The Antiquarium of Sinister Happenings - Lot 026: What’s In A Name // An Old Woman Thinks She Has Summoned Me

Episode Date: December 29, 2023

A down on his luck magician pays a visit to the Antiquarium in search of a new stage prop, followed by the disturbing incident of a woman who invokes a royally strange and unexpected house guest.What���s In A NameWritten by Stephen KnowlesNarrated by Bruce AbelsRay Adams as JonStephen Knowles as TomAn Old Woman Thinks She Has Summoned MeWritten by ShortStory 1Narrated by Trevor ShandKrsy Fox as The Old WomanFeaturing Stephen Knowles as the Antique DealerTheme music by The Newton BrothersAdditional music by:CO.AG ([e-mail]) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ah, my friend, thank you for always thinking to stop by to say hello, and a very happy New Year to you. So, make any New Year's resolutions? I would advise maybe to quell your habit of dabbling so deep into the darkness. You might not have noticed it, but you have certainly changed since you discovered this place. Not that I don't appreciate the company. I'm just concerned about you is all. The shop has an odd way of taking over certain parts of the mind, which brings us to today's relic.

This worn and weary black leather case come in from an estate sale. The only way to open it is to say the magic words. I'm just pulling your chain. This is a piece of pressed digitation I call What's in a Name? Welcome to the antiquarium of sinister happenings and odd goings on. And who has dedicated his life to magic, the world is a hard place, full of harsh realities.

John Roberts is looking to reinvent himself. Having scratched out a living doing card tricks at birthday parties in bar mitzvahs, he has a new manager. He's working on a new act, and he's looking for a new name. We've already been over this. John Roberts is a terrible stage name for a magician. Plus, I'm tired of that stupid joke. We got a room named after you.

I need something with pizzazz, not something that sounds like an accountant. Okay, okay, I get it. Yes, I have a middle name, but Eugene isn't going to cut it either. I don't know, something like Houdini or David Copperfield. No, that's not his real name. as someone once said, my name is more important than myself. Huh? No, well, I don't know who said that.

I'm out antique shopping. My grandmother is dead. Thank you very much. I'm looking for props, old weird things that have a magical look to them. Something I can work into the act. I don't know. I'll know it when I see it. Well, hello there, young man.

Welcome. What brings you to my life? establishment today. Yeah, I'm looking for something magic related, or something that looks like it could be magical. Well, I have this antique ventriloquist doll. Actually, the term is ventriloquist figure, not a doll. Although that one you might want to call a ventriloquist toy, because that was, that was not made for a performer. That was made for a child to learn how, to take a punch to the face. My apology, sir, I do have this antique Ouija board. Uh, once again, not interested in toys.

You know, never mind. I'll look so where else. Rather frustrated, John turns and begins to leave the shop when something near the front door catches his eye. It's a black leather case, the size of a large toolbox. It appears to be made of some sort of exotic animal hide and is marked with arcane symbols. Wait, wait a minute.

What is, uh, what's to do with this box? That would make a really cool prop case. Ah, that came in recently from an estate sale. I don't know that it would make a good case for you to carry other things in, as it is already quite full. Full? Full of what? Oh, various odds and ends. Open it up. Take a look.

John picks up the case, turning in his hands to admire the exterior. He places it on the counter and opens it. Inside, he finds an array of strange. items. There are two daggers with handles that seem to be carved from animal horns. A broken picture frame with an antique photo of a beautiful African-American woman from the early 20th century. There is a journal with writing in it and a Bible in a language John doesn't recognize. There's a vial of clear liquid held in by a cork and a small vase with bits of ribbon sticking out of it. An ornate crucifix is strapped to the inside of the lid.

Oh, what the hell is this? Hell indeed may be the key to the whole thing. I believe that it belonged to someone who was an exorcist. And I believe that is a load of bullshit. Lucky for you, bullshit is my business. How much you want for it? John arrives back at his apartment a while later, but calling in an apartment,

is generous. It looks more like the bastard child of a storage unit and a magic museum with a little bit of eccentric workshop thrown in for good measure. Seeing himself at a workbench, John opens the case and begins sifting through its contents.

Okay, let's see. You got a picture frame and this picture of Madame Louisa? Voodoo Queen. Check. Okay, well, Your Highness, I'll sit you over here. Now we've got some candles.

Check. Holy Water. Check. Whatever this vase is, check. Ooh, I could probably, hmm. I could probably use that as a prayer vase. But, uh, that's kind of lame. Too many kids have those in their magic kits.

Oh, this Bible is interesting. No, No, Pusduka Sputst Bob Yaba and Zini? Yeah, I don't know.

That's got to be, what, like Polish or Russian, or maybe I could do a book test with it, predict the page and the word, although I probably should be able to pronounce the word, so... Continuing to go through the items in the case,

John retrieves the journal, and beneath it, finds an elaborate rattle. made from the horns of a goat. It is adorned with leather braids and has a wooden handle where the rest of the goat's head would have been. John shakes the rattle,

laughs, and places it on the bench. Next he removes the daggers and an antique sewing kit that contains two very large canine teeth, which look human, though abnormally long. Turning his attention to the journal, John begins to read of mystery, clipped newspaper articles,

photos of gravesites, homes, and people, and handwritten notes attempting to connect the dots. John's hyperfixation gets the better of him, and he falls down this rabbit hole. Hours pass. I need a drink. Okay, so who are you?

All right, so I've got this journal, and it's written by, who is a book? guy, a Baptist minister in the deep south, chasing what appears to be voodoo queens, vampires, and demons with a Polish Bible? What in the hell? Although, I could make a whole one-man show out of this. Oh, look here, I've missed the voodoo doll in the bottom of the case. What the hell? John approaches the workbench cautiously.

Slowly reaching his hand out toward the rattle. Shit. Tom, you scared the hell out of me. Come on in. Are you ready? The meeting starts in an hour. Huh? What time is it?

Holy cow, I must have really gotten absorbed by this. All right, here's what I'm doing tonight. Think of any card in the deck. Anyone? Not the ace of spades. Obviously, I wouldn't pick the ace of spades. Come on. Queen of hearts.

No, seven of clubs. What are you working on? Still looking for a new name, Svengali? How about ADHD the Magnificent? Yeah, you really missed your calling, Tom. You should have been a comedian, not a balloon guy. When you're full of hot air, you gotta find a way to capitalize. Know your strengths.

No, I found this bizarre box in an antique shop downtown today. I'm thinking about turning it into like a whole evening magic show, unpacking this exorcism kit, but it's got some really crazy stuff in it. No offense. I don't want to set you off or anything, but that's a really stupid. idea. Number one, it's been done. Number two, I don't think people are really after that

sort of act. You need something more commercial. All that voodoo crap is just going to bore people. Look at this voodoo doll. Say, you know what he needs? Yeah. Take a couple of these rubber bands and take this hair out of that little vase

and put that on top. Use another rubber band and then put these teeth in front of his face. Now, There's a face a mother could love. Give me that. Now it just looks stupid. John holds the voodoo doll in his outstretched palm.

Looking at the abomination, his friend has made of it. Suddenly, magically, the doll stands up in his hand. As he watches, the doll begins to spin, dancing of its own volition. Alright, what are you doing? Is that a visible thread? I gotta admit, that's pretty cool. admit, that's pretty cool. John does not react. He stares transfixed as the doll moves in his hand, and in his head, he hears whispers, voices too many to focus on, but the message is clear.

All right, put your little toy away and let's go. We don't get to the magic meeting on time. All the donuts will be gone. Bring that thing with you. Maybe somebody will be able to help you make it work better. We're not going anywhere. John picks up one. of the daggers from the workbench and turns in a broad slashing motion. The next morning, as the sun is breaking through the window, John sits perched in a corner. His eyes have a bizarre shine. His face is covered in blood. The room that was once only disorganized is now in shambles. Tom's body lies on the floor, motionless. John answers, but does not speak.

We hear his manager's voice muffled through the phone. A new name? Yes. There is a new name. John smiles, stretching his face almost to a breaking point. Something moves under his skin. We are Legion. Don't say, Legion.

Now that would look good on a marquee. Short, sweet, to the point. I bet people would kill to see that performance. Now, I was going to close the shop as it's just outside our normal hours, but I'd gladly stay a bit longer for you. I think we've got time for one more fascinating consignment. A framed black and white photo of the...

the late Queen Elizabeth II. Pay no mind of the chicken scratch over top of it. More on that later. For now, time for a royally disturbing turn of events called, An old woman thinks she has summoned me

by celebrating the Queen's Platinum Jubilee. So two years ago, I was walking in a field, and there were fences which separated the house gardens to the rest of the field. I found something covered in mud, grass, and other plants.

And it was a doorway of some sorts. I went inside, and it led me to a cellar. The house belonged to a very old woman who was lonely and whose mind was withering. When she went to bed, I came up from the secret cellar, and it led me to the kitchen. I quickly got locks to lock the doorway on the field. And this was my secret cellar. secret place now. I slept under this woman's cellar for two years, and I finally wanted to somehow live in her house. At first, I couldn't think how I was going to do it, but she was a real big fan

of the royals and was looking forward to the platinum jubilee. With her mind not as it was, I thought to myself about a plan to make this old woman think she had summoned me magically. The supposed summoning magic being connected to the Queen's Platinum Jubilee. And it's all made up, of course. I took pictures of myself and made up something about summoning me by celebrating the Queen's Platinum Jubilee was such a prize. When she went to bed, I came out of the secret cellar in her kitchen.

And I started to stick pictures of myself. with the words, summon me by celebrating the platinum jubilee all over it. It was shocked but it eventually ignored them. She celebrated the Queen's Platinum Jubilee

all on her own. And she drank so much. Simply said, I summoned you, didn't I? She begged me to leave. But I kept telling her, you summoned me by celebrating the Queen's Platinum Jubilee.

And I did warn you. you with those pictures? And she put her hands on her mouth. Now, I eat her food and sleep in the spare bed, all for free of rent and no longer hiding. I still went outside through the secret

cellar, and she has still not caught on. She literally thinks that she had summoned me through celebrating the Queen's Platinum Jubilee. She has tried throwing holy water at me and other religious relics. None have worked, obviously.

She can only blame herself. And I've also threatened her that if I live, she will be tortured. Your patronage. Hope you enjoyed your new relic as much as I've enjoyed passing along its sordid history. It does come with our usual warning, however. Absolutely no refunds, no exchanges. And we won't be held liable for anything that may. or may not occur while the object is in your possession.

If you've got an artifact with mysterious properties, perhaps it's accompanied by a history of bizarre and disturbing circumstances. Maybe you'd be interested in dropping it and its story by the shop to share with other customers. Please reach out to antiquarium shop at gmail.com. A member of our team will be in. touch. Till next time, we'll be waiting for you whenever you close your eyes in the space between sleep

and dream. During regular business hours, of course, or by appointment, our best customer. The Antiquarium of Sinister Happenings, Lot 026. An old woman thinks she has summoned me, written by short-cirrhizant. Story 1, narrated by Trevor Shand, featuring Chrissy Fox as the old woman. What's in a Name? Written by Stephen Knowles, narrated by Bruce Ables. Featuring Ray Adams as John, Stephen Knowles as Tom, and the antique dealer.

Engineering production and sound design by Trevor Shand. Theme music by the Newton Brothers. Additional music by Coag. The Antiquarium of Sinister Happenings is created and curated. by Trevor Morenchand. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at Antiquarium Pod. Call the Antiquarium

at 646-481-7197.