The Amelia Project - Forgive Amelia - Part 2 - The American Palate

Episode Date: August 22, 2021

“I must confess, I’ve never done this whole sit in a secret booth and unburden myself to a stranger behind a privacy screen thing.” Forgive Amelia - A Triptych: Episode 2 - Alvina A three part mini-season cross over with Forgive Me! by Rogue Dialogue Productions. Read more about Forgive Me! here: roguedialogue.com/fm-about With Casey Callaghan, Julia C. Thorne, Alan Burgon and Julia Morizawa For Rogue Dialogue Productions: Written and edited by Bob Raymonda Directed by Bob Raymonda and Jack Marone Sound design and music by Adam Raymonda Graphic design by Sam Twardy For Imploding Fictions: Story editing by Philip Thorne and Oystein Brager Graphic design by Anders Pedersen The Amelia Theme tune is by Fredrik Baden Production assistance by Maty Parzival Forgive Me! is produced by Rogue Dialogue Productions and created by Jack Marone and Bob Raymonda. The Amelia Project is produced by Imploding Fictions and created by Philip Thorne and Oystein Brager. The Amelia Project is an audio fiction series. We recommend starting at the beginning. Congratulations. You’ve reached the content warning. The Amelia Project is about death, mishaps, mayhem and misfortune. And cocoa. If you’re not comfortable with this, stop listening. Now. The Amelia Project is part of the Fable & Folly Network. Find and support our sponsors at: fableandfolly.com/partners Website: ameliapodcast.com Transcripts: ameliapodcast.com/transcripts Twitter: @amelia_podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ameliapodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summer's here, and you can now get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? You can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken parmesan delivered. Sunshine? No. Some wine? Yes. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. See app for details. Hello and welcome to the second episode of Forgive Amelia a Triptych, our crossover miniseries with the fantastic comedy-audiodrama Forgive Me, which is here to tide you over until Season 4. But before we begin, some exciting news. We want to tell you about the very first Amelia Fan event, Coco Collabs 2021,

which takes place entirely online from the 30th of August to the 5th of September. This event is run by and for listeners and has nothing to do with us officially. In fact, when it was announced on Tumblr a few weeks ago, it took us completely by surprise. But we happily endorse it and we have a message here from one of the organisers to give you more info. Hi. Things are happening and coming closer. So let me tell you about the Coco Collabs. It's a one week long event by and for the fans of the Amelia Project, where we have seven main prompts and five alternatives for you to make fan art about, write fan fiction, cosplay or maybe something completely else even. All kinds of fanstuffs are very welcome. We start on the 30th of August and end on the 5th of

September 2021 but you can share your fan works whenever you want to. If you participate however on all seven days you'll get to call yourself a CoGo champion and earn your place in our Hall of Fame. Are you curious now? Find our prompts and more info on Tumblr and Twitter where we are at Cocoa Collabs and where we will reblog and retweet our participations as well as updates and maybe cute pictures of ducks every once in a while. If you have any questions, feel free to direct them there as well and our Cocoa coordinators will be happy to help. And keep your eyes open because there may be a surprise coming too but we can't say much about it right now, can we?

We just hope to see you in a few weeks. Bye! So that's at Coco Collabs Collabs, that's spelt C-O-L-L-A-B-S on Tumblr and Twitter and we look forward to seeing all the Amelia-inspired creations from the 30th of August to the 5th of September. So keep your eyes peeled for that or join in.

Or if you're listening to this in the future, you can probably still find everything by searching for the hashtag, hashtag CocoCollabs, all in one word. But right now, it's time to catch up with the Amelia team in upstate New York. And maybe, just maybe, today we'll get a few more details of what they were up to there before all will be revealed in the finale in two weeks' time. Enjoy the episode! Must you do that? Oh, yeah, sorry. It's something that I do when I'm feeling impatient.

I don't even think about it, it just happens. I'd prefer to sit in silence for now, if at all possible. Sure thing. Whatever you want. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm He'll do. Our secrets are safe with him. Amina, would you like to go next? All right. I could use a break from waiting around in here anyway. I'd tell you to be careful what you say around this chap, but I'm confident I left him in a sweet spot somewhere between both morbidly curious and gravely aware of the consequences of crossing us.

Oh, Joy. What are you sending us into? I'll be fine. Oh, Alvina. What? If he offers you cocoa, do yourself a favor and decline. That bad?

Let's just say I've had cow urine soda that was tastier. Good to know. We really mucked it up with her this week, didn't we? Yes. Yes, we did. Thank you. Everything. All right over there? I guess I've been better, you know? I would imagine so, after witnessing something as grave as the Salt City Potato incident. I must confess, I've never done this whole sit in a secret booth and unburden myself to a stranger behind a privacy screen thing.

If you believe in the lore, then me being here is kind of a bonus, right? The real purpose of confession is to commune with the big guy, so try to think of me as simply an antenna to help facilitate your conversation with him. It's all new to me. Would you prefer we speak somewhere else? In my office, perhaps? Oh, goodness, no.

I rather like the anonymity of it all. Then here it is. Do you need some help getting started? It's all right. I've seen a film or two in my time. I think I've got this down. After you, then. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

How long has it been since your last confession? Didn't I just tell you that this was my first time? Right. of course. I just... It's part of the whole theater of it, you know? Well, I guess I don't know what I might have done in a past life, do I? That is a very good point. Then I suppose it has been at least 25 years since my last confession.

And what's brought you here tonight? It has been at least 25 years since my last confession. And what's brought you here tonight? Is it possible to sin against yourself, Father? Of course it is. There are any number of ways that one is capable of failing oneself. In fact, I think we're all guilty of it in one way or another almost every day of our lives. It's just... I love my job. I really do.

It's challenging. There's always some new problem to sort out, and I'm good at it too. But I've been with the Amelia Project for a few years now, and it's hard not to feel like I'm constantly burning the candle at both ends, giving all of myself over to them. I haven't taken a single day off since I started. The Amelia Project. Like Amelia Earhart? You're a clever one, aren't you? Huh. I gotta say, I really like that.

Oh, I assumed he would have told you all about it by now. Or at least the CliffsNotes version, anyway. No, your colleague was pretty... cagey with me. He preferred that I be the one to open up. Yeah, that does sound like him. Is he always so... Mm-hmm. He is. That must be exhausting.

It can be, sure. And he certainly doesn't appreciate all of the work I do for him. Work that I really take pride in, by the way. He'd rather toss it out of the window and pretend he can do it all himself with that big old mouth of his. Yeah, he did mention something about hating paperwork. Ha! As if his stunts don't create heaps more of it. As if his stunts don't create heaps more of it. I swear, he treats me like the only reason I'm even there is to fetch him his Maltesers.

And you know what? I let him. I mean, sure, I have tried explaining. No, you have to read the case files. There is important background information that I have spent countless hours assembling for you. But he never listens. And no matter how many times I tell him to get his own damn cocoa, I always end up getting it for him anyway. He's just got that kind of power over people, you know? Just look at what he's turned Joey and Salvatore into.

I mean, I know you don's turned Joey and Salvatore into. I mean, I know you don't know Joey and Salvatore, but if you did, you'd understand my meaning. You get one good look at those two, and you implicitly understand that they're supposed to be Emilia's muscle. And yet, he's usually got them running around like proper errand boys. If you've got a boss

that doesn't appreciate all of the hard work you're putting in, I can see why you've begun to feel burnt out. But how, exactly, do you think that counts as sinning against yourself? Uh, first of all, whoever said he was my boss? Oh, jeez, I'm so sorry. I guess I only assume that because he's, you know, so charismatic and commanding and... No, he is not my boss. No matter how many times he may tell himself that he is. His day-to-day role may be a bit flashier than mine is, and the one that the clients will take home remembering, but mine is just as important.

If not even more so. And what is it, exactly, that you do for the Amelia Project? Anything and everything that they need me to. Ah, hence the burning your candle at both ends. Look, don't get me wrong, I genuinely enjoy what I do. And Amelia, she plucked me out of one hell of a sticky situation back home that I was more than happy to get out of. Wait. The Amelia Earhart's your boss?

She'd have to be pretty old to be the Amelia Earhart, wouldn't she? Yeah, I guess you're right. So how soon after you started did you begin to feel underappreciated for the work you were doing. It wasn't immediately. Amelia spoke very highly to the interviewer about my organizational skills, but that didn't strike him as a useful skill. It took a while for him to get comfortable enough around me to start making direct demands. So it was never established from the beginning what the corporate structure would be now that you were a part of it? No. Amelia isn't always the most hands-on person to be around. She set me up with my new life and wrote an address down for me on a scrap of paper. I was to show up there the next morning,

bright and early. When I got there, it didn't look like much. A small two-room office in a shared building with a drab sign on the door offering estate planning services. But when I walked inside, I was assaulted by the delicious smell of fresh hot cocoa. That's really a priority for him, isn't it? He says he can't think properly without it. Anyway, I showed up and he was in the middle of an interview. He regarded me curiously after it was complete, but barely said a word to me after that. Instead, I set myself up at my desk and began pouring through the random mishmash of files that Amelia had faxed in that week, and whittle away at them until they were in a good, clean, working order. I'd drop them off in his office, every night at the end of the day.

Even though I did eventually notice a pile of them unread starting to spill out of his wardrobe. Which is when I made my first mistake. What was that? I tidied up for him. And...? It was all open season after that. He continued to ignore the work that I was doing, but he had a whole lot more to say to me day in and day out. Ordering me around like I was some chambermaid.

Not that there's anything wrong with that profession, it just wasn't what I was there for. And yet he just didn't seem to realize it. What kept you still going after that? It was all just so interesting. Everything I was learning about these people. Everything that we had to do in order to make each disappearance work. It was all like... Like a brilliant maths equation that I couldn't pull myself away from.

Who cares if some idiot thought I was beholden to him? If it kept me doing something I so dearly loved, I could live with it. Okay, so you like what you do, but you could use a break, and wish you only had to focus on your actual responsibilities. But what does any of this have to do with the Salt City Potato incident? What doesn't it have to do with the Salt City Potato incident? What doesn't it have to do with the Salt City Potato incident? I don't know. That's what you're supposed to be telling me. This trip was supposed to be different.

It was supposed to be full of excitement and adventure and surprises. But instead, they brought me here. Yeah, I can see why that might be a bit disappointing. You know, it's my own fault, because I'd done plenty of research for the job, but never bothered to look at a map to see how far away we'd be from New York City. Yeah, I'm afraid New York's a pretty big state. This was to be my first time in the field. Normally I'm stuck back at the office doing prep work that will never be read for our next batch of clients, But this job was special, they told me.

I'd get a chance to get out of the country for a bit, and not only see my plans in action, but it fell on my birthday, so there'd be a chance to celebrate as well. That's nice. Happy birthday to you. Ha! Happy birthday indeed. Only, none of that happened the way it was meant to. And instead, I'm stuck here in this dingy little building with you. St. Patrick's is here for all who need it.

And frankly, it's as big as you want it to be on the inside. Like a TARDIS? A what now? I thought Americans loved Doctor Who now. I'm sorry, I don't get a whole lot of chances to watch TV. This place might not look like much, but I'll tell you, I can empathize with feeling underappreciated for the work you're doing. It doesn't necessarily make the job itself any less appealing, but it can certainly make it harder. As of about 17 minutes ago, I'm now 25 years old.

A quarter of a century. Do you think I'm having a quarter-life crisis? That would be pretty cliché now, wouldn't it? I think it's natural for us as human beings to take stock of ourselves at every big milestone. But I also think you're very young and have a long life ahead of you. You'll have plenty of chances to get it right. And, if I'm being honest, to get it wrong, too. You really don't understand how the Amelia Project works, do you?

For me, from now on, this job is it. It doesn't have to be, though. Not if you don't want it to. Well, yes, it kind of does. Are you here under some kind of duress? Is there someone I could call for you? That's rich. No, I'm not here under duress. I made every single decision that brought me here today myself.

And I understood when I signed the contract that it was a lifetime deal. That doesn't sound like a very safe or sound deal to me. Especially not if your fieldwork is to travel to another country and take part in sowing such chaos and upending countless people's lives. I wouldn't call it countless. In fact, I don't think it'd be that hard to count them at all. You know what I mean. I do. But do you know what I mean? That when this job was put in front of me, there was no other real choice. No, honestly, I don't.

I don't know a single person that would consciously make a decision like that. Then why he said you were clever is entirely beyond me at this point. Oh, he said I was clever? Well, not exactly. But he said you could handle this. Have I proven myself incapable in any way? Kind, not exactly. But he said you could handle this. Have I proven myself incapable in any way? Kind of, yeah. You barely even know me and you've already been a bit of a tosser. I don't know what that means. You wouldn't. I'm sorry, but I still don't understand what would drive a person

to willingly work for a company like the Amelia Project. Have you ever committed fraud, Father? I'd say that all of us, at one time or another, feel like a fraud. Like we have no business being in whatever position of power that we're in at any given moment. I think that's pretty universal, yeah. Of course it is, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about real criminal fraud. Oh. Um, then my answer is no.

That's what I thought. So your contract at the Amelia Project was about blackmail then? They had something over you, so you signed the dotted line? Oh, it wasn't nearly as threatening as that. They made me an offer that I had a very hard time finding any reason to refuse. It was either work for them or find myself in prison for an undetermined length of time. So I chose freedom. You have to see why this all seems very complicated to me. Sure, I do. But you also have to see why I made the choice I did. It makes a certain sort of morbid sense, yes. So you're done putting on your fake little concerned act and I can continue with my confession then?

I wasn't even aware that it had started yet. You're really a terrible listener, aren't you? I certainly am not. Well, you fooled me. Could we get back to you telling me about the festival, then? I suppose. But you're from around here, aren't you? Have you ever been to

one of these things? I've been known to salt a potato or two in my time, yes. When Amelia told me we were going to a food festival, I was so excited. I was convinced I'd be able to try all of these incredibly worldly delicacies that I'd never had a chance to experience in my life.

Yeah, I wouldn't exactly call any regional upstate New York food festival full of worldly delicacies. Guess I'll give you that much. Imagine my surprise when we arrived here and I realized it really was just booth after booth of salty potatoes. Well, do they make them this good where you're from? You call that good?

All it is is boiled potato-textured salt. You must have forgotten the butter, then. No, Father. I didn't. I think they're delicious. They've been a graduation party and backyard barbecue staple for my entire life. That's just so sad. The food where I came from was better than that, and I was basically raised on a rock. Not every food has to be for everyone.

But salt potato ice cream? Have you ever tried that monstrosity? No. I can't say that monstrosity? No. I can't say that even I've been that adventurous. When I saw the stall, I thought, thank God. A sweet reprieve from this sea of savoury. I ran right up and got

my scoop. But when I took the first lick, I was woefully disappointed. This wasn't a sugary treat at all. There was some lumpy, salty, frozen milk full of little bits of oiled potato. Yeah, I can't imagine that it'd be very good. It was dreadful. I couldn't even finish a single bite before I threw it out.

Amelia wouldn't let me expense it either. She said, Uh-uh. You are entirely on your own with that one If you want to make that kind of mistake You could pay for it yourself And so I took it as a challenge I won't be taking that kind of challenge again I've always thought that foods like that

The kind you find at big state fairs and carnivals and things Are more about the novelty than the actual flavor, don't you think? Like, who really enjoys chocolate-covered bacon or a slab of deep-fried butter? Ugh. I will never understand the American palate. Look, ma'am, neither will I, and I grew up here. But please, for the love of all that is holy, people were seriously injured at that festival. A historic cathedral was destroyed. You and your colleagues showed up here in the middle of the night,

moaning about being in a pickle and eating salt potato ice cream. But the more and more I learned about you all and what you do, coupled with the fact that not one, not two, but dozens of people are now nursing broken bones, makes me think we're nowhere near the heart of this situation. Can you try telling me as succinctly as possible what you were doing that day at the festival and how it has anything to do with the incident that followed? Someone's feeling a little touchy today, aren't we? Can you blame me? Well, besidestesting some really awful potato concoctions, I was there to witness a potato concoction of my own.

Or, well, a potato-boiling concoction, anyway. Finally, we're getting somewhere. You see, these kids were super particular. Their death had to mean something, and it had to involve these dreaded salt potatoes. So what better way for it to happen than to have them jump into their own respective boiling vats of the things? Good God, that sounds awful! Yes, exactly. That is the point.

Only, you know, they had to be able to survive without being horrifically disfigured in the process. And how were you able to manage that? It was a lot easier than you'd think, even though there were multiple problems we had to solve. And those were? My colleague, he ate this idea up when they pitched it to him. But, as always, he didn't think very hard about the engineering a task like this would require. How were we supposed to swap out two giant vats of boiling potatoes that would be on display for the festival goers to see all day long, right out from under their noses? I have no idea. By adding a full second pot, of course. We needed to create an insulated middle chamber that, when entered at the perfect angle,

would allow our clients to dive into the water completely unscathed, all the while still having a rim full of the things boiling up around the edges. How the heck were you able to pull that off? With days of practice. You see, rigging up the mechanism was easy enough. Those pots are so big, and they fill them so deep with potatoes, that hiding a second, smaller, person-sized pot in the middle of it was easy enough. But wouldn't the families have immediately seen that when they were getting ready for the day?

No, not at all, since it was our client's turn to do the honours of making the potatoes this year. Pfft, I thought you were from this area. You'd think you'd understand the intricacies of such a long-running festival. Well, excuse me for not knowing everything then. Anyway, after getting them safely into the vat, we had to get them out without raising too many suspicions. But that was alright, because this festival happens right out in the middle of the street and the vats were each situated above a manhole. Easy enough to build in a trap door

attached to a hose mechanism in order to refill the full second vat. But what about the heat source underneath them? We only had to boil the outside ring of the vat, so we rigged that up so it wouldn't be in the way of the escape hatch. Obviously. Sure. Yeah, obviously. But there's one thing I still don't understand. What's that? In all that commotion, getting them into and then immediately out of the sub-vats, wouldn't there still need to be bodies for this whole thing to work? That's the easy part. The Amelia Project's got bodies for days.

And since they were jumping into boiling water, we didn't even have to bother finding ones that looked right. They only needed to match our client's heights. That is concerning in a way I have absolutely no idea how to approach. It was really special, if I'm being honest. Getting to see my work in action. Thrilling, actually. Almost enough to make up for the fact that the trip so far had been so bollocks.

I even gave your salt potatoes another try. Still not for me, but at least the last batch was almost bearable. Ma'am, I can see that you get something out of working with these people. I really do, and I don't want to begrudge you any of your accomplishments. Then why do I sense a giant but coming? But people got hurt that day, and not even just the ones who hired you to fake their deaths. And? And you still haven't told me how the hell that happened. You're over here blathering on about feeling unappreciated and burnt out when clearly you've put yourself in an extremely dangerous position.

Now, I know I don't know you, but- No, Father. You definitely don't. But if I were you, I'd cut and run. Hell, I'd have cut and run years ago, if I'm being honest. And that's why you'll stay right here. While my colleagues and I, after this whole stupid technicality is out of the way, we'll push past Joey and Salvatore and we'll get on that plane and we'll fly back home so we can get right back to work. So there's really no part of you that can look back on the decisions that brought you here and realize that you've made a mistake? Oh, sure I can. I agreed to do this. You know full well that that's not what I'm talking about. I do, do I? That's my cue.

You have got to be kidding me. You still haven't told me about the incident. No, I haven't. But Father, that's not what I needed to get off my chest. Are you at least feeling any better then? I'll be all right. Thanks for asking. Wait, wait. Before you go,

do you think I'll be able to actually get anywhere with Amelia? Or is this just a waste of everyone's time? No, the boss is a straight shooter. And she's itching to get out of here. I'm sure she'll give you what you need. Alright, then. Honestly, though, Father, we may not quite see eye to eye on everything, but I really do appreciate you taking the time to listen. Yeah, well, that's my job. That's what I'm here for. Well, you must be good at it,

if everyone else who comes to you is half as hard to wrangle as we've been. They are, ma'am. They really are. Thank you. Forgive Amelia, a triptych, is a production from Imploding Fictions and Rogue Dialogue. This episode was written and directed by Bob Ramunda and Jack Marone Story editing by

Philip Thorne and Hoistine Brager Here's our cast in order of appearance. Julia Morizawa Amelia Julia C Philip Thorne and Hoystein Breger Here's our cast in order of appearance. Julia Morizawa Amelia Julia C. Thorne Alvina

Alan Bergen The Interviewer and Casey Callahan Father Ben The Amelia Project theme song originally composed by Friedrich Baden Music arrangement, composition, sound design, and mixing by me, Adam Raymunda.

Production assistance from Matipatsival. The graphic design for this crossover series by Anlis Pedersen and Sam Tuardi. This is the second episode in a three-part crossover series. On Friday, the 13th of August, 2021, we put on a live stream performance of this episode, and we'll be doing the same for the final installment. If you missed the live performance, you can watch a replay of the stream by supporting The Amelia Project or Forgive Me on Patreon. To become a patron of The Amelia Project, head over to patreon.com slash ameliapodcast. And to support forgive me,

make your way over to patreon.com slash rogue dialogue. The final live stream event for the third episode will be taking place on the 27th of August, 2021. We'll be back in your feed with the final episode of forgive Amelia, a triptych on the 2nd of September, 2021. See you then! Thank you to Sophia Anderson, Kate Sukiyasu, Sophie Leveso,

Jem Fiddick-Albin, Asant, Travis Curtin, Rushabh Shukla, Emily Harris, Stephanie Weitenhiller, Chloe Lefferman, Elizabeth Curry, Minson Such, Rafael Eduardo Vifas Verrastaki, and I Am Trash, without whom the Amelia Project would not be possible. The Fable and Falling Network, where fiction producers flourish. Hi Janie, what's up? do you hear that thunder where you are? Oh, yes. Amazing, isn't it? No, it's quite scary. Do you think there will be a terrible storm? No, darling. It's just an announcement from Thunder's Mouth Theatre.

You know, poetry, passion and philosophy, all that stuff. Oh, really? I thought they were producing audio fiction as a podcast nowadays. You know, like theatre, but on the air rather than on the stage. Am I old yet? No, Mum, of course you aren't. Don't be silly. I'm talking about the podcast. That's what it's called, Am I Old Yet? And it's more than three years old, and that is pretty old for an audio fiction podcast.

And no, I'm not being silly. For goodness sake, Janie, how old do you have to be before you can call yourself old? No, don't answer that. It's a rhetorical question. Just head over to amioldyet.com to listen to the podcast. Mum? Janie? Isn't that the one about us? Oh yes, didn't I say?