The Aspiring Psychologist Podcast - Navigating Life Events as an Aspiring Psychologist

Episode Date: December 24, 2021

Show Notes for The Aspiring Psychologist Podcast Episode: 3Navigating Life Events as an Aspiring Psychologist  Thank you for listening to the Aspiring Psychologist Podcast. Life events don’t always happen when and where we expect them to and sometimes, we wish they hadn’t happened at all. In this episode I talk about navigating these events and your own mental health as an aspiring psychologist.   The Highlights: Welcome: 00:28Looking after yourself and raising your hand: 02:36 Grief: 04:00Parenting: 10:39Relationship Breakdown: 13:40 Personal Support: 14:35 Relocations: 16:28 Summary & Close: 18:15 Links: To check out The Clinical Psychologist Collective Book: https://amzn.to/3jOplx0To check out The Grief collective Book: https://amzn.to/3pmbz5tTo check out The Our Tricky Brain Kit: https://www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk/tricky-brainConnect on Socials:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GoodThinkingPsychologicalServicesLinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/dr-marianne-trent-psychology Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmariannetrent/Twitter: https://twitter.com/GoodThinkingPs1Like, Comment, Subscribe & get involved:If you enjoy the podcast please do subscribe and rate and review episodes. If you'd like to learn how to record and submit your own audio testimonial to be included in future shows head to:https://www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk/podcast and click the blue request info button at the top of the page.

Hi there, it's Marianne here. Before we dive into today's episode, I want to quickly let you know about something exciting that's happening right now. If you've ever wondered how to create income that works for you, rather than constantly trading your time for money, then you'll love the Race to Recurring Revenue Challenge with my business mentor, Lisa Johnson. This challenge is designed to help you build sustainable income streams. And whether you're an aspiring psychologist, a mental health professional, or in a completely different field, the principles can work for you.

There are also wonderful prizes to be won directly by Lisa herself. And if you join the challenge by my link, you can be in with a chance of winning a one-to-one hours coaching with me, Dr. Marianne Trent. Do you want to know more? Of course you do. Head to my link tree, Dr. Marianne Trent, or check out my social media channels, or send me a quick DM and I'll get you all the details. Right, let's get on with today's episode.

If you're looking to become a psychologist, then let this be your guide. episode. With Dr. Mary Andrews Hi, welcome along. Let's think for our career and to get on and to do the next thing, you know, the next assistant psychologist post or the next research post or the next rung on the needs of the service um and the needs of the clients of course because it's not an easy time to be a human right now and so as a result of that you know the need for mental health services has gone through the roof now of course we don't just necessarily work in mental health services you might be working in forensic services um or you know risk management services or um you know uh neuropsychological services which is kind of mental health anyway isn't it but you know what i mean so um you know it's not easy and you know so the clients might

not be coping they might not be coping on a waiting list and they might be phoning up regularly and you have to be on duty dealing with that you know and it's really tricky to really want to be able to run a service and to offer a service to people but when there are limitations in place it can be really tricky because we have ways that we can't you know respond as we would want to this can lead to an impact on you as a professional it can lead to you feeling pretty you know pretty stuck and pretty burned out and that might be the first of the life events which feels relevant to you um you know as an aspiring psychologist what we don't want is for you to burn out on your journey there but with these conflicting or massively high demands of the service that you work in it could happen you know and so we've got to be able to look after our

mental health we've got to be able to raise a hand you know if you feel like you're not managing so well and actually it can be really useful if it leads to a period of therapy for yourself or something therapeutic because it can give you really useful insider insight into what it's like to be a client so it's not all bad and of course if it helps you feel better and helps you use different ways to um to cope with situations so that they crop up less often or less likely to crop up in future then that is a win-win you know what is not to like there um we all are thinking about trying to maximise, you know, our window of tolerance to give ourselves more jam in the sandwich to be able to cope better with life as it ebbs and flows and ebb and flow it will. So my life ebbed when my dad was unwell. And grief is another area which can crop up right in the middle of your ordinary life when you were least expecting it. And it can be incredibly derailing, as I experienced. And if you'd like to read more about that, they can feel like, you know,

it's not okay to take your foot off the gas, you know, to react or to take time off from what you're doing. But what we know is that you are going to be your best optimal self at work when you feel like you've got more jam in that sandwich, when you feel like you've got more flexibility, when you feel like you, you know, you're not really, really hurting in the moment when you're not really reeling from your own personal circumstances and what I found was that whilst my colleagues were incredibly supportive when I did return to work after my dad sadly passed away that we could try and, you know, give me cases that weren't about, you know, cancer, that weren't about dead dads, you know, in a trauma service. There's a surprising amount of kind of, you know, dead dads, unfortunately. Some, you know, have arisen through really traumatic murders, you know. So it's, you know, we tried to be as selective as possible about that, to look after me.

But my dad was called Norman, God rest him. And, you know, with the best will in the world, I couldn't have predicted that, you know, a case of someone I was working with, that someone significant in the story was called Norman, you know. And so daily when I was seeing the client, I was having to hear the word Norman. And just, you know, in terms of my own transference issues, having to just deal with that and manage that. And so it is worth thinking whether you whether you are well placed to be at

work at the moment, if you are suffering with grief, and whether you can raise that with your supervisor, or, you know, maybe rejig what you're doing, so that you're less likely to be triggered whilst you're hurting but it might be useful so I found it really helpful to have some EMDR so eye movement desensitization and reprocessing to help me with my grief and that absolutely helped me to you know feel more contained about it to stop things being so leaky. But you know, when these sucker punches happen and something really significant happens in our life, you know, you're allowed to be human. None of us are superhuman or should be thinking that we ought to be. So if you've got that in your head as the ideal, then it might just be worth

having a little rethink about that another big life event can be becoming a parent and i will be back to talk with you about this um just after that break. So come and take a look It's right here in this book It's the Clinical Psychologist Collective It's the Clinical Psychologist Collective Hello, my name is Veronica Kassova. I live in Edinburgh and I just graduated with a Master's in Psychology of Mental Health. Marian recommended me the Clinical Psychologist Collective when I was networking on LinkedIn and I must say I love it. It is one of a kind. It's like a window into the lives of people

on the path of becoming a psychologist. The stories are unique, honest and filled with a kind of intangible wisdom only personal storytelling can uncover. A common thread in the stories I valued most was to be compassionate not only with others, but with myself too. Also not fixating on becoming a psychologist, but enjoying life, grow and the final results will come as a byproduct. Marianne thank you for taking the time to collate all the stories. The book is a true gem and I think every aspiring psychologist should have a copy on their shelf.

Thank you. If you're looking to become a psychologist, then let this be your guide. Filled with lessons and experience that will help you get qualified. So come and take a look. It's right here in this book. It's the Clinical Psychologist Collective. It's the Clinical Psychologist Collective. It's the Clinical Psychologist Collective. So, becoming a parent, this is something that I get asked reasonably often, you know, should I have a baby, you know, before I start my training? Should I have a baby during training? Is it best

to wait until after training? And I think it's such a unique decision based on you, you know, based on your age, based on your gender, based on your ideals for, you know, what kind of parent you'd like to be. So I know that for me, it felt like being an attachment parent. And, you know, using principles of gentle parenting felt like they resonated with me most okay so that's you know baby wearing and breastfeeding i was a breastfeeding mama um even with children with tongue ties to overcome that um and you know bed sharing when needed um as well and actually that would have been tricky if I was trying to work um as you know aspiring psychologist at that time but you know like many things in life we do just get on know, and make the best of a situation. And actually, if you feel like the time is right for you to start a family or to expand your family, then, you know, then that might well be what you want to do. most definitely a better psychologist since becoming a parent because it's given me new insight into you know positive regard and unconditional positive regard

giving me new insight into love and you, difficult feelings and parenting, you know, with a partner and staying on the same team, even when you don't always agree. It's, you know, I've really learned a lot. And so it's not, I'm not suggesting that you have a child to become a better psychologist. Please don't think that's what I'm saying. But, you know, like learning to dance in the rain isn't it that you might well you know stumble across new insights and reflections that are really useful you know so um that you do make interesting talking points for interviews you know when you're demonstrating points when you're're demonstrating that you have a good real life application of theory and can weave that into your understanding about clients and to advance your skills in being an aspiring psychologist. And another common life event can be relationship breakdown. You know, when you thought someone was going to be your forever,

and you hope they might be, or even if they were your just for now, you know, I absolutely, during training, spent a few days laying on a sofa, wailing because the person I thought was going to be my right now for a bit longer wasn't oh dear poor poor Marianne she was hurting she was hurting and so if you're experiencing your own heartache um you know heart goes out to you because it's not easy you know when you're trying to navigate that and while still showing up and still being present you know still trying to help clients and your staff team when actually your your world has got a bit dented so yeah you know it's important to think about who you're able to talk to about things like this you know are you well supported by your family have you got friends that you can talk to about it um even if they can't change it

which of course we often know they can't you know but can they hear you you know and I think with relationships it can be really useful to think about you know you've already imagined you know the next stages you might already have imagined you know children or you know you might even have booked holidays or weddings or something like that and so to then alter your perception of what your life might look like in future can be tricky, can be problematic. And you can allow yourself to grieve, you know, for what you've lost. And you absolutely can grieve for things that haven't yet happened you know for things that you had imagined would happen you know it's it's taken your life in a deviation from the course that that you would have hoped for and we kind of have to hope that things might work out for the best and that's you know what what's for you doesn't pass you by but it doesn't always

feel that way and that's sometimes a way that we make sense of what's happening to us but doesn't necessarily help us to deal with that pain you know um doesn't get that person to change their mind or be the person you know you might be the person that's decided to end this relationship because they're not the person that you need and yet you can still grieve for that relationship and I know that another common issue for aspiring psychologists is another biggie and it's where you live so it's really common to be applying for jobs all over the country and maybe even the world you know when you're an aspiring psychologist to try and build those skills and competencies that you might be lacking you know you recognized you would benefit from you know new new skills experiences and opportunities

so I know at any one time in sort of 2006, 2007, I think I had an interview being offered to me in Nottingham, one in the Lake District, bearing in mind I was living near Milton Keynes, and one in Birmingham. You know, that's quite a big spread offered those jobs, two of the interviews I didn't actually end up going to in the end. But if I'd been offered those, I would have considered relocating, even though I didn't know anyone there. And I know that's really common in psychology to just up sticks and go somewhere else, especially when you start training. But that takes time to to adjust to, you know, to find somewhere to live and to make sure you've got to feel safe there if you don't know the area of the country that you're going to be living in and to find new normal, you know, takes time. As well as trying to throw yourself into this new job, you're, you know, doing something pretty important, which is, you know,

settling into a new home environment. And that might be that you're renting with others and trying to, you know, get through all of that, everything that's inherent in that as well. So there are absolutely many, many different life events that can crop up on your journey to being an aspiring psychologist. So I thought it would be useful to just give you a little bit of an overview of those. And if you've got any more life events that you'd like me to talk about, just give me a shout. I do have a five day challenge coming up. So if you'd like some opportunities for free to learn about um you know building the skills and competencies to help you be the psychologist you would like to be then do check out www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk forward slash aspire.

I will look forward to catching up with you for our next episode very soon. Take care. then let this be your guide with this podcast at your side you'll be on your way to being qualified it's the aspiring psychologist with dr marianne my name's Jana and I'm a trainee psychological well-being practitioner I read the clinical psychologist collective book I found it really interesting about all the different stories and how people got to become a clinical psychologist, it just amazed me how many different routes there are to get there and there's no perfect way to become one. And this kind of filled me with confidence that, no, I'm not doing it wrong and put less pressure on myself. So if you're feeling a bit uneasy about becoming a clinical psychologist

I'd definitely recommend this just to put yourself at ease and everything will be okay. But trust me you will not put the book down once you start.