The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Steeplechase - Episode 9

Episode Date: December 15, 2022

The gang plays along with the scripted robbery while trying to pinpoint their own target - The Clean. Montrose breaks the facade, Beef takes charge, Emerich brings back and old friend.Opening monologue performed by Autumn Seavey Hicks: https://www.instagram.com/autumnseaveyhicks/?hl=en Additional music in this episode: “Standard Jazz Bars" by Jason Shaw: https://audionautix.com/; "Eat” by Holizna: https://holiznaroyaltyfree.bandcamp.com/; “Voyageur” by Monkey Warhol: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Monkey_Warhol/; "#44108 (Transistor)” by Techtheist: https://techtheist.ru/; and “Six" by Lex Villena: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2iwj2SqGnplhDIadeJ5bmy?si=N8WYSKIPR7WUy8z4ajNSog. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Hey, Steepies, Crystal with the Kay here, and over at Gutter City, romance is in the air. No, seriously, it may be mixed in with the smell of rich, satisfying two-for-a-quarter-bullet air cigars and cheap whiskey, but it's there. Kenzel Denton may not be in the family's inner circle, but he's made a name for himself as one of its most eligible bachelors. That all changes tonight, though, when he ties the knot in a romantic, star-studded wedding in the newly renovated Dusk Hotel lobby. Will any of the other reclusive Denton show up in person to see Kenchell and humanitarian Lizabeth Owens United for eternity? Well, sadly, we didn't get an invite. And with the number of guards surrounding the party, we doubt any uninvited guests will be getting anywhere near the festivities. But we can't wait to see pictures.

Kenchel and Lisbeth, gang, can you believe it? You can just tell it's true love. Well, sorry to burst your bubble, Kenchaniacs, but if you were hoping to snag this Denton family Bachelor, I hope you never know when to stop dreaming. Hello, spirits. Nano father says the spirits can hear him through the horn. Spirits, are you there? Kavaka!

Just another one of his stories, I suppose. Kaveka, away from that. You dabble with powers you do not understand. Hello, everyone, and welcome... Did you say Nano Father? Hello, everyone, and welcome to the... I don't know what I said, Travis. Is Nanof Father a tiny father or Father

or father made up of nanobite, like a nano. What is it? Oh, hold on, Travis. Let me open the book that I have about that part. Nope. Just said it. I don't know, bud. Justin, but I can't.

Sometimes we say things and you're like, that's not canon. That's not lore. And then I'm like, tell me about the canon and lore, and you're like, it doesn't exist. And I'll tell you, man, I'm flummoxed. Yeah, dad made out nanomachies would be so tight. Can't get sick. Even smaller than micromachines. Fit through holes.

And the name of the, the, the, the, The little voice, Gabbaca? Quebec, I believe it was. Quebec? I think he said Quebec. Like Rebecca, but with some Vs in there. Yeah, more case. In whatever atrocity happened.

In whatever atrocity happened, ours remained illegal. You can only have Quebecas now. Okay. Welcome to the Adventure Zone. We are at a thrilling point of suspension where Montrose, you have just pointed a gun at a lock and pull the trigger. And let's just say it's been a few days since our last recording, been a week.

And in the meantime, I have really thought about Montrose's actions in finding a good and then pointing it at a safe and pulling the trigger to see if a flag was inside. That's an outrageous thing to do with an eye. I also just want to point out all three player characters have done, we're all in a pretty precarious position.

I mean, you have Montrose, firing a just found, not even a Chekhov's gun, it's like if Chekhov introduced a gun and then immediately used it. And then you've got... A gun. A gun. It's just a gun.

And then Bif talked to a slouchy man, Emric announced that a toilet was stopped up and stinking to no one. We're all doing equally heisty shit. Yeah, for sure. So I understand, Emric, what are you doing? Before I return to Montrose, I like this.

We'll leave this in suspense. The moment freezes as you pull the trigger. Bullet time. Montrose is pulling the trigger. Emric, what are you doing? I want positioning. I don't need a lot. I'm just, where are you right now?

Well, I believe he went back out through the gate. Mm-hmm. So he's back out in the main area of the hotel. Okay. Right? I think, I think Emric, being the timid soul that he is, is perhaps backing away. because he's not exactly sure what's going to happen

when the funny man's gun impacts or doesn't impact a lock. So I think he's just back a little bit. Fair. Just a couple of steps. Okay, and Beef, what about you? So Beef, let's see. I think Beef has positioned himself in the Hall of Mirrors.

Uh, near buffet table. Is there visible security around people with earpieces and suits and stuff? I mean, are, is there? I'm visible. Like, I, like, I, like, not that you would, like, see on a cursory glance. Okay. Then, yeah, I'm going to position myself by the buffet table. Perfect.

Montrose. Oh, wait a minute. Yep. I have a quick question. Let me hear it. Do we know, I know that we won't know which vehicle is going to be used for the getaway, correct? Correct. Do we know where they are?

Yes. Where the vehicles are? Yes. Then I'd like to amend mine and say that Emmerick is making his way towards where the getaway vehicles are. Smart. Okay. Smart and good. Smart and good.

And Emric, as we've established before, you're in overalls. So unless you do something really weird. That should be not an issue for you. So we'll put you in motion towards that. Montrose. I do love, by the way, thematically how fitting that is to, like, theme park,

just kind of, like, theme park mentality of just, like, when you see someone in workers' gear, you're like, well, they're not part of it. That's not it. It's colored, his jumpsuit is go away green. So you just,

yeah. Okay. Montrose, give me a finesse roll. I would love to do that for you. Great. I mean, it shouldn't be but a few clicks away. What's my position on this role? Well, Griff, it's risky.

It's not desperate to find a gun is shoot it at the lock that you're... Okay. Risky standard zero, go. That's a six and a one. Holy crap. Wow. Was that? You had two in that? Yeah, I do. I do. I have two in finesse.

Okay. There is a, the moment you pull the trigger, there is a massive kick. You are, you are ready for this, though. You'd brace yourself properly, and your body just kind of recoils, but you keep, you know, full control. And there is a flash in front of you, almost stunning you for a second. and then you look back and there is exactly where the lock was a hole, a black hole with light emanating out of it. There's also, it will become important soon, a deafening roar.

When the lock disintegrates, almost like it had been designed to do so, the gate pops open. You actually beef know that this is a security feature. When the lock is disengaged, the gate retracts so that no one is caught inside the vault. That's nice that they did that for thieves. I appreciate that as a thief. The lock pops out, the gate rolls open, the two doors open, and there, in a blinding light emanating from the top and refracting its light all over is the steel. Well, diamond, inside this vault in the center on a pedestal, the steelswell diamond around you, there are other sort of like, look like safety deposit boxes, I guess you could say. It's sort of like lining the shelves. And that's what happened.

Okay. I look back at the other three conscious members of my crew. Yes. shake, visibly trembling. And I say, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't think there'd be real guns. This was amazing. Your, uh, your, uh, your capability with the pistol, how did you know?

How did you know that you could do this? I was, I was told that there wouldn't be real weapons. Uh, uh, why would there not be real weapons? Oh, it's, this is a real crime and, Are you? Sorry. Yeah. Are you police?

No, I love these. I love these things. I pick up the good and I kiss it. Mm. Great. It's really hot. I've, oh, fuck. So hot.

All right. I'm going to put this in my bag. And then later, there's a waiver I'm going to need to read over. But, yeah, I'm a cold, hard shooter. And let's get that. Let's get that crystal baby. So there's a clock. The sound is deafening beef, I think, from your vantage point, you see several partygoers that sort of like turn towards that noise.

Everyone hears it, right? And it's sort of the party turns and looks, but a few people seem to be more intent on it and start making their way towards March's fine jewelers. I am going to intercept them. I mean, we're talking like five people. Yeah, I'm going to move to talk to them. They're not all, I mean, there are guards throughout this building. Like, they're not in a clump, right? Like, there are guards throughout this building.

They're making their way towards the jewelry store. You could probably go, since you know that's what's happening, you could probably go towards the jewelry store if you wanted to and try to meet them there, but it's not like you can't, they're not moving in a group. You'd have to meet them like towards where you're going. Like, they're in the party, right? Yeah.

Well, no. I mean, some are in the party. Others are like, you know, closer to Mart's Fine Duelers. I think we established that there was a security guard near the jewelry store anyway. So there are people heading towards the jewelry store. Okay, I'm going to try to intercept as many as I can before they leave the ballroom. So if that's one, that's fine. Two or three would be better.

Okay, so you want to intercept by which you mean what? I like get to them to talk to them before they leave the room. Okay. Let's call the, are you commanding them? Are you trying to like, trick them? I am commanding. I'm going to command them. Okay.

It's a command with a trick involved, so I'll leave that to you to decide. I'm okay with, I'm okay with, I mean, here's what I'll say. if you're commanding them, then you're, like, you're going to need to command them as beef. Like, like, if you're, if you're lying to them, I think that is, it needs to be persuade, but. Well, I will, how about this? I'll do the command. And if there's a persuade involved, then I will, uh, let you decide the, the mixture or what have you. Okay.

Uh, how many can I intercept? I said persuade earlier. I guess I meant consort. Sway. Sway, Sway, Sway, Sway, Sway, Sway, Sway. MTV VJ Sway. Yeah, my mnemonic devices, I remember how persuasive MTV VJ Sway is. But Sway is in the word persuasive, so it's not actually very good.

No, I think about the time I had lunch with Sway, and I found him very persuasive. That's my... That's a true story, right? Yeah, lunch with him and Kurt Loder is very memorable. That's how I remember my loadout. Yeah, how much can curt loader? I've got a light curtloader and I got two points in sweat. Tram.

Do a command roll to see how many you can stop to get their attention. Okay. Guards, guards. Hurry, hurry, this is very important. Risky, I assume. Yeah, and standard. I have a mixed success. It's a three and a five.

Okay. With a five, I would say Hmm With a five I would say that there were maybe You clocked maybe five people That were heading to You clocked six people That were heading out of the party

And five of them stuff And one person disregards you Okay Okay, listen, I wasn't supposed to say anything But I'm operating here as a bodyguard For someone new in town, who's let's say a very

important friend of a very important friend of everyone here. And I was interested with keeping him safe and making sure that he has a good time because he might give a lot of money to a very good friend

of ours. Link. And I point over at the slouchy man and get his attention and I lift my chin up once I get his attention. That's diabolical. Do persuade

a persuade. MTV, DJ sway. Do a DJ sway and then we'll add a bonus side for your actions there. My position is risky or death row?

I think it's controlled, honestly. I mean... Okay. It's a mixed. success of four. Thank God for the bonus. Do you have zero points in sway? I do. You try to sway a lot for someone who has no swaying ability. No way. He has zero. He has zero points? But he took the bonus die. Oh, we had the bonus die. So you got a four.

Okay, let me think. There's only so much intimidation I can do without people being like, why is beef punch Lee trying to beat me up? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. With a four, you lift your chin up to the, uh, old man, the old what is he, uncle? Do we establish that? He was a grandpa, but he's the old satchy man. I just think of him. As the old sashi man. And he, uh, he notices

you and he kind of raises his chin up. And he just keeps raising it up and he raises it up and up and up until he goes toppling backwards in his chair. And the four guys who are looking at it, the five guys that are looking at him are instantly like, oh my, oh my God, is he? Come on

everybody. Let's, let's check on this guy, quick. Everyone, we need help. And the five of them go over to check on the old man. They are no longer listening to you. You have lost control of them, but they are, for the moment, checking on the old man that fell out of his chair. Okay, now I'm making my way downtown,

heading towards wherever the getaway shit is. Or towards, I guess it would be like a loading bay or a dock of some sort. I'm heading that way. Okay, let me just tick down this timer. Okay. Emmerich, you were already here. headed towards the loading dock where Viva is headed.

Montrose, I want to cut to you. What are you doing? Oh, can I also say that I communicate to Montrose like there's one card on the way? Yeah, sure. I hope that's true, man. Go ahead. At least one. Yeah.

There's at least one. Prepare for more than zero guards. I look at the others and say, I feel like I've been kind of hogging all the action. So if someone else wants to grab the Steelswell diamond there and, you know, get that moment of glory. I will grab this diamond. And the Jacques Rouge goes to pick it up. Okay.

Vogel, meanwhile, starts pulling on the other drawers in here to try to find loose ones. Antonio is watching the day. door. I go over to Vogel and say, hey, what are you doing? Well, I mean, it's robbery, right? We're robbing them. I mean, in for a diamond, in for several diamonds, right? Yeah, but we were just, I thought the mission or whatever was.

He's still, he's still pulling. Yeah. I thought the mission was to just steal the diamond. Are you, like a James Bond secret agent? You get MI6 giving you You dictate The mission secret agent guy Sorry

Are you a thief who's like stealing things? No, you're right, I'm a thief who's like stealing things Can I be honest though? Like the whole gun thing really I'm sorry I whispered Are you? Are you new in town too?

I lived here my whole life I don't understand Uh One in raising got a city, it went to GPS 1358. Okay. A flighting leeches? That's not the answer.

No, we were the bedbugs. That was not the answer I was looking for. I say, oh, sorry. Okay, let me help you out. And I'll start sort of pulling on some boxes, too, watching him. Does he seem to be like, hmm, does he seem to be having any success here? Um, I mean, they're all pretty locked. Okay.

By their very nature. But it's not like he reached up to the one. No, no, no. He's like looting, right? I mean, he's looting. Okay. Ineffectively, it sounds like. Yeah, that doesn't strike me as, uh, employee behavior.

So I might scrap, I might, uh, dark light him from my list of potential suspects, uh, as the, the, the, the stooge here. Oh, dark light. We don't even have that going on with StarClight. I was trying to remember what was called in Spy Party, would you un-highlight? Okay. I try to help him for a while. For a while. Okay, hold on.

All right, fine. Actually, I'm going to go and talk to... I will say this. The searching of the... No, you know what? I'm not going to kibbits. But I do need you to be specific in this moment where time is of the essence. I'm going to drop it.

Like, I don't care about these take-diposit boxes because I don't care about the fucking diamond. I just want to get this van. So I head over to, I'm sorry, who's watching the door? Tonyo. Tonyo. Tonyo doesn't speak. You know, the one who doesn't talk. Yeah.

The perfect lookout. Well, shit. Okay. I walk up to Jacques as he's tucking the diamond away. And I say. Hey, can you maybe tell the, you know, the director or whatever that maybe next time give a warning when actual firearms are her going? The director, are you in the movie? This is a film for you?

Hello to TV lands. My name is Jacques Luz. Gentleman Tief. That's very funny. The camera. I don't. Ah, I see no camera. I mean, you know, I'm new in town.

This may be true. I understand. You're new here. This is, we take all commerce. Your skills are unparalleled. But we must be quick. Everyone will have heard that shot. Okay, so there's no crack in the facade whatsoever in either of these two.

God, it's so weird that you just straight up asking people didn't work out the way you thought it was. Well, I thought I could use the tension of the situation. to see who was looking, who was looking kind of shaky. But if they're not, if they, if there's no, you can, I'll tell you what, you can, you can, uh, you can roll a sway, you can, you can, you can push this. If you want to try to sway Jacques into breaking the facade, you can, uh, it will take a segment off the clock. So it's your, if it, that, you're just using time, but it's, it is your call.

It seems like a, it seems like a good, this is the last chance. going to get to take this list down from three to two or potentially find the person who we do want to sort of pressure to get the car, right? It seems like a good use of the clock. So I am going to try to do that. Can I ask Griffin? Yeah. Have he just completely ruled out that it was funny man and he's unconscious now? I don't think if funny man was a park employee, I don't think he would have just brought a gun into this thing. Oh, so you're looking for the driver. I want to who the driver is because I want I want there to be as few people in the car as as possible when it's room-vroom time I'm going to sway position I mean I'm not going to

get another shot yeah right I'm going to say desperate also because Griff something to be aware of here if this is the the cast member and you and you give away that you are not part of this excursion, then that would not be advantageous to you. Well, I don't want to give away. I don't think I'm giving away. I'm not part of the excursion. I'm giving away that I'm a, or I'm trying to give away. I am lying about the fact that I am a guest at the park who is, I don't understand

why that would, you know. The immersion is kind of an unspoken thing. I mean, it's like, it's important to people. So I'm not saying that they'll know what your deal is, but he will become suspicious. of you. I still want to do it. Okay. Desperate standard.

Mm-hmm. No bonus dice. Three and a six, baby! Holy shit. Okay. So ask him the... Yeah, sure, sure, sure. Follow up.

The conversation that already had happened. I want you to ask him something else. Listen, man, I feel like something actually illegal might be going on. so, um, I mean, you get a little freaked out, bud. Oh, a little bit freaked out. Is it, it, it, it's... Listen, I'm, shh, listen, we don't have a lot of time, but I've done this one like three times.

You don't have to worry about anything. Okay, it usually goes fine. Even if it doesn't, there's like a cool jail scene or whatever. I thought you worked. I thought you worked for the park. Huh? I thought you worked here. Oh, man, I wish.

I've applied like three times. I still can't get home. hired on, but I love it here. I love it. I don't know what to say. I love it here. And I love this. Well, if you've done it before, can I actually, can I hold the diamond? Do you mind? Do you mind if I hold the diamond? If you've done this before, like, it's my first time. Do you mind? Oh, you want to hold the diamond? Yeah. See, I've never gotten to hold it before, so I'm kind of like loving this a little bit. I've, oh, man, I don't know. It's just, it's my, it's tough, man. It's my first time. And, uh, man, it's tough because like,

I just, but do you. But do you. It's really. I look forward to this like all year and it's like my big moment. You know, I'm like, I got the diamond. It's like, got the diamond, yeah. Well, here's the thing. Here's what you can do. It's cool. I never get to be like the dude, you know?

But this could be like this big switcheroo, you know, at the end of the heist movie, where it's like the diamond wasn't with the guy who you thought had it. You know what I mean? So we could set up like a tight little like 11th hour twist, like a shock surprise that we were the FBI the whole time. whatever. Okay, Griffin. I'm gonna need another sway, bro. Oh, really? Okay.

I mean, to convince him to give you the diamond? Yeah, sure. Which you, by the way, told him to get up. I thought he was the park employee. All right, whatever. Submit. Risky. Yeah.

Standard. Yeah. Six and a three. Yes, baby. Yeah! I've got a hot fucking hand tonight, baby. All right. You seem cool, right?

Yeah. All right. I'll make you a deal. I'll actually carry the diamond. Yeah. But, like, later, if people ask what happened, will you tell them that I thought the gun thing? Because that was fucking sick.

Yeah. For sure. Definitely. Yeah. Absolutely. All right. Cool, cool, cool. What if, like, you had me at gunpoint?

And you were like, you better shoot that. It makes you see. No, that's too mean. Kind of like the way I did it. Yeah. Okay, cool. We'll do it your way for sure. Cool, cool.

Vogel, we must hurry. You. Other guy. Tonyo. Nope. No. What did Montress say? Oh, Wimberley.

Wimberley. Wimberley, good party. You, Wimberley. You carry the diamond. Okay. Vogel now. Vogel stops pulling the things and follows you guys. The guards will be here, Indyman.

We need to silently make our way out. Before they see us exiting. Hey, boss, I gotta say, I think, I think that time for that is over. The guards are gonna be honest any moment. And you see Vogel, like, reach behind him and pull out a pistol from his belt. I think we gotta shoot our way out.

You, Wembley, get that big gun. Let's go. Do we all just have pistols now? Well, I mean, you, me. Tonyo? Tonyo gives a thumbs up. Tonyo, you have a pistol? Tanyao gives two thumbs up.

Yeah, two pistols. That's what I'm talking about. Jacques, are you packing? I'm a gentleman thief. I do not traffic in firearm. Okay, cool. All right, well, yeah, I guess we'll shoot our way out with our real guns. Do you really think this is wise?

And he's looking at it. you a little bit like, because he knows, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's looking at you a little bug-eyed. No. No, you're right. Sorry. Flashback to the big, the big war.

Um, no, we need to just be sneaky and fast and hope and pray that we can outrun him. I don't know, I really like the shooting plan. Antonio, what's up? Antonio, it gives two enthusiastic thumbs up. Tonyo is in favor of shooting. So Griffin, I could make you do another sway roll that's starting to get a little stale to me. Can you think of any, we have cut away from you several times. Yeah.

Any flashback maybe that could justify winning one of these cats over why you'd be able to convince these guys. Hmm. Or you could just trust your luck and go with the sway roll. I don't know. to flash back to a scene that has happened in the heist that we have been playing out, feels weird. I mean, it's all like we could cut, I mean, we have, we've cut to the other characters. Like, there have been gaps of time.

He's given you the opportunity. I'm just, and I'm not trying to steer you. I'm saying that this is the situation. Two of these cats want to shoot their way out. One, one, Jacques, who you know, as far as you know, I mean, like, yeah, I assume that, you know. This is accurate. He can't lie to you, obviously. You got to make the call.

And you got to do whatever you're going to do right this second. I'm not trying to rush you, Griffin McElroy. I'm saying this can't be a long, drawn out thing because you have one segment left on this clock. No, you know what I'm going to do? Like, I'm going to lean. I don't think that this is a situation that I think I can deal with. So I'm going to try to signal to my accomplices.

Okay. What is about to go down. I say, I holster my pistol. I, y'all, I can't, in good conscience, do this. I like to also consider myself a gentleman thief. And if we're about to kick down the door and go blasting every hater that we find outside, that just seems like it goes against everything I believe in. If that's what you all want to do, if the two of you, one of whom I believe has two pistols, want to kick down the door and just start blasting that whole hallway up, then that's up to you.

But I can't, I can't condone it. I'm sorry. I respect the Essex of your decision, even if it means, our inevitable capture. No matter how cool the jail part might be. The jail, the jail, the jail, the jail, the jail, not the jail part. I don't know what this means. Zijail. Hearing that, I think Beef redirects himself towards the jewelry store. Nice. Okay. What are you doing? I will say at this point, Beef, there are three people making their way towards the gate that you can totally see are moving with intention. You were at this party. You were talking to these people. You had your head on a swivel. I'm saying you can see three people. making their way towards this gate. From differing points.

There's your guy that ignored you, and then there's two others. Okay. These are, they're, they're, uh, you notice that they're all wearing the same gray suit and black, uh, skinny tie. And they all have, uh, matching black patent leather shoes. Like they, you wouldn't have noticed them otherwise, but seeing them all together. It's like, okay. Okay.

I'm going to. I'm going to tackle the one closest to me. Okay, great. Great. So you're just running at that guy and chucking your beef at him. Let's have a skirmish roll from you, please. My full beef. Risky, desperate?

I think it's desperate, actually. Yeah, I think it's desperate too, Justin. I also think it's... Oh, one and a six. Oh, my God. What is going on with these hot ass rolls tonight? Well, I haven't rolled yet, Griffin. Oh, that's fair. That's fair.

I will bring down the bell arc. The statistical average, yeah. This is a critical. So you tackle this guy, and because you are you, and you have a really good sense of your body weight, in tackling him, you make it look like an accident. So it doesn't even draw attention. You just kind of silently take him out, and there's one of those tables with name cards on it, And there's all the name cars and people that said they were going to be at the wedding, but, like, didn't work. The worst.

Don't RSVP if you're not going to go. They plan meals for that shit. They're seating arrangements, people. You tackle him right near one of those, and you just kind of, like, are able to scoot him underneath the tablecloth. So he is, like, fully, fully eliminated from the equation. There are two others making their way towards Griffin. I pop up and run for the next nearest one. Okay, great.

I'm out here saving lives, Justin. Now, this guy, the other guy had is back to you. The other two are doing what I call a temporal pincher maneuver, and they are closing in on you from differing sides. There's one to your right, one to your left, the gate is straight ahead of you. My God. They're closing in, are they coming for me, or are they going for the gate? They're not going for you.

They're going for the gate. Okay, yeah, I'm just going to tackle the one nearest me. They're equidistant. I need you to choose which guy you're going for. They look like the same dude. Not exactly, not in a creepy one. The one on the right. Okay, you're going for the one on the right.

Okay. You say anything or you just kind of like, get him? I just get him. Okay. I'm operating on instinct. Okay. Five and a five. A double mixed success.

I'm just imagining Brock Lesner just like running into the same dude over and over and over again with his huge body. you uh what okay what does this look like Travis what are you what are you doing with this cat you're you're trying to tackle him yes yeah I think at this point um I'm not even worried about like subterfuge of like making it look like an accident I'm just gonna like full on body check him into a wall yeah you you go to body check him into a wall and uh you toss him into a chocolate fondue table flipping over all the beautiful marshmallows and strawberries and covering him in the icky, sticky brown stuff. But he is eliminated.

The other guard has decided that he is going to investigate you now. Yep, that's fair. And you are coated in chocolate. You are standing to your full beefy height. What do you do? I'm going to charge him too. Okay. And then I'm diving for the legs.

this this beefy chocolate man this beefy man covered in cocoa starts spreading at him and he rolls his dye and what happens well just what happens is a mixed success oh man okay

okay with a mixed success you see him lift up his wrist and he talks into his watch I've got this is gonna sound crazy but I got an attacker and it's beef punchly I shit you not or somebody looks a lot like him

well they're hiring impersonators here but I've got ooh that's you tackling yep and he is he is out what I'm going to do now is I'm going to add to this

layer buying you some more time oh man more chocolates Okay, I added two wedges Well, I know with a mixed success You're gonna get one wedge, that seems fair I just took out three dudes

Yeah, for sure You get one wedge for that Because they were mixed successes Okay, all right, you, I think you were close enough Montrose that you saw that happening It would have been hard to miss At least hard not to hear I'll poke my head out the door first then

and try to make... And I'll also give... Actually, beef, I'll also give you a chance to say something. If you want to say something, I don't know how you're like playing this with the people in Montrose's situation, but...

Have they seen me? Oh, yes, I guess Tonyo was on lookout, right? Tonya was seen, yeah. Okay. I roll up and I say... Uh... Yes, is my brother, Wimberley in there? It's me.

Timberley. good party. This ain't going to work. No. Okay, let me try again. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You are a very noticeable person who is covered in chocolate. I mean, yeah, no, it's fair, fair, fair.

You can roll, but it's going to be a good role. Well, maybe. I have zero in sway. It's not, I'll establish the danger, right? This isn't that big of a deal. They believe you, they don't believe you, whatever. Like, oh, I still make success. I got a four and a six.

A four and a six. And I take the lowest, which is a four. I should have given Montres. Well, Montres could have said he wanted to help if he did. Okay. No, I'm looking at beef shaking my head like, what are you doing? Okay.

Saving lives. Jacques says, it's very good beef bunchley. This is such a good... Why are you here, Beef Punchley? I wanted to play, too. I got bored up at the wedding and saw there was a chance for violence, and I took it. You see Jacques, like, nodding, like, yes, my dude.

Absolutely, I love it. Beef, I do not understand your attempt to suffra fuchs, but I would love to have the added muscle if you can help us get out of here. Yeah, we should go, like now. Wemberley Montrose Wimberly Do you want to say anything How are you playing that?

I say Could he Pretend to be my Like my long lost brother To Timberley still Because that could be fun To like roll play out Do you wish this be

Do you wish to be this Timberley? Yeah just I want to be I want to be part of it Okay I want to belong So let's take it back to Okay

So let's take back to you just Timberley Early, after all these years, not since Pop Popp's funeral, I never thought I'd see you. Why are we pretending? We should go. We can pretend on the way. Okay, we'll do make pretend while we run. What are we pretending if it's just us here in the room?

Well, just for fun, these guys. I don't know where they find these guys. They're going to go ahead and follow you because you didn't have a mix success. So they're going to follow your lead beef. You see in this main area, you do not immediately clock any. of the guards that were recently plaguing you. Can we clarify, they would have heard me talking to Jacques when he broke K Fabe, right? So, beef.

I mean, I have my earpiece in, right? Oh, you mean they as in your compatri. Okay, so you know beef that Jacques ain't, ain't it. Jacques ain't the driver. Okay, cool. I'm Jordan Cruciola, the host of Feeling Scene, where we talk about the movie characters that make us feel seen. And I'm the show's producer, Marissa.

Jordan, you've interviewed so many directors, actors, writers, film critics, and I like to play this little game where I take a sip of coffee. Every time someone says, that's such a great question. That's such a fabulous question. Or they tell you how smart you are. I think that you are rather brilliant. And, of course, the big one is when they cry unexpectedly. Yes, yeah. Jordan, I don't want to cry on your podcast.

I wasn't expecting to cry. I mean, it makes me kind of want to cry. Feeling seen comes out every Thursday on maximum fun.org. Listen already. What are you waiting for? Jordan, that's such a great question. Hal Loplin here with breaking news on a revolutionary form of entertainment. Professional wrestling.

For more, we go to our correspondent, Danielle Ranford. Professional wrestling is the craze that's sweeping the nation, featuring Vistakos and colorful costumes. But who can help us make sense of this world of body slams? Cal has the answer. Sources tellers of an amazing podcast called Tides and Fights, filled with discussions of the absurdity of professional wrestling, plus all the sincerity and hilarity that you could shake a stick at.

Listen to the Tides and Fights Podcast every week. Find it on maximum fun or wherever you get your podcasts. And your old-timey radio. Emmerk, you've made it down to the loading bay. let me show you what you see at the loading bay okay

this is this is man it took me a long time to find a photo something that kind of look what I was thinking about but this is a bunch of trucks it's a bunch of trucks there's a conveyor belt

in the middle and you see the trucks are being loaded with like there's some that appear to be getting trash chucked into them you see some unlabeled bags.

Some are like clearly crates of food that are coming out of trucks and going in. All the trucks look utterly indistinguishable. So that is what you see, Emmerich, when you arrive down at the loading bay. There's also

a lot of people. And they all look like laundry trucks? No, they look like trucks. They're all exactly the same. I think like unmarked white truck, not massive, maybe like a 10 foot long with 8 foot or maybe like 12 foot long, 8 foot tall rectangle with the truck on the front. So we know that one of them is the clean, right? Correct.

Okay. I have thought of something and it honest to God just came to me and I, I, I'm afraid I don't want to break your game I don't want to hack your game of what you're trying to do but it seems to me that with his

new ghost mind always being able always being aware of hard light constructs he would know which one was the clean when he enters the room would that Does that make sense?

You could look around and see if you sense anything. Okay. So that would be a survey? Here's what I'm going to say. You should be able to sense hard light projections. There is, just to keep this fun, we'll say that there is enough stuff in the room that you wouldn't immediately like,

you're going to know everything that's hard light. But I don't want to get rolled for it, right? Do you guys agree? Like, he shouldn't have to roll. If that's the ability, you shouldn't have to roll, right? Yeah. Okay. Dad, there are 14 trucks,

seven on each side of the conveyor belt right through the middle of the rim. You notice that three of these contain hard light. Okay. We'll call them number two and number three and number four.

How what algorithm did you use? These trucks that are, they are all oriented towards exits. So this is sort of a long outbuilding where the, not outbuilding because it's connected, but it is a long rectangular building. On each side, there are large rolling doors that trucks can pull in and out of. So two, three, and four are all on the sort of right hand side from where you entered. Okay. Emmerich uses the Give a Ghost projector to create a facsimile of a bag, like a large bag loaded with stuff. Similar to the stuff being loaded on some of the other trucks.

And I will say this. No, you can. I will say that you won't be able to do this without, like, being noticed, I think, because it's not, you know what I mean? Like, that would sort of blow your cover a little bit. Right. You could go into hiding, like, I'm sure there's someplace in the room that you could, you know, an out-of-the-way corner if you wanted to try it.

Okay. I think, um, so it's two, three, and four right next to each other. Correct? Correct. I think he's going to sneak and crawl. under number three. Okay. Great.

And position himself underneath number three. Now, the goal being, since that's what we need to state, that whichever one of the three they go to, he'll have easy access to get to from under three. If it's three, he's already there. If it's two or four, he can very easily just slide. You're trying to position yourself into an actual place. Yes. Okay. Here's what I need from you.

I'm going to need a prowl roll. Yeah, I thought so. I have zero in prowl. Yeah, so I get two of those. You know what? I think I'm going to push. But before I do, I'm going to whisper so that my friends can hear. Okay?

Okay, yeah. And say, It is either truck number two, truck number three, or truck number four. And I'm going to push myself, and I'm going to roll prowl. And this is what? Controlled, desperate. Ooh, I'll say risky. With a two.

You hunch over and you start sneaking. And then one of the people who is loading tomatoes, big cans of tomatoes, a big barley guy loading cans of tomatoes doesn't see you and turns to load the tomatoes and accidentally clips you on the shoulder. When he clips you on the shoulder, you go falling down and you fall onto the conveyor belt on your back. Yeah, you do. Okay. And you have sprain your ankle in doing that.

I want you to take a level one harm. And you are currently being hauled up the conveyor belt grabbing your ankle. Beef. Okay. Montrose. You have entered in the room. You see the exact same thing. And I just described it at that, except for one.

addition there is a dad your dad actually on the conveyor belt being pulled upwards Jacques and Vogel and Tonio are behind you and you enter the room and see this

Jacques starts waving you towards truck four and Vogel starts heading towards truck two they are both clocking dad on the conveyor emrick on the conveyor belt but are kind of thinking like that's fucking convenient because there's this weird shit happening

that everyone is now looking at and they are heading towards those two trucks Vogel is waving come on it's this one over here towards truck would I say two? Yeah

Okay Vogel's pushing it towards truck two and Jacques says no no no Vogel this is the one and starts heading towards truck four so Vogel's going to two Jacques is going to four What's

I can't believe I've forgot his name again. Tonyo? What's Tonyo? Tonyo. Tonya is watching you guys. I lean in to Tonyo and say, hey, so which one of us is supposed to drive? Because I don't have my license.

Tonyo turns out his pockets to show you there's nothing in his. Why are you showing me your pockets? No, well, no wallet. So yeah, he doesn't have a license either if that's good start. Oh, okay. I guess no rules just right. So can we just take any truck we want? Any of the shoulders?

Okay, Beef is going to jump up on the conveyor belt. Cool. And start moving towards Emric. Everyone is looking. Like, what the fuck? Can I have my shirt pulled up over my nose and mouth or something? That's great. Yeah, sure, why not?

And people see your incredible abs. Unintended. Unintended. A week. And these workers are all like, hey, get down from there. Get down. It's break time. Everybody out of here. Commanding?

Yes. Okay. I'm going to call this desperate. And the effect is great. A lot of people in here. anybody want to help? I'm going to push myself too. Really flex my abs.

Yeah, I'll, uh, oh man, I guess I'll see what you're doing and go and hold out my big gun and say, so you better get lost if you don't want to get smoked and wasted by the bad, by the bad boy crew, by the bad news boys. Okay. I like this.

Bad news boys, this is good. The bad news boys. And submit. How did you not? I mean, I guess you rolled four dice, so you didn't have to get a six. But I got a three or five, a one and a five. Okay. On a desperate role when you get a mixed success, you do it, but there's a consequence.

You suffer severe harm. A serious complication occurs. You have reduced effect. Do I get to pink? No. Oh, okay. I didn't think so, but there was a long. pause after you said it. I got really excited.

That's the pause of thinking. You also sprain your ankle. Okay, you know what? With a reduced effect, we'll say like most of the people head out, but there's maybe like six or seven scattered throughout the room

that are still eyeing you suspiciously, but there's much fewer, many fewer people than there were before. And no one is like really near the trucks. I am also going to lower the clock, the guards clock, to one wedge left.

And I'm going to also scoop up. Amrik, help him up. Okay. He's not dead, right? Who, Emmerk? He has a sprained ankle. I said he'd sprayed his ankle. How do you sprain your ankle?

He would be a terrible doctor, Griffith. But he needs somebody... He's very delicate. Very delicate. I was going to say, does he need scooping? He's got a hurt ankle. He's got a boob. I'm not like throwing him over my shoulder.

I'm just helping him up. I'm going to run over to Vogel and be like, hey, is it? Are you sure this one's the right truck? Yeah, yeah, yeah, positive. Hurry it. Hurry it up. You got the diamond, right? Let's go.

How could they're identical? How do you know? I don't want to take the wrong one and get the trouble. I talk to a guy who knows a guy and he said this is the one. Let's go. Uh, I say. What if, uh, I got a nasty idea. What if we split this thing two ways, pal?

Did I mean enough? No, I'm saying if we hop in the truck and take off, we don't have to cut in these other gibronies. Sway him. Position? I'm going to call it risky because you won't get another shot, but, you know, if he doesn't agree on it. Yeah, sure. I think it's a big deal. By the way, just for canon,

and gibronies are half jabar and half ponies. Okay, wow. I had no idea. From my little pony. That's established. Yeah. That's cool. I'm going to, no, I'm not going to push.

I'm pretty fucking stressed out. I can't imagine why. I'll just do it. Here we go. Five and a six. Woo! You know what? I love it.

Quick, quick, on, on. Let's go. Give me the keys. The keys, he does not. Presumably there's keys in the truck. Okay. I mean, you hope? But he does not have keys.

Maybe somebody else does, but he don't. But he is making his way towards truck four. I thought truck two was the truck he was. Fucking hell, Griffin, it's all pretend. What's important is that he confidently knows which truck it is. He is heading. Okay, if he's going to two, fine. He's going to two.

I will flash back and spend the stress if you determine that this is an unfurricular. fair question to ask post after the fact. When I was having that conversation with Jacques and he was saying all that stuff, was he lying? No. I would have told you. Well, I didn't ask.

No, you're right. You have to ask. But no, he was not lying. Then it's vote. Oh, fuck. To, okay, so to clarify the situation, Jacques is directing you towards truck for four. four, you have just told Vogel that you want to go truck two with him and cut out the other two.

They both seem certain. Jacques is continuing to wave you towards truck four as you and Vogel start walking towards truck two. Emric, what are you doing? Emric has a flashback. Okay. Okay. Do I have to add a stress? No, okay. Wait, how do you add stress?

Is it, it's stressful if... It doesn't work, right? I thought it was stressful if... No, no, no. The stress comes from if it is an ordinary action for which you had easy opportunity is zero. If it's complex or unlikely, it's one stress. So let me hear what the flashback is, and I'll set a cost.

Okay, the flashback is Amrik in the downtime before the heist is working at his work table, and he's got all these pictures of Sticky Fingers Paul Pantry spread out from all kinds of different angles on his work table, and he's tinkering with a give-a-ghost projector. He's working on the give-a-ghost projector. Okay.

That's the flashback. Hmm. This sounds like one stress. Yeah, this is complex or unlikely. Okay. So what happens, Dad? What are you doing? Emrich raises up his wristband surreptitiously.

And surreptitious wave by by a long time ago. Like, this is what it is. Raises his wristband and calls up a hard light ghost that looks like Sticky Fingers Paul Pantry. and has the ghosts step out from between two of the trucks, let's say three and four, steps out from between three and four and says, I'll tell you what he says. I need a roll for you.

Okay, a roll? Tell me what you're trying to achieve. What do you want to happen? I want this hard light ghost to come out. and make them think that it's short dug. Okay. And that he's going to drive one of the trucks. Let's have a tinker roll.

Tinker or a tune? And I'm pushing it because this is, oh my gosh. It's not a tune because he's not convincing him. He's creating him. Right. Okay. Anybody want to help? Yeah, I can push when it comes out to be like, oh my God, it's short Doug.

You haven't been in Gutter City for a while now. Good to see you back. Okay. So position? I'm going to say it's desperate. Does that feel fair to you? You're overreaching your capabilities or you're in serious trouble. Making a man on the fly seems like that.

But I mean, that is what the give a ghost projector is designed to be. Yeah, but if I don't introduce, like I have to be able to balance the complexity of what you're doing. Sure. I understand. Yeah. You make a bag. You want to make a man. Okay. Effect.

great great and bonus die two because you're pushing yourself because I'm adding yeah right okay oh please work please

I want to contribute something five four one and two so we'll take the five obviously mixed success okay and you're going to have to do the voice with a mix success

you create a living, breathing short duck. It looks like Sticky Fingers Paul Pantry, but he looks shorter. You can't tell if he's doing it through like posture or what. What? He's doing the Douggy. Yeah.

Yeah. Now, it is unlikely that this is what Sticky Fingers Ball Pantry or the actor that plays Sticky Fingers Pantry now is how he did short Doug. But this is how you're doing short Doug. And he says, I'm so glad you guys brought me in. Which truck we taken? and Vogel is pointing towards this one with Montrose. The two of them are climbing into the car. Jacques is still waving frantically at his.

Dad, it's hit your hard light projection. What do you want Sticky Fingers Paul Pantry to do? He could be in the same car as Vogel and Imrich, or sorry, Vogel and Montrose, or he could drive the other car that is Jacques. I say he jumps behind the wheel of four With Jacques Or we can go full Italian job

And he could jump behind the wheel of three And we can take all of them Okay Yeah I say In the sense of fun Okay So he goes to

He goes to three B first of four Which is which one is that Jacquess Jacquess Beef, you run into four. Emric, where are you going? Well, somebody has to help.

Beef has to help whoever is, sorry, somebody has to help Emrik. Yeah, you're going with me. Oh, wait. So we're just going to have a hard light projection, drive? No, no, no, help him into three. Can you help him into three? Sure. Help him into three, and then you go with Jacques.

Okay, so. You fucking guys. Okay, Griffin, you and Vogel get into truck two. Beef, you help Emric into truck three, being driven by sticky fingers Paul Pantry? Question mark. And Jacques throws up his hands.

I will not go back down again to the jail, no matter how cool it may be. Goodbye! All three trucks pull out at the same moment. Montrose, you and Vogel, Antonio

in truck two, immediately start to take a lead on the others. Truck three, driven by, stick, fingers, Paul, pantry. Truck four, driven by Jacques. What you notice is that you are, it seems unnaturally fast.

It doesn't seem possible how fast you know without a second hesitation that you are in the clean. I totally have my, I totally have my driver's license, by the way. I'm kicking ass. Oh, nice. Sick. Truck four is immediately starting to fall behind. It's losing the pack. In fact, it's almost like it wants to be caught, which seems very strange.

Truck three, though, is pulling some incredible driving maneuvers. These three trucks, one fast, one just kind of swerving back and forth, and one that seems dying to get caught. And then just as they clear the first intersection, from behind, you hear the deafening wail of 20 gutter city police officers all in chase. On foot? Oh, I'll tell. Yeah. On foot, dad. on their car roll of their foot engines.

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