The Aspiring Psychologist Podcast - Recovering from Shame: Real Strategies That Actually Work

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

Have you ever carried a feeling that made you believe you were broken, unworthy, or unlovable? That’s the voice of shame but it doesn’t have to define you. In this follow-up to Episode 1 (“What Is Shame?”), Clinical Psychologist Dr Marianne Trent shares the practical, evidence-based strategies that help people recover from shame and rebuild their self-worth.From naming and externalising shame, to tracing its roots, cultivating self-compassion, and rewriting your personal narrative, this episode is full of actionable tools you can use to loosen shame’s grip. You’ll also hear the next chapters in the fictional case studies of Amina and James, showing how recovery can look in real life.Whether you’re an aspiring psychologist, a mental health professional, or someone on your own healing journey, you’ll come away with fresh insight and hope that shame can be transformed.Timestamps00:00 – Welcome and recap of “What Is Shame?”00:35 – Why naming shame is the first step to healing01:22 – Tracing shame’s roots in your life02:05 – Fictional case study updates: James and Amina04:04 – The role of self-compassion in shame recovery05:15 – How safe relationships support healing06:02 – Practical tools for loosening shame’s grip07:18 – Writing a new personal narrative08:22 – Final thoughts and encouragement#ShameRecovery #MentalHealthTips #SelfCompassion #OvercomingShame #PsychologyPodcastLinks:🫶 To support me by donating to help cover my costs for the free resources I provide click here: https://the-aspiring-psychologist.captivate.fm/support📚 To check out The Clinical Psychologist Collective Book: https://amzn.to/3jOplx0 📖 To check out The Aspiring Psychologist Collective Book: https://amzn.to/3CP2N97 💡 To check out or join the aspiring psychologist membership for just £30 per month head to: https://www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk/membership-interested🖥️ Check out my brand new short courses for aspiring psychologists and mental health professionals here: https://www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk/short-courses✍️ Get your Supervision Shaping Tool now: https://www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk/supervision📱Connect socially with Marianne and check out ways to work with her, including the Aspiring Psychologist Book, Clinical Psychologist book and The Aspiring Psychologist Membership on her Link tree: https://linktr.ee/drmariannetrent💬 To join my free Facebook group and discuss your thoughts on this episode and more: https://www.facebook.com/groups/aspiringpsychologistcommunityLike, Comment, Subscribe & get involved:If you enjoy the podcast, please do subscribe and rate and review episodes. If you'd like to learn how to record and submit your own audio testimonial to be included in future shows head to: https://www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk/podcast and click the blue request info button at the top...

My name is Diakolola Amujo. I am a recent psychology graduate from Ireland. I am also an aspiring clinical psychologist. Dr. Marion's book, The Clinical Psychologist Collective, has been so helpful to me on this journey to becoming a clinical psychologist. As I plan to continue postgraduate studies in the UK, I found it extremely useful that this book provided in-depth information information on the UK declineside application process. I enjoyed reading about the experiences of

both qualified and training clinical psychologists. The various narratives were my favorite part of the book, as everyone's story was different and it provided amazing insights into the clinical psychology journey. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone interested in psychology and aspires to become a clinical psychologist. Have you ever carried something that made you feel broken, exposed or unlovable? That, my friend, might well be shame. But what if it didn't have to define you? What if you could recover from it?

I'm Dr. Marianne, a qualified clinical psychologist. And today we're going to be talking about how people heal from shame and how you can too. Hope you find it really useful and if you do, please like and subscribe for more. Hi, welcome along and thank you for being here. So in episode one, we were thinking about what shame is, where it comes from and how it can distort the way that we see ourselves. But today we're focusing on something even more powerful and that is recovery. Whether you're an aspiring psych, a mental health professional, someone supporting others,

or just someone who's carrying that shame yourself, this one is definitely for you. How do we actually recover from shame? Let's take a look at the practical and psychological strategies that help people move from stuckness to healing. Number one, name it and externalise it. Shame loves secrecy. So the first step really is as simple as naming it, acknowledging that it's there.

It might look like noticing, I feel ashamed. And then just starting to explore why. Once we say it out loud, we start to see shame not as something we are, but as something we've been made to feel. And that is such a powerful and important shift. Number two, understand the roots. Shame often stems from early experiences, which could include trauma, cultural or family norms, or experiences of repeated invalidation.

Therapies such as compassion-focused therapy, CFT, schema therapy, and I'm movement desensitization and reprocessing EMDR can really help us begin to trace those roots and make sense of where the shame began and importantly why it was never our fault. Number three, cultivate compassion. Shame says loud and clear you're not good enough. Compassion says you're human and you're doing your best. We really do need to be able to cultivate, strengthen our inner compassionate voice if we are going to be able to overcome shame. It's kind of a non-negotiable. We need to challenge that critical narrative that shame creates and often then when we're feeling brighter, speaking to ourselves more calmly and more

kindly, we will often then be able to receive that same level of positive validation from others too. So if you have perhaps applied for a job and you didn't get it, a compassionate reframe of that might look like, well, I didn't get it this time, but I know that that doesn't mean I'm not worthy of it in future. And if you're noticing a real slump in your energy levels, you know, we can honour and respect what we've been up to in the day, the week, the month, the year, and kind of reframe that not as being lazy, but while I'm allowed to be tired and I'm still good enough, when I'm tired and I can allow myself to restore my energy levels and come out the other side when I'm ready. Number four, we're going to reclaim the narrative. Once we stop treating shame

like it's a hundred percent bona fide truth, we can then start to rewrite the story. From I'm broken to I'm healing, from I'm weak to I've survived more than people know. This is where our identity begins to shift and that power, that position in the driving seat, so to speak, really starts to return to you. Let's check back in with Amina, who we met in the first episode. She was really struggling with her position in her career. She was weighed down by this shame and kind of by what she learned was the impact of cultural expectations upon her. There was a very deep fear of disappointing others and this was showing up for her as shame and this was kind of linked to her job but of course when she began to go deeper on this with a therapist she realized that this was

mapping out in all areas of her life too not just her career so recovery did start when she started working with a therapist who normalized her feelings and helped her explore her values those which were her own and felt authentic to who she is and who she wants to be in future. She began to practice self-compassion. She gently challenged those inherited beliefs and she found a sense of community with others who'd faced similar struggles in the past too. This then validated everything she felt and made her realise that it wasn't her as a bad person.

It was just the treatment that she'd experienced was far from what she'd deserved all along. Bit by bit, she started to believe, I'm not selfish, I'm allowed to want more. This helped her to be able to apply herself in work situations to get the goals that she was striving for. It also allowed herself the time to get there when she was ready, rather than measuring herself against someone else's yardstick. Now Amina has come to a place where she's still able to honour her culture, her religion, her heritage, but she no longer sacrifices her. herself in the process. She has found balance and she describes herself as learning to be authentically a meaner. Of course I've made amina up. She's not a real person, but so many of her struggles might feel so relatable because this is what shame does to us. What about James?

When we met him in the first episode, he was really struggling with a tidal wave of shame after finding out that his partner had cheated on him. He was blaming himself, he had withdrawn from others, and he was questioning his own judgment, his own masculinity, and whether he would ever be good enough to be with anyone again in future. Healing began for James when he started working with a therapist and named what had happened, not just the betrayal, but the shame he was experiencing which was attached to it. He learned that being cheated on doesn't mean that he's unlovable. someone else made a choice and that you got hurt in the process. Over time, he began to rebuild trust in himself.

He even began dating, not from a place of fear or of getting over his partner, but with curiosity and respect for himself. Of course, like any of us, he still has moments of doubt, but he stopped believing the story that shame was making him believe about himself. He's reclaimed that narrative. He's reclaimed his position in the driving seat. Now, he says about that experience, well, it doesn't define me.

It's just taught me what I want to do differently in future. So shame is incredibly powerful. It has the ability to make us very small and very stuck, but it is not permanent. It can be a transition. state. And it's kind of anti-venom, so to speak, is most definitely curiosity, compassion and community. That's when it really loses its grip. If you're experiencing shame, you don't have to carry it forever. If you need advice or support, please check out the details on

screen or in the show notes. You might also like to know that I do still offer one-to-one therapy and have some limited availability at times too so if you would like me to be your therapist please do get in touch if you're an aspiring psychologist i also run the aspiring psychologist membership and if you're ready for something a little bit more intensive the ready to rise program come and grab your free psychology success guide on my website www. Aspiring-psychologist.com.com. If you haven't already watched episode one on shame, please do so, it will come up on the screen very shortly.

Thank you so much for being part of my world. If you've liked this content, please like and subscribe for more. Please drop me a comment to let me know what you found helpful and what content you would find helpful in future too. If you're listening on Spotify, you can also drop me a question or answer or comment there too. looking to become a psychologist then let this be your guide with this podcast that's your side you'll be on your way to being qualified it's the aspiring psychologist podcast Hi, I'm Max and a work as an assistant psychologist in the Learning Disability Service in West Yorkshire.

Like most people working in psychology, I'm slowly but surely working myself up to that seemingly impossible goal of getting onto the clinical doctorate. With that angle in mind, I thought I'd have a look at what's out there and see what books might be helpful for this. I came across Marianne's book, The Clinical Psychologist Collective, and decided that this would be a great for me to help me on my journey. I found Marion's book really informative, most insightful. I especially liked how the stories reassured me that you don't need to be academically perfect to become a psychologist, and that as long as you have good interpersonal skills, such

as compassion and empathy, you will get there. I would highly recommend this book to all aspiring psychologists, and also those who want to know a bit more about the world of clinical psychology and made me want to work in that field one day.