The Aspiring Psychologist Podcast - Baby Bonding Activities: Why Bathing & Water Play Build Attachment

Episode Date: November 10, 2025

Looking for gentle and meaningful ways to bond with your baby? In this episode of The Aspiring Psychologist Podcast, Dr Marianne Trent and Jo Wilson founder of Aqua Sensory and Bath Babies, explore how bath time, baby swimming, and water play can strengthen parent-baby bonding and early attachment.You’ll learn how simple baby bath routines, skin-to-skin moments, sensory play, and warm water can support emotional connection, co-regulation, brain development, and confidence. We discuss reading baby cues, creating calming rituals, and using water to reduce stress for both babies and parents.Whether you’re a new parent, expectant parent, baby group practitioner, perinatal professional, or anyone supporting early childhood development, this episode offers practical baby bonding ideas, attachment-building activities, and sensory play tips you can start using straight away.Perfect for those interested in early attachment, responsive parenting, infant mental health, baby swimming, and supporting secure, confident babies through everyday routines like bath time.⏱️ Highlights & Timestamps00:00 – Why water is such a powerful bonding medium01:00 – “100% attention, not divided attention” — presence in the water02:30 – Eye contact, attunement & following baby’s cues04:00 – The raw emotions of early parenthood & building confidence05:25 – When bath time soothes — and when babies need less stimulation06:59 – Making bath time fun: voice, movement, simple toys & attunement07:59 – Stacking cups, sensory joy & reminding ourselves to play08:52 – Supporting parents who fear water or aren’t swimmers10:01 – Sleep schedules, real life & why outings matter for parental wellbeing11:17 – Water as community, postnatal support & early social development12:17 – “Blue Mind” theory: why water boosts mood and calm13:47 – Rituals, relaxation & water as a tool for mental health15:13 – Amniotic beginnings & the instinctive comfort of water16:34 – Shifting bath time from “task” to connected activity17:34 – Jo’s story: redundancy, finding purpose & building Aqua Sensory19:01 – Child-led water confidence vs old-school dunking21:11 – Baby swim costs, accessibility & long-term developmental benefits22:45 – Bath Babies: a gentle fourth-trimester approach to water connection25:02 – Training others to support parent-infant bonding through water26:34 – Why this matters for clinicians in perinatal and parent-infant work27:01 – Where to find Bath Babies & Jo’s book27:48 – Dr Marianne’s reflections & another book recommendationLinks:📲 Jo’s website: https://aquasensory.comJo’s pools in Rugby and Leamington Spa: https://swimworks.co.uk 📚 Jo’s Book, Bath Babies: Creating Beautiful Bonds in Water https://amzn.to/4ptegRO 📚 Dr Caroline Boyd, Mindful New Mum, The book I mention in the outro: https://amzn.to/47R7wH5 🫶 To support me by donating to help cover my costs for the free resources I provide click here: https://the-aspiring-psychologist.captivate.fm/support📚 To check out The Clinical Psychologist Collective Book: https://amzn.to/3jOplx0 📖 To check out The Aspiring Psychologist Collective Book:

Before we dive in, a quick heads up. If you're a qualified psychologist in private practice, then Dr Claire Plumley and I would love to invite you to our next in-person event. It's the psychologist Christmas Social, happening in Kingscross London on Saturday, the 6th of December 2025. It's your chance to connect with other brilliant minds, enjoy some festive food and feel part of a real community, especially if you're missing that work Christmas due feeling. Faces are limited and feeling fast, so if you or a colleague might be interested, you can find the link to grab your ticket in the show notes or in my bio on social media or just send me a DM. Dr. Claire and I will look forward to seeing you there.

Water is so much more than just a way to keep our children and ourselves clean. It can be a powerful tool for bonding, calming the nervous system and laying the foundations for trust and confidence. Whether you're a parent looking to feel more confident with your newborn or a professional, curious about how sensory experiences shape attachment, this conversation is for you. I'm Dr. Marianne, a clinical psychologist and today I'm joined by Jo from Acrosensory, where we'll be exploring how water, from bath time to baby swimming, can nurture, connection and resilience. Like and subscribe for more. Hi, welcome along to the Aspiring Psychologist podcast. I am Dr. Marianne, a qualified clinical psychologist and I am joined here today by Joe Wilson. Welcome along, Joe.

Oh, thank you so much. Hi, everybody. So before we dive into who you are and all of that stuff, why is water such a powerful medium really for helping bonding with babies? I think sometimes we underestimate the power of water. actually. I think water just happens to be around and it's like a commodity really. But water is so meaningful. It can really, really teach us. At the end of the day, it's natural and it is so accessible. But for me, it's like pure presence. You know, like when you're so busy in the daytime, you've always got divided attention. But water, what it does, it demands our 100% attention. And that's the message that I always give to my parents as well, because you do have

to be really respectful around water and you always have to supervise. So I have a little tagline that I always share with all my swim families, and I always say it's all about 100% attention, not divided attention. And that has a real powerful meaning for presence with a baby, but also you're in a medium, if you are in a swimming ball, that is very much skin to skin, or of course if you're in the bath as well, babies in the bath and they're really enjoying that activity. But it's an activity that you can be with your baby. So very much with your baby rather than doing things to your baby because there's lots of things out there that you have to do. But this is more of an activity that you can really, really enjoy together. Like, almost

like mutual delight. Yeah, absolutely. And in a world where we're so switched on, where we often might have a phone in our hands, this is an opportunity to be screen-free. And I think really it's reminding me of some of the kind of infant-parent observation stuff that we might get in psychology, looking at the quality of that eye-gaze, looking at being attuned, really,

and following your baby's lead. Could you tell us a little bit about how you see that unfold with babies and parents? Yeah, so when we are with, babies in water the nice thing is that a lot of the time we're down at their eye level as well and again you talked about eye contact us that's really lovely to really just follow their lead and sometimes babies you know they have to just have a sensory break they gaze away but they can come in but you're in a much closer contact situation with your baby and a lot of the time if you're in a swimming pool or

in the bath you've got beautiful skin to skin as well which is really really nice but what we're we're doing is we are really feeling into baby's cues and you know do they like their bath how are they feeling today are they a little bit fussy or are they really active and ready for their their bath so i think baby is really able to you know present how they're feeling as well and because as you say we have like less distractions we can pick up and we can really attune our our cues as well. Yeah, I remember, I think I was probably day three or day four when I had my first baby, who you got to know a little bit as well, and we'll talk about that shortly, but it was like the three-day sort of weep, really. I was so overcome. I'd had a section. I was

still in loads of pain. My milk was all coming in, like, and I was sitting on the toilet, lid closed as my husband was running a bath for him, and I think it was probably his first bath. and I was just holding him, waiting for the, I think I was holding him naked because he's ready to get in the bath, ready for him to get in the water. I was just like crying and I was just like, I just love him. I just love him. But there's something about those very early days and those very early experiences and trying to get it right. I think he might even have been crying at the time. How do we, how do we begin to support those very early bus?

especially if they are crying and they're upset it's it's really difficult we've got all of these hormones going on we are sleep deprived you know if we're thinking about the very early days mine didn't sleep for like 20 months that that first one but it's just really hard joe how do we try and be mindful how do we try and be respectful of of that process it's going to be very different to what they're used to as well and i think what we've got to be remind is that every babies different. So there's a lot of babies that have a natural affinity to water and they find water really soothing and calming. So if you have got a fuzzy baby, perhaps, water is going to be the absolute perfect place that's going to really, really calm them down and it's going to really

soothe them. Particularly before bed, you can start a little routine. Of course, there are some babies that they have just that tiny little bit more extra stimulation and then that can actually just be too much. I think the important message for anybody really in parents and caregivers is that bath time doesn't actually have to be the same time of day. We're really tuning into when baby is ready. You know, a lot of the time we think about it has to be at the end of the day. But I would say, you know, when is good for you and when it's good for baby. And it's okay to make a few mistakes because baby is just, you know, always forgiving us for trying

and I think the important thing is, is just being together in that moment. Yeah, and I have to confess, I don't think I am the funnest of parents, Joe. I think I'm cuddly, I am nurturing. For whatever reason, maybe my own developmental experiences, I don't think I'm super fun. And so my husband always used to do way more fun baths than I did. How can we empower people to make bath time fun and nurturing? So I always sort of come back to almost like a little bit of a sensory five. So you have got your voice and babies love our sing-song voices.

So we don't even have to like sing or do rhymes, but they just love when we talk to them, talking through the bath time as well, adding in simple words, a splash in and just making up things. baby loves that movement in the bath babies love to wriggle and of course on dry land they're quite fixed but in the bath there are so much more free movement and then we have got that beautiful eye contact as well that I was saying they really really love us when we're just watching and looking together and then adding in just a really simple bath toy so nothing too much

It could be just some plastic balls or a simple cup. So really, really simple things for babies in the bar, definitely. One of my favourite things, and something I've still got, actually, was from a friend who'd had a baby, I think, around the same time as me. And she bought us a set of 10 stacking cups, and all of them had, like, slightly different holes in the bottom. So they all came out slightly differently. And we used those so much.

and we actually still use the big blue one in our bathroom to keep all our toothpastes in because, you know, they've been such a part of our story. It was really hard to let them go. But yeah, like you might just enjoy this. But I know if people are thinking about baby swimming as a rite of passage, and I would say I loved it. So I did it with you with my youngest, and I loved it.

It was such a special time. But I'm guessing you probably get parents that are actually scared of water or maybe aren't swimmers themselves. How do you encourage them to still think that maybe that's something they should do with their baby? So I always say start at home in the bath and I think there are just so many things that you can do for water acclimatization and I think that can, you know, just break barriers really of just knowing that your baby is comfortable in the water and, you know, go in to some lovely splashy moments and things like that and you think, oh actually, yeah, you know, let's try it. And I think the environment is really important. So going to a pool that you perhaps know and it's really familiar or just going and having a walk around before you can get into the pool and talking to the teacher if you're going to a class or just, you know, people around the pool if it's just an open session. And I would always say check the water temperature as well. I think some pools can be quite cold. So I'd say, you know, pick a nice warm pool, particularly if you are with your baby.

And they just know the areas of the pool. So you don't have to. I think we not put a lot of pressure on ourselves. We have to swim. But no, going there, just holding baby, being together in the water and even walking around is absolutely fine. Yeah, it's hard, isn't it, when you've got a baby on a schedule as well? If it's like, you know, your swim lesson time is like usual nap time or lunchtime

or when you'd usually feed them. Like, I remember thinking, oh, what if he's going to be asleep? Or, you know, it's really hard to disrupt that. But I think we also need to think about actually, yeah, routine is essential. It's kind of good for our own sanity. My babies didn't get that memo. They didn't really do schedules. But it's still important.

And I think for our own mental health as parents, it's still important that we're doing things together. Like, I really love baby massage. I really love baby swimming with you, because it's that reciprocal thing, but it's something it gets you out of the house as well. Otherwise, your life can become very insular. And I think even beginning to think that I can't go out by myself or I can't do this or, you know, like it really matters, isn't it? These activities, they're not just maternity or paternity leave rights of passage. We are creating and developing those very early attachment relationships that we hope will become long-term lovely relationships in future. Yeah, and it's a relationship that we

are building with our baby, but also others as well. And I think, you know, we mustn't forget babies. Babies, we're all born social little humans and they love being with other babies as well. It's so nice in the pool, or if you've got people around the house as well, you know, when they just see him and it's just that surprise, isn't it? But I think. think in the water, I don't know if you've heard of the blue mind theory, that there's actually a lot of science and research that water has a way, a magic way, of actually releasing happy hormones in the brain. And people that are in water or around water are actually happier as well. So there's lots of research around the blue mind. So yeah, I think if we are a little bit

low or a bit tired or yeah let's see if we can maybe run a bath or go to the pool i love that and it's making me think about people that live by the sea and regularly get in the water um they certainly let me seem pretty happy don't they and our bath broke a couple of years ago joe and the whole bathroom has needed fixing um and just tearing out and it's something we've never quite got around to but when we were on holiday in the summer we had a lovely bath and myself and my youngest would be using that bath daily, not together at this age, but daily. And I just thought, oh, I so love a bath. I'm probably a more bath person than a shower person. And it's really made me think, yeah, we do need to get this bathroom situation sorted because I need

my regular baths. Yeah, well, everybody's different. And they did a lot of different research that even listening to water, seeing any types of water. So you don't actually have to live near water as well. And I think that's the interesting thing. So there is almost like a primitive instinct built in with us that, you know, maybe it's because we know how important water is because we have to have it for life that we're primed almost to be attracted to water. So yeah, listening to water and seeing bodies of water. So that might be really helpful. for anybody that is really supporting people with mental health to think about some sort of bringing water into therapy as well. Yeah, that's so important, isn't it? And we've got the whole

kind of Wim Hof cold water movement and stuff. But actually, it's just really lovely to be in water, to develop your own rituals around water. And I think, like you said, to be really mindful of thinking about how that water feels on your skin. And yeah, I find that I think very different thoughts. It helps me to think more clearly when I'm, when I'm relaxed and in water. Yeah, I love that. I love that idea, Joe. And, you know, you can develop your own sense. You know, can really uplevel the sensory, can't you? Think about your favorite bath oil sense or, yeah, like there's, you know, whether you, I always, this is a little spoil. lullet, every bath I've had probably for the last 10 or 15 years, I have listened to the

Rayla Montaigne Trouble album. I would declare that to be the perfect bath soundtrack, like every bath. So for me, I just love that ritualistic nature of that and just the thoughts that come. Yeah, I love it. But also, we're born from amniotic fluid, aren't we? We've We've been surrounded in water for the whole of our gestation. And I wonder if that's something about the power of water. I'm sure it is. And I think also just our nervous systems have an almost like social connection. So if we're building that ritual up and we know that feeling,

even if we've had a bad day, again, just the music, the sound of the bath. Something inside, doesn't it, switches over and goes, oh, I know what this is. and it's just like oh yeah so i think there's nothing better at the end of the day to have a bath yourself if you feel like oh i really really need to or yeah if your baby is just um needing that time with you as well so i would always um suggest have a little think about introducing some water rituals together definitely yeah absolutely and thinking about i think it's thinking about making that shift with even bath times from, oh, I've got to do this or, you know, this is a thing we must do, to thinking about it as an activity, something to be enjoyed

and look forward to. And I really like the idea of maybe thinking about when you do that in the day when they're most receptive to that, rather than thinking, oh, God, we've got to do that at the end of every day or, you know, when maybe your resources are sapped, maybe the baby's resources are sapped as well it's it's you know respecting both of you really it is and i think also that we just underestimate the power of water and there's so many times when you know it's it's there and it's accessible it's free and it's natural and i think sometimes just because it's there we forget about it don't we but yeah definitely that i think you know thinking about it in water in in a different way, in a mindful way, is, yeah, different mind shift for people.

Yeah, and you've made water your whole career, certainly since you became a parent anyway. And I remember when we were in the pool together and that's probably the end of the lesson. And you were like, oh, I've got this dream to have my own pool one day. And then at the end of our sessions, I think you then opened your first pool. I think you've now got a couple of pools. and it really is, it's become your life's mission, hasn't it? Yeah, I mean, I was really fortunate that as a child, I always used to spend a lot of time in water with my dad

and I think that that built that almost foundation relationship. And then when I was made redundant on maternity leave, you know, and you're just like searching, you're thinking, oh, I don't know what to do. It just happens to land and I was taking my little boy, baby swim, and this is going back 22 years now. And I was, I was a little bit low at the time because I didn't have a lot of friends. I moved areas.

So it was almost that, as we've been talking about, that postnatal support group as well. So I really lent into my friends group through swimming. So it definitely had much more of that emotional attachment when I got made redundant with my daughter. It was almost like there just presenting. I was like, right, fine. So it was almost like a path. And when I was hiring pools, I just felt like, yeah, we could be doing this a little bit different.

The environment needs to be different for babies, warmer, lots of different new facilities. And I wanted to create much more of a community connection. So it was really tough building our own pools. But yeah, I absolutely love our swim families and the community that we're building. And then through just introducing now out to others and more of like saying that the bath can be that first step to the pool and really helping and supporting others with that as well. Yeah, what I liked about your approach, Joe, was it was so respectful of the baby.

We're not doing like, not chucking them in. We're not dunking them straight away. Like, we're not putting those funny little floaty things on their heads and letting them float off by themselves. Like, it was really empowering to, to respect the baby and to gently introduce a few splashes to their face of the water so that they could see that for themselves. And just to be baby led, you know, I think sometimes we did gently pull baby underwater, but only when they were, when we thought that that would be okay. And I hope I'm not remiss remembering that, Joe. I think that does happen at some points in the lessons. But it's empowering you to think about what's right for your baby, what's right for what's right for you and them on any given day.

Like I just, I really loved, really loved your way. And I found it really empowering. actually as a first-time mum, just to think about how to do these things and to give me confidence. Yeah. And I think what's interesting over the 15 years, or particularly when you were swimming as well, things have changed. And we've become much more attuned. So as you said, you know, when we were teaching babies then, we were always very respectful. We gave them the queue. We thought they were ready. We look for those cues, those bright eyes leaning forward, and we allow them into the water. Now we're really, really tuned into sort of taking again, much more of a little bit more of a sort of just our step back. And rather than holding baby, we're really now allowing their very first underwater dip themselves. So baby swimming is really, really changing in the UK.

Not so much around the world, but I think, you know, one of these things might sort of catch up. But yeah, we do have a lot of different practices worldwide and I'm a massive advocate. of child led baby swimming because well at the end of the day you want your children to be happier and safer and to for me be connected to the water rather than you know just building in any in built fears really yeah and i think one of the limiting factors can be the cost of baby swimming because you're having smaller groups and of course the very high overheads of running a pool or or hiring a pool, it's not easy. It's easy to kind of think about the companies as being, you know, mercenary.

Like, how can they dare charge us that much? But the overheads are really high, and it's not the same as having a whole big leisure center full of paying customers. And so it is going to be perhaps more expensive. I think, you know, you guys were the most expensive baby class I did, but I would say it was worth it. And what I learned from that and what I took from that with my son, I think it's, it was really, really important.

Oh, thank you. I think it just works on all different levels, isn't it? It's a class for us. It's a class for baby. But I think also just long term, you know, we know that we're giving them the best start developmentally as well. You know, swimming has one of those magical ways of like just crossing all the brain domains, you know, the cognitive, the social, the speech and language.

It's just, it's all there. So I would say if parents were looking, for any class you know baby swimming pop it up there or if you can't go to classes then definitely definitely go yourself there shouldn't really be any barrier to you know go into water or having water at home really start there yeah and you've got new classes as well like bath time classes could you tell us about those yes thank you well just love really celebrating the fourth trimester and just slowing it all down and I do think that sometimes, you know, rushing to the pool isn't always baby led. I mean, talking about like the first baby sort of like two months

and the bath can be the perfect place and, you know, sometimes just being in that social environment. So if you can think of a little bit of like a nurturing touch baby massage mixed with baby swim, that's what we've created. It's really unique. It's called bath babies and it's a time where we're really celebrating together, really making sure babies are seen and heard, giving parents, really nice bath time tips, and it's really, really good fun as well. But for me, it's just making early water experience is special, but also it is making things much more accessible. Because I must admit, when I, or before I started bath babies,

I didn't have an appreciation of how many people were, perhaps we're a bit fearful of going into water themselves or cultural differences or skin or healing from birth, anything really. I didn't have a huge appreciation. So bath babies is actually almost like bridging a gap as well, making early water really accessible. So I'm really super excited to bring that to my local community, but also to others as well, supporting others, setting up their own bath babies. Yeah, and before we hit record, we were talking about actually this is a really nice opportunity potentially for people who want to build more experience with clinically relevant populations to perhaps take this into their own hands and think actually

maybe I could set up a little, you know, practice of teaching these bath classes to people so that I could work with postnatal populations and kind of parent and baby diet. I think it's potentially something that I would have been really really interested in earlier in my career for sure. Could you tell us a bit about how those kind of training the trainers courses would work, Joe? Yeah, sure. So I'm an aquatic tutor and the course has been accredited by SimSpar, which is, like I say, is like the offstead of aquatics in the UK, all the swim qualifications are accredited and off. inspire accredited bar babies. So that's really important, first of all, that people are getting approved and quality training. And secondly, I like to work with people in all sorts of different ways, whether it's online, face-to-face. But the idea is that at the end, when they're setting up

their case studies, they can actually run and be really confident to run their own classes. So we are really appealing to anybody that is working with children, naught to five, and they want to set up classes. But it can be like, you know, supportive classes. It could be parents that have had really sensitive or babies that have had sensitive beginnings as well. You can go down a little more of a sort of a therapeutic way if that is your, you know, your foundation base. But essentially what we're doing is we're creating safe spaces. We're celebrating that fourth trimester and being together and then the water's there sort of like holding that space as well. And I like to say like water is can be our teacher as well. You know, go in with the flow. There are so many different

messages that the water can actually teach us and holding those classes together really. Yeah, I think if I was working in a postnatal service where I was doing in person work, I would absolutely be saying, I think at least one of us needs to be trained to be able to do this lovely level of intervention with parents to support that bonding. So that's another avenue. Where can people learn more about you and your work, Jo? And if people did want in-person baby swimming, where are your pools? Thank you.

So I'm based in Warwickshire. I've got two pools, one in rugby, one in Lemington Spa. but I do an awful lot of work online as well. So through aquasensory and the program is called Bath Babies. And I have a book on Amazon and what I did is I set it at the lowest price. So it's really accessible for parents. So it's 299 Kindle, 399 print. And it's called Bath Babies creating beautiful bonds in water.

And it pretty much sums up what we've been talking today, that mindful way and gives us some practices as well. Amazing. Thank you so much for your time and thank you so much for everything that you do for these developing bonds and relationships with babies and their caregivers. It's really important. Oh, thank you for having me. You're so welcome. Thank you so much to my guest, Joe, today. I still do think back very fondly on my time with her in the pool with my eldest child. How has this episode been for you? I would love to know. Please do drop a comment if watching on YouTube, please do like and subscribe wherever you're watching the show. And let me know what

content you would find helpful in future too. If you are working with new parents or you are a new parent yourself or want to support or, you know, reach out to someone who is, I also really recommend a book by one of my colleagues. It's called Mindful New Mum and it's by Dr. Caroline Boyd. It really is a lovely, lovely nourishing read, I would say, for thinking about how to support mothers or how to support yourself in the postnatal period. So, yeah, that gets my seal of approval as well as baby swimming. If you're looking to become a psychologist, then let this be your guide.

With this podcast, that's your side to be on your way to be on. qualified it's the aspiring psychologist podcast with Dr. Mary and Trent. Hi, my name is Beth and I'm a psychological well-being practitioner from Newcastle. I just wanted to say the biggest thank you to the contributors of the clinical psychologist collective book. I've enjoyed reading this so much and loved having an insight into the range of backgrounds and experiences. People have prior to applying for the doctorate and it's been really interesting seeing the potential barriers to the application as well and how I can try and work around this. I really started to doubt myself and whether I was good enough to apply for the clinical psychology doctorate, but this has really given me the confidence boost that I needed to give it a shot. So the biggest

thank you ever.