The Amelia Project - Introducing: The Order of Chaos with A K

Episode Date: April 8, 2026

Magic wasn’t meant to be shared. Someone shared it anyway. Now spells are whispered in the dark, monsters walk a little too close to civilization, thoughts aren’t private anymore, and an artificial intelligence knows things it was never programmed to know. A witch who bends reality. A wolf who can’t ignore the moon. A Dave who hears your thoughts. A vampire who drinks like there’s no tomorrow. A mustached agent trying to hold it all together, guided by a machine called S.A.M. The Order of Chaos with a K is a supernatural audio drama with new episodes every month. If you're a fan of The Amelia Project, we think you should give this show a whirl! Find it and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi everybody, this is Oistine, co-creator of the Amelia Project. We're in between seasons at the moment, and since you're waiting for new Amelia content anyway, this is a great time to check out some other shows. Today, I wanted to share with you a show that I recently discovered. It's called The Order of Chaos with a K. So, chaos is still spelled with C. Age, but the name of the show is the Order of Chaos with a K. It's a whole thing. Listen to the show, and it'll all make it.

sense, sort of. Now, if you love a gang of misfits, you're going to love this bunch of ill-adjusted, supernatural, and yet so, so desperately human characters. Cassius is a vampire who likes to wash his blood down with a glass of champagne. I mean, who can blame him? I know a certain interviewer who would love to share a glass of Vev-Clico with Cassius, although our friend would presumably skip the blood. Another notable aspect of Cassius is that he absolutely detests werewolves. Then there's Caden, who is a werewolf, and who loves being tickled behind the ears. There's also Dave Smith, who's a very, very ordinary guy.

Well, he's a telepath. But apart from that, he's very, very ordinary. I mean, he makes a mean pie, and it turns out he can rap about eggs. But apart from that, he's a very, very ordinary. And then there's Claire, who's a witch, and who reluctantly has to try to keep the other three guys in check. Good luck with that, Claire. These four get rather forcefully recruited by Special Agent Murphy, who wants them to team up and fight evil supernatural creatures. If only, they could stop bickering.

I normally hate the previously-on monologue. It's the most boring part of any show, right? I mean, get on with it. Where's the skip forward button? It's only matched in boringness by the end credits. But on this show, the previously on monologue and the end credits are two of my favorite moments. How come? Well, you'll just have to listen to discover that for yourself.

We're about to play the first episode, so there's no previously on monologue here. But once you're done with episode one, please head over to the Order of Chaos. with a Kay's own feed and listen to episode two and you'll discover what I mean. All I'll say is, as you know, I love a good meta moment. Once you're over on their feed, remember to hit subscribe. It's well worth it. Otherwise, you'll miss out on the time Dave accidentally signs them up for the Turner Quest. Or that time they all get drunk and Caden suddenly starts to sing.

Or that time they have to fight the suspicious guy sitting on the bench. if you don't think a guy sitting on a bench sounds suspicious or particularly suspenseful, what can I say? You clearly haven't listened to the show yet. The Order of Chaos with a K is a tongue-in-cheek and sometimes straight-up ridiculous show in the best possible way.

The storytelling is great, the actors are wonderful, the characters immediately take up a place in your heart apart from Special Agent Murphy, I'm really not sure about that guy, and Ulma Manzana who's created the show is a super talented actor, writer-director who's really worth watching in the audio drama space. And from emailing with him, I've also discovered he's the loveliest guy. So, do check out his brilliant creation.

We're about to play the very first episode of The Order of Chaos with a K and joy. Ooh, did I mention there are songs. There are songs. The show has songs. Love this show. What can I get you? Coffee, please. Cream, sugar?

No, thank you. No problem. What can I get you with it? What do you mean? You can't just order coffee. Says who? The sign over there. Where?

Over there on the wall. A minimum of $20 purchase per person while sitting and dining at the restaurant? No exception. So what can I get you? Who made this rule? The owner? It's a stupid rule. I agree.

I would like to talk to him. To the owner. Yes. Do you see him around here? What about a manager? Nope. Are you the only one here? Yep.

Why? Just look, I have more tables to get to. So please, can you just accept the fact that that's how it works here? And if you don't like it, that's fine. There's a great place across the street. They have much better food. and hours tell them Kate and sent you. Can I ask you a question? Sure. Do you like working here? No. I'll have the supreme breakfast, grumbled eggs and pancakes. It's 10.30 at night.

Why do I care? Great choice. Really? I don't know. I don't eat here. Are you on one of those special diets or something? Or something. Your order would be right up. How was your breakfast? Mmm. Mmm. Delicious.

Um, listen, I don't, I don't want to rush you or anything, but I'm the only one standing between you and going home? Yeah. There you go. That's a hundred dollar bill. Keep the change. It looks like you're just. You need it. What did you say?

Nothing. It just looks like you work hard. I look poor. That's what you're trying to say? That I look poor. That's not at all. I don't need your fucking money. Now it's two 50s.

Here's your change. I didn't mean... What the fuck are you anyway? Filled a little lonely in your shitty one-bedroom apartment and you decided to go out and find someone to fuck with? That's not what... Everybody's fucking high in this town. I was an orphan too, you know. Get out.

I'm just wrong. Get the fuck out. Okay. Can I at least pay for my dinner? It's on the fucking house, get out. The forest, trees, all around. And endless night, I see the stars. I breathe.

I should go for a run. Before I... Please put me down! You think I'm joking? I think it's broken. I can't hear anything. Let me try again. It's dumb.

A friend. A friend. I'm here to help you. How'd you know? You being a werewolf? We've been watching you for a while now, Kaden. Who's sweet? I'll explain everything on the way.

On the way. I'm not going anywhere. Friends don't bring snipers with them. They're not going to shoot you. But as you can see, it's better to just come with me. I'm not going anywhere. here. You can tell your friends to go ahead and shoot. I'm not scared. I know you're not. Look, kid. Don't call me, kid. Kaden, they are here just for safety. I was against it, but there are protocols. Who are you? I'm with the government. So you can't force me to do shit. I know my rights.

I'm afraid those rights don't apply here today in our special situation. This is what I call an off-the-record operation. What do you want from me? As I said, I want you to come with me. Can you? Can you let me up? Got your whistle. And now it's broken. I bet I can break your neck before they can take the shot. Then we both be dead. I don't care. You keep saying that, but I think you do. Otherwise, we would have been dead. Okay then. Let's go. Tech support, Kasia speaking. How may I help you today?

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear it. That must be awful. Let's fix it together, shall we? Here, let me try something. What about now? Does it work now? Still not working? not working? I see. Let me try something else, hmm? Can you hold for one second? Thank you so much.

Yes? Hello? I can come back another time if you're busy with a customer. No, no, no, no, no, that's okay. She's on hold. You know what? She'll call again later. What can I do for you, Mr. Murphy. Special Agent Murphy. Oh, Special Agent Murphy. Are you Cassius? Do I know you? I know you.

This is a bit unfair, wouldn't you say? Yes, I guess it is. What do you want? To have a little talk. Do you have some coffee? Sadly, my friend, I don't have any coffee. What's in your mug? Not coffee.

But you knew that already. Yes. One hundred fifty years ago, there was a woman in France. Isabel was her name. We shared a common interest. Isabel and I, we both liked flowers. Me? I had a garden full of beautiful flowers.

She? Well, she had none. My garden was very special to me, all the colors you could imagine, and the aroma. Mmm, hmm. Now, one day, Isabel thought it would be a good idea to enter my garden without permission and smell one of my flowers. A couple of moments later, when she was bleeding to death on the ground, She looked up at me with tears in her eyes asking, why? What I said.

What? You shouldn't have poked your nose where it doesn't belong. You smell like mold and shame. Maybe I should try a different perfume. Let me make you some coffee. Are you a vampire? Yes. Cassius, the vampire at your service.

Why are you asking stupid questions? That is why you're here, isn't it? I've just never met a vampire before. You sound disappointed. I thought you'd be a more... Pale? You thought I'd be more pale? Pale, yes.

Here's your coffee. Thank you. What? You think I put something in it, don't you? Don't be stupid? Why would I poison you? Boys and you. Waste of a good dinner. Well, an okay dinner. Why do you work here? What is this place anyway?

A technical support center. You are a vampire. Yes. And you work at a technical support center. You are very observant, Mr. Murphy. It's a little odd. That's all. And why is that? You can do anything you want. You're probably immortal.

Mr. Murphy, would you be? Care for another story? Sure. The rack was a wooden torture device with a roller at both ends. No one knows for sure who invented it. The victim's ankles were fastened to one roller and the wrists chained to the other. A handle and ratchet mechanism attached to the top roller was used to very gradually retract the chain. the chains, slowly increasing the strain on the victim's shoulders, hips, knees, and elbows,

pausing excruciating pain. This roller rotated on its own axis, straining the ropes until the joints were dislocated and eventually separated. My rack? My handle? Huh? The victims. You like to judge the past, but you're not any better. You just made the rack easier to use. Cassius, I have a proposition for you. Not interested. I want you to come with me.

No. There's something big happening, and as much as I hate to say it, we could use your help. Let me be perfectly clear, Mr. Murphy. You are an uninvited guest in my garden, and I've been more. than patient. We have her. You have who? Her. Take a look.

To Dave's Bakery. Food is great. Come to taste my pies. There is cherry and raspberry. I'm sorry. We don't open until 6. Please. You have to help me.

It's an emergency. What kind of an emergency? A pie emergency. Come in. Sorry about the mess. The smell is unbelievable. Thank you. Here. Try one. This is amazing. What's in it? If I tell you, I'll have to kill you.

It's good. Thank you. So, uh, how can I help you? Guess. Okay. You said it's a pie emergency. Yes. So you need pie. I need pie. Let me help you.

I'm thinking of a pie. I have a clear image of a pie in my mind. Now I'm sending it to your mind. Can you see it in your mind? Key lime pie. Apple. Apple pie. So close.

Not really. No. Not really. It's a shame. What? They said you could read minds. Who said that? People.

Don't believe everything you hear. Yeah, I guess you're right. Let me get you your apple pie. Have one here somewhere. There it is. Thank you, Chris. Dave. I'm sorry.

What did I say? Chris. Right. I'm so sorry. I meant Stephen. Stephen? What's wrong with me today? I meant Elijah or maybe Benjamin. Daniel? What about Oliver? I like Oliver. You go by many names, Dave. The place is surrounded. Now you're trying to read my mind to see who I am. It's not going to work. Why not? Call it a government secret.

Okay, I surrender. What is it? I have the right to remain silent. Anything I say. can and will be used against me. You're not under arrest. I'm not? You're not. So why are you here? I need your help. I can't help you.

I don't read minds anymore. It got me in a lot of trouble. I know. I saw your file. There's a file? A lot of different files and a lot of different states. How do you like Colorado so far? Too cold in the winter.

Yeah. What's your point, Mr. Murphy? Special Agent Murphy. It's pretty simple, really. You help me, and all those files and all those states disappear. Can you do that? Yes.

How do I know you're not bluffing? You have my word. I don't know you. You still have my word. It would be nice to go back to Hawaii. No cold winters in Hawaii. Okay. Okay, I'll help you. Fantastic.

Let's get going then. I'll explain everything later. What? Right now? I'm afraid so. I need to open the bakery. The customers will be here. Leave a note to that employee of yours. What's her name? Bethany. Yes, Bethany. Okay.

There you go. Mont Blanc? Do you know they make watches too? Yes, Dave. It's a Mont Blonde pen. Now, if you don't mind. Dear Beth, is that weird, Beth? Beth? Bethany? Dear Bethany. I have to go for a couple of days. No.

A couple of weeks? Years? A couple of years? For a while. Just say for a while. I have to go for a while. Please hold the fort. Yours with love, Dave. Okay. I'll just need a couple of minutes to turn everything off and lock up and I'll...

Someone will do it for you. Come on, let's go. Oh. Okay. After you. Hello, Claire. My name is Murphy. Special Agent Murphy. I have nothing to tell you.

I brought your spellbook with me. What did you say? Your spellbook. I don't know what you're talking about. Can we please? Just skip this part. I've had a very long week and you're the last person on the list. What do you want? The book won't open. I know.

We tried. Where is it? Right here. Why did you bring it here? And who are you? As I said, my name is Special Agent Murphy. I work for the government and I'm here to get you out of here. To get me out of prison. Yes. I've been sentenced to life.

Think about it as an early release for good behavior. Yesterday a girl took my yogurt so I burned her hair while she was asleep. Sounds like she deserved it. Half of her face looks like a burnt brisket now. She's blind in one eye. Don't touch a woman's yogurt. You're funny. Am I?

Yeah, you entertain me. I'm glad. So you show up here with my spellbook telling me that you're telling me that you're not. telling me that you can get me out of here. Today. Today. Let's say I believe you. What's in it for you?

Well... Oh! Oh, wait. Don't tell me. It's a sex thing, isn't it? What sex thing? I've heard about creeps like you. You're into... Oh, what do they call it?

Girls behind bars, fantasy something. I can assure you that I'm not... But how did you get my book? I... I... The police took it. So you had to steal it. No! You have a friend.

You have a friend who's a cop, and you heard about my case, and you convinced him to steal it for you. You caught me. What gave it away? The mustache. Only creeps have mustaches. Claire, you are a witch, correct? Guilty as charge.

You used to practice dark magic. Dark as the night's sky. Let's make a deal. I'm listening. You're going to walk away from here today as a free woman. But for a certain period of time, you will be working for me. After you're done, you'll start a new life in a new place with all your needs taken care of for the rest of your life.

How's that sound? To be honest, too good to be true. Sometimes it's just... Do we have a deal? We have a deal. You don't like the mustache, really? I'll help you shave it. I'm not shaving my mustache.

Ill, isn't it? Now, Claire, I'm sure you thought of running away had crossed your mind, but I can assure you... A deal is a deal. What do we do now? Now, all I want you to do is to get in this car. I'm going to meet you and the others in a couple of days and explain everything. The others. You mentioned that before.

You said there were other people on your list? Are the witches? Not exactly. So what are they? All will be revealed in time. I want to know where I'm going. You will be taken to a temporary facility, and in a couple of days, when conditions are right,

you will be transferred to a permanent location where you will meet the others. The spellbook? I want my spellbook. Now, Claire, I want to remind you that you can go back to prison any time. So if you try anything... A deal is a deal.

The book. There you go. Ascendio no more se diemi, see how do weme? Hello? Is anyone here? Guess not? Oh, ho ho, what have we here? Help yourself. Don't mind if I do.

Don't perignon. How did they know? Oh, hi. I'm Cassius. The pleasure is yours. Cassius. Well, I'm Dave. Dave Smith. Dave Smith? Yes, sir. What kind of a name is Dave Smith?

That's my name. It's so generic. I guess. What are you doing here, Mr. Smith? To be honest, I'm not sure. A couple of days ago, this guy came to my bakery, Agent. Mercy something? Murphy. Special agent, Murphy.

Yes, Murphy. He offered me a job, and I took it. What kind of a job? I don't know yet. Let me get this straight, Dave. You came here to the middle of the woods, in the middle of nowhere, to this cabin in the middle of the woods, in the middle of nowhere, Just because some guy named Murphy came to your bakery and offered you a job?

Pretty much, yeah. Hmm, care for a drink? Well, thank you, but I don't drink. Are you a friend of Bill, Mr. Smith? Who's Bill? Are you a recovering alcoholic? Oh, no. I'm just, I don't like the taste of it.

You don't like the taste of it? Why are you pouring two? glasses. I appreciate the concern, but I really don't. You really don't drink. I've heard you. You are Dave Smith. Dave Smith, who came to this cabin in the middle of the woods, in the middle of nowhere, just because some guy named Murphy came to his bakery and offered him a job, and he doesn't drink. The second drink, Dave, is for my left hand. What's up, bitches? Is that for me?

And you are? Blair is the name. Don't wear it out. Nice to meet you, Claire. I'm Dave. This is... Uh... Dave. Really? I'm sorry. You have such a weird name. It's hard to remember.

Well, not all of us had the good fortune to be born with a name such as Dave Smith. Cassius, pleasure. A vampire. Yes, I'm afraid so. And you are... A witch. Wait, what? Yes, Dave Smith.

A vampire? A witch. Please keep up. Are you really a vampire? Holy shit! Our father, who are in heaven, hallow be thy name. First, vampire encounter.

First, vampire, encounter. Give us to stay our daily bread. Forgive us our child. How does a witch and a vampire end up in a cabin in the middle of nowhere? Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke. I love bad joke. You want to hear one? Please.

A priest, a rabbi, and a vampire walk into a bar. Murphy! Are we all met? Pat. What? Shakespeare, dear. Are we all here? The three of us are here.

I can see that, but where is... Sorry, I'm late. Please join us. He smells like a wet dog. What happened to your eye? Complications. What's your name, kid? Caden and don't call me kid.

Not a kid. No. Looks like the cat dragged in. A dirty little wolf. A wolf, Murphy. Really? What? A wolf, Dave Smith.

A were wolf. His wolf can bite. If you want to bite, bite. Don't talk. Okay, you two, calm down. Let's all take a seat. We have a lot to talk about. Okay, Murphy, you brought us all here. I think you owe us an explanation. A couple of weeks ago, a, for the lack of a better term, a portal appeared. No one knows how or what caused it. We just know that it was there. A portal. Yes, a portal. Or a gate.

to the other side. First it appeared in a small town in Arizona. Endless phone calls to the local police station about terrifying tree-looking men. Tree-looking men that shoot vines from their hands. Vines! They labeled it as a prank, but with more and more phone calls coming in,

they sent someone to investigate. What did they find? A forest. A forest appeared out of nowhere. It took them days to get to the town. The calls stopped coming in. When they got there, there was no one left to be saved. This portal moves around, and every time it appears,

something crosses over from the other side. A couple of days later, another wave of phone calls, this time in North Carolina. We got there in time, but we couldn't stop that. We're fine people? Just people dancing. That's not so bad. When we got there,

had already been dancing for days. No food, no water, no sleep. There were bodies on the ground. Dance themselves to death. The dancing people were in a trance, jumping over the bodies like it was part of the dance. Every couple of days, a different place, a different time, a different phenomenon. And then the strangest thing of all, we can't find the portal. Do you mean you can't find the portal? We can't find it. We just know that it's there, or was there. We managed to build a device that can detect the energy that the portal leaves behind.

But it's not perfect. Most of the time the information is incomplete, and it takes time to analyze the data, like trying to solve a puzzle without a picture. picture, blank pieces that fit together just because of their shape. By the time we figure out where the energy came from, the portal is long gone and something has already crossed the other side and mess things up. We need someone to fight them. Us?

You're not human. These creatures are not human either. Our research led us to you, the four of you. My job was to find you and form this group. You will go to these places and fight the creatures that cross from the other side and maybe even eventually stop the portal. This is the best solution you come up with? A vampire. A witch? A dog. And Dave?

You'll stay here in this cabin until you get your... first assignment. There is a guidebook in the kitchen. It has all the information you need. Some house rules, if you will. Your bedrooms are designed to match your unique personalities. Closed this town is 30 minutes away. There are directions in the guidebook. You may go there for supplies or in a case of emergency. If anyone asks you who you are, you are a group of riders, renting a cabin in the woods. You're here to work on your next movie and you needed a place with some peace and quiet for inspiration.

So, are you in or out? I'm in. Not what I expected, but I'm in. You're saying that there is a portal showing up in random places and you want us to go to those places and fight God knows what. And I'm sitting here with a vampire, a werewolf, and a witch, you said? A witch, yes.

And a witch. Thank you for the recap, Dave Smith. In or out. In. I'm in. So am I. You have Don Pernion. Caden? I'm out.

You're out? I'm out? Well, the three of us are in. I'm afraid that's not how it works. I think it's time for another glass. Cheers. I'll go and try to... No, it's okay. I'll go. It's raining.

I'm not going back in there. Look. I get it. A week ago, if you would have told me that I'd be sitting in the forest, talking to a werewolf, and trying to convince him to join my team and fight fine people, with me and my two new friends, the vampire and the witch, they would call you crazy. Do your parents know you're here? I'm 20.

The question still remains. I don't. I don't have. I'm sorry to hear that. Any other family? No. Friends? No.

What do you do? Where do you live? L.A. A werewolf in L.A. I always thought that town was full of monsters. Not that I'm calling you a monster. What I meant is that other people. Other people.

Other people are monsters, not a werewolf. What a... Wow! So interesting! What's so interesting about it? Like, I don't know. Like, do you have a tail? Do I have a tail?

I... What are you exactly? You smell... ...difference? But I can't put my finger on it. You can't put your... Paul on it, am I right? A mind reader.

You can read minds? Yes. What number am I thinking of? Four. Now, 32, 15, 112, 3,609, 003.

Wow. Yeah. That's kinda cool. It can be. It can be. Yeah? So you can just hear what people think all the time? Nah, I control it now. I block it most of the time.

Why would you want to block it? You would be surprised how many people don't like you in their minds. But never say it out loud. Sometimes it's better not to know. I can't promise you anything. but and I hope I'm not crossing a line here

sounds like you don't have anywhere else to go why don't you just give it a try who knows maybe you'll like it I like this forest it's um it's quiet

yeah it's so green yeah so I said, Marie, darling, just let them eat cake. I'm not responsible for what happened next. Remind me to never ask for your advice. Dave, did you take our little pet for a walk? I'm in. Wonderful. Well, I'll leave you to it. We will talk soon. Good luck to you all. I have a feeling this is the beginning

of a wonderful friendship. So now what? I don't know about you, but I don't know about you, but I I can't wait to see what a room that matches my unique personality looks like. Wait. We need to come up with a name. A name for our group? That's a stupid idea. What about the Fantastic Four? I'm afraid that one's already taken.

What about a council of crises? Cassius and friends. The mysterious adventurers. The order of chaos. The Order of Chaos. I like that. I'm afraid that that one is also taken. That's a shame.

I like it. Works on so many levels. Yeah. With a K. We'll be the Order of Chaos with a K. The Order of Chaos? You want to replace the C with a K? No.

The Order of Chaos with a K. A K. That's the name. The Order of Chaos with a K. It's brilliant. It's the dumbest thing I've ever. I love it. So it's settled then.

The Order of Chaos with a K. Okay, boys. I think I'm going to check out my personality room. personality room. I'll see you in the morning. By the way, I'm going to cast a spell on the door knob, so unless you want your fingers to fall off, I wouldn't try to touch it. I think I'll go to bed too. It's way past my bedtime. Have a good night. Wolves are smart. They don't just attack their prey. They wait. They watch. And then, when you least expected...

BAM! Good night. We are born, we cry that we are coming to this great stage of fools. King Lear, Act 4. Scene 6. Thank you for listening to The Order of Chaos. With a K! With a K! The show was written and created by Omar Monsano.

Written and created are the same thing. Why would you say written and created? Just say written. It's a thing people say. Nobody says that. Join us next week for a whole new adventure. Why are we letting the dog do the after credits? Can I please?

I want to do the after credit. I'm doing it. You can listen to us on Spotify or on Apple Music. Or in your mind. Or in your mind. And don't forget to follow us and check our patron page. Finish it, it's too long. And download the episodes to your device.

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