The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Steeplechase - Episode 38

Episode Date: September 21, 2023

The gang seek the help of an old frenemy to stop the Bob Davis and those aboard. Beef tests his negotiation skills. Emerich gets crafty. Montrose blogs about it.Opening monologue performed by Autumn Seavey Hicks: https://www.instagram.com/autumnseaveyhicks/?hl=enAdditional music in this episode: "(Ambient) Fluer" and "(Ambient) Breath" by Kirk Osamayao: kirkosamayo.com; "A Rainbow in the Sewers" by Dilating Times https://www.tommasocroce.it/; and "Be Cool" by Mr. Smith: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/mr-smith/. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Hello, friends, it's me, Crystal with a K, and I just want to say an apology for my lengthy absence. It has been two and a half days since my last post, and I just want to say the many, many calls placed to my local police department were completely unnecessary. I just needed a break. You know how it is sometimes, girlfriend. I just realized, hey, I'm occasionally critical of the Dentonic Corporation when I'm. really owe them so much. Everything. Really. And it really puts things into perspective, all things. So it's a new day, kids, my Ohana, my fam. If you're looking for any more negativity on this channel, I hope you never know when to stop dreaming. Hello, welcome back to

steeplechase, our fair adventures, the Pobby's Pals, have just... Is that still the net? I mean, we're almost 40 episodes in. Yeah, we need to... Okay, great. So, let's drill down on something soon, right? Is that fair? Yeah, well, yeah, yeah. We'll lock in something, but for right now.

Yeah, we have just... You've just made it to the Bob Davis, the rocket. You've just been informed by Harriet Reimann, the lead science officer. in T-minus six hours. It's going to be blasting off on a mission to go rescue the parents of the children, former children, now adults, of new Kidadelphia and specifically New Glenville, where you find yourselves now. Justin, can I push back on one thing?

And I'm sorry, I don't want to change your autistic vision, but you named the rocket Bob Davis because you're like everything here. I didn't. Yeah, they did because everything in the grown-up world is boring. But I would posit that sometimes the most boring, uninteresting people in the world try to name their rockets the coolest shit, like Falcon 9 or Dragon or Falcon Heavy. You know what I mean? Very. Because I think the most boring thing you could do is name a rocket a cool thing.

That's, wow, that's really makes you think, doesn't it, Trave? Yeah, really? Doesn't it? Hey, you've done it. You solved it. Now you're the game master. Good job, Traff. You solved my puzzle.

I've done it. You've killed. God. Yeah. Finally. QED. God no longer exists. And that about, what is it?

Douglas Adams says. And that about wraps it up for God. Um, Miss, Ms. Mr. Ryman? Just, just Mary. Uh, just Harriet.

Harry. Thank you. Harry. Um, so we are on earth. That's the end. Sorry, it probably sounded like there was more of that sentence,

but it is a pretty, um, Uh, like, it's a factual statement. We are on earth. We are on earth. This is earth. Try it. Uh, maybe, wait, sorry.

Uh, try it with more downward inflection. We are on earth. We are on earth. Welcome to earth. We are on it now. Third rock from the sun. Yes. As far as we know.

I do not know why. That's literally the whole thought. So, um, yes. Um, so we are on near earth. This is a satellite near Earth. We don't know how we ended up here. We know that our parents are as near as we can figure trapped on Earth in the steeplechase Park. There is a wormhole of some sort that is a one-way path.

And we are going to use the Bob Davis to travel home. to our parents. Okay, but Harriet, yes. Is it possible that this wormhole is more like a, like just a whole hole, that opens up and they dump trash in and actually we're just like one floor below, like we're in the basement of Steeblechase? It is, I will admit, many of our brightest minds came to the,

those same conclusions, um, uh, early on before, uh, the nanof father, uh, helped us,

uh, to, to understand the truth of our, our, our situation. Um, so luckily, uh,

for, for many years, we've been researching this. Uh, everything checks out. Um, and we are so excited to finally, um,

to get home. Um, obviously we can't send everyone at first. Just a small, a small contingent. They're true heroes, I would say. Clara, let me... Harriet, Harriet, would you say that a majority of the populace here in New Glenville

is in support of plan, or is this kind of a Jorel of Krypton scenario? It has been absolutely a community effort. We are all united in this working in lockstep, which is a nice change of pace, honestly. For a long while, there was so much infighting. But we're very much united in this. If you'll excuse me,

I understand what an exciting time. This must be for you to learn all of this, but I do have quite a bit more. Of course, Harry, just before you go, one quick question. How long have you been here in New Kididavia in this near earth? How do you mean? Like how many years? We don't so much track them specifically.

I have a sense. Maybe 40? Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I was just curious. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Thanks. I'm so glad you're here. I would love to spend some more time. catching up after the launch. You have checklists to check. We understand. When is the launch?

16 minus 5 hours and 55 minutes now. Great. If we wanted to find audience with the nanofather, where would we go for that? Oh, he is already on board. He is our navigator. So he is already finishing his checks on board of Bob Davis. We have traveled a great distance and at great cost. to speak to the nanofather.

I was wondering if we could possibly have a conversation with him before he departs this near-earth realm. And just because there is a ceiling to this layer, I would say this mortal coil as well. Would that be possible? It's not a ceiling. Yeah. That, it is a projection.

We thought that for the longest time. It is a projection. The atmosphere is generated, and that is what you see above you is an illusion to try to. It was installed to protect us. But we think we're ready to take that next step. I'm so sorry. I do have to get back to the door. Okay, yeah, we're just going to step on to the Bob Davis and talk to the narrow father.

No, I'm sorry, I can't allow that. No, I understand that. But see, we're recent from Siebel Chase. So before he returns. You start to, I will say this, you start to notice some other employees of the silo, some of which appear to be not necessarily working as much as they are to sort of keep an eye on things. Starting to take notice of this situation. And you notice Harriet starting to make eye contact with some of them as you continue.

Are any of them bigger than beef? There's a lot of them. Are any of them bigger than beef? Nobody's bigger than beef, Tray. That's what I was looking for my dude. Beef, uh, loudly announces, unless you want this project to fail and never make it back to Earth, you will let me on to talk to the Nanofather.

And I'm commanding that shit. Who are you commanding? The room, Justin. The room. Okay. I'm commanding the room. Okay. with beef's elocution training.

All right. You know, what's the, what, what situation do I find myself here, Justin? This is desperate, limited. Okay. I'm going to push myself, you see. And we'll see how this goes. A six, a two, and a five. But there's a six in there, Justin.

There is a six in there. Okay. So you're commanding an entire room of people. Yes. Okay. Age 78. Now it does have limited effect, so let that play on. Okay.

I would, if I could. I understand the warmth of his presence. Really, I think that it is not a good time now. But I am convinced, but I think everyone else is a little less, more suspicious. I'm sorry, I wish there was something I could do. Okay, how about this, Harry? You must have some kind of like calm system, right?

So that you could speak to the people on board. Yes, but again, they are extremely, extremely busy on there. Of course. I don't, I don't, I would much prefer to not, to not bother them, please. Yes, yes, with science and all is a precarious process where we will receive. that I suppose we'll catch up with him on the next planet. A shame because again, we did travel a great distance at a great cost to come.

Okay, okay, okay. Here's what I can do. A little closer to launch, I'll let you talk to him. This is not the right time, but later, once some of these preparations are complete, they're about to send the crew off at the ceremony downstairs, And then, oh, of course. Sure. After that, is that, is that okay?

And I am a technician of some renown. So if there's anything I can do to help with those preparations, please let me know. And which way to the ceremony? Just straight outside the silo. There's a dais there that they've built. Perfect. You should see a crowd gathering.

Oh, awesome. Okay, great. Thank you so much, Harry. Outside, do you guys head outside? Yes. Can we have a moment? Just the three of us. Please, take a moment.

Yeah. You're near the door of the silo away from the people staffing it, but not quite making your way outside yet. You do see through the door a crowd of people starting to gather at a sort of like rudimentary stage. Fellows, I'm... Climatry is really not my strong suit, but if they launch a rocket... Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. thinking they're making an interplanetary trip

and it's really just going through a garbage hole, you know it's doomed, correct? Yeah. I mean, we may be tempted to want to be on the Bob Davis, but I think if they carry out their plan, everyone on the Bob Davis is going to be killed. Can I tell you, I'll tell you what's kind of fucking with me. Um, everything we've heard up till now about a turdmaster slash nanofother is that he's incredibly smart.

And why would he do this? Yes. I will also say just to check in, guys, because you know, I wouldn't say I'm like the most scientific smartest dude, even in the three of us, obviously. I would say you're the least. Okay, but we definitely didn't go through a wormhole to get here, right? Like, we got on a helicopter and then he, like, kicked us out. We didn't go through a wormhole, right? Physical hold, yes.

Okay, I'm just, that's what I thought, and then a bunch of people around us seemed very sure that that wasn't true, and it was starting to, like, cook my noodle a little bit, you know? Oh, you have to rise above that. This entire level has been, this layer has been awfully topsy-turvy from the moment we arrived. But I beseech you to please cling on to the sweet sanity of the layers above as we continue this job. Fellows, why don't, I wonder if it would be possible. I mean, even though we can't have entry into the rocket, if I'm, we may be served by me, maybe checking out the rocket from what we can see outside to.

I love that. I love that idea. Study it. You know, there's nothing else to determine its powers. source perhaps or the rocket tree. Yes. You really, wow, you really, this is not your field, is it? Well, no, but I think I have a little more expertise in it than...

Absolutely. We got about five hours in change to get this thing done. I believe I'm going to go inspect the rocket to see how much of it I can tell from that side. Speaking of retaining the sanity of the upper layers, let's also remember our core competency is like sneaky crime. Yes. So them being like, you can't go on there. It's like, oh, okay, cool. Great. Not an issue. Yeah. All right. Let's go watch some ceremony. Thanks, everybody, for coming out. I'm Bob Gurry. You all know me. You're, you're so cool to see you. Working harder. Hardly working.

Oh boy, Bob! It's a big day today. No more time for fiddle faddle. Thanks for being here. Thanks for gathering, of course. You see on the dais, there's a man with a sort of rudimentary megaphone made out of cardboard. And there are three people there who are in what looked to be pretty nice, like suits, space suits. with the big helmets and what all.

They're behind, they're already suited up. They've got the helmet with the shielding on and what have you. And the three of them are standing up on the, the dais. Mark Gurr, I'd like to just, you all know them. We love them. But one more sort of time, I'd like to introduce you all to the sort of pioneers of New Glenville, who are going to be out there to find our mommies and daddies. And we're all, you know, all of our prayers and our dreams and our wishes are riding with them.

First up, here's our lead scientist, Harriet Ryman. You know her. Where is Harriet? Is she still? Okay. All right. They're telling me she's busy and they're working on things. So let's skip right over to your captain.

Hey, everybody. I'm Herb Baxter. I'm the captain of the Bob. Davis. As you all know, my brother did have Microsoft flight simulator when I was a kid. So I've never, never quite let me take the yoke, but I have watched over his shoulder many times. So I feel ready to lead this mission to victory. Justin? Yeah. Captain Baxter.

How would you compare his physical stature to say the three of us? Are you just taking the measure? How come beef wants it? Beef is feeling very, very insecure this episode. I know where he's going. This is less about fighting and more about the spacesuit size. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It would not fit you.

It would probably fit Emory. Okay, got it, got it. Also, is he more musley than me? No, but he's mostly than you. Could I outbench him? Me, Travis. Sorry, not me. You could out bench.

You could bench off anybody, Travis. Does he even lift, bro? Yes, very good. That's very topical and good. Back to the adventure. Next up, we got our communications officer. Yes, hello. I'm Mary Road.

Thank you so much for choosing me. As you all know, I'm excited about communications. I'm a big reader. I love my mysteries and my J.P. my James Patterson's. And I'm just very happy to help. Going to find these mommies and daddies and going to be very exciting. Hopefully this will be the voice that's telling you about our mission success. So thank you again. I will die for her. And lastly, everybody, we'd love you to meet our a little bit more of a new arrival.

Maybe even a stranger to some of you all, but we're so excited to have her on the team. Our chief security officer. And then he looks at the card. Bitch Riggins? My name's bitch Riggins and I'm boring too. No. No fucking way. Yeah.

Yeah. All right, everybody. This gang, let's have a big round of applause for them, everybody. Harriet Herb, Mary, bitch. Miss Riggins. I'm just going to go with Miss Riggins. If you're nasty. I am not.

I'm not nasty. But I'm so excited for you all and best to luck, folks. According to the old clock on the wall, we got about T-Minesus. Listen to me. T-minus. A regular Ed Harris over here. here. We got T-minus five hours

and 30 minutes or so until this thing blasts off. Thanks for coming, everybody. Make sure to stay hydrated. Thanks. Can I try and flag down Biggans? Oh.

How do you shut this on? You guys go ahead. I'm going to approach the stage and try to discreetly flag down Riggins. No, I split the thing. Okay.

Can you just cut the power, please? It's embarrassing. Can you please? Sorry, go ahead. I want to try and make contact with shoebox. Okay, shoebox is a, uh, shoebox is sitting outside of the rocket on a lawn chair smoking. Great.

Is there any... It's not jumping to get your shoebox. Hello, Miss Riggins. Fuck. Yes. My sentiments, exactly. Oh, God. What are you doing anything? It's not of your business what I'm doing here.

What are you doing here? What did you do, crime? Um, I've done... I didn't know it's illegal to jerk off so much it bleeds. That's horrible. What you've just said is. so gross. Wow.

Children could hear you. No, they can't. Oh, yeah, no way. Yeah, we're not in a year. You know what? I'm thinking about it, Shubox. This may be a great location for you.

Just in sort of how we can sort of contain your nastiness in a sort of adult-only environment. Yeah, it's fucking stupid. Yes. Well, we are marooned here on this layer, so I'm not sure. Yeah, you're a moron on every layer. Oh, boy. You are very, yeah.

Are you in the same boat, shoebox, or did you come to New Kididelfia of your own volition? It's none of your business. It really is, though, because we are also trying to get out of here, so, like, we're a wing, we, like, what's that role? I heard a roll. What's that role? I just see a piece of pie. Griffin has somehow sent an eight-slice pie to the chat. There was just a snack he bought at the store for us.

There was a segment for clocks on my character shoot I'd never seen before. He just clicked it mid-sentence, you maniac. Shubox, we are not deceiving you in any way. We are here, we are trapped here. We're trying to find a way out. And I've got to tell you, I do not think that a rocket blasting up into the next layer is the answer. So we can help each other here, Shubox, if we, if you just sort of extend a little bit of faith in our direction.

Let's, I got to have a sway for this, Gryph. Yep, you got it. Position. I will say it is risky standard. Okay. Five, mixed success. With a mixed success. Okay.

I will give you the short version. I was hired to kill somebody. and I was hired by Kenchildenton to kill someone. And I didn't do it because I had a change of heart, is what I said. But the truth is I had like turbo shits. Like turbo. I couldn't get out of bed. Think of that what you will.

You were turbo shitting in bed? They were so bad. I couldn't even get out of bed. I was like ruined. Okay. Jesus Christ. And the bed was as well. Okay.

And so to puns shitting it. you, Kintrell didn't. I got sent hair to this shit hole. So I have this plan. These demos think they're in space. Yeah. It's hysterical. So they're going to blast off.

I'm going to not be on the rocket. And they're going to blow a hole straight through it. And then I'm going to leave. I see. Okay. It's a perfect plan. It really is, Chewbox. I am, as ever, just in all of your tactical brilliance.

The forethought is what's blowing me. No way, you know? Was, is she telling the truth about everything she just said? Everything, especially the diarrhea. Hold on, let me think. Yes, she is telling the truth about everything she just said. Great. Listen, we are birds of a feather right now.

It's crazy, you don't have to roll for that, by the way, John. Mr. Harper, if you're listening, don't give my brother superpowers, please. Okay, go ahead. Listen, we are birds of a feather. We have also been betrayed by Kensington. Oh, yeah. And if we flock together, shoebox, we also want to get out of here and exact some delicious revenge upon him. So, so let's work together on this.

Do you have a plan? Like, what's your plan? What are you trying to do? You're stuck here. We have a plan. There is someone aboard that ship, Bob Davis, that we need to speak to. Oh, that old slot. Yeah.

He's pointless. What? Yeah, he's just telling all these people, like, lying about like, oh, it's space, you're going home to your mommy's and daddy. It's hysterical, but he's the worst. So wait, he is the ones saying these things. Yeah, it's all him. It's his plan.

Okay, just like take us to him. Oh. Yeah. Okay, sure. Yeah. I, I don't know. You might tell him that is this all stupid and then they won't blow it up and then I won't get out. So I don't think that I'm going to.

We won't tell him that he's stupid. I promise. You're going to tell him it's stupid. And then they won't blow their dumbasses. Oh, my God. Hey, Chlop. Shubox, is it more important for you to escape this layer or to watch a bunch of dumos explode themselves in a spectacular fashion?

Hey, hey, hey, poor K. Nolos does, right? Yeah. Yes, definitely. That's Spanish Yes Sure is You guys ever got a cabo No

Shoebox Have you seen gravel anywhere Who Right yeah You know gravel Um No You really had to think about that

For a very long time I don't like Pay attention to other people Right Sure All right Well, you're giving us some valuable information. So you're sure, you are not going on that rocket, right, Shubox?

Fuck, no. Okay. You don't think that they'll find that a bit curious? I'm going to tell them, I'm in the can. Well, it seems like that for you. No, I'm in the can on the rocket. There's a can on the rocket. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Why would they not have a toilet? Ew, this guy wants everybody to shit in the rocket. Why are you blowing up our spot right now? We are trying to be discreet. also why do they need a toilet on a rocket ship that is going to have a flight that lasts for about eight to nine seconds it's going to be like a long wormhole though you don't know how long wormholes are right okay don't try to talk to them about it their brains are all confluy do you um this may be I think I know the answer to this question before I ask it but would you be willing to let us borrow

a suit of some sort to try and... Like a Gimp suit? No, like a... No, like a... You're a... Just to make a space suit. Extra large... An extra large...

Gimp suit. No, what do you need? Like a flight suit. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they have them all over the place because it's like a dystopian nightmare and it's very easy to get all the resources you need for these. They got loads.

Okay. So... I love your being sarcastic shoebox. Hey, let's... Ask Crescott over here. Hey, am I lying? Um, no. No, she is lying.

There's not infinite spacesuits. There's just the four of them. Okay. Well, okay, then can we borrow yours for a minute? Oh, gosh. I never really thought about it. You know, you guys are actually kind of heroic, you know? I'll give you money.

I don't need money. What would I spend money on? Like expired Twinkies, it's disgusting here. I just am gonna go. You have nothing. I have a gun. I'll give you this gun. It's a single shot.

I got it off like a raider at the beginning of this. I'll give you a gun for that flight suit. It's one bullet. But for that flight suit. Yeah. Or I could shoot a rocket into this place and blow it. That's going to happen. Cool.

Okay. Then I'll leave you the whole like a wadikahody. And wouldn't it be cool? Okay. Wouldn't it be cool to have a gun when you did that? I'll just take a gun off the ground. There are probably lots. You're the worst.

You're the worst and I cannot stop thinking about you. So you are not going to help us find audience with the nanophiles. I am not incentivized in any way to assist. All right. wait a minute. But now that you ask again, I feel this change inside of me. Oh, no, that was gas. All right. We're going to go talk to other people now. But wait. Enjoy your careers and influence.

You're so noble. Maybe there's something I could do. Oh, my God. Go start shoebox con and get out of here. I'm walking away. Where are you going? Any away from her. You see, you walk away and you tell yourself you're not going to look back. Do you?

Of course I look back, yeah. Okay, you see Shoebox extending two fingers in the air like in Hunger Games. Wait, I can help. Wait. I walk back. Dumb bitch.

Oh, my God. Is that it? It's your nice story. Apparently not. It's Shoebox's story. It's just living in it. If you need a laugh and you're on the go, try

ST-O-P-O-D-C-A-S-I-H-H-H-H Hmm. Are you trying to put the name of the podcast there? Yeah, I'm trying to spell it, but it's tricky. Let me give it a try. Okay. If you need a laugh and you're on the go, S-O-P-P-B-A-D-I, it will never fit.

No, it will. Let me try. If you need a laugh and you're on the go, try S-T-O-P-P-D-C-O-O. Ah, we are so close. Stop podcasting yourself. A podcast from Maximum Fun.org. If you need a laugh, And you're on the go. I'm Miffy Wadiway, the host of Maximum Film.

I'm Alonzo Duraldi, also the host of Maximum Film. And I'm Drea Clark, yet another host of Maximum Film. Every week, we host, Tuddle Up. Usually with an illustrious guest, and we talk about films. We have film news. We have film quizzes. We answer your film questions. It's like the maximum amount of film talk.

That's why we call it maximum film. Maximum film. Maximum Film The movie podcast That's not just a bunch of straight white guys New episodes weekly on maximum fun.org So, Emrick, let me tell you, let me tell you what you got. Okay.

You've got a, uh, the silo has a, man, it makes sense for a rocket to be in a silo, but I was also reading the silo books. So I'm just thinking a lot about silos right now. Trabb, did you read those? You check those out? I think read wool. I think you'd really.

I do like it. Anyway. I do know a lot about post-abocalyptic silos from my research. From my books. My machinations. So what you've got is the rocket in the center, okay? And then still, like, there is a sort of like, if you can imagine, a spiral staircase around the outside of the silos. So the people are able to access different parts of the rocket, you know, without having to levitate.

I don't know. There's stairs. Like, why wouldn't there be stairs? Yeah, you get it. You get it. There's stairs. And the silo also obviously has a lid on it that is currently in place. And you see technicians. This is stuff that you would have seen the first time you ran. Technicians working on the stairs, last minute checks. Some people that are obviously more like hands-on checking the engines on the bottom

level closest to the ground level. Still elevated, if you'll remember, I think I said, I can't remember, eight or nine feet, 10 feet, I don't know, it doesn't matter. A good way is off the ground and the rocket itself. And that is what you see in here. You can approach from the door you guys were at before and trying to make your way up that way or if there's something else you want to try, you can do something else. I think, no, I don't think.

I know. Amric wants to check out the engines. Okay. So I say he is going to create a hard light clipboard. Okay. To hold his hand. Just get a clipboard. No, no, no, no, no. If Dad doesn't create pointless hard light, it's not steeplechase.

Yeah. So it makes a clipboard and is making his way, he makes his way down the spiral staircase. Oh, down. Well, okay, the engines would be sort of at your level, if that makes sense. Like, there is, the spiral staircase goes around the exterior. To get to the engines, there's like ladders underneath the thing where people are like in the middle of working. But that is what they are, have like ladders.

Okay, then I think he'll go down the ladders to look at the engines. Okay. So as you get close, a guard stops you. You can tell he's a guard because he has a knife. Whoa. I'm out of voices. Hey, you can't go in here. Why not, Justin?

Because, oh, have we met? Yes. Oh, right. You were the guy in the... At the briefing with the... Remember? Oh, when you were in the inn and you wanted to get a room in... Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember you. And I'm... I'm down here to make sure everybody has a good clipboard. That doesn't make any sense. Well, sure. You have to have a clipboard. Is that hard light? Jotting down.

Yeah, yeah. Look at it. Check it out. It snacks it out of your hand. That's not real. You don't work here. Yes? Why did you do that? Because that was fake.

It's a fake clipboard. You got to have to leave. There's doing signs and stuff. A hard light is what everybody is using now. No, that doesn't make any sense. sense. You can't just make up shit. Please go. Justin, did we not bond when we were at Ephemera? I think

I remember being fairly annoyed with you. I was annoyed enough that I quit and got banished down here, actually. So Oh, I'm sorry if it resulted in that. Well, I took a few people out on my way and I told him I was going to

What? How did you take them out? Well, Clint. Come on. I feel like you want to get this off your chest. Okay. Sorry, was it Emerald? Emrick? Emrick. Emmerich. Emmerich is a completely different character.

Please leave. Have you met Emeril? Okay, you can see Justin McElroy reach to his hip and start to reach for his gun. His knife, sorry. His knife gun. Yes, you got that right. Headed Macquariemerch.com by your own knife gun that shoots blades as wielded by Justin Macquaroy's Justin Maceroy. Not to be confused with a gun knife.

A knife that shoots bullets. Is there, can you give me one good reason why you should be? I should not throw you out of here right now with my knife. Gun. Yes. Okay. I will lay my carts in the table. Oh, nice.

Justin. If, I am of a firm belief that this rocket ship is going to result in the deaths of not only everyone on the ship. Yeah. But everyone in this general area because of the terrible devastation, an explosion that is going to result. And I am trying to do a community service to not only everyone here, but that would include you just to make sure it's safe. I am a technician of great renown.

I mean, how many people do you know can actually make a hard light clipboard? I think the answer is nobody. So I'm just here to make sure that this is safe. I don't even have to touch it. I just need to be close enough to do a little observing. Yeah, okay. That makes a lot of sense because I thought the whole kind of rocket to get our moms and dads. I mean, they're a mom and dad.

My mom and dad live in New Boston. Right, right. So, I mean, you. Yeah. Okay. Dad, give me a sway roll. Great effect controlled. Okay.

Okay. Great effect. Controlled, did you say? Yep. Okay. And I'm going to push myself. Okay. Oh my God. I can't believe we have gone this far. Okay. 4242.

4242. Oh, make success. Perfect. Yeah, that actually makes a lot of sense. I'm going to go. I didn't think. about me getting blown up. I kind of figured they get blown up, but they didn't want to hear anything

about how we're in steeplechicks. So I'm going to go. Thank you for helping me to figure that out. I appreciate it. You can go put ground or whatever. I wouldn't get caught because it is pretty weird that you're here. I absolutely.

Anything you can do to assist me in blending in. He's walking away. Okay. Thank you, Justin. Uh-huh. I said thank you. Uh-huh. Yeah.

Okay. I love that guy. Okay. So you are, everyone seems pretty into what they're doing. There's probably like, well, let's call it three technicians in various, working various tasks, hands on with the engines, making sure everything is like up to, up to code. Okay. I'm going to just do a study. Study role.

Okay. Do you think that makes sense? Yeah. Wait a minute. No. I say it makes sense. I'm going to do a study roll, a particular of the engines. Okay, study roll.

Specifically, I'm going to say that Emmerit gets as close as he possibly can and looks at, checks out the engines, studies the engines. Okay, I'm going to call this controlled limited, because this is not your field. You can exchange, I don't know how this would. work in this case. Get really close. Yeah. An exchange position for effect. But it's up to you.

He's like licking them. Yeah, right? Run a finger. You mean like get closer to them? No, I mean literally in like rules-wise, you are in a controlled position with limited effect. You can't exchange

so you're in a risky position for standard effect. I'll do that. Okay. You get really, really close. So close. And people are like, is this okay? And they're not quite sure about you.

But now you may roll. Okay. So you said risky standard. And I'm going to push myself again. I think this is important. It's good to have. 225.4. Okay.

Now, Justin, in your mind, can I ask you a question? Yeah. Instead of dad having a four-mic success, He has a five mix success. Does that change anything for you? Yeah. Yeah? In the art.

You know what I mean? It's all about a vibe. For example, Dad, you get very close. You do put your hand on a part that you shouldn't have, and it is extremely hot, and you now have a burned hand, a level one harm.

Okay. Used to that? And in the study, but in the study of it, in your completely rudimentary, understanding of not even aeronautics. Would it be aeronautics, I guess, technically, when you're going to space? I don't know. Astronautics. Astronautics. Yeah.

In your limited understanding of space shit, what you think is interesting about this rocket is that it doesn't seem to have the engines, which you would expect to be able to change. change the yaw and pitch and everything of this vehicle, don't seem to have that fidelity of control. This looks like less of a rocket and more of a missile that would be, would not be like changing, be able to stop and pivot and redirect, et cetera. God, Shlip Bethany is going to be so stoked.

Carry on, everyone. Carry on. And I'm... Thank you. Blowing on my fingers. Who was that? Shit, shit, shit, shit. That hurt. And then heads back up the wooden staircase and activates the earpiece and activates the earpiece and says,

Um, fellows. Yeah. This, this is not a mode of transportation. This is a weapon. Oh. Everyone who's on this rocket is going to die. And wherever they shoot it, uh-huh. is going to be destroyed.

Oh, okay. So I don't think we're looking at so much of an exploratory mission as an explosion. Sorry, you broke up a little bit. Could you give me that one more time? I think what we're talking is not so much an exploratory mission. Yeah, got that word. Pause. Pause.

Pause. Okay. As an explosion. Yeah. It's hard to say, isn't it? Well, I'm not sure if you heard the bit where we found Shubox, and she said that this whole deal was the Nano father's idea. Yeah. I would say, I actually tuned all that out because that woman's voice makes me insane.

But if that's the case, I would be willing to bet Nando. Father is not going to be on this vessel when it takes off. Because there is no directional control that you would have in a mode of transportation. It just shoots straight up. It's like a massive bottle rocket. Bob Davis is a giant bottle rocket. Bob Davis is a killer. Is it possible that at this point, this is just, as you said,

Uh, not. Are we underestimating the destructive force of Bob Davis? Um, I... From the heat being generated by the engines? I don't know. I know that even without any kind of incendiary device, if it makes the impact with something traveling at the speeds to propel this, there is going to be a lot of destruction and no one on board.

on board we've got, I'm talking more about the effect it's going to have on steeplechase. We've been talking about it as though it's going to rip through the bottom of the next layer up and then have a big hole there. But if this has been designed to operate as a missile, then perhaps we are underestimating the impact this is going to have on steeplechase. I think, like I said, I think it's a weapon. I think it's an attack. I may be wrong. You are more of the expert in destruction. No, I'm agreeing with you.

I'm agreeing with you plus. Yes. I'm just saying I think we need to revise our plan if it was to be on board the device. No, God, I don't want to be on board this thing. I want to get the dude off of it. Did you think that was the plan? Did you think we were going to blast off and go on an interstellar adventure together? No, no, no, no, no.

I just thought beef was so into finding out the sizes of the spaces of the spacesuit. To sneak on board. And get the guy, not to go on, not to get, not to, to join our place in the stars. I've never been able to figure out the machinations of you two's brains. All right. Well, did you manage your finding? It's what I love about you. Right.

Any kind of vulnerabilities we can exploit in order to access the, you know, crew compartment. Well, there is a spinal staircase that runs along and up the, uh, the interior of the silo, if it would be at all possible, perhaps. I tell you what, how about if I go further up the stairs and see if I can see a hatch? That's great. Be sneaky, too, because they're not going to like that you're there. I have a hard light clipboard, I think. Okay.

Well, you're all set, aren't you? They have regular clipboards lying around, though, right? Oh, no, no, yes, but there's nothing like hard light. Nothing like hard like, my friend. So I'll continue that and you to do whatever it is you do. Well, let's agree what the three of you want to do next. Because you did your separate bits. You got some good information.

And that's going well. Now you can reconvene. And what's your next step? You probably check in the clock, you have around five hours. So we're clear, though. Don't think of that as a, an actual timer like it's not like a game clock

like I'm not you're not racing against the clock necessarily but it is trying to give you a sense of the of the pace of the thing sure I think you just don't want to make another clock yeah it is you have to click like five times so gross can I find Mary Road

the comms officer sure where would Mary Road be a comfy chair by the fire enjoying a mug of Camomile Okay, you actually, you poke around, you ask some of the other folks in New Glenville, and they point to one of the shacks just around a tenth of a mile from where you are. As the crow flies? You see Mary bent over, her helmet is on the sidewalk, and you notice Mary pruning some of her.

some of her plants. She has her overalls, her apron on, over her spacesuit. I hate that I'm not going to be able to attend to these. It's going to be wild by the time I get back if we come back. Oh, sorry, I didn't see you come up, kind of talking myself in the garden.

And Ms. Road? Well, yes. My name is Dilip. Dilip? Good party. Dilip, good party, okay? And I'm a reporter for the new for the new Glenville courier. And I was wondering if you wouldn't mind to answer a few questions.

You are the comms officer aboard the Bob Davis, right? Did you say New Glenville, Curry here? You know, if there was a daily news publication, you know, I would read it. It's a blog. Sorry, a blog? A big log. It's big log. You can't.

Can't refute that. It's a big log. I stand up on it in the edge of town and I yell out all the big news stories of the day. Oh, it's more of a podcast. It's sort of like that. Yeah, I guess you could say that. But what is a podcast other than people standing on a big log and shouting the news of the day? I think Therosa, though.

I'm sorry, I thought you were the comms officer, but the ship and you would be sort of amenable to it. How big is the log? The log is about 18 inches wide. And about, it's only a foot high. Well, everybody's been stealing back. It's tough out there. Chode blog. Yeah.

So I was wondering if you wouldn't mind answer a few questions about the... Give me a sway, baby. Give me a sway roll. Position. This is... What do you think? Surely Montrose is up to four sway by now.

Risk? No, it's controlled standard. Great. Six. All right. So what do you want to know? Well, I guess just for starters, how did you get involved with this mission? I'd like to know more about sort of your background and why you settled into the role of a comms officer aboard the ship.

Well, I wouldn't say there was a lot of competition. It was sort of agreed together, I think, that some of us long-timers would be on the, the mission. Just for the experience, I think, that we bring. Except for Ms. Reggant, she's a newer arrival, but she seemed excited to go. So there weren't exactly a lot of other volunteers. Now, why is that?

Well, I think some people are, they're excited. They are. I think some people are, I don't want to say concerned about the risk of it. But, yeah, I think that that's probably fair, the risk, the danger of it, maybe. And what about the sort of mastermind? I was hoping to secure an interview with him, but they have him sort of locked up tight inside that rocket. But what do you know about the nanofa father? What's your history?

Oh, he is the sweetest. Kind of soul. Smart. Sweet. Always has a moment for you. Well, not for me. Oh, I'm sure if you, if you asked very nicely maybe, or if you told him about your Big Log? Biglog?

Blog? My blog. Blog. I'm sure he would be willing to. He's an absolute sweetheart. Do anything for anybody. Well, he only has several hours before. Oh, that's true.

He will be out of communique. That's true. That's true. And so you're not worried about this sort of makeshift rocket having some sort of catastrophic sort of accident? I am worried. Yes. Okay. Yes.

I'm just saying we have a sister site, a tech blog, and some of our writers there are awfully worried, because they say that the rocket is not really designed for kind of interstellar travel and is more of a sort of ballistic weapon? Nanofother explained that. He said that we needed the speed first and there's a second stage. So once that falls away, there is a second stage that is a bit more nimble vehicle so we can come in for a landing and see our mommies and daddies. Okay.

All right. Um, this is, this is all very helpful. Oh, good. Um, I just, uh, I just, you know, I'm worried. I'm worried. I guess I'm a little bit worried because if you, honestly, when I get that way, I, I talk, I talk to him. I talk to him. I talk to the Nana father. I say, please, just help me. I know I can't understand, but just help me to be, to make my peace with it. Um, so I would, I would recommend it. Um, but that, that would, that's just me. Ask her to help with that. Ask her to facilitate. I, I, uh, golly, I just, I show what appreciate a chance to talk.

Listen, I, we've been, our circulation has been struggling at the blog because, um, it's by the dumpsters. And people don't want to come over there very much. So, uh, this story is obviously the biggest new story of the, you know, decade. And I just, I really want to knock it out of the park and prove, prove myself. Is it any way you could help me Have a conversation with the NANO father? Any way at all, please. Gosh, I don't know.

Can you roll, please? I will push myself. I'm going to say this is Controlled Limited. Can I make it a risky standard? You can, yes. Yeah, I'm going to push myself. I'm also going to help.

You got to justify it to me, Mac. Yeah, I don't know how you're going to help. you're going to help from. Well, foresight you can use a flashback. But you still got to, oh. I mean, you still have to justify it. Flashback, his dad just agreed with you to sit like a sneaky creeper outside the window. Now, all right.

Not trying to be a party pooper. I'm just trying to keep the. Oh, wait, you know what? I'm going to help. I'm standing over by the big log by the dumpster, yelling, I can't wait to hear what you. talk to the nanof father about. I'm really excited for when you announce it.

All right. I'll take the bonus dice from that. God damn. Two one, four three. Wait a minute. It's a straight. One, two, three, four.

That's got to be something, right? That's nothing. Oh. There's a mixed success in there. There's one mixed success in there. How'd it go? Are you going to get the dog to them? What the ladies say?

Darren Griffin just gave another picture of a pie. Does that change your mind, Justin? Does that do anything to sweet in the pot? My friend Mr. Eighth slices has to say about that roll. Oh, you made a made. Oh, you made a sweet pie. A red pie.

Hey, I can't come, but just tell them I said it was fine. Tell them, tell them Mary said it was fine and that'll get you in. Do you have like a, I don't know, can you write that down on a note or something? Oh, fine. there. Great. Better than nothing.

Thank you so much. Would you mind if I took a few photographs? You're really pushing it with a four, you know? Okay. I'll be in my way. Best of luck with the mission. Please don't get on board that ship. I'm pretty sure you would die.

And everyone else would. All right. Good luck. Bon voyage. I'm going to start heading back towards the silo with this permission slip from my mom. When you get to the silo, there are two guards standing outside. There's probably three hours left in the countdown.

Great. When you get there, there are two guards standing outside, and you hear from inside a bit of a commotion. Inside the silo? Yes. Or inside the rocket? Inside the silo. Okay.

Hi, excuse me. My name's Dilip Good Party from the blog. And I was wondering, I have a mission slip here from Ms. Road that is sort of her giving me access to the, to do a quick interview with the Nannofa for my blog before the mission takes off. Just honestly for, you know, important historical records. So I was hoping I might be able to just squeeze on it. in there and have a brief, brief convoy with him. And here's the permission slip right here. I'm handed, I have it right here in my hand.

And that's her signature right there. Okay, Griffin, because you have this slip, I'm going to give you controlled, uh, controlled standard on this sway roll. Okay. Are you all three there? Is it just you? Um, I mean, we can regroup here. I don't think, unless you guys have any other individual business you want to do. No, no, no, no.

Okay. Um, this time I will push myself. Uh, so controlled standard. I'm going to help. Okay. Um, I'm going to use foresight to help. And, uh, and say, um, by the way, we, we would like to do a follow-up story for the blog. on what it's like serving in a security capacity on a crew.

It just seems like such a fascinating, fascinating topic, if you all would be available later. The security guards who have to this point remained silent, kind of shrug at each other, like, okay. All right. I am also going to push myself on top of this foresight. Wow. So, oh, my God.

31552. What are the fucking odds of five? One of them points his thumb at the door and steps aside. And the other one says, no. And then he looks at the other guy and he's like, okay. And then they let you in. Big successes are tough. Yeah, mixed successes are tough, man.

You got to pay the price. You just like, that could have been a new reader for your blog, right? One guy is kind of annoyed by you. That is your price. Oh, my God. You got to live with that all day. Well, that was controlled also. that again. I don't...

I just don't understand. I don't know. Yes, I've tried that. You see Harriet arguing with a man that you had not seen before you, you don't recognize him. But you hear through her yelling, she's referring to him

as Gary. And she is, it's just stuck. Gary clearly doesn't understand what she means by stuck. But he throws up his hands and she says, just go try it.

Try the sequence again. Oh, what do you three want? We have a permission slip here from Ms. Road. She was insistent that we have a conversation with the nanofa. You did say to come back later. And so it is later now and we sure would love a chance to talk. That would be wonderful. Except none of us can access the rocket.

Ah. What's the watch? It's locked. It's simply, it's just locked. And for some reason, we can't get a hold of the nanofather. Okay, where's the, like, radio thing? Surely you have some means of communicating remotely. Yes, we should be able.

It's automatic. He can hear everything we're saying. Right now? Yes. Oh, okay. Cool. He should be. As designed, yes.

Wait, sorry. As designed? As designed, there is two-way communications. We lost communications and the door locked. So, wait, so he can hear us and he's just not answering or he can't hear us? I don't know because we can't hear him either. Communications being shut off. Isn't that complicated?

What about room tone? Can you pick up room tone? It's just dead. Okay. Hey, nanofather slash turdmaster. If you can hear us, it's beef, montrocin. Are you just standing? What do you do it? Yeah, I'm just like announcing to the air. There's no response.

Please? We have concerns. Shukles sent us. Hmm. I thought you'd like to know how Shukles is doing. We have an idea of how to get back to Siebel-Jays and kill Kenchell Denton. Whoa, hold on. Whoa.

Still nothing? Beef, you said that, but while you were saying it, there was like a blaring air horn, like a siren almost going off in the silo, in the light spin. And just as you finish speaking, the siren stops. and everyone in the silo hears this. With the three of them alone. Maximum Fun. A work-owned network of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.