The Ariel Helwani Show - Kendra Lust

Episode Date: November 18, 2021

The world-renowned adult entertainer joins Ariel for an honest and open conversation about her career. She tells Ariel why left nursing to pursue performing, how her family and friends feel about her field of work, and how she separates her work from her personal life. Plus, she discusses the biggest misconceptions about her industry and why she loves MMA so much.Kendra Lust is widely considered to be one of the top performers in adult entertainment. A huge MMA fan, she also co-hosts the Beauty & The Beast podcast alongside UFC fighter Julian Marquez.You can follow Kendra on Twitter and Instagram @kendralust, as well as her podcast's YouTube channel.For more episodes of The Ariel Helwani Show, please follow the show on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app.To get more from Ariel, subscribe to his YouTube channel, read his writing on Substack, watch his work for BT Sport, and follow The MMA Hour or The Ringer MMA Show.Theme music: "Frantic" by The Lovely Feathers

Hey everyone, hope you're doing well. It is Ariel Helwani, and it is Thursday, November 18th, 2021. Welcome back to a brand new edition of The Helwani Show, and thank you very much to my good friends, The Lovely Feathers, for this great intro song. It is called Frantic. Another great interview for all of you on today's program. Loving doing these each and every week, and I'm loving the eclectic nature of the interviews. I hope you are as well. And this one's pretty darn eclectic. This week's guest is someone named Kendra Lust. Kendra Lust is world-renowned. Kendra Lust is known as one of the most famous and most popular adult entertainers out there. She's been doing this for quite some time. And I met her on Instagram because she's a huge MMA fan. And she was commenting on some of my posts and, you know,

with some pretty good MMA takes. And a couple of my friends reached out to me and said, do you know that Kendra Lust, the world-renowned adult entertainer, is actually following you and commenting on your work. And I didn't know at the time. I try not to read the comments. It can be a bit of a mess sometimes. And so after that, you know, she bought one of my Hawaii boxing t-shirts. And I came to find out that she's a huge fan of the sport. She's a mother. She's a wife. Her daughter trains. She's a great boxer. She's 10 years old. And she just seemed like a lovely person. And so I wanted to learn more about her career, about how she got into this business, why she got into this business, what she wants to do

in the future, the ups and downs, all that stuff and more. And it was a really enlightening and fascinating conversation. And so I hope that you will listen to this with an open mind and an open heart. There's nothing explicit about the interview whatsoever. There's no real NSFW talk at all. It's just a really great conversation with a really interesting person who's become a success story and who took a very interesting route to get to this point in her career. We talk about what it's like being, you know, someone in her business, but also a mother, a wife living in the suburbs of Michigan, a former nurse, just fascinating stuff.

So sit back, relax, and I hope you'll enjoy this interview with the one and only Kendra Lust. When did you get into MMA and why are you such a big fan of the sport? So I have always been a huge sports fan. You know, I think probably almost everything except golf. I don't really understand golf, although I did entertain it not too long ago for a charity event. So I've always loved sports. And recently, probably over the last three and a half years, our little one started to become interested. And she went from total girly girl to this huge tomboy. And I started to become more interested because of her. And through that, I developed friendships and just like social networking within her, um, like MMA

community. And then I started getting busy on Twitter and, uh, discovered a lot of, um, I guess people through, through like social media. So she's the reason. And recently you even went to the apex, the hallowed grounds. That is the apex. What was that experience like? Honestly, I enjoyed that experience more than just a regular UFC fight. I loved it because you could hear everything. You could hear the coaches, the teams. It was just a more personal experience. A lot of the family members of the fighters were there.

And it felt kind of special. And it was really cool to bring her there and to let her experience that. So I think she had more fun though, eating in the back. I'm not going to lie. She was just making all this food and just hanging out with a killer bee. She loved her and they were playing, you know, cornhole and she was just like her own little person. So for just turning 10, I was, I was really impressed, but it was a really cool experience. I loved it. I've seen your daughter train on, you know, on Instagram. I've seen some of her videos. She, she is great, especially for a 10 year old. If she says to you one day, maybe 15, 16, 17, I actually want to do this for a living. I want to fight for a living. What is your response?

Boy, that is a good question. In all honesty, I think as parents, it's important to support our children's passions and desires, whatever they may be, as long as they are obviously safe. So if that's something she wants to do, I'm on board. However, I'm a huge, huge advocate for, well, I think all parents, they want their kids to get educated. So she will graduate from high school and she will at least try college, you know, so she talks about wanting to go to college and Michigan State and all these things, you know, so I'm like, wow, she's got a big plan here. So, you know, whatever, whatever she wants to do, we're going to support a hundred percent. So, I mean, it's a little, even though she says, mom, you're never going to be able to watch me, you know, fight because look at you now you're like, oh, I can't watch. Oh, I can't watch. She's like, you can't, you're just not going to be able to take it. So I don't know. We'll see. But if that's what she wants, hey, you know, I'm on board. Did you grow up in Michigan? Yes. What kind of childhood did you have?

Oh, good question. You know, I mean, I don't know what normal is, you know, I think normal is relative, you know, like my normal is completely different than somebody else's normal, but it honestly, I had a really good childhood. I, I mean, we grew up, I wouldn't say, I don't know. Now, I don't know that there's like a middle class. I think it's like lower class, upper class. I think that gap is shrinking. So, you know, we didn't go without much.

I mean, we didn't fly. We pretty much drove everywhere as far as vacation. I always make the reference about my dad, he was like Clark Griswold, you know, like, we're getting a Wally world somehow. And Jesus Christ, who knows what's going to happen on the way. But, you know, so it was pretty normal. I mean, my parents, they were working, you know, working class, they worked, had a younger sister. I mean, it was pretty just, I don't know, I played sports, you know, it was, I had a good childhood, like a lot of cool memories. I mean, a lot of crazy ones, like after 18, but you know,

the first 18 years, 19 years were pretty awesome. So when you're, you know, 16, 17 in high school, starting to think about your future, what did you want to be when you grew up? What were your dreams? Right. And I kind of laugh about this. Sorry, I had a little notification. I always say, nobody grows up and says, oh yeah, I want to do adult film, right? I mean, yeah, that's not just, it's not something that anybody really thinks about doing. So when I was younger, I went back and, I went back and forth pediatrician because I love kids. And then I thought, oh my gosh, I have to go to school for that long. Like, no, I can't, you know, I can do it, but I'm not willing to put in that much time.

So the first couple of years, I just kind of was like, I don't know what I'm going to do. So my dad wanted me to go into like business management, marketing. So it was doing what he wanted me to do. And I was not passionate about it at all. I mean was doing what he wanted me to do. And I was not passionate about it at all. I mean, I, I did sales at art van. I couldn't sell a mattress to somebody who was sleeping on the ground. You know, it's just, I couldn't sell somebody something that they didn't need. So for me, it didn't feel authentic. So I decided to get into nursing

and, and I truly loved it. I, uh, practiced for about eight years and I still kind of miss it. So I loved it. I love, I'm a caretaker and that's what I do. And my blessing is my curse sometimes, but I am just passionate about people and taking care of the sick. And I really loved it. When you say my blessing is my curse, what do you mean by that? Because sometimes I am loyal to a fault or I give and give and give and it's not reciprocated. And sometimes I become frustrated with that.

However, I've learned over the years that it is my own personal or character flaw. You know, when you give, it should, it should be with it, no expectations or no, um, you know, nothing, no expectations, no disappointment. So it should just, and I do, I mean, I feel genuine, but I guess I expect people to give, uh, or go above and beyond. Like I do when they don't, it kind of pisses me off. However, not everybody is wired like I am. So sometimes, you know, for a while I was becoming cynical and I thought, you know what, I can't let the behavior of others change who I am because, you know, I started to kind of not like myself. I thought, boy, like this isn't me. You know, my husband was like, you know, this isn't you, you know, snap out of it. So, um, you know, it's, it's okay though. It's a good thing. It's life is about learning and yeah. So here I am. So eight years as a registered nurse, correct? Yes. In

Michigan. Yes. Why do you stop? Well, I, well, I, when I was working, I guess, an adult, I was doing like webcam and stuff. Okay. So I thought, oh yeah, I can do this. And then no one will ever find out. And it was true when it was just webcam. I blocked the state of Michigan. I blocked Florida when my mom was living at that time. So it was blocking, you know, all these states and remained anonymous for a while. And then someone in one of my rooms had said, have you ever thought of, you know, doing like porn or adult film? And I thought, wow, like I enjoy it in my personal life, but I don't know that I could do it. I just thought I was naive. I thought that the money was so much better in film. So I thought I'll do it because at that time there was a lot going on in my family, uh, financially with, with my immediate family and, and what was normal for me for a long time became very erratic and very dysfunctional. Okay. So my world around me was kind of crumbling and I was desperate to find a way to keep my family together and to keep the financial stability within my family and a little bit of my extended family together. So I did it and I didn't know a thing about it.

I didn't know anybody out there. I just took the plunge and I really thought no one would find out. I didn't realize how large or how vast the internet was. Like it's huge. So after six months of doing film, people found out and I thought, Oh gosh, like, what do I do? So my husband was like, I don't, I don't care like what people think. And I said, I don't either. However, like, I don't, I don't know. There's no turning back. He's like, okay, well go big or go home. What do you think? I said, what do you think? And he's like, go big baby.

Like who cares? Like just do whatever works for us. And that's it. So we never looked back. Wow. Okay. So a few follow-ups if I can, when you're talking about your world crumbling around you, what do you, what do you mean by that? I mean financial problems, health problem, what is going on? All of the above. So my parents who were married and stable for so long are now divorced or going

through the process of divorce. My mom becomes ill. My sister's brutally beaten and hospitalized. So, and she has two young kids. I have, you know, our daughter and my husband was injured also off of work in the line of duty. So I had just like so much going on and me being, I guess, just the person that I am, I had to fix it. I had to do something, you know, so I picked up overtime at the hospital, but it really wasn't enough. I was trying to help my sister, uh, you know, in her kids and, and, you know, school clothes and her bills and whatever, like we all have crap. However, for me, like I, there is nothing that I won't do for my, my family. And I don't want to say I did it all for my family, but that was kind of what led to the film part because the, the cammy was just fun and sexy and, you know, making extra money, you know, or whatever.

And I mean, it was for my family, but I don't know how to explain it. But like taking the big plunge, I guess, is kind of when things really got crappy, you know, so there's like a couple of things led me to camming and then things just went crazy. So that's when I took the plunge for film. I hope that's not confusing, but it was like one to the other, like a snowball. You mentioned your sister was brutally beaten. What happened? Yeah. So she was in a really, really abusive marriage for about nine years.

And we never knew. We just thought, hey, he's like just just, um, and I, I try not to speak badly, although I do not, um, do not like this human being to this day, but I still remain to be a remain to, you know, classy and not, uh, anyway. So we just thought he was just a controlling husband and, you know, as much as my mom and myself tried to, um, I guess be there and say, you know, offer options like, are you, you know, is everything okay? And, you know, and she denied it. And I, and when I had my nieces, I would, you know, I would kind of look and check, like, are there any signs, you know, it was like abuse or anything like that. So I didn't see anything on the kids, but I was just, I guess, not thinking that it was her, like he was doing things to her, you know? So when, when that happened, it was, I don't know,

you know, you blame yourself, like how come I didn't see the signs or an older sister, like I should have done something, you know, or done more or whatever, but it's really hard because he, you know, did a really good job of isolating her and kind of keeping her from the family. And, and, you know, it was a rough nine years, you know, it was a very strained relationship between my sister and I. And, and, you know, so yeah, it was, it was bad. It was really bad. And I'm just grateful that my cousin came over that night, because if she wouldn't have, she would have bled internally. She was going into shock and it was very bad. It was, it was bad. So, so I'm so grateful that she is, boy, I don't ever get teared up, but yeah, thanks. But yeah, so it was crazy, but,

but we're good. She's good. She's okay now. Oh yeah. She's fantastic. She's in like, she's in a great, great relationship. She's engaged. She, yeah, she's doing great. So I'm like, so proud and so happy because they say it takes a woman seven times, I guess, like they try to leave like around seven times before they actually do. So, and some people don't ever have the courage, you know, I don't know what that's like. And I can't imagine what she went through. And it's still difficult to talk about for her. And I know, and it'll never know everything, you know, it's like on her terms. So. One last question on this, what happened to the husband? Well, he did go to jail for a short time. However, I do believe that she was truly afraid to do to press charges further out of fear of retaliation.

So she didn't pursue that. And he walks free to this day and he's in a crappy relationship. I think the one good thing that came out of it is that he is fearful of or he won't do that to, to his new wife. You know, even though I know the relationship isn't great, uh, because, you know, he knows that ultimately he will go to jail. So, I mean, it's going to be longer, the consequences will be more severe. So, um, but you know, he's still to this day, they were at something recently and he came up to her and he says, oh, do I make you do I scare you or something like that? Like he's just the master of manipulation. So I wish my husband would have beat his ass on my mom's 50th birthday when he had him up against the wall. And it took seven years for my husband to put his hands on him.

But then he saw my nieces in the car and looked over and saw they were afraid. He sat him down. He's like, it's your lucky day, motherfucker. Can I say that? Yes. Because you would have needed a dentist. He said, you were going to become a man today, son. And it was bad.

So anyway, so crazy. Wow. Anyway, family is just fun, isn't it? Yes, yes, yes. It is fun. I'm glad he's out of the picture. But my sister still kind of has to see him because of their kids. Okay.

Yeah. In a very weird way, is it possible that if these things aren't happening around you, as you say, your world is crumbling, that you don't go down this path? You don't go down, you know, you're just kind of the registered nurse who's doing some stuff on the side. Is it possible that this all led to this whole other life for you? I don't want to say, you know, that like, oh, because of or use that as like a scapegoat or, you know, but I don't know that I would have felt compelled to take it further. I probably just would have had fun, been helping my sister out here and there. And maybe, you know,

and it's not all my sister, like we were having financial things too. We were living paycheck to paycheck at that time. It was just, there was a lot. And then, you know, my dad, God rest his soul up there. He was, he went from like being Clark Griswold to being like, wait, what's that one movie with the, the, the bad Santa. Oh,

I think it's called bad. But what's the actor? Oh, Billy Bob Thornton. Yes. Okay. He became, he went from that extreme to the other and I love him,

but it was like, he became this man. I didn't know, had an affair, you know, had this whole other family, paying for college for a student, like a child that he doesn't even know, and not paying for my school. And I'm taking care of my mom, carrying her up three flights of stairs because she's sick, and, you know, we drain the bank account. So it was just like, what is happening?

Like, geez, this, like, it was just, you know, a lot of people have it the other way, right? Like their childhood sucks. And then maybe they make amends with their family and, um, you know, things happen for a reason and I'm not mad. Like I don't hold, I don't have any ill feeling. Like, I just don't think it's healthy. So like I forgave my dad, you know, uh, before he passed. And, um, yeah, but it was, it was just the opposite. So first 18, 19 years, my dad, you know, before he passed. And yeah, but it was it was just the opposite. So first 18, 19 years and then, you know, all of this like craziness happened. So it was a roller coaster. Did the hospital that you were working at, did they tell you that you had to leave or did you decide to drop that and go full time into adult?

Actually, I was working at the county jail because it worked out really well and it was a lot of fun. So I went from hospital nursing to county jail prison nursing. It was awesome. I loved it. What's so awesome about that? Well, okay. So my husband being a police officer, former police officer, I wanted to be able to relate. I was like, gosh, why does he ever want to talk about work? Well, I realized like he sees the worst of the worst all day, every day, like kids abused and people just, you know, um, you know, just committing, I mean, crime sucks, but like just horrific things. So I thought, okay, I can go into the jail and I can learn. Yeah. Right. You know, I mean, that was, that was, I, in six months, I developed more street smarts than I did my entire life, but you know, I was beat up for six months in there, you know,

because I was, you know, so nice and like, you know, like the world is all sunshine and rainbows, you know, and boy, it was a rude awakening. It was a really cool experience though. And again, like I think everything in life, everything that happens, you learn from it or, you know, you can sit and like complain about it, or you can kind of try to make it into, you know, a positive thing. So I loved it. I had fun. So after six months, they weren't cat calling nurse Michelle, that's my real name, whatever. It's on Google. I, it is what it is. You know, it was okay. Line up, have your pill, you know, be ready. No BS,

you know, no hoarding your pills. I'm not waiting. If you're not lined up for, for, you know, med pass, but you don't get your meds. Like, I don't have time to waste. Like, I have a job to do. You're going to respect that. So, because I'm the only person in this, or one of the only people that will really give two shits if you drop to the floor, okay? Because these guards aren't going to be doing CPR. They're going to pump on your chest with their foot, I guarantee it. Because they just don't give a shit, you know? So, yeah.

Some did. Wow. And I don't speak for all of them but a lot of times i think we become jaded and cynical when we're surrounded in an environment like that and um very easy to to have that happen but you know my moral compass is i don't know it is what it is when you decide to go full-time into film and pursue this career full-time you are married correct yes to my high school sweetheart i've known since i was eight you've known since you were eight what a mensch uh this guy sounds like a great human being he has no problem i mean you

know let's just call it like it is like his wife is out so and you are having you know relations relations if that's the best way of putting it um with other individuals not named him he's okay with this yeah you know he is because he's just really secure with with uh who he is and the act itself um i don't want to say it doesn't have meaning it to me um well i always say what you do does not define who you are. And there's a real difference between like when I think of just human behavior or animalistic behavior, even though we're calling it a sexual art. So I'm kind of contradicting myself. You know, it is supposed to be an art a form of entertainment however in my mind it is just it is very like human it's just raw it means nothing for me there's no emotion I don't feel any connection that uh hormone that has released oxytocin I'm not it's not it doesn I don't know. I just don't associate that act

with any feeling, I guess, unless I'm with my husband, period. Like it doesn't mean anything. I don't want to call this person. I don't want to text you. I don't care if it was the best experience ever. I don't care. I don't love you. I feel nothing for you. I have no emotion. I respect you as a person, as a performer, as a colleague, but I don't care if I ever talk to you again. Like I, and it sounds so cold and callous, but for me, um, that act, like it truly has no meaning if there is no emotion. And if I have no connection and if I have no, I don't know, it's just so different and I can't explain it. It just makes no sense to me. Was it always that way for you or was that something that you had to develop

over time? You have to almost become immune to it. No, because for me, like, no, don't get me wrong. Am I, you're feeling something. I'm not numb. I enjoy the act. It's great. Or I wouldn't do it right i mean i don't well there are some i'm not gonna lie that they're talking about what they're gonna be eating you know i can't wait to eat this salad here we are or this chicken you know and i'm like i'm getting ready to like like we're what's happening here like oh man like this damn it then it kind of ruins it like you know sometimes like girls and even sometimes

the guys you can tell like is this guy like playing on the same you know or whatever you know what I'm trying to say like which uh switch hitter here so okay for me I'm just like okay I don't know he's not you know so whatever but you know it's it's it feels good it's enjoyable but it it's meaningless to me unless it's with someone I love, you know. And just curious, I mean, your job is your job. And when you're out there acting, performing, and then you come home, I mean, at some point, you know, too much of chicken is not very, you know, appetizing, right? Too much of anything isn't a good thing. And so how do you have, you know, the ability to then have a normal marriage with your husband?

Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing. Well, I think for me, it was a lot easier because I don't live out there and I, it doesn't like encompass me. It's not who I really identify as. I feel like I have an identity outside of Kendra where I feel a lot of these performers, both male and female, they, they don't really have a true sense of self or they don't really, maybe they don't, um, value or, or know how to operate outside of their alter ego. And for me, my life is like so much more like, yeah, Kendra, whatever, like, you know, cool. She's cool. But really, um, I enjoy being wife, mom, friend, daughter, like that's who I am. Like that makes me feel good. And, um, you know, yeah. So for me and then too, like I didn't shoot a ton, so I wasn't out there weeks and you know, I, I go out for like maybe four or

five days, come home, you know? So it was like very short. I didn't shoot a ton all the time. I wasn't a yes girl. I didn't do things that, well, sometimes I'm not going to lie. I did some dumb crap. I'm like, okay, yeah, I'm having fun. I'm like, why would I do that? Like I'm stupid looking back, but yeah, whatever. I'm going to go there. So, but at the end of the day, you know, I know who I am outside of that.

And I'm not ashamed of, you know, what I do because I'm proud of my sexuality. And I don't like the double standard associated with it. I think it's crap. And that's a whole nother story for another day. Which double standard, which one are you referring to? It's like male, female performers, right? Male. Oh yeah. You're a boss. You're a pimp. Oh yeah. You're getting all these ladies, you know, but a woman does it and she's this, she's that. And you know, that's not okay. I think sex is natural, right? Oh God, I almost quoted a song. Sex feels natural. Sex feels good. Anyway, whatever. It's an old song. But, um, and I think we should just embrace it and be sex positive. And just like, if there's two consenting

adults, let them do what makes them happy, right? If they're not hurting animals, children, you know, or each other then you know I guess unless they want to um just let them be free you know let them do what they want to do life is too short when I die god forbid whatever that is I always say like are people gonna really care if my house is clean because I'm a little crazy about it but you know are they gonna really care like what I did right I think people will remember you by how you made them feel, right? Like more of the positive things, or at least I hope, you know, and not that I view that as a negative thing, but they're not going to be like, oh yeah, she was this, that. No,

I know that I do enough good and I feel good about it. And I feel okay when I go to bed at night like I rest very easy at night knowing I do what is right and like and I don't know and I give and I don't care if people say oh you're gonna go broke you know you donate you do this you know what I don't care I don't care like I'll do what I want to do and he's not telling me not to and the world sure isn't going to tell me not to because I don't give a shit like I'm a good human and I know it so I'm assuming your daughter knows what you do for a living well in 10 year old terms yes right how do you explain that to her and when do you first explain it to her oh my god good question and I struggled with that question for so long and I thought oh my god like oh geez like what the hell like how am I going to tell her because

I don't want her to do and that sounds hypocritical right however I feel she won't have to but there was a gun to my head to do it I just think the opportunities in life for her and her her path is just going to be different, you know, um, because we're, we're a life, but we're different. So I started telling her when she was a little bit, she was like six or seven. I said, you know, because we were at an event and somebody had called out my name and she's like, why aren't they calling you that mom? I'm like, you know,

like her mommy, she said at that time, you know, and I kind of explained, well, I do have a model name and, you know, for work or whatever. And it's like each year that she developed, you know, I, my husband and I kind of talked to her about things and she brought it up to me. She was just before her 10th birthday. She says, you know, know mom kids know more than you think they know and I was like oh interesting now she had some friends who are older like fifth and sixth graders now they're boys those little shits I love them but you know they're I don't know they're curious right so she's like you know mom I might not always like what you do or like agree with what you do for work.

She says, but I have to respect it. She goes, cause it's going down either way. And dad respects it. And dad knows she goes after respect, I can't do anything about it. And I said, whew, like, I just was like, I don't even know what to say. Like, where did this 10 year old come from with her, how she's thinking, right? So I said, well, I really appreciate that. I said, because, you know, the last thing I would ever want would be for you to not love me or hate me for something that I did. I said,

and I was worried that you would be angry with me. And she's like, you're my mom. I would never, you know, I love you, mom. I was like, you know, I love you too. And I said, but be prepared. You know, people are, no matter what you do in life, whether it's good, bad, it doesn't matter. I said, people are going to say positive things, but they're also going to say a lot of negative things. I said, and I'm sorry if people say something to you that, that will hurt, hurt your feelings, you know, because of me, I said, I, you know, I can't control what people think or say. And I said, they are just words at the end of the day, I said, and I don't care what people say. And I know it's different for you. She says, Oh, I don't care. She goes, I'll just choke them out.

Like she was like, very matter of fact, and she's very protective. So I'm not going to say it's not going to affect her. But I just just I guess I wanted to assure her that you know she can talk to us and about anything and you know and she and she does I'm sure she doesn't tell us everything however I developed well I didn't develop this I I learned I read it in a parenting magazine it talked about something called the bubble and the bubble. And we, we started it when she was like six is this really special place. It's invisible, but it's a special place called the bubble where she can come and she'll say, mom, let's go into the bubble and we can be standing right here. And the bubble is a place where she can say

whatever she wants. She can tell me whatever she wants and she won't get in trouble. So it's a place for her to just like, and it gives me chills because it's just some of the things, like sometimes she was using that bubble just to like swear. And I'm like, okay, we have to stop this because it's not just, I'm like,

it's not just a place for you to like, you know, throw this word around or that word around. I said, you know, because, you know, I don't know that dad's on board with that part of the bubble or whatever. But so, so yeah, so we still use it, you know, and she uses it, you know, when she wants to talk about stuff. So she's like, okay, mom bubble. So what really happened? Or like, you know, she likes, I want some tea, mom, what's what's going on? You know, so it's really cute. So, you know, and I hope she continues to use it.

It's a safe place for communication because I think kids need that where they are not afraid to bring stuff up. And I always tell her, you know, if you have questions or just anything, like even if you're uncomfortable talking about it, write it. So I have a little journal. It's like a little stupid journal. I'm like, just write down what you're thinking, slip it under my door and I'll write something back, you know, because sometimes kids are afraid to like talk about things or they're embarrassed, like 10, you know, it's a crazy time for them. So, um, so she knows and, um, you know, it is what it is. So we're just going to have to deal with, you know, we hope nothing is going to come out. All of our, my entire sub knows they knew

before I moved in, that was fun. But, um, but they were all very open and very nice. And, uh, some of our best friends are two doors down, you know, so we've been here almost five years. So it's a good thing. So they all know everybody knows. And, and I, you know, I'm like, just, I'm a show. And they're like, yeah, you're just her mom. That's it. So going back to a question I asked you at the very beginning, if in 10 years she says she wants to do this for a living, what are you saying? I already told her. I said, you know, down the road, I said, if this is something that you want to do, no, I'm not going to like it.

I said, but there's one thing that, or a couple of things that better be in place. I'm just preparing her. She's not, I have a feeling she's never going to want to, but you know, I could be wrong. And I explained it. I said, you know, I made this decision as an adult. I was married, have, you know, a nursing degree. I said, and I was very stable in life i said so you better make sure you have those things in place before you make a decision like that i was like and if you do then that's fine but not in you know not until then she was don't worry i never want to do that so how do you feel like you are like when you go to like pta meetings and things like that do you

feel you mentioned like when you moved into the neighborhood, oh, it was fun. Everyone knew. How, how does that make you feel? Like you're just a mom trying to raise a child, but you feel like you are treated differently. Do you feel like people look at you differently? Oh, they may. But honestly, I don't really care. You know, when people knew the first year and I had no clue.

So here I am. Oh yeah. And I'm so-and-so mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, yeah. And I'm saying, so mom, you know, whatever. And then I noticed like, boy, people were really like knocking on our door a lot. So girl scout cookies,

like the neighbor come, had come by. She's like, knock, knock. And I was like, oh, whatever.

And she's like, oh, your husband had bought some girl scout cookies. And I just wanted to deliver them. She's looking in my house. Yeah. And with her three kids. And I said,

she goes, oh, I see you got your lines up. And I said, well, Bridget, why don't you come on in and have some coffee? Like, whatever. I don't care. And so she's like, oh, okay. So she brings her kids. And now my mom is here at that time staying with us for a few weeks from Florida. And my husband, they both look at me. And they're like, we're going upstairs.

I'm like, oh, that looks even better. Mom. And like, it's my husband and my mother and my mom get along so good. They're like two peas in a pod. Like, so they go upstairs. I'm like, oh God, this just gets better. I'm like these two, I'm going to kill them after, but whatever. So I were sitting down and she's like, yeah, you know, well, you know, where'd you guys move from? And, you know, didn't ask what I did, but she was like, yeah, you know, um, you guys move from? And, you know, didn't ask what I did, but she was like, yeah, you know, um, we're just kind of like talking about the neighborhood a little bit, the cookies, the kids, the school. And then she's like, yeah, it's a small sub. And I said, yeah, I like it. It's just like one way in one way out. I said, not a lot of traffic, but it kind of

secluded. It was like, I really liked that. And she's like, yeah, she says, but you know, uh, in this sub, she goes, there's, you know, a lot of talk when it's small. And I said, Oh, I said, that's good. I want to get to know, you know, the kids and the parents, because I want to be able to watch out for somebody else's kid. And I want the same for mine. And she says, yeah, but the other thing is, you know, she says, if people are, uh, I always say though, if people come to me and they're talking about somebody, they're probably talking about me too. And I said, oh, I said, well, the good thing, and I named off my address. I said, if they don't live here, I said, I don't give a shit what they think if they're not paying

my bills. I said, so yeah. I said, I kind of, I said, I said, I, what did I say? I said, I act like a lady, but I kind of think like a man. I don't gossip. I don't give a shit. I don't do drama. I said, you would agree with me, wouldn't you? We all want the same thing. We want to raise happy, healthy, you know, ethical, like just good kids, right? And she's like, yeah. So I shut her down. And I shut the other one down too. She invited us over. Sorry if I'm taking up too much time. Cut me off at any time. No, this is great. It's a fascinating look into your life, and I appreciate you being so candid. Yeah, no, thank you. This is the deepest I've ever gotten with anybody, so it's good.

Yeah. So anyway, so they invite us over, and now she knows what. She's the nosiest one in the neighborhood, and I get along with her fine. A lot of people can't stand her. She's like the one-upper. I don't give a shit. Her landscaping looks amazing. Her everything is badass. And I tell her I'm like, looking good. Like I love it, you know, because I'm not that person. I'm a middle of the road girl. I'm not trying to outdo Peter.

I'm not trying to like, you know, screw over Paul. I'm just middle of the road. Like I just do what works for us. Okay. That's just how I am. So, so we're over there having, you know, cocktail or whatever, and kids are paying or whatever. And she's like, oh, so what do you do for a living? She knew. And I said, well, I do adult film. I said, it's afforded a really good life for my family.

And, and myself, I said, and, you know, I, and what else did I say? I said, do that. I said, and I got a,, and what else did I say? I said, do that. I said, and I got, uh, or I have another business that I'm working on on the side. I said, uh, what about you? Her jaw dropped because you know why, when you own it and you say it and I mean, what can people say? I mean, yeah, I'm going to say it. I, I, I'm not ashamed of it. And when you own something, um, they can't really say anything. So do you know that same night though, she divulged so much information about her previous marriage and some very, very personal things. So I think sometimes when you become vulnerable or you make yourself

vulnerable, people are more inclined to, to talk with you about their life because you know what, like I'm, I don't, I don't judge people. I just don't. Um, I know what it feels like and, um, it sucks, but you know, I mean, you, you grow thick skin and you hold your head up high and you keep moving. So yeah, so that's it. So I love my neighborhood though. I mean, it sounds like you've been able to ingrain yourself into the fabric of the neighborhood. Well done. In the 90s, you know, when I'm a teenager and you're starting to know about what's out there in the world, the most popular, the most famous adult star is probably Jenna Jameson. I think most people would agree who was also connected to the world of MMA with her relationship with Tito Ortiz. It feels at least to me, I'm no expert,

but you are approaching that territory. You are approaching, do you feel like you are approaching like all time legendary status? No, wrong? God, no. I, no. Jenna, to me, will always be the queen. She's number one, she's the goat?

Always, always. Nice to you? So Jenna, to me, will always be the queen. She's number one? She's the goat? Always. Okay. Always. Nice to you? Yes. Yes, she is. You know, there was a time, for some reason, there was a little, I don't know why, it was like some animus, and I had no idea why.

And I don't, yeah, I don't know. But she, her and I are great now. So I don't know. Maybe, I don't know how that happened. I was like, oh my gosh. I have like nothing but respect for her. But she, her and I are great now. So I don't know. Maybe so. I don't know how that happened. I was like, oh my gosh. I have like nothing but respect for her. But yeah, we're great. She's great.

Yeah. Could you have ever imagined that your life would be like this when you got into this? Meaning the money that you've made, the success that you've had, the notoriety that you've garnered for yourself. Like, was this a part of the dream or have you exceeded your wildest dreams at this point? You know, um, uh, I, yeah, I never thought, no, no, no, no. I never ever thought that my whole goal was just to kind of like keep my family afloat and, you know, do these things. And, and, you know, as I learned more about the business, there, there were things I wanted to change about the business and I didn't like about the business

and a ton that I loved. And, um, but no, I never thought, Nope. I, yeah. So for me, when people say, Oh yeah, you know, don't donate, don't do this. And I don't know why I have to change my voice when I'm personally with other people, but I, I do But if I don't know I want to do it, I'm going to do it. I wouldn't do it if I couldn't do it or I felt it would negatively impact my family. So yeah. So I'm grateful. I've never in my life did I think I could have almost three houses paid off. And I'm grateful. I've never in my life did I think I could, you know, have almost three houses paid off. And I'm not trying to gloat because I'm totally not like that. But sometimes I'm just like, oh my God, like scratch me, pinch me. Like, this is not like, wow. You know, and we're in Michigan, so it's a little different, but it's a good thing. Um, yeah, it's cool. In your mind, how many more years would you like to be a part of this business for? Yeah. You know, it's really hard. The, I guess in internally, I think, um, I would say like, I'm not ready to hang up my phone. You know, I, if the, I guess if the revenue was not coming in. So it's like, gosh, you know, it's more Luke, believe it or not, it is since

2019, the trajectory of like, it is just, um, it's insane. So it just, how do you stop doing something that continues to grow? And it doesn't make sense. Like it would be stupid, you know, but because a lot, I haven't professionally shot for anybody in over three years. I just do my only fans. I have two toy deals. I have blah, blah, blah, this, that, I'm just saying I have other revenue sources and just a couple local business things up here. So for me, it's like it doesn't make sense for me to just, you know, I don't know, retire. Right. No, of course. I don't want to, you know, part of me wants to just not do it anymore. Okay. So are you having a dilemma, an internal dilemma? Yeah. I well not always but like you know at what point like i want to go out

like uh like a gilf right right you know or like you know like just past you know the time where people really enjoy watching me but so yeah so it's yeah whatever but we're gonna we're gonna keep it going for a bit and we'll go from there. Uh, do we have time for two more questions? I know you have to go. Yeah, we're good. Okay. Um, what would you say, or what do you believe is the biggest misconception about not only you, but people in your field? Yeah, I think I, I don't like when people say, oh, yeah, you know, they're dirty. Well, technically, we're not technically the person. And, you know, that, you know, you might have.

And I'm not judging. Like I said, go have fun. But, you know, are you always being safe? Right. Do you really know what this person has when you, you know, you really don't. So for them, people to say, oh yeah, you're dirty. Well, we're tested. Like we know who and what everybody's status is when, when we work with them. So we're not, and we're sorry that you feel that way. However,

we are cleaner than most people that you pick up at the bar and you have fun, like get it on, you know, but you know, that's not fair or, you know, the misconception that that's all that we do. Like my life is just this big. That's what's going on. I have never brought an adult performer to my home. I have never brought a strange woman, a strange man, not in this house, not happening. Okay. There's a time and a place and that place is not where I live. It's not here. Right. So, so for me, it's, you know, time and a place like be a class act and, you know, be able to separate the two. And, um, you know, a lot of performers who are parents, I think, you know, they say, Oh, how can you guys, you know, do that? And it's like, I don't know, for me personally, like, again, we aren't what

we do. We're not having orgy parties or okay. We're not doing all that kind of stuff. Okay. Now, before we had our daughter, we were wild and crazy and we had fun. I was baking cookies, make it, we had, we had a blast, know? But, you know, you grow and whatever. And I'm fine with that. I'm content. I love my life. I'm grateful. We're healthy.

My family is healthy. And that's all that really matters to me. So, yeah. Did I answer your questions? You did. I talk a lot. No, you did. Actually, better than you think.

By the way, who came up with the name? Oh, God. Like my hubs and a couple of my girlfriends, you know, whatever. I told them and they were like, I have the same girlfriends. Oh, my gosh. 15, 16 years now. Like the same group of friends. Nothing's changed.

I have my same friends who have supported me and they get mad. They're like, why didn't you tell us about this? Why? And I'm like, talk about me or we'll do round table. And I always put myself last and they're like, we didn't get to, I was like, no, it's good. Like, like I want to, you know, so just because I think a lot of my stuff is on display and, and, you know, I probably get, you know, might get old. Like I don't want to be the center of attention. Like when I just want to be with my friends, you know, I want them to shine. So yeah.

Well, I gather you, okay. In that case, you didn't really answer the question, but fair enough. And, and I gather that you are the kind of person who doesn't like to pat themselves on the back. Clearly, you want the shine to go to other people. And so let me ask you this to ultimately make you as uncomfortable as possible. Why do you think you have had so much success? Why do you think you are so popular? Why have you had such a successful career up until this point, in your opinion? And I like that question because I can

answer it with complete conviction, honesty, and utmost sincerity because I'm nice. Honestly, like I feel, okay, there are girls that are, and I'm not looking for a fishing for compliments. I'm just saying there are girls that are 10 times more hot that have like better bodies, way better performers. Like, I feel like I'm a mediocre performer. However, I think personality with, you know, you can be like a seven or an eight, but if you've got personality and you're nice and you're fun and you just own it, like just have fun with it. Like, just have fun with it.

Like, yeah, I got a stretch mark. Yeah, whatever here, whatever. Just have fun with it. Own it because life isn't perfect. I'm not perfect. Sex isn't perfect. Sex is sweaty, nasty, raw, crazy, whatever stuff happens, you know? So it's like, you just, you gotta roll with it.

Gotta have fun with it. You gotta be nice. You gotta engage with your fans. And at the end of the day, like everything here is temporary. Everything is temporary, right? This life is temporary. So if you take it too seriously, you really, you don't get to enjoy the moment, right? So I don't know.

I really went deep with that. So just have fun and you think the fans realize this you think they notice this that you're a good person no like you know and oh yeah but like they'll say oh yeah she's a good person but she's like you know not my speed or she's whatever i don't want to like you know insult anyone but you know if she's maybe not attractive in their eyes or whatever then you know it know, they're not, she might not sell or whatever. So, yeah, I get it. But like I said, you know, if you're, you know, a pretty or a decent, attractive human

being and, you know, you enjoy what you do, it shows on camera, you have fun, you engage with the fans, you're nice to people, like people can feel it. I think they can. Your life reminds me a little bit um of that of a pro wrestler where there's something called kayfabe in the world of pro wrestling where you kind of want to not let people know that you know the undertaker is a real guy so to speak and so you talking about your husband your your daughter your normal life i'm sure is not music to the ears of fans of yours. And yet you're okay

with doing that. I'm sure you've gotten crazy messages, crazy DMs, crazy this and that. But at some point, you have to reach a point where you're okay with letting people know that you are an actual human being and not who they might think you are on camera, correct? Yes. Gosh, you are such a talented interviewer. And so it's so intelligent. I don't know anyone that can kind of, well, a lot of people have interviewed me and really never kind of gone there. So gosh, I like that. And yes, for a long time, I was this big facade, right? Like, you know, we don't say I'm married. It's like, you don't want to ruin the fantasy for these people. Right. But I think as I transition slowly out the super fans, or I guess people maybe want to know, and maybe it'll attract a different

demographic and I might lose some along the way, but I don't know, you got to reinvent yourself. Not that I'm reinventing the wheel, but you got to give them something different, something for them to connect. Maybe, like I said, some may like it, some may not, but it is what it is. Well, I wish you the best. This has been an enlightening conversation. I've learned a lot. Like I said, I don't usually get to talk to people in your field or any other field outside of the world of sports. So I really appreciate you doing this. I know you don't do a lot of it and I appreciate the candor and the authenticity as well. Thank you so much.

Thank you. And thank you for keeping us entertained. You are so fun. I was listening to your last podcast. Anyway, it was just, anyway, about Glover, Trixie, i can't say his last name trist to share to share yeah and um anyway it was just good though because you're just goofy and fun and uh so yeah so thank you for keeping us entertained i appreciate you i appreciate that thank you so much all the best to you and your family uh i really appreciate the time and uh wish you guys nothing but the best. Thank you. So like I said, fascinating stuff, right? And this is really why I wanted to do this interview and why I wanted to do this show, to talk to people that I don't usually get a chance to talk to, to be able to learn more about people from all walks of life, people who do different things, who are not just fighters in the fight game and whatnot. And this is a perfect example of that.

So I hope you enjoyed the interview. I hope you have a newfound respect for her and her journey and her success story. I certainly do. And I wish her nothing but the best. And I really appreciate the time as well. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you'll continue to rate, download, subscribe, and review to this here feed, whether it's on Apple, Spotify, Amazon, Google, all those places and more. And of course, on our YouTube channel as well, youtube.com slash Ariel Hawani is where you can see the entire video interview with Kendra and all our previous guests.

And of course, we shall be back next week with a brand new episode, with a brand new person as well. I look forward to that. I'm loving doing these and I hope you're enjoying them as well. Thanks so much for listening. Thank you for your support. I'll talk to you next week. Thank you.