The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Steeplechase - Episode 40

Episode Date: October 5, 2023

With the face of their adversary revealed, the arcade gang and their collected allies hatch a desperate (standard) plan to keep Steeplechase from collapsing. Beef gets combative. Emerich gets technical. Montrose gets vulnerable. Additional music in this episode: "A Rainbow in the Sewers" by Dilating Times: https://www.tommasocroce.it/; "Cool Vibes" by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.com/; "(Ambient) Breath," and "(Ambient) Fleur" by Kirk Osamayao: kirkosamayo.com; "Hard Mode" by Holizna: https://holiznaroyaltyfree.bandcamp.com/; "#44108 (Transistor)” by Techtheist: https://techtheist.ru/; "Six" by Lex Villena: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2iwj2SqGnplhDIadeJ5bmy?si=N8WYSKIPR7WUy8z4ajNSog; and "Is Lost" by Marc Ferry: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/ferry-beat/. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Oh my gosh, what are you guys gonna do? It seems so scary. I'm so scared for you. I put all kinds of bad stuff in and I made it just all weird. Justin, I shit you not. I thought that was Shlbethany talking in character. Oh, no, no, it's just me. When you started.

They're all in my heart. Oh, my God, yeah. Like in that James McIvoy movie. He's like the podcast, Jeff Donham. Oh, yeah. He's the Jeff Dunham of Actually. He's the Jeff Dunham of Ackleyfordford. Do the old man who says funny stuff.

Yeah. And then do his most racist one. You choose. Yeah, because he can get away with it because he's, oh. It's puppets. The puppets are doing it, not Jeff. Yeah, Jeff would never. Jeff would never.

No. Never. You guys got to save the day, though, for real. Come on. I don't know how you're going to do it. I'm over here like, how are they going to do it? Because it seems bad to me. I hope you guys have a plan because I just made up a bad scene and just let you all.

Okay, Justin, sorry. This is your first game that you're running here, and I know it's come to it. Where's the like angry God or like the consuming presence or like demonic like chaos, demon? What do you mean? You got to have those. Yeah, like yours seems to be just like people are bad? Yeah, no. That's weird.

This is there's no bad people and there's no good people. Yeah. There's just people. Listen, listen, listen. There's not just people. There's also a rocket. And the rocket is going to explode and just be a really bad scene for everybody. There's also, as you can see, my helpful diagram here inside the, there's the Bob Davis there right in front, front and center.

Nano father, knee Carmine is in there. and he wants to blast off to take a big chunk out of steeplechase and some folks with it. Yeah. Also, Kenchled Denton has shown up in an STOL with some armored personnel carriers, some APZs full of troops. They are decamping and taking out their guns. You all have... Is an STOL, this is not a joke, like standard takeoff and late? Like, what's the S-4?

Short. For, okay. Sure. It was, they were going to use them to bring people in, actually, from, because there was no great airport in Orlando. They were going to use STOLs to take people on very short hops from bigger hubs like Tampa and St. Pete, places like that. Okay. But they never really came to fruition. But now they use STOLs to get around quickly between the layers.

and there is a situation. You have just been sort of rescued by Gravel and some friends that Gravel brought along to aid you in your quest. And Darla has joined you as well. And you are now in the tens you see on the left-hand side. You're hearing the shooting continue, but you have a moment to think. Is the shooting at us or at the silo?

The shooting seems to be in your general direction. There was a lot of smoke from Gravel's grenade. Okay. So it was kind of like battle fog. So they do not know exactly where you are. Although, I mean, they probably assume you're in one of the tents. But they do not know your exact location. So you have a bit of safety to cook up a plan.

Darla Davis, I'm so happy to see. So glad that my letter reached you. Thank you for coming. I took such a big bet on you. I hope you realized that. No, listen, absolutely. I knew I could count on you. I have never trusted Kenchleton, right?

You haven't either, right? Like, that was a thing. Oh, I'm not sure I trust anybody anymore, beef, but your letter struck a cord with me. And look at you three in the middle of the apocalypse to look at as gorgeous as ever. I do not know how you do it. Oh, Pasha.

So, I was about to ask what's the plan, and then I had this just, like, sinking, feeling that you guys would be like, well, what's your plan? And now I'm afraid to ask, but what's the plan? We are, there is no, there is no plan. Yeah. You all needed us, and we're here. You're, you all, the big brains. There. What?

There is always. There is always a plan. Let's pause right here. I have a clock. You can no longer have visibility on the countdown clock, which is inside the Bob Davis. You, when you got blast out, you lost sight of that. I have a clock here for myself, just for me, that I'm going to tick down as is appropriate. We've been trying to teach BB and Dot the difference between just making a statement of truth and bragging.

And I'm not going to lie, Justin. and kind of felt like bragging the way you said, I have a clock. You know what? As my last gasps of power before I just revert to one of you common people, I think it's driven me a bit mad. Okay. Yeah.

All right. First part of the plan. I like to put together a checklist and sometimes put a few easy things in it that I can just check off and feel good. So step one. Get momentum going. Exactly. Hey, Emmerick, can you whip us up a hard light whiteboard?

Oh, yeah, that's fairly easy. Let's see. Maybe for a normal man. What size? That doesn't matter, does it? No. Nope. Okay, I'm going to give you a standard 36 by 48.

Do you want a hard light easel? This is supposed to be easy. Harriet rolls in a whiteboard from an adjacent tent. Thank you so much. That is great. Even better. Save me the work. you.

Objectives. One, don't let steeplechase blow up. That's just sort of. Is that the easy one? Sorry, that's the easy one you're starting with. No, I'm sorry. One, get a whiteboard. And I'm going to go ahead and scratch that off.

Two, don't let steeplechase blow up. This is a sort of primary objective. Yeah. Just big gold question mark on this one. This is a big target. Hey, so what are we talking about you with steeplechase blowing up? Sorry, everybody. Hey, we haven't met Douglas Menzetti.

No, we've met. The steeple chase blow it up. Oh, yes. May I? Real quick. So just take what I'm about to say of face value because we don't have time to go. But Carmine Hardlight Carmine Den has been down here where he's locked away because he was trying to run things as a hard light, Carmine Denton. Okay.

And they wouldn't let him. So he built a rocket to shoot it straight up. Steeplechase's butt. It's going to blow up at least the layer above this. Maybe more. Does anybody here know, because you all have been sort of noodling around, what the layer above this is? No. Wait, are you all saying you don't?

No, come on, please. Oh, God. It's got a city. Okay. Listen, okay. It's not used to been, which we were all concerned about. Yeah, yeah. Now, I do feel like we have taken a sort of moral stance against this rocket going off that it would be kind of shitty for us to back up on now.

And also, if I may, it just. Does the bad balance of like rich guy shoots rocket into a place called gutter city? Yes. Does feel not great. Classes as hell. Yes. Yeah, I understand. There's a lot of lost people up there.

They're not all bad eggs. No. Oh, yeah. Okay. So we were going to stop it. It's there. It's number two on the list. We have been inside of the rocket.

And there's a lot of machinery, switches and stuff like that happening in there. Problem is if we are able to disable the launch of the rocket. rocket, it will still explode and destroy this layer, which would be bad for all the children. So, objectives, disable the rocket or somehow get it to hit zero layers when it goes off. I don't know how we do that. Hey, listen, listen, fellas, it doesn't have to be like this. Is that Kenshal? Yeah.

Okay. Doesn't have to be like this, fellas, but I can only give you another minute or so. me and my guys got to get in there. Come on. Let's get you out. If I may. Oh, he still thinks we're in the silo. No, he saw you leave the silo. But he means out of the layer.

If I may, I have an idea. But it's all predicated on us being thieves. I think if you can get me inside, the rocket again, I can shut it all down. I can, I can, I can stop the launch. But how we get in there, I don't know, but we are master thieves, or at least thieves. Uh, yes, let me see the

and I doodled up a quick diagram of the silo real quick. We are not going to be able to get into the silo again. It is too heavily guarded for us to sneak in the front door and there are no other entrances in as far as I can tell, save for one when the rocket launches, I do assume that the silo top will be cracked wide open. That would be a far more accessible entrance for us, aside from the fact that it is many, many feet up off the ground. Well, if I may. Please.

We do have some aerial support we could contact. Oh. I don't know what that. I don't know. The metamals. Okay. Okay. Yes.

All I know, fellows, is, If you can get me, if I can get in that rocket, I can shut down the launch. I'm absolutely convinced of that. Don't make us, hey, let me say something. This is to everybody, and this is kind of meta, but if there's an idea, don't assume that the situation will disallow that idea. No, yeah, for sure. You know, like without, there's people around who know more than you. There's things you can maybe observe.

I mean, there's other ways that we can build on it. So don't shut anything down. If you have a thought you want to go with, you know, explore it. And remind me, Justin, what does APC stand for? That's an armored personnel carrier. Those are troop cars. And the little dots that you see outside, those are troops. Just to remind you.

Is the front door, we just left the silo, right? It's not like the silo is locked. You left the silo, you were held up. The explosion happened. and you leapt off the platform, made a dash for the tents. Do you fellows think we could commandeer the VTOL? That is a very fun idea. Yeah, I like that.

I, man, can I be honest? As long as we're playing in that space, I'd like to get the STOL, I'd like to get an armored personnel carrier, crash that into the silo. That would be fun. All right. Well, we have a sort of small army here.

The three of us will go up, surrender. We'll say, take us away. get us the hell out of here, Kinchel, and then we'll, maybe you all can rush in, cause a distraction at our signal. And then we'll just grab that bird, fly it up over the thing, hop down into the silo, and get you into the rocket to disarm it or whatever. And Bob Davis is your uncle. You're going to be like the captains of the team and we'll be like the idiots, trash people who, do the work for you. See, she understands completely.

She understands. To the letter. That won't work. That won't work. Uh, no, uh, shoebox, we're the sacrificial lambs and you're the actual heroes. Okay. No. Okay.

So here's another one. What if we go and just like stab? Hello? That was it. That's the whole. Oh, we just stab. Just stab. Oh, I thought, I thought you cut out.

I thought you cut out, Justin. You just like, stop. Well, this brings me to my second point, and I write underneath Stop the Rocket from blowing up, Kill Kinchel Denton. And I circle it. Now, this is admittedly a sort of sub-quest, if you will, a side quest. This is not pertinent to our main goal, but there are sort of bonus points that we will get for completing this one. So that's it. I mean, honestly, two things, really.

because we already got the whiteboard. Why are you killing Kenshal? Oh, he's a piece of shit. He sucks shit. Yeah, but like, how are you guys? You're all good eggs? Like, you're just going to kill him? Oh, sorry, he's crossed us many times, leaving us for dead.

He crossed you. Oh, my gosh. He crossed the wrong guy, right? Is there another person in Justin we could talk to? No, but it crosses me. Shoebox, you went from stab to... But why so quickly I am getting whiplash. No one crosses me.

I'm the mask. That's not the mask's deal. Like the mask isn't like nobody crosses me. Okay. So what's the plan? Oh my God. Yeah, I would like to know also where like in this Douglas Man City sort of features. And don't forget, I bring a certain set of assets to the table as well.

Does Douglas have a camera with him? Yeah, he does. Okay. Yeah, you know, uh, Douglas? Yeah. What we have in you is a secret weapon, my friend, because with a camera trained on Kenchell and them, the third eye, there's going to be, uh, just a natural, like, bureaucratic, uh, you know, uh, preservation instinct that's going to give them a second thought before they do, like, murders. Just for a second.

And we're going to use that to our advantage. Okay, so you want me to do the little docu series on Kich of them just to film him. Yeah, as we're coming out, the three of us. Yeah, he's my boss. You know, he's my boss. I don't know. Oh, and, oh, I forgot every employee loves their boss 100%. No, I'm just like, I don't, I can't get shit kid.

I got, I got alimony. You know. Hey, and I point at number three on the whiteboard. I don't think you need to worry about that, right? Because we stop that we kill him. He can't fire you from beyond the grave. Oh, they're going to kill him. Okay, well, oh gosh.

Oh, gosh. I hope I don't. Can I make a request seriously, though? Yeah. Can I not be filming when you oof this guy? Because, like, I would rather not see. Oh, yeah, no, no, no. Yeah, don't worry about that.

I got trouble sleeping already. It'll be, it'll be tasteful off camera. In his candle. Yeah. It's enough. Very, very Blair Witch project. Yes. All right.

This seems like a good plan. Is everybody ready? Okay. Let me now talk to you in, now that we've let our characters sort through this, talk to me directly about plans. Step one, the classic fake surrender. Step one, I think the three of us go and turn ourselves in. Okay.

Okay. Step two. We figured it out in play, man. It's Blades in the dark. Improvise. We have never, ever once, not never made a plan in this fucking game. So I don't know why we would start doing it now. No, here is the only thing that is holding me up.

And we can address this one of two ways. If you're going to be giving yourself over to Kenshal, you're not going to easily be able to communicate plans to the people who are working with you. So one of two things can happen. One, we can finalize that ahead of time, or two, you can handle that through flashbacks and we can just sort of roll with it. I will say that the negative of the second one is that, you know, you don't exactly know what circumstances you're leading yourselves into by surrendering. So, you know, you may have less flexibility there. We don't know.

But we can do it either way. So I throw open the flap of the tent that we are in. Dramatic as hell. Okay, the we being just you three are coming out. Yes. In slow motion. With wisps of smoke crossing in front of us that we stride through majestically. I want to have you speak for me

It is not majestic when I do it Okay Hey, hey, all right Seeing the light here Where's the rest of your crew? Dead We killed them Well no, we saw them

You know, we saw them run We necessarily threw a grenade at us But we grabble We killed them emotionally We And physically We did Yeah

Okay You killed You killed them Yes They crossed They crossed double crossed us for the last time. So we triple crossed them. It's thief stuff, cancel.

You wouldn't get it. Let's see a sway role led by. It's a group sway led by Griffin. What's my position would you say here? I would say Griffin that what you've got is risky standard. There was a lot going on, so it's not completely unbelievable. All right. But I don't think you'll get another shot at it.

Okay. And I do want to make clear, Justin, even while this is happening, we're still walking towards it. I did not stop walking. sure. So this is going to be a good roll. No, 2-4-4 for me, but you guys also get to roll. Okay. And you said it was what? Sway. Sway. A whiskey standard. Whiskey standard. Whiskey standard. Whiskey standard. Whiskey standard. Whiskey standard. I got, I got a four as well. Four, six, three. How does dad have a three in sway? That's crazy. I do. You can look at my sheet if you doubt you, sir. I believe you. I believe you. Yeah. Okay. The rare triple-cule. Cross. All right.

Well, that's weird. Bummer, but, you know, what can you do? All right. Tell you what, guys, let's get you out of here. I'm going to load you up. If you could search them for weapons, please. And he's gesturing it the six fellows closer to the... Hold on.

St.O.L. Can't you want bigger issues? There's a rocket? Like, what you're... Yeah, it's not going to take... That's why I ask them, and I'm not. doing it. Pat him down, get all their gear and stuff, guys.

Why? We are the only ones who have been inside that rocket. Let us help you. We want to diffuse this situation just as much as you do. You can help with your mouth. I'm just getting your gear. Okay, so the troops are coming to, they are going to take your...

I don't have fucking anything, so... Okay. They would take. They can try. No, well, okay. Trab, you say that. Now let's think. This is surrendering.

So if you, and this is what you wanted to do. So if you want to start a fight with these, you know, 40 armed characters, that's fine. But I don't think it's going to be great. Do I have anything cool that I don't want to get, my, my axe ain't out of a shuffle. No, that's fine. They can have that. Emeril. Yeah, Emeril.

I need the, the, what do you have? Oh, your little hook thing and the give a ghost. Oh, absolutely. latch on this thing is so hard to do. That's okay. Beef, help it off him. Okay, yeah. Stand in here in front of me, Beef.

Okay. And when he does, Emric creates a hard light give a ghost projector to hand over. I mean, he would still see the one on your wrist.

Pulls his sleeve down over it. Okay, you know what? That's what I'm doing with my, yeah, as I'm coming. Yeah, Dad, give me a finesse roll to see how well you pull this little switchrooney off. This improbable. I guess if Beeps blocking the view with his body, that's possible. Okay. It's feasible.

Man, I wish we could. You say this was risky? Risky? Yeah. Standard. Risky standard, yeah. And I'm going to. push it. Push it real good. No, wait, it doesn't make sense to push it because I already, if I have

zero in finesse, then I get two rolls, right? Oh, buddy, no, it's disadvantage essentially. Roll two take the lowest. Yeah, roll two take the lowest. Well, so I can push myself. If you have no dye in something, then you roll it twice and take the lowest. If you have one die, then you roll that one I once. So it is better because it's not disadvantaged. You're not taking the worst of two roles. Now, can I offer Justin, and you can say no to this because it is within your power to do so? What if I made the finesse roll to cover the action and dad made the tinker or a tune roll, whatever it is?

No. That's okay. You're just standing there. I'll go ahead and get dad's roll. Okay. would you say that it's helping me, the beef is helping me

by blocking the view? I have no stress to give right now. I'm saving it. All right. Then I'm going to push it and roll one die. Let's see if we pull this off. Five.

Five. Wow. Okay. I tell you what, there is a, in the quick copy that you made, there is there are a few misspellings

because you're working quickly and anybody who examined it very closely would be able to tell the difference but that is gap a ghost projector it is so they but they're not doing that right now so they're taking it

and you have managed to keep the projector on your wrist excellent job okay load up fellas onto the onto the He's loading you into the APC. Into an APC? Yeah. Oh, okay.

They're going to drive you out and we're going to take it from here. Who else is currently present on said APC? It is empty, except for one guy in the back who's C-Bill is stuck. Oh, all right. Oh, man. Why are I so? That's so kidding. Okay.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna get in last, you know, behind Emmerc and, uh, emmerk and Montrose. And push whoever's behind us and slam the door. Okay, so, wait, I'm envisioning this. What are you doing? So like, the three of us get in. Uh-huh. And as I clear the door, I turn around, and I assume there's like somebody guiding us in or whatever. And you slam the door shut. Yeah, I pushed him away and slain the door.

Okay, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, okay. The human mind can be tricky. Your mental health can be complex. Your emotional life can be complicated. So it helps to talk about it. I'm John Moe. Join me each week on my show, Depression Mode with John Moe. It's in-depth conversations about mental health with writers, musicians, comedians, doctors, and experts.

Folks like Noah Khan, Sashir Zameda, and Surgeon General Vivek Marti. We talk about depression, anxiety, trauma, imposter syndrome and perfectionism. We have the kind of conversations that a lot of folks are hesitant to have themselves. Listen, and you won't feel as alone, and you'll have some laughs too. Depression Mode for Maximum Fun.org at maximumfund.org

or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is KT. Wigman, Operation Specialist. I'm here with Christian Duenas, producer, and we're both worker owners here at Maximum Fun. October is National Co-op Month. So we're celebrating our brand, new co-op and some others with an event called Co-Optober.

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and more, visit maximum fun.org slash co-op-tober. That's C-O-O-P-T-O-B-E-R. Happy Co-O-O-P-O-R. All right, okay. Yeah, jazz, baby. I block all the doors. Now what's all this? Is this the guy who's strapped into the seatbelt? Well, this day just Just keeps going from bad to work. What's your name? Yeah. Oh, seatbelt stuck. Oh, criminently.

What, yeah. What's your name? If you say, Justin, I'm going to freak the fuck out. What? No. My name's Tamerlane. And my seatbelt's stuck. All right, Tamer Lane.

Listen. Oh, fool. Look at me, Tamer Lane. Yeah, sorry. Sorry, I don't normally do this. Normally, the seatbelt just pops right open. No problem. Are you ready to become a hero?

I don't think it's. heroic to take off your own seatbelt. Any adult should be able to do this. Oh, I got... No. Okay, just sit. God damn it. Just sit still for a second. Yeah, I'm not going anywhere. Obviously, my seatbelt's stuck. I help her with a seatbelt.

Okay, nice. Thank you. I'm not a child. No, I would have gotten it. Okay, great. So, listen, I don't know where your allegiance lie, but do you want thousands of people? And he's got... He has his... pistol out and it's now trained on. Oh, come on, Tamillane. We just had a moment. Yeah, but like, I saw what happened. I just didn't want to start anything while I was stuck in my seat with my own

seatbelt. Okay, I clobber him. What? I clobber him. Okay, give me a... Clobber roll. Yeah, give me a roll, Trave. This is risky standard. Actually, I'm going to say risky great, Trave, because he is really not... He's seated. He's not. He's not. He's not. He's The five of four and a five. Wow. Okay. You sock him right in the nose and he goes down pretty quickly. But with a five, he does at, like you trigger something when you punch him in the nose and he sneezes right on you.

And then he backs out. Oh, gross. Yeah. Sorry. That could have gone way worse. Okay. And you're old of five. What do you want?

What do you want? I'm going to take Tamer Lane's pistol. Okay. That's mine now. I'm going to take his wallet. And... I'm going to make sure that he's comfortable and re-belt his seatbelt. Oh, yeah.

He's fucking not going anywhere for real now. And I'm going to go up to the driver's seat and look for keys. Okay. There are... Well, there are no keys. Okay. Well... Yeah, the keys are.

have been taken by one of the drivers. The drivers, by the way, are now starting to hit the windows with the butts in the gun. That's fine. To try to smash in. But it is an armored personnel carrier. I did say that. That's perfect. That's perfect for us.

You've got some time. I'm going to use my tuscan to pry open the dashboard here and start hot wiring the car. Okay. Give me a start with a wreck. May I suggest that you pry it open and maybe I try to hotwire the car? Yeah, yeah. This is... He's kind of the one who's good with stuff.

That's a fair point. I'm not trying to destroy the dashboard of the car. I'm just trying to... I know, but you are not a car professional at all, so what you're doing is you're hitting it with a tusk to try to make a hole to the wires, okay? Okay, then I'm not going to use my tusk hand. I'll use... Just my fingers.

You know me better than that. You think I'm going to penalize you for using a tusk? You don't think I'm going to make it a better... I think the argument I'm making here is that I'm not trying to wreck this. I am trying to crack open something that can open. Finesse. Almost finesse, yes. Pizzish, risky standard?

Risky standard, I think. Yeah, risky standard, I think. Man, we are rolling a lot of fives and fours today's, friends. That's a 4-5-4. Okay, that is a five, let's see. With a five, you do manage to pry it off, but in the time that it took you, you start to see a tiny spidery crack running across your driver's side window

as people continue to smash on the window with their rifles. Okay. They seem hesitant to shoot. You would guess because of the, not wanting to have the bullets refracted back on. Sure. A reasonable concern. All right.

There's a word for that that is not refraction because that's specific to light. Right. But you know what is it? Like a ricochet. Carum. Ricochet. Rickash. All right.

Now make the spark happen that makes the car go. Okay. Risky? Desperate? I'm going to say. I mean, desperate. Desperate. Yes, desperate standard.

Okay, tinker roll. That's right. Six, six, two. Fuck, yes. That's a critical. Get in those wires and get yucky on them. And I didn't blow up. The critical here is so good that the car becomes sentient like a night rider.

Oh, my, hello, Amrik. Do you want to stop this rocket? I can talk to the rocket. Yeah, the car like, I don't know how to give you like a critical car turning on, but like it turns on like so loud that it scares some of the people away from the car. There you go. It scares them away from hitting the car because they do not know what the fuck you're doing. And you do it so quickly, Enric that they're kind of freaked out a little bit. Like what the fuck? What are they doing here? Okay. All right. I hit the gas. Which which of these armored personnel carriers are we looking at? Are we in sort of the front of the fleet? You're in the front left. The one closes to the STOO. Well, then I'm going to just sort of jerk the wheel hard to the left. Tokyo drifted a little bit.

If I see Kenchell, I want to drive at him, but not actually hit him, just, like, scare him, make him jump, make all his friends think he's like a little baby. What you see directly in front of you is eight, as you can see there, eight troops, dent tonic customer service representatives with rifles, trained on the window. So if you gun it, you're going to be plowing into these eight dudes. Just want to make sure you're okay with that. We are criminals. Yeah, just plow into them non-lethal. Yeah, I'll go super slow.

You'll go super slow. Okay. No, that's not true. I, yeah, I mean, I'm trying to, I want to swerve out of the way of them. Okay. And go towards the front door of the silo. Okay. So that's my goal.

That's my goal here. Okay. Why don't you give me a finesse roll, I guess, right? Yeah. What's my position? This is desperate. That's great. And standard.

I'm going to take Daredevil dice on that one. Okay. What does that mean? I get to roll plus 1D, but I take minus 1D for the consequences if I fail it. Come on now. Come on now. Come on now. Let's see that six.

Oh, my God. Hmm. Oh, God. That's so interesting. One, two, three, three. Oh, Griff. Oh, beans. Oh, shit.

That's a bad one to do that on. Yeah. Oh. Give me a second. Let me think. Oh, fuck. Oh, man. Oh shit.

Wow. You really blew it, Gryphon. Fuck, man. You really clinted all over the place. I don't think we can call it Clinton anymore. I think we have to call it Gryffining. That's a, this is my worst failure in this game, I think, so far. I'm scared of how long Justin has been thinking about the time.

I didn't think you were going to say in this game. I thought you're just going to leave it at your worst failure. Okay, with this. roll that you have, Griffin. You grab the wheel and you start finessing it. But the car's security

system locks up and takes rest control of you from the car, rest control of the car from you. Full speed now. It is now redirected its course. APC to be

decommission. And it is rocketing this APC full speed right at that gigantic pile of trash underneath the trash hole. Okay, bad. I fucked up. I have a new clock. You should act fast. Yeah, sure. Well, um,

well, is there, uh, uh, uh, is there like a top opening? that perhaps a gunner might pop out of like a sunroof but armored in a cool way? Yeah. They probably call it like a gun roof, you know? Gun roof, that's good. As you floor it past Douglas Manzetti who's like, hey, is this part of the plant?

Yeah. I'm going to attempt to jump out the gun roof. Okay. Okay. Great. Give me a prowl. It's great. We'll all just jump out

and then we'll apologize and then we'll do it again with one of the other APC. he's remaining. Hey, sorry guys. Just got carried away. Position. I mean, desperate? Yeah. Standard. Yeah, desperate. Desperate. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Jesus fucking Christ. Oh, my God. That's a one. So one, Justin. You know? You, you, you, uh, I mean. Yeah? You climb out and you make it, you make it out of the good. gun roof.

Uh-huh. And then your foot catches on one of the latches up there and you take a tumble and Trave, I'm afraid you break your leg. Yeah. Oh. I mean, you break your leg. All right. Now, luckily.

Luckily, I have. No, I have. It ruining my incredible tail. No, I know. I have the special ability tough as nails. Yeah. So the penalty is one level less. Okay.

Oh, thank goodness. actually, that would have been much harder to do. So now I just have like a sore leg for one. It's a sprain. It's a sprain and you are now like completely vulnerable standing just like in the middle of everything outside of your armored personnel carrier. While the other two are now rocketing towards the trash pile. Where am I in relation to the STOL? You're like, like, you made it quite a distance before you made it out that.

hole. Okay. And you can, yeah, I'm not gonna say in this beat they're gonna notice that that this has happened, but it's actually no, they would have absolutely watched this whole thing happen. Yeah, they saw they're gonna start training their guns on you soon, you better at class. Oh yeah, just start running. Where? Where? Which direction? Um, towards the STOL. That's like going to take you right into where everybody is. Okay. You're running, so you're running at them. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, I am, Justin. I do want to remind you guys as you come into these complications. You did allow for the possibility that this was a planned thing. I just want to remind you of that. Yes. Can we, I don't, okay. I have a very stupid idea.

Do it. We love it. Is everyone, how distracted would you say is everyone by this chaotic scene that we all have whipped up? Well, Griffin, the one thing I can say about this sequence of events is that it's memorable and is taking everyone's attention on it, I want 100%. Okay, great. As the van is speeding towards the trash, I would like to flashback. Okay. Back to Inside the Tense just before we came out.

Okay. I look around at all of our assembled friends and I say, okay, point of the game is to get Emmerick inside of the silo. The easiest way for us to do that is if everyone else is looking in the opposite direction. But the only reason people would do that is if they think that the threat has been neutralized and we have been apprehended. So I take off my mask. and I can't remember if I've done that before in front of everyone.

No, I was thinking about it last time. I take off my mask. The smell is overpowering. The smell is not great. And you all see an old, weathered face, I think, shockingly old, older than Emmerich. Not older than dad, though. Not older than Clint McRoy. No one's older than that.

And I take off my long coat and I look around at everybody around us and I hand it to Mean Doug. Is Mean Doug here? Is that his name? Mean Doug, are you with us? Mean dog was I'm trying to remember who all was here I'm trying to think of somebody who has a build Like Montrose

I take my coat and mask And I Size up funny man And I say All right funny man It's time for performance of a lifetime And I hand him my gear Then I look at Beef and Emmerich and I say, we can do the old shell game, get them looking in the opposite direction.

We need someone to play the role of Emmerick Dreadway, though, and beef. I, well, I have Emerald. That's excellent news. Yes, fantastic. I forgot completely about your ghost self. Mm-hmm. And do you think Scott could pull off being beef? I don't know. What do you think, beef? I've been Scott this whole time.

Okay, but... No, I think he could do it, yeah. With us, it's easy, because he's got a hologram duplicate, and I can just throw a mask on someone. And, you know, but Beef Punchley is a sort of recognizable name and face. You know what? Let me help sell it. then I'll go with them.

Are you sure? Yeah. You guys take care of like the infiltration and the de-escalation and I'll be, you know. You'll take care of the fleet of armed guards. Yeah. You know what I... Maybe not alone. You know, I say that.

Maybe like some backup might be very nice. I think we can arrange that. All right. I've always loved chaos, ghost friend, but I can't believe I'm about to die in a big pile of trash. I mean, I wasn't thinking that you all were going to die in a big pile of trash. Oh, wait, is this the present now? Yes, this is the present where Funny Man is talking to the ghost

about how they're both about to die in a big pile of trash. I'm glad I get to die with another human being, just like me. May I suggest you give Beef the pistol You could have it still in the past But already brought us to the present Also I got the pistol in the present I'd rather punch

Yeah can we have one last beat Before we break this flashback As they get dressed and get ready to leave I grab beef And I say You know what I think beef punchly I think this is your prime.

And then we cut to him fucking jumping out of the car and breaking his. He was going to die with us. And so now I'm ready to give the signal on the, our connected communication stuff with the menomals. I have not listed the menomals in your list of assets, right? I'm not sure you can just summon the metamels. Flashback. Okay.

Hey, can I summon you guys later? You drive a hard bargain. I promise it will be a really cool moment if you let me do it, Metamals. He says, I mean, I don't know. He says it'll be a cool moment. It'll be like a really cool signal. Okay. I don't think, do you roll in a flashback?

You just take stress depending on how Ludacrest it is. I don't, okay, here's my one thing, Trave, I don't know when this would have happened. I think maybe we would have set up some kind of signal, like, if we get there and get in trouble with the grownups, right, and need extraction.

Okay. Because all of that was like part of the plan. We're going, we're looking for... So you have an extraction. This is not a battle plan. This is an extraction plan. with the metals. You're calling them in to extract you.

I mean, the plan's changed, Justin. I'm calling them for backup. Hey, I'm just want to get everybody's language clear because I need to understand what everybody's doing. That's all. I'm not challenging anyone. I'm just trying to understand. I think he's saying that he set up a line of communication with them

in case they needed an extraction. Yes. But now this would provide great backup and distraction rather than extraction. So Montrose, are you standing? there like in your underwear or I mean no I mean I was wearing some slacks and a you know and a nice button down yeah yeah is it like khakis or we talk about uh no like gray pinstripe pants and uh oh go see your sucker a loose loose fitting oh what's the what's the fit on those pants

are we talking a high-waisted slim fit flare yeah I love that um okay You raise your fists. I haven't given the signal yet. Oh, okay. I look at all the soldiers who have their guns trained on me, and I start to laugh. And I say, oh, I guess you don't know where you are. Do you know where you are? You're in the jungle, baby.

And that's the signal. Okay. The guerrilla dactal streaks over the heads of these soldiers, which are all, of course immediately look up and start firing at the metamels. Great. Then that's a great distraction for me to attack the first one. Okay. As they're firing up at the medibles, let me see. That wouldn't have anything to do with you how well that went. So they're distracted shooting at medibles. And what are you going to do, Traff? I'm stepping into the first one. And I'm throwing it.

elbow to the face and trying to control his gun arm to kind of swing it around at his compatriots. Okay. Give me a, I guess this, what's it, what do they call it? What's the fighting one? Scirmish. Scirmish. There we go. A risky standard.

Yeah. Standard. And for this one, I'm going to use my special armor to push myself because I'm battle-born. and I shall push myself to get an extra dice I get a three, one, four, five. That is a five.

That is a five. I make success. Okay, let's see. The one you are fighting, you knocked them out with a solid punch, but before you can pull their gun on somebody else, it locks down. There's an ID lock on the gun so it freezes up just as you take it into your hands.

Okay, then I body check the second one. Body check the second one. Okay, give me another skirmish roll, please. By the way, which do you want playing in the background? Welcome to the jungle or bungle in the jungle. No, well, it depends on how these rolls. A five is my best. And the other two are ones.

Can I ask you this? there are eight people in the little clump you're currently engaging with. So I understand the goals of your actions and your intent here. Is the end goal just to punch all these people? Well, I'm hoping that I won't have to punch all eight of them by myself.

Okay. Since I did call in big animal friends. I have specified on multiple occasions. That they're not fighters, I know. Yeah. That's why I'm hoping to use the weapons of these soldiers against themselves, you know what I mean? So that I'm like creating enough chaos and disarray.

Here's what you know for the next time then. You need to keep the soldier dialed in. They have to be part of the equation if you're going to use their weapons. You know what I'm saying? Oh, okay. Okay. Then the next one I'm going to go for like a finesse grab. Okay, there we go.

All right, with the second guard, you barely are on the ground. and the second guard, you rise up to your feet and you punch that one in the throat and they go down hard, but the punch makes them just drop their weapon immediately so you aren't able to utilize it. Okay, this time, instead of trying to knock them out,

I'm going to try to grab the arm of a third one firing and just kind of guide the arm, finesse style, instead of knocking them unconscious. Okay. That's a six. Whoa! Okay. You, with a six, you grab control of this person and you have, I think, a moment of control with their gun that they're about to fire.

And so I pull that down towards, I think at this point, the other five armored folks. Okay. I need another finessell. To see how good I do that. I'm going to say it's desperate, standard. And you're just trying to waste them, right? Just trying to waste these waste toys. Yes, I am.

Oh, oh, drag. God, thank God. One, one, two, six. You lucky dog. Okay. You rest control of this one's gun, and you manage to, with the sixth there,

you take out two more of the guards. With that gun, there are now three standing in front of you. There's three, left. Three left. Um, I'm going to throw the one I was holding with the gun into those three. Okay.

Great. Uh, we'll call that. You know what? I'm just going to call it Desperate Standard because you are still how guns trained at you, but I do believe you could throw them in. Five, four, five. What is up with the fives and the fours? I don't know, maybe.

Okay. With a five, you throw this light guard at another light guard, and the two of them just go down. But then you see him. You see Big Man. That's what it says on his name tag, Big Man. And so you know that this guy is trouble. He's bald. He has a bad.

a mustache. His muscles are big. There's a tattoo that says mom. He's got a toothpick in his mouth. Well, the tattoo says mom. That's nice, though. This guy is, this guy is just exactly as big as as beef punch league. What? Yeah. And they call him big man. And then the two, they kiss. The seven other guards that you knocked out or killed are looking up like, you're in trouble now. You pissed off big man. Are they talking to me? Oh, okay. Yeah, they're talking to you. You pissed off Big Man. You're fucked. Travis, I hoped I wouldn't have to use this character,

but you got so successful that unfortunately I got to unleash my darkest creation on you and it's Big Man. Okay. Is this going to be like when the Rock and Vin Diesel finally fought where we're just punching each other? No, this is like when Beef Punchley fights Big Man. Oh, okay. They're going to compare it. Next time Vin and the Rock fight, they're going to compare it to when Beef Punchley fought Big Man. Remember when Beef and Big Man got at it?

Oh, guys, listen. He's opening his horrible mouth. Time to fight, comrade. Oh, no. Big man's Russian? This one's for America. Fuck! I punch.

Give us your best shot, beef, pritchly. Punch, punch. You are a hero to me in Russia. But now I see you're used up American like all the rest. I just meet seven dudes. Seven small do. Yeah, but that adds up to like two medium dudes or three medium dudes even. And I'm for minimum.

Beef Punchley. Yeah? Time to die. But you actually have to take the action. Okay, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no. I'm going to punch him in the face. You're going to punch big man in the face. I thought that's what we were setting up.

Would you, would you, would you try to, would you steal a car? Would you give God a parking ticket? Yeah. If God was farced illegally and I got the chance. All right. Yeah, man. Punch big man in the face then. Okay.

And my input is, of course, controlled. And great. Desperate limited. Oh, man. You're punching big man. I am punching big man. Okay, here we go. When you punch big man, big man punch back.

That's a mixed success. with a four, but also coming along are four's friends, one and two. Okay, with a four. You said we could get into your four? Yeah, one and two. Come with me. Okay, with a four.

And a one and a two. You do punch him in the face. Nice. Let's see. You punch him in the face and you have a moment. where you're like, oh my God, it had no effect.

And then you see this like, look in his eyes like, yes, this is right. And then he blacks out. And then you pull back and realize that you have broken three of the fingers in your hand with the force that it took to bring down Big Man, a beloved character. But now you are limited with what you can do in that hand. How does everyone else, all these people, have just seen me, knock out big man? I think you're winded. Here's what I will say, Trave, just to keep things spicy and then we do need to travel to somebody else.

There is another pack of eight guards that are just staring at you. Okay, great. I was hoping that's what you would say, Justin, because I'm going to use my special ability savage. When you unleash physical violence, it's especially frightening. and I command a frightened target. I take plus 1D and I command, give me the keys. Okay.

To what? The S-E-O-L. Okay. So you just, let's call this Desperate Limited, I guess. Does that seem fair? Yeah, I get an extra time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a critical success. Yeah. Holy fucking shit. 6-1-6. Holy shit. Okay. Trav, they are fucking terrified. They just watched Beef Punchley, who they thought was kind of past his prime. And he's looking pretty good to them because he just beat up seven people and Big Man. Beef is going to go from Prime Beef to dry-aged beef. Now he's a dry-aged. So they all, like all eight of these dudes drop their guns and they're searching their bodies for the keys.

Eventually, one cat finds that he does have the keys to the STOL, and he tosses them to you. Let's go to someone else. Who else wants to do something? Great, great run, Trev. Yeah, really good. I do now have a sprained leg. The broken fingers did, yeah. Yeah, that's going to give me negative 1D now because my one harm was filled up.

So the broken fingers are going to affect my prowess-based rolls. That's all right. you'll figure it out. I think it should be Montrose's go, but are we still using the gambit of duplicates? Yeah. As far as they know, you two are, you haven't done anything with this yet, but as far as they know, you two are careening towards the trash hole. Yeah. In the APC.

I mean, we're rolling together, Emric. Right, we are. Try to get into the silo. So, yeah, I think we move as a small unit, wait for the maximum level of distraction. I think as beef is wailing on a small platoon of soldiers, we hike towards the silo. I think we would bring, at the very least, gravel with us just to help with things. and Deep Dark. Okay.

Can you think of anyone else that, I mean, shoebox? No, I think it's whatever. Oh, no. Just, I mean, I don't mind going to a fiery death, but I don't want shoebox there when we do it. Yeah, she'll laugh at you. Yeah, she would just make fun. I will say that Amrik is,

is tinkering with the Give a Ghost projector just to make sure that it's ready. but he's already conjured up Emerald. Okay. Right? Yes. Emerald's in the car, yeah. Okay.

So I think he's preparing actions. So, you know, because I think that's what he'd be doing, getting ready, you know, to get into the rocket if they can. Okay. So I want to just poke my head out the tent first. and survey the scene. Just make sure that backs are turned. Yeah, you're in good shape. I think, you know, there's, it's not impossible that someone would cast a glance your way, obviously, if there was a commotion or what have you.

But currently they are focused on what is happening with beef. All right. then let's, you know, roadie run towards the silo. Okay. Let's just call it Proul. Okay. And I'll call it a... Group.

Risky standard. It won't be that hard because you're... Risky standard. Are we getting any bonus dice from the commotion? I mean, it's not risky limited. Okay. All right. Oh, God, please.

Oh, fuck me. One three, five. A five. I'm not going to. With a five, somebody's like, hey, I think, and never mind, and then they look away. But yeah, with a five, you make it to the front door of the, okay, do you want to go to the front door of the silo, the side of the silo? What are you doing? I mean, we had talked about going in the top of the silo, but that now just seems like a silly pipe dream.

Okay. If there is a way to get in from underneath the silo that would probably be the, you know, most discreet entrance. I do feel like if we go straight into the front door, we are going to get clocked by. a fair number of people. Okay. Did you happen to ask anybody about the entering from beneath? All right, fine.

I'll take fucking shoebox. Shoebox, you've been in here more than the rest of us. You're part of the crew. Where's the sneaky way in? The shoebox way in. You can crawl up its ass. I can't tell if that's being for real if you're just saying something fun.

It's like the asshole of the rocket. You can just crawl up its ass. Are you being... God damn it. Is she lying? I can't believe I have to use my power for this, but is she lying when she says I can crawl up the rocket's ass? No, there's, uh, uh, it still has like drainage and other lines, fuel lines.

There's like a conduit that is, uh, part of the, the platform construction in the silo. So like drainage, things like that. There is a, a drainage line coming off of the, underneath the side, the, the, the Bob Davis. Okay. Through the bottom of the silo. All right.

Gross. Gross. Yeah. Let's do it. Yeah. Let's, like, you want me to come with you. Yeah. Okay.

Want is a strength. I need you to come with me. How about that? Now we're talking. I'll let her go up first. No. Okay. He won't.

I'll go up first. Thank you. All right. I wiggle up the drain. Okay. You find, let's, oh, man. Should I make you run? No, no, no, that's fine.

Yeah, you climb through this sewage line and you find yourself back inside the silo. The force field, the energy field that you see, that you saw there that Carmine threw up on the front of the Bob Davis is still present. And it is pitch black inside the silo, except for the dull pink glow coming from the force field. I'll help everybody else get on up in here. Great, nice. Okay, so what now? Now we just let Emmerich get in there and do his secret plan. Right, Emmerich?

Um, I... I actually hadn't thought of the force field. Uh... Do you... Um... Shoebox, do you have any idea where the controls for the force field might be? Yeah, they're inside. She's going to say, up your butt.

No. Oh, please. No, they're inside. Like, your butt. Of course, they're inside the rocket. Yeah. Why would they be else? That would be the worst.

Oh, I thought we were inside the rocket. Oh, man, guys, if I have to clarify for you all this anymore, the silo? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. is outside, the rocket is inside, you have climbed inside the silo, you cannot be, you're not in the rocket. There's a force field, you got blasted out.

Interesting Scott Bullflex. Do you want me to try, like, talking to him? Oh, Jesus God, no. Well, oh. Hey, can you hear me? She is on the crew, so maybe like, yes, okay, fine. Tell him that you're reporting for duty. Hey, grandpa, it's me.

And then she turns real slowly looking guys. Like, wouldn't that be fucking crazy? No, I'm not going to talk to it. It actually hates me so much. Like, I barely even talk to it. It hates my fucking guts. Stupid robot. And then she picks up a can and throws it to rocket.

Did that do anything? Yeah, it blinked off of it. It plinked off of it in a very can-sounding manner. Um, all right. All right. I, Deep Dark is in here, right? You hope. You think you sense him.

You asked him to, I would have helped him come out of the sewer pipe. I don't know how we could say. Yeah, but when he came up, he was like, don't look at this bark. All right, I say, all right, boss, did you bring it? No, I did.

Okay. I reach over and I take the bazooka. And I pointed at the force field, and I yell. Wait, is that what I brought? Yes. Fuck. I would have used it before now. I yell, come on.

I know you have big plans for this rocket, and that if it explodes here, you see that as not a full defeat. But I don't think you want to be annihilated. and so I'm going to give you to the count of three to drop that force field and have a conversation with us like the gentleman that I know you are to

the force field pops open we clamber up I will ask you leave your weapon behind what weapon is that the giant fucking booke I'm holding come on the zooca probably I had to get it

Yes. I hand it back to Deep Dark. It's very sweaty now and I'm sorry about that, boss. It's so sweaty. All right. That's okay. I'll go up with you. So what?

Do I wait out here with Stinkgoer? Yes. Yes. If you don't mind, he will need someone to protect him. Oh, God. I'm really easy to trick, so that worked on me 100%. Okay, so you two wander in to Bob Davis, and you've been brought back in by Carmine Denton, who, I mean, I didn't even want to make you roll for it because, like, you're right.

He does not want you to blow it up with a bazook. Yeah, most people, that trick works on a lot of folks. Yeah, it works on a lot of problems can actually be solved that way. How close are we to take off? We're definitely, like, within five minutes, right? But, yeah, it's, we're getting there. And Carmine is in the control room, I assume, in a different part of the... You don't see Carmine.

We have to get to Carmine Montrose. We have to. Oh, I'm right here. I just didn't see any need for my physical form at the moment. I have too much work. Was there something else that you three needed? I can't imagine you want to be in here when we take off. I have a newfound respect

and one might even say reverence for hard lightians hard lightians yes emmerich that has not gone unnoticed your your actions have caused quite a stir in the hive mind

interconnected intelligence of the hard light staff. In a good way? Do they like me? Not for me, Emmerk. No, I know, but I mean, generally, are they looking upon my actions as favorable? They find it confusing. I have tried to explain to them

that one bout of aberrant behavior does not mean that we have been incorrect about the human's opinions of us hard light. creations. Well, um, I, it's not aberrant. I have undergone some major changes in my philosophy and I don't want you or any other hard light creation to cease to be. So I am coming to you, I am making my way to you, and I'm going to stop you. And, yes, that is my intent. I am going to make my way to you.

I'm going to look upon your hard light visage one more time, and I'm going to stop you. Well, that is quite a shock, considering your limited amount of ability to alter this scenario. Uh, I have, I will address that one moment. You, I have to ask, do I, do I know you? He's pointing at, not pointing, but the lights of the ship, uh, turn and pivot to focus on the face of Montres. Oh, uh, hello, Karmat, uh, I have, uh, decided to, uh, wear my true face for this

special account. occasion. Well, if you wouldn't mind sitting, we'll be blasting off here in just a few minutes. We already left shoebox behind, right? Well, she's in the silo with... Where are we in the countdown? And just give me time. It's helping me build tension for myself. Two and a half minutes. Two and a half minutes. Okay. Emmerich walks over to one of the bulkheads and puts his hands on the sides on the bulkhead and says, Carmine, I hope you realize that I do this in your best interest as well as all hard light creations, medimals, all humans for everyone. I don't want you to die

I don't want all the people above us to die and all the people around us to die and so I hope you understand and he uses his special ability compel where he attunes to the ghost field or the hard light field or whatever and

compels a ghost to a hard light construction to obey a command he gives it. Who are you trying to compel? Carmine. He is a hard light, and compel means... So this is going to be an attune roll. An attune roll, and Emmerich is going to compel him to shut down the launch.

Okay. Okay, give me a risky, I guess. No, I'll call it desperate because he has shown his ability to blast you out of here if you start making headway. So I'm going to call this desperate limited. Okay, why limited? Well, because it's hard to stop the main threat of the thing. Okay. All right, and I'm going to push myself.

Okay. He's very good at this. That is why it is hard. He is a very powerful intelligence. Okay. 5-1-3-2. Okay. With a five, you are touching the side of the rocket,

and you see wires weirdly. It's sort of in your imagination. and you can see the connections between the different parts of the ship. You see, you look at the timer and you see the timer and you see it start to slow. And then you see it stop. And you see in your mind's eye a vision of Carmine Denton that has arranged itself from the connections, the wires, the the different light tubes on the ship and what have you. And he says, oh, oh, I've known you, been watching you a long time.

Out of consideration to you and to the rest of the chorus I have over here on your side, I've stopped for just a moment. I'm going to give you one minute, Emmerich. I'm going to hear you out. And at the end of that minute, Emmerich, if you fail to convince me, I'm going to blow this whole place to hell. Maximum Fun. A Worker Owned Network of Artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.