The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Steeplechase - Episode 31

Episode Date: June 29, 2023

The Pop Patrol cut ties and wrap up loose ends to find favor with the big boss. Beef brings his Beefness to bear. Montrose puts on his business hat. Emerich plans a reunion. Opening monologue performed by Autumn Seavey Hicks: https://www.instagram.com/autumnseaveyhicks/?hl=en Additional music in this episode: "Virtutes Instrumenti" and "Infinite Peace" by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.com/; "A Mysterious Place" and "Charting My Course" by Kirk Osamayao: kirkosamayo.com; "Back in the 80s" and "Hard Mode" by Holizna: https://holiznaroyaltyfree.bandcamp.com/; and "Dissonance" by Lex Villena: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2iwj2SqGnplhDIadeJ5bmy?si=N8WYSKIPR7WUy8z4ajNSog. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Hey, Steepies, I am so excited to bring y'all an exclusive right here on Steepie Watch. My sources tell me that a new exclusive stage show is coming to Gutter City. The Murdering Joke, Hunt for the Funny Man, sponsored by O'Dule's O'ring Lube. Guests will make a group reservation for this attraction, at which point one of them will be kidnapped by Funny Man, forcing the rest of their party to battle through Funny Man's minions in hopes of a daring rescue. Sure, it'll be prohibitively expensive for the vast majority of you, but, well, you know, come on. Never know when to stop dreaming.

It's afraid. Hello and welcome to Stebelchase, an Adventure Zone production. Holy Own and operated by me, Justin McElroy, an independent contractor of the Adventure Zone. This is our podcast about high, high adventure and even higher tower. Is the high adventure Bianca Pear? That's a great question, Travis. I had the same one. Who is Bianca Pear?

That is my original character for a fruit universe that I'm creating? How is that not? I can be Fiona Apple. I think. Oh, fuck yeah, Dad, you can. It's also an incredible drag name that I'm surprised somebody hasn't. I bet you they have. I bet you they have.

Hey, if you all remember. you I'm sorry, I just had to Google Bianca pair real quick. No, Dad, it's right there, bud, time to get out there and drag. Yeah, the arc is logical. It makes perfect sense.

So, was there something you guys needed? Yeah, Kenchell? What? I guess I just have one question. What the fuck? Like, what the fuck? Just one question.

Well, what the fuck kind of encompasses. There's a lot of bullet points under that. I had first murdered Wayne Gretzky. For you. Oh, you. Yeah. That was unfortunate. Wayne will be difficult to, did you, wait, sorry.

You murdered Wayne Gretzky? Did. A brand-mobile real good with a Zamboni. If it helps at all, I think Montresi, it was hard late. I don't think it was. It's still psychologically, you understand. It's still psychologically. damaging.

No, I understand that. I'm just saying that there, I think that the legal ramifications, as far as like how high profile it is, that kind of thing, are a little different. And he has beautiful hard-like children, too. Yes.

Oh, now don't, we don't need to bring that into this. First of all, cancel. Happy birthday. Oh, thank you. Oh, yeah, sorry, yes, happy birthday. Any happy returns. Yeah, thank you. exactly who I wanted to

spend it with, so thanks. Oh, that was sarcasm. That was sarcasm, wasn't it? No, hold on, hold on, you dick. Like, we came here thinking we were about to rescue you from Funny Man. It turned out to be a whole thing, but like, I think a birthday is the

appropriate time to use this little proverb. It's the thought that counts, my dude, none of your other friend, nobody else left that party. There's no, your security details not even here. Like, we came trying to help you and you're being a fucking asshole about it. Yeah, they, they, uh, the other people in my circles, they recognize show.

Oh my God. But listen, listen, listen, you, you have to understand something. Out of the goodness of our hearts, we came to rescue you because our original intent was to confront you and argue with you and, and accuse you of trying to destroy us. And yet, we still rose to the occasion to save you. I see. I see what this is about. Completely, completely get it.

And he reaches into his pocket and he takes out four sweets and he tosses them to you, Montrose. You know we prefer it to be divisible by three. I know. It's my little dig at you guys. It just keeps me. Great. Something for me. It's one for me.

You know what, Justin, so Beef doesn't normally do this, right? He carries himself a little softer. He's a little bit of a soft boy, especially following. his, his, uh, trauma. But he's gonna, like, fully stand to full height, full shoulder width, full, like, imposing beefness and, like, stand over Kenseldon. I think when he brings his full, like, beefness to bear. The full beefness to bear.

Yeah. Yeah, I think that he is, uh, not easy to dismiss. Okay. That's my hoe Okay, well why don't you roll Uh If I could tell you Tell me what you're trying to do first

Yeah, I think my intention is To To Quite literally gain command of the situation Okay Right, I think at this point This isn't about swaying So much as it is like an intimidation tactic

Yeah, intimidate or threaten There you go I'm trying to really drive home of like you are not as in control of what is happening as you think you are. Okay. This is going to be controlled with limited effect. Okay. Can I trade position on that to make it risky?

Meaning risky. Risky for standard? For a standard effect. Yeah. Sure. Does anyone want to help me? Yeah, sure. I don't think I can without really psychologically hurting myself. Oh, no, I have some stress. I'll help you.

I'll stand up really good, too. Wait, wait, wait. How much stress do you have? Me? I'm three shy of trauma. Okay, I still have one foresight where I can help him without taking stress. Fantastic. So I will. May I make a suggestion of how you do that? Yeah.

The circuit breaker's, on my hands start crackling with energy. Ooh. Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah. And he says, yeah, buddy. So I get a mixed success with a four is the best I did.

Still, a mixed success. A mixed success. Okay. With a mixed success, uh, you stand up over Kenchel and with your full towering height.

Beefness, please. Your full towering beefness. And before you can even kind of register it, you see Kinchel's hand on your chest and his right leg behind yours and you are before you can even process what is happening on your back. Holy shit.

And he says, I understand. I get this. I'm going to take you seriously. but I expect the same in return. We are adults and we're not play acting. Okay, then if that's the case, let's be serious for it. Can we be serious now? He extends a hand to help you stand.

Okay, I stand up. Okay. Okay, then let's do that, Kenchell, right? Okay. Let's, for just this moment, treat each other both seriously. Also, in our defense, we were just play acting a whole sort of, um, Batman Joker sort of. I did want to ask you, what did you think?

It's actually pretty good. How was that? I didn't, I haven't done the full experience yet. I've just sort of been in this. I mean, do you want my honest feedback? I would love that. It doesn't make any goddamn sense. Which part?

We fought a bunch of hilly warriors. There was a man just with a pairing knife. Like, I killed Wayne Gretzky with a Zamboni, but it doesn't make sense. Yeah. You need a little more, like, maybe neon in there. and I think you would do well to like add, I don't know,

like an ice level, but listen, none of that matters. I would like to everyone. Emmerk's in the biz. I'd love to hear from him. Yeah, I think you need to introduce the concept of multiverses

so that you could have the funny man from another universe and maybe the deep dark from another universe and then you can have people who used to perform those characters show up in new versions. of it. That sounds kind,

Hey, Emrick, if I may, I'm sorry, man. That's kind of silly, right? If you have a solid story with, like, solid characters, shouldn't that be enough? Well, we did initially have a cameo from Speedy fell up. But the cast member, we got to play that guy. Turned out to just be the worst. Yeah, I heard about that, a real piece of shit. Now, listen.

Rough, rough ride. Kenshal. Still going to let him be. in a few movies, though, I? We're just gonna... Well, yeah, you don't throw the baby out with the bath. This is Hollywood.

Now, hold on. If the baby shits in the bath water enough, maybe think about throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Eventually, you just have to get... You just got to get a new baby, you know? This bathtub

still has resale value, folks. We got to... And if the baby accepts no responsibility for the shit, oh, yeah. Right. How will you learn? I'll be honest, Kenchow, what we need from you, what I need from you is a one word answer.

Yes or no. Have you... No. Okay. No, sorry. I'll wait for the question. Yes. Very good. Have you been sabotaging our efforts and our network as some...

Nope, that's the end of the question because I'm not going to let you loophole your way out of it. One word, yes or no. Have you been sabotaging our network? No. Is that the truth? Yeah. Okay. Oh, sorry, that was me Justin asking, that was me Griffin.

Whoa, holy shit. That was me Griffin asking Justin if that was the truth. Yeah. The truth of the answer that he gave to your question is no. Okay. He hasn't been sabotaging you at all. Okay, because here's the scenario we find ourselves in Kinchin. Once again, taking each other seriously for a moment.

Paul Pantry was a connection we knew, right? Right. Died. Gravel was. connection we had. Yes. Was framed for Paul Pantry's murder. Yes.

I get the impression, by the way, that you did know that she was framed? Yes. Cool, cool, cool. We would love to hear an explanation on that once we're done with this. Darla Davis was the connection we had that has been basically told that we are persona non grata. Mm-hmm. And at this point, we just keep losing connections that we have. Mm-hmm.

And it seems that there is a power operating to separate us from those connections. Yes. And you're saying that you are not that power. No. What I'm saying is that I'm not sabotaging you. I am cleaning up after you. Okay. Listen, you guys are good at what you do, but you have to understand that this is what I do.

I look for inefficiencies. I look for pardon me and I don't mean to be offensive, but sloppiness. And I try to correct that to make the loose ends go away. You have proven yourself to be extremely efficient at what you do, sometimes even ruthless when the time calls for it. But in terms of that clear-eyed efficiency, that closing all the loose ends, tying them up, cutting them off, whatever it requires.

Sloppy. So I value you three. I value what you do. So I'm trying to clean up after you because I want you to be a little bit more permanent part of our family. So I am cleaning. It's not that. I'm cleaning up your loose. ends.

By murdering Paul Pantry. I didn't say that I was doing it in a fun sweet way. That's been more a sort of your all's, uh, M.O. leaving behind friends and people who can identify you on site everywhere you go, lowering your value to me, to the organization. No, I, I am cleaning up loose ends. There is, I think, for a lot of these people, nothing they would, prefer than to die in service of us.

Well, at least that's what I tell myself. It doesn't really matter, does it? How did you generate a hard light projection so realistic that it fooled everyone into thinking that that was gravel? Did it fool everyone? No. Because I don't think it fooled you, did it? Did not fool me?

No. I didn't think so, Emmerich. I didn't think it fooled everyone. I knew that if you paid close enough attention, I knew that he would know. I thought I recognized the technology. It seemed very familiar to. Oh, Emmer, we've been making some really, really exciting advances. And once things are a little bit cleaner.

Oh, my God. And quieter. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. surrounding you three, then I would love to bring you in on some of that. Super exciting stuff. You are going to, if I could be a little crass for a second, jizz in your shorts.

That's awful. That is just awful. Oh, God. So, yeah, I've been cleaning up loose ends. I mean, this is not, let's see. Paul Pantry, yes, killed. But if it makes you feel any better, he was blackmailing you. and that is, I just think

that there's nothing worse than a blackmailer. You know, so that he kind of had coming to and we can all agree on this. Yes. Well, yes, I'm taking the silence as he is. Yes. to the prison colony in old kiddadelphia. So she is fine.

Darla is, can I say, a superstar. And you three deserve some of the credit for that because she would have wasted her talents there trying to unfuck the unfuckable, if I could, in Gunter City. And she is a shining star up here and so much better paid. She seems to be extremely, extremely grateful for the opportunity. So that one's, that's a point.

Plus, I think that at least balances out the Paul Pantry thing. Yeah, but like you did that and then attached strings and qualifications to it. So that's also kind of a power play for you, right? I'll do respect beef. I'm not the United Way. Yeah, I am running. Yeah, I'm just saying don't make it sound like, oh, what a charitable thing I did. I bumped her up and how great.

Buy one pair of shoes, get one pair of shoes, that kind of thing. Yeah, I, yeah, I went there. Okay, so it seems like, Kenchell, you keep hinting around something you're working towards and bringing us into the family and you're cleaning up so that, because you have a big plan or whatever. What exactly are you dancing around? Yeah. I know that that's the question. Absolutely. And I would love nothing more than to walk you all through this.

I need to make sure that you are in 100%. And I am going to take you to headquarters. I'm going to walk you through the whole organization and really bring you into the fold from the inside out. And that's, I have to imagine what you all want, right, on some level. And I, what, Emmerich, as he's talking. Now, I want to know, what's going on in your face, Emerick.

Is it just that? Is it that quick? Um, yes. It's a good gag. I'm just trying to figure out if that's actually what you're doing. You know what I'm saying? Like,

it's, that's, that's the energy I assumed you would have. That's my energy. I pick up the four sweet. I pick up the four sweets. That's nice trap because I was fucking clocking that. I know you were.

I got to think it. He did toss it to Montrose, though, so Montrose did you just let it bounce off. Yeah, just hit me in the chip. chest and tell to the ground. And it winded you, but you tried not to show it.

One of the coins just caught, like, the edge of one of his testicles, which, as we all know, is the worst feeling. I actually just got me. I look at my pockets. I only have room for one suite in there, and then I open up the tiny little purse we use for Poppy's pals finances, and it's full. So I'm like, I actually may need to give you one of these back. Yeah, I open up my pocket. I have my pocket. There's three little slots for coins.

Perfect. I would love to walk you all through everything. Bring you way, way in. But I need to make sure that you all have tidied up after yourselves. And I've taken care of the big things. Obviously, the things that I didn't trust, was worried that might be. No, you said it. Yeah, we heard you.

Okay. You said trust. It's fine. Yeah, you're right now. No sense I'm trying to pretend now. But I need to make sure that you all have cleaned up after yourselves. I don't expect there's anybody you'll need to, you know, assassinate or what have you. But in case you have any loose ends that you need to tie up before we, you know, go a little bit deeper down the rabbit hole.

This would be the moment. Listen, Kenchle, I just want to say, well, I don't always agree with your methods. if you need to kill Poppy from Poppy's place I think we understand he knows a lot He knows so much Cancel

So here's the weird thing About that guy Uh huh We don't pay him Huh And that was confusing to me Yeah He's just kind of there

Yeah And I grilled him Well one of my I mean not me But one of my people grilled him for I mean hours He doesn't know

guys, I mean anything. He has no, nothing has changed as far as, I don't understand, it seems almost an intentional level of ignorance. It's wild.

Truly, truly. Yeah, and we have people on staff that can tell 100% if you're lying or not. This guy's not lying. He has no idea what's going on. It's stunning. Really?

It's like a pro bono job then. Uh-huh. Sorry? It's like a pro bono job to him. Um, that or he just loves the snack bar in the employee lounge. I have no idea. He's never struck me as much of a pro. It's more like amateur bono, really. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Yeah. Like pro bono. Get him. So, uh, I will drop you all at whatever layer, uh, you need. We can take the by rail, known you for sculptor. ging around in the shadows.

I'll drop you off and then once we're ready to hit the road, we'll do just that. I may have an idea of someone that we do kind of need to deal with. I almost hate to bring it up, but...

Okay. I'm all ears. Well, it's... Imagine me missing a loose in that you picked up one. Well, I'm... I mean, it's kind of, it's kind of sensitive because he used to be a friend and a, and a, and a co-worker of mine. Hank Hart? I think it always seems to be, I always have this feeling that he's lurking in the background.

And I did have a rather unpleasant confrontation with him on, on, the sex show, the sex island thing. That is what we changed the name to. Oh, really? The sex island. Sorry, I was confused. TM, TM, TM, TM. You can't do that.

I was confused because we also did do a sex show heist. Yes, we did. From a separate, completely different. I did not realize we had pigeonholed ourselves so specifically. A little predictable, yeah. Hank is doing fine And honestly is excited to get to work with you again, Eric.

Yeah, the two of you cook, what will you cook up? I have no clue, but I'm sure it's going to be. Fantastic. Super excited. Give him my best, please. Oh, absolutely. He'll be thrilled to hear it. So, can I drop you all in used to been?

Yes Absolutely Okay So you're there Oh shit That was fast Kinchel Oh sorry This is me Justin

There was a whole other scene It wasn't very interesting So I left it on the cutting roof for Oh my gosh Hi it's me Dave Holmes Host of the pop culture game show Troubled Waters On Troubled Waters

We play a whole host of games Like one where I describe a show Using Limerick And our guests have to figure out what it is Let's do one right now What show am I talking about? This podcast has game after game

and brilliant guests who come play him. Host is named Dave. It could be your faith. So try it. Life won't be the same. A big business starring Beth Midler and Lily Tomlin. Close, but no. Oh, is it Troubled Waters,

the pop culture quiz show with all your favorite comedians? Yes. Troubled Waters is the answer. To this question and all of my life's problems. Now, legally, we actually can't guarantee that. But you can find it on maximum fun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jay Keith, do you know what I love more than the trivia, comedy, and celebrity guests on our podcast? GoFact Yourself? No, what, Helen? Sharing all of those things with an actual audience. A live audience. Woo-hoo! Well, lucky for you, listeners, GoFact Yourself has brand new episodes featuring live audiences cheering on guests every month. And we still have all of our Zoom episodes with contestants and experts from around the world.

We can truly have it all. Yay! You can hear it all twice a month every month on maximum fun.org or wherever you get podcasts. Yeah, no excuses. So if you're not listening, you can go fact yourself. All right, so we got some downtime business here to take care of. And where do we want to start? Well, so first, we, I believe, have a crew advancement to do because we have two slots left.

and we have basically execute a successful heist. Yeah. We got two, Kenchell. We did that. No, no, that was successful. You got money for it. All good. And contend with challenges above your current station.

I mean, if Wayne Gradsky ain't above our current station. Yeah, for sure. I don't know what it is. Yeah. So that gives us full bars. If I might, my personal suggestion. question is renegades? Because it gives us a plus one action rating to finesse, prowl, or skirmish.

That's a big, that's a big, uh, that's a big bum. Yeah, because there's someone there that are about, like, vehicles, um, and like heat or, there's stuff about ghosts, which we haven't really delved into too much. So I feel like renegades is the way to go. especially since we did a lot of fighting and stuff in that last one. Sure, yeah. I mean, yeah, I can always use more prowl. Does that sound good to hear?

I think it sounds wonderful. I mean, I think it sounds wonderful. The lines are blurring, guys. They have to be careful. Okay, I've added renegades to the sheet. I'm going to take a plus one in finesse. Do you remember that we created the Bring de Ruckus Fighting game?

Yeah. Remember. Yeah. And you remember that it is supposed to give you a plus one if you train on it. Well, no, no, no. That's a different thing. That's, uh, that's for, that's for training. This isn't training.

This is just a, uh, special ability of the crew. Right. But I just want to remind you guys that, that, that, that it exists. Okay. Um, I would like to, uh, that wasn't an action, right? that was just a little bit of business. I would like to go to the futures you and try and finish up my goal of turning it into a gambling hall. But I also realize that in this sort of place we have found ourselves with Kenchell,

us owning and operating a gambling hall in the middle of the sort of criminal, you know, hive of scum and villainy of steeplechase's price. probably not the best idea, not the best look. So I would like to go there, and I would like to meet up with fucking squeaker. No, what's the dude's name with the Rubik's Cube? Slipper. Slipper. Slipper.

Slipper. I would like to have a conversation with Slipper there. Well, then you're going to have to let me open up the Voice-O-Matic 3,000 here. Yeah, sure, of course. And then he'll be right with you. One moment, please. Call for Mr. Slipper. Line three.

Okay, here he is. Hello. How, uh, what? I see your, uh, trying to learn the ZZ method. Yes, I'm having, a problem with the third exposition of the algorithm. There seems to be some bifurcation of the logic patterns around the 28th or 29th turn.

I'm trying to stick with the basic primes, but have found the upper end left faces the most problematic. Yes, it's an advanced technique. When I dabbled in speedcubing, I messed with ZZ a little bit. And it is a tricky one. Hey, listen, Slipper, may I talk to you as a businessman for a second?

Yes, let me take off my Rubik's Cube enthusiast hat. And then he reaches up and he takes off the hat that says Rubik's Cube enthusiast and sets it down the ground. Now we can talk out of his businessmen. I see you have a businessman hat next to you. Are you not going to put that? Yes, I'm slipping it on. Okay, fantastic. It's got a picture of a, it says businessman,

and it's got a picture of like a hand holding a briefcase, and it just says businessman in San Sera Fund. Great. This place means a lot to me. The future is you. It has meant a lot to me my entire life. I have very fond memories. coming here when I was just a child and finding a lot of comfort in this image of a perfect family

that it purports to showcase. It is a little rough around the edges, especially now, but it is a special place, and I can tell by the amount of time you spend here that you are of a similar mind. Am I reading you correctly? Um, well, um, yes. I suppose that there is a certain truth to that, yes. I think that there is a future for this place here and the future is me. Okay. Yeah, you know, I'm sure. I stumbled right into that one. Look, I have been trying to pivot it as an attraction.

And in doing so, I have invited, uh, any number of degenerates into its hallowed halls, which I was uncomfortable with at first, but the opportunity here as a money-making venture seems to be undeniable. But I find myself with a lack of time and energy needed to truly make it what it needs to be. I've gotten it most of the way there, but I need someone with a keen mind, and nimble fingers who can help me out, who can make this place what it should be. And obviously we have not spoken too many times,

but I believe you may be the man for the job. So I am asking you to be the ringmaster here, to help me run this gambling hall, maintain the machines as, as work is needed and of course take a generous cut of the profits. Well, I'm

obviously flattered. It's very touching, honestly. My head is built for puzzles. My heart is not... Perhaps I'm not as in touch with those emotions as I once

was. You know, I... Beyond at some point, I lost myself in the cube, and I started to see everyone as a multicolored facet. Hold on. One second. One second. I take off his businessman hat and put his Rubik's Cube enthusiast hat on. Okay, continue? I wish my, I wish I had but two heads. So I could be both the businessman and a Rubik's cube enthusiast at once. But sadly, this is not to be. I would be, of course, honored to do. on a third cap

as a captain's hat, if you will, of this particular landborn vessel. We call the future is you. Well, I might dittle around with the name once I'm behind

the reins. I haven't, I don't want to rush into anything. I, I, I trust your judgment, Slipper. You're the only person who does. So I want to roll. I didn't want to reveal that until this moment.

The tour is. All right. I want to, yeah, I want to roll to finish up this project. I want to roll to finish the futures gambling project. All right. So I'm guessing that's the sway. It's like you've got two more segments of this. Yeah.

Yeah. Let's call it sway. That makes sense. Okay. I'm just going to do this straight up. I believe in you. Sweet. Finish the fight.

Oh, no, 1-1-3. I mean, it's, I see he is unconvinced, and I say, um, if I give you a dollar, if I give you a dollar, will you do it? One dollar, you say, hmm. You mean a sweet? Yes. sweet. Honestly, it's kind of crass.

I thought we were having a very special moment there, but I can tell that you need it. No, I understand, but I put the business man. You got to eat. Oh, damn it, I should have seen this coming. I think that's fair. Okay. He puts it in your hand, and after he, after you put it in his hand, he reaches behind the door and says, you see the light switch is here.

And then that the project is completed. You just couldn't figure out where the switch. was. It is now done. I'm thinking this is a, like a side business, right? Like, this is a... Yeah, that makes sense. I know we have sort of been fast and loose with the turf sort of stuff, but there is a side

business sort of thing here that grants coin and downtime. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. And I think if, yeah, I'm going to just give you a little check. Check mark there. Great. Yep. This is awesome.

That is not, that is not, that is part of the, the thing. I mean, yes, it's marked on the map. It's part of the mechanics, folks. We're not just making this up. No. And I'm going to take a minute and walk over to the family after I've sort of gotten him situated. And I say, Ma, Paul, little sis. Well, there's my special boy.

I'm glad to see you. Yeah, listen, Mama, I'm not going to be able to come around quite... You're breaking my heart! Quite as... I am very sorry. But I hope that I have left you all better than I have found you. Well, hell, I got you a dog, didn't I? And I pointed the fucking, like, crooked-headed, sparking, dire hound gurf that I have sort of

Very clumsily built into the display. And your brother shambles up to you. That's my dog. That's my dog. That's my dog. That's my dog. That's my dog. It is, boy. May small cards. May small cards. That's my dog. Okay. Yeah. Well, champ, what sport? What takes you away? What business do you have sport? That takes you away from the bosom of your family.

Did you say Buzum? Bessum! You know, like bubs! I'm so glad that everything we've done up to this point has led to Justin saying Buzm. He's the world to me. I am merely trying to manifest what you have been telling me, without knowing it, perhaps, my entire life. You know, this is head.

starting to slip off its stem. Hold on. I push it back on. The future is me. And I have to go and greet it. And I shake his hand. And I give the top half of mom a big hug. Pet the two kids on the head.

Very, very, very, very gingerly pet Gurf the dire hand on the head. And walk out. Montrose? Yes. No son of mine will ever be a couple. Tommy? No, that's not. All right.

I'm going to roll to relieve stress. That's four. I'm taking off. Great. It's a good one. Too stress. And that's it for my stuff. I'm going to go to the Booter Cream.

And I'm going to place a bet with the gamblers. Do you pass me on the way out of the future is you gambling hall? Or is this taking place somewhere else? Yeah, if the Futures You Gambling Hall is open and it's become a hub for all kinds of gambling, be it table games and sports gambling, then yes. It's like 40 minutes later, and it's just fucking, it's a Dave and Busters in there.

It's unrecognizable. I'm going to go out to the sports, you know, table. I say sports, but it's like all of the, like, book, you know, they got some wild bets off here, days. I want to put a bet down on whether or not Kenshal is fucking with us. And I'm going to bet that he is. That's, I want to know what the odds are. Justin, what would you say the odds are? What are the book he's put down? Yeah. No, thank you. Sorry, sir. No? No, it's weird. They look at you like, oh, it is Kenchel. Oh, you know what? Here's what it is. Here's what it is. Here's what it is.

Okay, okay, okay. I want to place a bat on which Denton, I think, is going to end up being the one in control by the end of the fiscal year. Okay. That's good. I was good to say your original plan actually, Travis, creates a lot more loose ends. You actually are taking a pretty tightly knotted end and fraying it in so many wonderful directions. and I want to Do you want to tell Griffin and Travis

but not me? Griffin and dad? I will take my headphones off and not listen so you cannot sway me. Okay, Justin, I'm Travis. Yeah. You mean Griffin and Clint, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Griffin and Clint.

Sorry, I just get so wrapped up in a lot of these characters. I don't know. It's your idea. Who are the Dentons? I know there's Kenchell, the sister. Uh, the dumbass. Oh my God, I gotta get my whole sheet out. Hold on.

Carmine Denton was the dad. Right. He dead. Not the dad. I mean, he was the founder, but several generations of past. There is Kenchell. Evelyn is running it now. Devin is.

Devin is Evelyn's dumbass son. Uh-huh. Who is next in line because Evelyn was born. a few minutes older, a few minutes before, uh, Kenshal's dad. Great. Um, Edgar. Okay, great.

Is there a Dr. Denton? What? No. Not related. Yeah. There may be a Dr. Denton on earth, but not in my game. Gotcha. Dr. Denton makes, take your headphones off, Juice.

Okay. Yeah, I'm going to put, uh, three, three suites down on on Devon. Yeah, I think it's the longest shot and I wanna make money. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Okay, I'm done, Justin.

Okay, Justin. We're done, Justin. Yeah, we're done. All done. Okay, great. Now I'm gonna roll to relieve stress. Four, okay. So there's that.

What do I wanna do? Wait, where does that put me down to? currently has seven stress that puts me down to four yet I don't want to roll again um while I think of my second thing dad you go um I want to finish the fake kenschel long-term project um because if I'm gonna if I'm gonna use it now's the time yeah but you've got you've only done three segments of that I know I got to fill five um are you need Both your actions? Can I...

Well, let me try with one first. If you crit, you can do it in that. If I quit, I fill it. Yeah. Why is that even part of the conversation? I mean, that's like, if you get the winning lottery ticket, then you'll be rich. Like, yeah, I absolutely, but like, is that part of our calculation that there's a chance that dad will pull this off? Well, because if that pulls off, because if he doesn't, he can use both of his...

You can use both actions. You can spend coins to... Sure, yeah. You guys have got a lot of options here. All right, so I'm going to do that. I'm going to... I'm going to push myself, and it's a tinker roll, correct? You can't push yourself on a roll, on a long-term project.

Okay, but how can I get extra... How can I buy extra dice? You cannot. You can only spend money to improve the result. You can improve... If you get a six here, Dad, you can improve it to a... You can spend a coin. to turn it critical.

So you have a lot of options here. Okay. All right. You roll a six. Just roll. Okay. Tinker roll. Controlled?

Yeah. It's not, you don't have those. The position doesn't matter. You're on something like this. Oh, okay. Okay. Five, four, five. I can spend one suite to push up to six.

Can I spend another suite to push up the others to the others to a six? No. Okay, with one six, I can fill three, correct? Yes. Okay. Then I'll push one of those fives up to a six. Okay. Which will give you three segments, correct?

Now, hold on. It does say increase the result level by one for each coin spent. Is that what it says? Yep. So he could spend two coin. Okay. All right, take it back, Dad. You could take, you could do two to, to finish it right now.

Okay, that's what I do. Okay, Dad, you have now in your possession a fake kenshal. Can you say what it looks like to make a kenthal? What does it take to make a kentzel? Me? Or dad? Well, I think it would be a representation. And remember, this is you.

using the technology that we either acquired or found or whatever that makes it look so realistic. That's been the project all along was to make an incredibly realistic looking kensual, not just a hard light figure that, you know, people recognize as a hard light, but that it would be, I mean, down to the pores of the skin and everything else, the most realistic kensual and a nice open face. collared shirt and, you know, suit, you know, kind of a laid-back shark tank look. Sure.

Yeah, laid-back shark tank. Like a Mark Cuban. And so I think... Shark Cuban. A shark Cuban. To kind of put a pin in it. Hey, guys, video game pitch. Wait, hold on.

Video game pitch. Right? A game in winch, Mark Cuban, is on a tube, like a river tube, but he's an engine. chase my sharks, and we call it Shark Tubin with Mark Cuban. Shark tube is really good. Thank you. The next game in the darkade. Yep.

So his wristband now has a series of prisms along it. Okay? Okay. Because he now has the capability to create six different hard light recreations. Griffin, we can't let him snap where it's all over. Kenchal, Eustace, Raul, Scott Boldflex, Hard Doug. You do not have Eustis. Eustace's works at Prize Pantry.

You can't steal Eustace. He's an employee of the company. Okay. Okay. And then Raul was sinewant, he is the same thing. Yes. So he has four. Hard Doug, Scott Boldflex, Kenchell Denton,

and a mystery long-term project that he's. saving it. Okay. Fucking Pokemon fucking Ash Ketchum over here. Now, let me, let me argue one more thing. Sure.

That was a lot of hard work, correct? A lot of hard light, more like. Yeah, but I mean, he put a lot of work into that. Would you not say that that was acknowledging his vice? Yeah, because we did the other one in one action. I will say that you were, you can dovetail those. I think that makes sense.

to me. So I think that you could take a stress relief roll off of that. And that's just a standard roll. Right? Right? Four. Okay, so it takes four stress off. Right?

Yes, correct. So is that it for me? How does it determine how many? Because Griffin rolled two dice when he... Yeah, you click indulge vice. It does it. for you. Oh, yeah, Dad, click indulge vice. Oh, okay. Okay. Um, so does that mean, I'm trying not to be so obtuse about this. Sure. Does that, since it was related to my work,

are we counting that as my second action? Yes. Because it is. Yes. But only, that's the only reason we're doing it is because it definitely is. Okay. And then, let me, don't you dare put another booleen on there, Mac? No, go ahead. No. I got, no. No. No. No, I have to ask you this. I have filled the playbook advancement. Okay. You just do that. Yeah, just do it.

Okay, well, then I am taking GhostVail. Oh. You're not using GhostVail, right? Montrose? No, why the fuck would I use? I have Ghost Voice, but that's not. Okay. I did level up and take Rook's Gambit, which is a separate ability.

How many do you guys have? How many special abilities? I have four now. Yeah. Okay. I'm taking Ghost Vail. and I want to do an amended version of it since we're... Of course. Why should...

Yeah, why would be straightforward? I love you, Pop. Because I think it makes it too... Merle, at the end of balance, powerful, if he could shift into an insubstantial form. I don't think that's... I think that breaks the game a little bit. Yeah. So I think it's just going to be...

Not only does it break the game, I would say it breaks the laws of physics that we have existed in this game. Exactly. Exactly. So invisibility by using... using a hologram skin or whatever that he can be invisible for a couple minutes. If that's okay with it. Now this is, there are some limits on this.

Right. It takes two stress to do. Right. And then you can take an extra stress for it to last longer. But that, I feel like that's a fair thing. You guys are okay with that? Yeah, I think that it makes sense. How long does it last?

That actually, through your hard light work, that actually all tracks for me. It feels, it feels very apropos. Yeah, it does the whole predator thing of using a hologram to project what is behind you. Right. So it looks so you're invisible. And how long does it last? A couple of minutes, it says. It doesn't really specify.

It says a few minutes. Okay. I'm going to go to, I mean, I'm going to go get patched up. But it's not really, I just need to go to like a spa or something to rest because I have a pulled tendon and a smash nose that I need to recover from. I just need like a me day. I've been to some spas before. They don't usually see to my nose. Yeah, that's not I'm going to focus on the tendon thing.

Because actually the smash nose, I think it's going to add to beef's overall beefness. When that heals, if that heals with a little bit of a swell, that's fine. Great. Give me a little bit of that Owen Wilson look. But I need to go with the pulled tendon. So I'm going to go to the buttercream spa. Justin.

Okay. You know the spa is in buttercream? Buttercream Spa. The spa that's in buttercream. What's that called, Justin? Remind me. What? The buttercream spa.

What's it called? What's the spa and buttercream? The buttercream spa. Yeah, what's it called, though? What's everyone call it? Yeah, that one is called the... Mm-hmm. Hot pool.

The hot pool? But it's spelled P-U-E-H-L. Mac, don't plus it. Don't plus it, Mac. It's called the hot pool. Hot pool. It's the hot pool. It's called the hot pool.

Okay, I go to the hot pool. Okay, you get inside? The hot pool? How hot is that? I dip a toe. Are you just dip a toe? I just want to see how hot it is. I don't want to be boiled beef.

It's fucking freezing. I am sorry about that. The heat has been off today. I apologize. Who are you? Are you the pool? I'm Mr. Pool. I operate the hot pool, and today's a little clearer than I like it.

Okay, well, I didn't like... Did you come in first of all? I'd be happy to soothe your aching muscles. Sure, you seem like a normal guy. Let's do this. Back right, please. It's a pleasure. To meet a customer, and he starts fiddling around, putting on, like, gloves

and putting some sort of cream on his... I love it. This looks great. Inside the gloves. Yeah. My name is Derigible. Deregible? Deregible pool?

Dereigible pool Who do I have the pleasure of an acquaintance? My name is Beef Punchley. Yeah, yes. I should have known. You look like a beef. That's the physical. I see.

You say I look like a beef? Where is the muscle pain seem to be the sharpest? I have a pool tendon right about here. I point to it. Yes, that's excellent. And then

He's rubbing. Yeah? In a good way? No, he's rubbing your back. He's doing like a pretty good job. But he doesn't seem to be particularly expert at it. And he leans down. You work here, right?

I meant to. He leans down close to here. He leans down close to your ear. Mr. Denton wanted me to ask you how tying up loose ends involves introducing yourself to new people. What? Mr. Dendon Should I give a fake name? How

Sorry, what? Should I have given a fake name? He says Fucking anything Would have been Preferable To introducing yourself to new people Okay, my name is

Keefe scrunchly Is it too late? He said it's too late Oh, fuck, okay Okay I'll work on it I work for the organization So you should be

Fine Did you want me to finish The massage? Yeah You're doing a great job. As long as I'm here. Well, I'm going to better the squeeze. The better the squeeze?

The better the squeeze, the better the juice. That's what I say. Jesus Christ, set it long. Just fucking. Many years. What's this guy's quality level? What? Seven.

Holy shit. That's really good. You can't even roll this guy. He's one of the best. No, he's fine. It's a fine massage. It's fine. Well, to roll the bones on.

I'm going to roll a number of D6. According. Yes, he is quality level one because he is not a massage therapist. He is an employee of Dentonic. Okay. But yeah, you're still going to get your massage, though. I got five. Hey.

Well, you know, that's not bad. Yeah. And worse. Bump harm levels down one level. You clear one lesser harm. You can move a moderate harm down one to fill the spot. Oh, no. I had two lesser harm.

So you get rid of one of them. I'll get rid of my pulled tendon. That works great. I'm just checking here. Hold on. You can also spend a coin if you want to get rid of both lesser harm. I'm going to spend a coin.

I'm going to spend a coin to clear all lesser harm. Yeah. So bump it out up to six. Yep. I'm going to spend a coin, bump it down. He has a job. and here's what it is, if I may. You may.

Not a licensed massage therapist, right? So the penit is done. And then, like, accidentally just kind of clockes my nose as they're reaching around, knocks it right back in place. Beautiful. I'm sorry about that. What is it like to have no harm? Because I don't think that's...

Ever since I swallowed the pen, I think I've always been a little bit... It's been on a downward slope for you since Santa Ana Grove. Yeah. Well, I would say Griff that as a character who... whose vain job is get hit and hurt people. It is a little more important for me. I got you. But can I say,

I as a human being, have reached an age where I don't know what it's like to not have any sort of just. A little bit of harm. A harm all the time. If I sleep wrong, half my body hurts. So I don't know, man.

For sure. Sounds nice. And just like that, just then all loose ends are braided together. I don't think I left anything left on the table. Yeah, I fire Benson. Oh, yeah. So that you jettisoned Benson into the void.

I AOL instant message with the creaky man and delete him. Easy. Delete all files. No, I think we give Benson a position at the future is gambling. Fuck no. Okay. No fucking way. That dude's a fucking clown.

There's no way. Oh, you guys had a project. you were going to fix Benson and then you It has two segments out of... I'm looking at the clock right now. It's called Benson fixing. Yeah, listen. We made it an eight-clock, an eight-segment clock

because he's so fucking unsalvageable as a person. I think we all look at that project and we look at Benson and we say... And also, Justin, frankly, I think it's realistic because just the idea of like, yeah, we finished every project. Come on, man. Look around your own house and tell me that that's true of you. I'm going to send Benson over my best friend James DeBart. and say, here's an intern.

Please try to... I'll pay a little note to Benson's shirt that said, this is Vincent. Please try to make him leave him better than you found him. He's an unaccompanied minor. Please take good care of him. I'll call you when I'm done. Your best friend, be punchy.

All right. So you all are... You're not abandoning the arcade, your secret arcade within Poppy's place. It'll still be... You all have worked too. hard for this to be like something you're leaving behind. I think you're just sort of like gathering some

stuff for the trip or what have you. Yeah. And it's the morning of your assigned departure and you hear a little lock on the door. Oh, okay. Boys. Boys, good morning. I just wanted to see if you were

sure about this. I'm really going to miss having you three around Poppy's place. Don't like, boys. He knocked. He's talking to. He can I made you shrewk-shaped pancakes like you like. If we stay totally silent, he will just leave. Those are good pancakes.

We're not in here, Poppy. No, we're not. I put cinnamon chips in them. Cinnamon chips? Fellas, come on. Wait, like, sorry, hold on. I open the door. Like, hunk some cinnamon, like just cinnamon, like a cinnamon stick that you chopped up?

What are you talking about? No, is there like butterscotch or chocolate chips, but the imbued with a cinnamon flier. Gross. Cinnamon check. I will not have an emotional moment with Poppy. I won't. I will hide in the bathroom if you let that man back here.

Well, I have to go get my shots, so I'll leave these outside the door. I listen for him to walk away. Okay. He doesn't. You hear him pretending to be walking away noises. But you're not, but Montrose isn't fooled. Montrose knows right. that those are pretend.

You step outside with your belongings and on top of whittle around, is that what it's called? Yeah, yeah. On top of whittle around, you've always sort of wondered about it. It's oddly like... Justin, before we go, I'm going to set a little breakcrum here to flashback to you later. I assume here you used to been there's like...

Post office boxes. There's, you know, mailboxes. Yeah. Yeah. I drop a letter into one of those mailboxes. Okay, great. Fun. Cool.

And before we leave, before we leave, Emric has a sign that he has constructed. You know, the signs that they hang, you know, when a ride's being worked on or it's temporarily shut down. He's going to hang it on the door. And it says, just step back and you will see what used to been

is going to be. be. Oh, that's great, Dad. I love that. Pappy pops out and he's like, well, the main arcades still open. That's great. Okay. And then you see a small

plane, what appears to be a small plane with large propellers, not just pointed forward, propelling the plane forward, but they pivot so that they're lowering slowly. A standing lift off? V-T-O-L, V-O-L.

Yeah, this is a, there is a, we actually, they use the term STOL. There are in each of the layers what the people in the company called stallports. You very rarely see them used, but these are used for short trips between the layers, just by the executives. It is a third method of conveyance, not the, you all use the undercarriage or some of the holes, between the layers, the common folk use the byrail and the executives have come to use the stall ports to get to get around. So you see a larger STOL land than you have typically seen around before. And it's very rare that you see them. This is the largest one you've ever seen.

and they're wearing his like headphones as the door opens is Kenshal Denton. He's ready to take you all to what's next. Come on guys, come on aboard. Welcome. You don't have to ask me twice.

Welcome. You can if you want to. You can ask me twice if you... This is a really short trip. Can I get you guys anything? Ginger Al. We have executive, well, service on all the STOLs.

Gingerail or Biskoff cookie. Gingerail of Biskoff for the good guy here. All right, absolutely. Montrose, can you get anything through the masks? How do you eat? I'm gaming. Listen, I got my Game Boy out. Don't talk to me.

Sorry, can I clarify, are you gaming inside the mask? Like, is the mask the display from the inside? No, I'm holding a fucking Game Boy Advance. Okay. Don't talk. I got it. I never get a chance for this. And I prep some games.

Also, Justin, we're like 30 episodes in. You can't start asking Griffin how Montrose sees now. Yeah, I guess that's true. Emmerg, anything for you? Anything for you, Emmerich? Do you have one of those nifty magazines that sit in the flap in the back of the seats that tell all about, you know, what's going on in the world of Dentonic?

I got a highlights that our CFO's kids left in here. Oh, goofus and gallant, yes. There you go, and he tosses it your way. All right. Buckling up. Timbertoes, you are a delight. Buckle in, guys. It's time for takeoff.

And he sits down and straps in his seat. I assume you three do the same so you don't die. Yeah. Click. And then with a rush, this thing just catapults into the air. And you see it zip outside of Eustbin. And it's not going far. It's circling for the first time you see the exterior of steeplechase.

And it's weirdly nondescript, these big light projections where the light is being reflected back out. So no light can come in from the outside world. It looks almost like they're using obviously some sort of hard light technology, but it's made it reflective of the world outside to render it, not invisible, but it is not the imposing structure from the outside. It looks like waves of light being bent around themselves. And you're starting to spiral around steeplechase. And you notice you're going down to the lower level where steeplechase starts to expand.

You're getting into some of the early layers at this point. And as it circles the tower going lower and lower and lower. And then you see in one of the ripple, of light, a small opening that the STOL slips through and beneath you out the windows you see

what appears to be just desert, just blasted land, some structures dotting the landscape, but mainly it is a wasteland. And it's just about when you see this wasteland outside that you notice,

the floor has dropped out from beneath you. You're falling, tumbling. The wind whips around your ear. You look up and you see Kenshal, Denton, waving. You're maybe a hundred yards up when you're jerked skyward by the tug of a peritone. of a parachute that has been attached to the three of your

ejected seats. The three of you are not as slowly as you would like, but slower than you were. Tumbling, falling towards the ground. You hit with a hard thud

Montrose, you blackout. Emric, you're cast off the side of a dune. And then a beef, you are lying flat on your back. It's so flat and stunned that you are caught completely by surprise when a grizzled hollow man

looks over you and says, give me a juice boxer, you're dead. You realize with a tremor that you are now prisoners of old kiddadelphia. Maximumfund. Comedy and Culture. Artist-owned.

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