The Antiquarium of Sinister Happenings - Lot 013 : There’s Something Really Weird Happening With My Local News Channel // Pale Luna

Episode Date: September 28, 2023

Two television news anchors harbor a disturbing message and unearth a rare computer program that has haunted gamers for decades.There’s Something Really Weird Happening With My Local News Channel - Written by Moe T.Stars Conan Freeman, David Dastmalchian, Leah KilpatrickPale Luna - Written by Mikhail HonoridezStarts Gwyneth GloverFeaturing Stephen Knowles as the Antique DealerTheme music by The Newton BrothersAdditional music:Late Night Country Road by Tim KuligFree download: https://filmmusic.io/song/8491-late-night-country-roadLicensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-licenseScp X3x (I Am Not OK) by Kevin MacLeodFree download: https://filmmusic.io/song/6733-scp-x3x-i-am-not-okLicensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-licenseFalling From His Graces by Tim KuligFree download: https://filmmusic.io/song/9827-falling-from-his-gracesLicensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-licenseDesolate by Otis GallowayFree download: https://filmmusic.io/song/11016-desolateLicensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-licenseAlone Ambience by Tim KuligFree download: https://filmmusic.io/song/8571-alone-ambienceLicensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-licenseHalloween Theme 1 by Alexander NakaradaFree download: https://filmmusic.io/song/4735-halloween-theme-1Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-licenseMortician's Hat Trick by Tim KuligFree download: https://filmmusic.io/song/8493-morticians-hat-trickLicensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-licenseLost Place Atmospheres 001 by Sascha EndeFree download: https://filmmusic.io/song/7664-lost-place-atmospheres-001Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-licenseThey're Coming by Tim KuligFree download: https://filmmusic.io/song/8494-theyre-comingLicensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-licenseCO.AG ([e-mail]) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hello, friend. Wow, has the wind ever picked up today? If this place wasn't bolted to the foundation, we'd surely have blown away at this point. What brings you into the shop today? Ah, thinking of getting into podcasting. People keep talking about those, and I have yet to listen to one. So, you're looking for sound equipment of some kind.

Hmm. How about this microphone? It's from a local TV station in a town that... Well, I'll let them give you the update, along with a look at the latest weather and sports in... There's something really weird happening with my local news channel. Welcome to the antiquarium of sinister happenings and odd goings on. There's something really weird happening.

with my local news channel. I'm one of those dinosaurs that still uses cable. Please, spare me your judgment. I like having our town's local news playing in the background. It's occasionally informative, but more often than not, the headlines are light. In such an eventful and politically charged time, it's nice to give my brain a break

by switching to a channel where half the stories are about old animals celebrating their birthdays, traffic in the area, and upcoming fireworks celebrations. tonight, for the most part, hadn't been much different. The anchors, Michael and Priya, were their usual selves. Some banters, some very boring headlines, and then I cut to What's Her Name on the street doing interviews about I forget and not really important.

So you can probably imagine I had to do a double take when Michael casually dropped the following headline. And in breaking news, residents of our county have been asked to close their windows, pull back their curtains, and stay indoors. Apparently, there's been some sort of chemical leak at a nearby plant, so locals are being asked to take precautions. This request is coming from the municipal government. As this is breaking news, we are currently waiting for information on exactly what took place at the plant. And of course, just how dangerous this all might be. What?

Some sort of chemical spill in our area was a pretty damn big deal. It was strange to see the report delivered so nonchalantly from the anchors. I googled my town and the world. Spill or leak or hazard and nothing came up. I switched stations to more mainstream news channels, CNN, but nothing about this was being covered there either. I figured maybe this wasn't such a big deal. Or it was too new for anything outside local media to report on just yet. And so I went back to scrolling on my laptop while the news continued to play in the background.

Half an hour passed as the anchor cycled through some more generic headlines. Then, a quick reminder delivered by Michael. And a notice to residents of our local county. Due to a chemical spill that is being reported in the area, residents have been strongly advised to stay indoors, close their windows, and shut their blinds. We have been told that this chemical leak is extremely dangerous. Residents are advised to head inside immediately.

There is a risk of death if you are exposed to the chemicals for a prolonged period. Giving it a little bit of thought. A lack of news articles about this on the web put a weird feeling in my stomach. Was this story being suppressed? Flipping through other news stations again, there was no mention of the story. Nothing on the news tickers either. Nata. I had to center myself and give myself a quick reality check.

My middle of nowhere town wasn't important to anyone other than my local news station or the thousands or so who lived here. Still, in my curiosity, I got up. from my comfortable spot on the sofa and peeked through a small sliver between my living room blinds. Nothing out of the ordinary. Cars in their driveways. Most of the lights in the nearby houses were off. It's midnight here. A couple of solitary bedroom lights on pretty much tame. All in all, I sat back down. This was probably the most tuned in I had ever been to the news. to my surprise some really strange banter

between Michael and Priya was playing out I almost wonder if we're safe in here what you think this building isn't safe and that they'd have us deliver news about a leak that were susceptible to Michael laughed big laughs he looked at a piece of paper in his hands

I heard I heard it was actually a spill from a tree A train, not a power plant. Is that so? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, guys. We've got to find the levity.

We've got to find the levity. Got to find the levity in stressful moments like this. Hope you're all staying safe, inside, curtains closed, windows locked. Remember, this is breaking news. You're hearing it here first. Stay inside. Stay safe. Tagged Michael, pointing to the camera.

We'll give you more detail. as they come in. You're saying it was from a train now? I peaked outside again. Strange. Most of the lights were off, but some my neighbor's cars were missing. I saw family only a few houses down,

loading into their car and immediately driving off. Was it safer to leave town? Did they just get exposed to the chemicals? It was hard not to ruminate. Hard not to keep Googling, switching to other news stations. texting my only close friends who lived in the area. No updates, nothing of substance.

Back to the local news. They were covering another story of little importance. My eyes lazily lowered to the news ticker at the bottom of the screen. Between headlines about boring local happenings and Ariana Grande for some reason, I saw the following line. They are lying. Run now. Almost as a media.

as I saw it. It was scrubbed, like it had never been there in the first place. Did I imagine that? Before I could ruminate, Priya got up from her desk. And Priya's rapping for the evening. I'm done for the evening.

She affirmed. She walked off set. Michael sat there, smiling at the camera. This continued uninterrupted for, I shit you not, 30 seconds. Then,

a cut to some sort of, sort of CCTV footage angle of a parking lot. It continued for a few seconds until Priya walked into frame, pressed a button on our keys, and opened the door to her car. Then, another cut. A poor quality zoom in on the moon. Not a full moon, mind you. It was partially obscured. I think the stage is called waxing gibbis, waning gibbis, maybe. Doesn't matter. 30 seconds of this, a shaky camera, and then another cut. The camera was back at the parking lot. Priya and her car were gone.

All the cars in the parking lot were gone, actually. And then we were back with Michael. What the fuck? Michael went to the next story. Coming up next, this former circus bear is celebrating his 18th birthday. Only this time, this birthday comes with a dash of newfound freedom. We'll show you the heartwarming story of Binky and how he's injew. enjoying his new life in the sun.

Michael chuckled as he delivered this headline before the channel went to commercials. Fresh off another unsuccessful Google search, I parted my blinds and looked outside once again. Nearly all the cars in my vicinity were gone. Fuck was happening. The noise from the TV transitioned back to the distinctive tones of the local news channel.

That must have been like a 10-second commercial break. Thank you for joining us this evening. This is Michael. Signing off. Bye-bye now. Stay indoors. Stay safe. Close your windows. Inside now. All right? Backed away from the window and caught the last leg of Michael's broadcast. He'd gotten up from the desk and walked over to the camera. An absurdly big smile on his face. Smiling with his eyes too. Joyful. Then, without hesitation, he softly picked up the camera while giggling. and moved it to the left to expand the frame beyond the anchor desk and the small set that he and Priya were on. Beyond the set, there was nothing.

It was a black void. He then turned the camera all the way to the right, past the anchor desk and the set again. Nothing. Another endless black void. He then re-centered the camera back to face the desk, but the void beyond the set was still partially visible. He kept eye contact with the camera for a few more seconds, and then step to the side and out of frame. Do I run?

What the fuck do I do? What is this? Whispers came from the TV. Michael's voice. Quiet this time. You're doing great. He whispered as if he were beside the camera. He did to run.

And hey, because I like you, I had a little tip. He likes it when you stand in front of the bathroom mirror. He likes it. Just stand still in front of the mirror, won't you? Stay put? He'll come get you soon. You did great. You'll be here with us.

Soon. Channel cut to commercials right after that. A few seconds of stillness and then heard a rattling from my bathroom down the hallway. I froze in fear, hoping the sound would go away. Instead, I got louder. and more aggressive. It was the sound of something crackling, fracturing.

As I made a break for it, I heard my bathroom mirror shatter. Immediately I raced down the stairs to my front door. As I did, I heard the generic commercial on my TV say the following line. The all-new, cozy comfort cushions. So cozy, you want to stay put, because the best place to be is right where you are. I unlock my door as the audio from the commercial started. warping. Stay put. Be right where you are. Don't leave. As I swung the door open and prepared to run to my car, I felt something grabbed the back of my shirt, pulling me back in, both light and like the heaviest thing

I'd ever felt. Power in me came from to escape its grasp, but as I writhed and fought with all of my might. I was able to break free from its hold, run to my car and drive off, not taking a single moment to look back at whatever was trying to pull me in. I've been driving for a few hours now, texted a few friends, and I'm doing everything in my power to make sense of the inexplicable events that have taken place this evening. The fact that my GPS and my car keeps rerouting to the broadcast studio of my local news network isn't helping. I do apologize. Eyes but a delivery just arrived here at the shop, and I need to sign for it. Sit tight, and I'll be back quicker than a rat up a drain pipe.

That wasn't so bad, was it? Let's glide back into this nightmare, shall we? In the last decade and a half, it's become infinitely easier to obtain exactly what you're looking for by way of a couple of keystrokes. The Internet has made it all too simple to use a computer to change reality. An abundance of information is merely a search engine away, to the point where it's hard to imagine life is any different. Yet, a generation ago, when the words streaming and torrent were meaningless, save for conversations about water, people met face-to-face to conduct software swap parties, trading games and applications on Sharpie-labeled 5-a-quarter-inch floppies.

Of course, most of the time the meats were away for frugal, community-minded individuals to trade popular games like King's Quest and Maniac Mansion amongst themselves. However, a few early programming talents designed their own computer games to share amongst their circle of acquaintances, who, in turn, would pass it on until, if fun and well-designed enough, an independently developed game had its place in the collection of aficionados across the country. Think of it as the 80s equivalent of a viral video. Pale Luna, on the other hand, was never circulated outside of the San Francisco Bay area. All known copies have been long disposed of.

All computers that have ever run the game, now detritus, buried under layers of filth and polystyrene. This fact is attributed to a number of rather abstruse design choices made by its programmer. Pale Luna was a text adventure in the vein of Zork and the lurking horror, at a time when said genre was swiftly going out of fashion. Upon booting the program, the player was presented with a screen almost completely blank, except for the text, you are in a dark room. Moonlight shines through the window. There is gold in the corner, along with a shovel and a rope.

There is a door to the east. Command? So began the game that one writer, for a long, out-of-print fanzine, decried as enigmatic, nonsensical, and completely unplayable. as the only commands that the game would accept were pick up gold, pick up shovel, pick up rope, open door, and go east. The player was soon presented with the following. Reap your reward.

Pale Luna smiles at you. You are in a forest. There are paths to the north, west, and east. Command? What quickly infuriated the few who've played the game, was the confusing and buggy nature of the second screen onward. Only one of the directional decisions would be the correct one. For example, on this occasion, a command to go in a direction other than north

would lead to the system freezing, requiring the operator to hard reboot the entire computer. Further, any subsequent screens seem to merely repeat the above text, with the difference being only the directions available. Worse still, the standard screen. text adventure commands appeared to be useless. The only accepted non-movement-related prompts were use gold, which caused the game to display the message, not here. Use shovel, which brought up, not now. And use rope, which prompted the text, you've already used this. Most who played the game progressed a couple of screens into it before becoming fed up by having to constantly reboot and tossing

the disc in disgust, writing off the experience as a shoddly programmed farce. However, there is one thing about the world of computers that remains true, no matter the era. Some people who use them have way too much time on their hands. A young man, by the name of Michael Nevins, decided to see if there was more to pay a Luna than when met the eye. Five hours and 33 screens worth of trial and error and unplugged computer records later, Later, he finally managed to make the game display different text. The text in this new area read,

Pale Luna smiles wide. There are no paths. Pale Luna smiles wide. The ground is soft. Pale Luna smiles wide here. Command? It was another hour still before Nevin stumbled upon the proper combination of phrases to make the game progress any further.

Big hole, drop gold. Then, fill hole. This caused the screen to display, Congratulations. 40.248, 121.4434. Upon which, the game ceased to accept commands, requiring the user to reboot one last time.

After some deliberation, Nevins came to the conclusion that the numbers referred to lines of latitude, and longitude. The coordinates led to a point in the sprawling forest that dominated the nearby Lassan volcanic park.

As he possessed much more free time than sense, Nevin's vowed to see Pale Luna through to its ending. The next day, armed with a map, a compass, and a shovel,

he navigated the park's trails, noting with amusement how each turn he made corresponded roughly to those that he took in game. Though he initially regretted bringing the cumbersome digging tool on a mere hunch, the path's similarity all but confirmed

his suspicions that the journey would end with him face to face with an eccentric's buried treasure. Out of breath after a tricky struggle to the coordinates, he was pleasantly surprised by a literal stumble upon a patch of uneven dirt. Shoveling as excitedly as he was, it would be an understatement to say that he was taken aback when his heavy strokes unearthed the badly decomposed. posing head of a blonde-haired little girl. Nevins promptly reported the situation to the authorities. The girl was identified as Karen Paulson, 11, reported as missing to the San Diego Police Department a year and a half prior.

Efforts were made to track down the programmer of Pale Luna, but the nearly anonymous legal gray area in which the software-swapping community operated, inescapably led to many dead ends. Collectors have been known to offer upwards of six figures for an authentic copy of the game. The rest of Karen's body was never found.

Thank you for your patronage. Hope you enjoyed your new relic as much as I've enjoyed passing along its sordid history. It does come with our usual warning, however. Absolutely no refunds, no exchanges, and we won't be held liable for anything that may or may not occur while the object is in your possession.

Oh, you think just because you're only listening to my voice that you have nothing to be concerned about? Let me assure you that your visit to the antiquarium, whether in the flesh or in your mind's eye is most certain. Only not in vain. You are the architect of this place. I must say you've done a hell of a job. Even the way you have given me a face and carved out the most minute details of my person in that cerebrum of yours is quite impressive indeed. Therefore, the items you procure within these walls, even on a metaphysical level, are very, very very

real and are now and forever part of your subconscious. All part of our standard bill of sale, really? Till next time, we'll be waiting for you whenever you close your eyes in the space between sleep and dream. During regular business hours, of course, or by appointment, only for you, our best customer. You have a good night now. The Antiquarium of Sinister Happenings, Lot 013, Pale Luna,

written by Mikhail Onerides, narrated by Gwyneth Glover. There's something really weird happening with my local news channel, written by Mo T, featuring Conan Freeman as the narrator, David Dasmalkin as Michael, Leah Kilpatrick as Priya, Stephen Knowles as the antique dealer. Additional music by Tim Kulig, Kevin McLeod, Otis Galloway, Alexander Nakarata, Sasha End, and Coag.

Theme music by the Newton Brothers. Engineering production and sound design by Trevor Shand. The Antiquarium of Sinister Happenings is created and curated by Trevor and Lauren Shand. Theme music by the music by the music. the Newton brothers. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at Antiquarium Pod. Call the Antiquarium at 646-481-7197.