The Always Sunny Podcast - Who's More Healthier? Part 2

Episode Date: October 3, 2022

I'm in a lot of pain, and I feel ill.

I think we should give him shit for not being here at 1245. He's here. I know, but he's on a call. It doesn't matter if you're here. We started 1245. It is another rules for that. I know, but you know what? We're rolling, right? When you say what time you're starting, that is what time you're starting. He did say, although it is 1242 when we said 1245.

OK, he's got three minutes. Nobody warned him. He's here, though. He was here before you guys. The doctor is here. The doctor is in. I know he's in because he took my spot. Late, though. Like, have you, I mean, by the way, people are on doctor time. You know what I mean? Doctors aren't on our time.

We're on their time because we need them to save our lives. OK. This is. I think that's fair. If if I don't know, we do. But but that's assuming he's on the phone right now with a patient. He could be on 90 percent. He could be on with his bookie. He could be on with his bookie. He could be on with his bookie like beyond with his mistress.

Sure. It could be his insurance adjuster. I don't know 90 percent patient spending. So I spent a lot of time around Dr. Kipper. He's Danny's doctor and he's my doctor. And and I consider him personal friend, but the man's phone is constantly ringing with while you're in the room with him. He's good about like having it off. But every now and then he's like, oh, this is like, you know,

the the Sultan of Dubai. And I have to go take this and make sure his cough is clear. I've always appreciated that about Dr. Kipper. I, too, have known him for a very long time. I made that up about the Sultan of Dubai. So please, no, no, just get off me. He gives his patients access. Sure. Well, yeah.

And that's great. Well, that is always the day. Let's do it. Here we are. You guys need lumbar support. But if you don't need this, I can remove this for you. I need different support, but he needs emotional support, emotional support. OK, I'll take his lumbar support then.

If he's not going to double up. Sure. But it's just I don't have one. Oh, I don't have one. OK. I was just telling a story. I was down. My wife and I were down in San Diego having dinner at a restaurant called Market, and I was talking to the chef. And I asked him if he had a good doctor down in San Diego, because we may be moving there soon.

And he said, yes, I do. In fact, his name is Dr. Kipper. Now, would that be your brother? I have two brothers that are doctors down there. So it would have been my younger brother, Stuart. Yes. OK. He didn't mention the first name, but he said, Kipper. I was like, that's crazy.

I'm literally about to see Dr. Kipper. L.A. Dr. Kipper. No, that's my that's my little brother. Well, you have you have how many brothers in total? I have two brothers and they're both doctors. Both doctors. Was your father a doctor as well? My father was a meat man.

A meat man. Is that just an older word for a doctor? A meat man. He was a doctor. That's all it is. Meat puppets, right? He's, you know. But I I love my brothers and he's really he's great.

And is he you're you're an internist? I'm an internist. OK. And are they internists? I'm an internist. My older brother is a nuclear medicine specialist. So he does all these crazy scans and I don't know what you're saying. Imaging studies and a nuclear medicine. A nuclear.

He does. Someone has a heart problem, a cancer problem, and they need imaging scans. And that's what he does. OK. What does that have to do with nuclear stuff? Well, they use nuclear isotopes. Is that right? Yes. Is that a new thing?

Yeah. It is a new thing. I'm doing those 60s, I think, but it's it's relatively new. OK. All right. I was not familiar. Now, of all your siblings, who has the most famous patients? It's got to be right. She said. Can't talk about.

OK. That's the best. We don't have to say names. I mean, we know. Well, he's practicing out of Beverly Hills. The brothers are in San Diego. Well, we can talk about one who's not here. And and thank you for keeping him alive so that he can do our show.

And why is he not invited? He's been invited many times. You know, Danny, he's he's elusive. He's elusive. He's elusive. You got to you got to grab him when he's around. You got to get him. Roll out the red carpet. Maybe he's not elusive for Dr. Kipper.

No, he's not. We'll break out some lemon cello and we'll get him here. OK. It's good. Yes. Well, how are you? Thank you. Thank you so much for doing this with me. I'm I'm I'm good. Thank you. OK. So are we good?

Question is, are we good? Now, so here's the thing. Yeah, how can we set this up? OK, let's set it up. Like, I want to ask a bunch of questions before we even get in. I think we I think that's fair. Let's give him some context for how we we got into this.

Yes, please. How did we get into this? We decided no, it was it was because the episode sweeties has a heart attack is coming up. Yes, we did an episode where one of the characters has a heart attack. She goes to the hospital and then she gets kicked out because she doesn't have insurance and she can't pay.

But we thought like, oh, this would be a good opportunity to find out if any of us are headed towards a heart attack country and, you know, get our numbers, you know what I mean? Get our blood taken and find out what's going on inside of our bodies. And but most importantly, to find out who's the healthiest amongst the three of us.

So it's versus each other is very much a competition. So there's four of us because there's also. Oh, I'm sorry. That's right. That's right. I forgot you got your your stuff taken too. Yeah, so so we are. This is a competition. And I'm just hoping that you're not

biased towards Charlie because he's your patient. Right. Well, I'll tell you this. I feel in some ways, I feel like I lost already because I don't know about you guys. But after we sent in our blood work, I got a call from the company, which is OK. OK.

Never a good feeling. You know, what do you mean the company? The company that's testing the blood saying, hey, quest diagnostic. Yes, we are required to call you and tell you about this result in your blood. Wow. OK. Now, so what was what was that?

You OK, man? I'm a goner. It's been good to know you guys. No, it was a cholesterol thing. But we'll see what the numbers actually mean because I think they wait. That's going to change your score. Did you then call Dr. Kipper?

I think it might be fair to have done it. I was about to get upset with you because that ruins the whole podcast. No, no, no, I was just. And by the way, we did not discuss. But I was like, hey, just so you know, I got a call from this company and they said, would you like to consult with our doctor?

I said, no, I have my own doctor and he can tell me I'm dying. So so maybe we'll cut all this so it can be revealed. But no, I got some numbers that were out of the range according to them, but maybe not according to this guy. We'll see. Well, here's what I do know. In the beginning now, it's going to be us versus each other. But at a certain point, I think if you give us all

equally bad information, it's going to be us versus you. And really, we'll be attacking you personally, attacking Western medicine in general. And since I'm interpreting this, guess who's going to win? Yeah. So medicine, probably science. I believe according to the Hippocratic oath, you can't.

Oh, you can't do harm. You can't do harm. We can do emotional harm, certainly. Well, I don't think we would try to come at you physically. I don't think you can do whatever you want. That's true. You're not bound by those same, you know, that's true. This isn't even a union.

We've not taken any sort of an oath here. Can I propose a I don't know what your format is, but initially it's chaos. It's sort of a fight to shell. Yeah, we'll cut it together. So there's four people that have all these numbers. And if it is a competition, we can certainly go point by point and say Rob wins this one, Glenn wins this one.

You like this one? I'm going to throw Charlie. You're liking this one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So a point for each category, whoever wins each category, kind of a thing? Yes. Could there also be like, oh, these are close.

These are both good numbers. Who's going to keep track of the total points? There could be that. There could be a tie for the two best. There could be a very bad number for who does the worst. I don't know if we subtract from the total. I like it. I like grading on scale.

Are we taking age into account, or is it just overall health? Because these guys are significantly older than me. We do have a year on them. And they have a year. A whole year a year. And we've got a few years on MEG, it's true. But if we're saying overall health, I don't think it should be relative to ours.

It doesn't matter. OK, we are who we are. OK. So however you want to do that, I mean, I'm happy to do. I like your proposal. Let's go line by line. We'll figure this out as we go, just like we have been doing the podcast.

Yeah. And so would you guys like a copy of everybody's results, or should you want to be surprised? I think we want to be surprised. OK. Before we do this too, can we all take a guess as to what places we're going to come in? OK, I'm going to guess that Rob is the healthiest,

followed by Megan. Sorry, followed by Glenn, followed by Megan. Interesting. I think. Just based on lifestyle choices. Yeah, I. Your lifestyle choices, I'm wondering if. I think extreme.

Too extreme. Too extreme. Got it. Too extreme in its tip. Yes, yes, yes. I do agree that I think Glenn is going to be. I think Glenn's going to come in second or third, though. I don't like.

But well, he had me a third, right? You had me a third. You had me a third. I think it's between Megan and Charlie. No, no, no, no, no. I'm very lax. That threw me a little bit. Yeah.

Meg's pretty healthy. I looked at my numbers already. I looked at my results. I looked at my results and they they lined up exactly with what I assume they were going to be because I just had blood work done like three months ago. And it's almost exactly the same, right? But I didn't change my nobody changed their routines or anything

like that. I did exactly what I was done. Yeah, there was one issue and that was generic to everybody is your blood pressures are all in the dangerous zone. This is a high stress job, Gipper. There's a lot of, you know, I think there's something wrong with that machine. Did they do it here or did they do it here?

They did it here on the wrist. Yeah. And it was I know that speaking for myself, I was not I hadn't eaten anything. And I was like on like a lot of coffee. And we also had all just had our blood drawn, right? Yeah, I can tell you this. I've never had high blood pressure in my entire life.

Well, I wouldn't say never. Fair enough, according to the one according to this. Yes. So I actually brought a blood pressure cuff. So we can either just knock this metric out and not bother with checking your pressure. Should we lose the blood pressure first or last? As like a tiebreaker. Yeah, let's take a look at it.

Although I feel like our blood pressure might be rising. No, it's calm under pressure. I'm learning a lot about ties from your TV show, Reksem. Yes, which is very good. I said, thanks. I watched it. I was excited. I'm interested also like what you thought of I want you back.

I love it. Yeah, we've talked about it. I told I texted you after I saw it. I loved it. I told you how much I loved it. We were playing golf. I can take you back to Lakeside Golf Club. This is probably the kid talk show

because I don't remember stuff. I texted you right after I saw it. I enjoyed it very much. I found it very enjoyable. We have a keeper here. Let's not waste this time. Let's talk about who's healthiest. What's the first metric?

Yes. So the first metric, we'll save the blood pressure for the end, right? OK, good. I'm not so sure there's going to actually be a tie that has to be. Does coffee affect it? Does coffee affect the blood pressure thing?

It makes it go up a little bit. I've had nothing but coffee. And none of you are on the lower side, so I wouldn't add more caffeine. I've had a tremendous amount of coffee. I had a five hour energy drink before I came here. All right, so at least we're all in the same spot. So that's my kidneys, my liver, and my heart.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. So let's do these one at a time and all sort of grade them as we go along and keep us tally here. OK. This is amazing. I'm so excited. My blood pressure is for alone.

You got a minute too. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you want to be the score keeper? I will keep score, yes. Oh my gosh. OK, excellent. Here's a.

Oh, we got a spreadsheet show. That's, you just made her dream come true. Look at that. It's a thousand times more prepared coming into this podcast than any of us have ever been. I know, because he's a grown adult with responsibilities. He assumes there's structuring thought put into. No, he doesn't.

All right, so the first thing that they measured was your BMI. That's your basic metabolic rate. It basically, it tells you how overweight you might be. And you all did very well. There was a tie. It was a three-way tie between Rob, Glenn, and Megan. Sorry, Charlie. Oh, yeah, I know.

You weren't far behind. But so you could put in three wins there. All right, so that's three points for you guys. And I lose a point. Do I need, OK, Charlie. I don't think you do. I think you just don't get a point. No, your BMI's, by the way, they were all good.

They were all in a very good range. OK, I like that. But they were all a little bit bad. I have a little more power, is what you're saying. Just a little more. A little bit more mass. If you could cultivate that mass. Yeah, yeah.

Now, if I was their height, my body mass would be very good. Again, you're sort of lost that one. This is a two-way tie for Glenn and Megan. Wait, wait a second. Wait, you lost that one? No, I definitely know I lost my height. It's just a question as to whether or not that makes you more healthy because you're taller.

Now, what does that mean? Because you're not saying we win because we're the tallest, right? You know that longevity data shows that if you're very tall, you have a shorter lifespan. OK, so that's a tie between the back and the high. For me. That's actually my mistake.

I'm sorry, I was a shorter lifespan. Got it. I would vote to strike that from the record because it doesn't really make any sense. I would also like to strike weight because I didn't enjoy that I was heavier than most of the guys. So if we could strike that one as well.

You were not a weight. You were the only person that was one-pound heavier than me. But muscle is heavy and you have a lot of muscle. So you're walking around with a lot of muscle. I saw your Instagram post today where you were pushing all kinds of weight. Oh my god. That's also extremely muscular.

And it's hard to just go around. By the way, I would, if I were you, push not to have that metric stricken from the contest. The height one? I'm finally coming in here. I know. Yeah. So I finally got a point.

What point for shortness? Wait a second. So if Danny was here, he'd be the most outlaw. Look at a man, he's still going. Asterisks. I've gone and given Charlie a point and I've also put an asterisk next to it. So we'll count up the asterisks at the end.

I'm sure there's going to be tons of those. I feel like I would deserve the point more if my body mass was life as yours. But I think Glenn gets a point just out of kindness because it's context of this. This is the genetics. So all of these things have to be interpreted in context. So you brought up genetics.

I think that's worth half a point. Yeah, yeah. Just for social consciousness. I know we're giving out points for that. I don't know. Too much stress over here. I appreciate that. I don't think I should get a point for it simply

because I think we should just be getting points for health. All right. Let's do the hard numbers stuff. The hard numbers. Now cholesterol will move into the fats and the lipids. The lowest number was Glenn. And that was your total. That was the total cholesterol.

But where the genetics come into play, that's where this one comes into play. Because cholesterol is a genetically determined metric. So it does matter how much you eat and what you eat to some degree. But your basic numbers are genetically predetermined. And when we relate this to heart disease, the genetics also take over.

Because if you have a family history, a strong family history for heart disease, your cholesterol has become that much more important. Especially if you have a first-degree relative that died early from a heart attack, like in their 50s, then these numbers become much more relevant. So not everybody needs. Yes, because in my family, we have historically

high cholesterol. But my internist tells me that it's not as big of an issue because we live into our 90s. And nobody dies of heart disease. They all die of prostate cancer and things like that. So a way to actually understand that is to do a really simple test. It's a calcium study of your coronary arteries.

It's a six-minute test. You don't get naked. You don't get stuck with a needle. You're laying on a table. And it measures the calcium in the three arteries of the heart. And if we see calcium in these arteries, it means that you're forming plaque. If you start to form a plaque, a cholesterol plaque,

if it lodges in the artery, it takes about 18 months for that plaque to scar down and become calcified. So if we see calcium on this scan, we then understand that you are putting some plaque into the arteries. So let's say you have a high cholesterol, but you have no plaque. You have no calcium.

Then that's a genetic cholesterol issue. And you're really not obligated to treat that. So the total cholesterol is meaningless. It's the bad cholesterol. So it's the component. Well, the total does matter because if it's really high, none of yours were really that high. I say no points.

Wait a second now. He said it doesn't matter. He didn't say it doesn't matter at all. He said it doesn't. Should I get a point for it? Well, you're about to get a point for what I'm about to explain. Maybe I get. So there's two kinds of cholesterol.

There's a good and a bad. And the good cholesterol is good because it grabs the bad cholesterol, puts it into the poop shoot, and it eliminates it. The bad cholesterol is the one that lodges in the arteries. So you want a high HDL. You want a low LDL. And the LDL numbers are interesting

because, as you pointed out, we're learning more and more about how these molecules work. We used to treat an LDL with statin drugs. And there was a coronary association. We would get those numbers below 130 when I started practice. And that number dropped to 100. That number then dropped to 70. And now it's 50.

Good God. Took a lot of people that had serious heart disease, bypass operations, multiple heart attacks. They gave them these lipid lowering medicines, these statins. They followed these people. And they followed their LDLs. And what they found was that the people

that had these low LDLs did better. So what are our numbers? Glenn, your number was you won. You were 73. And Rob, you were 137. Megan, you were 83. And Charlie, you were 110. So when they told you that your cholesterol was up,

it's really a meaningless number. But that's what they were referring to, the LDL. Or is it the LDL in relation to the HDL? So if your HDL is higher, does that cancel out some of the LDL? Yes. People that have a high HDL, for whatever reasons, they have better longevity statistics. So they're somehow eliminating the bad cholesterol.

And for reasons that I've never understood, they seem to do better. You can't do much to raise your HDL. That's sort of the problem. That's also a genetics number. So when I got a call, I think about the HDL, right? Which was high. You got a call about the total cholesterol.

But your HDL, actually, all of you did really well with your HDLs. Your HDL was 67. Rob's was 70. Glenn, 58. And Megan, you won this one. You were at 88. Hey, because you want to be higher there.

This is how I've chosen to score this. I'm going to give Glenn a point for his total cholesterol. I put an asterisk there because it's meaningless. I've given Glenn a point for getting the lowest LDL. And I've given myself a point for having the best HDL. That seems fair. That means the current health point score is Rob 1, Charlie 1, Glenn 3, and Meg with 2.

The other fat in the system is the triglyceride. And the triglyceride is just another form of fat. We don't associate this necessarily with heart disease. But as you pointed out, Glenn, there are studies now showing that a high triglyceride may, in fact, impact your problems with your coronary artery. So having said that, the winning number here, Megan, at 45, Glenn, you were 83, Rob 112, and sorry, Charlie,

you were 136. But those are all normal numbers. So none of those are bad. All within normal range. Yes, none of those are bad. Well, so like this can happen to be more normal? Well, so that's what I'm saying. In your opinion, then, does it, if we're all

within normal range, is it still significant? I mean, hers was, though, significantly lower, however. I will say, than even mine, she's at, what, 50 something? I was 83. Megan's at 45. If I had to pick the blood I would want, I would want the 45. Well, then she gets a point. That answers the question.

This is also genetically determined. And it's hard to really change that. But if you're massively overweight and you're eating all the wrong stuff, you certainly can raise your triglycerides. That's actually a good metric, too. The blood that you would want, or the number that you'd want, I think that's really good.

100%, totally. Because if it's all normal and it doesn't really matter, then this doesn't work. We need to find a way to weigh it. Me being a lady doesn't have anything to do with that, right? Oh, that's a good question. Very good question, no. No, OK.

Yeah, are there any advantages or disadvantages that any one of us will have for being either male or female? Socially, yeah. I would go ahead and knock a few points off just for being a woman in this society. Although she does live longer, she doesn't live as well. She does. But we control whether or not.

Exactly. But like 33 seconds to the point. Her testosterone's are going to be the lowest. Her PSA will be the lowest. And your estrogens will be the lowest. Right, OK. So it sort of washes out. This is a point where you want to pick your parents.

This is about picking your parents with the heart stuff and the fats. So there's a measure called a CRP, a C-reactive protein. And it's a generalized inflammatory marker. And that inflammatory marker indicates that there's something going on in your system. So people that have arthritis, people that have cancer, people that are overweight, that CRP number goes up.

And the more inflammation there is, the more likely you are to mutate yourselves and get cancer. And heart disease is also more vulnerable. So on that, we have a three-way tie for the best number, which would be, sorry, Charlie, would be Rob, Glenn, and Megan. You're going to be so sorry you asked me to do this. I know.

I predicted to be myself to be the loser. I'm a lot of pain. But your number was good. Your number was also normal. I made a lot of pain and I feel very ill. You guys were very normal and you were normal. So now how do we do it? So the three of us get a point?

Yeah. And then he just does not get a point. Is that how we're doing it? OK. Sorry, I didn't mean to rub that in. I just wanted to clarify. No, it's fine. It's just fine.

General health. The older you get, that number just goes up. Just because your metabolism changes, people gain weight as they get older. Well, that's good that we're all within normal range, though. Can we acknowledge that, Charlie, that you are within healthy normal range? Just not as healthy.

That's true. I want to get a general analysis and assessment at the very end, which is recognizing how old we are. Are we healthy or not? Yeah, I would like to know, you know, am I healthy in general at the end of this? But also, like, am I also healthy for my age? Like, because you don't know me.

Am I walking out of here with a prescription for Lipitor? Maybe. Right. Maybe. Am I walking out of here with my chin held high? I would say, like, both of you guys, though, like have parents that don't have a history of, like, you know, heart disease and cancer, right?

That's true. Why? So not only that, but also you exercise regularly and are the most disciplined eaters, I know, except for maybe Bateman. But, like, so if you guys aren't healthy, nobody's healthy. Right? Like, this is my, I don't know.

What was the last time you ate a carbohydrate? Ew, almost every meal. I ate a sandwich. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like over here. I've never seen it. I've never seen it. I've never seen it. I drink four shots of whiskey every day.

My liver and kidneys are going to be terrible. Come back, do you think so? No, you might be all right. OK. All right, let's keep going. The next set of metrics that they've looked at were your blood sugars. So diabetes is what this relates to.

So they did a blood glucose levels. And then they did a hemoglobin A1C. And I'll explain that in a second. But your glucose numbers, those random glucose numbers, Glenn, you went again. Charlie, you were a close second. Oh, babe. Hey, buddy.

But I don't think we're giving points for a second. We're not. But at this point, I'm psyched to come in second. To not last. He doesn't need the point. Yours was 65. 100, 130 is like a normal range. 65, 82, 78, 99.

Oh, 99. Can I ask you, is that? So I usually intermittent fast almost every day. I'm pretty much every day. And it's my understanding that that can help. Intermittent fasting is great. Yeah. I mean, it's been around 200 years.

It's really smart. The hemoglobin A1C is the metric that we now use to understand if we're pre-diabetic. That's really what we want to know with these numbers. Or if we're diabetic to see how bad our diabetes is and whether we need to be more aggressive with our treatment. And that number's a three month average of your blood sugar. So it's not fasting.

It's not two hours later. When I started practice, it was a six hour glucose tolerance test. Imagine trying to stick somebody every hour six times. So the A1C hemoglobin is they take a hemoglobin molecule. That's the red blood cell, right? That carries the oxygen through the system. Every cell in the body is dependent on glucose

as an energy source. So they take a bunch of hemoglobin cells and they look at them and they average the sugar content in these cells. And that's your A1C hemoglobin. So those numbers are if normal's below 5.7 and here the decimal points matter. And you're a diabetic when you're in the sevens.

You're pre-diabetic in the sixes. This is sort of a broad stroke. In Europe, it's a whole different measuring of these numbers. I mean, between 5.7 and 6, like, ooh. Yeah, no, it's a you start paying attention when people are in their sixes. And is it bad if you're too low?

No, it's good. OK, so too low is not a bad thing. It's good. You all did really well with your A1C. So Charlie, I'm still looking for a win here. Don't get you. You were 4.8, only beaten by once again Glenn, who was 4.4. Closely behind, Megan was 5.0.

And Rob, very acceptable 5.1. So these are great numbers. Nice. And at this stage in your life, if you were really going to be pre-diabetic, these numbers would be a little higher. So you're probably, I would bet that there's not a lot of diabetes in your family.

I don't think there's any in mind. I don't know anybody. I mean, there could be on. I don't think there's any health issues in your family based on where we are now. You're the. Unfortunately, there's not a mental health chart there. Oh, dude.

Totally. You know, you're absolutely right. Well, that's the next one. The current score is Rob with 2. Charlie has 1. Glenn has 6. And Meg has 4. So the next study is where the kidney functions.

And we measure a protein that gets processed through the kidney. And if the kidney is working normally, that protein is eliminated. And if it's not eliminated in these little filters in the kidney that are responsible for getting rid of the toxins are damaged or not working, then it backs up in the blood. That creatinine backs up in the blood.

And that number goes higher. So you want a low creatinine. It shows you that your kidneys are working. And you guys all did great. But who did the best? Normal is about up to 1.2. And Meg, you have the win here. You had a 0.76.

I'm just very close second at 0.98. Top man's score. Yes. You're done right now. Top man's score. Yeah, you have to eliminate you in the competition. I probably shot off a woman's T, right? So it doesn't really count.

It doesn't. It's a white count. We're talking about a man's kidney here. All right, I'll give you a man's point for that as well. One man's point, please. One man's point, please. You guys were close. Rob, you were 1.26.

And Glenn, you were 1.25. These are all great numbers. I'll take that. I'm going to drink to that. I'm going to drink to that. So these filters are also measured in something called the GFR. And when you see your lab stuff, that's the filtration rate.

Of these little filters. And so in that regard, the higher the number, the better. We start to worry when those numbers are below 40. You guys, again, did very well. The highest male number goes to Charlie at a 96. That's a good kid. You two tied at 72. And the female winner is 103.

That's the overall winner. That's the overall winner again. We can open up breaking this up a little later. Give her the win. I'll get a woman's point for that. So if you guys need a kidney, that's where you're going. She's the one. OK.

You got two, right? You got two still? I do, I do. I think, yeah. Hold on, yeah. A set of liver tests were done. And so this one, I'm going to guess the winner is Glenn. I don't know.

It could be you. We've all done. You've done the long-term damage. I'm going to come in last. I could tell you that. Charlie came in last. OK. All right.

Long-term damage. You all did fine. You did good. The first number they, first one they looked at was Billy Rubin. It's just one of these things that we have in the kidney. You're all in the normal range. The lower the Billy Rubin, the better. Glenn, you were points.

Oh, wait a minute. Rob, you were 0.5. You were 0.6. Oh, yo, Billy Rubin. Wow. Is there a friend of yours? Oh, Billy Rubin. I say, I say we make another liquor, like Scotch,

and call it Billy Rubin. Yeah, that's a good name. This was a photo finish on this one for you. Oh, man. When you see people turn yellow, it's because their Billy Rubin is up. And that usually starts happening when they're in the range of four.

I had jaundice when I was young. Where am I at with my Billy Roots? You're 1-1. That's fine. Another photo finish for a second. You were 1. I know, I saw that. I watched that.

So Rob gets the point. I'll take a bite of why that is astounding. That is astounding. There's a globulin, which is just a different protein that's measured. You guys were all in the normal range. Who was the best? Who was the best?

Who's the best goblins? Who's got the best goblins? 2.1 for you guys. Or 2.5 over here. It's high good for Charlie. 2.6 over here. Well, you want low goblins or? You don't want high globulins.

So then by? We'll share a point. Yeah, share a point on that one. Yeah, one point each. I can't get on this. Then there's a series. I'm a codder. I'm a codder.

Glenn, you take issue with having to download a million apps. Now I'm the same way, but with getting a million notifications. Now, you know you can turn those things off, right? Oh, I do. I silence everything, except. Oh, that's the Shopify notification of a new sale, isn't it? That's exactly right. Shopify makes it simple to sell to anyone from anywhere whether your thing is selling

vintage t-shirts or recipes for ghee. And I love the dopamine rush of hearing I found another paying customer. Another customer for what? What are you selling? Well, don't worry about that. Don't worry about that, Charlie. Are you selling ghee recipes? You know, because why would you say that if you weren't?

You know, because it was oddly specific. It's probably at least ghee adjacent. It's absolutely in the ghee vicinity, right? That's what I'm picking up. Oh, there's another sale, man. It's that guys has never been easier to sell and grow my dream business, which you don't know what it is because I haven't really talked that much about it than it is with Shopify and their 24 seven support and libraries of free educational content.

Help me feel in command of my ghee empire. There it is. Yeah. So whether you want to sell ghee recipes and share it with your friends or you want to be super weird and secretive about it, either way, sign up for a free trial at shopify.com slash sunny all lowercase, go to shopify.com slash sunny and start selling online today shopify.com slash sunny, get that key, get that key for all you listeners and creeps. Guess what season is upon us.

That's right. Spooky season. And with spooky season comes the latest scary, soft Halloween collection for meat undies. That fabric is so soft and so live that actually does kind of scare the shit out of me sometimes because I feel like I put on no underwear at all. Well, if you want to live out Glen's nightmare and discover just how comfy these meat undies are yourself, you can get 20% off and free shipping on your first purchase for listening to this podcast.

Yeah. No feeling monster mashed up down there with this stuff, you know what I mean? You know what I'm talking about? You're not so mashed up on your monster. And if you're a lazy creep who waits until the last minute to get in the spirit and needs an 11th hour costume, me undies has your back bone with their spooky skeleton lounge wear set, lazy bones. The scary soft hype is real everyone.

If you're not impressed with me undies, your first pair is on us and that is a promise to get 20% off your first order and free standard shipping on us orders. Go to meatundies.com slash sunny. Go creep it out. Iron. So the body needs iron to make red blood cells. And so there's two measures of iron. The first one is the actual iron content, a tie for second place 177 Robin Charlie beat

out by 82 and you didn't have one different for women though, isn't it? There's usually lower because of menstruation, correct? Absolutely. So it's actually a little unfair even though she didn't talk about all these years we've been making fun of him and he knows, you know, your iron, you know, you that's that's exactly what every time Dr. Kitter says something cleans the nodding, like, you know, we kind of can't tell if you're making fun of me or not. You're running away with them with the man with the male title.

That one I believe we're giving so iron and we're giving a point to Rob and Charlie then today. No, no, no, no, no. Glenn. We're in the last place to be clear. All right. We're tied for last. To be clear.

Glenn gets the iron point. The iron point. That's good. That's good. Yeah. But here is where Charlie wins. This is the PSA, it's the prostate antigen. So as we get older, our PSA goes up, goes up in cancer, goes up and it goes up as we age

because the prostate gland gets bigger. It's just an enzyme that the gland makes. But if there's activity in the gland, if you are hypersexual or you change your sexual pattern, you're very sexual and then you stop and then you start again, those transitions can raise the PSA. So this again is in context. You have to look at how this works. So anybody have a family history of prostate cancer?

No. Yes, but like very late in life. Okay. So that's not, we don't, we're not even sure that's a cancer. At that point, we don't even treat those. But the winner is, I'm so happy to say this, Charlie, at 0.25. And Rob, you were 1.86, Glenn, you were 0.37. So those are good numbers.

Those are all really good numbers. It's all good. But the best butt number. He's got the best butt. It was mine. That's right. That's good, man. Thank you, man.

Thank you. It's hard to believe. How are you releasing all the pressure in there? Yeah. Are you manipulating it in some way? Yes. Sexual consistency. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. See, I'm all over the place. Maybe that's what happens. We're on, we're off. Well, that is, none of you had a bad number. So those are good numbers. And vitamin B9, which is called folate, again, it's another B vitamin.

The B vitamins are important. As we get older, the B vitamins get absorbed in one very specific part of the small intestine. As we get older, that absorption site and the small intestine, and some people can wear out. And so people lose vitamin B as they get older, especially B12. And if you lose B12, you get a lot of neurologic symptoms. So you guys are young, your vitamin B levels are fine. Actually, the B12, here are the numbers on the B12.

Glenn, do you supplement with B vitamin? Yeah, I have to. Well, I have the MTHFR mutation, so I don't methylate well. So I have to take a methylation supplement that includes B vitamins. And otherwise, I don't, like, I can't get it from my food. So you're a little bit above normal, which is fine. I mean, you know, you're 1169 when people get into the 2000 range, and a lot of people do because I think nothing but B vitamins, you got to put the brakes on those people,

but you're fine. And you are all in a good range. And there is no advantage of having more or less. So there's really no winner in this category. But Charlie, you were 392, Rob, 896, and Meg, you were 434. So you're all fine with your, with that. But I heard you say no winner. Yeah, no way.

Does that mean Glenn doesn't get a point for this round then? Yeah, because there's no benefit to having more. Glenn, tell us about this methylation and your off-gassing or whatever. But what are you doing? Just paying a lot more attention to his health. That is for sure. But we've always known that. Yeah.

It's some sort of a genetic situation that I have that I don't fully, totally understand it. You could probably explain it better than I could, but I just don't, you know, I don't know. I'm not even totally sure what methylating is, but I don't methylate certain vitamins. And I know folate is one of them, right? Methanine is something that the body does in its metabolism to break certain things down and there are different forms of this.

You said you had a... I've got two snips. Yeah. Two MTHFR snips. It actually has some, it actually has some relevance in pregnancy. Yeah, right. And not going to happen at this table, but if you... It's not going to happen at that table either.

But that's been made abundantly clear. Yeah, by choice. Well, if it does happen, then you'll be forced to go through it. So the ability to hold on to a pregnancy, if you've got this genetic defect, how did you know to do that? Who checked you? Noted to check for that? Yeah.

I mean, I go see a functional medicine doctor and we do this kind of stuff all the time. Yeah. It's like a hobby to me, I know these guys are giving me shit for it because they say that I'm not... I don't enjoy my life because I pay so much attention to what I eat and stuff, but the truth is it's kind of a hobby for me. I find eating a certain way and just trying to dial in all the numbers and health and stuff. I just find it kind of interesting.

It's an amazing machine that we have. I mean, the way these things work on a cellular level and on... It's crazy to me how all this stuff not only works, but integrates with everything else. So it is fascinating and then how it plays out in people's personalities because you can have the same metrics, but you can have different mental health issues, you can have different activity levels. So... Well, then there's a nature versus nurture aspect of that too, I would imagine where

just the way you're raised or your environment or whatever is going to play along. And now as we're learning your gut biome is just a huge... Your gut biome plays a huge role in all that. Is the role, is the king of that. What's really fascinating, so the microbiome is located between the small intestine and the large intestine. That's where your appendix is. So there's this two-inch little organelle called the cecum.

And the cecum is where all these bacterial colonies live and they're all predetermined again by your genetics, by your epigenetics. But the amounts and the relative values of these bacteria, viruses, fungi, they will dictate your neurotransmitter levels, which is what happens in controlling your behavior. They will influence your immunity. They will influence, they influence pretty much everything that gets run through the system and how the system runs. So when you take an antibiotic, you're going to distort the microbiome a little bit and

that's going to, it may kill the bacteria that's in your system, but it's going to also make the microbiome a little unhappy. So any medicine that you take is going to have some effect there. Have they done any studies on whether picturing a dog pooping will help you poop better? Because we were talking about that the other day. Yeah. What are the scientific studies on? Like if you're constipated and you want to use imagery to sort of coax your doo-doo

out of your butthole, does picturing a dog pooping, does that... I like the word doo-doo. I haven't heard that in a long time. It's good. You should write a book. I'm going to write a book. I think it would affect you in some way. I think it depends on the person and the dog.

Definitely. The dog and the power of the individual's imagination. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So we have only got about 15 minutes left with Dr. Pipper. The world. The world.

Oh, you're busy with your partner. You have a lot to do? Oh, he's got a guy. He's got a guy. He's got a guy. He's got a guy. It's not your time. It's his time.

We'll move out of the doo-doo into the bone marrow. The bone marrow makes a red blood cell, a white blood cell, and a platelet. The red cells carry oxygen, the white cells fight infection, and the platelets are the things that form scabs when you cut yourself. You guys were all fine on all of this. On the white blood cells, if you got a bacterial infection, that number would go up. If you got a viral infection, those numbers go down. Normals between four and 10.

You're 4.1, Charlie. Rob, you were 7.3. Again, these are all normal numbers. Glenn, you were 5.7, and Meg, you were 7.1. The lowest is better. In a setting like this, I would say the lowest is the best. Would you say that could potentially be an indicator that his body is actually fighting less pathogens, negative pathogens, and that's why he's fighting more?

Well, if his numbers are low, he would be... If he was fighting more virus, it would lower it. Oh. But it's still in the normal range. Right. But it could even riddle the virus. The red cell is interesting. The three of you guys were so close.

So a red blood cell carries oxygen in a non-smoking adult. Those numbers are anywhere... They're generally around 15. You can see them up to 18. Smokers tend to be in the higher range. People with big, barrel chests have a higher number. Wow. Do you want to win or lose now?

No idea. Charlie, you were 16.7, Rob, you were 16.4, you were 16.0, and you were 14.0, so the winner is... Oh, so higher is better. Yeah, higher is better, but Charlie, you know, well, Charlie Day, it's coming into his house. You know what it is? My blood cells are really good.

You know what I mean? And that's kind of everything when it comes to health. I mean, if your blood cells are bad, you're like really sick and you're right. Coming up from behind, you've got a good bone marrow because you also won the platelet race. Fuck yeah. Nice, buddy. You got good blood.

Thanks, man. Thanks, man. Thanks, man. Thanks, bro. You're that horse coming around the tunnel. Come on. Come on. See this kid.

It's three points on blood. Yeah, that's... Your blood alone seems a little unfair. And so our current health point score is Rob with four, Charlie with five, Glenn with eight, and Meg with six. The electrolytes, I'll go through your all normal, sodium, potassium, and calcium. And so sodium and potassium for all you guys and gals were normal, 138, 140, 144, 138, those are perfectly normal numbers.

What is the higher number better than the lower? You want to be higher or lower? You were talking about being hydrated, right? So when you're over-hydrated, when too much, that number goes down because it dilutes down. So you actually need to hydrate a little bit more. Take more away from Glenn. You had had a lot of coffee that day. The potassium, again, it's a normal range, 4, 3, 3, 9, 4, 2, 4, 1.

So having a 3.9 potassium is not a bad thing. If it was below 3, 5, there'd be some question and some issue, perhaps. The higher is better? The higher is better until you get into the mid-fives. But that's not where you are. But it doesn't mean it's better. It just means... You have it in me.

Who had the high? Who had the highs up below mid-five? But is it one of those things like that, other thing where it doesn't matter as long as you're within a certain range, or is there an actual advantage? Correct. Again, context. Let's say you were sick and your potassium was low, right? And we have to give you supplements of potassium, and then it comes higher.

Well, you're higher because we gave it to you, not because that's your net. But there have been a couple of these already. And what we've established is that Dr. Kipper has to pick whose potassium you want. Whose potassium do you want? That's the ultimate. So, if I had to pick, I would pick the number... Now, there is an acceptable answer would be any of them, you know what I'm just saying? You don't have to...

And then we'd have to go back and redo the other one. No, I'm just saying... Yeah, I just want to make clear that. My potassium... It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

If I had to pick a best potassium, if I wanted to design my own potassium, it would be like four and a half. You were 4.3. You were closest to that. Okay. So, if I were to award... Well, thanks. I get a banana point for the potassium.

Good job, Charlie. Calcium, last one, and then we'll get to the male stuff. Don't look. Stop looking. You guys are already competitive. You guys are very close on the calcium, and it's not about high or low, but if we went for the higher score, Charlie gets that one. He was 10.1.

Well, whose calcium level do you want? Right? Let's continue to use that. I'll tell you whose calcium level I would want. I would take all any of these. Rob and Glenn were 9.6. Megan was 9.5. You were 10.1.

I'd probably take the 10.1. Charlie might have won. I know, right? He might have come back in the end. The potassium? And the calcium? Boy, my blood ran out of steam. Yeah.

You started strong. I started real strong. But Megan went on a good. Yeah, whole fucking time, really good. Okay, people's here at the Always Sunny podcast. You know, we love doing things with ease, okay? That's why we're glad our friends at Manscaped are joining us for Fresh Ball Fall. That's right.

Fresh Ball Fall is defined as the season of pumpkin spice and making sure your crotch looks nice. It's great for when you want to sip cider and an autumn breeze and trim your balls with ease. Right. Now, are you trimming your balls outdoors and in public in this scenario? It's unclear. Maybe.

You see, Manscaped is here to make sure that your foliage isn't the only thing that's shedding its excess leaves. Even Mother Nature knows it's time to lose that excess clutter. I know when I use my lawnmower 4.0 body hair trimmer from their 10-part platinum package, I feel a lot more in sync with the season, the moon, you name it. Like a creature of the forest, a werewolf, perhaps. Like something out of the Twilight movies. That's right.

Yeah. I'm constantly comparing myself to the Twilight movies. Yeah, you are, actually. Look, basically, I mean, do you have a lot of pubic hair and you need to get rid of it? Use Manscaped. I mean, it's a lot of gobbledygook to try to, you know, just be like, look, this stuff's going to help you trim your pubes. Right.

You're going to get 20% off for free shipping at Manscaped.com when you use the code Sunny. Manscaped. Clear out the leaves. It's your tree trunk's time to shine. In some cases, it's more of a trink than a trunk. So recently we went on tour and we blasted our audience in the face with t-shirts. Yeah, get blasted. We only had two t-shirt cannons and we would have been able to blast way more faces with

way more shirts if we had another cannon operator. Ooh, now that sounds like a job for Zip Recruiter. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day, man. Ah, high ring. It can be so tiring. No. Well, okay.

I mean, I was just kidding with this thing. We don't have to sing a whole. I've been desiring. More efficient. More efficiency. Is that where you're going with that rhyme? Yeah, yeah, sort of. Okay, okay.

We're going for it here. All right. I heard and feeble, trying to find the right people. Was that good? It sounds like you're saying people. I heard people. Yeah. When you go to ziprecruiter.com slash sunny.

Try them for free right now at ziprecruiter.com slash sunny. Megan, you win the testosterone contest. Ooh. You're something. I couldn't get that on your labs, by the way. Yeah, they wouldn't do it. The question refused to test my testosterone, unless ordered by a doctor. Really?

But we, you ain't a man. I know. They wouldn't do it. They wouldn't take the order. But women make testosterone, and we make estrogen. And testosterone ultimately gets converted to estrogen. So having said that, the numbers are good. And now, obviously, this is going to be the highest is the winner.

And that would go to Rob, the most manly at the table. Most masculine. So age matter in testosterone. Age does matter, right, because I'm a little younger. Age matters when you, that's a really great question. And to your point, when you are in your early fifties and beyond, those numbers start to come down. And it's nature's way of telling us not to procreate.

And so, yes, I mean, people do run out of steam as they get older. So what were those numbers? So what were those numbers? So let's hear these numbers. Rob, you were 1131, Charlie, 744, Glenn, you were 26, you were 793. Well, what was yours? What was I at, 744? 744, 1131.

This should count for so many more. Well, hang on a second. I remember a year ago or so, I came in just for a general physical in your office and you had said, hey, your testosterone is looking kind of low. But if you feel energy, you still have a sex drive, let's not do anything about it. Has it gone up? Because I've done nothing to get it up. So to speak.

I just keep going up. I can't respond to that statement. So testosterone relates only really to libido. When you give people testosterone that are low in testosterone, they will say they feel stronger, they feel better, they're mentally more clear. There's never been any study that's proven that. And maybe there is truth to that. Not everything has to be a study or a database, but one of the reasons that you're careful

with supplementing testosterone is that if you have a brewing cancer in your prostate that's just starting to develop and you take testosterone, you're pouring water on a flower. It's just going to nurture it. So we're very cautious in prescribing testosterone. So unless someone was really complaining that they had no sex drive and that's when you supplement. But then you have to watch their PSA really carefully. And if they had a family history of prostate cancer, you wouldn't supplement.

Well, it's just another point on the thing. Yeah. But it just kind of makes me the most masculine. Well, I'll tell you, we'll see how manly you take. Makes you the most horny. I definitely get the last. You guys ready to hear the final scores? Yeah.

Okay. I got to pee real bad. So in last place is Rob with five points. Wow. Hard to believe. Could you repeat back the last one? The testosterone was 1,131. By the way.

It had thousands of testosterone. You got a lot of them. At this table, that's someone to count. It's completely useless. It's a good metric. It's completely useless. It's a good metric. I am in next place, tied with the amount of asterisks at the end of the day.

At six points, then tied for first, currently, are Charlie and Glenn tied at eight. I think the tiebreaker should be your blood pressure right now. Let's do it. Wait a second. I absolutely win. We're having put zero effort into any of this. That's true. That should be a winner right there.

Because that's just like you live in my life and I try to move shit out. I had five beers yesterday. Before we really start to jump on each other, the big picture is that everyone's numbers are good. You're all healthy. You're pretty healthy. You're all very healthy. For Vanny's sake, I like to get that BMI down a little bit, but I'm happy that you guys

are all healthy. Yeah. Yeah. Same. I mean, I got spooked when I got a call from the blood company about the cholesterol. I was like, well, I'm done, but you're saying it's good. I'm saying it's good. Okay, great.

But the blood pressure is high on all of us. That's... No, that's not what he was. That machine was out of whack. We're going to see how... Do you want your pressure taken? Yes, please. Let's do it.

Let's get the actual blood pressure taken. What do you mean? Right now, he's going to test your blood pressure properly. And then let's do all the tests. Let's come up with a bunch of different tests and do those too. This is fun. I ran four miles today. Did you?

There's another metric. You know what I mean? Yeah. Damn. You don't have the stress of the competition rotting on this, that's what I have to deal with. You know what I mean? Yeah, right.

It's kind of nuts. Lower stakes for me. Yeah. He's trying to make it a less stake. But it's not. I don't need to prove anything. I know. I'm not with 1,100 testosterone.

Kohl's found. Glenn's falling asleep. He's getting those blood pressure. He's trying to get in his place. But I applaud you, Glenn, for taking good care of yourself. I mean, it's... Very few people do that. You're the kind of guy I don't see in my office because you're healthy.

Right, right, right, right. That was healthy as Charlie, though. No. Low pulse rate, 67. Blood pressures are very much the same. You were 123 over 78. You were 122, I think. Yeah.

You were 122. Okay. That's pretty good. That's way better than last time. Let's do Glenn now. This is the one that matters. If you can be 123 over 78 or a pulse of 67, this is exciting. It's not that exciting.

Let's not worry about it. Let's just keep it down. Glenn's at his own. Let's keep that pressure down. He's very exciting. He's falling asleep. He's relaxed. Very relaxed.

He's standing out of the pot. It's a nice, even stroke. He's headed towards the hole. And... 130. He's down. He's down. He's down.

He's down. He's on the second hole. 130, 83 over 83, 74, pulse. I'm sorry, that's not going to be enough to beat Charlie. Charlie is your 122 health... I am so relieved. I thought I was going to die. This was a normal blood pressure.

Yes, this is a normal blood pressure, but it's not the best blood pressure. I believe I had the best blood pressure, but it's not about me. It's about our champion, and the healthiest man at the podcast, Mr. Charlie Day. This is why you're my doctor. Yeah, well, put an asterisk on with the whole thing.

For sure. I'll tell you what, I'm hugely relieved because we did the blood. I just, I haven't been working. How does much, I was like, I'll let it slide. And then, you know, I get the call from the people, nearly the cholesterol is high. I'm like, I knew it, it's happening. Buddy, I put you at number one.

I said it was going to be a tie between you and Megan, and I was wrong, just plans. That's all you, bud. That's all Tom and Mary Day. Yeah. Well, I want to thank you so much for joining us. Yes, yes. Thank you, Pepper. Thank you.

We have to get you out so you can go help other people with non-podcast-based competitions. Thank you. Thank you, that was a pleasure. A round of applause for them. A round of applause. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Thank you, sir. Thank you. Awesome. And I love that you have like an old school doctor bat from like the 1860s. Is that a prop? It's awesome. It's awesome.

It's awesome. And I love that you have like an old school doctor bat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From like the 1860s. Is that a prop? Is that a prop? Yeah, that's a prop.