The Amelia Project - Episode 71 - The Wicked Bible (1631)

Episode Date: September 1, 2023

"I've always wanted to take a stab at printing!" Johannes Gutenberg's invention has changed the way God's word is disseminated. Bible printing is big business, and never more so than in England 1631. Everyone wants a copy of the new King James Bible. The royal printing patent is held by a man named Robert Barker, and in this episode you will hear about the day his paths crossed with The Brotherhood of the Phoenix... Featuring Alan Burgon, David Ault, Julia C. Thorne and Hemi Yeroham. Written by Philip Thorne, directed by Oystein Ulsberg Brager and Philip Thorne. Sound design by Alexander Danner. Music by Fredrik Baden. Graphic design by Anders Pedersen. Production assistance by Maty Parzival. This episode is dedicated to Parker Pearcy. Website: https://ameliapodcast.com/  Transcripts: https://ameliapodcast.com/season-5  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ameliapodcast Donations: https://ameliapodcast.com/support Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-amelia-project?ref_id=6148 Twitter: https://twitter.com/amelia_podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ameliapodcast/ Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ameliapodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summer's here, and you can now get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? You can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken parmesan delivered. Sunshine? No. Some wine? Yes. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. See app for details.

Cold tapes. A gripping crime story that will chill you to the bone. You know, life on the base means, well, it's close to six months without light. That does things to people that study that he was doing to watch us and then set off us like mice around this special little experiment how many people are on this base 16 on this one someone amongst them is our killer experience cold tapes the murder mystery podcast game start your investigation where you get your is our killer. Experience Cold Tapes, the murder mystery podcast game. Start your investigation

where you get your podcasts. The Amelia Project would not be possible without the generous support of our patrons. This episode is dedicated to super patron Parker Percy, who, during a cheese-throwing contest in the Dutch town of Spakenbog will be bludgeoned to death by a giant gouda and will reappear as an opera singer at La Finice.

Enjoy the episode. It's almost midnight. Midnight already. You know, at midnight the Eiffel Tower sparkles. If we go to Dalida's tomb, we'll see it. It's just around the corner. Sure. I could do with moving a bit again.

Me too. You know, you're a good listener. You're a good storyteller. What will you... What will you do with them? With what? My stories. What do you mean? Well, I mean, I'm entrusting you with the most precious stories I've collected.

I'm passing them on to you, Alvina. So that they won't be forgotten. Here we are. And there's the Eiffel Tower. What a view. Indeed. Arthur? Yes?

Your stories won't be forgotten. You'll keep telling them. Oh, you know, storytelling isn't really my forte. But I was thinking I'd type everything up and provide an index so clients can easily be searched by period, profession and country. And with a few days at the British Library, I'm sure I could cross-reference every case with existing documentation from registries, letters, newspapers and gazettes of the time. Yes. And then you could publish it. Yes.

No, wait. I was thinking we'd destroy all the digital copies. File the printouts into ring binders and keep them in the most secure corner of the secret archives. Where nobody would read them. Well, that is the point of a secret archive. And don't you think that's a waste? Sure, but... What's the alternative? You want to air our dirty laundry in public?

Dirty? Well, come on, you know what I mean. Well, then present it as a fiction. Nobody will believe it anyway. I mean, turn it into a play, or better yet, a musical. Yes, Amelia can cash in on the royalties, a new revenue stream based on our life's work. Huh. Who owns the copyright? Sorry? You or the

clients? Oh, um... Huh. I should see if I can draft a contract that gives us exclusive rights to their stories. I mean, you can copyright anything. This view, for example. What? Yes, it's copyrighted. A view of the Eiffel Tower?

Well, no, not by day. By day you can snap away to your heart's content, but once it gets dark and those lights come on, well, the illumination is a copyrighted work of art. You're joking! I'm not. Wow. Pantone 219C.

Sorry? The pink, used by Barbie. Also copyrighted? Trademarked. Gosh, the colour? Trademarked. Gosh, colour? Oh, yes. I mean, there's Reese's Orange, UPS Brown, Tiffany Blue, Post-It Yellow, all trademarked. Then there are sounds.

Sounds. Zippo lighters click. Oh, the New York Stock Exchange bell. Noted. I mean, books belong to their authors, of course, and become public property 70 years after their death. Although there are exceptions. Such as?

Peter Pan. J.M. Barrie. Yes, wonderful man. Barrie gifted eternal rights to Great Ormond Street Hospital. Did you know that Peter Pan has been saving the lives of children to this day? I did not know that. That's really beautiful.

Yes. But of course, the most famous example of eternal copyright for a book is that of the book. Which book? The book. The book? Yes, the book of books. The the book. Which book? The book. The book?

Yes, the book of books. The original book. The book that sparked the printing revolution. The... What? Yes? You mean the Bible? Yes.

Wait. The Bible is copyrighted? Oh, I hope you haven't been selling bootleg Bibles, Alvina. What, because Matthew, Mark, Luke and John would rise from their graves to sue me? No. Oh, phew, lucky escape. Somebody higher up. God?

Lower. Jesus? Um, no, lower. Um, um, uh... I give up, tell me. The crown. The crown? Yes.

The royal family owns the eternal copyright to the King James Bible. No way! Don't try and reprint, circulate passages, write commentaries or draw upon it in any way, or you could get your knuckles wrapped by Her Majesty. Well, not that I was planning on doing any of those things, but... You're seriously saying that if I go and buy a Bible, the Queen gets royalties? Royalties? I mean, where do you think that word comes from? Huh, of course.

The monarch grants the privilege of Bible printing to a favoured subject. Right now, the Royal Letters Pat patent is held by Cambridge University Press, but back in 1631, it was held by a man named Robert Barker. Is this the beginning of another story? Yes, I guess it is. Thank you. The Amelia Project by Philip Thorne and Øystein Ulspek-Braga with music and sound direction by Frederik Baden and sound design by Alexander Danner.

Episode 71. The Wicked Bible. 1631. Hello? Hello? Hello? Bull's pizzle. Too late. Well, let me see if I can work this thing.

I've always wanted to take a stab at printing. Let me see here. There's a G, O, and... Where are you? Ah, there we are. D. God. So, I arrange the letters in the frame like so. Now, uh... Oh, yes, sir, where is the ink? What was that?

Mr. Barker, is that you? Ah. Robert, Barker? Who are you? Before I answer that, would you mind lowering the map? Don't come any closer or I will get you. Mr. Barker, I am here to help you. The Brotherhood of the Phoenix is at your beck and call. The Brotherhood of the Phoenix? Yes. We help people disappear. This is very strange. Strange? Well, it's just a coincidence. I found your address scratched

into a stool at the holly bush this morning and was about to visit you. Well, fancy that. I've saved you the trip. Well, yes, but how did you find me? Oh, there's a sign over the door. Robert Barker, Royal Printer.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, how did you know I need your services? In my experience, a man hiding under a table with a giant mallet is amenable to the idea of disappearing. But, no, but it's not... I'm still rather nervous of that mallet. Now that we've broken the ice, can't you put it down? It's not a mallet. It's not? What is it, then?

It's an ink ball. Oh, it's an ink ball? It's soft. Here you go, touch it. Oh, thank you. Oh, so it is. Leather, is it? Dog's skin stuffed with wool. What happens is you pour ink onto a smooth surface,

just like so there, and ensure good coverage. Then you take the ball and you pound it into the ink. Yep. Right. Until it's evenly inked from all sides. There you go, see? And now you can apply the ink to the typeset. Oh, may I? By all means. I'd love to have a ball. Thank you. So, ink, go, see? And now you can apply the ink to the typeset. Oh, may I?

By all means. Thank you. So, ink, ink, ink. Right, looks even to me. Now, pin the paper like so. Yes, there you go. And push it in and press. Harder than that, harder. Press.

Not so easy, is it? Press. Right. Broke a sweat. You get used to it. Now, let me see. My first printed word. Oh, how exciting.

Oh, dear. What is it? Well, that's embarrassing. Pass it over. Just as I thought. Dog. Yes, I forgot to reverse the type. It was meant to be God.

I know. The ability to read text backwards when typesetting is one of the compositor's most important skills. Yes, well, I can see that now. And in my profession, misplacing just three letters can have fatal consequences. Well, that is why you are the printer and not I. Now, I believe you have a story for me. A story? Yes, well, you see, the need to disappear is always preceded by a story.

Yes, but can't we do this at your offices? It's really not safe here. Oh, I'm not sure you'd like that. You see, my offices are above Holland's Liga. I know. I was just about to visit you, remember? Yes, but do you know what happens at Holland's Liga? I do.

Oh, right. Yes, well, of course. I mean, well, yes, I suppose we do have men of God regularly entering the brothel. I just thought that you being... What? I am hardly a man of God. Oh? You're not God-fearing? Of course I am. But man of God is a term reserved for the clergy.

Ah, the clergy. No, no, no, come on. You are so much more influential than the clergy. I am just a humble printer. You spread God's message. The word of God is made manifest in this very workshop, is it not? It passes through that press letter by letter, word for word. I print the Bible, yes. How many words are in the Bible? 783,137.

How many tiles is that? 3,116,480. Then I dare say you have a much more intimate knowledge of the Bible than any priest or bishop. That is true. I suppose I know the Bible backwards. Yes, literally. You are the only man in England to print the Bible, is that correct? Well, the only one to do so legally. So you are the conduit to God.

Quite the responsibility. Indeed. How long have you held the Royal Bible printing patent? King James commissioned his new Bible in 1604. Why? Sorry? I mean, why did he commission the new Bible? Why wasn't the old one good enough? Well, the original Bible did not show enough respect for royalty. I see. The new translation adheres to a strict set of rules, reinterpreting phrases to support the monarch

and bishop-led hierarchy. When it was completed in 1611, King James ruled that only his new Bible could be read in churches. Well, quite the print run, I would imagine. Indeed. Every chapel, church, and cathedral in the country put in orders, and I received the exclusive royal patent to print the King James Bible. Congratulations. King James must have thought very highly of you. Ha! What? I paid 3,500 pounds for the privilege. You paid 3,500 pounds? Yes.

But how did you get 3,500 pounds? My father, Christopher Barker, was one of the most successful printers in England. I see. So you come from an illustrious family of printers. Yes, I wanted to make him proud, exceed what he had achieved. So I invested my entire inheritance. Quite the gamble. Yes, but even then I was £1,000 short.

So? So I went to my competitor Bonham Norton. What for? I asked him to make up the short form. You... You asked your competitor? Mm-hmm.

He refused, surely? He agreed. What? Why? We made a deal. He would give me the money, and in return, he would print 800 Bible pages a week. What? Well, he'd print them and send them to me to compile and bind, and I would pay him a percentage. I see.

Well, you are a man of God and a man of business. You turned your competitor into a colleague. That's a very canny move. I didn't say that. No? No, there was no love lost between me and Norton. But it sounds like a mutually profitable collaboration. Partnering with Norton was the worst mistake I ever made. Really? How so? Tell me, Barker. I caught Norton selling individual pages and concealing the profits. Individual pages? But, I mean, who wants individual Bible pages?

Certain pages have a high value on the black market. Really? Oh, no, wait, let me guess. The Nativity? The Song of Solomon. The Song of Solomon? What's the Song of Solomon? And what makes it popular enough to be sold loose leaf on the black market? Well, I dare say the same thing that makes Holland's Liga popular. Oh, yes, right. What, really? You've never read the Song of Solomon?

I have not, but now I want to. Hand me a Bible. There you go. Thank you. The Song of Solomon, you said? Yes, Old Testament, between the books of Ecclesiastes and Isaiah. Okay, Ecclesiastes, yes, okay. Right, okay, got it. Thy navel is like a round goblet which wanteth not liquor. Thy belly is like a heap of wheat set about with lilies.

Thy two breasts are like two young rows that are twins. Oh, my. Go on. Right, yes. My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door. Good Lord. And my bowels were moved for him. Is it me or is it getting rather hot in here? Could we open up that window?

No, no, we mustn't draw attention to ourselves. No, yes, right, of course. Is it all like this? It's all ten pages. It's an allegory for God's love, but not everyone reads it that way. Yes, quite. May I take a copy back to Holland's Liga? I am a wall and my breasts are like towers. Thus I have become in his eyes like one bringing contentment. Can we get back to my story?

Yes, sorry. Engrossing stuff. So, you caught Norton selling this biblical filth to beard splitters and swill bellies on the streets of Southwark. What then? Well, I learnt my lesson and from that moment on I

only gave him the boring bits. The boring bits? Like Leviticus. What happens in Leviticus? God lists which animals are clean for eating and which are not. It's a long list. I also gave him the book of Isaiah. The book of Isaiah?

Yes, it contains the longest word in the Bible, Mahashalalashbaz. Right, well, I'm sure he had fun typesetting that. Yes, but he also started using his typeset setting to create mischief. Oh, what do you mean? Well, during an extraordinarily busy print run, in the next 800 pages he delivered, he exchanged the names Jesus and Judas. No. Luckily, I noticed it before the Bibles went out. Oh, thank the Lord. But I had to go through every page and paste slips of paper over the names. After this, I cut Norton loose. Yes, I mean, how did he react? He did help you acquire the patent, after all.

He demanded I pay back his share of the patent money, or else he would ruin me. Did you pay him? Not a shilling. Risky move. I can't afford to, not yet. What? But you have the monopoly on the word of God. I mean, surely you've earned back your investment. Well, you would think so, wouldn't you? You haven't? I would have made the money back, and then some, if it weren't for that Puritan arseworm Michael Spark. Michael Spark? He has been undercutting my monopoly, smuggling in Bibles from Germany for the past five years. The Luther Bible? There's a market for German Bibles here in England. No, no, no, they're not German Bibles.

They print English Bibles, but in Hamburg. Really? Hamburg? That way it's out of our jurisdiction. We can't seize their equipment. They print them on cheap paper, smuggle them into England and sell them loosely for five shillings. Just half of what we charge. Last week in Plymouth we seized a stockpile of over 1,000 unauthorised Bibles. Wow. What did you do with them? What do you think?

Burned them? What? I'm not a heathen. No, of course. It is still the word of God, after all. It is not the word of God. Without the royal stamp, it is nothing but a criminal counterfeit. Right. But with the royal stamp... Oh, you didn't.

You gave criminal Bibles the royal imprint and put them on the market? Yes. But isn't that blasphemous? Come on, I turned fake Bibles into real ones. What could be more godly than that? Yes, I suppose. ones. What could be more godly than that? Oh, yes, I suppose. Well, Barker, I am beginning to appreciate that Bible printing is a cutthroat business, but I still don't understand why it warrants your disappearance. Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes

refuge. In the shadow of your wings I will take refuge till the storms of destruction pass by. Eh? Psalm 57. The storms of destruction are coming. Oh, yes. Storms of destruction. Yes. And in plain English?

Do you remember how I told you that in my profession, misplacing three letters can have fatal consequences? Oh, yes. Like when I turned God into dog. I did something worse than that. Worse than turning the supreme being into a canine? Which three letters could be more important than God? I omitted three letters in Exodus chapter 20, verse 14. Exodus, you say? Chapter 20, verse 14?

Yes. Let's see here. It's near the beginning. Yes, yes, here Chapter 20, verse 14? Yes. Let's see here. Near the beginning. Yes, yes, here we are. Ah, got it, yeah. Right then. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image or any likeness. Blah, blah,

blah. It does go on. Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt commit adultery. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt commit adultery Thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not bear false witness Against thy neighbor, thou shalt Wait a minute Thou shalt commit adultery Thou shalt commit adultery, Robert

No, oh no, no, no, no Yes, yes, yes, you see Oh, this is bad, Robert This is very, very bad I know Oh, you'd better start printing knots and get pasting. I'll help you. No, it's too late for that. No, you mean this has already gone on sale?

Yesterday, I delivered 500 Bibles from this print set to the Archbishop of Canterbury. Oh, you didn't. As we speak, they're being distributed to churches across Kent. Oh, Robert. It is only a matter of time before a priest or parishioner discovers the seventh commandment. Oh, and once they do, lust and lechery will be unleashed. There will be queues outside Holland's Liga.

Yes, and the Archbishop's men outside my door. Good Lord, Robert, you will lose your printing license. For such a heinous perversion of the Lord's word, they will hang me. Well, I won't lie, Robert. It is a terrible mistake you have made. I made no mistake. What? You don't mean... It was sabotage.

You suspect Norton? Oh, Spark or one of the other printers. They're all after my license. Oh, well, jumble my guts. Will you help me disappear before they come for me? Hmm, I don't know. Please. Oh, well, do you know the Bear Garden on the South Bank? I don't care for blood sports.

Oh, no, no, neither do I. No, no. But that's why I thought it would be amusing to shake things up and let the bear chase the spectators for a change. What has this got to do with me? Well, you see, over the past months we have been training a bear to seemingly attack and maul a man, whilst in actual fact leaving him unscathed. I think it is time to put Sackerson to the test. Sackerson? Our bear.

He looks fierce, but don't be fooled. He's an absolute darling. Right. I will pose as the bear master. Sackerson pulls at the leash, the leash snaps, and Sackerson is free. The spectator's jeers turn into screams as Sackerson leaps out of the pit and onto the scaffold, charging straight towards a man in the front row. Me?

You. How will he know to come for me? Oh, that's easy. Before entering the bear garden, you will bathe in honey. Right. Right. Right. Sackerson pounces. He snaps and snarls and growls and gnashes and claws and rips and tears and thrashes and... I don't like this plan! No, no, no, don't worry. We have trained Sackerson well.

He won't harm a hair on your head. This is a real live bear we're talking about. Well, who would you rather face? A bear or the Archbishop of Canterbury? I would rather be covered in honey than tarred and feathered. Indeed. So, when does my death take place? Well, actually, there is a spectacle at the bear garden this afternoon.

Perfect. But... Yes? Well, you see, training Sackerson took months, and I will need to offer the Bear Master a healthy bribe to swap places with him. I understand. Your service has come at a cost. Yes. Well, you see, the Brotherhood of the Phoenix is not a charity. How much?

Well, I was thinking somewhere in the region of, say, £3,500. What? Is that a problem? You know I don't have that kind of money. Oh, you raised it once, you can raise it again. What? Another inheritance? I can't, and certainly not before this afternoon. Well, that is a pity, but I understand. It was lovely talking to you, Robert. I learned a lot about Bible printing. Really, we must do it again sometime. No, no, don't go. Stop, stop, stop. Toodle-oo.

Please, there must be some other way I can pay you. Well, now that you mention it... Yes? How would you like to work for us? As a death faker? Oh, no, good Lord, no, no, no. As a printer. Oh.

Yes, you see, we want to expand. And you could help us reach clients all over the country. All over the country. So I would print pamphlets for you. Well, you see, we can't advertise openly, of course. Well, of course not, yes. No, no, we like to advertise discreetly, leaving messages in places where those needing to disappear are most likely to look.

Ah. I mean, what do you do when your life has hit a dead end? Visit an alehouse. We have alehouses covered. What else do you do? Pray. Exactly, Robert, you pray. Who do you think will receive the royal printing patent after you've been torn apart by Sackerson? Norton, I assume. Right, And how would you like to meddle with his work? Oh, I would like nothing more. Splendid. I thought you would say that.

Yes. But you see, we will advertise in Bibles. What? Yes, if the Bible can be tweaked to suit the needs of kings and bishops. Surely we can do some tweaking of our own. Well, I don't know. Why? What's the problem? It just feels blasphemous. Oh, blasphemous. Coming from you, that's rich.

I suppose. All right, I'll do it. Marvelous. So, we could work hidden messages into the psalms and prayers that troubled souls are most likely to consult, such as Psalm 23, Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. Jeremiah 29, For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil. Matthew 11, Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Yes, we could do that. Yes. Or? Or? Well, you see, the services we offer are life-changing, quite literally. Coming to the Brotherhood is a decision that should not be undertaken lightly. A client choosing a death-faking business deserves references. References? I feel that our advertisements would have the most impact

if placed after tales of satisfied clients. Satisfied... Such as? Enoch. Elijah. Cain. Samson. Joseph.

You're not saying that those people were... Oh, yes, I am. But? But? Well, you tell me, what happened to Enoch? According to the book of Hebrews, he was taken away so that he did not see death. And have you never wondered about this choice of words? Taken away so that he did not see death. Well, I hadn't really... What about Elijah?

Disappeared into the sky in a chariot of fire. Ah, yes, that was a good one. Fire. A classic Brotherhood of the Phoenix disappearance. But... What about Cain, the world's firstborn son and first murderer? He was relocated east of Eden so he would not have to wander the earth and be killed by the first person who saw him. Relocated by whom? By God! Oh, well, I mean, I did have a rather

dashing beard at the time, but I wouldn't... Oh, come on, this is ridiculous. Well, what about Samson? Samson, he brought a house crashing down upon himself and 3,000 enemies killing everyone. Yes, well, we weren't so fussy about collateral in those days. But Samson was killed too and buried next to his father's grave. Or a replacement corpse of the same height and build. Oh, come on. What about Joseph? You mentioned Joseph. Surely you're not talking about the... Has it never struck you that he is not mentioned again after Jesus' childhood? That's true. He vanishes without a trace.

You see, there is no shortage of characters from your book disappearing in dramatic, suspicious or mysterious ways. And after all, what is the New Testament all about? Love. Ha! Death and resurrection. You're surely not claiming you were behind these disappearances? Oh, well, not all of them. No, of course not. No, no. But never let the truth get in the way of a good story. So, Robert, we have a deal?

We will slip pages into Norton's manuscripts? I will need my equipment. Oh, not to worry. My assistants are waiting outside with a crating carriage. They will dismantle your press and transport it safely to Holland's Liga. Wonderful. Wait, wait, hang on. They're outside.

We've only just made this plan. Do you have anything to drink? But surely I... You see, it's our tradition to seal the deal with the juice. Oh, that's very nice, but I still have some questions. You know what? Actually, not to worry. Back at Holland's Liga, we have a case of Bavarian ale gifted to us by some Polana monks.

We got them out of trouble after they decided it was appropriate to drink beer during the Lenten fast. I mean, can you imagine it? Forty days of consuming only beer resulted in them carving blasphemies into the cloister walls and trashing the local church. We set them up with a new life as asparagus farmers in France.

Asparagus farmers? I will tell you all about it on the way to Holland's Liga. Now, let's go. Make sure that... Giovanni Serafino, you can dismantle the press. Now, let's get out of here before the Archbishop comes. Come on, go, go, go. There's no time to lose. Come on, turn up any moment now.

Okay, okay. Go, go. Run, man, run. Stay tuned for the epilogue, but first the credits. This episode was dedicated to Parker Percy and featured Alan Bergen as the interviewer, David Ault as Barker and Julia C. Thorne as Alvina. The episode was written and edited by Philip Thorne with story editing by Einstein Braga, sound design by Alexander Danner and music by Frederick Barden.

The episode was directed by Philip Thorne and Einstein Braga thanks to Chris Pepper and Alexander Danner for script consultancy. Production assistance was by Marti Partival and graphic design by Anders Pedersen. If you're supporting the show on Patreon, thank you so much from all of us. You are the reason new episodes keep appearing and clients keep disappearing. We could not do this without you.

And a shout out to our super patrons. That's Celeste, Joes, Heat312, Rodney, Dalegi, Jem, Fiddick, Alban, Assant, Amelie and Alison, Stephanie Weidenhiller, Raphael, Eduardo, Vifas, Verrastecki, Ashlyn Brand, Alison Throe, Patricia Bornwagner, Bryce Godmer, Cliff Heisinger, Michael West, Tom Putnam, Diana Birchenbreiter, Tim McMacken, Blythe Varney, Parker, Percy, Sophie H, Natali, Aurora, Emre, Chibi, Posh, Baby, Rentals, Florida, Lee and V. Huardine, Mr. Squiggles,

David Livingston, Tony Fisher, Tibby, Baby Rentals, Florida, Lee and the Huardine, Mr. Squiggles, David Livingston, Tony Fisher, Tibby, Florian Byers, Kirtney Mays, Renson, Sonny D, Anomaly, Boo, Jackie B, Helia Haas, Liebre de Aconito, and Scrubs. If you'd like to become a patron and get access to the exclusive bonus series, The Arthur Archives, that accompanies this season, as well as other perks, visit ameliapodcast.com and click on support the show. You can also support us by leaving a review on your podcast app or by giving us a shout out on social media. You can find us on all the socials and we've also recently joined Blue Sky. And now, the epilogue.

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for thy love is better than wine. A bundle of myrrh is my well-beloved unto me. He shall lie all night betwixt my breasts. Please, put away that smart. No, no, no, listen, it gets better. Thy lips, oh my love, drop as the honeycomb. Honey and milk are under thy tongue, and the smell of thy garments is like the smell of Lebanon. Have you stolen one of the girl's letters? What?

Give it back or Polly will evict us. I'll have you know I am studying the Bible. Of course you are. But it's true. Look. Here. The Song of Solomon. Oh, and before I forget, here are the tiles. N, O, I forget. Here are the tiles. N O

and T. So the plan worked. Like a charm. Giovanni and Serafino are dismantling the press as we speak. And Robert Barker is downstairs with the girls

bathing in honey. You don't feel bad about ruining that man's career? Oh, God, no. Not after the stories he told me. Bible printing, as it would happen, is a vicious business. Death fakery will provide him with a much more pleasant life. Oh, on that topic, I know we wanted to give him a few more months of training, but I said that Sackerson was ready for a fake mauling this afternoon. What?

What do you say? Risk it? Oh, it'll be fine, I think. The Fable & Folly Network. Where fiction producers flourish. Hi folks. Let me see if I can sum up Midnight Burger in about 25 seconds. Really big monster? Zero irony.

Pardon me, Gloria. Might my husband and I have a word? The radio is talking to me. So this is how it ends. Eaten by wolves in space. There's a pocket dimension in the deep freeze. This is the stupidest dystopia we've ever been to. What the hell is that? Because you're having a cigarette in 415 million BC?

Where are we? Space? Can you narrow that down? The bad part? Ava. Yeah, that didn't work at all. At the nexus of all things, there is a diner. Look for Midnight Burger on your favorite podcasting app, or just go to weopenat6.com.