The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Steeplechase - Episode 26

Episode Date: May 18, 2023

The arcade employees interrogate their colleagues and co-workers to try and crack the case, only to discover another familiar face running the show. Emerich whittles around. Montrose goes on record. Beef combs the scene. Opening monologue performed by Autumn Seavey Hicks: https://www.instagram.com/autumnseaveyhicks/?hl=en Additional music in this episode: "Charting My Course" by Kirk Osamayao: kirkosamayo.com; “Web Crawler Bass” by deadrobotmusic: https://deadrobotmusic.com/; "Back in the 80s" by Holizna: https://holiznaroyaltyfree.bandcamp.com/; and “Something (Bonus Track)” by Kai Engel http://www.kai-engel.com/. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Well, Steepies, the Dentonic Creationeering Wizards have done it again! After just a couple of days of retooling, the new Hardlight Gull Spire is back in ephemera. Some of you have noticed some subtle changes in the recreated castle since its abrupt disappearance. Windows that are out of scale, doors that scrape the ground when they open, and overall just a lot of... Static? But we are sure that the kinks will be worked out soon if we know Dantonic. Oh, small note, meet and greets with sticky fingers Paul pantry were cancelled last minute this morning. A dentonic spokesperson said, a few too many treats left Paul with a tummy ache.

Isn't that so cute? We're told Paul will be back taking photos and signing autograph books by tomorrow afternoon. But if you're hoping to shake those sticky fingers before then, we hope you never know when to stop dreaming. Yes, but I'd assumed it was... To legend, I never would have expected. I guess my understanding is not. But I thought it was terrifying in a way, but also quite wonderful. Hello, everybody, and welcome to the Adventure Zone.

Steeplechase, episode, I don't know, 26. Yeah, that feels right. Something like that. My lucky number, 26. Sure. Is it? Classic. How did you determine that, Dad?

It's Dad's softball. I took 13 times two and figured the two. and figured that two bad luck would make a good luck and besides it was my softball number. Yeah, was it your lucky number before was your softball number? Mm.

Mm. Oh. Um, none of this is Jermaine. I would like to... It's all Tito. Oh, my God. Can I be Marlon?

Okay. 69 is my luck is my lucky number. This is, these have always brought me luck. My luck. My lucky number is the U.S. of A, the Sam Kinnison of D&D here, Griffin is kind of the bad boy of D&D, I've always said. Sure. Fuck you. Yeah.

Sam Kinnison died in 92? That can't be right. Yeah, that feels right to me, actually. I remember being five and being pretty torn up by it. Okay. So I have a question to start off with. Oh, you charged a day. head. You knew that I was starting and you were starting, but you were like priority right here.

Well, mine is more a vibe question than like an action question. Okay, good. A vibe check. Yeah. I wanted to do a vibe check because like I watch a lot of like, you know, procedures and stuff. Is the vibe of what we're seeing of like gravel in custody. Is this like a wheels are in motion, things are moving very quickly? Or is this like a, All right, we've got the scene on lockdown, and now it's like time to take witness statements and no one's going anywhere for a while. The scene is being, let's say, the vibe in the, where did we leave off? Where were we physically? We were at the whittle at the whittle.

Right, there was a company meeting at Whittle. Whittle around. Whittle around. The vibe there is a little freaked out, pretty freaked out, very freaked out. very freaked out because this this doesn't happen right this doesn't happen but the vibe from the dintonic end is not business as usual but definitely wanting to exude um confidence i just want i just want to point out this is the second slaying that has taken place at the prize pantry this campaign so i would push back against there not being a precedent for this for this technically

technically dad's murderer, technically didn't die till later. Okay. He died in a hospital. And he was surrounded by loved ones. He was the member of the buttercream and like the underbri. Right. He was not in the cast. Yeah, this is sticky fingers ball pantry. Yeah, this is an icon.

That is the deal. And it seems to be moving with a, like, you, you see gravel is not putting up an argument. Gravel's not fighting. gravel I see it has a sort of consigned to her fate is that the word consigned

yeah resign yeah resigned to her fate thank you and that and that's the that's the vibe in the meeting but you have just been told this information you're in the meeting

I'm going to start there if you don't want to be in the meeting anymore just say but that is where we ended and that is where we shall start this is a very this is a very open-ended thing and you are going to have to figure some stuff out. Sure.

I don't even mean like a mystery, really, but you are going to have to get a better grip of the situation before you can move forward in any meaningful way. So I'm here to facilitate that. I step forward towards the security guards that are holding gravel by the shoulders. Okay.

And I say, Please step back, sir. My apologies, I am going to have to... Sure, please step back. I, I, this is my client and I have, he grabs you by the back of the neck and shoves you to the ground. Whoa, okay. This is, uh, my rights are being infringed upon here. I am getting, my rights are being stepped upon as are the rights. Guys, guys, guys, it's fine.

Guys, it's fine. And, uh, Kenshal comes over and helps you up, uh, Montrose. Listen, I understand, um, tensions are running really high right now. we're all very sad about what happened with Paul. But again, everybody, we have this situation under control. If everybody could just kind of stick together, go about your business, and understand that this is a one-off. All right, this is not the way we do things here.

I know that management lately has started to let things get a little bit loose. And I am, here's what I can say. I'm working on it. But I got to ask for all of your patience. I got a question here. What was the motivation here, the motive behind this? Is this something the rest of us are going to have to worry about? Like, are we going to have to start locking our doors and used to Ben?

Again, we're not drilling down that deep into this right now, everybody. We're still figuring this out, too. And I don't want to put out a false statement, a false narrative that's just going to muddy. the waters. So, and then again, you know, the show is the show. What, never know when to stop dreaming, I think that that, that Carmine, you know, would have wanted us to keep moving forward and keep creating the same brand of magic that our, uh, our guests have come to expect. So, um, thank you everybody for your, for your time and your, and your consideration. And, uh, let's, let's have fun out there.

Um, good. is going to say this loud enough for the rest of like they used to be crowd to hear and say yeah I guess what I'm worried about is without answers and without specifics there's just so much room to start speculating as to why I mean it could have been any one of us it could have been any like location for any reason any one of us could be next I mean how can we focus when around every corner over our shoulders right there could be somebody like see and like sneaking up on us let me let me stop you there okay I know that this is really this can be frightening.

This is, again, this person, not exactly sure how she had entry into the park. We are looking into that to figure out how she was in steeplechase in the first place. But it is something that we are working on. But again, this is a one-off. She did not seem to be working with anybody else that I can tell. and with her in custody, I think everybody can just go back about their business. Thank you all so much for taking the time to come by.

I really, really appreciate it. And let's get back out there. Beef doesn't move. That's fine. Some of the, you know, it's not an instant stand up and walk out. It is, you know, people are starting to file out. Kenshal, I think, is talking to some of his subordinates who are already starting to shepherd gravel out of the room.

Emric is going to move over to one of the rocking chairs where Eustace Chabone is sitting, the old grandpa, hard light. Eustace was your, unless I miss my guess, I think Eustace was your guy at the the prize pantry, correct? Yeah, Eustace works at the prize pantry going back and forth into the back, remember? Okay. I mean, you can still sit next to whoever the old dude is. Yeah, there's definitely going to be an old dude Whitland here.

Yeah, there's some old dudes Whitland. It's just not Eustis is a character that you made up who lives at prize pantry. Right. A hard lie he created. Yeah. I think he's going to sit down in one of the rocking chairs and try to speak. to one of the other, one of the old Ming whittling. Oh, that's fantastic news, Dad.

Well, hello, little partner. And you're looking to get a bit of whittling in? Yes, oh, yes. But what I'd like to whittle away at is the truth. Okay, well, wait, I meant to take off sunglasses at that point. Yeah, wait, try saying it again, Dadden. Okay, what I'd like to wiggle away. And then give me a beat afterwards.

Yeah. Okay. What I'd like to whittle away at is the truth. Buh, bum. Yo! Well? Either one works. We'll just fix. We've got... We've got walnut and basswood up there at the front. You just have to pay your seven.

Oh, bag. I'm going to use a tune. I'd like to roll a tune. Okay. to see if I can get this hard light to tell me if they saw anything regarding the recent slaying that occurred. Sure. Yeah. Go for it. Okay. So a tune. I would say this is controlled. And I would say it's standard, wouldn't you?

Yep. And that would be four, five, three. It's a 12 total. So it makes success. Okay, he starts to cut back on the character a bit as the Satoon takes place. He seems to dial in a little bit more to who you are and what is happening. Yeah, I didn't see anything. It happened over at Prize Palace, was what he was saying.

We don't roam. So, no, I wasn't even up yet. Mammy and I slept in. Who? My wife. Your grandma. Mamie? Mamie.

Oh. Oh. How is she? No, I'm sorry. I'm getting distracted. So, um, you hadn't heard anything. Did you actually, did you actually, um, see the, the person that they arrested that they took away? Oh, the, the woman there, yeah, she, uh, that was.

That was interesting. She seemed to maybe not be as upset as you might imagine. Did you notice if she had any weapons on her? Do they seize any weapons, like knives? She usually, from what I understand, she usually carried a lot of bladed weapons. Sure, yeah. I mean, not that I could see, certainly. Yeah, not that I noticed.

See, she didn't seem to be armed, honestly pretty wild, I guess, to see somebody in custody, still with a bunch of knives. Well, I, I appreciate you. Thank you so. And your name, oh. Hold on, one sec. Mm. Pting. Yeah, right in the spittoon.

That, that was excellent. Oh, thanks. And your, and your name is? Grampy. Grampy. Grampy and Mamie. Yeah, you can call me Grampy Gramps. Grampy Gramp.

That's his DJ name. DJ Grampy Gramps. Well, thank you. And if you think of anything else, that will be a miracle. Real quick, guys. Do you guys know Idriselba's DJ name? No. No.

What? Hey, guys, Idriselba's been a DJ for a very long time. And his DJ name is DJ Big Drs. Good. Hell of fucking. Good, right? Wow. Things are better now, right?

Nature is healing. Things are better now that you know that he's a DJ who goes by DJ Big Driss. I can finish the show now. Yes. I want to make my way. What's Kendall doing currently as everything is dispersing? He is talking to one of his subordinates with sort of half attention while he is swiping through a pat on his, in his hand.

Um, it's probably a phone. Let's call it a phone. It's not a phone, but you, yeah, I get it. You get it. Mr. Denton, I'm so sorry to bother you, if I may. May I speak to you for a moment? You were, uh, beef. Oh, beef. Of course. Yes. Sorry. Didn't recognize you beef. Um, let's, uh, you know, you can just run up whatever you're thinking to your, your manager. Obviously, I got a lot, a lot cooking today. Um, so if we could, you know, circle back with. manager, if there's anything that needs to be kicked up, you know, to my level, it will, it will eventually get there for, for sure. Well, I'm sure you understand. Our, our, uh, manager is technically Poppy. And I think you understand with, we don't want to go through him.

Yeah. Well, I mean, whoever Poppy rolls up to. Yeah. You know what? We actually have a form, uh, you know, for, for different folks in the cast, if they want to run up ideas or, you know, you have complaints. workplace safety, whatever it is. There's a form on the website you can go fill out.

Yeah, no, I think it's pretty important that I talk to you. I know. I'm sure it feels that way, right? Especially with tempers running as high as they are and tensions and everything. But hang in there, pal. And he kind of pats you on the shoulder and starts to make his way out. So if you want to talk to him, especially here and now, It's not going to be something that you,

it doesn't seem like something you'll be able to just sort of, you know, rope him into. But that's, that's the vibe that you're getting. Okay. It doesn't seem like something you'll just be able to do. So does that make sense? Yeah, before he walks away, um,

yeah, it's just, uh, I don't know, it's just, we have a lot of, uh, notoriety here. We have a lot of people within to look to us for leadership. And I actually recognize, her and we were friends with Paul and I just feel like we'd have a lot to discuss and contribute. But you're right. We should head back to Poppy's Place. I just really think if you change your

mind, that's where we'll be. And I think we could really help and offer any importance. But yeah, you're right. We should head back to Poppy's Place. Never mind. Okay. Great. Say, thank you. I want to try to make eye contact with him and see if I can read his reaction to that. Um, he's, he seems to be thinking. He seems to be thinking things through. Okay, so it reg. He got, he got what you were laying down. Okay, great.

Um, seem to. Have they taken gravel away? They are put, they are heading that way. There's a back door in whittle about, uh, or whittle around, um, that they seem to be Widdle underneath. Whittle all about. Uh, it seems to be, uh, that they are pushing her out the door. I want to run that way

And just shout Gravel, gravel! She doesn't turn around, I don't think. I run right up even closer. Oh yeah, that was the problem. Because I hadn't imagined you being close enough, but now that I can imagine you closer, she, no, she's not, she's ignoring you intentionally.

Gravel, we got one shot here. Look at me. The security guard now pushes you away. Montrose. It's the same guy that was a little bit rough with you earlier, and he looks like he would love to get rough with you again. I'd like to see him. I'd like to see him fucking try. I'd like to see him try so that my big brother can come and stop him.

Yeah. Yeah, I see if you can see that. Beef. Okay, then I'm going to step over. Is there a problem here? What's happening? What's going on? I'm Beef Punchly.

You might recognize me for my mostly successful arm wrestling career. What's your name, son? Talking to the security guards. Trab, give me, tell you what, Trav, there's, are you addressing this to the one that was rough? Are you addressing this to like one of his compatriots? The one who was rough. Okay. Tell you what, give me a...

We're kind of dealing with fortune, but give me a sway roll to see if he is won over by your charms and all. Now, to be fair, what I was going for is I'm trying to take command of the situation. Okay, that's fair. Yeah, go ahead. I'll grant that. What's the position here? I would say that it is risky and the difficulty is... great.

Sorry, your effect would be limited, rather. I don't know my difficulty. Your effect would be limited. Okay. Oh, my God, dress. Wow. Listen, there's not a critical fail in this game, but if there was, I rolled a one and a one. The snake eyes may be.

Wow. Okay. Give me one hot second here. Are you looking to make sure there's not a critical fail? Well, I can't just take my word for it. Okay, this is actually thematically wonderful. I mean, like, the story-wise, it works great. I'm trying to think if he would hurt you.

I laid a hand on him to get his attention. Okay. When you regret, you put an arm on him, and the way he and speed with which he removes that hand, actually he pulls a tendon in your shoulder for a level one harm but it is very

but you it's so fast and discreet that you don't need like he no one would even register except for your Yelp of pain it's it's not clear exactly what happened here

just that you probably shouldn't touch this guy everyone else has by the way when that happened everyone who was a cast member has made their way out. Like they were already filtering out,

but now it's like, whoop, boop, go. Let's go, let's go, let's go. Have I at least, with this kerfuffle garnered gravel's attention? I tell you what, just because it's more fun this way, the Yelp of Pain that Beef emitted

pulled everyone's attention in your all's direction, Okay, I try to just lock eyes with Gravel. And in my most serious voice, I just say, Gravel, did you kill Paul Pantry? That's what they say, you did. Yes or no? And they pull her away.

Oh, God damn it. Okay, cool. Guys, we've had, we brought in, like, a lot of help on this. I can understand, this is Kenchel. I can understand this is jarring. We did bring in, you know, experts. This is not something we're taking lightly, especially something like this, one of our castmate, you know,

our family, the Dentonic family. But trust me when I say that you are safe, there's never been a better time to work here, especially the future is looking really good for Dentonic. And I thank you all for this. Okay, so I'm going to need to go beat by beat here. Because maybe I can accomplish with what he just said, with what I was trying to do with gravel. Just sort of line by line, which of the things he just said was lies?

I guess starting with, did he bring it, did they actually bring in experts? Yes. Okay. Is it a good time to work for Gentonic Industries? Depends on who you are. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So there is no. Okay. I'm trying to, I guess, check if there is any sort of bullshit in how Kinchel is sort of addressing this situation. Hey, if you're, if you can know when people are lying, people that are really powerful can know you know. Okay, so Kinchel's being pretty careful about his word choice with you. Okay. All right. Mr. Denton, you don't seem to be the kind of person that puts all of his eggs in one basket.

And seen as how we have somewhat of a reputation of getting things done, and also that we had a personal relationship with not only the accused, but the victim. Why don't you consider us investigated? Sorry. Emmerick Dredway? Oh my gosh, the creation ear, yeah. You were talking in a hushed voice, so he didn't, and nobody else quite made out what you were saying. So he moves in closer to you.

Amherick dread, while a real creation year legend here, folks, I don't know if you know he was, he was one, instrumental, really, in working. working with my family to develop a lot of the hard light tech. Thank you, Emmerich, for all of your, you know, your work and your devotion to the company. It means so much to us. Thank you so much. And he gives you like a nice pat on the shoulder and starts walking away. Hey. Thank you.

Thank you, Mr. Denton. I will continue to sally forth and make you proud of me. Did you fellas hear that? Oh. What a nice man. Okay, he's gone. Cool. And they've left with Kenshal.

And sorry, and gravel. They're gone and now you're standing in an empty whittle about, except for Grampy Gramps who looks at you and says, so did anybody want to whittle? Can we have the room, Grampy Gramps? Sure. Let me die. One second.

Whatever it takes. It seems excessive to me, but, all right. Hey, boys. Did I ever tell you that I grew up on a farm? No, but it doesn't surprise me. Yeah. And with all my experience there, I can recognize a goat when I see one, especially when it's a scapegoat.

Oh, that's very good. So that whole thing, were you actually, no, no, no, no. First of all, that's, that's done. Second of all, was that whole thing, were you actually from a farm? Yeah, no, I did grow up on a farm, but I, yeah, I, it was, a bit of a long walk to get there, but my point stands that, like, okay. Well, we need to talk more

anyway. So, yeah, we know like, listen, yeah, Gravel's a criminal. We know gravel. Would Gravel hurt somebody to get what she wants? Yes. Yes, she carries knives. She carries a crime. But this doesn't feel like that, right? Like, why would she attack

Paul Pantry? Just like, go for... And then let herself be captured and not resist in any way, shape, or form, that doesn't seem like the gravel we've had acquaintance with. Yes, none of this really affects us in any kind of significant way. Obviously, I think we're all under the suspicion that a miscarriage of justice has taken place here, but that is not our gig, so to speak.

What does concern me is that Mr. Paul Pantry had some, let's say, incriminating evidence about us and our exploits. Is it possible he had blackmail on other perhaps more stabby individuals than ourselves? Yes, that is entirely likely. I get the feeling that this something foul play is afoot. And I worry if we don't get to the bottom of it, certain truths about our enterprise, may come to light that I am not stoked about. I'm also just going to say Montrose.

I think it's a little bit short-sighted to say that this might not directly affect us. Because what we've just seen, right, is a gentleman that we have done criminal activities for trying to make a good show of himself arresting a criminal for doing something. And we know that Kenchell is hoping to move up the right. ranks and impress people and be seen as the competent one in the Denton family. Yes. Right? And speaking of scapegoats, we got three ready for slaughter right here, if ever he needs them.

So the way he handled that and like this whole like, yeah, it was her thing, doesn't make me feel super secure in our relationship with him. Well, but he had some very nice things to say about me. I thought that was... That's called flattery, Emmerich. Yes, yes. And you can do that to anyone at any... But, Beef, I love that shirt. Oh, thank you.

And did you get a haircut, Montrose? It's really, really fetching. Thank you. That's from the electric shock, remember of my hair? I was talking to Montrose. That's not you. Oh, right. Sorry.

Hey, Dad, I actually thought that moment with the Kensington you did was really well-performing. I really, I thought it was good world building and really well acted. We're still acting, Justin. That wasn't Travis speaking. No, Travis, Justin is doing the thing to dad. Oh, I see. Yeah, so the worlds are collided.

Oh, okay. Wheels within. Wheels. Levels upon levels. All right. Well, let's, I guess, go on our way into the prize pantry so we can either investigate the crime

or destroy. the video evidence of us being Nairdewels. Now, the sun was just coming up, right? This was like early dawn when this all happened. Early dawn. I think that maybe we need to hold up back at Pobby's place until the evening and maybe do that more under cover of night. Is the body still, well, wait, we have no reason to believe the body is still like there. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the body is. It's like, no, it's like, I mean, they clean puke up within the minute. Okay. So a corpse. I guess definitely. You know, I don't think that they're making, they're, you know, this is, this is, uh, as swept under the rug as things possibly could be. I mean, yeah. Let me say this. If you are, there are things you can learn. Let me say, there are things you can learn about the same. situation, but there's not a lot. You're like, do not think you're going to be able to, like, lift prints and check a splatter pattern. You know what I'm saying? Like, that, any usable, like, quote, unquote evidence, besides being, like, not particularly interesting to listen to, uh, is also, like, not, it is not something that

you all would have available to you. If it's, like, specifically related to this crime that occurred, you know what I'm saying? Like, it's not to say it's a blind alley. It's just not necessarily. So they probably would have cleared out Paul's personal effects as well at this point. Yeah, I mean, Paul's per, yeah, I mean, hmm, good question. That I don't know, Trave.

Maybe not. Maybe not that yet. Man, he would have hidden things, I would assume. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's a safe bet. I think that we lay low for a little while, right? Let things calm down. We already know how to break into this fucking place.

Exactly. Exactly. And then we go under cover of night to dig through his shit. I love it. Hey, B, remember, like, two days ago when you were like, I don't know if this is the life for me? No, I don't want to get caught and I don't want to get in trouble, which is motivating me right now in this moment. I don't want to do this. I love it. Sunk cause fallacy is the motivator of some of the greatest heists in the history of crime. So, uh, let's, let's take a breather. Trans representation and media is at an all-time high with trans entertainers gracing the screens large and small.

But trans voices, especially black trans voices, are rarely centered in our own stories. That's why we bring you a new limited series called We See Each Other the Podcast, co-hosted by me, journalists, and better half of the Max Fun Podcasts. Fantei! Treval Anderson and me, award-winning journalist and media personality, Sharj Marcel. All of it is based on my book.

We See Each Other A Black Trans Journey Through TV, and film. Now listen, folks, we're having a very different kind of conversation. It's giving kitchen table talk. We get into the discourse, honey. Tune into we see each other the podcast at maximum fun.org or wherever you get Slayworthy audio. The Legend of Zelda, Tears of the Kingdom. Diablo 4. Final Fantasy 16. Street Fighter 6. Balders Gate 3. Starfield. Spider-Man 2. Master Detective Archives Rain Code for Nintendo Switch? No? Is that just me? It's a huge time for video games.

You need somebody to tell you what's good, what's not so good, and what's amazing. I'm Jason Schreier. I'm Maddie Myers. And I'm Kirk Hamilton. We're the hosts of Triple Click, a video game podcast for anyone who likes games. Find us at maximum fun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Bye. Okay, so you guys are, so I understand, you are holding up at Poppy's Place until the evening.

So you can hopefully like poke around the prize pantry under cover of night. Is that fair? Yes. Yes. Okay. Okay. I'm not going to call this like a score or any of that sort of like typical structure. I think we're in a pretty open-ended scenario right now.

So why don't you guys just tell me what you're doing, what you want to do. And I'll try to figure out how much resistance there is to you doing it. I will say that, so the things that you would know, you being in prize pantry would not be, after hours, would not be so weird, right? Because you are employees and it's a business. It would not be so strange, but people would be curious. They would want to know what's going on. So if they saw you in prize pantry that like, it's not like a shoot on site type deal, but it would be a little odd. That's what you know, I think, before you would head over there.

On a normal day. Right. This is not that, though, since I don't know. I did say, okay. I just said on a normal day, that's how it would be. Yeah, but you kind of said it like it was in all caps and like a talus. That's the only way I know how to say that, Trave. I take offense.

That's fair. Justin, let me ask you this. Since we just kind of laid low and chilled all day, and I'm going to leave this as a GM question, I'll take your answer no matter what it is. I got two first level harms. And if I'm resting up, would that help either my shot leg or my pulled tendon, I'm just kind of laying in bed all day, you know? Yeah, I'm going to say your first one.

I want to leave that tendon pain as a reminder of your terrible double ones that you got. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. But you know what? We're playing a little bit fast to lose. I think a day of resting up. You've, you know, you sacrificed that whole day that you could have been doing something to help anybody or anything.

And so I think in exchange for that, it feels a little better. Oh, nice. Oh, well, then can I also do that? Because I still have a level one shock. Yeah, yeah, you got rid of your level one shock too. You thought long and hard about whether or not you wanted to try to help people you cared about or advance the plot or anything. And you said, nope, I'm going to let my shock heal up today.

This seems like an opportune moment to do that. So you let that happen. What's weird is that my hair is still messed up. Good. Yeah, man, but it looks like cool. And we'll just say that I've recovered. We'll just say that I've recovered from my first surgery at this point, but my second surgery is still.

What was your first surgery? Getting the pin out. Oh, yeah. That was forever ago, you know? That was forever ago. That's a good point, Griff. And let's just say that you have done that. Okay.

In exchange for, you know, being proactive in any way about the narrative. Do you think in like Ocarina of Time, there's ever like villagers in Hyrule who are like getting attacked by like a skeleton or something at night? And they're like, but, uh, the hero of Hyrule, Link will come see of us. And meanwhile, Link just like plays a song to jump forward to the next day. And it's like, well, shit. Well, shoot. Yeah, I guess I kind of thought. Let's crime. Um, can I try and case the joint just sort of casually from, I guess from outside? We know the means of entrance into this place, the back, the back channels, so to speak. How heavy is the, you know, presence of security here?

Does it seem bolstered or does it seem like things have calmed down at this point? It seems bolstered. Okay. In a showy way. Is it local used to have been security or has this been brought in? Right. Good question, Trave. They look like old-timey, old-timey Pinkertons.

So these are used to been security members of the customer experience team. Do we know any of them? Do you know any of them? I'll remind you, used to be it is our territory. Yeah, yeah, you know a couple of them. One of them. You know one of them. You know most of them.

Now we need to know everything about the one that we do know. Well, I'm convinced. I think Justice said we know one of them, but we know most of them. Oh, I see. No, no, no. You know one of them. And probably some others. You know one pretty good.

We know one. One's on a first name basis. Yeah, and the other ones you've like seen around. Like you would probably nod. Like you would be like, like one of them is like you'd go like go see a movie or something. And others are like, if you needed someone to fill out your fancy football team, you might be like, hey, did you, are you into that? Oh, cool. Okay.

Great, good, great. Like if we were at a party where we didn't know anybody, right? And we saw one of these guys, we would probably talk to them because there's nobody else that we know. But we wouldn't. It would be honestly, Trave, it would be right on the line. Okay. You might try to play like you did not see them. Okay.

But these aren't the kind of guy we would check with to say, are you going to be at that party? Exactly. Right. Exactly right. But if you got a little bit loose towards the end of the party, you might be like, I should talk. Why haven't I ever talked to you? You are cool.

You're a cool guy. We would make like ephemeral plans that we would be like, we should go to a movie together sometime. We should like hang out more and never really lock that in. Yep. Okay, got it. Okay. That clears it all up. Thank you.

Good, good, good. Does it? Yeah, I want to talk to the one that we do know. Okay. And his name. His name? His name? Oh, his name, yes.

Do you want me to pick? are you going to pick? No, I'll tell you what his name. Well, I know about the character. Of course. Sorry, I didn't mean doing it. I know about the character of him. His name is Garrett. Garrett. Long John's. Garrett Long Johns. Cool. Cool name, just. Not right. No, that's not at all. You say, you say Garrett, Garret Long John's?

No, we know him. He looks at you blankly like a, that's. Now, hold on, Justin. I'm confused. Did you trick me just now or what happened? Yeah, that was a wild GM move. I didn't know that we had that kind of power to just... What? But you would be like, yeah, you know him.

His name is Garrett Long Johns. No, it's not. I got you, idiot. No, you're right. You're right. It is Garrett Long Johns. Yeah. Damn it.

This is a good time to tell you guys that... I just have seen now... Okay, I've seen the one time that Griffin was like, I don't know. Barry Blue... I was going to say his name actually was Peter Smith, but I just came up. I said Barry Blue jeans,

and then he was too polite to correct you guys for the rest of the rest. And then it's in comic books, and it's in comic books. Cereals. And they're slapping it on a lunchbox and they're selling it. The T-R-PG, the, yes. Okay, so Garrett is standing guard there. Who's chatting him up?

I can. Sensible choice. Sensible choice. Makes sense. Make sense. I walk up to him and I have a microphone in my hand. And I'm talking into it as we walk up to Garrett. And I say, the night was thick.

with mystery and intrigue. Something terrible had happened and used to been, but... Mr. Montrose, what are you doing? Sorry, just one second. We are rolling. What are you rolling, Mr. Montrose? I'm going to take that clean. One second.

Just let me... Okay. The night was thick with stinky mystery. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. My Christ alive. The levels. The levels. Try it again.

Yeah, pot those down. Try it again. Okay, sorry. Okay, Garrett. Hey, Garrett. Is that Garrett? Long, Jones? Mr. Montrose, you know that it is me.

What do you need? Oh, well, we are just knocking out. But it is not safe for you to be around right now, Mr. Montrose. You know this. It's a terrible crime. Oh, Garrett, I've got his back. Don't worry about that, Garrett. Yes, and that is the danger of our job.

You see, we are the creators of a hit Murder Mystery Podcast. Oh. Perhaps you'd heard of it. I bet I haven't. This one carries such tremendous cachet. Certainly, think of the most popular murder-based podcast that you can... I've never listened to one. I'm sorry. You've never listened to Murder We Spoke? No, in...

That's the name of it. Yeah. You understand, of course. You're from used to bit. You gentlemen know that you... I couldn't have headphones or anything. Garrett, Garrett, you're being obtuse. Come on, man. We all have those things that people used to.

I've listened to a few murder podcasts. You know in TV and movies when people are listening to the ballgame in church? We know you have one of those. Oh, the little thing with the bad looking cord. Yes, of course. Yeah, you know the one. Listen, the advertisers have abandoned us. Eric, and if we are going to stay solvent,

we need a hit. Our last season did not do so great when it turned out that the dog did it. People were not satisfied with that conclusion. They were like, how does a dog even use a gun? I was going to go listen, but now I feel like I don't need to. Not worth it.

The dog used a gun to kill a guy, and it doesn't make any sense. Very disappointing. It's why I know, you know, and people told us over and over again. Don't get into, like, murder podcast, because like, whatever, it's not satisfying. And you're like, well, we'll just make a good product,

and then people will like it. No. Turns out, that's not the case. Well, I am perfectly willing, able to help you, Mr. Montrose, whatever I could do within my limited capabilities. I'm at your service. Sure, just look the other way as we walk into the building, get a little bit of B-roll, but audio.

I can't do that. You understand, of course. there would be a dereliction of my duty. Not even for a producer credit. Garrett Long John's producer of podcast.

This has got this now Mr. Montrose this is interesting. Okay. Okay. Me. Garrett Long John's an audio producer. This is where the money is.

Oh yeah. Okay. We could probably even go executive. He does not speak for the rest of us. That is a hobby- I think it's fair to think about. He's really contributing to our efforts.

Okay, this is intriguing. Okay. Griffin, give me the dice I crave. This is going to be... Give him those yummy bones. I'm going to say controlled, limited. Okay, controlled and limited. Okay.

Oh, wait, can I... And I'm going to assist. No, it's controlled. Yeah, you don't need to. Yeah, there we go. That's what I was going to say. Here we go. 235.

Mix success. Mix success. Let me see what a mixed success would be. You know, look it up on the table, executive producer credit, and they cross-reference that... You actually have a choice to make here, Griffin. Okay.

You can accept them. with some like, you know, a little bit of, a little bit of dust on the gum, you know? You could take it with a little bit of dust on the gum. Or you could you could re-roll in a risky position. Yeah, I'll do that. Because statistically, I have rolled six dice at that point, so a six will come up. So I'll try again from a risky position. Yeah, 664. That's actually a critical success.

Whoa. Holy crap. 664. Garrett disappears. God, you guys get rolls right when you need them. Dang it. Is this when we needed it? This feels like when we fucking needed it, Trave.

I mean, it's pretty good. Now I'm going to have to make up something that's in there. Okay. All right. Okay, Mr. Montrose, you have one minute. over. I am so thrilled to be participating in Garrett Long John's Presents. We're going to say Long John's Presents. Garrett Long John presents murder we spoke.

Murder we spoke. Wow. Okay. Let me just sort of, okay. And he opens the door and kind of shoes you all in and follows behind you. because he wants to be really, really helpful. Yeah, okay. Would you be open to doing an interview, Gary? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, okay. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Okay. Yes. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I'll be interviewed. Okay. And while you do that, how about you two walk around, get some Foley,

see what you see, maybe, you know, check, yeah, we check all over. Be third. row now. And I want to, and I'll get set up sort of in a corner and try and position Garret so that his back is facing the room. All right. I'm sitting here with Garrett. Can you spell your name for me?

G. R-A-G-A-R-R-R-E-T. That's good enough. Thank you. We can roll with the rest of it. Mr. Long-O. Yeah, we're going to go to Paul's River. You know?

Yeah, you go. Yeah. No, no, that's fine. Yes, let's go. I mean, you'll hear it on the tape. You don't need to be here live. That's the whole point of a recording, Dad. Right, got it.

Yeah. Now, Dad, I know that you're new to audio recording, right? But what you do is you're speaking to a microphone scene and listen to it again later. What do we want to do this? I figure we could actually get some information out of Garrett that could be useful, but I know also you guys now have an opportunity to poke around a little bit. Yeah, we can jump back and forth. Let's ask you guys.

What do you want to do? Yeah. Let's, I guess do the interview and maybe we'll glean something that you guys can use to dig up. Yeah, the only thing I want to make sure of is like we're in a different room from Garrett, right? So we don't have to like justify our actions

as we search through stuff, right? I'm trying to keep Garrett from looking at you guys. Right. But what I'm saying is like, I think what, so we're in the prize pantry, but we're going to like Paul's quarters. Here's what I'm saying. With a double six.

You can, Garrett will not be stopping you. Yeah. Okay. There might be some like other complications, but like you don't need to worry about Garrett or anything. Got it. Okay, great.

Garrett, let's start with the day of the crime. When were you made aware of the terrible murder that took place here at the at the prize pantry? Hmm. Well, I was at home. Um,

and they called me in and said they needed. all of the security to come in. It was supposed to be my day off, Mr. Montrose, but I came in because I'm a loyal, you know, a loyal employee of Dentonic, have been for many years, and I came in and they told us the story about the terrible misfortune that had befallen Mr. Paul Bantrey. There's a story? Of course And then he recounts to you the same story that you heard from Kinchel this morning Did you actually see the body, Mr. Long Jones?

Oh, no, no, no, I was still making my way in. So you didn't observe the weapon? No, they had it pretty much cleaned. I was down in the dorms and I was taking the Utilispire elevator up to the used to been level and I came after all of the excitement it passed, it seems.

I hold the microphone to my own mouth and I say, and then Garrett Long Johns said something, something innocuous that cracked the whole case wide open for us. I stopped the recording. It's okay, Garrett, just anything that sort of seems out of the ordinary that keeps this from being an open-shut case, something that you're king of security instinct, may have picked up on really just the slightest thread that we can pull on throughout the season.

This is your moment, Garrett. Okay, recording. Oh, I noticed something. If, if, if, if that's okay, I'd like to say it on the shit on your tape. Now, you understand this may not come to anything or mean anything. Well, I just, they, they say, said it was terrible. The scene

with Mr. Paul Pantry. They said it was terrible with the blood. But I noticed the woman. What was her name? The

perpetrator. One second. I flipped through a notebook. Uh, gravel? Gravel. How unusual? Strange name, yes. I noticed

This gravel didn't have a spot of blood on her. All right. Travis and Dad, what are you guys up to? I'm snooping. Snooping my butt off. Opening drawers. Snooping your butt off. We are going to need a little bit more specificity as to the nature of said snooping.

Yeah. The direction of the nature of snooping. So knowing Paul, my old friend, my old dead friend, he had, dirt on us, right? So I know that he has secrets. So I'm checking drawers, but I'm also looking for any, like, compartments. I'm looking for...

Baring in mind that we have been in this office before when he, like, revealed his deceit, his surveillance to us. Right. So, rifle it. So, so... So tell you what, Trav, give me survey, right? Or yes, right?

Or is there, that would be the one. Of all your available skills, I think survey? It's interesting because I was going back and forth doing study, right? But study feels like specifically, yeah, right? Okay. Right. I'll tell you what, you can survey for something that looks weird, you could, and you could study if there's something specifically you want to try to, to, to, you can, you could, to, you could, you could study.

to get some information from. Okay, yeah, you know what? I want to study the surveillance stuff that he had in here before, so the surveillance tapes of the night in question. Boy, that would crack this whole thing wide open if we could just see him. Yeah, wouldn't it? Take that, Jamie.

Yeah, those have been confiscated. Yeah, I figured, yeah. Yeah. I figured that. Believe it or not. Okay. Then I'm just going to survey for compartments and rooms and stuff. In any specific room, in Paul's office or like just anywhere in, most of it is show building.

Yeah. Yeah. So. In Paul's office. Paul's office. Okay. Um, is the is. Mm.

Controlled. Okay. I'm really giving you guys a lot with that 6-6. I just feel like... Yeah, man. We got it clean. You took a risk and it panned out, so I'm trying to make it pay off for you. And I appreciate that, brother.

Yeah. Effect? Um, standard. Okay. I'm going to push myself because I have zero in survey. I don't know what to tell you. It's a 6. Natural 6.

Wow. Yes, yes, yes. Wow. The T-Man. Okay. You go to Paul's desk and you start looking around. And you know that this had been just like loaded up with documents and files and everything. You start looking around the desk.

And what you notice mainly is like it is barren. I mean, it is beyond empty. There are places where it looks like, like, there used to be some files, documents, but it has been absolutely picked clean. This is presumably, if you were to ask someone, because, you know, we've got to, this is a place of business and we have to keep moving forward. But here is what you can discover with a six. You are reaching underneath the desk of Paul pantry, and when you're reaching underneath it, you feel, and a quick peek confirms this,

you feel a one inch by two inch piece of Velcro. Just the hook, the hook half, the part that something would be affixed to. One inch by two inch, maybe a flash drives worth of Velcro. Or a pack of gum. I mean, maybe that's where he stored his secret gums.

Sure. Someone stored secret gums there. Uh-huh. Whatever this was. It's one of those two, though, right? Like a flash drive or a secret pack of gum? It ain't there anymore. Okay.

Montrose. You were doing the interview. Dad, what are you doing? I'm going to hit the way back button to the first part of this show. And finally, speak to Eustis, Shabone. Okay. My hard light creation that dwells within the prize pantry.

Okay. And I'm going to talk to him. Okay. You call for Eustace, and he sort of phases into the room. Typically, hard light try, when there are hard light characters, they attempt to not fold.

form in front of people. The guests find it disconcerting. It kind of breaks the illusion. And that would be thought of as poor form. But because of the situation that's after hours, you see Eustace forming in front of you. And the effect of a hard light person or any hard light appearing in front of you is rather, it's kind of beautiful. It's basically in slices, like quarter inch slices that just sort of slide into. a place in the course of a second, you know, maybe a, uh, 150, 200 of these slices just,

uh, form right in front of you, stacking one on top of the other. And then standing before you is Eustace. What does, what does he look like? Um, I don't remember if we talked about this last time. Um, he's, um, he's baldheaded. He, uh, has a fringe of, he has a tonsure. Um, Oh, a tonsure, nice. He has a tonsure. Um, um, he has a tonsure. Um, um, um, um, And it is sort of like overalls. He wears like, not like coveralls. Like, okay, this is enough. And.

Well, hello, Papa. Oh, my. Houston, my friend. How are you? Oh, I'm just, I'm very well, Papa. How can I help? Oh. Uh, well, I don't know if you're cognizant of what has happened to, um, to sticky fingerspult pantry.

Um, were you in standby mode by any chance? Oh, Papa, yes, I just heard about it today. Oh. Oh, Papa. What a sadness. I know. And I knew that you would be, uh, very distraught over this. Um, I want you to know. Everything's okay. Papa's here.

Oh, good, Papa. You wouldn't let those, whoever did this terrible thing hurt me. Of course, of course, are you? No, nothing is going to happen to my sweet Shabon boy. Don't you worry about it. So, so that I may protect you, do you, do you have any insight at all

as to who may have perpetrated this terrible, heinous deed? No. Oh. Well, that's rather disappointing. I'd kind of build up to something there. I know. But sometimes, but that, I don't know why you thought that. You just sort of guessed.

Well, I told you. I was in standby mode, Papa. I know. I can't, I'm sorry. I was asleep. I know, but I get so tired. I know, I know, but listen, even in standby mode, you have to have some sort of have your monitoring function. Otherwise, how will you know when someone summons you?

And I was just hoping. perhaps you had heard something unusual or had taken in something unusual had had had sticky fingers had any strange visitors or any anything out of the ordinary happened recently Papa this is what was so unusual I didn't hear anything or see anything. It was this terrible crime. Papa had occurred, but I have been in standby mode here on the show floor where Mr. Paul Pantry was found and Papa, I heard nothing. Nothing at all. Oh, we already cut away from you. So you're, I mean, you could say that, but the camera's not on you. I think that. That was dad. Oh, well, I mean, yeah, I guess that could be in it too, Traff.

No, I'm just saying. I think dad. was making the observation. Oh my God. Is this an appearance by Clint McAwood? No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Yeah, don't force it.

Don't force it. All right, so I want to reconnect with Garrett and, mostly with Montrose. Not Garrett. I don't, hey, Garrett, what did you find out? I want to reconnect with Montrose now and be like, oh my God, it's a good B-roll and some good, good room tone. Garrett, is there any,

video monitoring that system that is set up here that you know someone could take a look at oh yes yes well we can't you understand let go straight to Dentonic

they're monitoring all of that there are cameras but it all feeds back into the main HQ at the data center the main HQ at the data center would have this video... Well, I suppose then they must have footage of gravel doing this crime. Oh, I have to imagine.

Because why else would this have happened? I don't understand. Why else would they be saying she did the crime? Yes, this seems like an open and shut one. Perhaps this isn't the season that we were hoping for. Perhaps. And I know that this means... noticing she didn't have any blood is meaningless.

And I'm sorry to have wasted your time. I said it in a way where it seems so important, but now I can see it was just a big fucking waste of time. Well, Garrett, they can't all be hits. I'm so sorry, Mr. Vantros. I need you to sign this form. If you don't mind, it's a release form. Oh, happily signed.

I wish it was a death warrant. Hey, now, Garrett. Come on now. I'm useless. But you're Garrett Long, John Hancock, right? And initial here. And we're still on for trivia on Wednesday, right? Of course.

Yeah, you're a sports guy. We wouldn't be able to do it without you, Garrett. Garrett, Garrett slinks off. Should we slink off? He has a job to do. No, he slinks back outside. Oh, okay. Can I?

And you all, sorry. Go ahead, yes? Can I, what did you want to do? Before we leave, can I take a look at where we saw the body? Yeah. Okay. I do that. Okay.

It's a, you see a floor. There's no blood, no anything that it has been so, it has been scrubbed from existence. It has been scrubbed. Clean. Yes. Okay. I rescind my question. Okay.

Can we talk? Can we compare notes? Sure, yeah. Yeah, please do. Fellows, I spoke to Eustis. And hard lights, when they are in standby mode, I still have some oral intake. They are able to monitor.

That's disgusting. A-U-R-A-L. They hear because they have to be summoned. And supposedly, when this murder occurred, there was absolutely no sound whatsoever, according to Eustace. And is it possible the murder didn't happen here? I, listen, if I may, I think that the absolute,

of stuff is all the information we need, right? Because we got Garrett saying she didn't have any blood on her. No, right, no blood. We have used to saying he should have heard something, but he couldn't hear anything. And I looked and where that information, the secret stuff should have been, wasn't there. So it seems to me,

this was somebody who knew how to deactivate hard light awareness, knew where this. this information was hidden and was going for it, and then knew a good scapegoat that they could pin it on. This was an inside job. Oh my God, it wasn't me, was it? No, no, of course it was. No, this was somebody who,

this wasn't like somebody trying to rob the pantry and it went wrong, right? This was a hit. This was somebody who maybe was being blackmailed or wanted that information, and they orchestrated a very controlled assassination on Paul Pantry and pinned it on gravel so that they could get a hold of whatever information was on that drive. You're assuming a lot based on a small piece of Velcro, but I do think there is some merit. Either that or is that Paul wouldn't share his gum and this person was sick of it.

That's possible too, I guess. rectangular objects. That's the only two it could possibly be. This is a very gum-heavy mystery. Yes. I think we have everything we need to crack this thing wide open. And then I press stop on the recording, and I say, I have no fucking idea what's going on. But...

The door bursts open, and it's... It's Garrett. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, but I wanted to... I wanted to improve the show, so I wouldn't found the investigator so I could... You could interview her for the show. Good. That's a good thing you did. Good, initiative.

Yes, excellent. You may have to work to co-producer. So the door opens and you see a woman. who is wearing a formal business suit, much more modern than you're used to seeing her in. And you look into her eyes. And it's Darlett Davis. And she said,

So I hear you boys, wanted to second guess me. And that's where we'll stop. Great. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience. Audience supported.