The Amelia Project - Elephants can wait.

Episode Date: July 18, 2026

It's more exciting than a mortuary freezer full of elephants... Join our audio fiction takeover of Theatreship! Three days of shows, talks and screenings on the Thames! Tickets for all events here Livestream tickets also available, or become a patron for livestream access to all three shows! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You know I can't be on morgue duty that, Wee, Calvina. I've had it blocked off in the diary for months. Remember what that HR person said about me time? No, no, no, they could be elephant carcasses for all I care. They are? Just one? Still, how are we going to stuff an elephant into a mortuary freezer? You know what? I don't care. Figure it out.

I can't do the 5th and 6th of August, and that's that. Yes, of course, 2006. What did you think? The 5th and 6th of August 200 BC? Oh, actually, the 5th of August 200 BC is when I faked Pharaoh Neferamon's death, and the sixth is when we brought him back as the god of drunkenness. What? Oh, uh, nothing.

Yes, it's important. No, it can't wait. It's the very first screening of a new project for it. featuring Alan Bergen? Alan Bergen? You know? The actor? Oh, well, I wouldn't say fan, exactly.

I mean, he's no Humphrey Bogart. But I follow his career closely, okay? Oh, I don't think it's your cup of tea, Alvina. It's called Delivery After Dark, and it's a folk horror story. Oh, you know how much I love folk horror. I mean, I did almost end up burnt to a crisp inside a wicker man once. Anyway, it's really not a popcorn movie.

In fact, I'm not sure if it's a movie at all. It says screening. But then it also says it's an audio project by people who normally make podcasts. Yes, fiction podcasts. Apparently, they make a very successful one called... Wait! What the Whoops? Alvina, you won't believe this! They make a fiction podcast called...

Wait for it? The Amelia Project. I mean, what are the odds? Oh, oh, and get this. Before the screenings of Delivery After Dark, they're performing the Amelia Project live. Oh, we have to see this. Maybe you should come after all.

Oh, we'll make a night of it, okay? Yes, first the live show, then delivery after dark. And between the two, we can hang out on deck and have drinky booze. Yes, on deck. Oh, didn't I mention? Oh yes, it's all on board a boat. Yes! Used to be a cargo barge, apparently, but now it's a theatre.

And cinema. And bar. Looks like these podcast people have taken over the ship for the whole first week of August. Do you think they've boarded and captured it? Like podcast pirates! Oh, I miss my seafaring days. Ah, me hearties. Anyway, let's have a night out on the Thames

and see this Amelia project. ThingyMajig, and Delivery After Dark. Oh, we'll make it a team thing. Amelia and Kozlovsky can join too. Yes, I know they're in Bierrits. But it says you can also watch it via live stream, and apparently that means from anywhere in the world. Even if you're on the Basque coast rigging a yacht with explosives.

So it's a date? Theatre ship in London? For drinks? Followed by the Amelia Project Live, followed by drinks, followed by delivery after dark, followed by drinks. Yes? You're especially excited about the drinks. Good, so am I.

Oh, I wonder if they have Vuv-Clico. I'll get us tickets right away on the googly. There it is. Oh, damn, we need to be quick. It says it's selling fast. Oh, good Lord, how do you do this? What is that now that's popped up on the screen? Oh, good Lord, I can't...

Yes, would you mind doing it? Oh, thank you. have to go to ameliapodcast.com and click on live events. Yes, two in-person tickets for us and two online tickets for Amelia and Kozlovsky. Oh, or it says you can become a patron, whatever that is, and get automatic access to all the live streams as well as replays of past shows. Huh, patron. Oh, like patron of the arts. Well, that sounds incredible. Incredibly fancy. But it's only $5.

How does that work? Hmm. You know, it might be worth it. But please be quick, Alvina. It will sell out soon. The elephant? Oh, I couldn't give a tusk. It'll have to freeze itself.

See you on the boat, Alvina. So he's... He's not dead. It could have been on this months ago. Stop this. Please, Maya, no more. I think we've just begun. Enjoy.

Stay back, Evan. I'm not Evan Wexler, remember. Just what are you? Unkillable. You aren't real. I'm real enough for you. And now I'm real, no, no, no, no. I don't fuck to do.

The 100-handed, lost souls. Available now wherever you get your podcast. or at 100 Handed. That's 100handed.com. Welcome to the strata. There's two of them following me. I know that for sure. And over the package and we'll let you go.

You'll let me go. Oh, that's cute. The first bullet hits me in the chest, sends me staggering back a step. All right, you assholes. Yeah, run. That's it. And spread the word.

Don't mess with rust. Ever. Anyone who tries is going to... Forget it. The strata. In a dystopian city, an aging courier is forced to go into business with an underworld ganglord in order to pay for the treatment that keeps him alive. Check out the strata any way you listen to podcasts.