire. Seriously, we're not real religious or whatever over here at Steepie Watch, but it felt kind of like I bet it does for those people, but better. Right? Because if those churchy types want to wash down their epiphany with a strawberry tangerine ring of frost super slush, I hope they never know when to stop dreaming.

It's been bothering me. Hello, everybody, and welcome to the Adventure Zone, Siebel Chase, an adventure. You join us mid-heist here, mid-score, as these three knuckleheads are trying to steal a castle wall thing. Hey, I'm a chucklehead, sir. All right. And I'm a meathead, sir. To recap, our current situation, beef is, has just... What's for dinner?

That's funny. That's good. Thank you. We waited this many episodes for that. I have a lot of patience to make jokes. Everyone knows that. I wait for the exact right time. True?

Before I make the joke. Timing. Beef has set up some Firework shenanigans and is trucking it towards Gull Spire Montrose you are Hooked onto a wire and stepped off of the ledge

near Infinite Jesse's shack hurtling towards Gullspire and you Emrick are in the upper sort of like the cooling area above the three prisms that are creating Gull Spire Castle. This is, we were mid, sort of midway through this and we are picking back up. Do you three have any inkling of who would like to start? I would like to start.

Okay, excellent. I have something very simple for Emmerick to do. Emmerick is going to tap into the sync system to get. to gain control over it. Uh, okay. Um, I, I will, we'll see. We'll see if that, the, the sink should be happening of its own accord. We will try. We'll see though. We'll see how it goes. I'm gonna say that. I sure do wish that there was a different word for it, because every time dad says like the sink system,

I make sure like a drain and like plumbing and shit. It's really throwing me off. Uh, I'm gonna say that this is controlled. because you have the advantage of being the first one to sort of like interact with this thing. So I will say it is controlled. I will say that you will have limited effect because this is a very complex thing. And there's no way that you would have worked with something on this scale before. Like you just would not, you would know about it if something had existed. So I'll say controlled, limited effect.

All right. One, six, four. Six. Okay. With a six to limited effect, here's what has happened. You have made it worse, by which I mean that if the sink, if the sink issue happens and something drops out of sync, you have the ability to hold that in place, rather than it being like a nanosecond or whatever, you have the ability to, you can't make it go in and out of sync, but you, you, you can't make it go in and out of sync, but you, you, you, do have the ability to hold a sink loss if one should occur. Okay. Works for me. Okay, good. I want to take flight.

I'm ready to go. Okay. You are, I don't think you'd have to roll for this. This is going to be pretty safe. But you are hurtling. I mean, really trucking towards the, the gall spire. You have, of course, you know, heightened senses being an all-around bad boy. with a lot of experience like this.

This is what Blazadar is all about. So what are you doing on your flight? Yeah, describe it. Paint a word picture. I mean, I'm trying to look majestic. That much is clear. I'm also trying to like sort of keep myself steady to obscure the gigantic duffel bag.

I also am carrying with me. Okay. Maybe I've got it sort of tucked into the, I don't know, cool fairy gown or something. The cool fairy gown, yes, of course. And, you know, I got the wand extended and I'm singing. I love all these accoutre. Oh, you're singing.

Yeah. Sorry, what are you singing? The song. How's it go? The dream is now. Dream it too now. You would, of course, know that. Dream it too now.

You gotta dream it to now Can't wait for another day You gotta dream it Dream it to now Dream it to now Can I make it wait for another day You gotta dream it to now Take your

Skinny'll be that boop Surely I have to have made it across the zip line at this point Almost certainly Were you trying to attract attention? No Okay good You didn't attract it for yourself I mean if she went across the zip line and wasn't singing

It would have been weird Yeah I guess that makes it that makes a fair point I'll give it to you Griff You are now in you have made it to a window At the very top of the gall spire you are structurally speaking you are sort of directly above where emrick is right now roughly 130 feet above emirc actually when you say above like i can't see him right the gullspire is no there's a floor where you have landed you're in a room that has a floor access below you

and a spiral staircase that goes down down down no no no no down Okay, I get on the radio and I say the ferry has landed. How go things on the hard light system, Emmerick? The slicer is ready to interrupt the payload. All right. Would you be a deer and start connecting the conduit to these cables. I'm about to drop down.

Absolutely, yes. Cool. I open up the duffel bag and pull out some cables that I'm going to run down with like it's got a sort of like a harness or clamp on it to attach to the conduit below. Um, do, uh, do you, we didn't do a couple of the like pre, pre, uh, score things that we normally would do. Sure. So we didn't talk about load. This would be important for this, I suppose. Um, yeah.

So, uh, it's, I'm gonna rock normal. Cause I, I mean, I don't know. I have this big duffel bag with me. Yeah. That feels right to me. Okay. Um, and I guess we're going stealth with the approach. We didn't really discuss that either, but I feel like that's...

That was suggested, yeah. Yeah. That was what I got. And we didn't start to get... We didn't do an engagement role to see how well it started. So that's on us, I guess. We didn't? No, not for this one.

You had a roll of... Oh, you... Okay, wait, you were asking us to... Never mind. That was like a... Yeah, you live, you learn, though. You know what I mean? Sure, for sure, for sure.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, no worries. Okay, so you've dropped some cables down. I'm gonna say burglary gear. is essentially what we're talking about. So you open an access hatch. It's actually deception. I will actually say deception, right? You're all doing a little bit of tricking people.

We're trick or manipulate. I feel like it's sort of a blend. Okay. The cables have been dropped down. Wow, those are long cables you had, Griff. Yeah, sure. Are you connecting to something in the peak? Or what are you doing with your end?

It's connected to something in the duffel bag. Oh, excited. Okay, that's fun. The cables, it's a long drop, Griff. Give me a finesse roll to see how well we can get those cables down. Okay. Position, controlled?

Controlled, yeah, because you could pull it back up. And it's standard. It's not a tough one, but I do want to introduce some skill. 4-4-2. Not great. Not my best work. A 4 with a 4. A 4 is a mixed success. So how about this, Griff?

the cables actually get caught. Imagine a big spiral staircase with like a central hole. Yeah. Around, right? And you make it about 60 feet down and they get stuck. And you have to walk down like a bunch of stairs. I know. It's annoying.

And you have to walk down and unstuck them. And then they end up falling all the way to the ground. Cool. They're down there connected. Oh, boy. I connect it tight. Please make sure it is fastened as securely as it can be, please. While he's connecting, I want to say that beef has reached the kind of pavilion,

the outside area of the Gulf Spire. It is very crowded. What you notice is there's a lot of people that looks like they've been set up here for quite some time. They're not super amenable to you pushing through them, But you are making it through your just general physique and also a little bit of name recognition, I think is buying you a little bit of space. Okay. I want to use my bodyguard thing. It talks about when you gather info to anticipate possible threats in the current situation, you get plus one effect.

So I guess even though I have zero in it, I'm going to do a survey of the area to see if I can spot, like, security or, staff, like the people were just like, okay, great, they're going to be coming from this direction when this all goes down. Okay, yeah. Um, I have zero in it, so I don't know how it's going to go, but is what's my effect? So, I mean, well, that's just for future. I just have to do it that I spent time looking for possible threats and then in the future. I understand. Yeah, you spend it later. I dig it. Um, okay, go ahead and, and so you're going to roll two. And, you're going to roll two. I mean, you probably just click it and it'll do the roll automatically. I'm pretty sure. Yeah, what's my position? We're going to say that this is controlled. You're just standing in a crowd. No problem.

What's the effect? Um, unfortunately, I'm going to say you have limited effect because it makes sense. Yeah, there's a lot of people here and we know that the people who are on security are trying to stay, um, a little bit more incoctuary. Oh, okay. Well, I got a six and a four, but because it was the lowest I said, I don't have it. So a four, a mixed success. We'll take a mixed success on a zero dice roll, man. Yeah.

Yeah, that's still tracks. Okay, you are in the pavilion. What you notice with another role, with that particular role, is that there is, obviously the access path, there's the one big bridge that everybody uses to get into the pavilion, right, around Galspire. you also notice that there is a just to the opposite side of where you are where you come in from the east on the opposite side to the west you notice that there's a small draw bridge that is not themed particularly it's not to draw your eyes or anything but there is a sort of like quick access bridge it looks like they could drop on the west side of gallspire to to let them get over there so it could come from from that long

larger path, but it looks like there's security or some sort of other staff access there as well. Okay, and it's currently up? Correct. Is it up split in the middle, or is it like up raised on the Gulf Spire side or the opposite? It's up raised on the non-Gall Spire side. It's basically like a, it looks like a bridge they could drop, you know, at a moment's next. So if it gets crowded as the crowd is using the main bridge, exactly. The staff still has a way to access.

Got it. Correct. Okay. I relay that information as well. So, okay. We're all equally equipped. Now, here is my question, y'all. What is the next thing that happens?

Are we getting close? Well, actually, let me ask one thing of you, Beef. Beef, what are you doing after you do that? Are you staying put? Are you moving somewhere? I'm still going to push my way. I'm trying to rejoin. now that I've got stuff set up and I've scouted, I want to rejoin Amrik and Montrose in the Gulls Spire proper.

Okay. Because I think when it goes down, we all three need to be together. We got three different prisms. And I think like the three of us together just makes the most sense. I don't think I don't want to be spread out from them when it all starts. So I think I'm going to scout a little bit and then try to push my way through the crowd to the Galspire proper. Okay.

It's six. What did I say? When it starts, eight o'clock, it's $7.59. Oh. Okay. Okay. I am in. I'm making my way to the chandelier.

I think it's about time to set it off, to light this candle, to thump this melon. So you are making your way to position on the floor under the chandelier? Yes. Okay. I have attached the cables. I have attached them so that they're on either side of the conduit on either side of the middle prism. Oh, actually, now that you think about it, you did not attach the cables without rolling any dye. You actually were just about to to see how it went. Really? You're going to make me roll to attach cables? Yes. That seems like a good use for it. It's the game. Yeah. It's a tinker roll. Okay.

Let's just hope it's not a stinker roll. If you, Clint McElroy, have never almost accidentally killed yourself with electricity. I won't make you roll. I don't mind rolling. I'll try it. I should make it clear. I'm not talking about like power cables. I'm talking about like winch.

Winch cables. Right. Yeah. So I'm going to, but the only way I can imagine this working is if they are attached on both side. of the metal prism, of the, of the, of the central prism. I don't know, ma'am. It's not that one cable should do it. Like, if you're talking about the center, like, it's a beach ball size thing.

It's a gigantic prism. Right. Okay. He's going to wrap the cable around the prism in the center. Okay. Somehow, somehow you have fixed it. I will great. Well, I'm a genius.

Yeah, it's magnetic. How about that? Let's say it's magnetic. Great. Well, I don't think magnet. simple work on a prism. But okay, let's see. I need a tinker roll.

Yeah. And I'm going to push myself. Wow. Okay, to connect a cable. So connect a cable. This is important? You don't want to hear a position or anything. Okay, it's controlled standard.

You don't have to push yourself. I wouldn't push yourself on a controlled standard. You absolutely will get a do-over if it doesn't work. All right. I won't push myself. Oh, good. 4 to 5. Okay, that's fine.

That's a minute. It takes you a little bit longer than you'd hoped. Okay. It's just 659 when you finished. You thought you'd get it done by 658, but it's 6.59. And I'm sweating. I mean, seven. We've already stripped to the waist, so he's just covered in sweat.

Beef has just said what he said, and then you said what you said. And then we're back. I'm covered in sweat. I'm absolutely. Oh, gross. Gross. Okay. Are we ready?

Yeah? I just want to. I just want to say if we look sort of at the chore wheel for today's highest, one of us is assuming, I would say, a little bit more mortal risk than the other two. So just so I'm clear, Montrose is still connected to the zipline? Yeah. I was asking Griffin. Oh, well, yeah, actually, it's up to you, but I mean, he, as far as far as the Ferry Shack, Zipline? Yes, you have not mentioned disconnecting, but you. If this tower disappears, what happens to the zip line? fucking such a good question,

Griff? There is there is the thinnest sort of architectural structural supports that would be revealed where you know

that would have been used for like initial construction or repairs or whatever but you will not just like it would not blink out of existence and you would plummet to your doom there will be some sort of like structural reinforcement.

Not a lot. Not a lot. But that makes complete sense because they're hooking a person up to it, right? So if there was, as they've described, a sinking issue, right? You wouldn't want to be like, yeah, we're watching the fireworks go.

And then Infinite Jesse just kind of plummeted. Yeah, exactly. It's a security measure. So like a tower, like a tower of scaffolding kind of thing. Not, yeah, dad, that, I would, sort of like not even that much, right? Right. It's just like a base, a base skeleton.

But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Scaffolding is a fine way of thinking about it. James James do you read me? Yeah, man, what's going on? We're ready, bro. So it's time to do your magic, robot wizard. All right.

Aber could watch this shit. James. Does whatever you told him to, Trave. Dream it to now! With the hearts of the wish that the dream is in your heart of the dream. Dream it to now. The hopes and the fears of all of the years. As the music plays, what you're seeing is fireworks blasting, not straight up into the sky,

but rather, he's, like, surgically pinpointing it between, like, through windows and the thing. But he's also buzzing the crowd with, like, fireworks that are in the shape of dragons, uh, like, uh, like, Gerald Frimpin. And it's, like, and everybody's, like, freaking out, but, like, in a, whoa, what, huh? Right? And there's a lot going on. But it's also like the most fireworks that have been fired off during a show. And I'm going to say like if there's a sink issue caused by fireworks,

we're getting a double dose of fireworks. While the fucking, while these things are exploding, these fireworks are exploding, you're seeing Montrose from your position. You're feeling the floor ripple under your fucking feet. Like as these are coming almost as imagine if you were, It's been standing on water and a dinosaur had clumped near the water. The ripple that you would feel is now happening to the light that makes the floor underneath you with every one of these explosive fireworks. And one of the big showpieces that James had was an incredible giant, what appears to be, some sort of jellyfish sweeping through.

and when this jellyfish passes through the tower, the tower disintegrates around you. You are for a terrifying instant Montrose falling, but the gravity of your zip line that you had connected has wrapped around the scaffolding, and you are at the last minute suspended in the midair next to this cabling that you have in your hand. Oh, it's not in my hand.

It's, I would say as the tower disappears, the duffel bag falls away, revealing that the cables are indeed attached to a winch, sort of attached to my fairy harness here. But as the bag falls away, the fireworks gleam off of the shiny chrome. plating on the gigantic bazooka I'm holding in my eyes. Okay. All right. When the tower

falls away, what happens to Emmerich? That's a great question, Trave. The tower disappears. What does Emrik do? Well, for one thing, he uses his device to extend the sink

duration to as long as possible. Okay. So it doesn't just flicker. It's out. It's gone. It's out. Okay.

The moment that you do that, I think you start to feel the, the chill of the temperature dropping around you. I should also mention Emmerich that you are. Yeah, okay. I'm going to give you, I'll say the chandelier was also like this is part of the structural framework. But you are now. balancing on an eye beam that's about six inches wide. Okay, I got you, Emric. I bet.

I know you do, my friend. And he does a swan dive off the chandelier towards B. Holy fucking shit, really? Okay. Man, there's way easier ways to drop to be caught, but let's do this. Okay, beef, uh, he's falling. He's falling towards here. Catch me, catch me, catch me.

He's falling towards you. Okay. I assume finessell. Uh, yeah, let's call it a finesse roll What's my position here, Justin? Uh, well, but it's desperate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, but it's a standard effect.

You could definitely catch him. Okay. All right. But you ain't gonna get another shot at it. No, this is about his, yeah, I'm gonna push desperate. I'm gonna push myself. And I am giving you with my, uh, my foresight. Is that your first of two bonus guys?

It's my first of two where I'm, I can assist a teammate without paying stress. I have to tell you how I prepared for this. I prepared for this by showing you old home movies of me at a pool, diving so you know exactly what my form is. I love this. I love this. Beef had a weird day, didn't he?

Beef had a weird day. Made a best friend and learned a lot about Emmix Pass that I'll reveal later. Okay, two bonus dice to catch my dad. That's a critical. A six, a four, a six and a two. I catch him and it fixes his elbow. You know what, Traff, I actually love that. You catch him in a weird way that knocks his elbow back in a place.

Oh, oh, oh my. Oh, beef, you're a genius. I got you, buddy. Oh, and you caught me even though I'm bathed in sweat. Ugh, God. Yep. You and me both, buddy. Now, we need to run.

I have a bad leg. You're going to have to carry me. Oh, boy. I should have fixed that too. Damn it. Hey, there, beautiful people. I am your favorite author, Treyvale Anderson of We See Each Other,

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And thank you again for a great Max Fun Drive. You see, okay, as you look around, things are still moving very quickly, but as you look around, here's what you all see. You see, first of all, Montrose dangling from the scaffolding roughly 180 feet above you. You see a bunch of people sitting at tables that were enjoying a delicious meal that are looking around, now extremely confused over

in Deer Frestenhausen. There was luckily nobody was in the upper levels of the castle because everyone was... Well, you should have but luckily no one was because no one would have missed the show. So everybody was out. There was no

collateral damage on that end. The people who were performing for Deer Feston hausen the band has tumbled to the floor but it was only a few inches. The stage is not that prominent. So you're fine here.

And then you look at that alcove that was closed off. And what you see is a larger conduit that was, basically they were using that part of the castle to hide the power, the amount of power they needed to pump into those three prisms to keep this going. And then you see the prisms themselves hanging, dangling in the same way that Montrose is, except they're about 30 feet above you. They're where that chandelier was. All right

Are people So people are looking up People are looking up But they're looking still at the fireworks This is all happened like simultaneously They're watching the fireworks They haven't noticed this yet They're extremely bright and wild

I also think that like Almost instantly Someone has another member The Debarge family has come over And they've started investigating James As to this As to what's going on I was about to do a clock, but I don't think we quite need a clock.

But it is, you know, you're going to have a couple of beats before this distraction stops. Well, this is perfect. I aim my bazooka down, downward, toward the, what I can only describe as the connective tissue between, I guess, the three prisms, the three chandeliers, the three ballrooms or whatever, where they, are floating. What are you trying to achieve? Let's start there. I tug on the cable that's going down and toward the prism. Just make sure that that's still taught and connected or else the rest of this stuff isn't going to matter.

And I aim my bazook at the big conduit. While Montrose is doing this, just I'm going to say, as we're running, we're going to run through like Dorfistinhausen. yelling like, the whole thing's about to come down. It's, oh, we got to get out of here. Very noble. Good work. Good work. Travis, or rather, let's resolve this real quick, because this would have been in the seconds before he fired. Beef, let me get a command roll from you. You got it, bud. You got it.

Commanding beef. What's the position? Desperian? It's risky, because you could keep yelling. And the effect? I mean, they see that something's fucked up. I say it's standard. Okay, great. That's two and a three, baby.

I'm gonna yell again louder. Get the fuck out. I said it was risky, though, Trave. You said I could keep yelling. Yeah, yeah, it should have actually been controlled because I think I misspoke. I said. Yes, okay, yell again.

Yell again, now it's risky, though. You fuck it up again, you're done. I said, get out. Risky. Six and a six. Oh my God. Holy shit. This is Andre the giant.

Everybody move. Okay, these motherfuckers. Do you want a peanut? These other fuckers flee. They flee. They are gone. They're jumping into the moat. They are out of here.

And you know what? with the, here's what I'm going to do. With a six, with a double, with a critical, the people that ran past you out to the, the middle, they are screaming and causing such a commotion that now people are watching them as well. This is like another distraction that you have now inbuilt here, and it is a fucking mess. And, and Trav, okay, because of this, the double six, the charge of people across the bridge, has now cut off the security that was charging across the bridge. They're now having to run around the moat to access that rear pass.

Excellent. Wow, that came through clutch right when you needed it. Holy shit. Now, Griffin, up to Montrose. Very precarious. Yeah, maybe even a little reckless. I aim. That's you.

though now, right? That's me, C.T. I aim my trusty bazooka. At the... It's never let you down before. This is from... This is, I'm assuming this is from... Yeah, flashback to Day Blistas.

You know what? I think a bazooka will do it. All right. I got one in stock. Great. Maybe also a pretty powerful winch. I like a personal winch system. Yeah, you seem like an okay guy.

Okay. A good guy winch. I love that. I point it. at the big conduit and I say. So this is the power conduit going up through the East Alcove that was hidden. The big power conduit that's connecting,

that's powering all three of these. My hope is if I blow this thing up, I can just sort of rip them up like so many ticks. I don't know why that's where I went. You ripping up a lot of ticks in your life, Griffin? I look at the thing I aim it. And I say, sorry about this, combine. And I fire.

Is he gonna have to roll for this? Fuck yeah, he is. Okay. I want to say finesse, probably, right? Aiming a bazooka at the perfect spot? I would love for that to be true. Yeah. Give me wrong.

I would love for that to be true. All right, I'm gonna use my second. Wait, wait, Griffin, is there a rest of that thought, or would you just love for that to be true? I would absolutely love for that to be true, but that is, there is, I'm pretty sure this is Hunt. hunt a target gather information about its location movements attack with precision shooting from a distance well that's textbook isn't it go ahead there there's yeah there's yeah hold roll bud i'm going

wait wait wait wait wait wait i'm using foresight the rest of my foresight okay tell me how you help griffin with bazooka uh i have montrose and emiric are back in montrose's workshop and he holds up schematics for different powering systems for prisms. They don't know exactly because they've never seen the powering system. But he's just showing him some examples. Okay. Let's stay in that flashback.

So you're saying when I aim the bazooka at the big machine. If you have a bazooka. I'll have a bazooka. You're saying to aim it at the big machine and make it blow up. This spot right here on the machine. Yes. Yes. When I aim the bazooka at it, you want me to hit this one very specific fly.

Well, I mean, you have a lot of discrepancy, a lot of room for error. Sure, sure. But if you're hitting this general area here. All righty. There's less shielding here. Yeah. Griffin, I don't want to freak you out, but this is probably the most consequential role that you guys have done in 24 episodes. We're going to do this.

It's got to be desperate, yes? Oh, yeah, man. Okay, good. And it is desperate. And can I say, great effect. Great. The effect will be great. Yeah, man.

Okay, so that's one bonus dice from Emmerich. I'm going to push myself to take it to two. With Daredevil, when you roll a desperate action, you get plus 1D to your roll. If you take minus 1D to any resistance rolls against consequences from your action. Okay. That's three bonus dice. Now, how many dice did you have an hunt to begin with? One.

Okay. So this takes you up to four. But this seems like one we don't want mixed success on necessary. I'm trying to think how I could help. I think only one person can help on a roll out of time. All right. Come on Griffin. Come on Griffin.

Come on Griffin. Oh my God. Holy fucking shit. Three, two, four, one. What? No. No, no, no. It's a straight one, two, three, four.

Tell me that you blow me up more. Oh, I guess that's... I was trying to figure out a way that we could get six dice. And if we had, I have to assume we would have reached it. I think one more dice would have definitely gotten me there. Well, you know, I did the cool thing against the dragon. This really felt like shooting the bazooka indoors, if I'm being honest. Well, God, dang, it was going really, really...

It was going really... It was going so well. I'm really... Trubbed me used up all the sixes. Trabb used up all the sixes. I'm glad I got everybody out. Yeah, everybody's out. Here's what happens, Griffin.

Okay. But it is a four. There is a four in there, Griffin. And that four is going to save your bacon to a certain extent. You fire off the bazooka, and a huge column of flame rips out behind where you fire this fantasy bazooka. And the, you see the shell. It was dragon's breath. You see the shell travel through space.

Down, down, down. Yes. Striking the conduit perfectly. Hell yes. Exactly where you meant to. The conduit snaps, and you can immediately feel all three of these spheres start to be pulled up by the force of the winch that you attached. But at that exact moment, when the flames erupt and this conduit snaps, the heat from the bazooka also melts. the structural supports on the east side.

And that is when you notice that the entirety of Gaulspire, you included, is starting to fall over. What do you do? Have I reeled up? Remember everything we've talked about. Think for a second. Take a second. Think of the best thing you can. Remember all your assets, everything that we've done.

Save yourself however you want. but make it, make it something like that, that feels fun and good to you. I, have I secured the, the payload in any, to any degree?

Have you secured the payload? Of those, of the prisms? Um, you, yeah, I mean, like,

that worked. That's what you were trying to do, and that worked. Those three prisms are now being raised up. towards the center of Galspire. They're going up. I... Am I dangling right now?

Yeah, you are. You're dangling and you have... You're dangling from a leaning tower, okay? And you have, in your possession, three prisms that have been zipped up from below. Three pretty heavy prisms are now in your possession, and you're on a tower that is beginning to fall.

Not quickly. You've got time, but like you need to come up with something now. I... Or somebody, anybody... I reach up with my free hand and I say, there is no... God damn way this is going to work. And I press a button on my harness deploying a white balloon.

That starts to float upward. it into this guy. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Is it supposed to lift you? No.

No? It's meant to be retrieved. Okay. You know what? You don't even have to roll for it. You press the button and the balloon flies up into the air and is just sort of like sitting up there, maybe call it like two stories above you, just sort of floating, and I believe it's

blinking. Yeah. Yeah, it's blinking, Justin. Then what happens, Griffin? I did my part. The balloon is up. The balloon is up in the sky. Yeah?

I assume it's a signal. It's a signal. Who receives it, Justin? Oh, fuck. Okay, fine. Let me do a fortune roll. It's a three. Okay, well, with a three, Griffin,

with a three, you feel a tug on the line that you are on. And then you see hurtling down that line towards you, Deep Dark. No, Deep Dark, no. He's grappling. No, Deep Dark, no. I'm coming. Don't worry. No, no, Deep Dark, you're supposed to pull me up.

Don't worry, I'm coming. Deep Doc, you're supposed to pull me up now. You're going the wrong direction, Deep Dark. It's supposed to go up. Don't worry. Deep Dark, get back in the ship, Deep Dark. No, no, no, I'm coming. Deep Dark didn't have a ship.

With a three, Deep Dark was just going to grab it. But he is zipping down towards you. Deep Dark has just grabbed you by the waist. Deep Dark, that was the whole... When you said Skyhook and you set that whole... You loaded that rifle, that Chekhov's gun. And you put it there and then you used it to eat. I never had a plane.

I said I wanted to try it. God. I was very clear. Deep dark. I'm boned. We're boned. Hold on. Hold on.

Sorry. No. Wait, go ahead. You have something else you want to try it? Yeah, I take off the skyhook. That was stupid and I told you it was stupid. Okay, so you take off the sky. He saw your signal and he came to help.

He's here with you. Your asset. I say, hold on. to help. Yes, you're helping me a great deal. Hold on to my body. Very, very tight. Okay. I'm going to grab the, the, Jesus Christ, I'll grab the zip line that I'm on now. Yeah. And kind of wrap my arm up in one of the things. And then, um, boy, my bag's got a lot of stuff in it, doesn't it? Uh, what do you mean? You know, I pull one last thing out of the duffel bag. Okay.

I pull out I mean we actually flash Can I do a flashback? Yes, of course you can Okay We're all at the gift shop In Ephemera

Well they're magnets Yes Boys They have one of those things You squint and you look through With your eye And it's a whole picture Inside of it

Cool Listen it's daddy's treat Anything you want today Anything as much of it As you want Go ham SuperMarch pocket sweep this thing.

Two magnets? We walk up to the register with just baskets of merch and I say, we'll be taking all of this and you can put it on my card.

And I set down Hank Hart's credit card that we stole. Okay. And then flashback to the present, I pull out the sort of ages that I have pulled from the stone for spending the most money.

at aphemer at this day. Oh shit, yes! And cut the cable behind me to swing down toward the fairy shack. Holy shit. Fuck. So, Griff, what you've not calculated on is the fairy shack is to make the zipline

work above you. Yeah, yeah, no. So you're not hurtling towards a fairy shack. You're hurtling towards a wall. But there is a group of people that still to this day will swear that one night they saw on the night the castle disappeared.

They saw an infinite Jesse the Spectre fairy flying with some sort of man in a disheveled rags meant to approach a costume soaring above their heads. And as he flew, they still swear to this. He was dropping merchandise on them left and right, just dropping stickers and free buttons and all of it. As he swung over their heads through the night flying up and up and up and then swinging back and back. back. And then up again. All right, Emmerich and Beef, you're watching this spectacle. This spectacle as the tower continues to collapse.

What do you do? I want those magnets. Do you think that this is going how he expected? Yeah, this went exactly the plan. Okay. Well, we need to go. Okay, yeah. Okay, how far have we made it, Jamie?

if we're running towards They're, let's say this, they're swinging, I'm looking at a map here, they are swinging above you right around the bridge. So they're swinging back and forth right around the bridge area. Oh, can we try and drop into the moat?

Yeah, you could try, yeah. Yeah, you could try, you just have to disconnect. Yeah. I mean, that seems like safer than swinging into a wall or a crowd of people. Okay, you're going to have to give me a finesse roll. Okay. It is desperate.

Yeah. And it is standard. I'm going to push myself and do my daredevil ability. Please. Oh my God. Holy fucking shit, Griff. Holy shit. This is a 214-14.

A classic 214-14-situation. How did you do five? At least one of them should have been a five if I rolled five dice. So this is a... That's statistics. that, Einstein. I don't get it. Okay. Well, okay. You know. Okay. You know what? Here's what happens. Do you think all the great, the jazz greats hit every note right, the right every time? No, that defeats the entire point of jazz. You guys are going to fish my dead ass body tethered to the prize out of the water, I hope. Okay, Griff, I'm going to give you a choice.

Yeah. You, the wire disconnects, you disconnect yourself and you are falling. You realize that because of the added weight of deep dark, you maybe miscalculated your fall a little bit. You're turning through the air. You realize that you're going to hit the side of the wall right near the edge of the moat. You are going to fall on your leg or you could turn your body and, and fall on one of the prisms. Can I have a third option where I fall on Deep Dark?

No, sir. Yes, but you would kill him instantly. We always knew it would come to this, Deepta. Sensei. No, you know what? I'll take it on the leg, because I bet you I can just brush this off. I don't have enough stress to try to resist it, and I will have minus one dice to the roll.

You know what? The leg's looking great right now. All right. Can I pipe in? Yeah, please. If he lands on the prism, will he be harmed or will just destroy the prism? There's no point.

I'm not just, after what has happened today, I'm not destroying the prism. But just remember, we have two out of three if you do destroy one. Two out of three is bad. In this case. But we don't recover. This is my leg.

All right. Okay, you take a level two harm. Your leg is shattered. Yeah, bad. Bad. It's really bad. Please mark that on your sheet. And you are in the moat, though.

You are currently just sort of deep dark is actually pulling you to the side. Great. Yeah. Get me the fuck out of here, deep dark. I listen I've got you this one time and he starts climbing out of the moat with you on his uh on his back

great um I'm so I'm making my way to where they are about to like reach the side we I want to regroup you know yeah please please yeah run rush to the edge um Rush the edge where you're at.

I have this image of Emric up on beef shoulders and montrose up on deep dark shoulders like they're chicken fighting. Not with my shattered leg. Well, he's got to carry you. Listen, you guys have to find a way to get out of here. Where are you? Where are you going? I'm going to go to work. And then Deep Dark reaches his.

into his bag and pulls out a mask that he pulls down over his face. I think everybody's going to want to hear from Shrug. The whole time. The whole time. The whole time. He's gone. I apologize, boys. You told me the Skyhook was not going to work.

You said that technology could not and does not exist. And you are 100% right. I really wanted it too, though, if I'm being honest. I know I said it wouldn't. I wanted it to, too, too. What? Where? It's still me.

Oh, okay. I don't know. Wait, wait. Deep Dark, I would assume that you have a lot of room inside that costume? Uh, yeah. I mean, yeah. Can you put our three big balls in? Oh, go, you said.

I bet you could put three balls. We could put three balls in there with you, Shrook. I'll give you a suite. You'll give me a sweet. I don't have one, but one of these guys does. I do. I have a suite. If you will put these.

Where do you want me to take it? Over that manhole cover? Do a sway roll on him, Griff. I can't let you have it for free, but it's a really good idea. What's a position? Controlled standard. Dad, did you want to take this roll? Yeah, I think I should do it.

Yeah. Okay. I'm probably... Look at him. I do anything for him. You, I don't know. Well, I am a huge fan and of Shrug.

So I guess in a way... Thank you. I appreciate you. I'm a big fan of you. Oh, it's nice to meet the fan. If you would do this for us, I know you're crazy about Montrose, but this would... My leg hurts a lot if we could hurry. His leg hurts.

Okay. So Swayroll. Yeah. I am going to Is it risky? No, it's standard. Yeah, yeah, it's risky. It is risky because he doesn't know you. Risky standard.

So I'm not desperate. Standard. And I'm going to push myself. I have plenty of stress to spare. And I'll help. I'll assist. Take one more. Okay.

There we go. 1665. There we go, baby. You are a. great hero and this would really save our buttocks. And I'm very sweaty. I may not be the hero that you deserve. But I am shug.

And he takes the, he takes the three, three balls and stuffs him into his big shrieg belly. His big beautiful shrig belly. And I, guys, here's the wild thing. And you didn't expect this. But once he puts all three of them in there, he looks pretty of him in there, he looks pregnant. And there's like four people who look at him and they're like, yes.

He's like, I'm going to walk the other way. Some people love pregnant Shroog. I tried to keep him out of distance. Put the balls in the whole, Pregnant Shroog. You got it. I got to escape these pregnant Shrooog fanboys

though. You're safe with me. Can I take You guys, I just looked up pregnant Shroo. Oh, no, Dad, no, Dad, you've ruined it. You've ruined yourself. You've ruined it. It is at that, the moment that pregnant Shroog stumbles into the night, into the chaos that you start to see security swarming through the area.

But guys, I've gone through it in my head several times, and I can't feel. figure out how the fuck they would have any idea that you guys were involved. I mean, I really, I don't, I don't think, I have no reason to think that you have not gotten away with this fucking scot-free. So against all reason, against all logic, you, you've won. Yay! Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture.

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