The Amelia Project - Episode 1 - Zale Indigo Ravenheart

Episode Date: December 8, 2017

"How quickly can this be done? I don’t have much time. I leave planet Earth tonight." Season 1, Episode 1. The Amelia Project is a secret agency that helps its clients by faking their deaths and setting them up with a brand new identity! In this episode cult leader Zale Indigo Ravenheart visits the agency with a curious story… Can The Amelia Project help him?  With Alan Burgon, Dave Moskin and Julia Morizawa. Written by Philip Thorne. Directed by Philip Thorne and Oystein Brager. Music and sound design by Fredrik Baden. Produced by Imploding Fictions. For full credits see our website. ameliapodcast.com Website: https://ameliapodcast.com  Transcripts: https://ameliapodcast.com/transcripts Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ameliapodcast Donations: https://ameliapodcast.com/support Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-amelia-project?ref_id=6148 Twitter: https://twitter.com/amelia_podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ameliapodcast/ Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ameliapodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Congratulations. You've reached the Amelia Project. This phone call isn't happening. If you're not serious about this, hang up. Now. If you continue, there's no way back. Good choice. A new life awaits. You'll hear back from us within the hour. If you don't hear back, please consider the whole thing a hoax.

Leave your message after the beep. How quickly can this be done? I don't have much time. I leave planet Earth tonight. I'm being launched to Antathon in ten hours. I can't get out of it. My followers won't let me. I need help. I need you to intervene. My name is Zale Indigo Ravenheart, founder and archpriest of the Apostles of Antathon. Get back to me. Please, quick. Help. Terima kasih telah menonton! The Amelia Project by Philip Thorne and Oystein Braga with music and sound design by Frederik Baden Episode 1 Zale Indigo Ravenheart Interesting.

Hello? Come in. Could you draw the curtains? It's just... Certainly. Nobody, nobody is allowed to know I'm here. Those two Italian guys in the lobby, are they trustworthy? Joey and Salvatore? They don't look trustworthy. Those boys are hard as biscotti.

But don't worry, they're working for you. We're all working for you. Amelia is at your service. What I want is probably impossible. Without faith, nothing is possible. Without faith, nothing is possible. With it, nothing is impossible. Faith? Relax. Make yourself comfortable. Grab a chair.

What? Relax. Grab a chair. There is no chair. Of course there is. No, there isn't. Aha. You have no faith. Now, faith's got nothing to do with it. I'm telling you there is a chair.

You're choosing not to believe me. Look, this has nothing to do with what I believe in or not, okay? I can see with my own eyes. Or rather, I can't. I can't see. You see? That's the point. I can't see the chair because it's not there.

The chair. It doesn't see the chair because it's not there. The chair. It doesn't exist. Fact. Pity. It's a very comfy chair. Prove it to me. What? Well, prove there's a chair. Go on. Go on. Sit down in it.

You can't. You have no evidence. Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. You're really strange. You know of evidence is not evidence of absence. You're really strange. You know that. What was your name again? Zale Indigo Ravenheart.

Call it even. I looked you up on the Google before you came in. Zale Indigo Ravenheart. Hmm. This was the first hit. What am I looking at? It's the countdown. Days, hours, minutes, seconds.

A countdown to your death. To my departure from Earth. Eight hours, twenty minutes, thirty-five seconds. Yeah. Does that give us enough time? Well, that rather depends on the complexity of the task and the funds you have at your disposal. How do you intend to... leave planet Earth? In a... cannon. You're kidding.

I wish I was laughing. And this was your idea? It's the only way to get to Antithon. Antithon? It's a long story, and we don't have time. There's always time for a story. At Amelia, we collect stories. Ah, if these walls could talk. But they can't, can they?

I'm sorry, did you just ask me if our walls can talk? I mean, this isn't being recorded or anything, is it? No. I'm interested in how someone decides he wants to be fired into space from a cannon, goes out of his way to publicize the exact time and date, attracts huge attention, then realizes eight hours, 20 minutes, and 35 seconds beforehand that maybe it's not such a

bright idea after all. Can I guess? You've lost your faith. Whatever this antithon is, you no longer believe in it. Yeah, it's not that simple. Okay, what is antithon? You may find it hard to believe. I expect nothing less.

It requires a leap of imagination. You're sure you won't take a seat? There is no... What is that? I believe that is a chair. Where did it come from? Do you believe this is a chair? I...

Sit down and tell me about Antithon. Would you mind turning that down? It's stressing me. Sit down. Tell me about Antithon. For every aspect of life, there's an opposite, right? Fire and water, light and dark. Life and death.

A thing can only exist by having an opposite. Something to compare it to. I mean, how would we know what good is if there was no evil? I agree with that. Everything exists in pairs. Earth is no exception. Earth has an opposite. And that's Antithon. Yes! Earth and Antithon are on opposite sides of the sun. They circle the sun at 180 degrees from one another.

Like twins! That's right. That's right. Their identical distance from the sun means Earth and Antithon have the same exact conditions. Same atmospheric pressure, temperature, gravity... And presumably life. Precisely. Wow, I think this calls for a cup of cocoa. Salvatore, two cocos please. Each one of us has a counterpart on Antithon.

Oh. What proof do you have for the existence of Antathon? Everything has an opposite. The universe needs balance. Antathon revealed itself to me in a vision. Ah. So you haven't actually seen it. Well, how could I? The sun blocks it from view.

It's perfectly hidden, even from the most powerful telescopes. So, it's a matter of faith. Ah, Salvatore, grazie mille. Ah. Ah. Oh, my. Mmm, good, isn't it? I have it specially shipped from Les Deux Magots.

Because the Skip app saves you so much time by delivering stuff like your favorite cool treats, groceries, and bevies, you get to spend the summer doing what you really want. Like successfully cutting your jeans into jorts. Yes! Shipping the kids off to summer camp, or winning the annual Schellenberg family water balloon fight. Suck it, Aunt Susan. Yep, definitely the best summer ever. Squeeze more summer out of summer with Skip. Did somebody say Skip?

Your mom hates it when you leave six half full glasses on your nightstand. It's a good thing mom lives on the other side of the country. And it's an even better thing that you can get six IKEA 365 plus glasses for just $9.99. So go ahead. You can afford to hoard because IKEA is priced for student life. Shop everything you need for back to school at IKEA today. Chalky, chalky,y, chocky. Okay. Let's say, for the sake of argument, that Antithon exists. After all, without evidence of its absence, who am I to disprove it?

Let's say it really is a second Earth. Why are you and your followers so hell-bent on getting there? Why? Yes! Haven't we established it would be exactly like Earth? It would just be more of the same. But Antathon is our counter-planet. Not just geographically. Everything there is inverse. Every decision you make on Earth is played out twice.

On Earth and on Antithon. Your counterpart always does the exact opposite. So going to Antithon means you can turn your life around. Go down the roads you chose to ignore. Wouldn't you like to know what would have happened if you'd made different choices? If you'd studied art instead of physics. Gone to Africa instead of America. If you'd taken up that job offer in Paris,

if you'd just kissed that girl. That's what tonight is all about. When I founded the Apostles of Antathon two years ago, I started the online timer to give myself a deadline. It was always my intention to be the first person to get to Antathon. To meet your counterpart. To switch the first person to get to Antathon. To meet your counterpart? To switch places with him. Or her?

What? Look, it's a nice story, and you tell it passionately. I can see how you've attracted such a following. But tell me, did you actually ever believe this stuff yourself, or was it just a way to get famous and make money? I still believe in it. No, you don't. I do. I don't believe you. That's your choice.

You're messing with me. The reason you're here is you don't want to get into that canon, right? You want us to fake your death. Can it be done? Do we have enough time? Well, frankly, you've put yourself in a very difficult position. You have eight hours, fourteen minutes, and six seconds left. Shit. Shit. Shit. We might be able to help.

There's nothing we like more at Amelia than a challenge. But given how little time you've got, and the danger you've put yourself into, haven't you considered, you know, just legging it? Where would I go? They'd find me. Your followers? My apostles. They've poured their heart and soul into this.

And their money? Yeah, that too. What do you think they'd do? Well, I'm supposed to lead the way. Sure, it can be done. If I chicken out, they'll think it was a scam. They'll feel'm supposed to lead the way. A show can be done. If I chicken out, they'll think it was a scam. They'll feel betrayed. They'll want revenge.

I have no choice. I have to get in that cannon. But I don't want to be shot to Antathon. Because it doesn't exist. Because my life would be a nightmare there. When I founded the Apostles of Antathon, my life was a mess. Two divorces, and a strange son trying to wean myself off a cocaine addiction. I'd hit rock bottom. That's when Antathon revealed itself to me. All those things I could have done differently.

I envied my counterpart on Antathonon so much it drove me crazy. Then I realized I was the chosen one. Antithon had chosen to reveal itself to me. My destiny was to be the pioneer who leads the way there. So you founded Apostles of Antithon and set the timer? Yes and it was a hit. I, I couldn't keep up with all the emails. Had to hire a secretary. Who wrote to you? Well, at first it was, you know, people like me. Victims of bad decisions that had led to dead ends.

Then the media got interested. They thought I was batshit crazy. But I was good for ratings. My name started trending on Twitter. Courtney Love wore an Antithon t-shirt to the Emmys. Shit crazy. But I was good for ratings. My name started trending on Twitter. Courtney Love wore an Antithon t-shirt to the Emmys. Lady Gaga mentioned me in a song. Marilyn Manson became a follower.

They wanted to do a documentary on me, but production could have only started next month after I'd already been launched to Antithon. Well, that's a bummer. I did a lot of interviews, though. How did it feel to get so much attention? Like I was living someone else's life. Taxis, talk shows, restaurants, hotels, gym membership, a new flat. You've been living the high life. Which is the problem.

Life in the fast lane, not all it's cracked up to be, huh? Oh, no, no. No, it's fantastic. My life is wonderful. Which means I no longer want to switch with my counterpart. His life must be hell. Please, help me. I can't go to Antidote.

Hmm. Time to put metaphysics behind us, I think. The only thing that'll get you out of that cannon alive is physics. Whatever it takes. Have you brought the tech specs for the cannon? Mm-hmm. Excellent. What length is the barrel? Um, 24 feet. Your weight? 126 pounds. Height?

5 feet 8.11 inches. Location for the launch? Edgeworth Common. I'll have to check that on a map. inches. Location for the launch? Edgeworth Common. I'll have to check that on a map. Everything alright? Computers. Pesky

things. Still getting used to... Got it! Edgeworth Common. Black Bull Pub. Cricket Ground. Whale Reservoir. Blackburn Woods. Hmm... Eight hours, ten minutes, and one second. That means the launch takes place at... 11.30 p.m. We're going to have to control your flight and limit the distance you'll be launched.

We'll use gunpowder to make a flash and a bang, but only a small amount and not in the chamber. In place of gunpowder, we'll use a tank of compressed air. Once it's burst, it'll provide the propulsion. I suggest we let Salvatore operate the cannon. He's experienced with firearms and nobody will dare get near him. Uh-huh. 126 pounds, 5 foot 8.11 inches. That means...

The square of your velocity exiting the barrel is equal to the square of your velocity at the base of the barrel, plus twice the distance you travel along the barrel multiplied by your acceleration. With a final estimated velocity of 66 miles per hour and an initial velocity of 0 meters per second, and taking into account the length of the barrel, which is 7.32 meters, your acceleration comes to 59.6 meters per second squared. If we raise the barrel 39 degrees, you'll reach an altitude of 23 meters and cover a distance of 59.05 meters. That will get you safely over Blackburn Woods and allow you to land in Weyo Reservoir. You're a good swimmer? Good would be stretching it.

Okay, but you can swim. Mm-hmm. Joey will be out there in a ding would be stretching it. Okay, but you can swim. Joey will be out there in a dinghy, but it might take a while to find you. We can't pinpoint your landing to the spot. We'll provide you with a whistle. That should make it easier. And my followers will believe I'm gone? By the time their eyes have adjusted from the flash, you'll be far from sight.

It's the middle of the night, remember? It'll be pitch black. Oh, that reminds me. We'd better give Joey a good searchlight. Now, have you given some thought to your reincarnation? What? Your new life. How and where would you like to come back? I don't know. Once our surgeons are done with you, you'll barely be recognizable.

Even so, you don't want to risk being found out. So I suggest you go somewhere want to risk being found out. So I suggest you go somewhere far away. That sounds good. You want to go somewhere you can continue living it up. Otherwise, what's the point, right? Right. Macedonia.

Macedonia? Very cheap. Your savings would take you a long way there. You'll be able to live comfortably for a few months until you've found your feet and can set up something new. Where is Macedonia? There's just one problem. What's that? Amelia is not a charity. Our services come at a cost. Of course. Amelia is expensive. We're the best in the business. Okay. So after you've paid us, you'll be too broke even for Macedonia. That would mean starting from scratch, a life of poverty, and that's exactly what you want to escape from. So that would be kind of ironic, wouldn't it? Yeah.

So, you're in a bit of a bind. Yes. Luckily, I have a solution. Yes? Has it struck you that there's a certain overlap between Amelia and Antithon? People are attracted to Antithon because of the idea of starting afresh. At Amelia, that's what we offer. We help people who've reached a dead end to transition from this life to another.

I suppose... You said you have some high-profile followers, musicians and celebrities. That's true. You'd be surprised... I want the names of everyone who's contacted you. I want access to their emails. I want all the information you've got on your fans and followers. At Amelia, we're always looking to get our number into the hands of interesting and influential people. Give me your network, and your disappearance is on the house. Well, I guess I...

Hang on a minute. What? How do I know you'll do what you say? You might just blow me to pieces, and who would know? Hmm... Okay, prove that you won't do that. I can't. So how can't do that. I can't. So how can I be sure?

You can't. You need faith. Faith. Eight hours, five minutes, and eight seconds. You know, you can torture yourself with doubt. Or you can start looking forward to your new life in Macedonia. Do you like champagne? Sorry?

I hear the champagne in the Balkans is intolerable. Better have a glass now before you leave. What do you say? I could do with a drink. Excellent. Salvatore, bring us a bottle of our finest Veuve Clicquot, please. You're making the right choice. Trust me. Ah, lovely! Salvatore, would you mind opening it? You know what happened last time. Sail Indigo Ravenheart. Congratulations. A new life awaits.

The Amelia Project is produced by Imploding Fictions. In association with Open House Theater. The next show is Alan Gervin as the interviewer. Dave Mossby as... Welcome. Could you draw the curtains? It's just... Certainly. Nobody's allowed to know I'm here. I don't have much time. What I want is probably impossible.

Without faith, nothing is possible. With it, nothing is impossible. Faith? Relax. Make yourself comfortable. Grab a chair. The Amelia Project was produced neither by Imploding Fictions nor Open House Theatre Vienna. It didn't feature Alan Bergen as the interviewer, nor did it feature Dave Moskin as Zale. You didn't hear Julia Morizawa on the answerphone.

It was neither written nor edited by Philip Thorne and wasn't directed by Philip Thorne or Einstein Braga. Music and sound design, not by Frederik Baden. No graphic design by Anders Pedersen. And Julia C. Thorne did not help with production coordination. This episode wasn't recorded at Torngeber Studios, and Gabriel Geber had nothing to do with it.