The Amelia Project - Episode 26 - T.I.P.

Episode Date: September 27, 2020

“It's time to implement the third option. ” Episode 26, Season 3. With: Julia Morizawa, Julia Thorne, Michael Govier, Torgny G. Aanderaa, Benjamin Noble, Ravdeep Singh Bajwa, Gianluca Iumiento and Alan Burgon. Written by Philip Thorne. Directed by Julia Morizawa with additional directing by Benjamin Noble. Sound design and music by Fredrik Baden. Co-producer: Julia Morizawa. For full credits see our website. The Amelia Project is an audio fiction series. We recommend starting at the beginning. Congratulations. You’ve reached the content warning. The Amelia Project is about death, mishaps, mayhem and misfortune. And cocoa. If you’re not comfortable with this, stop listening. Now. The Amelia Project is part of the Fable & Folly Network. Find and support our sponsors at: fableandfolly.com/partners Check out this episode’s sponsors! Dipsea: To sign up and get your 30 day free trial go to: DipseaStories.com/amelia Function of Beauty: To take your four part hair profile quiz and save 20% on your first order go to: FunctionOfBeauty.com/amelia Website: ameliapodcast.com Transcripts: ameliapodcast.com/transcripts Twitter: @amelia_podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ameliapodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With Uber Reserve, you can book your Uber ride in advance. 90 days in advance. Perfect for all you forward thinkers and planning gurus. Reserve your Uber ride up to 90 days in advance. Uber Reserve. See Uber app for details. When it comes to smart water alkaline 9.5 plus pH with antioxidant, there's nothing to overthink. So, while you may be performing mental gymnastics

over whether the post-work gym crowd is worth it, if you'll be able to find a spot for your yoga mat, or if that spin instructor will make you late for dinner again, don't overthink how you hydrate. Life's full of choices. Smart Water Alkaline is a simple... Welcome back to The Amelia Project. We left off last week with the interviewer being escorted out of the office. And today, the story continues. This episode is dedicated to Angel Acevedo. A heartfelt thank you to you, Angel, from the whole Amelia team for your generous support. It's really appreciated. And now it's time to begin the new episode.

What do you mean he hasn't been here since two o'clock? That's six hours ago. He said he was just going out to get a kit kat. A kit kat? Seriously? And you didn't find that suspicious? Just, uh, you know. He never eats kit kats. Joey, Salvatore, I need you to take the back exit and check if anyone is outside. Yes, boss. They've got him. Oh, this is bad. This is bad. This is... Alvina, there's more. What do you mean? Sit down. What?

Sit down. Okay. I've had word from Hampstead and Battersea. Yes? Brakens. No! Tapes, files, computers, everything has been taken. There's even more.

When Walter was bringing replacement corpses to the barn in Kendall, he saw three men with earpieces. He turned around before they caught sight of him. So MI5 knows it all. There's no place to hide. These men were Chinese. What? It seems we have more than just MI5 on our backs. He...

He might not have been taken by MI5, then. Perhaps not. The street is empty. Joey, Salvatore, I need you to keep watch. Anything unusual, you call me. Yes, ma'am. What now? Oh.

It's the next client. How do we interview him? I'll do it. Thank you. The Amelia Project. Created by Philip Thorne and Ostein Braga, with music and sound design by Frederik Baden. Episode 26. T.I.P. Welcome! Do you mind if I smoke? Do you mind if I throw darts? Excuse me?

It helps me think. See that midge over there? I think so. Wow! Bullseye! Your turn to impress me. We only accept the most exclusive cases. Drug lords with a price on their heads. Monarchs on the run.

Scientists escaping their own inventions. Can I have some of that first? Cocoa? It's my grandmother's recipe. This is amazing. You can tell your grandmother... She's dead. Oh, sorry. Don't be.

Tell me about your death. My death? Yes. How would you like to die? I don't. You don't want to die? No. Then why are you here? Should

I know you? Here's my card. Tip. T-I-P. Okay. What's T-I-P? The Incognito Project.

And what does the Incognito Project do? We make people disappear. Get out. You know what? I'm going to help myself to a little bit more of that cocoa. Take your feet off my desk. It's nice to finally meet you. Cut the bullshit and tell me why you're here. Mind if I throw one of those darts?

I know who you are. You specialize in life insurance scams. Yes! I use the word specialize generously. You were caught on camera last month digging up a guy in Highgate Cemetery then driving him off on a motorcycle. What were you doing burying someone alive? Our coffins are state-of-the-art.

Oxygen tanks, back massage technology, broadband. We pop some protein bars in the deceased's pockets, and they survive for days. Huh. Smart coffins. It's the future of death fraud. I hear you faked someone's death by mistake. Why don't you tell me about that? Ugh, that woman had a twin sister. Freak coincidence. What did you do when you found out you'd got the wrong woman? Well, it was too late. She was already in the coffin. Oh, God. Yeah, her sister looked shifty as hell at the funeral, though. I can tell you that.

Wait, you went through with it? Yeah, we set her up with a new life in Costa Rica. Against her will? Costa Rica is nice. They have great shellfish. Why are you here? Why do you think? You want to learn from us?

Okay, tell me what you want or leave. I don't have time for games. Well, do you have a job for us? I don't. In that case... But I think you might have a job for us. Excuse me? Don't act so surprised. What job could we possibly have for you? Really? Is that how you want to play it?

Mm-hmm. Half your clients come here begging us to fix your cock-ups. That's the half that doesn't get arrested or accidentally killed. You are amateurs. And yet, we're not the ones running from MI5. Oh! Yes, we have our sources. So, you've come here to gloat? Honestly?

Yes, a bit. But there's more to it than that. We've decided to help you. Help us? Why? How? By faking your deaths. In return, we get your contacts, your case files, and your surgeon.

Plus that cocoa recipe. Are you serious about this? 100%. Do you have a plan? It's all worked out. Shoot. Okay, you're going to call this number and give yourselves up. Give ourselves up?

Wait, wait, there's more. Yeah, there better be. Okay, the police arrive, handcuff you, and put you in a van. So far, I'm really not liking this plan. handcuff you, and put you in a van. So far, I'm really not liking this plan. On the way to Belmarsh Prison, the van collides with a swerving bus.

Shattered glass, flames, chaos. Wow. We'll swoop in as paramedics and retrieve you. You think you can swing that? It's all set up. Your smart coffins are already waiting. All we need to know is what flavor protein bars you like. You're crazy. I'm offering you a way out. Thanks, but no. I said no. Here. What is that? Take the number and call. Wasn't I clear? No, no, no. I wouldn't let you fake my death in a million years.

You have no choice. Um, what? If you don't call this number, I will. Well, one way or another, the police will arrive. The question is whether or not we strike a deal before they get here. You think you can replace us? You really think that? The Amelia Project has had its run.

Everything comes to an end. You think that by studying our case files and stealing our surgeon, you can be like us? And the Coco. Don't forget the Coco. You will never be like us. Maybe not. But we'll be the only players left in town. Supposing we struck a deal. Yes, that's the right thing to do. What about our new lives? What? You've told me about our deaths, but how do we resurface? We specialize in South America. We could bring you back as Peruvian

farmers. Maize quinoa, rice, or coffee? Excuse me? What type of agriculture? Uh, quinoa. You don't have a clue, do you? We will work out these details later. I don't trust you. You have my word.

Who's to say you won't bury us for real? Beggars can't be choosers. So, have you made up your mind? Do we have a deal? Right now, there's just one decision, and it's for you. Oh, what's that? Do you want to leave with or without a dart stuck in your volleyball? Don't tell me you'd rather be behind bars than soaking up the sun drinking Mai Tais. That's not even Peruvian. A Mai Tai is an international delight.

I will count to three. I'll call the police. One. I'll give you five minutes to change your mind, then I'll call the police. Two. Okay, you have my card. Three.

Adios. On the back side of the card, there's an email you can use to... Get out! Do you want the door open or closed? Gah! With Smartwater's pure, crisp taste, there's nothing to overthink. So while you may be spiraling over double texting your crush,

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No. Then who is it? Are you Mateo? Maybe. For fuck's sake. You don't make it easy to find you, do you? Why the hell are you in a hotel in London? Who are you? A client. Ah, I see.

Welcome to the Incognito Project. How was your journey? You don't recognize me? Do I know you? You helped me disappear. Or rather, you were supposed to. I'm sorry, but after reconstructive surgery, it's supposed to be impossible to recognize the client, even for TIP staff. to be impossible to recognize the client, even for TIP staff. Pre-constructive, your so-called surgeon drew a mole on my cheek with a sharpie. Well, yes, I can see how that might seem insufficient, but it is incredible how little you really need to do to look different. They're after me again. Who? The cops. Who are you again? John Grizzle. Previously Jonathan Gruddle. Oh, you. Yes, I do remember you.

It is a pleasure to see you again. No, it really isn't. You said I would be safe to keep robbing banks. Did I? That was the deal. A new life. Just like the old one, but without a criminal record. And we didn't deliver?

I was caught on camera. Now my face is all over the news. And they know it's me. They know I didn't die. How did they recognize you with the mole? You could be your twin brother. On that blurry security footage, you can't even see the mole. So. What you're saying is you need a new disappearance.

Yes. Well, aren't you lucky. At TIP, your second disappearance is always half price. I don't want to use the incognito project. Sorry? I don't want you buffoons anywhere near me ever again. Well, then why are you here? I need a referral. Ass.

Last time you said you were the best in the business. That means there must be others. I want to know who your competitors are. We don't have any. But you said... I say a lot of things. If you're the best, that means there must be... Best and only.

Only? Only. That kind of makes the best part less impressive, doesn't it? No, we could be the only and worst. I mean, that would be disastrous. So I'm basically fucked then? Like I said, your second disappearance is half price. That's 50% off. You know what? I don't believe you. If a bunch of nitwits like you could come up with this harebrained business model, someone else must have too. And with or without your help, I'm going to find them. Listen! Wait!

I'll make your second disappearance on the house. It'll be free! Oh. Damn. Okay, I guess it's time. It'll be free! Oh, damn. Okay, I guess it's time. Heads or tails? Tails. Ha! You make the call.

But I... Go on, then. Call Northcott. Brace yourself for the cursing. Yeah, but she's going to go ballistic. That's putting it mildly. Incoming call. Important. There's no caller ID. Well, go on. Answer.

Yes? Yes? Right. Berman C-36 Leroy Street. Got it. Can I take down a contact number for you? It's just, we... Hello?

Hang on. What did he say? We're saved. We don't have to tell Northcott. This isn't over yet. Are you serious? Put Leroy Street into the GPS. Okay. Leroy Street.

Alvina? It's time to implement the third option. You mean... We have to leave at once. You've got one minute to grab any essentials. We need Joey and Salvatore to get the van ready. Joey! Salvatore! A new message on the answer phone.

What? New voicemail, just in. No, we're closed for business. You're going to want to hear this. What is it? Just listen. Okay. Amelia. Alvina. It's me. We hope you enjoyed today's episode. Do you want to delve behind the scenes and get to know the Amelia team? Well, on a regular basis, we hold Coco Corner video live stream Q&As for our $5 patrons.

The next one will take place on the 4th of October with Einstein Breger and Anders Piresen and there will be another one on the 15th of November with Julia Morizawa. To take part go to patreon.com slash Amelia podcast that's p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com slash Amelia podcast and join our community. Stay tuned for the epilogue, but first, the credits. This episode was written by Philip Thorne and Einstein Breger. It was directed by Julia Morizawa and Benjamin Noble,

with music and sound design by Frederick Barden. The episode featured Julia Morizawa as Amelia, Michael Gauvier as Matteo, Brad C. Wilcox as John Gruttle, Julia C. Thorne as Alvina, The episode was engineered by Evan Cunningham, Gabriel Geber and Robert Rustad Amundsen. It was co-produced by Julia Morizawa and Imploding Fictions with graphic design by Anders Pedersen. Thank you to all our patrons who make this show possible and a special thank you to Jem Fiddick, Eric DeMarge, Angel Acevedo, Sophie Leveso, Sophia Anderson and Katarina Zindela. We're now settling into our usual bi-weekly release schedule, so the next regular episode

will be in two weeks' time, but fear not, a little treat will pop up on your feed next Monday to tide over the wait. And now, the epilogue. And now, the epilogue. Good choice! A new life awaits! Do you like South America? You'll hear back from us within an hour. If you don't hear back, please consider the whole thing a hoax. Leave your message after the beep. Not the beep I just said. There'll be a physical beep.

The Fable & Falling Network. Where fiction producers flourish. It's a tale of learning and healing. We've got a whole province going to see one overworked witch in a candy cottage that's been chewed to pieces by the local kids. Of fairies and magic. You're touching the sapphire of assessment! I'm not touching it! I'm just putting my head near it as I focus my brainial waveforms on it.

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