The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Steeplechase - Episode 8

Episode Date: December 8, 2022

The arcade employees divide and conquer to go after the Stealswell Diamond and their quarry beyond. Montrose says a little prayer, Emerich plays god, Beef crashes a party. Opening monologue performed by Autumn Seavey Hicks: https://www.instagram.com/autumnseaveyhicks/?hl=en Additional music in this episode: "tribute to eddy" by Jean Toba: http://jeantoba.media/en/; "Eat", "Sleep", and "Make Money" by Holizna: https://holiznaroyaltyfree.bandcamp.com/; Six" by Lex Villena: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2iwj2SqGnplhDIadeJ5bmy?si=N8WYSKIPR7WUy8z4ajNSog; Standard Jazz Bars" by Jason Shaw: https://audionautix.com/; and “Voyageur” by Monkey Warhol: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Monkey_Warhol/. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Hey, steepies! So we were invited to the exclusive unveiling of the newly renovated desk hotel in Gutter City, and we were blown away! We know a lot of you will be crowding into Mart's fine jewelers to sneak a peek at the Steelswell Diamond, or grabbing some of Hathaway's seasonal pumpkin spice geta, delish and nutritious, by the way. But trust us, you have to stop by the second floor bathrooms. Not only are the toilets charming and comfortable,

But the new vitrified pebble mosaic tile floor is incredible. Italian tile artisan Luca Espicita was brought out of retirement just for this showstopper, which he calls my final work, my masterpiece, my perfect floor. We never thought we'd see an original Especita floor with our own eyes, but luckily, we hear at Stevie Watch never know when to stop dreaming. Is the pollen broth. My throat has become so dry. Fetch me the pollen broth.

Shookles. Shugles fetch the pollen drop. I must weave. Oh, that's much better. Another chapter unveils itself to me and thus to you. I can't tell you're not in it. You're not allowed. That wasn't me.

That wasn't me. So badly to be in it, Justin. I know, but no one, I just have to have this one space that's just mine. Yeah, sure. That was Shugel speaking through me, Justin. I couldn't. Welcome to the Adventure Zone, Steeplechase. Episode 8, I am your game master, Justin McElroy.

You already know Travis and Griffin and Dad, of course. If you haven't listened to the previous episodes, welcome. What a wild choice you've made. You are on top of the roof of the dust. West Hotel. Who's up here? Montrose. Montrose is up here.

Montrose, you've just met Jacques Rouge. You're going to need to say that name two or three more times from your life. Jacques. Rouge. Red Jack. Got you.

Jacques Rouge. Got it. Hello. My name is Jacques Rouge. And if you listen to me, you may just survive the night. Oh, boy.

There's three. Three people up here with Jacques Rouge. And they are standing in a circle going over a plan. And then almost as soon as he says, if you listen to me, you may survive the night. One of these three silhouettes takes a misstep and begins to fall off of the roof. I catch them by the shirt, by the front of the shirt.

Thank you. Thank you. Vogel, please watch your step. Sorry, this is Vogel. Vogus... What is your name? New candidate. Well, my name is Wimberley, Good Party.

And... Oh, are we doing... Oh, I'm sorry. Are we supposed to do, like... Oh, okay, hold on. My name is the... The Phantom. I have stolen many treasures from the king, and I am...

Okay, it's a pleasure. It's a pleasure to meet you. Let me introduce the rest. The less we know about each other, the better it will make our hiding and disappearance. And the less we know, the less can be... Don't want to get pinched. So you know some of the lingogon. This is wonderful.

Let me introduce you. This you have already meant is vocal. Everyone in the group is wearing these cabby hats, and there is a mask that's black cloth just under their eyes and hanging down over their face. This is Vogel. Vogel tips his hat to you. This is Tonio. Tonyo tips his hat to you. And this is funny man.

Yes, it's me. funny man and I'm ready to do a crime with you. I have tried to tell funny a man this is not appropriate for the crime, but he insists that this character has, he has funny man. Well, it takes all kinds, doesn't it? It takes a village to steal. Yes, it takes all kinds to create a little bit of chaos. I am so sorry about Funny Man.

We have tried to speak with him about the secrecy of this operation, and he refused. Well, don't expect me to keep tabs on Funny Man, because I'm hard. I'll kill him. Whoa. If he gets out of line, he's toast, baby. Whoa. Wimberley is cold blood.

Did we, um, were we supposed to talk to someone about getting the hats? Oh, of course. Here, no one looked at what was it again? I said the phantom, but I regretted that immediately. I think just call me Wimberley. This is your name? Yes. But I'll get, I'll be honest with you.

I get confused. So if you call me something else, I might not get it. And if we're in the heat of the moment, I need to know when the boss is giving me orders. So Wimberley will do just fine. It actually makes sense, Griffin, because if you called yourself the fan, you would be on as near as I can tell, the fifth tier of obfuscation of your actual identity. Yes, sure, sure, sure. We are so many layers deep at this point. Yeah, we're going to go with Wimberley.

Wimberley. And it's a great name. Wimberley. Welcome. We are just about begin. I have laid out the plan. Wish to hear. Shall we begin?

Still waiting on that hat. Okay. Yeah, he digs into his pocket and gets out a hat and a mask for you to put on. He sprays it out like they do when they like loan out, you know, shoes at a bowling alley. I apologize. I did not think you would require a mask, seeing as you are already wearing a mask. But I suppose, I mean, I have the mask already. This is fine.

Thank you. Yeah, it's a, it's, uh, my mask has a mask attachment, so. Interesting. Like adding a smaller vacuum to a bigger vacuum. All right. So what's, what's the, um, wait, can I ask a question? Because I think I remember this from our first thing. We have like earpieces or something, right?

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, we're in communication. We have assumed, we have assumed communication between you guys, unless I say otherwise. I just think it's cleaner and it's so irritating that. Everyone does hear and then pretending they don't hear. Okay, so you are privy to this. So what's the plan? Am I the body? Because I did a little bit of gymnastics in high school.

The plan is you follow my lead and you do not die. Sounds good to me. You lead the way. I'm right behind you. Can we do a quick, quick prayer before we start? I pray to Loki, the God of chaos. Okay. Okay.

You can do that over there. behind the AC unit and we'll do a normal we'll do a normal prayer to Jesus Christ Please bless the chaos I'm about to create With his arthritis Dear Lord I love Funny Man

Dear Lord First off please help Lucky Please help Funny Man's uncle Jeff With his arthritis It sounds like it's really bugging him And let us have a good time today Have a great time keep us safe

And let us get away with this diamond Can you see Jacques Rouge walk to the edge of the roof and jump off? Oh, and sorry for the crime we're about to do. Okay, bye. Amen. I mean, I mean, not by. Amen. It's fine.

I know what you meant. I go and look over the roof and see where he just jumped. You see Jacques standing on a fire escape outside a window. You should all see the desk hotel. I think I've shown you a handout. I've pressed the button five times, so you may have five versions of it. Just once. just for you to have a reference here.

So here's the deal. I'm going to be conducting this from Jacques's perspective and conducting this heist as Jacques would do it. And as you know, whatever is supposed to happen here is scripted. You would know this. So I don't want it to feel railroady to you, but you have to understand there are tracks. Yes, does that make sense?

Yes, absolutely. relying on you all to, at any point you wish, to alter or deviate from the plan. Jacques is not in charge. He is here with, I mean, he is in charge within this, but like, you guys are the, you guys are the stars, right? Right. Yeah. Okay.

It's like a costumed murder mystery. I want to say, I am in love with this idea and I can't outlay. Yeah. Now, did we know the script ahead of time? You don't. Okay. You don't know. I mean, you know, you have some information.

because of the research that you have done, you know a little bit about it, but that is about the facilities. Does that make sense? Like less about the crime, but you know about the building that you're in, you learn that from scoping things out. I follow him, I would say, carefully

and foe clumsily down the fire escape. Now, Justin, I have one kind of, like situational clarification. Please. And I think that this question, the distinction between these two will make sense to you. Is this experience designed for the new in town person to be like an escape room where solutions are not obvious? Or is it made to be like a like sleep no more where, ah, the cue came from over there, that's the door, this is significant, right? I think you wouldn't necessarily know that when you signed up for it.

I think you're signing up for it like you would sign up for an excursion on a cruise. Okay. Participate in a thrilling heist. You know what I mean? Like, does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You lower yourself in the fire escape, Vogel, Funny Man, and Tonyo all follow. Who's the cute one?

Well, the ring masks. So, cutest butt is Tonyo. Best feet. VOL. Most likely to succeed. Funny man. You all lower yourself onto the, um,

the fire escape. I, I believe the window we require is this here. And he points at one of the windows, um, but it, and notices that it is,

uh, he tries to open the sash, uh, and, and it is, uh, locked. Yes,

this would have been too easy, I suppose. Um, I reached, in my backpack and pull out a brick. I have this. Hmm. Yes.

This should work. It should be fine. Is it, we should check for traps, though, huh? Check with the trap. What if the window has an, like, an bomb on it? This would make your brick idea very bad.

Ah, yeah. Anyone have any other thoughts in Zee brick? Zbrick was great, but... I love the enthusiasm. Hold on to it, you know? Oh, I have, um. Oh, man.

Yeah. A lot of voices. Welcome to the fun. I got something. That's Vogel. Okay, yeah. And Vogel reaches into his pocket and pulls out a glass cutter. It's circular and with a suction thing in the center.

It's like a suction cup with like a glass cutting device around it. Oh, yeah. I got this glass cutter from a friend of mine. I could use it on the window maybe because it could be rigged. If we make a big noise, it's not great, right? Yes, this is very wise of you. Let's try this. Have you used this before?

No, no, I've never tried it, but I'll give it a whirl. And Vogel goes over to the glass and puts the suction cup on it and starts cutting. Can I take a look at the glass and start cutting? a look at the glass and use my keen thieves senses to see to see if I detect any wires, any stuff that might give us away here. Yeah, why don't you use a survey? Survey, yeah. Position.

Risky, because he's about to do it. Okay. But it is standard. Okay. No bonus dice. We'll just see what happens Straight up and down one roll That's a four

It's a mixed success You Let's see With the mix success You do see that there is That the thing is trapped However it took you long enough To make that assessment

That you can't stop Vogel Before he starts cutting Okay So you see him spinning Slowly slowly, slowly, and then eventually cuts a circle in the glass, a perfect circle,

and pops it out with the suction cup. And there's a small hole. I'm the smallest of the group. I should be able to reach it and unlock it. Why don't, I would actually, I feel like this is my calling. I think I can do this.

Well, let's flip for it. Okay. Do you have a coin? I do not. I have a brick. Well, go ahead then. Okay, call the brick in the air. One of these sides is a little bit rougher than the other.

No, just go ahead and open it. What's more chaotic than changing my mind? Okay. I'm going to reach into the hole on this window on the... What floor are we on? Second. Second floor on the east side of the building. And I'm going to put my hand.

end in the hole and I'm going to look out for any traps that might be here and then I'm going to open the window from inside and try not to set off any traps here I go that seems directed at someone but who um I want to do a flashback to positioning stuff okay um so we have Benson there uh and I who's Benson remind him he's the asset that uh beef procured and paid extra to not be a complete dunce for help with the job. Ah, Benson, yes.

Yes. And I think role one for Benson is to be an external scout across the street. Okay. Keeping an eye on the side of the building and radioing to the rest of us

anything that he sees. And I think I can't speak to where Montrose is, or Emric, but I think beef is going to be is there like an event happening at the hotel during this? Hmm. You know what?

Actually, with your, with the role that you did last time where you did some like intelligence gathering, there is a wedding happening tonight in the Hall of Mirrors. You do know that that is happening. It's a wild fucking thing. place to get married. No, it's a beautiful space.

Yeah, man. You want to see it? And plus, with the mirrors, you can decorate less and it will seem fuller. Yeah. Here, there's the hall mirrors. It's like a beautiful, it's a beautiful event space. And there's what looks to be windows all around, but they're actually mirrors, which gives the illusion of like more light in there and it's open.

It's really beautiful. Which floor is that on? That is on the first floor. Yeah, so I'm going to say that beef. is insinuating himself as a wedding guest. It's going to be a wedding crusher present at the wedding. Bees at the wedding. Perfect.

Emric, let's establish your position where you are at. I think Emmerick has just been wandering around, kind of casing the joint. I think he's been actually looking for hard light projections to, you know, now with his ghost-mind ability to just kind of sense where they are. So I think he's just been doing a general canvas through the hotel because when you're wearing coveralls, people assume you are supposed to be there.

And I think he's been kind of waiting for the, oh-so-settled signal that Montrose just gave. And on hearing that makes his way up to, I'd say he makes his way up to the second floor on the east side. Okay. I don't know. You've just made up east and west. This is all great.

I don't know. I'm not going to keep track of that, but you can go up to the second floor. You're up there. It's like, this is like offices. You know, like this is how the place functions.

So you've got on the upper level, there is the sort of like offices, the stuff that makes the hotel work, right? The lower level is the public areas, right? Shops, restaurants, smarts, fine jewelers, Hathaway Diner, the Hall of Mirrors, all the first level. And then the underbelly, the basement level, would be where you know that the trucks and what have you are.

So you're about to reach in to open the window. What are you going to do something in Merck? So Montrose can hear him, right? Wimberley, can you be a little more specific about which room you are trying to enter? Uh, dear Lord, I am about to open this window. I want to feel your presence in the room. Uh, and it's on the corner of the building, Lord. So if you can occupy that space on the east side of the building, Lord.

I know, I don't, I'm new to this, Lord. I don't know if you need sort of specific. We have to move. Okay. Emery goes to that room. Okay. Emmer, judging by the number of windows that he went, and it's dimly lit up here, there's not a lot. Most of the staff is working the wedding, so there's not a lot of people up here.

But, so you're sort of like casually walking down the hall, because you don't want, I know that you don't want to draw attention to yourself. And when you pass the room that he is about to open the window to, what you see is three guards who are sitting and monitoring the events that are going on throughout the hotel. The technology that you see there, I'll go ahead and show this to you guys too. This is not gutter city tech. Wow. This is a security office that they are about to enter.

Is it tech like we've seen in Steeplechase before? You wouldn't have seen much of it, no. But you know enough about the world to know that this is not a, this is not for show. This is not part of show. And they're about to climb through a window into this room? Unless somebody does something. Abort, abort.

This is whatever deity it is you're pretending to pray to. But it's really me. Amrik, you do not go through this window. Do not go through the window. I pull my hand out. My hand burns, which I think is a sign from the Lord, that this is not actually the right room for us to be breaking into right now. And I am going to be adamant about this.

I think maybe a different means of entry would be prudent. You would have also seen, by the way, Ameri, as you were walking through the hallway, you've also seen that right before this guard station, there was a bathroom. Okay. May I suggest you choose the window off to the side, to the other side of the corner?

Yeah, that sounds great, Lord. So if we look, actually, I don't want to be a bossy-rosy, but if we go down a couple windows there, there's a restroom facility that I think would be a much smoother entry point. You've passed my first test. Excellent. Oh, great. Yes, I wanted to see what you were made of. The bathroom. Yes, it would make a much more fitting entry point.

Let's try that. Vogel, if you will be so good. Yeah, no problem. No problem. And Vogel goes over to the other window and does the exact same thing again. Are they like on a balcony of some sort? They are on a fire escape. Great, great, good, good, great. And they are as yet unnoticed.

As yet? Okay, good. The security guards rolled over here on my side and they did not notice the glass going out. So, you're good. In the Hall of Mears, I want to set myself up for success Do it I like cutting back and forth

We don't need to see Vogel open that up again If you want to do something, do it I want to find Like the grandfather of like the bride or groom I want to find like An old slouchy man You want to find an old souchy man At this wedding? Oh, Trave

You got your pick, bud There's several old slochy men Who's the slouchiest? Oh, God, Trave, that's slouchy is hard to quantify. I mean, are they just a few? I mean, like, stoopy. Oh, you want stoopy. That's a word I heard before.

Stoopy, slouchy. Yeah. He stooped, he slouched. Okay. Bad posture. Bad posture. Okay. Yeah, you see him.

He's sitting by himself at one of the tables while everybody else is slow dancing to a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square. in the center of the room, you see just this old being maybe like staring into his whiskey glass and slouching for days. I mean, this slouch, forget about it. I'm going to approach him.

I'm going to sit next to him. Yeah, what do you want, big guy? Hey, friend. Couldn't help but notice over here. Wait a minute. I know you. Yes, that's right. It's me.

Beef Punchley. I was about to, I remember it. The mountain of meat. Yep, the slam and slab. America's ham. Beef punchly. All right. Now, I'm drink-drinkly, and I'd like you to leave.

Well, let me tell you, friends. Let me tell you. I noticed, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way. You've got yourself some posture issues. Yeah, well, that's the last thing on my mind right now. Oh, my friend, you don't realize the connection that the way you hold your body goes with the way you hold your mind. Wow, that seems like a lot of new age bullshit to me.

No, I understand that you're upset. But trust me, listen, I'm recently, recently... This is why I don't prepare. It's good. What's the point of preparing? Tras is going to be like, I want to teach this guy over here, the Alexander... Yeah, right? You got to think lengthening.

Think lengthening. You don't actually have to do it. I've recently set up at Punching Stuff, the gym downtown. I'm working as a personal trainer. And listen, with just like one or two sessions, I think I could fix a lot of your issues. Trave, I want you to roll for consort, I think, or persuade. What do you think? Persuade, right?

Persuade. Yeah, I'm going with, yeah, I'm going with sway. Sway, thank you. I forgot the word. Sway. The danger here is that if this doesn't work out, he's going to start to get, like, it's going to be a little weirder that you're here. Okay.

So, risky? You are already someone who is not the easiest to sneak around, right? Correct. So your presence is going to be more notable if this doesn't work. Is it risky, though? It is risky, yeah. You know what? I'm actually going to say this is controlled because if it doesn't work, you could

theoretically try again, and that's my metric. So we're going to call it controlled standard. That was a three and a two. And it's a zero dice roll, so it's a two. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, beef, says it loud. Listen to me, beef. I don't need to fix my posture.

I'm doing just fine over here. Okay, listen, I absolutely understand. This one's for free. Just keep your chin up. You know what I mean? Keep your chin up. And beef demonstrates, lifts his chin up, looks at him. Like, just like,

That's You kind of list his chin up. This is better a little bit. Okay, just remember that and beef walks away. Okay. Smart to not push your luck there. Yeah. Do you have something else you want to do right now

or do you want to pan away to somebody else? That's all I wanted to do. Okay. Griff, are you going to try to open this Windows hash? Can Amarik do something first? Please. Okay. Amric pulls the lower part of his cow up

so that it's covering his mouth and nose. Okay. And uses the give a ghost projector to make a very rudimentary looking plunger. And he's going to stand outside of the bathroom door and say, Oh, oh, I don't know what that person had for dinner, but, who, that's nasty in there. I'm afraid I can't let anybody in until we get this all straightened out. Okay.

So dad is announcing that the bathroom is closed to no one. You don't know. You never know. I want you to tell me, the only room you know has people in it is the room with three guards. I need you to tell me that you're going to go in the guard room and tell him that can't use the bathroom. No, no. He's just going to position himself outside. Who are you talking to, right?

It's a prepared action to tell people that someone. drop the doce so stinky and dense that the plunger couldn't handle it and if they go in there they're in danger. I'm just trying to keep anybody from discovery of the window. I'm not going to make you roll for this because you're not necessarily talking to anybody.

The guards may have heard you talking out there and one might come to investigate. Is that what you want to happen? I need to know your outcome. I want him to be positioned there so that if anybody comes up, he can keep somebody from coming in the bathroom while the crew is coming through the window.

It's like when you're at a bar and there's no doors on the stalls, and so you get a bro to stand in front of the bathroom. What I need you guys to do for this, if you can, is to think in terms of goals rather than actions, right? If I know what you're trying to do, then I can facilitate. Well, my goal is to keep people from interrupting them as they're coming through the window. Okay, perfect. Thank you.

I don't think you have to roll against that right now. It's just a guy with a plunger, and there's no one trying to use the body. So you're fine right now. If there's a hole in the door, I'm going to open the sash. Or if there's a hole in the window, I'm going to open the sash. You open the sash and silently, and you sneak in through the, or I guess, do you go through the window? Yeah, I don't mind going first.

I don't really. After what just happened, where they're like, first things first, let's break into the security office with the arm guard. I know now not to trust to anybody here. So I do not mind taking point. Okay. You wish to take the lead. Go right ahead, Wemberley. Okay.

Make sure you don't step in the bowl. Don't fall in. And I climb in through the window. And I think the rest of the guys lower themselves in here as well. Okay. So what's the plan? Are we party guests? Are we, this is a hotel.

Could we not have just walked in the front door? no we are going down you notice that the bathroom has like tiles on it uh and one is loose as if someone has been in here working on this for a little while one is loose and uh you hear him say donio remove the the panel Antonio comes with a knife and he starts digging out the the panel. And he so far is doing it pretty quietly, but it's not the fastest work. So you're just sort of watching him carve one of these tiles out. Tiles are probably like two by two, if that gives you a frame of reference for how big we're thinking here.

The lights are still off. Two inches? Two feet. Okay. The lights are off in here? Mm-hmm. Okay. They were off in the security room, too.

but the way the monitors were oriented, you couldn't see that through the window. But luckily, as Amrik saw, you guys didn't fall right into that situation. Okay. Can I give you a little bit of help? Tonyo? Tonyo nods. Tonyo doesn't talk. Okay.

Isn't that weird? Convenient. That's pretty wild, yeah. You hit the three-voice limit, man. Three-voice limit. Tonyo don't talk. Look. What have you learned from listening to The Adventure Zone?

Well, sometimes you can just make a completely silent character. Well, it was brilliant. I love it. That's great. I pull out a really cool knife. And I start to... And you see Tonyo look at your knife and he gives you like a thumbs up, like cool knife. It's actually like a like a, what's the tiny katana?

Like a tiny katana? a wakasashi Wakisashi Sure Yeah yourself whatever you want I pull one of those out of my sleeve

Add that to your to your load please Yeah Because you went in normal Yeah true Okay I'll add that to my load No I went in light You win in light

I don't mind spending One of my load On a small katana And I start to help pry it off Okay And you are helping to pry it off Unless somebody else is doing

something right now we are, we'll just let that proceed. Okay. And you have carved out a hole in the tile. And you lift the tile up and beneath you see, I mean, exactly what you would expect to see, right? There's joists, there's some plumbing, but there is enough sort of room that you could shimmy into this space underneath the bathroom floor. Okay. So we're just supposed to climb into this hole into sort of the gully works, the building, and climb down.

Where are we trying to get to, Jacques? We are trying to reach Mart's fine jewelers. It is on the lower level, and if my calculations are correct, we will be lowering ourselves directly into the jewelry store. So this little passageway goes down. directly to the jewelry store. This is my understanding if our contacts are good. Okay. And our inside people are reporting correctly.

I have, and these men, I trust him to the ins of the earth. These are my most trusted advisors. And they have told me we're going to lower directly into the jewelry store. And I feel like I'm gilding a little bit. A little bit, considering. I'm going to go ahead and stop talking. Yeah. Do I know, like, I feel like I should be able to cross-reference this with the pre-pro that we did on this job to know if that's remotely fucking true.

Or if this is going to lead us down into like the KB toys that's down there or another sub-security station. I can't just let you know the whole layout of the whole thing or you would have known that that was not the security office. that was the, it was, that's fair, that's fair. That's a good point. But I could, maybe if some, I, here's what I'm going to justify it. You guys do have this institutional knowledge. You are somewhat disoriented because you are, you know, you have come in from the roof and everything's backwards.

But if one of your partners could assist, that would probably help you to get your, help you to locate. Okay. Dear Lord, if you could move down. Braying. Always was it braying. Well, it worked out the first time, didn't it? So if that doesn't make a true believer out of you, I don't know.

well. This is fair. So yeah, we're gonna, dear Lord, if you could, we're good on the bathroom. You can leave the bathroom, Lord. First level, we're gonna climb right down. Just, I don't know really how to pray for this, but if you could just really make sure that we are directly above March fine jewelers, that would be great stuff for me. Thank you, Father.

You pray all you want, but my God says it's time to go. And funny man starts lowering himself into the hole. If you're going to do something, you need to act quickly. You probably already have a favorite animal. Maybe it's a powerful apex predator like the tiger or a cute and cuddly panda. And those are great. But have you considered something a little more unconventional? Could I perhaps interest you in the Greenland shark, which can live for nearly 400 years?

Or maybe the jewel wasp who performs brain surgery on cockroaches to control their minds? On just the zoo of us, we review animals by giving them ratings out of 10 in the cat. of effectiveness, ingenuity, and aesthetics. Listen with friends and family of all ages to find your new favorite animal with just the zoo of us on maximum fun.org or wherever you get podcasts. Oh, I'm a stuff it dowager countess. Travis? I'm judging everybody's manners. Oh, no.

Schmaners isn't judgy. It's about teaching you to be your best self and be a little more confident when you into your social situations that you don't understand. And maybe also teach you a little bit about history to know. Or give you interesting things to talk about at parties. Yeah, like the secret life of Emily Post. Or like why wrist watches are the way that they are. We can talk about table manners from the Victorian era.

Sure, or what it's like to attend a Regency Ball. Yeah. You can find all that and more if you listen to Schmaners on maximum fun, wherever your podcasts come from, I guess. Manner Schmaners. Get it? Benson. Uh, Benson.

Come in, Benson. Benson. Yeah, what's going on? From their positioning... It's cold out of here. You didn't tell me it would be cold. I did. I told you to wear a jacket and you said, A light flannel will be fine.

And I said, no, it's not. This is... Anyways, I want you... So from their positioning where they went in through the window, are they directly above the fine jewelry store? The lights are off. It's real hard to tell. Okay, but just look at like the signage on the window

because they would have displays outside... like on the front of the window. Just look at the positioning. I thought they would, but they don't. Dan, so. Can you, can you, can you, can you, I just can't tell which room is which. Um,

get closer and look. He's on the roof of the adjoining building. You stationed him in an exterior place. I, I station him on ground level. I want him, like, standing across. If he's up on the roof, then he's in a position. Okay, so you station him on ground level. The problem, he could do.

this. The problem is he doesn't know which room is the jewelry store. And there really is no signage outside. This is not a situation of Benson being a dunce. This is... No. Okay. And the ground level, like, the shop would not be a... Think Trave, like, more like a shopping, like a...

Like, you know what it is. I mean, it's, it's the Netherland Plaza, right? Oh, okay. Got it got it. It's not necessarily the signage outside. It's more of an interior, like, shopping area. If that, if that makes sense. Like you'd see on a cruise ship, for example, if that, if that's another frame of reference. Okay, Benson, um, um, can you, can you, is there anybody in the jewelry store? He's signal or something?

Emrick starts running for the lobby downstairs. Okay. Emmerick's running for the lobby. And he did that as soon as Montrose said his most recent prayer. Okay. Emric, I know where you're going, so let's say you're there. You're outside the March fine jewelers. Okay.

Amr, can you shine a light through the windows or something? Like anything that Benson would be able to see from outside? Ah, yes. I think I can. Do you think I should? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yes, of course.

And, okay. All right, orient me a little bit, Jews, because I've got an idea. You're outside the jewelry store. The jewelry store is closed. The lights are all shut off. Do you want to see what you see? Hold on. I'll show you what you see.

Yeah, let me see. Fucking cool. If you like cool, shit. I was so excited to find this image. Oh, wow. Oh, okay. So just to describe for you, it's a black and white tiled floor. There are, it's all black painted wood and there are glass display cases.

There's one central case, and then there's a door to the back area. Can you see that between the glass cases are? There's an area to the back, and then there's the glass cases there. It looks like the jewelry is lying in state for an extended period of morning. Yes, that is a great vibe. Absolutely. But that's what you see. Emmerk, you don't see the lights on, obviously, but it's pitch black in there.

But there's also, there's not an exterior window in this image, but there's an exterior window that Benson could see through. So this is a store in the interior of the hotel. Correct. Right? Yes. And so Emric is standing outside of it, but he's inside the building looking into the jewelry store. You understand exactly.

Yes, that's it. Is there a window or anything else that I want him to use to give a ghost projector to just create something as a visual cue to Montrose, but I'm trying to figure out where exactly to do that. You know what I mean? You have a direct line of sight to Benson from where you are at. If there wasn't like a gate there and stuff like that, there's like a, there's a, like a metal divider, right? So you can see into it, a metal cage like, shutter. Shutter, thank you. And then there's an exterior window you are like six feet from. And on the other side of that window down at the street level is Benson.

Okay. So Emrick is going to project just a very rudimentary hand in hard light. Okay. Pointing back at the jewelry store from outside. Okay. Does that make sense? Yes. Okay.

Just a great big bling, blink, blink, blink, thumb up. Okay. Now, here's what I would say, though. You could create a hard-lite projection, but I don't know how you would manifest it in an area you can't get to. Because it's based around having a prism. So you couldn't get it. You said I was line of sight, though, right? You have line of sight to Benson.

Yeah, but you also have to physically get, would have to get the prism to. It doesn't teleport or float. It's hard light. So, like, you could make something, but it has to be you have to put it there. Do you understand what I'm saying? like you can't just like create it out of nowhere. You would have to get the prism outside. Oh, okay.

Just, just stop overthinking. Just do it. Just simple. All right. So I assume he with relative ease can get outside? Who? Emric. Sure, yeah.

It's going to take too long though. If you heard funny man say that through the thing, you know that you have a very small amount of time. And Emmerich just turns on his flashlight from outside the jewelry store and beams it right through. So there's a beam of light. And he's moving it all around, hoping that Benson is smart enough to not think it's, you know, a poltergeist. Several things happen at once. Benson, see, hey, there's like a, I see a light in one. Is that the jewelry store?

Yes. Wait, beef said that? I don't know. I would beep. I don't know. Actually, Trowb, you would see. So let's say yes. You could see from where you're at.

The public level is very open. Sure. You saw that. Sometimes it's hard for me to correctly gauge how long it's been since someone has said something. So the time between you asking and me saying yes felt like forever waiting for someone else to speak first. I understand. And I have no idea how long it actually was. Yeah, that's right below the bathroom.

Okay. Oh, okay. So we're, uh, the Lord says we're good to go on this one. Are we sure we want to let Funny Man take point on this? He's already in. In fact, Funny Man seems to have got himself stuck. Oh, man. It's funny.

Oh, funny man. Uh, I say, God, Jesus Christ. Ow, ow, ow, ow. Ow, God, this hurts. Well, that's, yeah. This isn't, guys, this isn't for the thing. Guys, this isn't for the thing this hurts.

Um, I'll help. Somebody, come on. Come on. I'll lean into the hole and try and help him out. Try and pop. Ow, you're hurting my leg. Ow! He seems to be giving a little bit, but he's really saying it hurts.

I'm stuck on a pipe. Okay. Well, I try to get in there to get him loose. I don't know. I want a free, I want a free funny man. While this is happening, because I can hear this through the headset.

Yeah. I'm going to try to make my way over to the DJ and surreptitiously turn up the, like, trip, and turn up the music. Oh, okay, that's fun. Let's do that real quick. So your hope is to try to turn up the music. How are you getting rid of the DJ?

I'm going up to ask for a DJ. to request a song. Okay. And I'm gonna fake a trip and push up the sliders. Push up the volume slider. Do you have, do you have,

who let the dogs out to? The sequel that finally answers the eternal, whoa! All right, Trabb, let's call this, let's call this finesse. Yeah.

Who let the dogs out to? Who let the dogs out to? Is the Rosetta Sto. It answers the eternal question who let the dogs out. And the song, is six seconds long and it's just like Michael and it was it's Michael who let the dogs out but it was number one of the charts for two and a half years we love it all right

trav let do a do a finesse roll again similar situation for you I think the stakes remain if this goes badly then you will raise your your profile here and make this harder for yourself so is it controlled because I could try again or there's like risky. I mean, it's one trip, but if you trip twice, that would be pretty weird. That's a four.

Mixed success. Okay. You do, so you trip, you crank up the volume, and it gets extremely loud. And you just hear like, Oh,

Nightingale sang in Barclay. It's, layer it's so loud but the DJ's like what the hell and it is rushing over to help you but it it has worked for the for the moment when I hear that I know it now's my time to make to try and you know kick a pipe loose or do something to so you get what are you just giving him like the hardest shove you can yeah I don't care about his well-being I just want him to shut up and so uh I I'm just trying to yank him out of the pipe okay great um But you know what?

I'm not going to make your role for this. Just you're with Travis solve the problem. Yeah. For you. So you give him a hard shove and funny man falls in. And so he's, he's, he's shoved him so hard.

Actually, I am going to make your role for it, Griffin. I was going to say this. Okay, so my goal is to get a funny man out in a way that doesn't hurt him and make him louder than the music. And you've, normally I would tell you the wrists involved, but you've outlined them perfectly. Yeah, okay.

Finesse. I mean, it's a, what do you guys? I mean, it depends on how you're trying to do it. Yeah, I'm trying to. Okay, you're trying to finesse him through. That's fine. Yeah, that works.

Okay. Risky standard. Oh, fuck. That's a one and a three. One and a three. God, rip funny man. Okay. Three's a failure, right?

Yeah, bud. Okay. Here's what happened. You managed to shove Funny Man down through the hole. but you shove with such force that Funny Man not only goes unstuck but falls through the ceiling

into Mart's fine jewelers God damn it You don't see what happened to Funny Man But it sounded bad Luckily No one has heard it Right because of this Travis's cover

But that is the situation Well I guess the floor is not trapped. That's the good news. Let's go. And I climbed down the hole. Okay. Vogel, Tonio, and uh, excuse me, Jean-Rouge, follow you. Um, and it is dark in here, really, really dark. You see in the middle of this, in, in that sort of island, there's like a large glass case. But you can tell this is where the Steelswell diamond would be. It is not. It is not. not right now. You see in the one area that does not have a display case, you see a metal gate.

And behind the metal gate, you see a safe door that has a keyhole in the center. Is there any other means of opening it? Or is it just the lock? There's no dial. There's no. It's just. It would be insane if there was anything else. Yeah.

Okay. No. This is, this may seem insurmount. Oh, first, let's check on Funny Man. Sorry about that, buddy. I guess I don't know my own street. He is unconscious. Oh, okay.

That's not great. Could be worse. There's definitely a state worse than that. Well, it looks like we don't have to draw straws to see who the pouts he's going to be. Right? It's funny man. He's going to go away for a long time. And just like that, I'm down to two voices.

Fantastic. I pull out my small, I pull out my small katana. Should I finish him? so he doesn't, you know, turn, you know, state's witness? I can't make this decision, Jacques. You need to make it for me. Am I going to snuff out this life? I do not think this is necessary at this moment.

Okay. Leave him here. Let him take the fore. You say the word, and I will be your dark avenger. He's just a dog chasing cars. You would kill this man? You would kill this man? funny, funny man?

I've from, which is a word from me? If it means that I, nothing bad happens to me. Uh, of, uh, yeah,

of course, I'm a dirty dude. All right. I wink at him. You have shown me your loyalty and I shall not forget this. Thank you. I'm going to walk in and go get the diamond now.

Uh, so you see, um, Jacques Rouge, uh, take a step that this black and white tile Yeah. This is the sales area.

You are in more of a lobby that is not, lobby is sort of overstating it, but there is a sitting area, probably where the actual purchasing would go. You know, this isn't like the fancy part. This is like the, let's sit down here and I'll swipe your credit card or what have you here.

Yeah. I don't know they would have credit cards yet. You get the idea. Your magic band. Bill of sale, whatever. But he is about to, walk into the sales area. Can we say a quick prayer first?

It's been going great for, I know that you have your reservations, but, uh... I wish, I want to contradict you, but it has been going extremely well. Yeah. Okay, so just real quick, dear Lord, we're about to go a little bit deeper into this jewelry store that is closed. Someone fell through the ceiling and smashed into the ground. No alarms went off, which makes me feel maybe a fault. sense of security.

And I would love to know if we are going to be walking right into the mouth of the lion, which I think is a biblical reference. Let's flashback, Trav. Yes, yes. To you going through this building. You obviously would have, when you were doing your fake, what was it your cover? The fake sweep that I was looking for any holes in their security that they hadn't thought about yet. Okay, extremely good.

Trav, do you want to use the information that you gathered previously? Yes, I do. I was about to prompt that. Okay. So I think especially as I came in to the, I'm going to flashback to that, like going in and doing the sweep, looking for like the weaknesses and stuff. Because I think in the, because they just did the renovations and a lot of that was like upping security here, right? Right. And so I think that it would have made complete sense for that to be like the major.

focus and I did good on the roll. I got a six, if I remember correctly. Yeah, it was great. I think, like, I'm talking with whoever the security guy. Let's do a quick scene. Let's do a quick scene. So, as you can see, sir, we've got things pretty well locked up here at Mart's Fine Jewelers. It's pretty much the safest store in all of Gutter City, I should think, and with a beautiful

stone like the Steel's Well, Diamond, and we've got to, can't be too careful. Yeah, but it just sits. there in the middle of the room. Isn't that a concern? Oh, well, it does during the day when we're got all the staff, but at night, things get much more difficult. It like gets locked behind a door or something? Oh, not just that. Let me show you. So what, uh, this helpful man at March Feingler shows you is that the diamond is stored in the vault. The vault is sealed. and you cannot enter the vault obviously without a key

and he says and then look at this and then he flips a switch and there is a layer of light being projected across the floor not beams like waves of light that are there that could be

triggered if anyone steps onto the floor even for a moment this place will go up light sirens the whole thing It's quite a thing. And the vault itself, oh, forget about it. No one could get in here.

Without some sort of direct assault on this lock and who could get to it. Without some sort of direct assault on this lock, this thing is absolutely impenetrable. So I assume that this is all powered off-site or locally. Like, you always have to be careful with stuff like that. Here's the best part. I mean, this has got her city. It's all mechanical. And then he shows you this panel.

And over here, on the wall in the room that they are in, there is a gray box, Trave. And it is, this is a state of the art alarm system completely vibration proof. You can touch, jostle, nudge, even the slightest, slightest bump. And this thing will, again, go off like wild. And it's complete. There's no electricity involved, completely mechanical. I have an idea. Yeah, all this information has been passed on.

Yeah, of course. Yes, yeah. I say, wait, uh, wait, just a second before you do that, this is going to call for a real, real heavy prayer, real big ups to the big man. So if we could all just sort of get down, everybody just sort of take knee, we'll put our arms around each other's shoulders, do a quick huddle, eyes closed, and, uh, I'm going to ask for some real divine intervention on this one, okay? For them to seed that kind of control to you, you're going to need to sway them. Yes. I'm going to push myself because I really need this to work.

I'm going to take a couple stress on that one. Roll sway. What position am I in here? Oh, my friend, I'm going to call it risky and standard. You're just convincing people. but you do need to do it. Okay, I'll take a bonus dice. Oh, can I take another bonus dice for the flashback?

Acting on that information. Is that a thing? I mean, when you take a flashback, typically, doesn't it give you a bonus dice? Yeah, that's true. You are acting on the other information. Yes, take a bonus dice. I don't know how, yes, yes, yes. The knowledge that you have is making you more confident.

Yeah. Which is making this way easier. Okay. Yes, 6246. Wow. So that's a critical. That's a critical. Oh, yes.

Fuck yes. Okay, Griffin, with a crit, they are... With a crit, you're calling the shots. Okay. All right, so you three... You've converted them to Christianity. Great. If we...

There is something about you. I would trust you to the end of the earth. Right. Great. That's awesome. And heaven, I hope. So let's just, if you all, tell you what, do a quick huddle over our...

Over the body of Funny Man. eyes closed so tight or the prayer won't reach his ears. And once I notice that they are all in that position, I'm going to discreetly open the door for Emmerick to sneak in here and disarm the alarm the alarm box. Because I sure as shit can't do that shit myself. Griffin, they're all kneeling down and you go over to the gate and you pull on it to open it up for Emmerich. but you find that shockingly

the gate is locked okay is there a visible lock on it yeah it's a padlock at the bottom okay I pull out my lock pit kit

oh Lord I know you can hear me I know you can hear us and I know that crime is not your favorite but and as I cough I try to unlock the padlock with my,

my burglary gear, which is the second. Okay. Finesse? Uh, what position have I in here? Oh, it's desperate. Yeah, good. Um, wait, am I on the other side of this gate?

You are. Would it be, is it something I could help him with by trying to work on the other side of the lock at the same time? Oh, this is a good point. A lock is tinker, right? That ain't finesse. Yeah, it's tinker.

Well, then how about I assist you? And the lock would be on Emmerick's side. Wouldn't make any sense to lock it inside the gate. True. The lock would be on Emrick's side. Then how about if Emric unlocks it? Or tries to unlock it. Go for it.

Okay. And I think you, I'll say this is Emmerk's tinker roll. Mantras, if you could figure out a way to make it easier on him to pick this lock, you could be. Yeah, I mean, I can sort of lift the padlock up and adjust. like flip it up so that it's facing that. Yeah, that makes pretty sense. So take a bonus dice on your tinker roll here. Okay, risky?

Yeah, it's risky for dad, I think. I think it's risky for dad because he is, he probably has one shot at this before people start to get a little very, very suspicious. Standard though, I would say, wouldn't it be? Yeah. And how many bonus die? One for me. And that's it, I think.

Okay. And I have two in tinker, so I'll be rolling three. Correct. Yeah. If you could get a six on one of those, they'd be dope. Okay. How about fives? Five, five, across the board.

Five-five-five. Mixed success. With a mixed success, you open the padlock and remove it. But the gate is still stuck slightly. And it's going to need a little bit of a lift to get it open, which might create some noise. Okay. I got you. All right, so this is the part of the prayer that we reach where we all speak in tongues.

So everybody just kind of, it's just like jazz, like language jazz. So, uh, okay. Yep. Scuba. Everybody, everybody's scat. As the, as the, beep a bit, beep a, bivab. In the chaos, I lift the door. You see Antonio nodding his head.

Yeah, sure, sure. I got you. You going to open it? Yeah, while it's loud. Okay. How much you could open it? Approximately one Emmerich height

when he's on his tummy. Okay. One emmerick's worth. Yeah. All right, Emmerk, you're looking at... All right, Emmert. I hold up a single finger as I'm like, Shabalap, pop, pop, scrup, up, p'p.

Hold a finger up to my mouth as if to say, like you don't speak in tongues. And Emmerich, you are now, you want to just crawl underneath there, Emmerg, roll underneath? Yeah. Okay. You're inside.

I return to the circle, arms on shoulders, and I'm still like, keep going. It's working. Shop up, pop, pop, pop. They're in your thrall. But now it's up to you, Emric. Emmerk, you heard, and you know what this panel is. Right.

There you could also It's dark, but if you wanted to look around the room There is a You definitely see there's like a couch in here There's a desk with a couple of chairs There's pot of plants, fire extinguisher There's a light fixtures above you But that is all that is available to is a water cooler

And that's all that's available to you Now beef has shared not knowledge from the flashback, right? Yeah. So I know about this system. Yes. Well, I don't think I have to waste an action on it since now that I have ghost mind, I am always aware of hard light in my presence. Do I sense any hard light?

There's no hard light in this room at all. It's all mechanical. All mechanical. Okay. Now, Griffin, I will say, the fact that he said it's all mechanical does not necessarily preclude the presence of hard light. Sure, fair. Fair, fair, fair. But because that's part of show, right?

Right. Okay. So there's this curtain of light, correct? Beaming down, that is the security device. There is a gray alarm box that is. Dad, think invisible light on the floor. Like a laser grid, but instead of lines, it's waves. Yeah.

But you can't, there, I don't even know if you could. Yeah, you can probably see them if you, if you knew how to look. You certainly would know how to look. But, and then there. there's this alarm box that you know if you, if you nudge, move, open, any of it. It goes off. I have an idea, but I want to run up by you guys first.

Is that all right? I mean, by me? Sure. By it, by everybody. Okay. To use the prisms that he has to affect the light beams, basically like creating an opening. Oh, oh.

Like defract the light or... I love that, Dad. That's a great idea. Use them to interrupt the light beams. That's a great idea. They can shift light around them. Why wouldn't they be able to affect the light in the room? Oh, that's genius.

I love it. Let's, uh, let, okay, so Emrick, um, I know what you're trying to do. Let's go ahead and have a roll. And what I'd like you to do is do a, guess we'd call this. tinker, right? Or finesse?

I mean, it might be a tune, right, if he's doing hard light stuff. Yeah, I think if he's doing this with the prisms, that feels like a tune. Well, no, because the tune is like convincing. No, channel electroplasmic energy is one of the descriptions. Oh, then yeah. Of a tune, yeah. Okay, Dad, this is a tune. All right.

And I'm going to push it. Yeah, please. Push it real good. You can only push once, right? Yeah. So add a stress. Oh, to have. enough free stress to be able to ask that question.

It must be nice. Yeah. Okay, so attune. Risky. Desperate? I'm going to say desperate because if this doesn't work. Desperate, yeah. It's bad.

Okay. Standard. Great, right? I mean, it's like a pretty big, pretty big play. You take one bonus for your push. Yeah. Right. Come on.

All right, here we go. Oh, my God. Three, two, one. Shit. Fuck. Three, two, and one. Okay, hold on a second.

Is three mixed success? No, sir. Here's what I'll say, Dad. With a three, you sit down and you flick your prism out in an attempt to do this, this, like, interrupting the the waves. What you actually, what actually happens when you, rather than disabling it,

what you instead do is raise the waves. So they're now hovering about five feet off the ground. So rather than a thin layer of alarm light at the bottom, there is now a wall of it between our, are heroes and the gate, which the vault is behind. I look at you, angry, eyes open. Sapa-p-p-po-po.

Soap-pap-po? I'm looking at Emmerich. I'm also trying to think, bu-pap-pah, it didn't work. Cappap-a-da-do. Need some help. Do you don't have to try it again. Don't get it up.

Don't get scared. Sometimes the Lord speaks back in tongues in the room. I'm trying to leave a door open here. I don't know if there's anything beef can do, but. I'm going to flashback real quick. Okay. To back when I was talking to that guy in the room about the security stuff. And here's the best part about it.

If someone tries to mess with the projections somehow with technology, it will raise the laser wave. So it'll be five feet off the ground, making entry utterly impossible. I'll make sure to remember that. I definitely won't forget that part. Now, let me ask you, when it goes off, where does the sound and the alarms and such emanate from? Is that localized to here, or is it throughout the building? From this alarm panel here. Oh, it's a loud one, too. I won't even turn it on. It would hurt your ears. But if we found some way to contain the alarm pan, well, what if, how loud would you say it is scale of one to ten? Oh, it's a humdinger. Is 11. an option. I don't want to go outside the bounds, but it is,

who-ho! Okay. Flashback to present. Okay. Okay. Plan B, Emmerick, you're going to need to contain that alarm panel. Okay. Like, I'm thinking hard light

Bugs Bunny here, bud. Some kind of metal I don't know ball around it. Or so, can you do that? Hmm. How old? Certainly. So what do you want to make, Emmerk?

What do you, explain to me Green Lantern style. What are you trying to make? I think Emmerick is going to make a duplicate, but slightly larger version of the box and just put it right over the box. Okay. Give me. But soundproofed, but it has a bunch of foam in it.

Yeah, it's got all those crenellations and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. It's soundproof. Okay. It's got baffling. Okay. Let's have another attune.

But I will tell you, if this one goes bad, it's going to go bad. Then we're going to play in the same. I was trying to be nice with the last one because I didn't want to blow up the entire stealth operation. Yeah. Okay. I'm pushing it. And beef, I'm going to say since it was your idea, do you want, I will give you the opportunity to assist since you cooked it up. If you can handle the stress.

Oh, yeah. No, yeah. No, I'm stress-free currently. Okay, great. I will. So take a bonus die from two bonus die, one from you pushing and one from beef helping. And Justin, don't forget your devil's bargain option. All right, here we go.

Yes. 6-1-6-1. That's a critical and in a different universe. An absolute failure. Yeah, a critical failure. Okay, Beef, you were so frustrated about the last thing working because it was such a good idea, but you fucked it up and you're really frustrated about it. Emmerich. Well, Beef did also forget to tell us about the whole waves will increase to five feet thing.

Amrik, you create an incredible approximation of this alarm panel over the other alarm panel that is completely soundproof. Skittita Bapu mission accomplished Go let up Bapu Pee Get out Bapap get out Get out Blap

Exit up Exit Steps Right Eric I I shut the gate Behind him

Okay And dad Don't forget to I assume you've got Stuff for being desperate And Yeah Mark two

To an experience Yeah Okay And good Amen The end All right We're looking good.

Eyes up, folks. Just check, did the prayer heal our friend Funny Man? Nope, he is still out. Okay. We should be good to go. Got the Lord on our side now. Let's get that gym. What?

So I can walk in now? Yep, go for it. Okay. So you four walk in. Actually, as he walks in, I would like to hang back. Okay. I want to check Funny Man's person to see, because the way he spoke made me think that he is on the payroll here.

He is an employee of the... God, I can't believe that you did this. Dentonic Corporation. I can't believe you're checking him. So I would love to check in, please. You find one thing on Funny Man. Yeah. It's a long gun.

Whoa. It's a pistol with like a footlong barrel. Okay. That's the one thing you find on funny, man. All right, I'm going to take that from... I'm so mad. I'm going to take that from him. I can't believe that you did that.

I'll take that from him, and I'll put it in my stuff. That is actually my last load. So, no more tricks for me. Does that count to your load if you add it? It's a great question, Trave, that I don't actually know. What I would... What makes sense to me is if you got something that would bump you up into a higher... You know what I mean?

Like, I think you can count that as part. Okay. How about this? I think this makes sense. If you haven't filled up your light, this fills my light. This will fill your light. I think if you were at light and you found something you wanted to take,

it would just push you to normal. Okay. That makes sense. Okay. That makes sense. Okay. But this is, yeah, this is fine. Cool.

I take that from him and then I follow into the room with them. This is the last obstacle keeping us from the diamond. There is a gate. and we have to somehow get through the lock. Does anyone have a long key? I did not think about this. I mean, I have this lock pit. I took some online classes before I...

Six feet away. Oh. I have this very long gun. I pull out a pistol with a long barrel. Holy shit. Shit. Yeah. I don't know why I brought so many weapons now that I'm thinking about it.

This is terrifying. What will you do with this giant gun? We are gentlemen thieves. We do not go around with giant guns. Is he... Was he funny men's? Uh, no. It's, I etched his name on it as a tribute.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Um... Can I say something? This is beautiful. What you've done here for a friend, I will not forget your loyalty to Funny Man. But knowing Funny Man, I mean, I'm betting that this is one of those trick guns. And when you pull the trigger, a little flag comes out of it that says bang. And maybe I can use that and tape the lock pick to the end of the flag.

And then I can do that. All right, Griffin. All right, Griffin You have a gun A big gun Yeah There's a gate, there is a lock Yeah

Tell me what you are doing Uh I mean first Oh Jesus God Uh No I'm just gonna Can I get my hand Through the gate?

Um Hmm No I mean, we got to get this fucking gate out of the way, right? What is there a lock on the gate? Is it the same as the shutter at the front door? The gate as near as you can tell is there. You see no mechanism for opening it.

For opening it. Okay. Have we walked into the hard light waves? Am I too assuming that the alarm? It was, you could, yes. Okay. You don't hear anything, by the way. You walk to the hard light.

You see nothing. Okay. I mean, if I can't get through this gate, I don't know if I'll be able to shoot through it, right? You can't reach your hand through it. The spaces between or maybe like one inch. Hey, don't interrupt the flow bud. You have this big gun. Okay.

Don't go getting smart on me now. I just need to know which way is the gun pointing when you pull the trigger. Towards the gate. And I'm going to get everybody to... You could get, by the way, you could get the barrel of the gun into the gate. Okay. That would fit. It just won't fit your hand.

Okay. Well, then I'm going to stick the barrel of the gun through the gate and aim it toward the lock. And then what do you do? And then I look at everyone and I say, can you all maybe go hide behind that center display case? They do. They're following your instructions. Okay. Did you, did you mean me as well?

You're back on. You're out. You're gone. You're not in the room anymore. I know, but I'm on the earpiece. No, Lord. Um, and then I fucking aim at the lock and kind of like wince as hard as I can wince and pull the trigger. And that's where we'll stop. Oh. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist-owned.

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