The Always Sunny Podcast - The Gang Exploits the Mortgage Crisis
Episode Date: January 16, 2023I gotta go to the stars, baby....
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Testing, testing, one, two, three, testes.
Oh, Megan laughing.
It's a brand new, beautiful podcast studio.
And we're back.
And we're back.
Happy New Year, everybody.
Yeah.
Are we starting?
Oh, we're always, are we gonna ask that question
every time?
It's not gonna start.
Just felt false.
Okay.
We're like a happy new year.
You're dead, dead eyes.
Dead eyes.
I'm saying, but you're not believing it.
Because New Year's, are they happy or are they just?
New. Time.
Or are they just new?
Time.
Yeah. Time passing.
I'm feeling very happy.
Yeah, me too.
I'm feeling good.
We've been having fun.
We have.
We're here in the,
and this is the writer's rooms of,
it's always sunny in Philadelphia, season 16.
We are in the thick of it.
We are under the gun.
How many weeks before we start shooting?
Three?
No, not even.
No.
11.
Two and a half.
10 days?
10 work days?
Yeah.
16 days?
No, I don't know.
I think 16 days is almost.
16 days.
But like, yeah, like only like 10 work days
or something like that.
Well, we're gonna have to dip into the weekends
and late at night, you know, to get it done.
Man, I've been parking real close to the pole.
I hope you've been satisfied.
You guys, wait.
Okay, so this is good.
Actually, it's good that you brought that up.
So we're in a parking garage right now
and I am squeezed in between two.
So it's a three.
It's like.
My car and Charlie's car.
There's three spots.
Yeah.
There's three spots and then columns, right?
Yeah.
And Charlie's on the right and Meg's on the left
and I'm squeezed right in the middle.
So nervous.
And I gotta say.
No, listen, you should be
because I would be very upset.
But you guys are just, I mean, it seems like
it seems to be working.
We're nailing it, right?
But it's only working because you guys
are parking so close to the column.
It can work.
And we would all be.
Yeah, you taught us a little something
about your needs and respond to them.
And you listened.
And we listened.
You responded.
Now, is that gonna care?
Now, are you only doing that for me
or would you do that if it wasn't?
No, I think that's gonna carry on in my life.
My pole work will be a little bit, you know,
more professional now that I know it will please someone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We have a lot of work to do.
Like, we should not be in this room right now.
No.
But.
But it's good.
It's nice to be in here taking a break.
But man, we.
Yeah, it's more fun.
Megan, how are you coming on your draft?
I spent most of the day setting up this room.
Okay, that was what I was worried about.
No, I'm coming along fine.
I kind of skipped past the hardest scene,
which is the like set up scene of all of the stories.
Finding a fun way to do that is so difficult.
Like actually, I noticed it in this episode
that we're talking about mortgage crisis.
You found such a fun way to like get both stories started
because you just did that bit of like D coming in
with her news and you guys all ignoring her.
And then Frank coming in and you immediately being
interested in his news and kind of comparing the two
and thinking maybe we'll combine them,
but that ultimately just ditching her thing,
which is just like gave it some energy.
And so I'm in that scene now.
And it's like, it's, I'm trying to find like a fun way
to get all the information out that I need to,
in order to get the story started, which are really fun.
So I just started writing the other scenes.
It is funny to go to look at these older episodes
and be like, wait, what was happening in the world?
Like there was more, is it, was it the 2008 mortgage crisis
that we were dealing with?
Like.
We shot the episode in 2009.
We actually broke the original, we broke this story
in 2008 for season four.
We broke it in season.
We broke the story.
We did, and.
Yeah, so we're talking about the mortgage crisis.
Should we, do you want to do the intro for this episode?
Yeah, I can do that.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, we'll fill people in.
A little structure.
Remember that from last year?
A little structure.
So yeah, we're talking, we've started season five today.
The gang exploits the mortgage crisis.
It aired on September 17th, 2009.
It was written by Becky Mann and Audra Seeloff
and directed by Randall Einhorn.
In this episode, Frank buys a foreclosed house
with intentions of selling it for profit.
Mack and Dennis become hotheaded real estate brokers
and D takes advantage of a suburban couple
looking to hire a surrogate mother.
So yeah, we broke the story in 2008
in the writer's room of season four.
Wait, were Becky and Audra on season four?
They were, I believe, I think so.
They were in season four and then the first draft
they got in was season five, is that right?
Well, I can't remember why we kicked it.
I don't know if it was because we,
why did we kick that to season five?
Do you remember?
I don't know, it just came up with the thing
that we're like, this will be better this season
for whatever reason.
Yeah, maybe.
That's so nice and so rarely happens
where we have an extra episode.
Oh, he was, yeah.
Waterpark was that.
Yeah.
But, yeah.
Yeah, going into season five, yeah, it was like,
I remember being like, oh, we have that
like mortgage crisis thing that's like almost,
I don't remember what state it was in,
but I remember knowing it was an episode.
It's just a really good cult.
I just like really enjoyed the cult opened
and it was when I was writing today,
I was like, I just need something like that
that makes it like fun to get all that information out.
Cause it is a lot.
Like you got to set up all the stuff about like,
where no one tells you.
The online only ever goes so far, right?
So we'll be in the room, we'll break out
what each scene is gonna be,
but then how you actually execute the scene
is really what makes the scene work.
So there's a version of that called open
where D comes in, spouts her information,
Frank does his, but without the joke,
then what is the scene?
So you always have to come up with like,
well, what is the, and it's never easy.
It's figuring out how to bury the exposition
and what order to pull it out.
Like if there's, if you're getting on all this information,
it's like, what order, what's the most effective order?
What's necessary?
Yeah, what's necessary?
What do you need in the scene versus, yeah,
I'm stuck in that on that one,
but I just moved ahead to other scenes
and I'll like go back, I think to that one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll get it done Thursday, right?
I've told Thursday.
Thursday morning.
Okay, so here's something,
here's a fascinating summoner
that we've just become accustomed to,
but usually we would say,
oh, okay, let's have the script send by Thursday.
And we always forget.
We always forget to say Thursday morning,
because if you say Thursday and rightfully so,
people wanna do their best
and they wanna make sure they have as much time as they can.
We get it, but it'll be Thursday at 11.59
and you'll get something in your inbox.
We'll be asleep.
Because Rob Rosell will wait until the absolute,
Megan will get it in early in the morning.
I'll try.
Rosell will get it in there
unless we say Thursday morning.
The last possible minute.
Yeah, yeah.
And he's technically correct,
but we can't work on it on Thursday.
Right, yeah.
But we can't work on them all on Thursday anyway.
Technically we should kind of stagger them.
Yeah, that's not a bad idea.
That's why my move is to turn in a draft
and then keep working on it
and then turn in another draft.
If you guys haven't started reading it yet.
Megan has an insane, that is so strange.
Yeah, right.
Megan's turning in your deadline.
Right, and if we just happen to be free
and we get to it,
but if you don't, you're like,
read this one instead because I had the extra time I wanted.
Why not?
But if you didn't, and we started,
you could always walk in the room and say,
hey, I had these other ideas.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm not confident.
Keep the thing moving.
Probably though, the fastest draft that I would write
would be the best one
because I think that my drafts become over complicated
when I get to-
Start picking them apart.
Yeah, I almost think the best version of it
is the thing that I can never do,
which I always try to do,
which is just shit out something as fast as possible
with no attempted jokes, the most basic,
what is needed for the scene and then move on
and then go back and make it kind of funny here and there.
We talk about this all the time.
I don't know if we've talked about this on the podcast,
but one mantra that we've adopted,
certainly in Myth of Quest,
but we talk about it a lot on this show,
is just get it wrong faster.
And we all do that.
Like we just try to turn it around as quickly as possible
to get it back to the collective
because there is no wrong and there is no right.
So the quicker you can get it back into the process
of as many really funny minds as possible,
the better for the-
As long as you know what matters,
because if you turn in a draft
that's just a total fucking mess,
then you're creating more work for everybody, right?
But if the story's working,
if the characters all have motivations
and everyone's got an arc and the story has a good-
Yes, but if it's a 24 to 26 page script
and you're a professional writer
and it's already been broken,
you have and you have seven days to do it.
If you spent all day every day working on that script,
there's no, it should not take you seven days
to get there, right?
But most likely it gets you to three or four
and then you're fine tuning.
And then the question becomes
when has it become diminishing returns
to where you're fine tuning things
that won't wind up structurally even-
Yeah, for a listener at home,
I mean, ideally before we send someone off on a draft,
so much of the work has been done in the room of outlining
that there's enough there that, yes,
you should be able to turn around in that much time.
Not to say that you should be able to write a script
in seven days,
but we've done a lot of work
before you go off to write that script.
This episode, The Mortgage Crisis is a great example
of something that has a lot of really funny ideas
and moments and scenes and characters
and things that have stood the test of time.
I hear about Vic Vinegar all the time.
We're burning all this.
The bird law, yeah.
And yet I don't think this episode is very good at all,
but there's really fun and funny moments in it.
Well, I like about the bird law conversation
that you think it's just like a classic downbeat
of you guys talking about something
that doesn't matter at all at the beginning
about whether you can keep a hummingbird as a pet.
Says the guy who knows nothing about the law.
I can absolutely keep a hummingbird as a pet, bro.
It's no different than having a parrot or a parakeet.
It's a bird, bro.
You really can't?
And I'm not saying I agree with it.
It's just that bird law in this country,
it's not governed by reason.
There's no such thing as bird law.
Yes, there is.
I don't even remember why we thought it was,
look, what was the deal with bird law?
Who came up with that?
Like the idea of like there being laws
that specifically govern how birds work or...
It's hard to remember.
Is it meant to be like how,
what are the laws amongst birds?
Or is it meant to be like, what are the laws...
What are the laws regarding man and bird?
Yeah, regarding man and bird.
You know what I'm saying?
Like what was funny about it?
Like just like birds were funny,
like conversations about seagulls and hummingbirds
and things that was funny.
And then like the parameters around like,
well, there probably are some kind of rules for,
you know, you're probably not allowed
to keep a bald eagle in your house or something.
I don't know, like some birds would be protected.
So just feeling like there was an area
of legal expertise that Charlie felt as though he had some,
you know, or I felt as though I had some ownership over.
I guess that was it.
How can you remember?
It's so long ago.
I ran into Randall Einhorn this year.
Again, Randall Einhorn who directed this episode
and has directed many episodes.
Yeah, but he hasn't directed many in a while.
So maybe his last season was like eight or something, you know?
And it was funny to see him and be like,
wow, it's a long time since I've seen you, you know?
And yet you know him so well.
Where'd you see him?
Did you work with him?
No, I just bumped at like a Hollywood function thing.
No, you go on Hollywood parties?
I went to one.
You went to big parties?
No, that actually sounds a lot more interesting
than the podcast.
What kind of function?
What was the function?
What is the soiree?
A party?
It was a soiree, but I have to remember what it was
specifically if it was like Oscars or Emmys
or one of those things where everyone dresses up.
How dressed up were you?
Medium, cocktail, attire.
Yeah, cocktail, attire, right?
And it was raining, so I remember there was a tent
and I saw Danny there and...
Danny DeVito.
Yes, I saw Randall Einhorn.
I saw Paul Walter Houser, who played our Juggalo
and he's gone on to be a great, great actor.
So, you know, I saw Scott Marder there
and I said, come back and write the season.
He's like, I don't know if I can.
And then he proceeded to tell me a really funny story
about how his dad had been ordering this meat
and he got this great deal on this meat.
And then only like later, like months later
for his wife to realize that he had been ordering
dog food and didn't realize he was-
He'd been eating dog food.
Yeah, and we're like, this is why we need you back
in the writer's room.
That's a perfect Frank storyline.
And he's like, I'm back and then he's not been back
but we just found out today, he's back.
Oh, really?
Yeah, dog food, dog food during the day
and cat food at night is pretty funny.
Yeah, there you go.
You know what I mean?
You gotta balance it out.
You know, because now-
You can't eat cat food during the day.
I'll put you to sleep.
And I'll tell you why.
I'll tell you who's good at those parties is Mary Elizabeth.
I mean, we went to one of them and she winds up
bumping shoulders, rubbing shoulders with Taylor Swift
and Taylor Swift's like, I'm a huge Sonny fan.
And then she's like, I'm being my music video.
So nothing like that ever happens to me.
I just speak to people I already know.
That's it, right, I gotta do that too.
I'm like, hey, we know each other, we can talk.
So I assume with somebody like Taylor Swift,
I'm like, she does not want to talk to me.
That's my assumption.
That's my assumption.
That's my first assumption.
I'm like, she wants to talk to like, you know,
Leonardo DiCaprio or somebody.
She doesn't want to talk to me, you know,
but little do I know, she desperately wants to talk to me.
Yeah, apparently.
So anyways, according to that story,
I'm gonna assume next time I see her that she wants to talk.
So Taylor Swift was also at this party?
That was a different one.
Oh, that was a sorts of these kinds of parties.
I went to two.
Two parties.
Two parties?
Two parties?
Two functions?
Yes.
Two functions?
Wow.
Yes, I went to the one where-
And you don't remember what either function was about?
They were like industry night things.
It was either Oscars or Emmys.
They had these big old parties and everyone gets together
and I never go.
And Mary Elizabeth was like, you never go to these things.
Why would Taylor Swift go to the Oscars or the Emmys?
He doesn't know what the party was.
He's just throwing out which one it was.
We have to call Mary Elizabeth and she'll know.
Here's how I always feel.
Well, I'm not invited to the Oscars or the Emmys
or anything, so why the fuck would I go to any of these things?
And Mary Elizabeth says, because it's good, you meet people.
It's good.
And she's right, she meets people.
And I see people I know.
And that's, you know-
That's not totally-
I do tend to be very fun.
They're very fun.
You meet someone, you find out they're a fan and it's fun.
It's good.
Yeah, yeah, it's nice.
It's nice.
But you also meet someone and you say that you're a fan
and they seem like not so interested and you're like,
well, that sucks.
Yeah, that's a bummer.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a bummer.
You're like, at this point, like, oh well, oh well.
I tell you my Matthew McConaughey, no, Matthew McConaughey.
Oh, Christ, there goes the brain people.
Uh-oh.
We've been writing all day about Matthew Broderick.
Matthew Broderick star.
Matthew Broderick.
Are you, oh no, I haven't heard this call.
Did you ever run in with Broderick?
I did.
We were at SNL's 40th anniversary party
and that was a fun night.
Everybody who was there, everyone was there, except you guys.
Well, this was a while, 40th?
That was a while ago.
Yeah, this was a while ago.
Like 10 years ago?
Yeah, something like that now, yeah.
I'm like, there's Matthew Broderick.
I'll say hi.
I'll say hello.
Sure.
And he's kind of blowing me off.
Like, I'm just like some fan.
And he's blowing me off.
He's not being a dick, but he's also like, you know,
really not engaging me.
And just at one point I go, just so you know,
I'm a person of value.
He said that?
Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
I've never told you this story.
It wouldn't move.
No.
Yeah.
And that stopped and got his attention.
And he laughed.
Did he laugh?
Yeah, yeah, he laughed.
And then we chatted for a minute.
But I don't know, I don't know where.
This seems weird for a guy who literally just told us
that he goes to these parties and only talks to people
that he knows for you to be not only trying to talk
to Matthew Broderick, but being so insistent upon it
that you would say something to him, like, just so you know.
Well.
And I know you were joking, but.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, I'm joking.
But like, probably because, yeah, I don't feel like I have
great interactions at those things.
And then I would probably just like, ah, fuck it, man.
Come on.
Fuck off, fuck off, man.
Talk to me for a second.
And that was good.
He was lovely.
It was, it was fun.
And is that because you're a big Matthew Broderick fan?
Were you excited to talk to Matthew Broderick?
What are you, what are, what are your favorite Matthew Broderick?
Election.
Oh yeah, he's great in the election.
Great movie.
And he's great in it.
Yeah.
Paris Buellard's Day Off.
Oh, the French for you.
Yeah, the French film.
That's a good one.
Yeah.
And others.
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Charlie and I got into a fight.
We got into, well, in the parking lot.
I mean, when you had to put, God, Glenn, no, not following.
No, he was trying to do a bet.
Oh, that wasn't funny.
None of it's funny.
I was trying to perpetuate the myth.
Yeah.
I find myths annoying.
You know, it's like a gossip.
I'm irritated by a myth.
Making shit up and it's like, make shit up.
Hate, get the fucking facts.
What about Greek myths?
You hate it?
Joseph Campbell's works.
A fictional myth is fine.
But being like, Glenn was crossing his leg all episode and I
think he might have to stick to the cancer.
That's like conspiracy theories.
Yeah, and there was a lot of conspiracy theories.
Re-editing of...
What we're talking about is how listeners...
We were talking about the live episode that we did for the
of the holidays to raise money for charity
and Charlie and Rob had a very like,
I didn't think you guys were that heated at all.
No, as a matter of fact,
if anyone thinks that that was fighting that,
that's coming from someone who has no ability
to work through confrontation in a healthy way.
That was a, I would say that that was a very healthy,
confrontational feels like too strong of a word,
but it was somewhat confrontational in the sense
that you were confronting Charlie about something,
an issue that you have with him sometimes
when we're writing or when we're working on the show.
And, but that doesn't,
but like there's so many negative connotations that,
but it shouldn't, it shouldn't have to be that way.
We should be able to have very honest
and open conversations about issues
that we're having with each other and do it in a way
that's, you know, productive and helpful.
But it didn't actually seem like we were in a fight, right?
It was, it was fun that when somebody re-edited,
they re-edited it to make it look like it was.
No, I think it was because we were arguing
about a creative point on filter,
which is much more true to how the show works, right?
Like, although there was moves involved,
but like, we had those arguments all the time.
Maybe I'm just so desensitized.
I have those kinds of conversations
with almost everybody in my life.
I know, but you are unique in that regard.
But you guys have those arguments with each other and-
Have what?
You guys have those same kind of arguments
with each other and I'm sure I have them with you
as well.
I have one with Meg all the time.
Yeah.
No, I had not had an argument with you like that, but-
No.
No, I will.
I feel it's coming.
You know what I mean?
It's like-
One day.
I feel like it's, you know what I mean?
It's on data.
It's right on the precipice.
Right on the type of our, you know.
No, I don't.
Like, I mean, honestly, that wasn't even an argument.
It was like you saying the thing that you think is important,
Charlie saying the thing he thinks is important.
Neither of you were asking the other person to change.
You were just like-
You said things like, and I think you're dead wrong.
Now, to most people, to most people,
that comes off as extremely confrontational and negative.
To Rob, that's just like, I'm telling you how I feel.
I'm not saying I'm right.
Yeah.
And that's the difference is that if you're saying,
you are dead wrong and I know I'm right,
that to me is the difference between it being healthy
and unhealthy.
When you say, if somebody says in a creative conversation
like, this is what I think, and you think this way,
and I have to say, I think you're dead wrong.
But as long as the openness to finding out
that I'm actually the one that's dead wrong is there,
then I think it's a healthy confrontation.
As long as you're willing to, you're never,
that's the thing.
Well, we have those arguments.
I don't know, you could ever have a conversation
with somebody and not express the way you feel,
or you're just lying.
People do it all the time.
Are you kidding me, dude?
I think though, just because there was like
a little booze involved, it had a little bit less
of the breaks that would normally have.
You know what I mean?
We would have the same conversation,
it would just may be down one peg.
So, I think,
instead of having an eight, it would be at a seven.
Yeah, it would be at a seven.
But like, you didn't seem angry when you were saying it.
You just seemed like you were being honest to a degree
that I think the average person would be very uncomfortable.
Around somebody they've known for 20 years.
No, no, no, no.
Dude, people, I guess.
People go through entire marriages for 40 years
without really confronting them.
Wrap my head around that.
No, neither can I, by the way.
I'm with you.
I'm 100% with you, I think.
I think Charlie and I could do it.
Like, just avoid conflicts that much.
No, no, I think that we,
and I think, you know, look, I avoided a little bit.
I don't think I avoid it quite as much as you do,
but I will say that we've gotten much better at it.
I think I used to avoid it more, yeah.
I think I'm pretty good now at just being like
hearing the information, taking a second with it,
and then just be like, no, I think this.
But that took a while to develop.
I think in the beginning I would avoid it.
Yeah, because it can be uncomfortable.
It's like, it's hard, and you feel that,
like, you feel your ego, right?
You say something to me like,
you say something to me like,
I think you're dead wrong about this.
There's always gonna be this little part of me,
that ego part of me that goes,
that goes, fuck this guy, I think he has fucked this guy.
Like, how dare he fucking say that to me?
I'm dead fucking wrong, like that's bullshit, you know?
But then I go, oh no, that's just my ego.
Like, he's saying he thinks I'm dead wrong.
That's just his opinion.
He is entitled to his opinion.
Who the fuck am I to say that he's not entitled
to that opinion?
I can argue my point, and I can try to convince you
how and why I'm not dead wrong, you know?
But I should also confront the possibility
that maybe I am dead wrong.
But that's how we always do,
and anytime we have a discussion like that,
is we have a post discussion afterwards, right?
Like a follow up, which we did do the next day,
which was like, I think I was thinking this,
I think you were thinking this,
I think we were thinking this in the room,
and this is why we're feeling this way,
which is why we've worked together for,
I mean, 16 seasons, but 20 years.
Yep.
Yeah, 20 years this year, actually.
2003, yeah, 2003.
The fall of 2003 was when we shot
the very first version of the home movie.
Yeah, buddy.
Wow. Yeah, buddy.
So this will mark the 20th year of us working together.
You guys gonna do anything?
We should.
Special little something?
With each other?
We probably won't, but we should.
All right, well, should we talk about the mortgage episode?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I want to talk about Brian Unger in this episode.
He's the best.
Brian Unger, man, is so damn funny.
A lot of good actors in this episode,
like P.J. Byrne works all the time.
Is it Burke or Byrne?
Byrne.
Byrne, yeah, Byrne, yeah.
I was like, Tad, is that the dad of the family
that owns the house?
Yeah, no.
Oh, it's the...
It's the guy we want to sell the house to.
He's the guy he freaks out
with the honey and vinegar scene where he yells at him.
Ah, okay, yes.
He's like in Scorsese movies and stuff,
like he works all the time on the bike.
Our buddy, Ben Koldike,
who we did the pilot of Boldly Going Nowhere with.
He was the lead of our pilot, a very funny man.
Oh, and he plays the husband
of the couple that's buying Dee's baby.
Correct.
Yes, the great Melanie Linsky.
Yeah, Melanie.
I feel like he needs no description.
Everyone knows who Melanie is.
Yeah, they were super funny.
Okay, so, sorry,
but do you have any history with drugs or alcohol?
Never, neither.
It's great.
She is so good.
I'm going to throw in a plug
for Melanie Linsky for a second here.
She did a movie that I believe won Sundance one year.
It was bought by Netflix and it kind of flew under the radar.
It was a movie called I Don't Feel at Home
in This World Anymore.
And if you guys have not seen that movie,
it is fantastic.
It's her and Elijah Wood and Christine Woods.
Is that her name?
Wait, who plays the mother of Dennis's child?
She's incredible in the movie.
It's a thriller.
It was made by Macon Blair,
made by the great Macon Blair,
who's an incredible writer and director.
Anyway, if you haven't seen the movie, it's great.
And if you guys have not seen the movie,
you should check it out.
It's a lot of fun.
It's really, really funny.
It's very Coen Brothers-esque.
It's really, really funny,
but it's also a thriller and it's dark
and it's kind of gruesome in moments and there's action,
but it's also super funny.
Have you seen Mythic Quest?
Have I seen what?
Mythic Quest.
Mr. Quest.
What is this?
Have you seen Welcome to Wrexham?
I'm just wondering about, you're talking about these.
Don't, I don't want to.
Tiny indie movies that no one's ever heard of
and you're giving Melanie plugs for them,
but you've never seen anything.
By the way, not just me.
The Macon also works on Charlie created the show.
You've never seen it.
I've seen as many episodes of Welcome to Wrexham
as you have of AP Bio.
Untrue.
How many episodes of AP Bio have you seen?
10.
Okay, I've seen eight episodes of Mythic Quest,
so I'm almost there.
Oh, how many of Wrexham?
Because that's what you started with.
That's what I know.
He was talking about it the other day.
I didn't start with any.
You just said I've seen as many, it doesn't matter.
He was talking about Mythic Quest the other day in the room
and complimenting it specifically David.
Well, I was complimenting his performance in the show.
I think the show is, I think it's fantastic.
I do, I just, you're right.
Listen, it's fair, it's fair, it's fair.
Part of it is that I can't get Jill to watch anything
with me and there are things that she wants to watch together,
but then I can't, so then I'm like feel.
But that robs things.
Hand in.
No, no, no.
I'm saying we don't watch anything together anymore
because our kids never go to bed anymore.
It's a high class product.
Can you imagine when we started this show
that there was a common point in time
where we were fortunate and privileged enough
to be in a situation where we're doing so much work
that we had not seen each other's shit?
I think about that all the time actually
because when we were first getting started
and we would have people in our friend group
that would get a job.
You'd see it.
Big event, oh yeah, a movie or a TV show
would be a huge deal.
And now, yeah, people are just,
everybody's working, which is great.
Did they get the heat turned,
it feels like they got the heat turned back on.
Yeah, it's hot now.
His turn back on today was the first day
that we had heat in this building.
So there's been no heat.
And we had a major studio lot.
Yeah, it's been.
In the middle of the Atmospheric River.
Yeah, a week and a half,
it took for them to turn their heat back on.
I mean, we were like huddled around.
And people are gonna come out with heaters.
I wore my thickest sweater today
because I was like, it's gonna be like, we're gonna have some.
I can already imagine the creeps
and the listeners already jumping on top of us
for complaining about how cold it is in our office
because we're in California.
It was 58 degrees.
I was freezing.
In my office.
That's fucking cold.
For an entire day.
That's cold.
Yes.
That's cold for an indoor environment.
That's L.A. cold.
Yes.
No, but for an indoor environment.
For an indoor environment.
58 degrees in an office building.
In North Dakota this time of year,
you're like 58 degrees, let's go to the beach.
Okay, well, yes.
Yes, if you're outside.
But again, 58 degrees in your office
when you're just sitting there at your desk, that's cold.
Even in North Dakota.
People were wearing winter hats and shit.
Well, just for those people in the Dakotas,
then we'll stop complaining about that.
And I really do want to talk about Brian Unger
just cause I was watching this episode
and realizing that he occupies such a funny space,
which is like he is a straight man to you guys,
but not really.
Like he, like Charlie comes in to threaten him
to challenge him to a duel and he accepts.
Immediately.
Immediately.
Well, well, well, well, well.
If it isn't the big time hot shot lawyer, man.
Oh my God.
I do not have time for you.
Yes, sir.
We both have busy schedules.
So I'll make this quick.
A shot mints words with you for long.
I am challenging you, sir, to a duel.
I accept.
Are you serious?
No, I accept your challenge.
That's the funniest scene in the whole episode.
Yeah, that's not straight man, funny man.
That's too funny, man.
You know, he really is.
So good in that.
It's like I almost start to become the straight man
as he becomes the aggressor in that scene.
So you're the antagonist coming in
and then he turns antagonist.
Yeah, he's really, really good.
It was so funny and he's talking about
putting one between your teeth
and it popping out the back of your head.
And Charlie, you're just covering your mouth.
Like in the, it's such a good act break too.
It's like such a good, like, uh-oh.
Little known fact, Brian Unger was
on the original Daily Show.
Yep.
The original Daily Show before John Stuart.
When it was Craig.
Craig Kilborn.
Kilborn, yeah.
He was one of the correspondents.
He was one of the original correspondents
and was super-duper funny on there.
We have to talk about Vic Vinegar and Hugh Honey
from this episode.
This is the birth of them, correct?
Well, it's the birth and death.
The birth and death.
Yeah, yeah, we did bring one done.
I think one and done with those guys.
No, because you brought,
you call yourself Vic Vinegar again
when you're playing a bodyguard.
Oh, oh, yes.
The Brian Lefebvre stuff.
But maybe Hugh Honey doesn't come back in that.
And I tell him that he's washed.
I'm like, you're washed up vinegar
or something like that, right?
Like you got no, you got no follow through.
I can't remember what I said.
That storyline is so bizarre.
It's like, you just announced
you're gonna do a good real estate.
Good realtor, bad realtor.
Good realtor, bad realtor thing.
And then we just watched it.
I bet, you know, but it's still funny.
It's really funny.
And culminating the line of Max saying,
I should take your wife upstairs and show her
what it's like to be deep inside a really big house.
How would I take your wife upstairs and show
what it's like to be deep inside a really big house?
What?
What?
What?
This doesn't make any sense.
Yeah.
But there's something good about like being young enough
to not feel as though we need to justify it more, you know?
Like.
Well, the fans say you didn't,
cause the fans love it.
Yeah, they say I'll be into it.
There you go.
Funny, funny, funny.
And if you think this episode is not that good,
I would say you're out of touch and you're dead wrong.
So coming together at the house felt zany.
Yeah, like silly.
We didn't need to do it.
You mean when we come over and bash the door in?
No, that's great.
Oh, with the end.
At the end.
Yeah.
Like we need to get to, I need a place to hide and.
I don't know.
I liked you guys all ending up in the pool.
Don't buy the house.
Frank doesn't want to buy the house.
Yeah.
He thinks that we're merging the baby in the house thing.
So we're gonna.
Yeah.
I thought that was something we came up with on the day.
Like we had a different ending scripted and we're like.
I think that was in the script.
I actually liked it coming back
because you announced at the beginning,
should we merge the ideas?
And then you ended up merging them,
which I think is kind of funny.
It's satisfying.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Good.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's why we did it.
We wanted to seem smarter.
Merge.
Honey, they made a merge reference and then they did merge.
Not, but I'm sure that is why we did it.
The stunt of the, of.
Jack 9.
That's good stuff.
That was a stunt.
That was a stunt person, stunt woman.
Watch me bust out this sweet jackknife.
Oh.
Whoa.
I've never seen before or since a stunt person.
They're always, I mean, they really throw themselves
like a hundred percent into everything that they do.
And they always want another take.
And they're always like, obviously very safe,
but still they want another take
because they want to get it better.
And you got to kind of rein them in and be like, we got it.
That was the first time I'd ever seen a stunt person go,
did you get it?
And we were like, yeah, we think we got it.
And she was like, good.
Right.
Do you want another take?
And she's like, no.
That's because there is no way to fake that.
You just legit.
You just got to take it.
You just got to take it.
You just got to take it.
Tighten up those abs and in you go.
Yeah.
That is a belly flop.
Yeah.
And you just, and she hit it hard.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She nailed it.
Dia's had probably the best stunt performances.
Amazing.
Like people work for her.
Like except a lot of them were her.
Yeah.
Well, she, she as well has done great things,
but she's also had great women working with her,
doing some incredible stuff.
Yeah.
And the double was great.
Absolutely looks like it's her.
No, you can't do it.
No, I can't do it.
Was that a stunt double of you guys
kicking through the door from the other side?
I love that bit that you were going to ram the door
from one side and then you don't get to.
So then you decide to ram it from the inside out.
And then there's like a lot of kicking it
that you guys are doing.
But you know, I said I'd never kicked in it.
That was us.
I said, I'd never kicked in the door before.
But it's not quite what you're kicking out of door.
Through it.
Kicking out the door.
That's true.
That door, you know.
And kicking through.
Yeah.
And it wasn't, but it wasn't a set.
I remember that was a whole thing because.
It was a breakaway door.
We had to take the door off of the hinges
and put a fake, put a fake door.
If you look closely,
there's actually some mismatches
of where the breaks are throughout the episode.
But there's also in that scene, another fly
that's buzzing above Charlie's head
when he's talking to the lawyer.
Let me handle this, Frank.
It's not Boyd-Bird.
He's making it to you.
Good points.
Look, buddy, I know a lot about the law
and various other lawyerings.
I'm well educated, well versed.
I know that situations like this, real estate wise,
they're very complex.
Actually, they're pretty simple.
The forms are all standard, boilerplate.
Okay, well, we're all hungry.
We're gonna get to our hot plate soon enough, all right?
Now let's say you and I go toe-to-toe on Bird Law
and see who comes out the victor.
You know, I don't think I'm gonna do anything close to that.
And I can see clearly you know nothing about the law.
It seems like you have a tenuous grasp
on the English language in general.
Okay, well, filibuster.
Now just to be clear, to digitally take a fly out of a shot
is so cheap and so easy
because it's just like a few frames here and there.
But was it in 2009?
100%.
Yeah.
Let's go back and look at our flying swarms.
I mean, as I pointed out,
we didn't even put a sound effect in
when we go through the door
and the friggin' battering ram lands on the ground,
there's no sound effect.
No clang, clang, nothing, just.
Oh, that one got missed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, like they destroyed like whole planets
in movies years before we were born
and it looked realistic.
You know, they can take a fly out of a show in 2009.
That's right.
But I didn't want to take the flies out.
It makes it look surreal.
Yeah, because it gives them more life.
Rob thinks you're dead wrong.
No, I think you're dead wrong.
I think what happens is it takes you out of it.
There's not enough flies in Mythic Quest.
I gotta get that out of there.
I think you gotta get that out of there.
Office to pristine, that's your problem, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think that's why I'm not responding to it.
You're not responding, you're just in the lack of flies.
You're picking up flies.
You hurt, well, you read about it.
It's like grounded, you know?
You read about it.
You read about it.
It takes you out of it.
And so far as Megan noticed that there was a fly.
If you'd noticed that there was a fly somewhere.
Why wouldn't there be a fly though?
Yeah.
Speaking of flies, my son asked about teleportation.
And he's like, can people do that yet?
And I was like, no, but maybe eventually one day.
But it's kind of an amazing potential technology
where it basically takes you down to an atomic level,
sends that information somewhere
and then rearranges all the atoms.
And he was like, well, that's cool.
I'm like, yeah, but what happens?
Just imagine this.
If while you're there, a fly comes into the chamber with you.
Wait, he pitched you the plot of the fly?
I pitched it to him.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
I was like, yeah, I know, this is great.
No, I wanna hear.
I was like, your kid is a genius, man.
I pitched it to him.
And he was like, what?
What would happen?
I was like, well, on the other end,
you would be part man and part fly.
And he was like, that's the coolest thing I've ever heard.
And I'm like, well, what do you think would happen?
And he was like, man, you'd probably eat a bunch of shit.
And I was like, yeah.
Well, so let me show you.
Yeah, and you'd become very attractive to women.
Here's the VHS.
Yeah.
Somehow you become more virile.
For a minute.
And then it takes a turn.
It takes a turn.
It takes a bit of a turn.
A real turn.
Yeah.
When you're at the coffee shop with your lovely lady
that you've become much more masculine for,
and then you pour the entire thing of sugar in your coffee,
that's where things take a turn.
That's where it took a turn for you.
That's not really where it takes a turn.
I can't remember.
It's been a long time since I've seen it.
Last night I drove over Cold Water Canyon in the rain.
Because that's where my...
It was really raining yesterday.
Scary?
Yeah.
Scary.
And like...
Sketchy.
Big time.
Like the amount of water that was just gushing
down the side of the hills.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, right.
You got caught in like a mushroom.
You think of a street named Cold Water Canyon.
Yeah.
I mean, I was warned.
I was warned.
You were warned.
You were told.
Right.
You didn't listen to me.
I was on my way to see...
I want to talk about it.
Mr. John Bryan.
Who's scoring the movie that I directed
and have been working on for so many years.
And I love this dude's work.
He is incredible.
But anyway, it was a scary, scary, scary drive over there.
Such a talented guy.
Yes.
And in fact, we were scoring a scene
that you happen to be in, spoiler alert.
But...
Is that like awakened something in you
of like some primal, like getting home
through like a storm and like, you know,
that sort of...
No, I was just like,
I don't know that I want to die.
Like listening to smart lists.
Oh my God.
You know, it's...
It's better to die listening to smart lists
than to die listening to your own podcast.
Yeah.
Imagine if you were...
Now that would be...
Yeah.
If like, you know, you're dead, you know,
and like you're all mangled.
And but the stereo is still going.
Yeah.
And it's the sunny podcast.
Yeah.
Well, here's when it goes in the story.
And they're like, oh man.
Yeah.
He's listening to himself.
Here's what happened though, like it really,
I got to a really hectic point.
A really like where the water was really coming down.
Oh, I thought you meant a hectic and smart list.
I was like, I don't think those guys get hectic.
No, but I was at the, I was on the ad
and Sean was reading some ad I didn't want to listen to.
And I was like, I can't look at my phone to skip the ad
because I really got to focus
to get through this little hairy part here.
And I was like, but I don't want to have the hairy thing
happen while I'm listening to the ad.
It would have been fine in the regular part of the episode,
but not.
These are the thoughts.
Yeah.
Speaking of ads.
Hey, you guys know what happened to me the other day?
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Yeah.
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You guys got any New Year's resolutions?
No, I didn't do that this year.
I've tried it in the past, but yeah, good.
Right on, yeah.
I didn't either.
I didn't either.
I make resolutions all year long, are you all?
He's giving up already.
Resolved to finish the sentence
or are you gonna give up already?
My mouth did not, it was my mouth that gave up.
My mouth gave up and then my body was like,
well, you just not gonna fucking do it, mouth?
Really?
And then I just then then my whole body gave up and you know.
What about you, did that set up for you?
Did you know it wasn't a set up?
I mean, yes, but my resolutions are only in place to,
for shame, because I-
That's the Catholic shit.
Yeah, like where I will, cause I'm like you.
I mean, we're all trying, all year trying to do.
Exactly.
Trying to better ourselves.
Trying to set goals for myself year on year.
And so what I find is I make, I set a goal
and then my goal this year, it was a very simple one,
which was to stop complaining so much.
Just stop fucking complaining.
Just whenever I feel like I wanna complain,
just be more grateful.
Cause A, it doesn't get you what you want.
B, it just makes you look and feel like a piece of shit.
Just be grateful.
And man, it's hard.
Yeah, I feel like you-
I might have doubled down.
It's a chip sale.
Part of the problem with resolutions
is sometimes it feels like you actually go
the opposite direction.
Yeah, and do it more so.
And it makes it, you create a stigma,
then it becomes even more appealing.
Yeah, but I will say that if you do at least make
some kind of internal proclamation that you hold yourself
maybe a little bit more accountable.
So I find myself maybe complaining,
maybe just as much, I don't know, but then I'm going.
Well, I think that's a noble goal, right?
It's good.
I mean, that's the, right?
That's the Eckhart Tolle.
I mean, that's the first step, right?
Is recognizing it when you're doing it.
Yeah.
Observing it.
So good on you.
Good on you.
I did have one, this wasn't a New Year's resolution,
but I did lay down a challenge to two of my nephews.
I've got three nephews.
My sister's got three boys.
They're older.
My 18 year old nephew and my 22 year old nephew,
I challenged them to a pull-up contest.
Now I'm 46.
I'm about to turn 47.
And I told those boys, I was like,
don't let me beat you in this pull-up contest.
But now I'm determined to beat you.
There's an 18 year old in the mix?
But he's big.
He's big.
He's strong, but he's big.
He's heavy.
So much energy.
I'm not saying he's fat.
He's big, you know what I mean?
Bigs is hard to push on.
So I don't know, but the other, the 22 year old
is a little leaner and he's been hitting the gym a lot.
You know?
So I was like, all right.
This will be a good challenge for me.
Pull-ups, pull-ups, pull-ups.
Is that hand forward or?
Yeah, and I'm a traditional like wide grip pull-ups.
How many are you getting, do you think?
I'm probably at 14.
Wow.
That's good.
I'm very impressed by that.
That's very good.
That's pretty good.
I can't do one.
That's not bad.
He's been doing, you've been doing with like weights tied too.
I haven't been doing that.
I've just, you know, so that's, that's,
I'm training for it.
Okay, because I said that we got to,
we got to get ourselves.
No touching the ground.
Feet don't touch down.
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no.
All the way.
I go over the bar.
No, I go to mouth.
I got a mouth.
That's far enough.
It starts to get a little strainy in a way
that I feel like it's kind of negative.
I think that's high enough, so.
I didn't do any gym resolutions,
but my resolution was based on something
I started doing at the gym,
which is that my trainer started telling me
when I would like,
because I would lift to the point where I like failed,
you know, couldn't lift whatever I was lifting.
And she would always say like, good job, you failed.
And I was like, that's just not like for me.
That doesn't work for me.
That doesn't compute.
But then I realized like, no, that's like,
that should be the new motto for 2023 is like,
trying and failing at stuff and then feeling good
about the fact that I failed at something.
Yeah, because that means you're like pushing yourself.
And doesn't feel good to hear that.
No, it doesn't.
But I kind of am like in a place
where I've got to get used to it
because I'm like trying so many new things.
And if I keep letting like every failure just rock me,
I'm never gonna like.
What a great metaphor though,
but like the reason you build muscles
because your muscle is failing.
And the only way that you can grow
is if you actually take yourself to that place.
Exactly.
You got to be willing to fail.
Yeah.
Got to be willing to fail.
To grow.
So that is a very good metaphor.
Yeah.
I had a trainer who would often do this thing where,
let's say we're doing something like 20 reps
and we would go,
he would go up to 10, right?
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10.
And then he would start going down, nine, eight, seven.
And it was kind of like counting down, right?
Yeah.
And I felt that psychologically,
I was like that, I was like, I had to tell him finally.
I was like, you know what?
When you count down, it saps my energy.
I don't like to count down as well.
I need you to be counting up all the way.
I've got to go to the stars.
I'll also break counts.
Seriously, like psychologically.
I'll break counts into a little smaller sets.
So do I.
If I'm doing 15, I do five, five and five.
Exactly.
Do you do that to me?
Yes, I do.
Hey.
Yes, I do.
No wonder you've been working again.
Because then I'm like, I only have to get to five.
And then I only have to get to five.
And then I only have to get to five.
Yes.
We should hang out.
We should hang out.
Dude, we should hang out.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.