The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Steeplechase - Episode 28
Episode Date: June 1, 2023The Pop Patrol is on the case! The gang question the definitely alive members of Gravel's gang in order to try and gather more clues on who is really pulling the strings. Beef pitches a plan. Montrose... finds a method. Emerich gets burned.Opening monologue performed by Autumn Seavey Hicks: https://www.instagram.com/autumnseaveyhicks/?hl=enAdditional music in this episode: "Dialogue" and "A Mysterious Place" by Kirk Osamayao: kirkosamayo.com; A Rainbow in the Dark" by Dilating Times https://www.tommasocroce.it/; "Back in the 80s" by Holizna: https://holiznaroyaltyfree.bandcamp.com/; and "Six" by Lex Villena: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2iwj2SqGnplhDIadeJ5bmy?si=N8WYSKIPR7WUy8z4ajNSog. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Not gets a little bit lost in the shake with all that yummy chocolate and pecan,
but with so few new desserts on offer in Passion's Cove,
this one is still well worth your snack credits.
Lastly, another report of a guest getting mugged in Gutter City.
A 63-year-old Spanish teacher visiting from Iowa not only had his backpack stolen,
but then was pushed into a mud puddle by some local tough guys.
It seems without Darla Davis keeping an eye on crime,
it's getting a little bit out of hand in the city that rarely naps.
But hey, that's gutter city, right?
It's all a part of the charm.
If you're hoping to spend a quiet night there,
we hope you never know when to stop dreaming.
I'm hopeful, chukas.
Perhaps optimism is just the last refuge of those.
There's nothing left to lose.
Hello, everybody, and welcome to...
Sorry, was he talking to Shugals and Optimus Prime?
What?
He said Shukles and Optimus.
Optimus.
And Travis's, I think.
Oh.
Nothing left to lose.
Okay.
That's, yeah, that was part 37 of the riddle.
I hope you guys have all been writing down the riddle.
It's Transformers.
Clues to the riddle.
All the pieces of the riddle are in.
I'm going to get you.
I'm going to get you.
So to catch everybody up in case, you know, it's been a little bit since you listen to the last episode.
Sticky fingers, Paul Pan.
is dead. Long live sticky fingers, Paul Pantry as...
But he is reborn also. He is reborn.
And Chad Touch. In Chad's sticky touch pantry.
Right. The worst.
Don't know why I already had two characters that are all about like hand stuff. I don't know what that says about me, but...
Oh, just running Taz really teaches you a lot about your...
It does, right?
Beautiful dark twisted fantasies.
Like it's like you open up your third eye and your third eye's like,
Hand stuff?
Hand stuff?
Okay.
Can you come back?
Hey, come back, come back.
Where are you going?
Hey, Jess, come back here.
Hey, just a hand stuff.
What do you want?
Hand stuff.
It's just a game.
It's just a game.
Um, so, uh,
grow up.
The, in our last episode.
Adults do hand stuff.
It's fine.
All right.
So you're, uh, so you're sleuthing.
Um, you noticed that the footage had been doctored in some way.
Uh, but that's not really,
That's not really the most important.
The important thing is that gravel was not actually present at the crime.
As far as you could tell, it seemed to be in hard light simulcra of, of gr...
Is smulchler or the plural?
Smulcrum.
Smulcrum is the singular.
Okay.
Of gravel and the footage had been doctored by someone with a dentonic workstation.
And that the three of you had sort of decided that,
You weren't, you didn't want to let this stand in your, in your territory.
We must protect this house.
You have to protect this house.
So, what does that look like?
And I know we're not going to have a super concrete direction right at the moment,
but I'd love to hear you guys maybe table talk a bit about like what the, what's the plan?
What are we going to do?
Yeah, I think I've been pretty upfront about the fact that Montrose does not, it is not particularly moved by
the plight of saving
gravel who is a
competitor in the field
sure I Griffin loves
gravel Montrose is not
going to risk risk his
own bacon
to save
her bacon so Montrose is
I think most fired up right now by
Beef Punchley's sudden investment in the criminal
arts
with with his impassioned speech
last episode
and so I just I want to find
whoever did this
and put them in the ground.
Or not, maybe not that.
Well, we'll see.
This is the thing, right?
We'll see.
We have a, much like any heist, right?
We have a overall goal, which is to end with more kind of influence and control,
both here and used to been and in steeplechase in general.
The way that that gets accomplished, there's a lot of like, oh, yeah, I mean, if that works out,
that's great.
If this works out, that's great.
But at the end of the day, yeah.
day the way we accomplish it is not as important to me as making sure that our hold our safety
and security in eustabin is stronger right that like we end this having a better stronghold where
we don't have to worry as much that's beef's thing yeah and i think amricks thing is whoever did this
they need to make an example out of so people know that they you can't
Fuck with poppy's patrol.
Don't talk with Poppy's place.
Fuck with Poppy all you want.
Poppy Patrol is interesting.
It does start to feel like Paw Patrol.
Yes, Travis, that is the point.
Yeah, the point.
Is it the point?
The point of it is that it sounds like Paw Patrol, which is good.
Okay.
Maybe we just shorten it to Pop, and so it's Pop Patrol.
Interesting.
Let's think on that.
So, you guys are big tough guys.
You're talking a big tough guy game.
I have an idea for a first step in this campaign.
This is already not feeling like our other heists where it's like,
let's go steal the thing to make some money.
When we get to a point where that makes sense,
that will absolutely be the angle.
But I think right now you're right.
It's just what are you heist?
What are you heist?
Here's what I've been praying on.
If we do this, right, if this episode we crack this fucking case and get in there
and find whoever did this and didn't.
tonic and stop them and they never can do it again.
That doesn't necessarily send a message.
That doesn't necessarily do this thing that we are hoping it will do.
I think we should go to the buttercream, and I think we should try to find Gravel's crew
and just fucking loop them in.
We don't really have many alliances, so to speak of, and if we can, as a side effect,
save Gravel and get her in our debt, then it seems like getting in there with her crew
and kind of giving them a briefing
and see what they can help us with
is maybe not the worst place to start.
If I can add to that, though,
what is our status with the giant robot judges?
I mean, we destroyed.
Isn't there one still around?
There's two more still around.
Hold on, wait.
Let me look.
Oh, yep, there they are right in my back pocket.
Okay, yeah.
But what I'm saying is, isn't it,
generally thought that Emmerick is responsible for the death of a couple of people.
Are you asking if that magically went away, Dad, because the answer is no, no, no.
I think what Dad is saying is he known in the grab, like, the butter cream in a tough time
in the gravel.
And dad, I don't know, man, but it sounds like compelling podcast audio.
Yeah, yeah, I'm with you.
I think the next step is the buttercream to do some cutting.
But first, creaky man spoke to us from a machine.
Is there anything?
Yeah, we gotta get...
Are we just gonna pretend that didn't happen?
Well, I'm clearly not, because I brought it up.
Good.
But you guys seem like you were going to.
Well, I'm not going to.
Let's pick it back up in the room right where we left off.
Hey, creaky, man.
Creaky man?
You still there, creaky man?
No, Creaky man left.
Damn it.
Creaky man.
Uh-oh.
Okay, then talk about.
Yeah, tell us what we should do, Creaky Man.
You seem to be omnipresent.
Damn, you was not kidding about it.
He was really an infuriating present sometimes.
I still can't tell if it's a long pause.
Yeah, it might be.
He breathes.
He's creaking.
He's just creaking.
Creaky man.
I don't think he's going to say anything else.
We have ourselves a ghost in the machine,
and we may need to interface with that.
At some point.
Oh, do you want me to now?
You want me to, right now?
I would love to.
You want me to?
Sure.
Yeah, if you can.
Okay.
I think that, I think Emrick is going to tinker with whatever machine,
whichever game that the voice came out.
I always forget the name of it.
It's not how to win friends and influence people,
but it's like that.
It's a joke on that.
It's a joke on that.
How to win pals and influence persons.
Come on.
That's what we did.
Best work.
Not mine.
That's not me.
Okay.
Just to see if, if, okay, yeah, Tinker.
I'm going to do a Tinker roll.
Fucking great, man.
Do it.
That's a great idea.
Does it be Tinker or if you're trying to talk to one of these things or.
Yeah, you're not fixing it.
Yeah.
A tune maybe?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'll do an a tune roll.
And that would be, what do you think?
Controlled?
I mean, I can't see.
Yeah, me.
For sure.
You know,
what, it is risky, dad, because I think that whatever this is is failing.
And maybe you have a one shot at it.
Okay.
All right, so a tune, and it's risky.
Standard.
Okay.
Oh, no.
One two, two.
Bye, creaky man.
Oh, this is, this is really good, dad.
This is really good, dad.
You pull out one of your tools to interface with it.
I imagine it's kind of like you pull a long cable out of the give of a ghost projector that like will automatically wind itself and you pull a long cable out and you plug it into the the data port of this machine.
And just as you like plug it in, you see like a greenish crackle of electricity that arcs right back up this cable and shocks you burning your arm for a level.
one harm and the machine
shuts down. It goes black
appearing to have blown some sort of
fuse or circuit or something.
Probably a fuse
would be the thing that I would say.
Hold on guys. You got to give me a second.
Let the palpable relief that that did not work.
Just sort of wash over me for a second.
All right.
All right. So we know now that the
pre-command is not to be trifled with.
Does anyone have any unguentine?
Anybody?
Ah, look, look, look.
That's an old, that must be some sort of old person.
Old cream of life.
It was an unguent.
It was a tinct shirt.
All right.
We'll, uh, we'll visit the old band CVS on a.
So I have to mark a level one harm?
Uh, yes, sir.
Arm burn.
Bad arm burn.
Bad armbarrassing.
Embarrassing.
Did you get that trying to interface with a ghost in our keying?
It's so embarrassing.
I'm sorry.
All right, let's jump under a train or whatever.
What are you doing?
To get to the butter cream.
Going to the butter cream.
Do it.
Okay, I just said the thing, and then now my watch has ended.
Do you want to take the byrail, or do you want to take one of your sneaky passages?
Let's take a sneaky passage.
Because I don't like jump.
I feel like the train thing is going to not go good for us one of these times.
Okay, do you want to go up or down?
Up is where you first saw gravel.
That's the...
Up.
Okay.
Wait, but what is down?
I want to hear the options.
Well, there's up, and then there's down.
But what's down?
You said up is where you first saw gravel.
What's down?
A different butter cream.
Oh.
I mean, a different layer of the butter cream.
It's hazelnut chocolate.
You're not as well known there.
Let's go up.
Yeah.
Okay.
With up, how would you get up, Griffin?
You're the one with the knowledge of secret passageways.
How would you get up?
without the byrail.
It is, I mean, it's pretty slapdash.
It's pretty, I imagine it's like a cable,
just a long, long, long cable that's maybe running from a gap
in the panels above to like behind, what's the driving around one,
the backseat blast?
Yeah.
It goes behind the backseat blast.
and there's like a little stir up for you to put your foot in.
So it's really a one person at a time thing.
Okay, you pull yourself up by this crappy rope that you've made.
Hey, I didn't say it was crappy.
Oh, you're right, it's good actually now that you're pulling on.
I thought you said slapdash.
Is it good slapdash?
You said slabdash, so I just thought it was bad.
I mean, it's improvised.
That doesn't mean it's bad.
You know what I mean?
Like, this show is improvised.
It seems of good improv.
That's true.
Yeah.
Okay. What do you want to do?
I mean, we have not interfaced with, and I'm sorry, I keep using that word,
with anyone else in Gravel's crew since the big crime, right?
Well, we have tried before, I know I have tried before to find their base of operations
when like the first time we came to the buttercream and failed.
Well, you know, we're connecting.
with Stimson and Stimson is connected with people.
Oh yeah, let's go to Stimson.
Interesting.
Okay.
Maybe that's just who we go to.
Maybe if Stimson is plugged in here
and we need someone who can, at the very least,
tell people what happened to what happened to used to Ben
and then hopefully to never try that shit again,
Stimson would be like a good envoy for that.
Okay.
Give me 30 seconds
To hear Stimson's voice
Hello
I didn't think I would see you so soon
Welcome back
What could I help you find today
What is the traditional amount of time
That one should go between
Stimson visits just so we don't catch you by surprise next time
Well
That's a good point
I lose track down here
It didn't used to be a problem for me
but I don't see the sun as much.
So I don't know how much time has passed.
I just wasn't expecting it.
Do you want us to get you like a watch or something?
Like a clock?
What would be the point?
Oh, okay.
Yours is a sad existence, isn't it, Stamps?
I try not to dwell or make sort of judgments about it.
I just am in my situation.
Oh.
And I find if I don't pass judgment on it,
is good or bad, I'm able to just
be in it. That's incredibly
zen. I love that. Well, you'll be
surprised if you're trapped in a cat costume
for long enough, you will eventually
just sort of
make your piece.
My friend here is pretty good with tools. We can try and cut you out of
that thing. Oh, I
appreciate it, but I've gotten used to it at this point
as I've made pretty clear.
Oh, so not stuck in it, like
physically stuck in it. But
more like emotionally, mentally, you are in that suit?
Well, for a long time, it was the first one.
And now I think it's the second one.
But also, the first one, too.
Oh, okay.
Still.
Yeah.
So it's kind of, yeah, kind of both.
But hey, this isn't about me.
What do you all need?
Have you heard about what happened with Paul Pantry or the Pau Pantry before the current one?
And gravel and all that stuff and used to been.
Nasty business, yeah.
It was terrible.
It's not true.
Yeah, I mean.
Oh, I mean, Paul Pantry is dead as hell, but it was a frame job.
Oh, yeah.
I had wondered, from what little I knew of gravel, it seemed very out of character for her to be so brazen with a crime like that,
especially against another person.
I don't think her heart was in the right place,
but she didn't seem particularly violent,
and certainly not one to take those big risks out in the open.
Yes, this was an act of treachery from some mighty powerful folks.
We are new to the game Stimson.
I am not ashamed to tell you.
You're aware of our sort of fledgling status as a criminal enterprise.
we find ourselves a little bit out of our depths on how to
take on a target that is likely much more powerful than we are
and yet we do feel compelled to defend our home turf
I'm sure you can understand
do you think it was another
a gang another gang that did this
well no and I think you'll appreciate this
Stimson as someone who's been burned before we think this is on the
dentonic side of things oh
oh well
win some lose some thanks for coming uh best of luck you know that's not no closing up well no
stimson stimson if i may sort of elucidate the nature of this framing um someone has created and stop me
if you've heard this one before uh an incredibly lifelike incredibly accurate hard light
a hard light simulation
And it wasn't me.
And it was not my friend here.
You know we wouldn't be talking to you
if that was the case, right, Stimson?
That it wouldn't be a crime. It would just be a thing one of us did.
Right. Right.
So someone used a phony gravel that they made out of hard light
technology to commit a crime and frame her,
taking away her agency and her freedom ultimately.
and that Stimson seems like the kind of thing that might tug at your own heartstrings.
So.
Griffin, here's what I want you to do.
I want you to give me a sway roll and it's going to be controlled and it's going to be a great effect.
Because I think that that's a really good argument, but I do still need to introduce a little bit of randomness to it.
I got you.
Here goes.
165.
That's a 6.
Oh, my gosh.
Nice.
Well, that's an excellent.
That's not good.
It's not good at all.
Okay.
What can I do?
I'll do whatever, but tell me what, what can I do?
If you could put us like in contact with like Gravel's crew, like the people, any kind of like insight we could get on who might like have framed gravel.
You want to talk with, you want to talk with Slipper and, and Matchstick?
Yes.
Now, hold on, because there has been some debate on which one of the guys, my friend, murdered.
So this has been going, okay, so we've been confused about this too.
Rumor has it.
Slipper's fine.
I've seen Slipper, right?
Okay.
But either Matchstick or Trashbag was killed by, well, you.
And he points it
Well, Amrick
There wasn't your fault, by the way.
I meant you knew that
Whoever it was, I heard he had some sort of
Condition, like a pacemaker,
and all you did was sort of interrupt it with your shock.
So it wasn't like, it was just bad luck.
I mean, not bad luck.
You did shock a human being and we roll,
that's always a roll of the dice.
But, you know, if it makes you feel any better,
it does.
I'm going to say it does.
It's been, you've just been downgraded to manslaughter, my friend, and that is a huge.
And you know what I like to call that?
Man's laughter, if you think about it in a way.
That's actually beautiful.
So, yes, getting a time.
I caused a man's laughter.
Well, to end forever, yes.
And we are, we do need to talk to Gravel's crew.
Honestly, Stimson, I think we're mostly just looking for advice, maybe a little bit of help on how to send a
message to the world that our turf must not be infringed upon.
Well, um...
I think what I'm trying to set up here is like, I want, I, if we are looking to bolster
our street cred with this job, it seems like this could be part of the payoff of that.
If we have a, someone who is our, uh, street team, so to speak, in buttercream, like,
oh, shit, did you hear what I have a...
Happen and used to been, somebody like tried to fuck with them and then the pop patrol like
wreck their shop.
The problem with going against Dentonic is that they are the ones in control of the message.
And they can cover up anything.
They can make anything happen and they can hide anything.
and if you get too loud,
they'll make you go away too.
It's figuring out a way to do something
that they won't have such an easy time covering up,
maybe making it clear that it's not so easy
to change your story to whatever they want it to be.
There must be people like outside of Dentonic
that talk about what happens
in like seaplechase, right?
Like non-dentonic people
who talk about like the news and stuff that comes out.
The bloggers and the steepies and stuff?
Yeah.
Okay, bloggers and steepie, whatever.
How do we like get a message to them, right?
How do we like contact them?
So it's not just news coming through dentonic channels,
but like we're getting news spread like beyond them, right?
How do we get something out to them?
Well, you'd have a problem with that, I think, because they all really rely on Dentonic for access.
When there's early events, news, new snacks, or new, like, potted plants going up or bathroom renovations or any of it, Dentonic is the one who's controlling access.
So none of them want to get on their bad side.
But I will say that they, you know,
they're always covering stuff.
They're always making stuff, you know,
they're always, what you call it, with the cameras, you know,
they're always streaming, you know,
to their audiences live from the parks.
And not everybody could be here,
but, you know, some of the vloggers are allowed to,
like film like a day in the life or a day in the park or something.
If you could maybe make something happen live,
something that wouldn't be so easy for Dentonic to cover up like maybe.
Like if you're paying attention,
I noticed, for example,
they've been trying to cover up that,
uh,
the,
the castle.
But you know that wasn't them.
There's no way they'd make a castle disappear,
or blow up their own castle.
Hey, Stimson.
That was us, friend.
Don't, you didn't tell me that.
You didn't tell me that.
Okay.
You didn't tell me that.
I did just now, Stimson.
You didn't tell me that or we're done.
Yeah, we didn't tell you that.
No, we didn't tell you that.
That was a goof.
Whoever did it.
Whoever did it.
They're trying to cover it up.
They've put up kind of a,
fromy replacement just to save face.
And I'm assuming you aren't walking around with the castle in your back pocket.
So whoever, wherever that has ended up.
It's not in our back pocket.
It's no.
It's nowhere.
It's nowhere.
Nowhere.
No way.
Please, you guys can't get stupid now.
Right.
I'm serious about this.
You can't get stupid at this point.
I thought this was a circle of trust, Thompson.
I apologize for overstepping your boundaries.
You don't know what they're capable of.
I don't want to...
This is also a criminal underground,
so like we should be careful with the trust aspect of it.
Just be careful with trusting anybody.
Okay.
Stimson, have you ever considered opening a branch of your mercantile endeavors in Eusterman?
We are cultivating a very positive workplace action.
atmosphere there. I think your services would be extremely sought after. I'm just putting
a little bug in your feline-like ear to maybe think about coming to Eusterman and opening up a
branch of... I set foot topside. I'm in the brig within what? An hour? Well, not if you
have...
Our protection.
Hey,
Amric,
that's a great idea.
Let's maybe focus up,
though, for a minute.
Oh, right.
Sorry.
Okay.
Sorry.
You know my brain.
Tangent, tangent, tangent.
Can we have a huddle up here soon?
Yeah.
No.
Yes.
It's huddle time.
Hey, Amrik,
this is a wild idea.
But how long do you think you would take you to whip up a good,
A good, hard light version of Kenshalton.
Hmm.
Jesus Christ.
I, uh, well, I could do it, but I will tell you what I would need, and I don't want to
complicate things.
Um, I, I would need to, uh, have some source materials, um, to, to, to make a convincing
copy of Kensington.
I would need to speak to someone who has a vast array of video recordings of Kenshal Tenton
because for something that's sophisticated,
we would need to contact someone like Crystal with a K or someone like that to obtain a great deal of video footage.
I'm fairly sure
I could do it
I mean I still have
a rather convincing
Stick Your Fingers Paul Pantry
in my arsenal if you remember
And that one might be hard to pull off
Because he is famously murdered
He has been murdered yes
I would say
Dad this might
Okay
This might be possible
What I would say is that
You were we were all sort of
caught off guard by the idea that they
had replicated Scott Boldflex, right?
This idea of
creating a
simulation of a person
that already
exists is
fairly new.
I mean, Scott Boldflecks, that's why it didn't
occur to anybody with Scott Boldflex, right?
The idea that you could like make
a new person
as a result of that
is like a new sort of concept,
I think.
so it would be hard.
Like it would not be an, this is not something you would just like be able to do.
No, it would take, I think it would take the equivalent of a side project, a side at least.
Yeah, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
And it may take some sacrifice of existing materials, like existing crystals that we already have.
Mm-hmm.
Because, you know, we have very sophisticated crystals like from the Gulffire.
that
Ooh
Ooh
Oh you're
Exciting
What do you
What are you
What are you thinking that beef?
What do we get with a
With a fake Kenshal
Well
Aside from murdered
All three of us as soon as anyone finds out
What happened
Well we get
As I see it three things
One
If we can find
Somebody live streaming
And blogging
Here and used to Ben
An interview with Ken
Denton where he's like, yeah, we're working on stuff, uh, trying to fix up the fact that the,
you know, the tower was stolen and that there was a murder here and used to have been, right?
Like that is a big thing.
Two, uh, granting access if we were trying to get into like a security center or to where
uh, gravel is.
If we have our own Kenshal Denton, then nobody suspects isn't Kenshal Denton makes us easy to get there.
Uh, three, if it ends up getting Kenshal,
in enough trouble that he is removed from the equation,
it makes us a lot more secure
and we don't have to worry about being like blackmailed
or scapegoated by Kenshal Denton.
I'm confused.
Kenchle Denton is the closest thing we have to a contact on the inside.
Not that I trust him.
I almost, I certainly don't.
But this thing that you are suggesting
won't just sort of end any relationship we might have with Kinchel, then it will end.
And I can't stress this enough, our lives when we are, you know, shot by laser drones or whatever kind of advanced technology that they have.
Okay.
I love the idea of having a phony Kinchel.
It's just, if you're going to aim at the king, at the very least, we need to make sure that he is at the spa.
in the toilet with some sort of terrible stomach malady.
Well, what about...
What about, like, his cousin or sister,
whoever it is that's in charge right now?
He would appreciate that, right?
There's also Evelyn Denton.
That's the one that took over.
Okay, yeah.
And then Devin Denton is the cousin
who's apparently a shithead.
But Evelyn was the firstborn...
of car mine. So here's here's my thinking, Ditto, is that that happening in the middle of a
live stream in Eustibin, right, would be a big enough security issue that it's going to pull
security away from wherever gravel is and wherever the information regarding like the edited
video and shit is. And it's going to cause some chaos.
that says to people in Denton, like, we have resources to fuck back if you fuck with you
Staben.
And it also, another tertiary thing is that it will call into question being able to use
realistic highlights.
Yeah.
That's what I like about the fake kenshal plan is even if it comes to light that it's a fake
kenshal, people will now know that that is all of a sudden your identity is no longer
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, now that, okay, so that's kind of a leverage thing.
If we, if we can get somebody to do a video or some kind of live stream or something,
that, but we're presenting it not to say, hey, this is Kenchell Denton, but saying,
look what you can do.
Well, to Griffin's point, if we want to not fuck with Kenchell Denton,
who has our contact.
Devin Denton, I think, is a better way to go.
Right?
That's Evelyn's kid.
Right.
And Kenton's rival.
And no shithead.
Yeah.
Oh, that I like that.
The problem is that, the problem is that Kenchell is suss.
The way he conducted himself with the arrest of gravel was,
it really made it seem like he was.
in on it, right?
Because why else would he do that?
Why else would he be the one who is like boots on the ground,
arresting this person?
But it seems like what we need to do is talk to Gravel's crew
to see if we can figure out what his role in it was.
Yeah, we still need to talk to the creamers.
Yeah, we still don't know who the target is.
I think talking to Gravel's crew and finding out why she would be framed
would help us figure out who did the frame.
And why she wouldn't fight back.
Why she wouldn't fight.
back. Okay, great. Cool. Same page. Maybe Kenshal isn't the one to blame. I think next step is trying to talk to
the like gravel crew and figure out what exactly the like situation is, why she's, how she's involved and why Kenchell did what they, all that stuff.
Okay, Stimson, we need you to put us in contact with the most definitely alive member of Gravel's crew.
So, slipper. Slipper is definitely cool. Slippers for sure alive.
I've seen Slipper.
And trash bag.
You said you've seen trash bag?
No, we're not clear on that.
Either trash bag or matchstick is dead as disco.
Well, I would think that someone could pin that down if I'm being accused of murdering them.
It's not their real names.
Like, you can't just check certificates and whatnot.
You could have just, they may have switched also.
Yeah.
You know?
If you went to a hospital and, like a regular hospital, you said, hey, is trash bag?
dead. They would look at you
like you had a tree
growing out of the top of your head.
I think, my gut says
trashback died, but it's really
harder to say. Anyway.
Uh, yeah, but I can get you slipper.
Yeah, he's usually
over, uh,
you know, he hangs out
around the, the
future is you.
Um, you all set up. He's usually in that
neck of the woods if you want to go
poke around
for him. That is an excellent idea. Stimson, thank you so much.
Keep working on it. I feel like we should purchase something.
I mean, it's like when I go into a restaurant to use the restroom, I always buy a soda
because I feel guilty, you know, taking advantage of their services and not putting them
in someone. Could we buy, do you have anything that I could purchase?
You know, lots of stuff. Well, you will? I don't know. Something, something that would justify.
You just want some gum?
Oh, gum?
You just want some guy?
If this is just about guilt, just buy some gum.
Do you have peepum's nasty gum?
That is so rude.
Oh.
You would say that to me.
I can't believe he would say that.
He's a reputable...
I'd like you guys to go.
I'm going to need to cool off a little bit.
Yeah, I understand.
Hey, we're sorry about him.
Come on.
I can't.
I can't.
What you just said is very racist in the future.
Oh, it is?
Okay.
You probably already have a favorite animal.
Maybe it's a powerful apex predator like the tiger or a cute and cuddly panda.
And those are great.
But have you considered something a little more unconventional?
Could I perhaps interest you in the Greenland shark, which can live for nearly 400 years?
Or maybe the jewel wasp who performs brain surgery on cockroaches to control their minds?
On just the zoo of us, we review animals by giving them ratings out of 10 in the categories of effectiveness, ingenuity,
and aesthetics. Listen with friends and family of all ages to find your new favorite animal
with just the zoo of us on maximum fun.org or wherever you get podcasts. I'm Jordan Cruciola,
the host of feeling scene where we talk about the movie characters that make us feel seen.
And I'm the show's producer, Marissa. Jordan, you've interviewed so many directors, actors,
writers, film critics, and I like to play this little game where I take a sip of coffee every
time someone says, that's such a great question. That's such a fabulous question. Or
they tell you how smart you are.
I think that you are rather brilliant.
And of course, the big one is when they cry unexpectedly.
Yes, yes.
Jordan, I don't want to cry on your podcast.
I wasn't expecting to cry.
I mean, it makes me kind of want to cry.
Feeling seen comes out every Thursday on maximum fun.org.
Listen already.
What are you waiting for?
Jordan, that's such a great question.
You all head on over to the future is you.
And let's make it.
There's no point in belaboring this.
you poke around for a bit and
Justin you just said there's no point
belaboring it and then said the phrase
you do something for a bit
that's belaboring
well when I say you do something for a bit
what I mean is I'm looking for the thing
and the thing that tells me what Slipper's voice
sounded like but guess what guys
good news
Slipper never talked
Fuck yeah
you see Slipper he's sitting by himself
and he's just turning a Rubik's cube.
He's probably mid-40s.
He's got a long gray trench coat and some like very utilitarian black boots, black pants,
a cream-colored long-sleeve turtleneck,
and he's got a what do you want to call it, a toque or a toss-lice.
cap, a toboggan, whatever you like.
Beanie.
Pull down over his ears. Yeah, beanie.
It's a little chilly and damp in the butter creams.
Well, then Amrik has also, because of that, pulled up his cowl over his head and has put on a pair of very large, very dark sunglasses to try to disguise.
Smart.
Smart. Okay. Smart.
Perhaps one of you two should...
I lean over your shoulder and I say,
Ah, the Friedrich method, eh?
Gotta watch those corners.
Sorry, what?
It's just, it didn't look like you were
properly orienting your last layer
before you permuted the next one
and that's very, that's...
If you are trying to do the Fridrick method,
that is kind of the first thing that you do.
I've been,
trying to learn the Parsons algorithm.
So I've found Frederick to be a little bit pedestrian in my later solving years.
So I'm working with some developing and adapted algorithm.
To each their own, not everybody can memorize the 78 formulas that make up the Friedrich
method, but I suppose if you do not possess that level of mastery, you don't believe.
You don't believe so.
Front, front, up, down, left, front, right, front.
You've already fucked up.
Up prime, left prime, right, up front, left prime, up, right, front.
And that's all the moves you need.
See, I've inverted the classic alfrederick, you son of a bitch.
It's always nice to meet a fellow appreciator.
of the cubic arts.
Yes.
My name is Montrose, Primmie.
I realize I probably catch you at a hard time here with what terrible fate has befallen your
associate.
Sorry, I should be clear, Gravel, not the one who tragically perished.
Oh, that was a shame.
I'm no great fan of Gravel, though.
She abandoned me mid-job.
as you remember as you were there.
Yes.
Yes, I remember that now.
Let me think about how to approach this conversation.
Do you mind if I take a beat, thank you.
That's smart.
Hey, Slipper.
What do you know about Kenshal Denton?
Oh, um,
sort of a bit of a black sheep, yes.
Uh, of the dintonic family.
light on the actual responsibilities, more of a figurehead.
He's kept around and trotted out at meetings, mostly to give an air of youthful energy.
We know that.
I mean, like, what do you know about Kenchell Denton's role?
I thought that was good stuff.
I don't know.
I thought that was good context I was giving you.
But, hey, if you don't need to know more about Kenshal Denton and his role within the family,
then by all means, let's blow down.
Why don't you go ahead?
I noticed, yes, interrupted.
Did you do?
Yes.
Yoda?
I noticed I did.
Unnoticed I did.
Oh, Clipping Yoda, get out of here.
Deep dark.
No, Clipping Yoda.
But low on the actual power.
Seems like kind of a dill weed.
Can you think of any reason that he might be beefing with gravel?
He asks to someone who gravel has faintly.
fucked over
is probably
no in fact
has confirmed
that he is
beefing
um
hmm
should we just
put our cards out
on the table
yeah
yes
gravel didn't do
the thing
that she is being
accused of
and yet she seems
to be
um
she possesses
a somewhat
obsequious
nature
that we have
never known her
to possess
uh
with with regards
to this crime. Can you think of any reason why she would be the target of a framing and why she would
kind of just go along with it?
Um, do you whole, what do you think? Um, well, it's not uncommon for people to be taken out of the
buttercream, um, made an example of everyone knows that we're,
living on borrowed hair here.
Sometimes we, it's not uncommon for a creamer to get framed for something that Dintonic wants to make go away.
So that's not that unusual.
It could have been any one of us, I assume.
Maybe gravel was just chosen at random.
Is he lying?
Oh, yeah.
Is he lying?
Yeah.
Nope.
One of these days, that ability is going to really...
I can make the argument that it is working because you know that he's telling the truth.
That's fair.
That's fair.
But gravel is like, why would gravel go along with it peacefully and not argue with it, not try to fight it?
We got her attention and said, like, did you do this?
and she was like, that's what they say.
And there was like no fight in her.
Well, if you find yourself the target of the old timers from used to bin,
some of the crews from Passion's Cove or where have you,
there's a chance to push back, to take a stand, to run a scam.
But if Dentonix arrows in on you, there's just, that's it.
There's no reason to put up a fight.
We would sooner fight the sun.
Damn.
Hello.
My name is Lawrence Talbot.
Hello, Emmerich.
It should be noted.
you didn't shock me and I did not enjoy a matchstick or trash bags or whichever one of them.
Do you think the problem might be you?
Because if you go everywhere and everyone you talk to is an asshole,
that's a bold tactic to take with the person we're trying to get help from Montrose.
Oh, he has expressed, I would say, an overarching sort of disdain for taking any kind of action in this.
Enterprise, so we may be barking up the wrong tree.
Well, I mean, Emrick did shock me as well.
I did me.
So you knew it was me.
I had a cowl on.
I was wearing a cowl.
It was very impressive.
But the point I was trying to make is that they couldn't have just picked gravel out of a hat
because the sophistication of the hard light, they definitely copied
gravel and that wouldn't have been just
a choice out of thin air. There must have been a
reason why they
selected gravel. To go to that expense
and that trouble. Is there
anything that
connects
gravel and sticky fingers
ball pantry? Yes, that's what we're asking. No, the answer is
yes, the pen. I
well, if I may be so bold, please.
I think there's something more obvious that you're missing that connects the two of them.
It's the three of you.
Oh, fuck.
Yep.
Oh, fuck.
Oh.
You're saying that what happened was for our benefit?
In one fell swoop, they removed two of our contacts.
They took out Paul, who was connected to us and helping us, and took out Graval, who was connected to us and helping us.
Well, listen, I actually think this is kind of interesting. I like puzzles, but I'm not going to keep helping for free.
Oh.
What kind of payment?
Completely unnecessary. You know it's unnecessary.
You just like doing the voice, and that's fine.
You can do a different voice.
I do enjoy the voice.
But just have it be you.
Yeah, too.
What kind of recompense do you need?
Two sweets.
Ooh.
Ooh.
And what do we get for two sweets?
I, well, you've already received quite a bit of free help.
Yeah, right.
They call it an earnest payment.
No.
This is the buttercream, friend.
You know that's not the way it works here.
Yes, but I've extended you a great courtesy
by giving you information for free.
In sight, if you will.
Well, let...
One sweet?
Just like, sorry.
One sweet for a job well done is what you're asking for,
so you're negotiating...
Let me see if there's anything else up here,
this incredible steel trap I call a mind.
I'll stroll up to the palace
Inside my mind and see if I could
Find anything else
How about this? Let me ask you this question
When you're on a crew, right
What is your skill set?
Like what's your strong suit?
What's your position on a crew?
Problem solving
Huh
I'm amazing at puzzles
And figuring out problems that people have
Where they can't think of a way forward
He's, this man inverted the Fertrickman, so I will testify to his problem-solving capabilities.
They are considerable.
All right, here, let's do this.
The only fair way, and I take out three dice and hand each of you one of them.
Let's roll to see who's going to pay him.
What are we rolling?
Just a D-6.
He's going to give him a suite.
Well, I got a two.
Dad's just typing.
That's typing a number, I think.
Oh, very dad just typed the words rule D6
Uh, open Likos check Google mail
Ask Jeeves to roll
I rolled a four
I rolled a four
Okay Travis
It's up to you though Travis you want to kick him a sweet or not
It's not
Okay wait no I am Mr. Problem Solver
I have an idea
You find us a way
To get into the used to Ben security area
And you can have two sweet
Oh, I would have no idea even where to start.
That's extremely dangerous work.
Look, this is exhausting.
Okay.
I'll just tell you what I was going to tell you.
Are there others?
Like other friends that are at risk?
Yeah.
Who else have you been in?
contact with because that is the list of people that...
Oh, fuck.
What?
Sorry, we're all cussing a lot in this conversation.
It's mostly because of the sinister nature of your revelations.
Yeah.
Yeah, I can think of someone.
Hmm.
I'm trying to think if there's anything else we can use this gentleman for.
Nothing.
Okay.
Then I should make a suggestion.
Wait, no, hold on.
Griffin just said, oh, fuck, and had a revelation.
and we need to resolve that.
Yeah.
Okay.
Thank you for your time, Mr. Sliver.
You too.
Come with me.
Okay.
What is it?
We have not only worked with Dahlah.
In the past, we have worked with her mere hours ago
when she showed us security camera footage
that she probably shouldn't have.
Oh, shit.
We should probably, at the very least,
go give her a heads up.
And then we can keep rolling merrily along our crimey way.
I think that's an excellent instinct.
I think you're absolutely right.
Did we give him a sweet?
No.
No, fuck that, dude.
Okay, all right.
I said he inverted the fridge.
Like, it doesn't need to be inverted.
So, wait, I need to clarify in this sheet.
You didn't give him a sweet for the help.
Okay.
An interesting choice.
I mean, I would have paid the man.
We rolled bones and everything.
Fine.
I know, no, no, but you've made the decision.
I gave him.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
I don't want a second against you.
No, sheepishly walk over there.
Yeah.
I go, oh, yeah, we got it.
Wait, hold on.
Here you go.
Thank you.
The price doubled because my feelings were hurt.
Okay, how about this?
I'll give you a sweet.
Jesus Christ, with the horse trading.
Just, oh, God.
Okay, here's two sweets.
Jesus Christ.
Wow, that worked.
I can't believe you just did that.
Wait, sorry, I made a trip.
No, that's it.
Bye.
But you are in our debt.
the fuck are you?
Lawrence Talbot, I've already established that.
He's strong.
You can tell by the voice.
We have to go right now.
It is a matter of life and death.
Yeah.
Farewell, slippers.
Did we get, we know that Darla is working a different position now.
Yeah, she works for.
So we probably would not find her in gutter city in the place we know to find her.
Yeah, she, last time we saw her was in used to bed.
doing security show.
So,
Shirley,
there's a police
headquarters,
right?
A security
headquarters?
Did she give her,
like,
does she give us
her number
or any other
sort of way
to contact her?
There was an
active crime scene
investigate.
I mean,
there was an
active investigation
happening in
Eustabin.
And I think
that it stands to
reason Darla
would still be there.
Okay,
we had back to
Eustabin
and try to find Darla.
When you,
you head back to where the investigation had been sort of headquartered out of, they had taken over a room in the rear of sticky fingers pall pantry outside of the accessibility, or the area that is accessible to the public. And so they were in a back office. The room that you knew that they had sort of taken over, you see a
guard standing outside the door, another member of the
customer experience team. Not Garrett Longchance.
No, it's a new guy.
He's the meanest one yet.
And the coolest. Hey, you, what's your name?
Coolest mean? Coolest mean?
Guy. No, sorry, sorry. He asked your name, not the adjectives that one would use to
describe you. Oh, right.
Sometimes when people, I get it, sometimes people ask me my name.
I'm like, oh, charming, debonair.
My name is Guy Meanswell.
Okay. Guy, where's Darla Davis?
She's inside work at work in the case.
Oh, okay. Excuse me. I need to talk to her.
No, no, no, no, no. A, yeah, yeah.
Listen, nobody's getting in to, especially not you three.
Especially, what is that supposed to mean?
No. Yeah, the boss, he gets, you can.
You can see Darla in there.
She's got her head over a table.
She's going over several different files.
Yeah, the, she heard from the higher ups, I guess.
She got a call not too long after you all took off.
And, well, the boss has said that I guess she's not supposed to have anything else to do with you.
And she looks up at you and is like she finally notices.
Who was it that was knocking?
Was that great, you Montrose?
She looks up at you, Montrose, and gives, like, the faintest head shake.
Oh, God.
If she's here, and she's cut off from us that way, is Shrug okay?
Oh, God damn it, we have to go right now.
You wait here.
We're going to be back here in, like, 15 minutes,
and I want you to think about the rudeness you have just displayed.
We have to go born our friend Shrew.
No, okay, fine.
We'll handle it one step at a time.
Do you enjoy working with
Darleney's?
I mean, she's,
I mean, she beats the hell out of my last boss.
Oh, yeah?
Tell me about that.
Hurt.
Hurt does bad was his name.
And he did a lot of bad stuff.
And I'm not a lot to talk about some of it.
But, um,
sorry guys,
I'm kind of distracted by the fact that I have this same voice
as a lot of other people.
that I've met around here.
And it seems strange naming convention.
Yeah.
Is there something you need for me?
I don't know anything.
I can tell you that.
Roll free.
I don't know anything.
But I am very strong.
Yeah, yeah, I can tell that.
Is there a place?
Holy shit, who are you?
Lawrence Talbot.
Hi.
You know what?
We really have come along.
way and are extremely thirsty. Is there a place where you security agents like to hang to, you know,
toss back a couple, you know? Oh, like a brusky bar. A brusky bar, absolutely. Because I need me some brusky.
Yeah, I hear you. When I'm ready to party, there's only one choice for me. Yes. A site off the premises.
Because no alcohol is permitted to us that are.
working currently in Dintonic.
But I bet after we went on your brakes.
We go to a bar far away that no one knows about.
I see.
What about lunch?
Where do you go for lunch?
I bet you have a lunch spot that you go.
You got to eat.
Got to eat, right?
It's almost lunchtime.
You know what?
Sure, we do eat.
Yeah.
Uh, guy.
Guy.
Guy.
Guy.
The point.
Yes.
Guy.
Yes.
I want you.
you to pass up the chain
however you
need to or however to get it
to him. We have information
regarding
Paul Pantry's murder,
but we will only talk to
Kenchell Denton. I mean, I'll
tell the boss, but
I don't know
what good that would do you.
You know, it's not exactly the easiest
guy to get a hold of.
That's fine. I'd like to talk to Gandalf.
I mean, as long as we're making requests.
Well, one of those,
is a real person that exists in this world
and another one is one from
a book.
Right. That's why it was quite of
a metaphor. I was saying, let me slow
down. It's as unlikely
that I would be able to meet a
fantastical sort
of person as it is
that you be able to arrange a meeting
with kids. It's just not a very good. It's just
not a good metaphor is the thing because it's not
if you said I would like
to become best friends with like a
gorilla who helps me solve murder.
that could hypothetically happen.
But meeting Gandalf,
Gandoff doesn't exist.
There's no chance of that, right?
So you see,
that we know of, that we know of, that we know of, right, everybody,
that we know of.
Gandalf doesn't exist that we know of.
Right.
But you know your guerrilla idea would make a great CW series.
We can work on that later.
It was the plot of Fast and the Furious 19.
So it's been, that's old hat.
I say thank you
I say thank you
Of course
Of course, yeah
Come here
And I give him a hug
Wow
Okay
Yeah
It's nice
Thank you
Well you
You means well
All right
So which one of us
Is gonna walk away
I think you three are
In fact
Yes that's it
I'm pretty sure
Oh okay
Yeah
As we get out of eyesight
from him, I say, um, I just, I reached down, I pull out his keycard.
Do you?
Do you?
I reach out.
Do you?
Heard.
Slite of hand roll.
Yes.
I got his key card.
Oh, yeah, flashback to eight seconds ago.
He was such a good slide of hand roll.
He didn't even have to do it.
Flashback to eight seconds ago when I'm hugging him.
And I'm going to try and take his key card.
Okay.
You can roll.
It's a risky and standard.
Can I push it?
Because I didn't let you hug him.
So.
Yeah, you did.
And that's on you.
Now here's the question.
If it fails,
have we broken the time, space continuum?
No, no, no.
I'll come up with something if it fails.
5666.
It crit successes.
Give me that fucking key card.
Yami, yami, yami, yama.
You did actually get his key card.
Yes.
Fuck yeah.
Wow.
I can't believe that worked that way.
And a fiverr.
Wow.
And a fiverer.
I want his fucking wallet.
You know what with a double six?
You got his wallet.
Hell yes.
Is there anything good in it?
From long away.
You guys are out of the building.
And from far away, you're here.
Oh, motherfucker.
We're the fuck three guys.
They've got a double six.
So it's got to be something else.
Motherfucker.
My whole thing.
My fucking.
shit's all in there.
I got a new fucking driver's license.
God dare it.
Let me in.
Hey boss, let me in.
This fucking fuck.
Can't get in.
You don't have a king of gun.
Oh, man.
It's really me.
Fuck.
Maximum fun.org.
Comedy and culture.
Artist-owned.
Audience-supported.
