The Agenda with Steve Paikin (Audio) - Treat People With Kindness: Advice from an Urban Buddhist Monk

Episode Date: October 24, 2024

How do you make lasting change in the world? According to Bhante Saranapala, a Buddhist Monk at the West End Buddhist Temple and Meditation Centre in Mississsauga, Ontario, it starts with one person's kindful acts toward another. And they pass it on. On a sunny fall day in Serena Gundy Park in north Toronto, he talks to Steve Paikin about his early life training to be a monk in Bhangledesh and Sri Lanka, his time in Canada, leading meditation sessions for police and other professionals, and spreading his message of mindful kindness, the topic of his book, "Are You Kindful?: How your practice of kindfulness can build a happy and peaceful nation."See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Monty, it's lovely to meet you. Same here, Steve. Thank you very much. In fact, I was looking forward to meeting you today. Today in particular? Well, I have seen you. I was excited to come here so that we could have this in-person conversation, kind of a conversation.

I hope I make it worth your while. Definitely. Where are you from originally? I was born in Bangladesh. So then I lived in Bangladesh for 10 years, then I went to Sri Lanka. And when did you come to Canada? That was in 1994. Why did you come to Canada?

We have a meditation center in Mississauga. So my teacher wanted a young monk to come and serve the community, be part of the center to help them. How old were you when you became a monk? Ten. Ten? Yes. How did you know you wanted to be a monk at ten? Actually, I don't know.

I personally believe I had been a monk in my previous life. So I was told by my parents I was pretty spiritual in my childhood. So I was very much into meditation, good things. I had a very kind heart for people, for animals. Talk to us about your grandfather. How influential was he in what you're doing? Well, he was the most kindest and most generous person. He had a good heart for people.

He was basically a simple farmer, vegetable farmer. And I remember going to the farm with him and how he was very nice to people. Even when he walks on the road, he would greet people kindly with a smile. And he knew about the families in the village and those who were struggling. He would just drop by and here we go, this is for you. And I was wondering as to why my grandpa is doing this. And then later on I realised, you know, that was the true act of kindness. How do you become a monk? First you have to get the permission from your parents

and teachers cannot ordain a child without the consent of the parents. So when I have shown interest in becoming a monk, so my teacher said, why don't you ask your parents to come and see me? So with much excitement I went home and I told my parents, teacher would like to see you, so follow me today. We went to the monastery and my parents gave the consent and then he took me to his monastery. And does it involve a lot of study at that point?

Yes, some studying, memorization of the text. And so I was given that novice training in Bangladesh just for two, three months. And after that I was sent to Sri Lanka. So that's where I received my intense training, monastic training and education. Now, do you have a specific title? Should I be calling you something? Well, you can call me venerable, Bhante Saranapaala.

Venerable? Venerable. Sometimes people call venerable, Bhante Saranapala. Venerable? Venerable. Sometimes people call venerable, sometimes people call reverend in this part of the world. And so this is I think, I just say people just call me Bhante. Bhante. Yeah. Do you take a vow of something to be a monk? Yes. What? We refrain from taking life of other beings, we refrain

from stealing, we observe the celibacy, the vow of celibacy, and we can call a false claim of becoming enlightened, this and that. So these are all major values. So you have never married? No. You have no children? No. And you gave up a certain part of your childhood as well

to do this work. Yeah. Do you feel you've missed a lot? Well, in my childhood I think I did because I was also a great fan of soccer. And I was good at playing soccer. And also I was very much into music too. So I think I missed those stuff. If I were to be a layperson, I believe either I could have become a good soccer player or a great musician.

Playing what instrument? Like tabla and and the sarapina, you know, and maybe guitar and stuff. But I was good at singing. Okay. In my primary school, the headmaster would always ask me to lead singing the national anthem of Bangladesh. Could you sing 10 seconds of that right now for us? Amar Shonar Bangla Amitomai Balobashi What did you just say in English?

I say, Oh my golden Bangladesh, I love you very much. Beautiful. How many times a day do you meditate? Well, when I was receiving training, we would meditate many hours. Like, daily practice was you meditate at least one hour in the morning, and in the afternoon another hour walking meditation, and the evening is another hour of meditation chanting. So this is a daily practice and when we were receiving meditation training in the forest monastery there were many

hours of meditation practice like sitting meditation, walking meditation, etc. Why is it important to do it? Well, meditation is the way to find the true meaning of life. The meditation is the way to be in a peace, in a happiness that makes you happy, that makes you peaceful, and physically, emotionally, psychologically you become stronger, healthier, happier, more peaceful. So that is very important. It's like, you know Steve, people eat every day. So people go to gym couple of times a week for physical fitness. But it doesn't matter how fit you are physically,

but if you're not emotional, psychological fit enough, what are you going to do with this physical fitness? So, meditation is the best medicine for the mind. You have, I guess, led some Toronto police officers, some politicians, school board officials, some fairly high-stress jobs in meditation. What do you think it does for them? Well, it helps them a lot. In 2016, I had a group of police officers from Peel Regional Police,

and they brought that group of officers to receive the mindfulness meditation training, because they believed meditation would help them cope with this high stress they are experiencing every day. So, it is like what I teach people. I tell them a story of the turtle and the fox. The fox was hovering around the turtle with the intention of grabbing the turtle as soon as it stuck any of its limbs out. Yet the turtle was safe inside and realized that he would be safe as long

as he remained inside the shell. The turtle was thinking, of course I'm tired and hungry. My enemy is still hovering around me wanting to grab and kill me, but I'm safe here. wanting to grab and kill me but I'm safe here. My shell is hard and it is my protection. My enemy, the fox, cannot grab and harm me. Despite my tiredness and hunger, let me stay inside patiently and calmly. When you do high stress job like policing, so you're seeing the negativities every day. So you feel anxiety, you feel anxious, you feel stressful, these things make you go in fall into depression and so every day people should become a turtle like go inside your own shell. So doing meditation daily is a way of going inside your own heart shell. That's your safe zone.

That's your green zone. And so this will, in this way those foxes of stress, anxiety, depression, sadness, pain can attack you. So, there has to be balance between your job and also your own health and wellness. When you're teaching police officers how to do this, how can you tell if it works for them? Well, some officers came to me. They are still continuing to practice this. And that's the very reason why even now a Toronto Police Service has created a wellness

unit. Wellness unit because the current police chief really believes in wellness. So, meditation, mindfulness practice yoga, and all these are part of wellness techniques. And if they can incorporate these techniques into their life, they can have a balance. Vonte, let's learn more about this concept of kindfulness that you write about. What is kindfulness? Steve, kindfulness comes from two words. It's called kindness and mindfulness. And I teach kindfulness in two steps. So the first step is be mindful to be kind to yourself and be mindful to be

kind to others. So when we talk about kindfulness, the mindfulness, mindfulness is all about remembering. Always keep in mind, never forget. Never forget to be kind to yourself and never forget to be kind to others. So, this is called Kindfulness Principle, Kindfulness Practice. How much kindness do you think there is in the world today? Well, there are kindness, but at the same time we see a lot of unkindfulness in the world. That is the very reason why people are hurting others, you know, and bringing a lot of violence and people are getting killed.

People, as a result of that, people are feeling unsafe. So, through this kindfulness practice, I'm trying my best to minimize the negativities of the world and also maximize the positivities in people's life. You are practicing what you are preaching. That's right. Hello. Hi. Hi.

Welcome, Mani. Today is your good day. I have been talking about the kindfulness principle to many audiences around the world. And when I explained this word, and they think, wow, this is what we need. It's like how you told me after reading the book. You said, wow, I wish everybody could understand this and embrace this principle. We can reduce a lot of troubles in the world. I did say that, but then in the next breath I said,

I don't see a lot of examples of kindfulness around the world, or certainly not as much as we need around the world today. And I wonder, I mean, I appreciate that you and I are talking today because you're trying to get the word out. Yeah. But it also feels like a lot of people today are really enjoying life, not being kind at all. I don't know what you do about that. Well, people think, you know, they can enjoy that, but at the same time, it's also making people very unhealthy.

Psychologically. at the same time, it's also making people very unhealthy psychologically. During the COVID time, we have been sending kindful help to people in 16 countries. And now I do this not because I have money, I don't work. And then people see, like, you know, how this act of kindness in bringing positive changes or helping the people in other countries. Let's say for me, I have never seen these people in person, but I really take them as part of my family. I have embraced the whole world as my family. So if we can plant the seed of kindness into one person's heart and mind, if that person chooses to do this, and then from that person another person

will learn it. When you are kindful scientifically yeah what does it actually do to your health to your body? So it's more neuroscientific things let's say we see a lot of things we We see, we hear, we smell, we taste, we touch. Okay? So this is called the motor cortex and we have this cerebral cortex in the brain. So that is responsible for thinking of what we see, what we hear and all this stuff. So whatever the cerebral cortex is thinking and creating thoughts and it is sending those thoughts to nervous system and then based on the thought nervous system is sending a message to the gland and the gland is secreting hormones based on the message from the gland and secreting hormones into the blood.

And then the heart is pumping the blood, hormones into the entire body. So now if we think kind thoughts, if we speak kind words, if we do kind deeds, and this is going to have big impact not only on the body but also on the mind. Bhante, if somebody is mean to you, if somebody hits you, your natural inclination is to hit back. How do we fight that human nature to do what you suggest? We have this human nature because this is the habitual reaction. It's something like this.

Let's say there's a snake going by. If you throw a stone at the snake, and it was a natural reaction. Yeah. Right? So now, the snakes have no brain. Right? But we have a brain. We have a mind. So we had to think why this snake is reacting like this. Right? Because there's a reaction from outside. So now, if I remain calm, like in my real life, I had that kind of experiences, but I chose not to react. I understand why people react like that,

because they don't know who I am. That people are acting out of ignorance. But I want to bring wisdom into action so I know who I am. I understand they are reacting to me because they don't know who I am and why I am doing this. So this is something we all want. Breathe in, may I be, breathe out happy. Breathe in, may I be, breathe out peaceful. Breathe in, may I be, breathe out free. without fear.