The Amelia Project - Introducing Red Valley

Episode Date: April 13, 2025

Today we're introducing you to a show by some fellow creators from the Fable & Folly network: Red Valley, a mystery drama about the limits of experimental science, confronting your own past, present & future, & trying to remember the level select cheat from Sonic 2. We're playing the first episode for you here, and if you're hooked, you can find the show wherever you listen to podcasts! You can also find out more at https://www.redvalleypod.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi everyone. This is Oistain, co-creator of The Emilia Project. Today we are introducing you to another show that I believe you are going to get hooked on pretty quick. That show is Red Valley. In the first episode of Red Valley we meet accountant Warren Gorby who is asked by his line manager to look into some numbers that just don't add up. Warren has just started working for this massive tech company and apparently they own a seed bank. Trying to learn more, Warren is sent on a wild goose chase from department to department

but no one wants to talk to him. An unsettling atmosphere creeps in and you quickly understand this is not about accounts not adding up, there is a much bigger, much more sinister mystery hiding under the surface. As the show progresses, Warren's own history begins to bleed into his work, forcing him to either confront or escape a difficult past. The show is also a science fiction story with moments of horror as Warren meets a disgruntled company archivist, Gordon Porlock, who shares chilling recordings of this mysterious research, whether Warren wants to hear them or not. And at the same time as all of that, it is also witty and tongue in cheek. If it's one thing I love, it's a clever and unique blend of genres. And Red Valley sits somewhere between John Carpenter's The Thing and Whitsnail and I.

Red Valley was featured and recommended by podcast Radio Hour on the BBC along with Midnight Burger which in and of itself is pretty brilliant accolades. And now is the perfect time to venture into the mysterious Red Valley as their fourth season has just finished releasing. So catch up with it all now before the final season hits. As a treat for you today, here is the very first episode, Tortoise. Enjoy! Red Valley is intended for mature audiences and contains scenes some listeners may find distressing. Please go to redvalleypod.com

for full content warnings on every episode. Do you want to continue? Is that it? Is it on? Wait, hang on a second. Wait. Yep, it's on. Okay. Okay. Go ahead. Wait, should we start this conversation again, or what? No, no, let's just carry on. This doesn't sound very formal to me.

Well, it isn't formal. It's private. I thought that was the point. What? I want you to take this seriously, okay? I do. I am. I want you to take this seriously, okay? I do. I am. I need you to. I promise you, I'm taking this seriously. Come on, you asked me to record it, I went and got your dictaphone. Go ahead, please. How much do you know about cryonic preservation?

Cryonic preservation. The preservation of human beings at extreme low temperature. You mean like Walt Disney? I swear to god if you say anything about Walt Disney's frozen fucking head I'm hanging up this phone right now. I'm going to be a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this.

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this.

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. Good afternoon, thanks for holding. You're looking to storage solutions, how can I help? Oh hi, I wonder if you can, I'm Warren Godby, I'm from accounts. Good afternoon Mr Godby, how can I help? Yes, I'm trying to find the department that looks after one of the company's facilities. Which facility would that be? It's a seed vault. Oh, what, sorry?

Yeah, it sounded weird to me too. A seed vault, I think it's like a cold storage thing for keeping emergency crop supplies. That doesn't sound like anything you have here. Oh, really? I thought storage solutions would be the right place No, try agrix solutions Agriculture

Good idea, well thanks Thank you Mr Godby, have a great afternoon, goodbye Goodbye Hello, agrix solutions, this is Tracy speaking, how can I help? Hello, my name is Warren Godby, I'm from accounts. I'm looking into a facility that we have on our books and I can't actually find the department it comes under. You can't find the department? No, it sounds dark doesn't it? What facility is it?

It's a SEA Vault storing seeds. I is it? It's a seed vault storing seeds. I was pointed towards you guys. Never heard of it. Oh, that is a shame. Is there anything else I can help you with today? Well, yeah, I really wouldn't mind speaking to- Mr. Jacobs is on annual leave till the 17th. Who is Mr. Jacobs?

Thank you for your call. Goodbye. Hey, well, can I actually- Is there really anything to say about this? A seed vault. What? Is that geographical science? No, this is bioscience. Sorry, do you have the extension for...

He wants to come in Wednesday. That's too long not to have a shower. That's all he can do. And he wants to do the cabinet doors. What's wrong with the cabinet doors? He wants to put those slow closing hinges on them, so they don't slam. Why? Do we slam them too loudly? I don't know. Are people complaining that we slam our cabinets too loudly? He cares it's his money. You're telling him the shower's broken and he wants to change the hinges on the bloody cabinets. He said it'll extend their lifespan. You alright there? The lifespan? I know, you're such a dick. I'm sorry Mr Landlord, how many slams have these cabinet doors had?

Two, three thousand? I'm sorry honey, we can't move in here, there's just been too many slams per cabinet. It's false economy. And there's no shower. And there's no shower. You took your pills this morning. Doug, hey. Warren, just checking in.

Yep it's good to hear from you. Are you having fun? I am, yeah it is a goose chase alright. No one's biting. I've been bounced around all day long, I've still got some more to follow up on. You're getting an idea of the size of the company now? It's ridiculous. I'm sorry, it is.

No, you're right, it is. I've never known anything like it. Welcome to asked to see you. Oh, er, hi. I didn't have an appointment booked in. Oh, I've never booked an appointment for you before. Oh, yeah, okay. Well, thanks Jenny. I... Oh, she's gone. Yeah, I'm glad it's not just me. What's that? Just, it seems really hard to talk to anyone around here.

Everyone's so occupied. Well, don't take it personally. Probably just worried you were here to streamline their department or close it down completely, something like that. Right. It's a shame there's such a reputation that goes with accounts. I would like to change that if I could. Are you new? Yes, three months in. Anyway I really don't want to take up much of your time so I'll just...

Anyway I've been around the houses a bit looking for something, an account obviously. I thought it was an ongoing project but I can't find a trace of it anywhere so I thought I'd try it yourselves in archives next. I know some departments get repurposed or maybe renamed so... right. What it is? Well I think it's a seed bank or a seed vault something like that. Like they have one up in Svalbard in Norway. Like an end of the world resource of all the essential crops and seeds and whatever. They call it a doomsday vault. I'm starting to feel like this is a practical joke. You're talking about the Red Valley Seed Vault?

Sorry, the what? How long did you say you've been with the company? Three months. Sorry, what's Red Valley? Is that a name or a place? Do you have a card I could take? Oh, yeah, yeah I do. You're actually the first person to ask for one of these. There you go, that's me. This is great, the Red Valley Seed Vault, right?

You've definitely never heard of it. This is the first time I've heard anything about it. It's just the usual, you know, loose ends and the budget review, and my line manager asked me to follow up on it. Your line manager? Er, Doug Holder. Nice guy. Red Valley was a small holding next to a very small mountain called Bay and Bag, affectionately

known as Bean Bag. Only, no one's got any affection for it, so we just called it ball bag. Ball bag? Yeah, indeed. You were there? You worked there yourself? No, I was just part of the redevelopment team. The land was snatched up by the government during the Cold War, and they built a small missile tracking base on it.

A tiny unit, skeleton crew. People had been throwing around the idea of an emergency crop resource in the event of a nuclear incident and as the site was already militarised and isolated they started working on a vault. Then the Cold War ended. And then I guess the money stopped? Yeah, it did. It stood empty until Overhead acquired the company that had built the vault for the government. They bought it out entirely.

And that's when I was put on the team to modernize the vault, to improve it to the highest standard. So why wasn't it finished? Well you tell me. Accounts swooped in and killed it before we ever got the plans approved. I'm sorry, I wish I hadn't answered for that. If you want to see, I've still got the file for those plans on my screen right here. Yeah, that would actually be great. Just come round here then.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's it. Just scoot round here. Here we go. This is just a bunch of adverts for tortoises? I know. I'm buying a tortoise. Why? Swear to me you've never heard of the Red Valley Seabolt until I just told you. What? Why?

Swear to me or we're gonna have a problem. I swear? You've never heard of it. I'm learning a lot today. You swear? I swear. You swear? Could you take your hand off my knee?

Look, Warren, if they're sending the butter wouldn't melt, uh, um, uh, new boy looking for Red Valley, it'll be for a reason. And not a happy touchy feely smiley reason. A creepy, suspicious, nasty one. Trust me. Look, Mr. Porlock, you've been really helpful. I'm very grateful. I said I wouldn't take up much of your valuable time and neither of us have blinked for about 30 seconds. So Shut your voice down. Are you recording this, Warren? Am I what? Recording this? You should be. I am.

You're recording this conversation. Right now. You bet I am. Right, this is very funny. this is a very fine joke. I'm sorry if accounts have treated you badly in the past. I'm not making fun of you, Warren. If I wanted to do that, I'd draw attention to your pubie beard and your little toddler hands. Oh, nice. I feel so much better now. Stationery is just down the corridor.

There's dictaphone in there. Go in and help yourself. I want you to tape every conversation you have now, Warren. You might need it. Righty-ho. Will do. I know how many are in there. I'll count them once you're gone. It's been wonderful meeting you, Mr. Pollock. Call me Gordon. I sure will.

Warren? Yes? Have you streamlined any other department yet? Um, yes. I did. A meat printing project. Meat printing? Yeah, like organic 3D printing. It was a terrible project. We closed the whole department. How did that feel? It was awful.

Don't get a tortoise. How did that feel? It was awful. Don't get a tortoise. Why not? They never love you back. You have three new messages. First new message received today at 1534 hours. Warren, I very much enjoyed our meeting this afternoon. Yeah, why? And I'd be happy to help. My mobile number is 0779664216. Who is this guy? 966-4-9-1-6 be you on the phone. It's funny actually. To listen again press 1. To save press message deleted. New message received today at 1618 hours. Playing this back in my mind I'm probably really creeping you out aren't I? I am sorry I don't get to talk

about this stuff very much. I'm sorry I pretended to be you on the phone to payroll and shouted at them to give me your address. Probably sounded weird when I just blurted that out in my last message. Anyway, call me when you get my package. I sent an overhead courier actually so you should pro- Hey. Hey, where are you? I got stuck on the M4, I'm sorry. I'm just past Newbury. What are you going to miss tea? I know, I'm sorry. Well there's a package for you. Korea delivered this a while ago. How the fuck did he do that? Who?

Don't worry, I've got some calls to make baby, but I'm really sorry. Okay, I'll see you when you're back. Warren Godby. Mr. Porlock. Gordon, please. Right. Gordon, it is. Did you get my package? I did. You got that here really fast.

The item wasn't with me. It was at a storage locker in a facility we have near Chepstow. Nearer to you than it was to me. No one knows what it is. It's just another box with another barcode on it. You've opened it? Yes, I have. It's an old dictaphone cassette. You haven't listened to it yet? No. I wanted to speak to you first. You know the voicemails you left me earlier? The whole getting my address thing?

Yes, yes, yes. I'm sorry about that. I just wanted to move quickly. Throw you right in, so to speak. Throw me into what? Are you recording this conversation? No. I... That is the one thing I asked you to do! If you're not being careful enough, even at this stage, I don't know if I want to take this any further. Gordon, the only purpose of my visit was to understand the use of our funds in and around a seed vault facility, Red Valley, whatever that is, to answer an inquiry from my line manager, Doug. This is all really-

Please turn on your recorder, hold it up to the phone, and record it. Fine. Hang on. You're alone. I take it. Sorry. Say that again. You're alone? Yes, it's late. My wife's in bed already. Is that it? Is it on? Wait, hang on a second.

Wait. Yep, it's on. Okay. Okay, Go ahead. Wait, should we start this conversation again, or what? No, no, let's just carry on. This doesn't sound very formal to me. Well, it isn't formal. It's private. I thought that was the point. Oh.

What? I want you to take this seriously, okay? I do. I am. I need you to. I promise you, I'm take this seriously, okay? I do. I am. I need you to. I promise you, I'm taking this seriously. Come on, you asked me to record it, I went and got your dictaphone. Go ahead, please. How much do you know about cryonic preservation?

Cryonic preservation? Um... I- I don't know, is that like cryogenics? No, no, it's not like that at all. Everyone knows the word cryogenics. That's not what this is. I mean, that is part of it. Maybe that's where it started. I don't know.

There isn't a cryogenics division anymore, I mean, that I know of. Who knows? Right. But cryogenics is not the term I'm trying to explain. Cryogenics deals with the production of extreme low temperature and the effects of those temperatures. I'm talking about cryonics and that deals very specifically with one thing. Okay. Human beings.

Human beings. The preservation of human beings at extreme low temperature. You mean like Walt Disney? I swear to God if you say anything about Walt Disney's frozen fucking head, I'm hanging up this phone right now. I don't know what you mean. Don't fucking laugh at me. I'm not laughing at you, I just don't know what you're trying to tell me. Fine. You want to save the backstory for later, we'll do it that way.

Some people have their bodies frozen at the point of death, in the hope that one day they can be brought back to life. A handful of very optimistic and very rich people. We own one of the companies that do that. Okay? Yes. Okay. That's all legal. That's all above board. People can spend their money on whatever they want. Liposuction, buy-to-rent housing, a national trust membership, fine. You want all your blood drained out in exchange for a cryoprotective compound

that will preserve your organs and tissues in the chance you might be resuscitated one day and live in the future. Be my guest. But no one wants to talk about how we get to that future, Warren. What are you talking about? These people imagine it will be like the movies. They'll wake up like Sigourney Weaver in Alien, peaceful in her little hypersleep pod, years from now looking fabulous. Some of them, they don't even want to wait till they die. That's much more grisly and complicated. They'd like to be frozen right now while they're fit and healthy, ready to see the future. But they're not interested in the cost. And I don't mean

money, Warren. Hard as that might be for someone like you to understand. Look Gordon. There's not a lot of seeds in the Red Valley seed vault Warren listen to the tape don't tell Doug Holder and record everything you do Red Valley was written by Jonathan Williams and directed by Alan Mandel and Jonathan Williams. All recording, editing, music and sound design by Richard Campbell at Orpheus Studio London with Carol Pestridge as creative consultant. Performances by Jonathan Williams, Alan Mandel, May Cunningham, John Cook Lynch, Carol Pestridge,

Chloe Gardiner, Richard Campbell, Neema Cass Hunt and Lee Bowers. For more information and content you can find us on social media at Red Valley Pod. If you like what you heard please rate, review and subscribe. Thanks so much for listening. Alvina, pick up! I have exciting news! We are faking a death, wait for it... in a lighthouse! A mysterious lighthouse keeper with a dark secret! And the only way to get there is by ship! We are performing our first ever full evening live show on the 31st of May 2025 in London on a boat!

Theatership is a cargo barge that has faked its death and adopted a new identity as a floating theatre, and we've written a brand new story especially for this unusual venue. It's a death-faking adventure on the high seas, featuring mythical sea creatures, pooping seagulls and shanties. The evening show is already sold out, but we've added a matinee. You can get your tickets for that now by going to AmeliaPodcast.com and clicking on the Amelia Project Live at Theatership. The boat has limited capacity, so book now to avoid disappointment. We look forward to welcoming you aboard.

Cargo ship, Alvina, by tomorrow. We're all going on a field trip. La di da da da, la di da da da da da, la di da di da gives you more laughs and fewer interruptions with ad free and bonus content for just four dollars a month. Sign up now at fableandfolly.com slash plus. Hi everyone this is Oistain co-creator of The Emilia Project. Today we are introducing you to another show that I believe you are going to get hooked on pretty quick. That show is Red Valley. In the first episode of Red Valley we meet accountant Warren Gorby who is asked by his line manager to look into some numbers that just don't add up. Warren has just started working for this massive tech company and apparently they own a seed bank. Trying to learn more, Warren is sent on a wild goose chase from

department to department but no one wants to talk to him. An unsettling atmosphere creeps in and you quickly understand this is not about accounts not adding up. There is a much bigger, much more sinister mystery hiding under the surface. As the show progresses, Warren's own history begins to bleed into his work, forcing him to either confront or escape a difficult past. The show is also a science fiction story with moments of horror as Warren meets a disgruntled company archivist Gordon Porlock who shares chilling recordings of this mysterious research whether Warren wants to hear them or not. And at the same time as all of that, it is also witty and tongue

in cheek. If it's one thing I love, it's a clever and unique blend of genres. And Red Valley sits somewhere between John Carpenter's The Thing and Whithnail and I. Red Valley was featured and recommended by podcast Radio Hour on the BBC along with Midnight Burger which in and of itself is pretty brilliant accolades. And now is the perfect time to venture into the mysterious Red Valley as their fourth season has just finished releasing. So, catch up with it all now before the final season hits. As a treat for you today, here is the very first episode, Tortoise. Wait. Yep, it's on.

Okay. Okay, go ahead. Wait, should we start this conversation again, or what? No, no, let's just carry on. This doesn't sound very formal to me. Well, it isn't formal. It's private. I thought that was the point.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. this conversation again, or what? No, no, let's just carry on. This doesn't sound very formal to me. Well, it isn't formal. It's private, I thought that was the point. What? I want you to take this seriously, okay? I do, I am.

I need you to. I promise you, I'm taking this seriously. Come on, you asked me to record it, I went and got your dictaphone. Go ahead, please. Come on, you asked me to record it, I went and got your Dictaphone. Go ahead, please. How much do you know about cryonic preservation?

Cryonic preservation. The preservation of human beings at extreme low temperature. You mean like, like Walt Disney- I swear to God, if you say anything about Walt Disney's frozen fucking head I'm hanging up if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this.

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. Good afternoon, thanks for holding. You'll through to Storage Solutions, how can I help? Oh, hi, I wonder if you can. I'm Warren Godby, I'm from Accounts. Good afternoon Mr. Godby, how can I help?

Yes, I'm trying to find the department that looks after one of the company's facilities. Which facility would that be? It's a Seed Vault. Oh, what sorry? Yeah, it sounded weird to me too. A seed vault? I think it's like a cold storage thing for keeping emergency crop supplies. That doesn't sound like anything we have here. Oh really? I thought storage solutions would be the right place. No try agri solutions. Agriculture. Good idea. Well thank you Mr. Godby. Have a great

afternoon. Goodbye. Good idea. Well, thanks. Thank you Mr. Godby. Have a great afternoon. Goodbye. Oh, goodbye. Hello, Agrix Solutions. This is Tracy speaking. How can I help? Hello, my name's Warren Godby. I'm from accounts. I'm looking into a facility that we have on our books and I can't actually find the department it comes under. You can't find the department? No, it sounds dark, doesn't it?

What facility is it? It's a Seavolt storing seeds. I was pointed towards you guys. Never heard of it. Oh, that is a shame. Is there anything else I can help you with today? Well, yeah, I really wouldn't mind speaking to- Mr Jacobs is on annual leave till the 17th.

Who is Mr Jacobs? Thank you for your call. Goodbye! Er, hey, well, can I actually, erm- Sorry, what did you say it was? A seed vault. What? Is that geographical science? No, this is bioscience.

Sorry, do you have the extension for- He wants to come in Wednesday. That's too long not to have a shower. That's all he can do. And he wants to do the cabinet doors. What's wrong with the cabinet doors? He wants to put those slow closing hinges on them so they don't slam. Why? Do we slam them too loudly? I don't know.

Are people complaining that we slam our cabinets too loudly? He cares, it's his money. You're telling him the shower's broken and he wants to change the hinges on the bloody cabinets. He said it'll extend their lifespan. You all right there? The lifespan? I know, he's such a dick. I'm sorry, Mr. Landlord,

how many slams have these cabinet doors had? Two, three thousand? I'm sorry, honey, we can't move in here. There's just been too many slams per cabinet. It's false economy. And there's no shower. And there's no shower. You took your pills this morning.

Shhh. (*phone ringing*) Doug! Hey! Warren! Just checking in. Yep, it's good to hear from you. Are you having fun? I am, yeah. It is a goose chase, all right. No one's biting.

I've been bounced around all day long I've still got some more to follow up on You're getting an idea of the size of the company now? It's ridiculous I'm sorry it is No you're right it is I've never known anything like it Welcome to Overhead

Keep digging overhead keep digging Gordon this is mr. Godby from accounts he's asked to see you oh hi I didn't have an appointment booked in. Oh, I've never booked an appointment for you before. Oh, yeah, okay. Well, thanks Jenny. I... Oh, she's gone. Yeah, I'm glad it's not just me. What's that? Just, it seems really hard to talk to anyone around here. Everyone's so occupied.

Well, don't take it personally. Probably just worried you were here to streamline their department or close it down completely, something like that. Right. It's a shame there's such a reputation that goes with accounts. I would like to change that if I could. Are you new? Yes. Three months in. Anyway, I really don't want to take up much of your time so I'll just... Anyway, I've been around the houses a bit

looking for something, an account obviously. I thought it was an ongoing project but I can't find a trace of it anywhere so I thought I'd try yourselves in archives next. I know some departments get repurposed or maybe renamed so... right. What it is? Well I think it's a seed bank or a seed vault, something like that. Like they have one up in Svalbard in Norway, like an end of the world resource of all the essential crops and seeds and whatever. They call it a doomsday vault. I'm starting to feel like this is a practical joke. You're talking about the Red Valley seed vault. Sorry, the what? How long did you say you've been with the company?

Three months. Sorry, what's Red Valley? Is that a name or a place? Do you have a card I could take? Oh, yeah, I do. You're actually the first person to ask for one of these. There you go, that's me. This is great, the Red Valley Seed Vault, right? You've definitely never heard of it. This is the first time I've heard anything about it.

It's just the usual loose ends and the budget review, and my line manager asked me to follow up on it. Your line manager? Doug Holder. Nice guy. Red Valley was a small holding next to a very small mountain called Bay and Bag. Affectionately known as Bean Bag. Only no one's got any affection for it so we just call it Ball Bag. Ball Bag? Yeah, indeed.

You were there? You worked there yourself? No, I was just part of the redevelopment team. The land was snatched up by the government during the Cold War and they built a small missile tracking base on it. A tiny unit, a skeleton crew. People had been throwing around the idea of an emergency crop resource in the event of a nuclear incident and as the site was already militarised and isolated,

they started working on a vault. Then the Cold War ended. And then I guess the money stopped? Yeah, it did. It stood empty until Overhead acquired the company that had built the vault for the government. They bought it out entirely. And that's when I was put on the team to modernise the vault to improve it to the highest standard. So why wasn't it finished?

Well, you tell me. Accounts swooped in and killed it before we ever got the plan to prove. I'm sorry, I wish I had an answer for that. If you want to see, I've still got the file for those plans on my screen right here. Yeah, that would actually be great. Just come round here then. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's it. Right. Just scoot round here then. Oh, er, yeah. Yeah, that's it. Just scoot round here.

Here we go. This is just a bunch of adverts for tortoises? I know. I'm buying a tortoise. Why? Swear to me you've never heard of the Red Valley Seabolt until I just told you. What? Why? Swear to me or we're gonna have a problem. I swear?

You've never heard of it. I'm learning a lot today. You swear? I swear. You swear? Could you take your hand off my knee? Look, Warren, if they're sending the butter wouldn't melt, uh, um, uh, new boy looking for Red Valley,

it'll be for a reason. And not a happy touchy feely smiley reason, a creepy, suspicious suspicious nasty one trust me look mr porlock you've been really helpful i'm very grateful i said i wouldn't take up much of your valuable time and neither of us have blinked for about 30 seconds so are you recording this warren am i what recording this you should I am. You're recording this conversation. Right now. You bet I am.

Right, this is very funny. This is a very fine joke. I'm sorry if the counts have treated you badly in the past. I'm not making fun of you, Warren. If I wanted to do that, I'd draw attention to your pubie beard and your little toddler hands. Oh, nice. I feel so much better now. Stationery is just down the corridor.

There's Dictaphone's in there, go in and help yourself. I want you to tape every conversation you have now, Warren. You might need it. Righty-ho, will do. I know how many are in there. I'll count them once you're gone. It's been wonderful meeting you, Mr. Polock. Call me Gordon. I'll count them once you're gone. It's been wonderful meeting you, Mr. Pollock. Call me Gordon.

I sure will. Warren? Yes? Have you streamlined any other department yet? Um, yes. I did. A meat printing project. Meat printing? Yeah, like organic 3D printing. It was a terrible project.

We closed the whole department. How did that feel? It was awful. Er... Don't get a tortoise. Why not? They never love you back. You have three new messages. First new message received today at 1534 hours.

Warren, I very much enjoyed our meeting this afternoon. Yeah, why? I'd be happy to help. My mobile number is 0779664916. Who is this guy? To listen again, message deleted. Next new message received today at 1615 hours. Hi, Warren. I'm sending you something. To your house. I hope you don't mind. I got your address from payroll. I just pretended to be

you on the phone. It was funny actually. To listen again, press 1. To save, press message deleted. New message received today at 1618 hours. Playing this back in my mind, I'm probably really creeping you out aren't I?

I am sorry I don't get to talk about this stuff very much. I'm sorry I pretended to be you on the phone to payroll and shouted at them to give me your address. Probably sounded weird when I just blurted that out in my last message. Anyway call me when you get my package. I sent an overhead courier actually, so you should pro- Hey. Hey, where are you? I got stuck on the M4, I'm sorry. I'm just past Newbury. Well you're going to miss tea. I know, I'm sorry.

Well there's a package for you. Courier delivered this a while ago. How the fuck did he do that? Who? Don't worry, I've got some calls to make, babe, but I'm really sorry. Okay, I'll see you when you're back. Warren Godby. Mr. Porlock. Gordon, please. Right.

Gordon, it is. Did you get my package? I did. You got that here really fast. The item wasn't with me. It was at a storage locker in a facility we have near Chepstow. Nearer to you than it was to me. No one knows what it is. It's just another box with another barcode on it. You've opened it?

Yes I have. It's an old dictaphone cassette. You haven't listened to it yet? No. I wanted to speak to you first. You know the voicemails you left me earlier, the whole getting my address thing? Yes, yes, yes, yes. I was worried about that. I just wanted to move quickly. Throw you right in so to speak. Throw me into what? Are you recording this conversation?

No, I... There's one thing I asked you to do. If you're not being careful enough, even at this stage, I don't know if I want to take this any further. Gordon, the only purpose of my visit was to understand the use of our funds in and around a seed vault facility, Red Valley, whatever that is, to answer an inquiry from my line manager, Doug. This is all really- Please turn on your recorder, hold it up to the phone, and record it.

Fine. Hang on. You're alone, I take it. Sorry, say that again. You're alone? Yes, it's late. My wife's in bed already. Is that it? Is it on? Wait, hang on a second. Wait. Yep, it's on.

Okay. Okay, go ahead. Wait, should we start this conversation again or what? No, no, let's just carry on. That doesn't sound very formal to me. Well, it isn't formal. It's private. I thought that was the point. What? I want you to take this seriously, okay?

I do. I am. I need you to. I promise you, I'm taking this seriously. Come on, you asked me to record it, I went and got your dictaphone. Go ahead, please. How much do you know about cryonic preservation? Cryonic preservation? Um, I don't know. Is that like cryogenics? No, no, it's not like that at all. Everyone knows the word cryogenics. That's not what this is. I mean, that is part of it. Maybe that's where it started. I don't know. There isn't a cryogenics

division anymore, I mean, that I know of. Who knows? Right. But cryogenics is not the term I'm trying to explain. Cryogenics deals with the production of extreme low temperature and the effects of those temperatures. I'm talking about cryonics and that deals very specifically with one thing Okay human beings Human beings the preservation of human beings at extreme low temperature You mean like like Walt Disney? I swear to God if you say anything about Walt Disney's frozen fucking head I'm hanging up this phone right now.

I don't know what you mean. Don't fucking laugh at me. I'm not laughing at you, I just don't know what you're trying to tell me. Fine. You want to save the backstory for later, we'll do it that way. Some people have their bodies frozen at the point of death, in the hope that one day, they can be brought back to life. A handful of very optimistic and very rich people. We own one of the companies that do that.

Okay? Yes, okay. That's all legal. That's all above board. People can spend their money on whatever they want. Liposuction, buy-to-rent housing, a national trust membership, fine. You want all your blood drained out in exchange for a cryoprotective compound that will preserve your organs and tissues in the chance you might be resuscitated one day and live in the future. Be my guest. But no one wants to talk about how we get to that future, Warren. What are you talking about?

These people imagine it will be like the movies. They'll wake up like Sigourney Weaver and Alien, peaceful in her little hypersleep pod, years from now looking fabulous. Some of them, they don't even want to wait till they die. That's much more grisly and complicated. They'd like to be frozen right now while they're fit and healthy, ready to see the future. But they're not interested in the cost. And I don't mean money, Warren.

Hard as that might be for someone like you to understand. Look, Gordon. There's not a lot of seeds in the Red Valley seed vault, Warren. Listen to the tape. Don't tell Doug Holder and record everything you do. Red Valley was written by Jonathan Williams and directed by Alan Mandel and Jonathan Williams. All recording, editing, music and sound design by Richard Campbell at Orpheus Studio London with Carol Pestridge as creative

consultant. Performances by Jonathan Williams, Alan Mandel, May Cunningham, John Cook Lynch, Carol Pestridge, Chloe Gardiner, Richard Campbell, Nima Cass Hunt and Lee Bowers. For more information and content you can find us on social media at Red Valley Pod. If you like what you heard please rate, review and subscribe. Thanks so much for listening. The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish. Looking for the ultimate online casino experience? Step into the BedMGM Casino app, where every deal, spin and goal brings Las Vegas excitement into the palm of your hand.

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